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1
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:07,610
So, how did this happen?
2
00:00:08,944 --> 00:00:11,446
Your Honor, what began
as a verbal dispute
3
00:00:11,447 --> 00:00:14,240
escalated into a
full-on trash fight
4
00:00:14,241 --> 00:00:16,826
in the middle of Second Avenue.
5
00:00:16,827 --> 00:00:19,204
Your Honor, we are asking
the court for leniency,
6
00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:22,457
as we are in the third week
of a citywide garbage strike,
7
00:00:22,458 --> 00:00:25,835
and everyone is on edge.
8
00:00:25,836 --> 00:00:27,254
You don't believe me?
9
00:00:30,049 --> 00:00:32,050
Alright, case dismissed.
10
00:00:32,051 --> 00:00:34,469
Please remember, even in
our darkest moments...
11
00:00:34,470 --> 00:00:36,222
And there's a bug on your face.
12
00:00:39,141 --> 00:00:40,767
Five-minute recess.
13
00:00:40,768 --> 00:00:42,811
Wow, with all the
trash piling up,
14
00:00:42,812 --> 00:00:45,606
people are really starting
to lose their minds.
15
00:00:49,777 --> 00:00:51,861
Yeah, people.
16
00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:53,613
If you ask me, I
think everyone's
17
00:00:53,614 --> 00:00:55,448
overreacting to this strike.
18
00:00:55,449 --> 00:00:56,866
I mean, garbage
is a part of life.
19
00:00:56,867 --> 00:00:58,243
We come into this
world as trash.
20
00:00:58,244 --> 00:01:00,703
We leave it as trash.
21
00:01:00,704 --> 00:01:02,872
Well, garbage strikes are
the one citywide crisis
22
00:01:02,873 --> 00:01:04,374
that I cannot abide.
23
00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:06,251
I'll take a blackout
over this any day.
24
00:01:06,252 --> 00:01:09,295
Oh, I love a good blackout.
25
00:01:09,296 --> 00:01:11,798
Ah, the restaurants and bars
26
00:01:11,799 --> 00:01:15,218
give you food and
drinks for free.
27
00:01:15,219 --> 00:01:18,972
And when a stranger grabs
your ass in total darkness,
28
00:01:18,973 --> 00:01:21,642
you can imagine it's anyone.
29
00:01:23,519 --> 00:01:25,311
Even Sting.
30
00:01:25,312 --> 00:01:27,230
MTA strikes aren't bad, either.
31
00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:30,191
Get your walking in and don't
have to sit in a metal tube
32
00:01:30,192 --> 00:01:32,735
watching people pretend to read.
33
00:01:32,736 --> 00:01:34,487
- You want to get some coffee?
- Oh, yeah.
34
00:01:34,488 --> 00:01:36,531
Oh, and... and how
great are blizzards?
35
00:01:36,532 --> 00:01:38,658
God, you can spend the
day staring out the window
36
00:01:38,659 --> 00:01:40,702
- watching idiots fall down.
- Yeah, you ever see a guy
37
00:01:40,703 --> 00:01:42,662
fall into his own baby carriage?
38
00:01:42,663 --> 00:01:46,207
Neither one of them
knows what to do.
39
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:49,335
Is anyone else nervous
there's two of them now?
40
00:01:49,336 --> 00:01:51,963
Still not clean.
41
00:01:51,964 --> 00:01:54,507
Wyatt, I had no idea you
were such a neat freak.
42
00:01:54,508 --> 00:01:58,469
I'd call you Mr. Clean, but
you can't pull off an earring.
43
00:01:58,470 --> 00:01:59,721
First of all, it
was the weekend,
44
00:01:59,722 --> 00:02:02,265
and I was trying something.
45
00:02:02,266 --> 00:02:04,225
Second, I'm not a neat freak.
46
00:02:04,226 --> 00:02:07,937
I'm a neat... ally.
47
00:02:07,938 --> 00:02:09,439
Dirt is like vampires.
48
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,191
If you invite it in,
it'll never leave.
49
00:02:12,192 --> 00:02:14,152
Vampires famously leave.
50
00:02:14,153 --> 00:02:16,654
They turn into bats
and get the hell out.
51
00:02:16,655 --> 00:02:18,239
All I'm saying is, it'd be nice
52
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,866
if the courthouse stayed clean,
53
00:02:19,867 --> 00:02:21,492
since it's somehow the
one place in the city
54
00:02:21,493 --> 00:02:23,828
- that's not covered in garbage.
- You're right.
55
00:02:23,829 --> 00:02:25,788
What do you think they're
doing with all that trash?
56
00:02:25,789 --> 00:02:28,708
I don't care what
they're doing with it.
57
00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:31,377
All I know is this is an oasis
compared to the nightmare
58
00:02:31,378 --> 00:02:34,380
that waits beyond those doors.
59
00:02:34,381 --> 00:02:37,508
Whew!
60
00:02:37,509 --> 00:02:41,596
Let me tell you,
I have had a day.
61
00:02:41,597 --> 00:02:44,307
Man, trash strike got you, too?
62
00:02:44,308 --> 00:02:46,100
What trash strike?
63
00:02:52,858 --> 00:02:56,861
{\an8}Mr. Crainey was charged with
multiple counts of trespassing.
64
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,821
{\an8}He was caught digging
through the trash
65
00:02:58,822 --> 00:03:00,865
{\an8}of several celebrities.
66
00:03:00,866 --> 00:03:02,910
{\an8}And Kathy Griffin.
67
00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:05,828
{\an8}Seems like a random burn.
68
00:03:05,829 --> 00:03:09,248
{\an8}Oh, she knows what she did.
69
00:03:09,249 --> 00:03:11,209
{\an8}My client wasn't hurting anyone.
70
00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:12,669
{\an8}I mean, half the free
stuff celebrities get
71
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,337
{\an8}goes right in the trash.
72
00:03:14,338 --> 00:03:16,339
{\an8}Believe me, if Liam Neeson
wants his Theragun back,
73
00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:19,175
{\an8}he'll come and get it.
74
00:03:19,176 --> 00:03:20,885
{\an8}$100 fine.
75
00:03:20,886 --> 00:03:23,680
{\an8}And instead of mooching
off other people's success,
76
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:27,141
{\an8}maybe work hard and earn
your own invitation to, um,
77
00:03:27,142 --> 00:03:31,479
{\an8}Paris Hilton's
dog's quincea�era.
78
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,564
{\an8}You know, Dan,
I've been thinking.
79
00:03:33,565 --> 00:03:35,566
{\an8}Garbage strikes aren't all bad.
80
00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:37,151
{\an8}You know, it keeps
the tourists away,
81
00:03:37,152 --> 00:03:40,113
{\an8}so you get to have the
city all to yourself.
82
00:03:40,114 --> 00:03:42,573
{\an8}And even the rats
are so fat and horny
83
00:03:42,574 --> 00:03:45,243
{\an8}that they don't bother you.
84
00:03:45,244 --> 00:03:46,828
{\an8}Yeah, in theory, that's great.
85
00:03:46,829 --> 00:03:49,789
{\an8}You're forgetting one
thing... the stench.
86
00:03:49,790 --> 00:03:53,167
{\an8}What if I told you there
was a way around that?
87
00:03:53,168 --> 00:03:55,420
{\an8}They found this on
the dumpster diver.
88
00:03:55,421 --> 00:03:58,089
{\an8}Expired ear drops.
89
00:03:58,090 --> 00:04:02,510
{\an8}The main side effect is you
lose your sense of smell.
90
00:04:02,511 --> 00:04:06,514
{\an8}Another side effect
is day terrors.
91
00:04:06,515 --> 00:04:08,349
{\an8}- Have you tried them yet?
- Not yet.
92
00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:10,811
{\an8}Get thee back to hell, succubus!
93
00:04:15,065 --> 00:04:17,108
{\an8}I'm messing with you.
94
00:04:17,109 --> 00:04:18,651
{\an8}No, I thought we could share it
95
00:04:18,652 --> 00:04:21,029
{\an8}and, you know, maybe
go explore together.
96
00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:23,656
{\an8}Why are you being nice?
97
00:04:23,657 --> 00:04:25,450
{\an8}You should know, the doctors
have declared my organs
98
00:04:25,451 --> 00:04:28,202
{\an8}adequate at best.
99
00:04:28,203 --> 00:04:30,329
{\an8}Maybe I just want someone
to be there to help
100
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:32,540
{\an8}if I see a demon.
101
00:04:32,541 --> 00:04:34,125
{\an8}Or maybe...
102
00:04:34,126 --> 00:04:35,835
{\an8}I'm falling in love with...
103
00:04:40,841 --> 00:04:44,135
{\an8}I can't even say that
with a straight face.
104
00:04:44,136 --> 00:04:46,721
{\an8}No, no, it's the demon thing.
105
00:04:46,722 --> 00:04:48,389
Alright, tell you what,
I'm gonna go against
106
00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:51,726
every instinct I have
and say, eh, sure.
107
00:04:51,727 --> 00:04:53,561
But listen, if you're
trying to trick me,
108
00:04:53,562 --> 00:04:55,521
I want it on record that
I never trusted you,
109
00:04:55,522 --> 00:04:57,274
so it doesn't count.
110
00:04:59,193 --> 00:05:01,778
Ooh, there's Bert. She's
the head custodian.
111
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:04,739
We should ask how they're
keeping this place so clean.
112
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:06,115
You're really not curious?
113
00:05:06,116 --> 00:05:07,658
No, because I already know.
114
00:05:07,659 --> 00:05:09,786
She's using a
trash-eating enzyme,
115
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,704
possibly cytochrome c oxidase.
116
00:05:11,705 --> 00:05:13,247
The real question's,
how'd she get access
117
00:05:13,248 --> 00:05:16,667
to a military lab in Serbia?
118
00:05:16,668 --> 00:05:19,253
That's ridiculous. You
want to know my theory?
119
00:05:19,254 --> 00:05:21,756
Somebody's eating it.
120
00:05:21,757 --> 00:05:23,467
But who?
121
00:05:25,094 --> 00:05:28,721
So, you want to know what
we're doing with the trash?
122
00:05:28,722 --> 00:05:31,099
- How did you know?
- Well, you're a Sagittarius,
123
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,975
so you have an inquisitive mind.
124
00:05:32,976 --> 00:05:35,436
Also, sometimes people throw
out working hearing aids,
125
00:05:35,437 --> 00:05:38,147
and I use them to eavesdrop.
126
00:05:38,148 --> 00:05:41,526
But you wash them
off first, right?
127
00:05:41,527 --> 00:05:43,987
That's how you
get ear-patitis C!
128
00:05:45,405 --> 00:05:48,116
So, Bert, how about sharing
your cleaning secret with us?
129
00:05:48,117 --> 00:05:49,909
Sorry, I can't tell you.
130
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:51,953
That's fine. We don't
want to bother you.
131
00:05:51,954 --> 00:05:54,413
But I can show you.
132
00:05:54,414 --> 00:05:56,041
Ta-da!
133
00:05:58,919 --> 00:06:01,629
You throw the trash
in a big hole?
134
00:06:01,630 --> 00:06:04,257
Technically, a hole you
can see the bottom of.
135
00:06:04,258 --> 00:06:07,343
This is an abyss.
136
00:06:07,344 --> 00:06:09,387
- I have a lot of questions.
- Really?
137
00:06:09,388 --> 00:06:12,391
I thought the big hole would
have answered most of them.
138
00:06:16,311 --> 00:06:18,271
I was expecting
more "holy crap!"
139
00:06:18,272 --> 00:06:21,774
and less hole of crap.
140
00:06:21,775 --> 00:06:24,902
You don't, uh... You
don't like the hole?
141
00:06:24,903 --> 00:06:26,988
It's not that I
don't like the hole.
142
00:06:26,989 --> 00:06:30,449
I just prefer things
to have a bottom.
143
00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:32,660
You've got some nerve.
144
00:06:32,661 --> 00:06:34,745
Do you want your
courtroom clean or not?
145
00:06:34,746 --> 00:06:38,040
Clean! Definitely. She
didn't mean anything by it.
146
00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:39,417
She loves the hole.
147
00:06:39,418 --> 00:06:41,169
Abby, tell her
you love the hole.
148
00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:43,921
It's just a bit of a letdown.
149
00:06:43,922 --> 00:06:45,590
I guess I was expecting
more from you.
150
00:06:45,591 --> 00:06:47,967
You were expecting more from me?
151
00:06:47,968 --> 00:06:51,762
This is the second
conversation we've ever had.
152
00:06:51,763 --> 00:06:55,141
Ohh, you trash-makers
are all the same.
153
00:06:55,142 --> 00:06:57,768
Nothing but complaints
with no appreciation.
154
00:06:57,769 --> 00:07:00,062
Well, you know what? We're
not taking it anymore.
155
00:07:00,063 --> 00:07:02,648
Giuseppe, stand down!
156
00:07:02,649 --> 00:07:04,902
We're on strike.
157
00:07:07,696 --> 00:07:09,780
I know there are bigger
issues right now,
158
00:07:09,781 --> 00:07:11,199
but are we just going to ignore
159
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,493
that that guy's
name is Giuseppe?
160
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,627
Okay, the custodians
joined the garbage strike
161
00:07:24,628 --> 00:07:26,754
after I ever so slightly
162
00:07:26,755 --> 00:07:29,632
questioned their
waste-disposal methods.
163
00:07:29,633 --> 00:07:34,011
Abby, don't tell me you
spoke ill of the hole.
164
00:07:34,012 --> 00:07:35,388
You knew about the hole?
165
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,640
Everybody knows about the hole.
166
00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:39,225
This is just like
when no one explained
167
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,018
what brat summer was.
168
00:07:41,019 --> 00:07:42,728
I went around asking, "Is
this brat? Is this brat?"
169
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,982
It never was.
170
00:07:45,983 --> 00:07:48,609
But it's okay, because
I designed a system
171
00:07:48,610 --> 00:07:51,862
to keep this place clean
that is both fair and fun.
172
00:07:51,863 --> 00:07:53,114
Let me guess.
You made a wheel.
173
00:07:53,115 --> 00:07:56,409
I made a wheel!
174
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,452
Wyatt, would you
like to spin first?
175
00:07:58,453 --> 00:08:01,539
Come on, "de-louse
the gallery."
176
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:03,416
And what do we do with
the garbage we collect?
177
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:06,210
- Flobert's got that covered.
- I have a guy.
178
00:08:06,211 --> 00:08:09,672
Really? We're all fine
with that explanation?
179
00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:11,215
Flobert does have a lot of guys.
180
00:08:11,216 --> 00:08:12,800
One of them shortens my robes
181
00:08:12,801 --> 00:08:14,720
and uses the extra
for headbands.
182
00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,099
"Dance it out."
Well, what's that?
183
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,892
It's when you dance
it out for 30 seconds.
184
00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:23,769
It's a fun one.
185
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,688
I don't want a fun one.
186
00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:30,151
I want to hear the bacteria
scream as I send them to hell!
187
00:08:30,152 --> 00:08:32,070
But first, dancing.
188
00:08:38,577 --> 00:08:40,870
I'm amazed how effective
those ear drops are.
189
00:08:40,871 --> 00:08:43,122
I mean, I have not
smelled a thing all day,
190
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,250
and I'm starting to get a
handle on those side effects.
191
00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:48,712
Out, beast!
192
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:55,384
You all missed a
hell of a good time.
193
00:08:55,385 --> 00:08:57,887
We went to a crowd-free
Statue of Liberty
194
00:08:57,888 --> 00:09:00,306
and dined alone at Le Bernardin.
195
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,601
And without tourists, Times
Square is healing itself
196
00:09:03,602 --> 00:09:06,354
and returning to
its natural state.
197
00:09:06,355 --> 00:09:09,398
Porno theaters are back.
198
00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:11,525
- What's going on here?
- You know what?
199
00:09:11,526 --> 00:09:12,943
I'm going to assume that Abby
200
00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:14,487
somehow pissed off the hole lady
201
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:17,448
and now she refuses to clean.
202
00:09:17,449 --> 00:09:20,117
But she's come up
with a fun solution
203
00:09:20,118 --> 00:09:22,995
that Wyatt is now trapped in.
204
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,914
30 seconds must be up by now.
205
00:09:24,915 --> 00:09:26,999
You better not be
counting in Mississippis.
206
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,752
There's no other way to count.
207
00:09:30,545 --> 00:09:32,713
Strike! Strike! Strike!
208
00:09:32,714 --> 00:09:36,509
Excuse me. Gurgs,
Gurgs, we need to talk.
209
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,886
My garbage guy fell through.
210
00:09:38,887 --> 00:09:41,389
I don't understand. He's
usually so reliable.
211
00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:43,849
Every Tuesday, 8:00
a.m., he comes by
212
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:48,646
in his big green truck that
says "Sanitation" on the side.
213
00:09:48,647 --> 00:09:52,024
So your garbage guy
was just a garbageman?
214
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,610
You gotta help me figure out
what to do with all the trash.
215
00:09:54,611 --> 00:09:57,029
I can't keep driving it out to
the middle of the East River
216
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,823
on my Sea-Doo.
217
00:09:58,824 --> 00:10:00,366
This one's ready
for you, Flobert.
218
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,410
And I am ready for it.
219
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,539
I ain't ready for it.
220
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:09,291
Alright, I'll help, but
I'm not doing it for you.
221
00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:11,253
I'm doing it for the Sea-Doo.
222
00:10:13,839 --> 00:10:16,424
Wow, this place looks great.
223
00:10:16,425 --> 00:10:19,427
The floor doesn't look
like it chain smokes.
224
00:10:19,428 --> 00:10:22,263
- Way to go, mop star.
- I didn't mop anything.
225
00:10:22,264 --> 00:10:24,014
I'm actually trying to figure
out what I'm gonna do tomorrow.
226
00:10:24,015 --> 00:10:25,266
I can finally walk
along the Hudson
227
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:27,893
without smelling New Jersey.
228
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,437
Still have to see it, though.
229
00:10:29,438 --> 00:10:31,647
I'll just take my glasses off.
230
00:10:31,648 --> 00:10:33,899
Wait. When you spun the wheel,
you got "mop the floors."
231
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,943
So if you didn't
do it, then who...
232
00:10:35,944 --> 00:10:38,572
- Wyatt.
- I knew he'd do it wrong!
233
00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,491
Abby, look, I consider
myself a reasonable man.
234
00:10:42,492 --> 00:10:44,410
Someone walk in behind
me, I'll hold the door.
235
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,245
I see someone walk into a door,
236
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,873
I'll wait to laugh
until they're gone.
237
00:10:48,874 --> 00:10:51,792
But cleaning the courthouse
when it's not part of my job
238
00:10:51,793 --> 00:10:54,044
is a line I will not cross.
239
00:10:54,045 --> 00:10:56,046
Oh, you hear that?
240
00:10:56,047 --> 00:10:58,841
The fancy one won't
cross the picket line.
241
00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:01,135
He's on our side!
242
00:11:01,136 --> 00:11:02,928
Uh, yeah, that's right.
243
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:07,433
I'm not cleaning
for noble reasons.
244
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,893
You are so full of it.
245
00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:10,603
And you laughed immediately
246
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:13,023
when I walked into that
door you didn't hold for me.
247
00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:16,942
- Bert, what can I do to fix this?
- Oh, typical.
248
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:19,862
You only care about us when
the garbage hits the fan.
249
00:11:19,863 --> 00:11:22,114
You never ask us about
our hopes, our dreams,
250
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,366
our pet alligators.
251
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:27,620
Oh, right. Yeah. How is
the little green fella?
252
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:32,291
She has a name, and it's Todd.
253
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,877
Guess this guy is the
only one who cares.
254
00:11:34,878 --> 00:11:36,879
He doesn't care.
He's just lazy.
255
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,172
I'll prove it.
256
00:11:38,173 --> 00:11:40,883
What's her name?
257
00:11:40,884 --> 00:11:42,510
Comrade.
258
00:11:42,511 --> 00:11:44,261
Fancy man!
259
00:11:44,262 --> 00:11:47,807
Fancy man! Fancy man!
260
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:53,521
My first edict as king will
be to banish the wheel.
261
00:11:53,522 --> 00:11:55,899
I hope you fall in the hole.
262
00:12:00,529 --> 00:12:02,905
Okay, okay, so Dan is
the face of a revolution,
263
00:12:04,111 --> 00:12:06,070
and we're low on
cleaning supplies.
264
00:12:06,071 --> 00:12:07,947
Though I did read
that human urine
265
00:12:07,948 --> 00:12:12,243
is a powerful cleansing
agent, so keep hydrating.
266
00:12:12,244 --> 00:12:14,495
And I'm testing the limits
of how much a human hand
267
00:12:14,496 --> 00:12:16,205
can be exposed to lye.
268
00:12:16,206 --> 00:12:18,042
It's minimal to none.
269
00:12:23,797 --> 00:12:25,298
Tell me that's normal.
270
00:12:25,299 --> 00:12:27,718
Tell me that's how
Postmates delivers now.
271
00:12:30,095 --> 00:12:31,471
What is going on here?
272
00:12:31,472 --> 00:12:33,181
Murray's garbage
guy fell through.
273
00:12:33,182 --> 00:12:34,515
So to get rid of the garbage,
274
00:12:34,516 --> 00:12:37,185
we're floating it
out the window.
275
00:12:37,186 --> 00:12:42,023
If my calculations are
correct, and I know they are,
276
00:12:42,024 --> 00:12:43,858
this should be landing gently
277
00:12:43,859 --> 00:12:45,777
in the Passaic County
Transfer Station
278
00:12:45,778 --> 00:12:48,738
in T-minus four hours.
279
00:12:48,739 --> 00:12:51,366
Fly true, bag of turkey bones.
280
00:12:53,702 --> 00:12:55,912
This is how you're getting
rid of our garbage?
281
00:12:55,913 --> 00:12:58,247
The plot of "Up"?
282
00:12:58,248 --> 00:13:00,583
We are so screwed.
283
00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:02,502
You have to make
things right with Bert.
284
00:13:02,503 --> 00:13:04,045
What do you want me to do?
285
00:13:04,046 --> 00:13:05,713
You saw the way
she snapped at me.
286
00:13:05,714 --> 00:13:07,548
That was worse than
the time I asked Dan
287
00:13:07,549 --> 00:13:10,718
if he had Olympic fever.
288
00:13:10,719 --> 00:13:12,261
I think there's something
else going on with her.
289
00:13:12,262 --> 00:13:14,138
What are you saying?
290
00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:15,890
The strange lady who throws
all the trash in a mystery hole
291
00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:19,268
might have a complicated
personal life?
292
00:13:19,269 --> 00:13:21,646
I guess I really don't
know anything about Bert.
293
00:13:21,647 --> 00:13:24,733
In my phone, she's just
"in case you spill again."
294
00:13:26,568 --> 00:13:28,861
Maybe I am a jerk. I
mean, she knows about us.
295
00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:30,613
She even knew I
was a Sagittarius.
296
00:13:30,614 --> 00:13:32,240
Which is crazy,
because I work so hard
297
00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:35,660
to lead with my Libra
moon and Virgo rising.
298
00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:37,578
Well, she handles our garbage.
299
00:13:37,579 --> 00:13:40,164
You could probably learn a lot
about someone from their trash.
300
00:13:40,165 --> 00:13:41,874
Wyatt, you're a genius.
301
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:43,251
We have to go
through her garbage.
302
00:13:43,252 --> 00:13:45,253
No, that's not on the wheel.
303
00:13:45,254 --> 00:13:47,880
And I only answer
to the wheel now.
304
00:13:47,881 --> 00:13:49,632
Don't you see?
305
00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:51,425
This is how we're gonna find
out what's bothering her
306
00:13:51,426 --> 00:13:53,302
and why she's being so brat.
307
00:13:53,303 --> 00:13:55,429
Still not right.
308
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:58,766
Wow, you can learn a lot about
someone from their trash.
309
00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:01,018
Like this guy's wife is
definitely cheating on him.
310
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:03,771
Oh, man, what a loser.
311
00:14:03,772 --> 00:14:07,025
Oh, wait. That's...
That's my trash.
312
00:14:09,319 --> 00:14:10,862
You know, I just
want to thank you
313
00:14:10,863 --> 00:14:12,864
for welcoming me with open arms
314
00:14:12,865 --> 00:14:16,075
and open boxes of baked goods.
315
00:14:16,076 --> 00:14:20,204
No one will support you
more by cleaning less.
316
00:14:20,205 --> 00:14:23,207
Oh, I stand with
you. I see you.
317
00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:26,210
I... Oh! Mm.
318
00:14:26,211 --> 00:14:29,213
I'm starting to smell
you. Um, you know what?
319
00:14:29,214 --> 00:14:31,215
Excuse me. Go ahead. Strike,
strike, strike, strike.
320
00:14:31,216 --> 00:14:32,884
Strike, strike. Strike.
321
00:14:32,885 --> 00:14:35,094
Oh, Julianne, the... the
drops are wearing off.
322
00:14:35,095 --> 00:14:37,513
- I need a hit.
- So this is where you've been?
323
00:14:37,514 --> 00:14:39,807
I had to go to that Times
Square porno theater
324
00:14:39,808 --> 00:14:42,393
all by myself like a weirdo.
325
00:14:42,394 --> 00:14:44,770
I was the only one who
stayed through the credits.
326
00:14:44,771 --> 00:14:46,814
I mean, people really
have no appreciation
327
00:14:46,815 --> 00:14:49,108
for how much work
goes into those films.
328
00:14:49,109 --> 00:14:51,068
Fine, fine. No, this
is where the perks are.
329
00:14:51,069 --> 00:14:54,113
These... These garbage jockeys
can get me sanitation plates.
330
00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:57,200
I'll be able to block any
fire hydrant in the city.
331
00:14:57,201 --> 00:14:58,701
This wasn't the deal.
332
00:14:58,702 --> 00:15:00,703
No, I didn't share
my stash with you
333
00:15:00,704 --> 00:15:04,832
so that you could be the Che
Guevara of the hole people.
334
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:07,794
They've already put
my face on a shirt.
335
00:15:09,129 --> 00:15:11,005
Uh-huh. No, Julianne, please.
336
00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:12,089
Look, look, look, look, look.
337
00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:14,592
I just need just a taste
338
00:15:14,593 --> 00:15:17,094
of that sweet ear juice.
339
00:15:17,095 --> 00:15:18,763
Just... Just to get
me through the day.
340
00:15:18,764 --> 00:15:21,140
Come on, baby,
come on, you know.
341
00:15:21,141 --> 00:15:24,101
We've had some good times
together, haven't we?
342
00:15:24,102 --> 00:15:27,104
Oh, Dan, I hate
seeing you like this.
343
00:15:27,105 --> 00:15:29,232
But if you really
gotta have the drops...
344
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:30,566
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
345
00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:32,401
Then they're right... here.
346
00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:34,071
What? Yes.
347
00:15:44,498 --> 00:15:45,831
Will you just get in?
348
00:15:45,832 --> 00:15:48,834
It's cleaner than
most subway cars.
349
00:15:48,835 --> 00:15:50,378
I need your wingspan.
350
00:15:50,379 --> 00:15:51,754
It'll take forever to
find Bert's garbage
351
00:15:51,755 --> 00:15:54,090
with my T-Rex arms.
352
00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,675
Perhaps I should have
said this earlier,
353
00:15:55,676 --> 00:15:58,135
but a major characteristic
of germophobia
354
00:15:58,136 --> 00:16:00,680
is not wanting to
jump in dumpsters.
355
00:16:00,681 --> 00:16:02,348
If you don't want to help me,
356
00:16:02,349 --> 00:16:04,267
you should at least get
in here to help yourself.
357
00:16:04,268 --> 00:16:08,312
You clearly have control issues.
You need to embrace the chaos.
358
00:16:08,313 --> 00:16:12,525
Counterpoint... You have
deli meat on your neck.
359
00:16:12,526 --> 00:16:14,026
Okay, fine.
360
00:16:14,027 --> 00:16:16,279
Just trying to help.
361
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,572
Aah! Aah! Wyatt, help!
362
00:16:18,573 --> 00:16:22,034
There's a trash monster,
and it's pulling me down!
363
00:16:22,035 --> 00:16:24,078
Jump in and help me!
364
00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:27,748
Nice try, but everyone
knows the garbage monster
365
00:16:27,749 --> 00:16:29,583
would eat the black guy first.
366
00:16:29,584 --> 00:16:31,877
Forget it. Sorry
I bothered you.
367
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:35,131
God.
368
00:16:35,132 --> 00:16:37,591
I think I'm caught on something.
369
00:16:37,592 --> 00:16:40,761
My foot's stuck.
I-I can't move.
370
00:16:40,762 --> 00:16:42,888
Oh, oh. You're
telling the truth.
371
00:16:42,889 --> 00:16:44,724
Uh, okay.
372
00:16:44,725 --> 00:16:47,018
Try to reach your
leg with your mouth.
373
00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,519
You can chew it off.
374
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,187
Wyatt!
375
00:16:50,188 --> 00:16:52,231
Alright.
376
00:16:52,232 --> 00:16:54,151
Give me your hand.
377
00:16:55,986 --> 00:16:58,280
- Oh, I'm loose.
- Aah!
378
00:17:01,283 --> 00:17:02,575
You did it!
379
00:17:02,576 --> 00:17:05,161
Why are you doing this to me?!
380
00:17:05,162 --> 00:17:07,288
I played your game.
I spun your wheel.
381
00:17:07,289 --> 00:17:08,831
I danced for you eight times
382
00:17:08,832 --> 00:17:10,499
and came up with a
new move every time.
383
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,126
The running man,
the jogging man,
384
00:17:12,127 --> 00:17:13,753
and the walking man
are the same dance.
385
00:17:13,754 --> 00:17:16,422
You were just getting tired.
386
00:17:16,423 --> 00:17:19,675
You couldn't let me just have
one thing that I'm weird about.
387
00:17:19,676 --> 00:17:21,260
Now I'm in a dumpster.
388
00:17:21,261 --> 00:17:25,306
I'm covered in trash,
and it's disgusting.
389
00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:30,144
But I guess it hasn't
killed me, which is nice.
390
00:17:30,145 --> 00:17:33,356
You know what? I don't
hate that fuzzy lamp.
391
00:17:33,357 --> 00:17:35,274
I believe that's a squirrel
who choked on a light bulb.
392
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:37,569
We're just gonna cover
that with some trash.
393
00:17:39,321 --> 00:17:40,821
Julianne! Julianne!
394
00:17:40,822 --> 00:17:42,531
Alright, one move
and these drops
395
00:17:42,532 --> 00:17:43,949
get dropped into the dropster.
396
00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:45,493
What?
397
00:17:45,494 --> 00:17:47,411
Dumpster.
398
00:17:47,412 --> 00:17:49,246
Oh, I knew I couldn't trust you.
399
00:17:49,247 --> 00:17:51,791
The real day terror
was you all along.
400
00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:53,459
Oh, no, this is on you, Dan.
401
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:56,170
'Cause you lost sight
of what's important.
402
00:17:56,171 --> 00:17:58,964
But instead, it's come to this.
403
00:17:58,965 --> 00:18:01,593
Aah! No!
404
00:18:04,763 --> 00:18:06,722
Julianne, you still up there?
405
00:18:06,723 --> 00:18:10,017
I seem to be stuck halfway down.
406
00:18:10,018 --> 00:18:13,270
Ah, but in so many ways...
407
00:18:13,271 --> 00:18:15,272
you've already hit bottom.
408
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:26,570
Oh, wait a second.
409
00:18:26,571 --> 00:18:28,613
I think this is Bert's trash.
410
00:18:28,614 --> 00:18:31,867
It's filled with
condolence cards.
411
00:18:31,868 --> 00:18:34,661
"My deepest
sympathies for Todd."
412
00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:36,246
Her alligator died.
This is great.
413
00:18:36,247 --> 00:18:37,789
I mean, not great
that it's dead,
414
00:18:37,790 --> 00:18:39,833
great that we know
what's bothering her.
415
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:42,794
Abby, is that you?
416
00:18:42,795 --> 00:18:45,547
Dan? What are you doing
in the trash chute?
417
00:18:45,548 --> 00:18:48,300
Oh, just chillin'.
418
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,761
If you see any expired
ear medication,
419
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:54,264
could you be a dear and
just throw it up here?
420
00:18:59,228 --> 00:19:01,313
I really appreciate
you doing this, Judge.
421
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,690
It's exactly what Todd
would have wanted.
422
00:19:16,996 --> 00:19:19,456
We are gathered here
today to honor the memory
423
00:19:19,457 --> 00:19:21,041
of Todd the alligator.
424
00:19:21,042 --> 00:19:22,709
If she was here,
she would remind us
425
00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:25,462
to appreciate all the
special people in our lives,
426
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:30,217
whether it be friends,
alligators, or co-workers.
427
00:19:30,218 --> 00:19:31,802
Actually, if she were here,
428
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:35,305
she would try to
violently maul all of us.
429
00:19:35,306 --> 00:19:36,682
God, I miss her.
430
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,563
She was a former
military alligator.
431
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:46,234
See you later, alligator.
432
00:19:49,612 --> 00:19:51,696
Well, as a Louisianan,
433
00:19:51,697 --> 00:19:53,532
I've been to a lot of
alligator funerals.
434
00:19:53,533 --> 00:19:56,201
And this one is right up there.
435
00:19:56,202 --> 00:19:59,037
Yeah, but I bet those didn't
end a janitors' strike.
436
00:19:59,038 --> 00:20:00,705
Now if only there was
something we could do
437
00:20:00,706 --> 00:20:02,499
about the garbage strike.
438
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:05,210
Actually, word on the street
is the strike is over.
439
00:20:05,211 --> 00:20:07,003
How do you know that?
440
00:20:07,004 --> 00:20:08,588
I found a hearing
aid in the dumpster,
441
00:20:08,589 --> 00:20:11,466
so I can hear people
talking on the street.
442
00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:14,678
I like to think we made it
possible in some small way.
443
00:20:14,679 --> 00:20:16,596
Oh, we made it
possible in a big way
444
00:20:16,597 --> 00:20:19,182
when our trash balloons started
exploding all over the city.
445
00:20:19,183 --> 00:20:22,561
Yeah, nothing like a bunch
of trash falling from the sky
446
00:20:22,562 --> 00:20:25,730
to get people back to
the bargaining table.
447
00:20:25,731 --> 00:20:27,941
I guess you hurled yourself
into that trash chute
448
00:20:27,942 --> 00:20:30,235
- for nothing.
- Well, no, not for nothing.
449
00:20:30,236 --> 00:20:34,406
Once I hit the dumpster,
I found this cool lamp.
450
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:38,160
Also, spending the day with
you was, um, enjoyable.
451
00:20:38,161 --> 00:20:41,705
We should do it again.
Next garbage strike.
452
00:20:41,706 --> 00:20:44,624
I'll hold on to the
bottle just in case.
453
00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:47,294
You know, the beauty of
expired ear medication
454
00:20:47,295 --> 00:20:50,589
is that it just keeps
on getting more expired.
455
00:20:52,383 --> 00:20:55,051
That's weird. The cello
case is stuck on something.
456
00:20:55,052 --> 00:20:56,804
I think it's a power line.
457
00:20:59,765 --> 00:21:01,684
{\an8}Yep, it's a power line.
458
00:21:03,352 --> 00:21:04,644
{\an8}I'm hearing two Con Ed guys
459
00:21:04,645 --> 00:21:06,897
{\an8}have a conversation
in an elevator.
460
00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:10,358
{\an8}Seems there's a
citywide blackout.
461
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,361
{\an8}Oh, and they're in love.
462
00:21:13,362 --> 00:21:15,030
{\an8}What do you say, Dan?
463
00:21:15,031 --> 00:21:17,282
{\an8}You want to hit up a bar
and get some free drinks?
464
00:21:17,283 --> 00:21:18,909
{\an8}Yeah. Yeah. Sure,
sure, sure. Why not?
465
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,327
{\an8}You know what?
Bring the drops.
466
00:21:20,328 --> 00:21:22,913
{\an8}Might as well make
it psychedelic.
467
00:21:22,914 --> 00:21:24,456
{\an8}Oh, get your hand...
468
00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:27,585
{\an8}Sting, is that you?
469
00:21:27,635 --> 00:21:32,185
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