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1
00:00:03,109 --> 00:00:06,339
So, Trav asked me if I thought
it was a problem
2
00:00:06,432 --> 00:00:09,072
that all we do on the week-end
is sit around and drink wine.
3
00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:10,179
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wait.
4
00:00:10,305 --> 00:00:12,516
Are we only drinking
on the weekends now?
5
00:00:12,655 --> 00:00:14,581
Because we need to vote on that.
Guys?
6
00:00:14,689 --> 00:00:15,876
(All) No!
7
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,243
Wow. Democracy works.
8
00:00:17,345 --> 00:00:19,538
But still,
maybe we shouldn't just sit
9
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:22,205
with our wine glasses
in our hands, doing nothing.
10
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,167
You know? So...
11
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:28,490
I got us these. Now our hands
are free to do stuff.
12
00:00:28,645 --> 00:00:30,515
But I-I liked holding my glass.
13
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,781
I feel like an animal.
14
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,577
Get it off! Hate it!
15
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,655
- Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Guys, wait. Fine.
16
00:00:35,741 --> 00:00:36,861
What if we think
of these necklaces
17
00:00:36,985 --> 00:00:38,418
as our "on deck circle"?
18
00:00:38,542 --> 00:00:40,799
- Hmm? - That way, we don't
have to get up so much.
19
00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:42,401
I don't like getting up.
20
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,348
Cheers, everyone.
21
00:00:44,484 --> 00:00:45,297
(Glasses clink)
22
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,167
♪
23
00:00:49,747 --> 00:00:51,643
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
24
00:00:53,841 --> 00:00:55,884
(Indistinct conversations)
25
00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:04,118
Wow. That's some pretty serious
PDA for you.
26
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,597
What can I say?
You bring it out in me.
27
00:01:06,624 --> 00:01:07,491
Let me ask you something.
28
00:01:07,584 --> 00:01:09,310
When-- when we first met,
did you, um,
29
00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:11,029
did you see us falling in love?
30
00:01:11,221 --> 00:01:12,768
(Chuckles) No.
31
00:01:14,619 --> 00:01:15,608
Yes.
32
00:01:15,731 --> 00:01:17,160
All I wanna do is
make you happy.
33
00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:18,869
Really? Maybe tonight, you'll--
34
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,222
- It's not about sex, babe.
- Oh.
35
00:01:20,312 --> 00:01:22,115
But I want you to try
to keep listening.
36
00:01:23,061 --> 00:01:24,162
I'll try my best.
37
00:01:24,461 --> 00:01:27,812
Promise me that we'll always
surprise each other.
38
00:01:28,574 --> 00:01:30,055
(Skateboard wheels rattling)
39
00:01:30,169 --> 00:01:31,268
All I really want
40
00:01:31,488 --> 00:01:33,061
is a life...
41
00:01:34,047 --> 00:01:35,420
Full of surprises.
42
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,305
You know what'd be
a huge surprise?
43
00:01:37,418 --> 00:01:39,040
Is if you didn't mess
with these kids right now.
44
00:01:39,135 --> 00:01:40,819
(Chuckles) Right?
Hey, fellas.
45
00:01:41,472 --> 00:01:43,275
I'm trying to talk
to my man here.
46
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,738
So could you take that "thrashi"
down to the park?
47
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:47,961
Pfft.
48
00:01:48,126 --> 00:01:49,842
Pfft!
(Boy) Whatever, lady.
49
00:01:49,945 --> 00:01:50,979
Hey, none of you are
gonna have girlfriends
50
00:01:51,065 --> 00:01:53,118
unless you cut your hair
and take a shower!
51
00:01:54,175 --> 00:01:55,756
That's not true.
When I was younger,
52
00:01:55,855 --> 00:01:58,680
I was crazy about dirty
long-hairs. Now where were we?
53
00:01:58,815 --> 00:01:59,547
Surprises.
54
00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:01,727
Right. Love 'em. Want 'em.
Lock it down.
55
00:02:03,279 --> 00:02:04,330
(Sighs)
56
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,294
Okay, without Laurie
or Bobby here,
57
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:13,205
it's just not as cramped
or stupid or noisy.
58
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:15,716
I'll just say it-- I think
this should be the gang.
59
00:02:15,905 --> 00:02:16,994
Too mean, babe.
60
00:02:17,356 --> 00:02:18,522
I know.
61
00:02:19,243 --> 00:02:21,167
(Whispers)
I think this should be the gang.
62
00:02:21,283 --> 00:02:22,259
I heard that!
63
00:02:22,361 --> 00:02:23,406
(Normal voice) Good.
64
00:02:23,785 --> 00:02:24,717
(Loud clomping)
65
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:29,574
Nothing on two legs
should walk that loud.
66
00:02:29,863 --> 00:02:34,428
It's just hard to walk
with a stupid ankle monitor.
67
00:02:34,524 --> 00:02:36,033
Seriously, Jules,
68
00:02:36,247 --> 00:02:39,349
this is why you shouldn't have
hassled those skateboarders.
69
00:02:39,505 --> 00:02:41,753
Last month, I was in real need
70
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,983
of a spiritual,
soul-cleansing journey,
71
00:02:44,141 --> 00:02:47,121
but of course, I didn't have
enough cash to fly to India.
72
00:02:47,283 --> 00:02:50,054
So I just drove north.
It was total "eat, pray, Tampa."
73
00:02:50,215 --> 00:02:51,365
Anyway,
74
00:02:51,583 --> 00:02:54,986
I let this cute-ish bartender
trade me free drinks...
75
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,088
(Clenched teeth)
For a little action upstairs...
76
00:02:57,251 --> 00:02:58,993
(Normal voice)
And his ex-wife showed up.
77
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,074
I should've minded
my own business, but did I?
78
00:03:01,171 --> 00:03:01,855
Don't care.
79
00:03:01,954 --> 00:03:04,117
Next thing you know,
she is kicking me,
80
00:03:04,228 --> 00:03:05,263
but I have got...
81
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:08,451
This very heel in my hand,
82
00:03:08,544 --> 00:03:10,111
and I am popping her eardrum.
83
00:03:10,216 --> 00:03:12,678
Wa-poom! Wa-poom!
84
00:03:13,076 --> 00:03:14,324
You don't want to go down
that road, honey.
85
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:15,958
Not a huge worry for me.
86
00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:19,461
I knew you would mess
with those skate rats.
87
00:03:19,604 --> 00:03:20,826
Mm-hmm.
(Refrigerator door closes)
88
00:03:20,965 --> 00:03:22,888
You are very predictable.
89
00:03:23,033 --> 00:03:24,153
In what way?
90
00:03:24,248 --> 00:03:25,841
In... every way?
91
00:03:25,943 --> 00:03:27,635
(Laughing) (Laughing)
92
00:03:28,592 --> 00:03:30,695
That's not funny.
93
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,248
Honey, we just know
how you're going to react
94
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:34,954
- in most situations.
- Every situation.
95
00:03:35,053 --> 00:03:36,558
In every situation.
96
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,223
I am not predictable.
97
00:03:38,342 --> 00:03:41,237
(All) I'm not.
I'm not. Ugh.
98
00:03:41,534 --> 00:03:44,814
(All) I'm not. Ooh!
99
00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:49,050
So you're only
gonna be mad at me?
100
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,420
- I am.
(Both) - Yay!
101
00:03:51,568 --> 00:03:53,448
Ellie! Stan punched Rosa!
102
00:03:54,816 --> 00:03:55,636
(Electronic
beeping and whirring)
103
00:03:55,730 --> 00:03:58,971
Stanley Torres, you are
gonna clean up all of these toys
104
00:03:59,065 --> 00:04:01,314
and then go write Rosa
an apology note.
105
00:04:01,506 --> 00:04:02,861
Doubt it.
(Beeps)
106
00:04:03,218 --> 00:04:05,895
Okay, let's go take a nap,
champ.
107
00:04:06,254 --> 00:04:08,192
No! No! No! No!
108
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,829
Oh! Sharp teeth there, pal!
(Grunts) (Mouths words)
109
00:04:11,434 --> 00:04:12,307
No!
(Grunts)
110
00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:14,887
That kid. (Chuckles)
111
00:04:15,553 --> 00:04:17,358
Feisty little fella, isn't he?
112
00:04:17,576 --> 00:04:18,442
No.
113
00:04:18,915 --> 00:04:21,042
That black eye
you had last week--
114
00:04:21,566 --> 00:04:23,132
That was from playing tennis?
115
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,546
Sure. Sure.
(Imitates explosion)
116
00:04:24,968 --> 00:04:26,352
What happened to the couch?
117
00:04:28,825 --> 00:04:30,424
Just say it!
118
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,567
He is a devil baby.
119
00:04:32,662 --> 00:04:34,600
I don't know what happened.
120
00:04:34,736 --> 00:04:36,845
He likes to sneak out
of our house with a hammer
121
00:04:36,954 --> 00:04:40,048
and smash the neighbor's
landscaping lights.
122
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:43,034
Make me feel better.
You always know what to say.
123
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:45,564
Sweetie,
this should be the gang.
124
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:46,951
It totally should.
125
00:04:48,396 --> 00:04:50,056
Hey, buddy boy!
126
00:04:50,215 --> 00:04:51,265
Dad.
127
00:04:51,362 --> 00:04:52,522
(Door closes) To what do I owe
128
00:04:52,622 --> 00:04:55,496
the unannounced,
didn't-call-ahead pleasure?
129
00:04:55,641 --> 00:04:58,736
I just came by to check out
the new college digs.
130
00:04:58,850 --> 00:04:59,773
It's a 2-bedroom house,
131
00:04:59,855 --> 00:05:02,577
but, uh, the rent is super cheap
because nine guys live here.
132
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:05,021
I don't even really know
most of their names.
133
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:06,857
I think there's a Steve.
134
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,824
Yo, Steve!
135
00:05:08,944 --> 00:05:10,442
(Man) - What?!
(Man) - 'Sup, bro?!
136
00:05:10,538 --> 00:05:12,575
- Huh, two Steves.
- What's that?
137
00:05:12,768 --> 00:05:16,361
That is
our homemade green screen.
138
00:05:16,473 --> 00:05:17,525
Nice.
139
00:05:18,019 --> 00:05:19,601
You're okay being a nerd,
right?
140
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:21,100
Oh, yeah. Love it.
141
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,560
Hey, I also came by 'cause
I want to do you a favor.
142
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,419
Now every college house
needs a pet.
143
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,378
Oh. Uh, dad...
144
00:05:27,456 --> 00:05:29,780
I mean, you have a big yard.
There's plenty of people around.
145
00:05:29,891 --> 00:05:31,736
I mean, he's gonna love it.
And, brother,
146
00:05:31,836 --> 00:05:35,292
there's no better panty dropper
than a giant, cuddly horse dog.
147
00:05:35,429 --> 00:05:37,880
Yeah, we use the green screen
to bring in the chicas.
148
00:05:38,026 --> 00:05:39,885
Yeah, I don't see the ladies
149
00:05:39,995 --> 00:05:42,231
getting all weak-kneed
over a green wall.
150
00:05:42,391 --> 00:05:45,230
(Western music playing)
(Clicks tongue)
151
00:05:46,074 --> 00:05:48,328
Whoa, seabiscuit!
152
00:05:48,505 --> 00:05:49,453
(Grunts)
153
00:05:50,028 --> 00:05:51,818
Partner, I stand corrected.
154
00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:53,096
(Gunfire)
155
00:05:53,784 --> 00:05:55,168
(Makes whooshing sound) (Barks)
156
00:05:55,286 --> 00:05:57,102
(Horse whinnies, gunshot)
157
00:05:57,272 --> 00:05:58,322
Man!
(Barks)
158
00:05:58,509 --> 00:06:00,258
(Guitar strumming) (Grayson) ♪
"I'm not predictable," you say ♪
159
00:06:00,488 --> 00:06:02,118
♪ perhaps it's true ♪
160
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,924
♪ but when you wake ♪
161
00:06:04,111 --> 00:06:07,147
♪ here's what you'll do ♪
162
00:06:08,148 --> 00:06:10,057
♪ brush your teeth,
wash your face ♪
163
00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:12,207
♪ check your nose,
just in case ♪
164
00:06:12,314 --> 00:06:14,411
♪ eat your breakfast,
bacon and eggers ♪
165
00:06:14,511 --> 00:06:15,921
♪ take your pill so you don't ♪
166
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,756
(Falsetto voice)
♪ get preggers ♪
167
00:06:17,894 --> 00:06:19,692
(Normal voice) ♪ find your
mouth guard, check your mail ♪
168
00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:21,895
♪ workout time,
if it's late, you bail ♪
169
00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:23,947
♪ where's your mouth guard?
You threw it away ♪
170
00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:27,089
♪ it's all the same...
(Falsetto voice) Every day ♪
171
00:06:27,425 --> 00:06:29,331
(Normal voice) ♪ but we
don't mind, we're glad to wait ♪
172
00:06:29,435 --> 00:06:31,475
♪ 'cause we all know
that right at 8:00 ♪
173
00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:33,596
♪ you'll come downstairs,
then on our knees ♪
174
00:06:33,696 --> 00:06:35,116
♪ all together ♪
175
00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:37,109
(All) Coffee, please.
176
00:06:37,511 --> 00:06:41,705
♪ It's Jules' slightly longer
morning routine song ♪
177
00:06:42,199 --> 00:06:43,314
Yeah!
178
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,256
No singing.
I'm just too cranky.
179
00:06:45,514 --> 00:06:47,239
(Door opens) (Laurie) Jules!
180
00:06:47,744 --> 00:06:49,355
They sharked our car!
181
00:06:49,607 --> 00:06:51,263
Jelly bean, use your words.
182
00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:54,580
Sharked it! Come!
183
00:06:55,757 --> 00:06:56,992
Look, you guys!
184
00:06:57,077 --> 00:06:58,368
(Stammers)
185
00:06:59,449 --> 00:07:01,199
My car got sharked!
186
00:07:01,532 --> 00:07:02,698
Told you!
187
00:07:02,925 --> 00:07:04,273
I bet it was those skate rats.
188
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:06,439
This is so on!
189
00:07:13,562 --> 00:07:14,889
Three waters.
190
00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:17,065
(Under breath) Jerks.
191
00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:18,934
We need to make sure it's them.
192
00:07:19,708 --> 00:07:20,767
Ah-choo!
193
00:07:20,966 --> 00:07:22,000
Whoo!
194
00:07:22,121 --> 00:07:22,822
Oh.
195
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,276
(Sniffles) Oh, sorry.
196
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:26,487
I used to get really embarrassed
when I would sneeze in public.
197
00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:30,100
Now I just put a happy noise
with it, you know, to own it.
198
00:07:30,381 --> 00:07:31,854
Got the idea
from my new shrink.
199
00:07:32,247 --> 00:07:33,412
Oh, honey.
200
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,095
Yeah, he's probably
gonna have to go.
201
00:07:35,244 --> 00:07:36,020
Yeah.
202
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:37,644
(Sneezes) Oh.
203
00:07:37,809 --> 00:07:39,519
- Whoo.
- No.
204
00:07:39,613 --> 00:07:40,819
Jules,
if you get married again,
205
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,262
how do you want
to be proposed to?
206
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:43,867
Tom, I don't know.
207
00:07:44,119 --> 00:07:46,116
Yes, you do.
208
00:07:46,445 --> 00:07:48,021
Okay. I want it to look
something like it was
209
00:07:48,113 --> 00:07:51,074
out of a fairy tale, and I want
everyone I love to be there.
210
00:07:51,193 --> 00:07:53,202
And I wanna do all the talking,
because when it comes to love,
211
00:07:53,323 --> 00:07:55,362
I'm a street-rappin' poet, yo.
(Chuckles)
212
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,021
Wait. Why are you asking me?
213
00:07:57,174 --> 00:07:59,539
Does he wanna know?
214
00:07:59,664 --> 00:08:00,578
Huh? No.
215
00:08:00,716 --> 00:08:03,868
We should hang out more
together, just the two of us.
216
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,178
Raise your hand if you
just built a hot tub.
217
00:08:06,993 --> 00:08:09,783
I'm gonna have to throw
my "too creepy" flag.
218
00:08:09,918 --> 00:08:11,597
- I knew it when I said it.
- Ugh.
219
00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:14,237
You know, I used to think
that Tom was secretly gay.
220
00:08:14,342 --> 00:08:17,626
That's because you think all
single men over the age of 35
221
00:08:17,737 --> 00:08:18,829
are secretly gay.
222
00:08:18,949 --> 00:08:20,857
When we met,
I was over 35 and single.
223
00:08:20,997 --> 00:08:23,008
Did you think...
(Clenches teeth) I was gay?
224
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:24,591
(Chuckles)
225
00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:26,633
Hello.
226
00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:27,759
Jules, they're getting up.
227
00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:31,039
Check for guilt in their eyes.
228
00:08:33,632 --> 00:08:35,323
I think I saw guilt.
Did you?
229
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,988
I don't know. I just got
mesmerized by their greasy hair.
230
00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:39,922
I love it.
231
00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:42,556
- Right? Oh, I wish I was in high school.
(Whispers) - Me, too.
232
00:08:47,626 --> 00:08:49,148
This should be the gang.
233
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,061
What?
234
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:51,418
- Nothing.
- Aw.
235
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:54,541
Poor old Andy and Ellie--
Mostly Ellie--
236
00:08:54,656 --> 00:08:57,728
Afraid of your own son. Oh!
237
00:08:58,028 --> 00:08:59,737
(Laughs) Shh.
238
00:08:59,848 --> 00:09:02,444
(Whispers) We're--
We're not afraid of Stan.
239
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,191
(Whispers) No.
240
00:09:03,282 --> 00:09:04,276
Then why are you whispering?
241
00:09:04,437 --> 00:09:06,376
- It's sexy.
- It's sexy.
242
00:09:06,489 --> 00:09:09,363
Aw! Look at this cute picture
that Stan made.
243
00:09:09,462 --> 00:09:10,351
What is that?
244
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,663
- That's a sunflower.
- A little bunny rabbit.
245
00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:13,721
It's a what?
246
00:09:13,842 --> 00:09:16,693
It's a rabbit-- Sun--
Rabbit flower.
247
00:09:16,788 --> 00:09:20,579
Really? It looks like
a flesh-eating demon.
248
00:09:20,765 --> 00:09:22,366
- I told you.
- Stop it!
249
00:09:22,565 --> 00:09:23,956
Well, if you guys
aren't scared of him,
250
00:09:24,038 --> 00:09:26,973
then you won't mind if I just--
If I take this off.
251
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,843
- No.
- No. Take it.
252
00:09:31,848 --> 00:09:33,633
(Normal voice) - It just needs new tape.
(Normal voice) - Just a little tape.
253
00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:35,753
The tape-- Sometimes it loses
its stickiness. - We love you.
254
00:09:35,852 --> 00:09:37,661
It loses its stickiness, Stan!
255
00:09:39,364 --> 00:09:41,440
Someone is gonna get hit
with a hammer.
256
00:09:44,556 --> 00:09:47,105
I got skater boy's address.
257
00:09:47,203 --> 00:09:50,073
Get ready
for operation "revengeance."
258
00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:52,433
- Not a word.
- Oh, stop being so "precisional."
259
00:09:52,566 --> 00:09:53,628
(Hisses)
260
00:09:54,102 --> 00:09:55,183
We are going to do something
261
00:09:55,315 --> 00:09:59,141
that gorgeous skater boy
will never expect.
262
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:02,901
We are going to TP his house.
263
00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:04,396
- All right!
- Whoop! Whoop!
264
00:10:04,498 --> 00:10:05,581
I called you predictable,
265
00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:09,458
but just when I thought
you were gonna zig, you zig.
266
00:10:09,713 --> 00:10:11,236
You did not see this coming.
267
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:14,021
Really? Why do you think
everyone here wore black?
268
00:10:14,185 --> 00:10:15,492
Everyone, raise your hands.
269
00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:17,265
(Makes whooshing sound)
270
00:10:17,556 --> 00:10:18,689
All right, everybody out.
271
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,704
So you looked in the mirror
and thought that looked good?
272
00:10:21,801 --> 00:10:23,099
Yeah. (Gasps)
(Clatter)
273
00:10:25,397 --> 00:10:26,789
Stan?
274
00:10:27,939 --> 00:10:28,799
Hey, check it out.
275
00:10:28,891 --> 00:10:30,225
I'm gonna keep talking
while he drinks water.
276
00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:32,775
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba,
ba, ba, ba, ba. (Laughs)
277
00:10:33,275 --> 00:10:34,965
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
(Laughs)
278
00:10:35,723 --> 00:10:37,211
This is Sig,
one of my roommates.
279
00:10:37,402 --> 00:10:38,359
Hey, Sig.
280
00:10:38,552 --> 00:10:40,783
That's a pre-shot
computer image. I'm over here.
281
00:10:40,923 --> 00:10:43,067
(Ball clatters)
It's all very confusing.
282
00:10:43,192 --> 00:10:46,888
Dad, I'm sorry, but I just--
I don't need the dog.
283
00:10:46,974 --> 00:10:48,431
I wish you would've
said that right off,
284
00:10:48,539 --> 00:10:50,305
'cause, Trav,
the thing about dog Trav
285
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:52,316
is that he decides
where he lives on his own.
286
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,774
And once he's found a nice spot
and eating a shoe,
287
00:10:54,878 --> 00:10:56,025
he's home.
288
00:10:56,199 --> 00:10:59,052
Sorry, buddy.
Nothin' I can do.
289
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:00,822
Oh, no, no, no.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold on.
290
00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:02,149
Come here. Come here, boy.
291
00:11:02,417 --> 00:11:04,496
(Door squeaks)
Come on. Come on, boy.
292
00:11:04,624 --> 00:11:07,290
Oh, my God!
What are you made of, cement?
293
00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:08,468
(Imitates Southern accent)
And then she was like,
294
00:11:08,579 --> 00:11:11,792
"stay away from my man!"
Poom! Poom! Poom!
295
00:11:11,885 --> 00:11:12,584
You know,
296
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:16,145
he is a handful,
but he's got spirit.
297
00:11:16,267 --> 00:11:17,950
The spirit of the devil.
298
00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:20,887
I am not gonna say another
disparaging thing about Stan.
299
00:11:21,008 --> 00:11:22,080
I love him too much.
300
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:23,754
- I do, too.
- I know.
301
00:11:23,842 --> 00:11:25,099
I just worry about the future,
302
00:11:25,188 --> 00:11:28,532
like, how's he gonna turn out?
Who is he gonna be like?
303
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,354
Hey, Ellie.
Look, I made him
304
00:11:30,438 --> 00:11:33,154
a matching ankle bracelet
out of electrical tape.
305
00:11:33,268 --> 00:11:35,183
(Singsongy) Separated at birth!
306
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:36,230
What, what?
307
00:11:36,361 --> 00:11:37,321
What, what?
308
00:11:37,505 --> 00:11:39,191
What, what? (Laughs)
309
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:40,965
Oh, please, no.
310
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,801
You know, you'd be less mad
311
00:11:45,895 --> 00:11:49,341
just by getting naked,
right here.
312
00:11:51,076 --> 00:11:52,526
No, no, no, no, no.
Not the mouth guard.
313
00:11:52,709 --> 00:11:55,161
Oh, yes.
Once the mouth guard is in,
314
00:11:55,277 --> 00:11:57,337
this store is closed.
315
00:11:57,496 --> 00:11:58,955
One day, I will sleep with you
316
00:11:59,044 --> 00:12:02,444
after you've put that vile thing
in your mouth.
317
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:03,565
It's my Everest.
318
00:12:04,401 --> 00:12:05,838
- Now come here.
- Unh-unh. Stay back.
319
00:12:05,949 --> 00:12:07,224
- Just come--
- I mean it.
320
00:12:07,334 --> 00:12:08,638
- A little bit.
- Oh, it's going in.
321
00:12:08,737 --> 00:12:11,660
Look, why do you care so much
if I think you're predictable?
322
00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:14,174
Because, you dummy,
323
00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:16,099
it's like...
324
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,721
It's like...
325
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,578
You're saying that I'm...
Boring.
326
00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:24,968
But I like boring. That's not
the right thing to say.
327
00:12:25,186 --> 00:12:27,924
And know she grabs her robe
and sleeps down the hall.
328
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,982
You think you know me so well,
don't you?
329
00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:34,011
I do.
330
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,623
(Mouth full) Then turn off
the lights, handsome.
331
00:12:37,808 --> 00:12:39,312
Oh, my God.
It's really happening.
332
00:12:39,696 --> 00:12:40,633
Oh, yeah.
(Laughs)
333
00:12:40,731 --> 00:12:43,758
- Here I come, baby.
- Oh. Please don't make me kiss.
334
00:12:44,189 --> 00:12:45,054
Mmm.
335
00:12:45,346 --> 00:12:46,338
(Groaning)
336
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:53,969
(Whimpers)
337
00:12:54,102 --> 00:12:55,020
(Grunts)
338
00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,101
(Whispers) Tom!
339
00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:00,196
Dad?
340
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:01,632
- No.
- Oh.
341
00:13:01,799 --> 00:13:04,050
You want to do stuff,
just the two of us?
342
00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:05,536
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
343
00:13:05,636 --> 00:13:06,652
Come on. Get up.
344
00:13:07,795 --> 00:13:08,991
You sleep nude!
345
00:13:10,288 --> 00:13:11,719
I'll see you downstairs.
346
00:13:17,724 --> 00:13:20,748
If nerd's the new cool,
why are they all asleep at 9:15?
347
00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:24,607
Who cares?
This is beautiful.
348
00:13:25,191 --> 00:13:28,606
Hey, why all the, uh, games with
getting dog Travis over here?
349
00:13:28,691 --> 00:13:30,291
Why not just ask Travis
to take him?
350
00:13:30,407 --> 00:13:33,788
I guess I can't ask Trav 'cause
I'm scared he's gonna say no.
351
00:13:34,032 --> 00:13:36,207
And I'll think it's because
I've been such a crap father
352
00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:38,883
for so long that he feels
he doesn't owe me anything.
353
00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:41,746
He's not the one keeping
stupid thoughts like that alive.
354
00:13:43,049 --> 00:13:43,909
You are.
355
00:13:44,015 --> 00:13:45,209
Yeah, maybe.
356
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:47,122
Is it weird
that we're doing this
357
00:13:47,204 --> 00:13:48,827
and we can't see ourselves
on the monitor?
358
00:13:48,924 --> 00:13:50,215
Yes.
359
00:13:50,327 --> 00:13:51,681
- Oh! Oh! Don't let go!
- Oh!
360
00:13:51,775 --> 00:13:54,070
- Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh! Oh!
- Come back. Come back. Come back.
361
00:13:56,056 --> 00:13:56,821
(Sighs)
362
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:03,738
I got Stan into his crib.
363
00:14:04,016 --> 00:14:05,950
He's gonna be just like you,
isn't he?
364
00:14:06,099 --> 00:14:07,633
Fingers crossed.
365
00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:10,620
Have your moment.
Tell me what to expect.
366
00:14:10,914 --> 00:14:13,112
Okay. Um...
367
00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:14,936
Well...
368
00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:20,368
If Stan does go down...
My path,
369
00:14:20,906 --> 00:14:25,017
in the near future, there'll be
more... screaming, crying,
370
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,483
anger, breaking stuff,
getting kicked out of preschool,
371
00:14:27,606 --> 00:14:28,601
getting kicked out
of kindergarten,
372
00:14:28,685 --> 00:14:31,134
getting kicked out everywhere,
crashing cars, getting arrested,
373
00:14:31,232 --> 00:14:33,080
piercings, drinking, and sex.
374
00:14:33,255 --> 00:14:33,947
(Inhales deeply)
375
00:14:34,026 --> 00:14:34,714
When he's 13--
376
00:14:34,822 --> 00:14:36,797
Enough. Is this karma?
377
00:14:37,071 --> 00:14:40,113
I mean, I'll admit,
I'm not always the most...
378
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:44,018
Lovely person...
379
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,352
(Laughing)
380
00:14:46,058 --> 00:14:47,415
Are you laughing?
381
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:48,747
Yes.
382
00:14:48,839 --> 00:14:49,984
For shame!
383
00:14:50,094 --> 00:14:51,494
Relax.
384
00:14:51,592 --> 00:14:54,106
You know the main difference
between me and Stan?
385
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,298
I had...
386
00:14:56,325 --> 00:15:00,205
Five different
crappy stepfathers.
387
00:15:00,268 --> 00:15:04,113
Stan's got two amazing parents.
388
00:15:05,046 --> 00:15:06,706
What? Whatever. He does.
389
00:15:07,153 --> 00:15:08,153
(Scoffs)
390
00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:09,919
Look, I think that
391
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,779
if you guys just stay
in the game,
392
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,801
he's gonna be fine.
393
00:15:16,945 --> 00:15:18,349
Thanks.
394
00:15:19,774 --> 00:15:21,970
Of course, some devil babies
are just devil babies.
395
00:15:22,383 --> 00:15:23,492
Sorry.
396
00:15:23,659 --> 00:15:24,637
Had to say it.
397
00:15:24,852 --> 00:15:25,798
I get that.
398
00:15:30,082 --> 00:15:31,132
Jules?
399
00:15:32,177 --> 00:15:33,526
Whatcha doin'?
400
00:15:33,653 --> 00:15:35,631
You can't come.
Uh, it's just the two of us.
401
00:15:35,955 --> 00:15:37,474
- Pfft!
- Get in.
402
00:15:37,575 --> 00:15:39,514
- Yay!
- You just lost shotgun.
403
00:15:39,624 --> 00:15:40,589
Damn it!
404
00:15:43,582 --> 00:15:45,432
(Laughs)
405
00:15:46,907 --> 00:15:48,520
Revengeance is mine!
406
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:49,845
Just get that hedge over there.
407
00:15:49,961 --> 00:15:50,631
I'll get it.
408
00:15:51,813 --> 00:15:53,143
Tom sleeps nude.
409
00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:55,237
Ugh. Why would
you tell me that?
410
00:15:55,352 --> 00:15:56,978
Well, I want it to be
in someone else's head.
411
00:15:57,095 --> 00:15:59,302
- How fun is this?!
- So fun!
412
00:15:59,517 --> 00:16:00,409
(Siren whoops)
413
00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:02,634
(Gasps) - It's the fuzz!
- No.
414
00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:04,091
- Scatter!
- Bye!
415
00:16:04,575 --> 00:16:05,389
(Laughs)
416
00:16:06,594 --> 00:16:07,377
(Jules speaks indistinctly)
417
00:16:07,497 --> 00:16:08,751
I want to come clean.
418
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:10,900
Dog Travis
isn't a chick magnet.
419
00:16:11,058 --> 00:16:14,483
Dad, for me, college will
never be about girls anyway.
420
00:16:14,797 --> 00:16:15,817
So...
(Cans clatter)
421
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,332
Ohh.
422
00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:21,123
Well, you're my son,
and I love you, no matter what.
423
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,271
Wasn't coming out to you.
424
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:24,651
Just meant
that I'm here to learn.
425
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,232
Not gay.
426
00:16:26,597 --> 00:16:28,980
Well, if you were,
I might cry for a minute.
427
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,880
Not because I'd be upset
about it, just because I know
428
00:16:30,976 --> 00:16:32,926
how hard it would be for you
to admit it to me...
429
00:16:33,135 --> 00:16:34,628
And yourself.
430
00:16:35,153 --> 00:16:37,372
It's a little weird how much
thought you've put into it.
431
00:16:37,527 --> 00:16:40,135
Sorry. Your mom thinks everyone
secretly swings that way.
432
00:16:40,246 --> 00:16:41,661
You know how susceptible
my brain is
433
00:16:41,765 --> 00:16:43,085
to other people's thoughts.
434
00:16:43,218 --> 00:16:44,920
I do. But it's late.
435
00:16:45,224 --> 00:16:47,272
You're probably
getting really tired.
436
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,469
(Yawns) You're right. I am.
437
00:16:49,629 --> 00:16:51,678
Anyway, I need to ask you
a question
438
00:16:51,819 --> 00:16:53,759
that I probably should've
asked you yesterday.
439
00:16:53,984 --> 00:16:55,142
(Yawns)
440
00:16:55,811 --> 00:16:57,658
Wait. Both of you
wet your hair first.
441
00:16:57,877 --> 00:16:59,771
(Yawns) Just go with it.
442
00:17:00,421 --> 00:17:01,552
I know this is a lot to ask,
443
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:04,660
but would you please take
dog Travis?
444
00:17:04,825 --> 00:17:06,487
Of course, dad.
445
00:17:07,251 --> 00:17:08,004
Really?
446
00:17:08,471 --> 00:17:09,573
I mean, come on.
447
00:17:10,041 --> 00:17:11,658
After all you've done for me?
448
00:17:13,271 --> 00:17:14,889
Oh, come here. I love you.
449
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,360
I'd pay $12 to see that.
(Giggles)
450
00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:20,394
Right?
451
00:17:20,525 --> 00:17:22,607
Yeah. Ooh!
We gotta go pick up Ellie!
452
00:17:26,181 --> 00:17:27,148
(Whispering) What do you think
your therapist
453
00:17:27,274 --> 00:17:28,531
is gonna think about this?
454
00:17:28,777 --> 00:17:30,811
(Whispering) Who knows?
It's only been a couple months.
455
00:17:30,936 --> 00:17:31,823
I'm still not
comfortable enough
456
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:33,794
to stop lying to him
about everything.
457
00:17:34,147 --> 00:17:35,128
He thinks I'm 35.
458
00:17:35,449 --> 00:17:36,384
No, he doesn't.
459
00:17:37,176 --> 00:17:38,026
(Dog barking in distance)
I'm not sure,
460
00:17:38,156 --> 00:17:40,540
but I think there's a chance
that me getting caught here
461
00:17:40,669 --> 00:17:43,829
with my ankle monitor could be
considered a third strike.
462
00:17:43,968 --> 00:17:45,572
So I'm gonna bolt.
463
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,443
No. No. Don't leave me.
Prison's great!
464
00:17:48,756 --> 00:17:51,416
You can get
those neat teardrop tattoos.
465
00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:53,501
I-I'll create
a diversion for you.
466
00:17:56,228 --> 00:17:57,381
Taser!
(Gasps)
467
00:17:57,526 --> 00:17:59,368
(Electricity crackles)
468
00:17:59,564 --> 00:18:00,843
- Aah!
- God.
469
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,565
(Man) Anybody else out there?
470
00:18:08,145 --> 00:18:08,943
(Sneezes)
471
00:18:09,302 --> 00:18:10,348
Whoo!
472
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:12,959
Uh, all right, look, officer,
473
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:15,040
um, it's a funny story.
474
00:18:15,570 --> 00:18:16,414
(Click)
475
00:18:17,404 --> 00:18:19,388
Really? I'm all ears.
476
00:18:20,037 --> 00:18:20,990
What?
477
00:18:21,751 --> 00:18:22,870
(Ed Sheehan) ♪ one of a kind ♪
478
00:18:22,983 --> 00:18:24,370
- Hey, Jules.
- Hi there.
479
00:18:24,758 --> 00:18:25,903
(Imitates taser buzzing) Aah!
480
00:18:26,208 --> 00:18:27,429
Taser.
481
00:18:28,546 --> 00:18:29,609
What's going on?
482
00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:32,745
Those kids didn't shark
your car. I did.
483
00:18:33,185 --> 00:18:35,396
And I even had Laurie
give you this fake address.
484
00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:36,990
Well, then whose house is this?
485
00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:39,003
It's empty.
It's actually your listing.
486
00:18:39,165 --> 00:18:39,916
(Click)
487
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:45,406
♪ And I will fall for you ♪
488
00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:46,808
(Click) Oh, yeah.
489
00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:48,569
The house shows
really well at night.
490
00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:50,395
I knew you'd come here
and do this.
491
00:18:50,777 --> 00:18:52,398
Oh, so that's
what this is about?
492
00:18:52,718 --> 00:18:54,527
Huh? You just wanted me
to look stupid
493
00:18:54,637 --> 00:18:56,366
so you could laugh at me again?
494
00:18:56,565 --> 00:18:58,087
No, Jules.
495
00:18:58,924 --> 00:19:03,662
I mean, didn't you say that you
wanted a life full of surprises?
496
00:19:04,312 --> 00:19:05,388
And look.
497
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,454
Everyone you love's here.
498
00:19:08,102 --> 00:19:10,182
And isn't this all kind of, uh,
499
00:19:10,381 --> 00:19:12,072
isn't this all
kind of like a fairy tale?
500
00:19:13,733 --> 00:19:16,225
♪ With kisses on cheeks ♪
501
00:19:17,594 --> 00:19:19,266
I mean, when I sent Tom
to you in the bar,
502
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:22,075
isn't that
what you told him you wanted?
503
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:25,920
♪ We're lifted ♪
504
00:19:28,465 --> 00:19:31,132
♪ over the edge ♪
505
00:19:34,156 --> 00:19:36,148
I thought you wanted to do
all the talking.
506
00:19:36,587 --> 00:19:37,455
♪ I will fall for you ♪
507
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:38,454
I'm speechless.
508
00:19:38,628 --> 00:19:40,033
Really? You?
509
00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:42,995
I love you so much.
510
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:46,944
Will you marry me?
511
00:19:48,169 --> 00:19:49,933
Okay, I'm gonna say yes,
512
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:51,024
so don't get nervous.
513
00:19:51,259 --> 00:19:53,590
I just, um...
514
00:19:55,516 --> 00:19:56,808
I want to think
of a way to say it
515
00:19:57,869 --> 00:19:59,771
so you know how happy
you make me.
516
00:20:04,673 --> 00:20:06,362
That was pretty good.
517
00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:14,209
♪ And if I fall for you ♪
518
00:20:15,863 --> 00:20:19,121
♪ would you fall, too? ♪
519
00:20:21,651 --> 00:20:24,970
♪ I will fall for you ♪
520
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:30,765
♪ I will fall for you ♪
521
00:20:31,303 --> 00:20:32,773
I'm not boring, am I?
522
00:20:33,714 --> 00:20:34,622
No.
523
00:20:35,284 --> 00:20:36,773
You're a crazy person.
524
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,485
♪ Would you fall, too? ♪
525
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,394
(All cheering)
526
00:20:45,628 --> 00:20:47,274
♪ Would you fall, too? ♪
527
00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:49,137
(Jules) You are good!
528
00:20:49,975 --> 00:20:50,496
(Laurie) I know.
529
00:20:50,654 --> 00:20:52,216
♪ Would you fall, too? ♪
530
00:20:52,888 --> 00:20:53,752
Whoo!
531
00:20:54,864 --> 00:20:55,576
(Ellie) Oh!
532
00:20:57,889 --> 00:20:59,009
Okay. Fan.
533
00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:02,134
Nice. Mountaintop.
534
00:21:02,283 --> 00:21:03,038
(Taps key)
535
00:21:04,866 --> 00:21:06,466
Okay, this is
for our grandkids.
536
00:21:06,553 --> 00:21:07,812
So when you propose to me
this time,
537
00:21:07,901 --> 00:21:10,670
please, try to squeeze out
a tear. Okay.
538
00:21:11,593 --> 00:21:12,564
Action!
539
00:21:15,588 --> 00:21:17,324
(Dramatic voice)
My dearest Jules.
540
00:21:18,066 --> 00:21:19,654
Yes, my love!
541
00:21:20,064 --> 00:21:21,935
Dude, how often is
your mom gonna come over?
542
00:21:22,094 --> 00:21:24,720
Probably more than I'd like.
(Groans)
543
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,007
Damn it.
544
00:21:26,531 --> 00:21:30,553
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
38047
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