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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:04,920 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:08,090 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,760 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:14,513 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,016 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:21,562 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,063 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,481 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:30,029 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:31,123 --> 00:00:36,033 For subtitling services, contatct: waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com 11 00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,578 Ugh! This sucks, Mom. 12 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,371 We really have to spend the whole day 13 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,581 cleaning out the garage? 14 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,249 Yeah, come on, Lois. 15 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,835 You know I have plans today to go see Pervert Hamlet. 16 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:45,878 To be... 17 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,005 with this skull sexually, 18 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,965 or not to be... 19 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,050 with this skull sexually. 20 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,386 That is the question... 21 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:58,015 I answered when I was with this skull sexually 22 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,393 a little while ago. 23 00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:04,646 Huh. All these spray paint cans are empty. 24 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,857 What? Really? 25 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,942 H-How could such a thing 26 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,945 have come to pass? 27 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,948 Screw this. Quick, before your mother gets back, 28 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,200 everything in the garbage. 29 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,702 We're throwing all this stuff out. 30 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,292 Wait. You're throwing away Stewie's Big Wheel? 31 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,085 Relax. It's not even his. 32 00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:29,464 I took it from a front lawn after a rain storm. 33 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:36,930 I thought they'd never leave, Factory Red. 34 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,267 So, I guess Thanos got the Mind Stone. 35 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,144 Wow. So now he's got all of 'em. 36 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,230 - I guess so. - What does that mean for us? 37 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,273 I have no idea. 38 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,360 I knew it was gonna be us. 39 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:55,572 Oh, my God. There's a hot woman over at the bar. 40 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,116 You know, I never forget the back of a head. 41 00:01:58,117 --> 00:02:00,828 I don't think we've met. I'm Glenn Quagmire. 42 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,830 I'm sure that kind of thing works great 43 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,332 for the younger crowd, but I'm 44. 44 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,793 44? Oh-ho, why am I trying so hard? 45 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,461 Come on, let's get out of here. 46 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,715 Look, I'm not some bimbo who falls for tired pickup lines. 47 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,009 Wow. That was painful. 48 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,929 Like that time I passed a kidney Stone Phillips. 49 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,430 Oh! 50 00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,099 Aah! Aah! 51 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,979 Or was it... murder? 52 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,275 - Hey, Doug. - Hey, Stewie. 53 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,151 Taking the Big Wheel out for a spin? 54 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:34,486 Yep. Where are you headed? 55 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,613 Oh, I was just gonna drive through some puddles 56 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,365 and see how long my tracks stay wet. 57 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:41,285 The record is seven sidewalk squares, by yours truly. 58 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,995 Allegedly. 59 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,998 Okay, get out of here, you nut. 60 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,378 What the deuce? Where is it? 61 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:01,346 Boy, I tell ya, no better way to start your day 62 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,265 than a morning dump in a neighbor's yard. 63 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,808 Come on, Brian! 64 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,936 It was a soft steamer, almost impossible to pick up. 65 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,855 Brian, have you seen my Big Wheel? 66 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,273 I can't find it anywhere! 67 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,524 What? No. Did you look...? 68 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,942 Oh, wait a minute. 69 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:16,028 Peter threw out a bunch of stuff from the garage yesterday. 70 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,613 Maybe it was in there. 71 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:21,200 Threw it out? But today is our trash pick up day! 72 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,244 We're too late! 73 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,121 I've got to get that Big Wheel back. 74 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,956 Will you drive me to the town dump? 75 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,626 Really? Can't we just maybe buy you a new one? 76 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,461 No, Brian. It has to be that Big Wheel. 77 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,463 It's very special to me. 78 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,256 I lost my V-card on that thing. 79 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,799 You what? 80 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,594 Yep, went over a speed bump really fast and broke my hymen. 81 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,220 Stewie, you don't have a hymen. 82 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:44,097 - Yeah, not anymore. - No, you're a boy. 83 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,725 I have to correct you there, Brian. I'm a man. 84 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,393 'Cause, you know... broken hymen. 85 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,312 Boys don't have hymens! 86 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,856 Okay, then I may have just ripped my taint. 87 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,109 Either way, I love that bike! 88 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,406 Hi. Can you help us? 89 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,283 We're trying to locate a lost Big Wh... 90 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,826 My God, 91 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:06,828 there's just so... 92 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,997 much... garbage. 93 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,503 Yes, we are in search of a Big Wheel 94 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,089 that was erroneously discarded and collected today. 95 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,759 Oh, then it probably came in with the morning load. 96 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,178 Sorry. That term always makes me blush. 97 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:26,348 But if it just came in, that's bad news. 98 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,725 Usually the newest, top layer of trash 99 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,853 just blows right into the ocean. 100 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:38,026 Yeah, I'm afraid your Big Wheel may be gones for good. 101 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,362 Dear God, this is horrible! 102 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,407 I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! 103 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,994 Phew. Ooh, something smells good in this box. 104 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,664 I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! 105 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:57,170 Damn it. Monica's not responding to any of my texts. 106 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,756 You're still tryin' to bang that 44-year-old? 107 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:01,258 - What are you sending her? - Mostly porn. 108 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,592 Just shots of rods. 109 00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,845 All angles. Up, down, left, right. 110 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,806 Lois, maybe you could help me ask out this woman I met. 111 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,182 She's close to your age. 112 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,226 But she won't respond to any of my texts. 113 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,561 Oh, well, that's easy. 114 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,398 Just ask her if she's all caught up on This Is Us. 115 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:21,069 She says, "I'm one behind, so no spoilers. 116 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:24,698 Hysterical laughing face, hysterical laughing face." 117 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,241 How-how is that funny? 118 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,701 It's not, but you're in. 119 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,078 Great. This is exactly the stuff I need to know. 120 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,248 Lois, will you teach me the ways of the middle-aged woman? 121 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,542 All right. I'm a sucker for romance. 122 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:38,378 Thanks, Lois. This could open up a whole new world for me. 123 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,505 Like one of those kids who gets a device 124 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:43,009 that allows them to hear for the first time. 125 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,927 Billy, can you hear? 126 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,345 Yes! 127 00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:49,598 Amazing! This is amazing. 128 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,059 Your mom and I are going to get a divorce. 129 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,560 I'm in love with someone else, 130 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:56,355 and I didn't want to say it with the silly hands. 131 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,111 Brian, I've been doing research on my Big Wheel. 132 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,821 If it ended up in the ocean, 133 00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,282 it most likely has traveled to Garbage Island. 134 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,992 What's Garbage Island? 135 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,828 The other name for the North Atlantic Garbage Patch, 136 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,538 an enormous cluster of man-made debris 137 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,457 floating in the middle of the ocean. 138 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,459 This is terrible. We got to raise awareness, 139 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,294 - let people know about it. - I agree. 140 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,631 It's like a giant garbage whirlpool. 141 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,592 Brian? 142 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,594 You heard me. 143 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,930 Anyway, I'm heading there to find my Big Wheel. 144 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,264 Perhaps you'll come with me. 145 00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:32,808 Boating to an island of garbage? 146 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,102 I'm in. Maybe Peter will come, too. 147 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,229 Hey, Peter, want to go on a boat ride? 148 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,774 Oh, uh, I can't be in stories for a couple of episodes. 149 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,111 I'm real-life pregnant. 150 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,196 Oh, my God. I had no idea. 151 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,405 I know! 152 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,992 Anyway, Mama's got to get off her feet. 153 00:06:57,291 --> 00:07:00,710 All right, time to retrieve my Big Wheel from Garbage Island. 154 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,879 Let's do it. 155 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,132 Hey, how'd you get the money to rent this boat anyway? 156 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,468 Oh, I got a part-time job at Target. 157 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,225 Okay, technically, I work at the weird, in-store Pizza Hut. 158 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,144 The Target In-Store Pizza Hut. 159 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:21,023 Feed it to your fat kid while you buy off-brand tennis shoes. 160 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,028 Now, Glenn, I'm gonna help you get into the mind 161 00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:28,446 of a middle-aged woman. 162 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:31,491 Step one: we all go friggin' nuts over Yankee Candles, 163 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:34,703 so to help you learn all the flavors, I made a little quiz. 164 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,038 I'm gonna give you a name, and you tell me 165 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,791 if it's the name of a Yankee Candle or a porn star. 166 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,043 - Okay. - Black Coconut. 167 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,295 Porn star? 168 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,131 No, that's a candle. Amber Gold. 169 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,592 - Candle? - That is a candle. 170 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,594 April Showers. 171 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,596 Um... both? 172 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:56,808 Very good. I tried to trick you there, but you got it. Both. 173 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,476 Okay, okay, I'm writing this all down. 174 00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:01,605 But, Lois, Monica agreed to have dinner with me tomorrow. 175 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:02,731 That's great! 176 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,024 I suppose. 177 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,401 But I don't think I can pull it off by myself. 178 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,944 Will you come and just be nearby 179 00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,946 to give me tips and help me get through it? 180 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:12,157 Fine, but I'll have to rearrange my schedule. 181 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,451 Friday nights are when Peter and I do edibles 182 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,120 and go to the aquarium. 183 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,499 This is awesome. 184 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,044 Peter, I'm freaking out. 185 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,756 Yeah, don't-don't... don't ruin it for me. 186 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:40,060 Okay, I spy something blue. 187 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,729 Uh... the ocean? 188 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,231 Nope. 189 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,565 The sky? 190 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,192 Hey, you got it in two, bud. 191 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,443 That ties the record. 192 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,653 Stewie, I'm starting to wonder 193 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,696 if we didn't think this all the way through. 194 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,114 No, it's fine. 195 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,284 It'll all be worth it once we get to Garbage Island. 196 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,203 Not a lot of wind today. 197 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,788 No. 198 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,581 Hey, what causes wind? 199 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,833 Well, if my reading material has taught me anything, 200 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,254 it's just a cloud with lips. 201 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,340 Blustery... 202 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,133 is a good word. 203 00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,593 Uh-huh. 204 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,013 Mm... Moana. 205 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,599 Mm. 206 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,936 I never saw Moana. 207 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,856 You never saw Moana? 208 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,341 Your blowout looks nice. 209 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:54,759 Oh, thanks. 210 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,388 So, um, I noticed a yoga mat in the back of your car. 211 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,850 How often do you do yoga? 212 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,363 - Is everything all right? - Hmm? 213 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,740 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. 214 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,576 My, um... my-my dad locked himself out of his car. 215 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,619 Oh, sorry. Do you need to help him? 216 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,496 Um, no, uh, no. He, um, he broke, uh... 217 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:24,831 broke the window with his foot. 218 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:27,083 High heel. My dad's a woman now. 219 00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:29,628 Oh. 220 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,219 You're lucky we came here. 221 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,013 I almost suggested Mickey D's. 222 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,640 Oh, my God. 223 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,017 That's so informal. 224 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,685 Are you talking about McDonald's? 225 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,437 Yeah, yeah! 226 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,522 Another thing I was just thinking about is... 227 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,483 "AMBER Alert, white Honda Accord, 228 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,276 license plate..." Uh, uh, I mean, 229 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,112 Pinterest sure has some neat pictures of sinks. 230 00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,697 Doesn't it? 231 00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,824 Listen, what if we just bail on dinner 232 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,701 and head back to my place? 233 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:02,912 Great! I'm in. 234 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,418 Wait! You have to pay for the bread. 235 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,004 Hey! 236 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,383 You have to pay for the bread! 237 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,927 You have to pay for the bread! 238 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,262 You have to pay for the bread! 239 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,514 The bread! 240 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,058 You have to pay 241 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,726 for the bread! 242 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,364 Moana? 243 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,701 Oh, my God. Brian. 244 00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,079 Look! 245 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,875 We made it! 246 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,961 We made it to Garbage Island! 247 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,255 My God, I don't believe it. 248 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,715 Whoa, look at all the packaging from Mickey D's. 249 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,717 What? Oh, my God, I've never heard that. 250 00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:02,262 "Mickey D's." That is just great. 251 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,431 Anyway, let's start looking for my Big Wheel. 252 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,058 Hey, check it out, a VCR just sitting here. 253 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,102 I'm taking this sucker home. 254 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,443 Oh, crap. 255 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,861 Brian, you idiot. 256 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,779 Now how the hell are we supposed to get back to land? 257 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,448 We're both going to die. 258 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,492 Oh, look, a message in a bottle is washing up. 259 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,829 Maybe this'll help. 260 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,956 Dear England: Enclosed, 261 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:33,501 please find one bottle fart in exchange for Russell Brand. 262 00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,879 We feel this is appropriate compensation. 263 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,131 Yours, et cetera, America. 264 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,893 Damn it, Brian! How could you sink our boat? 265 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,227 We're going to die! 266 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,645 You guys need any help? 267 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:54,856 - Aah! - Aah! Who the hell are you? 268 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,316 Name's Taylor. 'Sup? 269 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,650 How the hell did you get here? 270 00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:58,651 Oh, I, uh... 271 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:00,528 I-I fell off a booze cruise. 272 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,031 - You what? - Yep, washed up here. 273 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,159 Matter of fact, we all did. 274 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,497 How are you all planning to get back home? 275 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,874 Get back home? Why would we want to do that? 276 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,627 Yeah, we've got everything we need here. 277 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,713 There's tons of free, half-eaten food that washes up. 278 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:21,341 And we just bang each other all day. 279 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,967 That, uh... 280 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,178 that doesn't sound terrible. 281 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,931 Hey, so, we've been stuck out here for over 20 years. 282 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,724 Can you catch us up on all the important things 283 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:30,893 that we've missed? 284 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,690 So, no way! 285 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,026 Kylie Jenner and Tyga are no longer together? 286 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,528 Splitsville, my friend. 287 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,821 How did Robert Kardashian die? 288 00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:44,822 Guilt cancer. 289 00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:45,949 From what? 290 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,493 Oh, boy. 291 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,291 So people thought the dancing Judge Itos were funny? 292 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,334 For a while, yes. 293 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,877 Is Leno still doing it? 294 00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,462 No, he's not hosting anymore. 295 00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:01,631 Oh, so Conan got The Tonight Show? 296 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,259 Oh, come o... 297 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,890 A-And so what about Craig Kilborn? Is he still on? 298 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,225 I'm actually right here. 299 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,603 Oh, right. Hey, Craig. 300 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,110 Oh, hi, Glenn. 301 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,695 I haven't seen you in a while. 302 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,154 H-How are things with Monica? 303 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,447 Who? 304 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,200 Monica, y-your hot date from the other night. 305 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,785 Oh, yeah. I plowed her. Thanks again. 306 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,954 But-but I thought she was the one. 307 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,205 Yeah, no, what I realized is 308 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,707 that all those texts you sent me, 309 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,125 they're like my bible now. 310 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,627 I just keep using these same tips on different women. 311 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,129 I owe you, Lois. 312 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,257 You've opened up a whole world of middle-aged legs to me. 313 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:49,429 Oh, my God. Quagmire's terrorizing middle-aged women, 314 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,347 and I'm responsible for it. 315 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,726 I've created a monster. 316 00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:00,898 Oh, no! My Luna Bar for women. 317 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,616 ♪ ♪ 318 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,455 Please call the DWP. 319 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,998 I'm stuck in here. 320 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,001 ♪ ♪ 321 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,341 Hey, what day is it? 322 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:27,800 Trash day. 323 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,472 Brian, look, I found my Big Wheel. 324 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,766 - Cool. - It's more than cool, Brian. 325 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,185 I believe the Big Wheel may actually be our ticket 326 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,353 off the island. 327 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,687 You see, I've calculated that, 328 00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:41,064 even with both of our weights, 329 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,940 it will still be capable of flotation. 330 00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,400 My plan is to attach 331 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,736 six Jimmy Buffett margarita machines to it, 332 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:49,030 which should be able to propel us home. 333 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,491 Home? I don't think I want to go home. 334 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,493 What? What are you talking about? 335 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,828 I'm saying I like it here on Garbage Island. 336 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,664 O-Okay, I-I don't think I can talk to you, 337 00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,207 because, right now, you're making less sense 338 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,584 than an M.C. Escher floor plan. 339 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,045 So, how's it coming? 340 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,922 Are we gonna finish on schedule? 341 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,173 I don't know, Mr. Escher. 342 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:09,509 I've never put six stairways all in one spot. 343 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,469 And I've lost, like, ten of my guys in here. 344 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,639 Hey, I need a hammer! 345 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,516 I hate this place! 346 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,060 I quit! 347 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,069 Uh, 'scuse me, I'm-I'm looking for anything by... 348 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,404 Mike "Bubble"? 349 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,406 It's "Bublé," you idiot! 350 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,032 Oh, hey, Lo... Ow! 351 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,534 That feels great! 352 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,203 Glenn Quagmire, I tried to help you meet a nice woman, 353 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,414 but you just couldn't help yourself, could you? 354 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,748 What are you talking about? 355 00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,667 I thought I was helping you find love, 356 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,585 and, instead, you used me as a tool 357 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:47,422 to get down every middle-aged woman's pants in town. 358 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,257 Slacks, Lois. They call them slacks. 359 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,884 You wouldn't know that if it wasn't for me! 360 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,428 You're right. 361 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,139 You were kind to me, and I took advantage of it. 362 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,307 I owe you an apology. 363 00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:00,393 Well, thank you. 364 00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,769 Here, let me make it up to you. 365 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,896 I'll buy you a coffee, and... 366 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,982 do you like the music of Ray... 367 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,316 "LaMountain"? 368 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:08,651 "LaMontagne." 369 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,486 Thank you. Hey, beautiful, 370 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,655 you want to take a pointless girl-stride walk 371 00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,699 and listen to Ray LaMontagne? 372 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,159 - Sure. - Great. 373 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,245 See ya, Lois. 374 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,540 Last chance, Brian. 375 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,709 You're really not coming with me? 376 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,252 I'm sorry, Stewie. I'm not. 377 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,920 I know it's weird to say, but... 378 00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,423 it's kind of just too perfect for me here. 379 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,591 I see. 380 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,092 Well, I should go. 381 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:35,595 Fort Lauderdale Tanya found a four-piece puzzle 382 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,721 she's been struggling with. 383 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,598 Where does the cow go? 384 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,308 It's all corners, babe. 385 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,851 I have to say, 386 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,979 I never imagined saying goodbye to you, Brian. 387 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,106 So long take very good care 388 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,859 dear friend of mine farewell. 389 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,068 That's odd phrasing. 390 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:52,945 Sorry, it's been hard to think straight. 391 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,322 From the moment we arrived, 392 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,865 I've either been drunk or ejaculating. 393 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:58,493 These are things you don't say to a baby. 394 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,495 Goodbye, Brian. 395 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,497 Goodbye, Stewie. 396 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,500 ♪ ♪ 397 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:29,398 ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my lady ♪ 398 00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:33,027 ♪ In the sun with your hair undone ♪ 399 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,737 ♪ Can you hear me now ♪ 400 00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:39,201 ♪ Callin' your name from across the bay? ♪ 401 00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:44,497 ♪ A summer's day laughin' and a-hidin' ♪ 402 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:49,669 ♪ Chasin' love out on Thunder Island ♪ 403 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,004 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 404 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,006 ♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪ 405 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,052 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 406 00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:01,013 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 407 00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,099 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 408 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,059 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 409 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:09,565 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 410 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,114 Stewie, what the hell's going on? 411 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,574 We're back in Quahog? 412 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,742 - We are, Brian. - Why? What happened? 413 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:24,287 You're an enormously important part of my life, Brian, 414 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,330 and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. 415 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,708 I assumed it unlikely you'd change your mind, 416 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,627 so I added the fans from many, many Dell laptops 417 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:32,962 to the back of my Big Wheel 418 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,464 so I could simply tow everyone back to land. 419 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,465 Wow. 420 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:37,675 Thank you. 421 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,594 That means a lot to me. 422 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,721 Well, our journey taught me something, Brian. 423 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,640 You can throw away just about anything in this world, 424 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:47,184 but you can't throw away a friendship. 425 00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,270 No, you can't, Stewie. 426 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,397 Cool if I say goodbye to the garbage? 427 00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:54,609 You do what you got to do, you gross dog. 428 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,028 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 429 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,197 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 430 00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:02,074 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 431 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,285 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 432 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:08,332 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do. ♪ 433 00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:15,463 ♪ Sweet sunshine ♪ 434 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,758 ♪ So, sha-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 435 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,259 ♪ My lady ♪ 436 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:23,679 ♪ In the sun with your dress undone ♪ 437 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,598 ♪ Now every mile aw... ♪ 438 00:20:43,298 --> 00:20:46,217 Sausage and pepperoni for Alan? 439 00:20:46,219 --> 00:20:47,469 Alan? 440 00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:50,472 God, that smells good, doesn't it? 441 00:20:50,473 --> 00:20:51,890 - Alan? - Yeah. 442 00:20:51,891 --> 00:20:54,351 But, actually, I ordered just pepperoni. 443 00:20:54,352 --> 00:20:57,480 Can I see your receipt? 444 00:21:34,601 --> 00:21:36,519 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 31728

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