Original subtitles

[MEN GRUNTING]

[CRASHING]

This is the Big Man's turf.

It was Silvermane's first,

and he's taking it back.

[THOUGHTS] Ugh, I just wanted flowers

for my date with Liz tonight.

I-It's like the bad guys know when I'm in a hurry.

[

]

Ugh, city's a powder keg

with Tombstone, Silvermane and even Doc Ock

each vying to turn New York

into his own personal criminal empire.

[GRUNTS] Liz's flowers.

[GROANS]

Maybe Tombie would write me a note.

["SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN" THEME PLAYING]

Living on the edge Fighting crime spinning webs

Swinging from The highest ledge

He can leap above our heads

Ah-ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Villains on the rise And the city's victimized

Looking up with no surprise Arriving in the speed of time

Ah-ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular...

[

]

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

[CAR HORN HONKING]

[SIGHS]

Hey, Harr. Aah.

Pete, ninja much?

Heh, sorry.

Where's Gwen?

Ah, M.J. insisted on bringing her.

Gentlemen, may I present

Gwen Stacy.

[

]

Hi.

Wow, babe, you look great.

Gwen, you look

like an angel.

Thanks, Peter.

That was sweet.

Michael, don't run!

Uh, um, but, Joan, honeybunch, darling,

it-it's not too late to catch the Knicks. Why--?

Because it's Valentine's Day,

and you're giving me romantic or else...

What's so romantic about a bunch of yodeling yokels?

What's that, dear? Nothing, sweetums, heh.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BALLAD OPERA MUSIC]

Dr. Octopus, I presume.

Indeed.

But where is our third party?

SILVIO: Silvio Manfredi has arrived.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BALLAD OPERA]

We can begin.

See, boss,

it's good you brung me.

You need me watching your back.

Just don't give me or my back

cause to regret your inclusion.

To the Valentine's Day Massa-- Uh, Summit.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]

Wow, uh, everything looks great.

And it's free.

Helps to be the owner's daughter.

Wow, what a surprise.

Romantic minds think alike, eh?

Why don't all us homeys sit together.

Unh, you expect us

to sit with them? I don't think--

Please, Sal. Stay.

Ugh, fine.

Scoot over.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Don't touch me. Sorry. So sorry.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING SLOW BALLAD OPERA MUSIC]

Patch? What are you--?

Uh, I-I needed the scratch.

Fine. But stay inconspicuous.

Sure, sure.

Uh, sir, someone left this for you.

Oops! Clumsy me.

Yo, Parker,

help me pick this up, amigo.

Okay, Parker, here's the deal.

You need to make sure I don't say nothing

to make Sha Shan think I'm stupid.

Uh, dude. Ship. Sailed.

Shut up.

She likes smartness.

That and, like, integrity and stuff.

So If I say something dumb,

you kick me or something.

For you, pal, anytime.

Weren't you picking up the silverware?

Why? You wanna eat off dirty forks--?

Ow!

[MAN SINGING BALLAD OPERA]

Look, Big Man,

here's the bottom line.

The Manfredi Family's ruled New York for decades.

You are not taking what is mine.

You old school types always make things personal.

But a criminal empire should be run like a business.

Not a business, a science.

You both think so small,

fighting over scraps like rats.

Given such confidence, Doctor,

I wonder why you bothered calling this summit.

I-I-I didn't call it. This relic did.

What's the game here?

You called the summit yourself, Tombstone.

Bet we could settle this easy.

Oh, yeah?

How would that go?

Sable.

[GRUNTING]

Treachery!

Your plan worked, Boss. Take them.

What? Huh?

[GRUNTS]

Will you stop squirming?

[GRUNTS]

It's this fershlugginer seat.

[GROANS]

It's built for hamsters.

Zip it. People are trying to hear.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BALLAD OPERA MUSIC]

You and I will have words.

[GROANS]

[SILVERMANE GRUNTING]

Now, we make this personal.

All goes well, them three mooks take each other out,

and Hammerhead's the new Big Man.

Mm.

Wonder who I got to thank for them poesies.

Come on, come on.

Oh, hello, Robbie.

Yo, Osborn.

Nice remodel on Gwe--

Ow!

So you two enjoying your un-date?

Undoubtedly. Undoubtedly.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Robbie?

Uh, look, I'm sorry, but I'm on a--

Wait, who's fighting?

Right. On my way.

Petey, it's Valentine's Day.

Doesn't the Bugle have any other photographers.

Not for this assignment.

Parker, what are you doing?

Sorry, Flash, you're on your own.

Liz, I'll try to come back soon.

Sorry, Gwen.

[MAN SINGING BALLAD OPERA]

[JAMESON SNORING]

[MUMBLES]

What's that? Shh.

Oh, uh, sorry, sorry, picklepuss.

Uh, I got to investigate.

Could be news. Oh.

We were all betrayed by Hammerhead.

Hammerhead is a stooge.

He doesn't blink without orders.

Indeed, your denial lacks sincerity.

[GRUNTS]

[CRASH]

Whoa.

Whoa.

And I thought I was just making an excuse.

[CLICKING]

[SILVERMANE AND TOMBSTONE GRUNT]

Et tu, Octopus?

Heh, what can I say?

An opportunity is an opportunity, Silvermane.

SPIDER-MAN: Oh, so that's Silvermane.

Wow. Three-way battle to declare New York's biggest jerk.

Where do I start?

Perhaps with your demise, Arachnid.

[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS]

Hey, picklepuss. Unh--

This is heavier than it looks, so...

Oh, don't look, but move, kids.

Can't trust that blasted Web-Head to save us.

Oh, real nice.

Ah, man.

[OCK GRUNTS]

[OCK SCREAMS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[POLICE SIREN BLARING]

[CROWD SCREAMING AND CHATTERING]

Cordon off the area.

Priority one is protecting civilians.

Call me a relic...

Call Blackie Gaxton.

GAXTON: Gaxton.

[LINE SCREECHES] Ow!

Hey, ha, ha, Blackie.

HARRY: I just don't get Pete.

What kind of guy abandons his girl on Valentine's?

That's not fair, Harry.

You know he needs the Bugle to help his Aunt.

How are your snails?

When you told me to try the escargot,

I thought you'd escar-went, but--

[THUD] Ow!

What was that for?

I don't know. But Parker was doing it,

and it looked like fun.

[LAUGHS]

A romantic rose for your lady?

I'll take your whole basket.

Ha,ha. Thank you. Wow.

Now he knows how to treat a lady.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BALLAD OPERA MUSIC]

[SILVERMANE GRUNTING]

So this is the Spider-Man

that's given Tombstone and Octopus so much trouble.

As yet, I'm unimpressed.

You haven't seen me juggle bowling balls

while drinking water.

I gotta start making that stuff stronger.

[TOMBSTONE AND OCK GRUNTING]

Octopus calling Kraven. Do you read?

[LINE SCREECHES]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

They are so not making old folks like they used to.

[GRUNTS]

Excellent, May. You're fit as a fiddle.

That's what I keep telling Peter.

It's sweet of you to make this house call

so I can give him the official word.

Oh, my pleasure.

But I'm surprised

you're home alone on Valentine's Day.

Oh, ha, ha, well, what would I be doing?

MAY: And Peter's hanging with his friends.

You will pay the price

for your constant interference, Arachnid.

I'm kind of broke.

How about you pay tonight, and I'll owe you one?

[GRUNTING]

Two of my biggest enemies and this Jurassic Jerk

are taking each other out,

and I'm trying to stop them, why?

[CROWD SCREAMING]

Oh, right. Public safety.

Robbie? Robbie?

[LINE SCREECHES]

Confounded static. Robbie?

[GRUNTS]

This is the cause of our troubles.

We can rule Manhattan together

or divide it at our leisure

as soon as we dispose of this pest.

[GRUNTS]

Please tell me the fat lady's not singing.

[SINGING BALLAD OPERA]

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BALLAD OPERA MUSIC]

Hold him still.

And I'll finish what the both of you--

[SILVERMANE GRUNTS]

Stop, fool. Let go.

Thanks, Tombie.

Just don't expect roses.

Best field trip ever.

Sorry, Doctor. Too many witnesses.

L. Thompson Lincoln

can't be seen collaborating

with super villains and gangsters.

Then L. Thompson Lincoln is weak.

[TOMBSTONE AND SPIDER-MAN GRUNTING]

You're all weak.

I'm confused.

Did you wanna fight or dance?

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]

If your knee is bothering you,

we can just talk.

No, we'll dance. We'll dance.

Flash, stop.

You don't have to be afraid

to open your mouth around me.

I like you for who you are.

an honest guy, who stands up for what's right.

Then dance with me.

Because honestly,

I can't think of anything I'd rather do.

Heh, come on, Sis,

dance with us.

And be a third wheel

on the most romantic night of the year?

Romantic? Please.

It's a commercial holiday

created by florists and greeting card companies.

Nothing romantic about it.

Yes. Yes, I will.

[LAUGHS]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

Okay, maybe a little romantic.

[GRUNTING]

Can't see!

But I don't need my sight to finish this.

Oh, great. A hood with focus.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

That sound.

Hydraulic servos are powering this armor.

No hydraulics, no power.

[GASPS THEN GRUNTS]

No. No.

This cannot happen to Silvio Manfredi.

Sable, Sable, do you read me?

[LINE SCREECHES]

Sable to Silvermane. Daddy, do you copy?

[LINE SCREECHES]

Spill, Hamster.

How have you blocked our com?

Blocked your com?

Uh, well, wouldn't you like to know?

Don't you turn your back on me.

My father--

Daddy's out of the picture, princess.

So be nice.

Oh, I know it's not sporting,

but who am I to balk at playing the scavenger?

The law of the jungle prevails.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BALLAD OPERA MUSIC]

SPIDER-MAN: Newsflash, Doc.

Not a lot of octopi in the jungle.

Heh, don't go anywhere.

[BOTH GRUNT]

[SPIDER-MAN CLEARS THROAT]

[GRUNTING]

[GROWLING]

[SINGING BALLAD OPERA]

[GROANING]

[GASPS] [GRUNTING]

[SPIDERMAN GRUNTING]

No witnesses down here.

[GRUNTING]

I assume you remember our last physical encounter.

Painfully.

But I told you then. I don't look the other way.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

[POLICE SIREN BLARING]

[GRUNTS]

SPIDER-MAN: Captain George Stacy,

meet L. Thompson Lincoln,

alias Tombstone,

alias the Big Man of crime.

Mr. Lincoln, you're under arrest.

JAMESON: Confound it, Stacy,

I'll give you six seconds to arrest Spider-Man

for assaulting this upstanding citizen.

Everyone here saw Lincoln save that ungrateful Web-Head's life.

Boss. J.J.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

What? What?

[GROWLS]

Never mind.

Jonah Jameson, you abandoned me.

Joan, if I'm not elsewhere in 0.2 seconds,

I'm stroking out.

You're fired.

Expect your severance package soon.

Thanks.

I'm sure this can't be what you had planned

for Valentine's Day.

Ugh, Valentine's Day.

You're not seeing her.

Uh, ugh, look, ugh, Mark, I didn't want to go,

but I need that job.

You think this is about your job?

Liz gets the job.

Then what--? Two words:

Gwen Stacy.

Liz saw how you looked at her,

how you apologized to her for leaving.

My sister's not going to be your second choice.

She's too good for that.

She's too good for you.

[THUDS]

Something wrong, son?

Did you see the paper?

Tombstone made bail.

Lincoln may be free,

but the world knows he's the Big Man.

Sixteen different government agencies

now have him under surveillance.

His operation is crippled.

We'll get him eventually.

Oh. Well, good.

Here's the real problem.

You've created a power vacuum in the criminal universe.

And nature abhors a vacuum.

Hammerhead never showed this kind of initiative.

I should have known you were behind this.

Guilty, guilty

and, oh, so very guilty

of being the new Big Man of crime.

[CACKLING]

[

]

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