Original subtitles

I have acquired visual on subject in sector A.

Speed clocked at 72 miles per hour,

top strength, breathing controlled,

now headed northeast to sector D.

Sector D reporting.

Subject's reflexes registered 10.2

on the Goleman-Flinker standardized test.

Off the charts.

He's headed south.

Subject acquired in sector B.

Single-handedly lifted 10,000 pounds.

Extremely formidable.

My kind of challenge.

Relating!

To you. That's the goal.

You want a goal? Take up soccer!

I don't want to relate.

I want a boyfriend.

See? You don't get it. You can't do it.

Because you make it so difficult!

No, you know damn well what the problem is: him.

Oh, God.

Yes. I still care about him.

And... scene.

All right.

Watson, you're back tomorrow for a screen test.

Next!

So... maybe we'd better go now.

Uh-uh. Now that she made it,

she'll be thrilled we saw her.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Hey, how cool would it be if M.J. became a star?

I've already got it all figured out.

Actress parties, supermodel parties,

actress and supermodel parties...

Yeah, I'm sure M.J. can't wait for those.

Oh, good, then we're on the same wavelength.

Hey, what's with Dolce and Gabbana?

Don't know about muscle bags,

but the freaky hipster's Richard Damien.

He's putting up the money for this turkey...

I mean, this Oscar-worthy independent film.

Thank you for your patience.

I've got money in a new movie that's casting.

Couldn't pull myself away from the auditions.

In my business,

if I don't pull away fast enough, I die.

You know, I like the sound of that.

I see I've hired the right person.

Odd hobby.

You collect rare species,

yet you have no desire to hunt them yourself?

I love the salmon at Jojo.

Doesn't mean I have to troll for it.

I've studied the subject.

I accept your terms.

Excellent.

2.5 million,

but remember...

I want him alive.

I know, I know.

His name's Spider-Man,

but the way I figure, he's mostly spider.

No more a man than that bonobo.

He belongs in a cage.

I told you I accept the terms.

No need to explain yourself.

Half now, the other half upon delivery.

Raymond doesn't think you...

I heard what he said.

If he doesn't feel I'm up to the task,

he can prove it right now.

You challenging him to a sword fight?

He carries a weapon in the small of his back.

I believe it's a 9 mm.

Have at it.

En garde.

I'm having so much fun,

I won't even deduct it from your pay.

She was lucky.

Oh, yeah. Definitely getting my money's worth.

Ow!

Give me your watch now!

Why bother? Your time is up.

Huh?

Huh?

It's a setup.

Spider-Man...

Prepare to be defeated. Hyah!

Uh, I don't know who you are, lady,

but "take a swipe at Spidey" days

ended last month.

It was just a short promotional offer.

Mm. Good.

No, stupid.

Is there something I did that I should know about?

Stole your seat on the subway?

Okay. Now you're definitely not getting an apology.

Ow!

One hell of a first date.

You're a noble fighter, but not my type.

Okay, dipstick.

Take your java break in somebody else's precinct.

Shikata, cops!

Hold him steady. We'll bag him.

Ohh...

Hmm...

No one decides how to take down an opponent

but me.

You, hold it right there! Spider-Man!

Should've figured on you being involved.

What the...?

Punks!

I can't see anything!

Where are they...?

Looks like we got ourselves a magician.

All right, big shot.

You got a right to remain silent.

Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to consult an attorney...

Doing a little past-life regression?

Let me guess. You used to be a hit man for Genghis Khan.

I underestimated your tracking skills, Spider-Man.

You underestimated 21st-century technology.

I matched frequencies with your cell phone.

A woman in your position...

Lotus, I believe...

should be more careful.

You mistake me for someone who cares about dying.

And you don't?

The only thing that matters to me is honor.

Ah, as in, "It would be an honor to kill you, Spider-Man."

Exactly.

Worthy adversaries are so hard to find in this city.

Great. You like me.

You really like me. Now let's move on.

Do you come with me peacefully or not?

No fighting, now.

You'll have your chance soon.

Hmm.

So, guess you had the screen test.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, maybe this is a sign

that you're too talented for that Hollywood stuff.

Harry, I did great.

Oh. Quick, someone get a crowbar.

My Skecher is stuck in my mouth

and I can't get it out. Heh!

Wait a second.

Why the big crying scene?

The script. It sucks.

So much for movie stardom.

My acting career is going to be over

before it's ever begun!

This isn't a B movie.

It's more like a U movie.

"U" for "uck!"

Well, why didn't you say so?

What, you're going to call in a script doctor?

Better. Witness the power of Osborn.

Fred? Harry. Do you know Richard Damien?

Thought so.

My character is just so two-dimensional.

I need to get an appointment for a friend.

Sooner the better.

Okay. Call me back. He'll make it happen.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hey, not a problem.

But, um, do you think it's safe

for you to be alone with Damien?

A lecherous producer

and a young, beautiful actress?

You know the Girl Scout motto.

"Don't leave home without lip gloss"?

The cookies are a cover-up.

Oh.

Fine. Yeah, fine.

Have her come by at 8. Right, Fred.

You owe me, baby.

Business crisis?

A little damage control on my independent movie project.

It's just one of my many artistic endeavors.

So you keep saying.

Shouldn't you be out

hunting down our favorite arachnid?

Exactly why I'm here.

I've already found Spider-Man,

and I fully intend to face him again soon.

In which case, you'll have earned your 2.5.

The terms have changed.

It wouldn't be honorable to take your money.

But you just said...

But I can no longer promise I'll capture Spider-Man alive.

Why in the hell not?

It would be dishonorable.

So you can fight him but not capture him?

In a bout such as this, only one comes out alive.

We had a deal!

And now it's off.

Argh!

She knows your plans about Spider-Man.

Mr. Damien, you think of it as collecting,

but hiring a person to capture someone...

That's kidnapping.

She squeals, you're in trouble.

Then make sure she doesn't.

You stay here. We'll go up to the next block.

A real man wouldn't be afraid to fight me alone.

Yeah. We'll write that on your gravestone.

Damn it!

Hey, you throw a great party.

You continue to impress me with your character.

Now, more than ever,

I know it is our destiny to fight to the death.

But not now.

You hear me?

No one gets past the front gate. No one!

That includes that actress who's on her way.

Think you can manage that?

Mr. Damien, I've never seen anything like her.

And that sword!

Then Spider-Man swung in

and things got out of control.

Those were two of my best men. Close that!

What, is the front-gate guy dead now too?

Good. You figured out how this works.

Uhh! Ohh!

Uhh...

You shouldn't have sent your men to kill me.

It was Raymond, not me.

He's such a hothead.

At least he has a head.

Hello? Mr. Damien?

Hello?

Okay, this is the only room with the light on.

If you're trying to get me up to the bedroom,

I'm just going to leave.

Mr. Damien?

What are you doing under your desk?

Oh!

911 emergency.

Yes, there's been a murder. Taxi!

Hey, lady! Take your walk somewhere else!

Prepare to kill or be killed, Spider-Man.

Wasn't it just yesterday

we made such a handsome crime-fighting duo?

That is why I honor you with the chance to fight me.

Lady, it's time to get you off the streets.

It's over, Shikata.

Not till one of us is dead!

Argh!

So, if this is Heidi Klum,

please come over right away.

Harry or Peter, please come home as soon as you get this message.

I was home, but I, like, totally freaked out,

and you won't believe what happened at Mr. Damien's house...

What's going on?

Spider-Man!

M.J.!

Listen and listen good.

You fight me to the death, or she will die.

Spider-Man, the sword! It gives her power!

Uhh!

Wait!

Done waiting.

No!

Hold it right there!

Ah... Your arm.

It'll be okay.

You fought her. For me.

Not alone.

Handy piece of information, that sword thing.

How'd you know?

Long story, but the point is, we make a good team.

Yes, we do.

So, like, I think your sword freak

killed the guy who's bankrolling the movie

I was supposed to be in.

Why am I telling you this?

In case I run into any showbiz types

looking for a leading lady?

Would you do that?

I don't really travel in those circles.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Spider-Man went this way! Follow me!

Here we go again. See you around?

Definitely.

Subs by awaqeded for Addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0