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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,481 You fucked him? Wednesday. 2 00:01:40,481 --> 00:01:40,523 And the hot Latino? Thursday. 3 00:01:40,523 --> 00:01:42,153 And the hot Latino? Thursday. 4 00:01:42,153 --> 00:01:42,236 Well, 'ole', Teddy. You are out of control! 5 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:45,667 Well, 'ole', Teddy. You are out of control! 6 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:45,709 Good evening, twats. 7 00:01:45,709 --> 00:01:47,506 Good evening, twats. 8 00:01:47,506 --> 00:01:47,548 Would you kindly refrain from using derogatory references to women, 9 00:01:47,548 --> 00:01:51,018 Would you kindly refrain from using derogatory references to women, 10 00:01:51,018 --> 00:01:51,060 since they represent half my fanbase? 11 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:53,192 since they represent half my fanbase? 12 00:01:53,192 --> 00:01:53,233 Have any hermaphrodites? 13 00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:54,823 Have any hermaphrodites? 14 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:54,865 I don't think so. 15 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,746 I don't think so. 16 00:01:56,746 --> 00:01:56,788 Good. Go fuck yourself. 17 00:01:56,788 --> 00:01:59,213 Good. Go fuck yourself. 18 00:01:59,213 --> 00:01:59,254 Anybody here worth doing? 19 00:01:59,254 --> 00:02:00,843 Anybody here worth doing? 20 00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:00,886 No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em. 21 00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:02,600 No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em. 22 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:02,642 Oh, we were up to Friday. 23 00:02:02,642 --> 00:02:04,146 Oh, we were up to Friday. 24 00:02:04,146 --> 00:02:04,188 Oh, there's Friday. 25 00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:05,901 Oh, there's Friday. 26 00:02:05,901 --> 00:02:05,943 Over there. The bossy bottom over there. 27 00:02:05,943 --> 00:02:07,826 Over there. The bossy bottom over there. 28 00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:07,867 He's a bottom?! 29 00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:09,456 He's a bottom?! 30 00:02:09,456 --> 00:02:09,498 Yeah. You should hear him sing 'Natural Woman'. 31 00:02:09,498 --> 00:02:11,715 Yeah. You should hear him sing 'Natural Woman'. 32 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:11,756 Better than Aretha, I might add. 33 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,260 Better than Aretha, I might add. 34 00:02:13,260 --> 00:02:13,302 You gotta gag 'em first, then fuck 'em! 35 00:02:13,302 --> 00:02:15,560 You gotta gag 'em first, then fuck 'em! 36 00:02:16,647 --> 00:02:16,689 You still have much to learn, dear boy. 37 00:02:16,689 --> 00:02:18,697 You still have much to learn, dear boy. 38 00:02:18,697 --> 00:02:18,739 Oh, my God, who's that? 39 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,911 Oh, my God, who's that? 40 00:02:37,551 --> 00:02:37,593 I don't know, but I believe I have Sunday free... 41 00:02:37,593 --> 00:02:39,977 I don't know, but I believe I have Sunday free... 42 00:02:41,232 --> 00:02:41,273 Count on staying home and trimming your pubes. 43 00:02:41,273 --> 00:02:44,241 Count on staying home and trimming your pubes. 44 00:02:50,305 --> 00:02:50,346 I'll let him have this one. 45 00:02:50,346 --> 00:02:51,892 I'll let him have this one. 46 00:04:15,259 --> 00:04:15,301 Wow, Rage and J.T. are finally tying the knot! 47 00:04:15,301 --> 00:04:17,728 Wow, Rage and J.T. are finally tying the knot! 48 00:04:17,728 --> 00:04:17,769 It's about time, wouldn't you say? 49 00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:19,609 It's about time, wouldn't you say? 50 00:04:19,609 --> 00:04:19,651 Did they go to Toronto? 51 00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:21,157 Did they go to Toronto? 52 00:04:21,157 --> 00:04:21,198 No, Massachupiter. It's a planet. 53 00:04:21,198 --> 00:04:23,288 No, Massachupiter. It's a planet. 54 00:04:23,288 --> 00:04:23,330 Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal for gays to get married there. 55 00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:26,548 Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal for gays to get married there. 56 00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:26,590 Aha! So where do we buy our rocket ship tickets and zoom off? 57 00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:30,480 Aha! So where do we buy our rocket ship tickets and zoom off? 58 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:30,520 Huh. I wish. 59 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,027 Huh. I wish. 60 00:04:32,027 --> 00:04:32,069 Well, until we can, 61 00:04:32,069 --> 00:04:33,573 Well, until we can, 62 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:33,616 we'll just live vicariously through our intrepid superheroes. 63 00:04:33,616 --> 00:04:35,956 we'll just live vicariously through our intrepid superheroes. 64 00:04:35,956 --> 00:04:35,998 Well, let's hope that 5,000 readers - 65 00:04:35,998 --> 00:04:38,465 Well, let's hope that 5,000 readers - 66 00:04:38,465 --> 00:04:38,507 no, what the hell, make it 10 - agree with you. 67 00:04:38,507 --> 00:04:41,183 no, what the hell, make it 10 - agree with you. 68 00:04:41,183 --> 00:04:41,225 I'll get these out of your way. 69 00:04:41,225 --> 00:04:43,107 I'll get these out of your way. 70 00:04:43,107 --> 00:04:43,148 You coming to our house-warming? 71 00:04:43,148 --> 00:04:44,986 You coming to our house-warming? 72 00:04:44,986 --> 00:04:45,028 I wouldn't miss it! 73 00:04:45,028 --> 00:04:46,617 I wouldn't miss it! 74 00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:46,659 It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out. 75 00:04:46,659 --> 00:04:48,999 It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out. 76 00:04:48,999 --> 00:04:49,042 What do you say we start early? 77 00:04:49,042 --> 00:04:50,589 What do you say we start early? 78 00:04:50,589 --> 00:04:50,631 Mm-hm. Mmm. 79 00:04:50,631 --> 00:04:53,433 Mm-hm. Mmm. 80 00:04:58,115 --> 00:04:58,158 Here he is! 81 00:04:58,158 --> 00:04:59,786 Here he is! 82 00:04:59,786 --> 00:04:59,828 Our wayward son. 83 00:04:59,828 --> 00:05:01,376 Our wayward son. 84 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:02,882 Cool cover! Where you been? 85 00:05:02,882 --> 00:05:05,014 Cool cover! Where you been? 86 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:05,055 I thought you were gonna be home by 6:00. 87 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,896 I thought you were gonna be home by 6:00. 88 00:05:06,896 --> 00:05:06,937 I was practising with my debating partner. 89 00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:08,860 I was practising with my debating partner. 90 00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:08,902 Whenever I used to tell my parents that, I was usually getting stoned. 91 00:05:08,902 --> 00:05:11,746 Whenever I used to tell my parents that, I was usually getting stoned. 92 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:11,788 When's the big event? 93 00:05:11,788 --> 00:05:13,836 When's the big event? 94 00:05:13,836 --> 00:05:13,878 Uh, tomorrow afternoon. 95 00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,382 Uh, tomorrow afternoon. 96 00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:15,424 It's in front of the whole school. 97 00:05:15,424 --> 00:05:17,012 It's in front of the whole school. 98 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:17,055 What's the topic? Capital punishment. 99 00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,397 What's the topic? Capital punishment. 100 00:05:19,397 --> 00:05:19,439 I'm all for it. I say fry the motherfuckers. 101 00:05:19,439 --> 00:05:22,031 I'm all for it. I say fry the motherfuckers. 102 00:05:23,911 --> 00:05:23,953 Now you see why we're so proud. 103 00:05:23,953 --> 00:05:27,298 Now you see why we're so proud. 104 00:05:27,298 --> 00:05:27,340 Now, what I'm about to show you may frighten small children, 105 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:30,307 Now, what I'm about to show you may frighten small children, 106 00:05:30,307 --> 00:05:30,349 so parents may want them to leave the room. 107 00:05:30,349 --> 00:05:32,148 so parents may want them to leave the room. 108 00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:32,190 Scary, huh? 109 00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:34,281 Scary, huh? 110 00:05:34,281 --> 00:05:36,999 It's what I call the comb over... 111 00:05:36,999 --> 00:05:37,040 ..like Wally's, here. 112 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,544 ..like Wally's, here. 113 00:05:38,544 --> 00:05:38,587 But see how much hotter Wally looks 114 00:05:38,587 --> 00:05:41,681 But see how much hotter Wally looks 115 00:05:41,681 --> 00:05:41,723 when he embraces his baldness? 116 00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:44,608 when he embraces his baldness? 117 00:05:44,608 --> 00:05:44,650 Why, Wallace... 118 00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,531 Why, Wallace... 119 00:05:46,531 --> 00:05:46,573 ..is that a hickey?! 120 00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:48,078 ..is that a hickey?! 121 00:05:48,078 --> 00:05:48,120 Go for it, tiger! Grr! 122 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,666 Go for it, tiger! Grr! 123 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:49,708 Alright, those are my hairdos and don'ts. 124 00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:53,261 Alright, those are my hairdos and don'ts. 125 00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:53,303 Next week, I'm waxing - 126 00:05:53,303 --> 00:05:55,101 Next week, I'm waxing - 127 00:05:55,101 --> 00:05:55,143 and I'm not talking about the kitchen floor! 128 00:05:55,143 --> 00:05:56,775 and I'm not talking about the kitchen floor! 129 00:05:56,775 --> 00:05:56,816 ok, everybody. 130 00:05:56,816 --> 00:05:58,321 ok, everybody. 131 00:05:58,321 --> 00:05:58,363 Be fabulous! 132 00:05:58,363 --> 00:06:00,997 Be fabulous! 133 00:06:00,997 --> 00:06:01,039 Thanks, Queer Guy. That's it for tonight. 134 00:06:01,039 --> 00:06:03,546 Thanks, Queer Guy. That's it for tonight. 135 00:06:03,546 --> 00:06:03,589 Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow. 136 00:06:03,589 --> 00:06:06,432 Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow. 137 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:06,474 May all your news be good news. 138 00:06:06,474 --> 00:06:09,694 May all your news be good news. 139 00:06:09,694 --> 00:06:09,735 We're out. 140 00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:11,951 We're out. 141 00:06:11,951 --> 00:06:11,993 Thank you so much. 142 00:06:11,993 --> 00:06:13,916 Thank you so much. 143 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:13,958 That was fabulous! Yeah! 144 00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,879 That was fabulous! Yeah! 145 00:06:15,879 --> 00:06:15,921 See, you've even got me doing it. Sorry, Don. 146 00:06:15,921 --> 00:06:18,222 See, you've even got me doing it. Sorry, Don. 147 00:06:18,222 --> 00:06:18,264 Sorry? Since you've been on the air, the ratings have gone up two points! 148 00:06:18,264 --> 00:06:21,149 Sorry? Since you've been on the air, the ratings have gone up two points! 149 00:06:21,149 --> 00:06:21,190 Now everybody wants the queer perspective. 150 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:23,574 Now everybody wants the queer perspective. 151 00:06:23,574 --> 00:06:23,616 Channel 9 has even hired a trannie weather... uh, person. 152 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,417 Channel 9 has even hired a trannie weather... uh, person. 153 00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:26,459 Well, let's just hope he... she... 154 00:06:26,459 --> 00:06:28,424 Well, let's just hope he... she... 155 00:06:28,424 --> 00:06:28,466 can decide if it's gonna be rainy or fair! 156 00:06:28,466 --> 00:06:30,306 can decide if it's gonna be rainy or fair! 157 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:30,348 Either way, your fans are gonna be lined up around the block 158 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,771 Either way, your fans are gonna be lined up around the block 159 00:06:32,771 --> 00:06:32,812 to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's! 160 00:06:32,812 --> 00:06:34,738 to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's! 161 00:06:34,738 --> 00:06:34,780 So many in need, so little time. 162 00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:36,701 So many in need, so little time. 163 00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:36,744 And wait till you read your... 164 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,584 And wait till you read your... 165 00:06:38,584 --> 00:06:38,626 ..fan mail. 166 00:06:38,626 --> 00:06:40,130 ..fan mail. 167 00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:40,173 Fan mail? For me? 168 00:06:40,173 --> 00:06:41,678 Fan mail? For me? 169 00:06:41,678 --> 00:06:41,719 Even people who hate fags love you. 170 00:06:41,719 --> 00:06:44,311 Even people who hate fags love you. 171 00:06:49,246 --> 00:06:49,287 Here you go, hon. 172 00:06:49,287 --> 00:06:50,834 Here you go, hon. 173 00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:50,875 Oh, thank you, Carl, but... 174 00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:54,512 Oh, thank you, Carl, but... 175 00:06:54,512 --> 00:06:54,554 ..honestly, I don't think I could keep it down. 176 00:06:54,554 --> 00:06:56,853 ..honestly, I don't think I could keep it down. 177 00:06:58,442 --> 00:06:58,483 Are you still hurtin'? Mm-hm. 178 00:06:58,483 --> 00:07:01,036 Are you still hurtin'? Mm-hm. 179 00:07:01,036 --> 00:07:01,077 Poor baby. 180 00:07:01,077 --> 00:07:03,586 Poor baby. 181 00:07:03,586 --> 00:07:03,627 Did you take what Dr McGrath prescribed? 182 00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:05,593 Did you take what Dr McGrath prescribed? 183 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:05,634 That quack?! 184 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,222 That quack?! 185 00:07:07,222 --> 00:07:07,264 He had me splitting corn to be served with orange sauce. 186 00:07:07,264 --> 00:07:10,023 He had me splitting corn to be served with orange sauce. 187 00:07:14,498 --> 00:07:14,539 I mean, there are all these new diseases. 188 00:07:14,539 --> 00:07:16,211 I mean, there are all these new diseases. 189 00:07:16,211 --> 00:07:16,253 You know, damn doctors can't keep up with it. 190 00:07:16,253 --> 00:07:18,384 You know, damn doctors can't keep up with it. 191 00:07:19,556 --> 00:07:19,598 Mmm. 192 00:07:19,598 --> 00:07:21,187 Mmm. 193 00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:21,229 What if it's mad cow, or that bird flu? 194 00:07:21,229 --> 00:07:24,029 What if it's mad cow, or that bird flu? 195 00:07:24,029 --> 00:07:24,071 Come to think of it, a pigeon shit on my shoulder the other day - 196 00:07:24,071 --> 00:07:26,957 Come to think of it, a pigeon shit on my shoulder the other day - 197 00:07:26,957 --> 00:07:26,998 I gotta remember to tell that to the new doctor. 198 00:07:26,998 --> 00:07:29,005 I gotta remember to tell that to the new doctor. 199 00:07:29,005 --> 00:07:29,047 New doctor? 200 00:07:29,047 --> 00:07:30,553 New doctor? 201 00:07:30,553 --> 00:07:30,594 I'm getting a second opinion. 202 00:07:30,594 --> 00:07:32,517 I'm getting a second opinion. 203 00:07:32,517 --> 00:07:32,559 Actually, it's more like a fourth. 204 00:07:32,559 --> 00:07:34,985 Actually, it's more like a fourth. 205 00:07:34,985 --> 00:07:35,026 ok, that's it. 206 00:07:35,026 --> 00:07:36,657 ok, that's it. 207 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:40,084 Who you calling? The station. 208 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,427 Who you calling? The station. 209 00:07:42,427 --> 00:07:42,469 I'm gonna take you. Carl, please, no! 210 00:07:42,469 --> 00:07:44,517 I'm gonna take you. Carl, please, no! 211 00:07:44,517 --> 00:07:44,559 It'll just make it worse, alright? 212 00:07:44,559 --> 00:07:46,565 It'll just make it worse, alright? 213 00:07:46,565 --> 00:07:46,607 Thinking that I'm keeping you from work. 214 00:07:46,607 --> 00:07:48,740 Thinking that I'm keeping you from work. 215 00:07:55,597 --> 00:07:55,639 You go solve a murder or two. 216 00:07:55,639 --> 00:07:58,021 You go solve a murder or two. 217 00:07:58,021 --> 00:07:58,063 I wish I could solve this... 218 00:07:58,063 --> 00:07:59,986 I wish I could solve this... 219 00:07:59,986 --> 00:08:00,028 Gently! Gently. 220 00:08:00,028 --> 00:08:01,742 Gently! Gently. 221 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:04,627 ok, promise you'll call me as soon as you hear what the doctor says. 222 00:08:04,627 --> 00:08:08,809 ok, promise you'll call me as soon as you hear what the doctor says. 223 00:08:08,809 --> 00:08:08,851 I promise. 224 00:08:08,851 --> 00:08:10,313 I promise. 225 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:14,326 Oh! 226 00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:16,377 Oh! 227 00:08:17,421 --> 00:08:17,463 It's ok, honey. 228 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,010 It's ok, honey. 229 00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:24,194 I'll be at Hoffman's department store today from 1:00 to 3:00 230 00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:29,128 I'll be at Hoffman's department store today from 1:00 to 3:00 231 00:08:29,128 --> 00:08:29,170 signing autographs, giving tips on how to be fabulous. 232 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:32,598 signing autographs, giving tips on how to be fabulous. 233 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:33,684 Be sure and stop by! 234 00:08:33,684 --> 00:08:35,273 Be sure and stop by! 235 00:08:37,447 --> 00:08:37,489 Oh, Teddy, I feel as if I finally found my calling, 236 00:08:37,489 --> 00:08:40,332 Oh, Teddy, I feel as if I finally found my calling, 237 00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:40,374 that God has appointed me from above to do his work below. 238 00:08:40,374 --> 00:08:44,346 that God has appointed me from above to do his work below. 239 00:08:44,346 --> 00:08:44,388 Saint Emmett! 240 00:08:44,388 --> 00:08:45,936 Saint Emmett! 241 00:08:45,936 --> 00:08:45,977 Patron saint of the fashion-impoverished, 242 00:08:45,977 --> 00:08:48,526 Patron saint of the fashion-impoverished, 243 00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:48,568 the style-deprived.... 244 00:08:48,568 --> 00:08:50,115 the style-deprived.... 245 00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:50,157 You laugh, but there is something almost holy 246 00:08:50,157 --> 00:08:53,084 You laugh, but there is something almost holy 247 00:08:53,084 --> 00:08:53,127 about saving the thousands of walking disasters in this town. 248 00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:56,136 about saving the thousands of walking disasters in this town. 249 00:08:57,683 --> 00:08:57,725 Of which he is definitely not one. 250 00:08:57,725 --> 00:09:00,277 Of which he is definitely not one. 251 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:05,962 Can you believe that guy? 252 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,551 Can you believe that guy? 253 00:09:07,551 --> 00:09:07,593 Walked right by, didn't even recognise me. 254 00:09:07,593 --> 00:09:09,097 Walked right by, didn't even recognise me. 255 00:09:10,602 --> 00:09:10,643 But I recognise him. 256 00:09:10,643 --> 00:09:12,192 But I recognise him. 257 00:09:12,192 --> 00:09:12,233 Is he someone? 258 00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,864 Is he someone? 259 00:09:13,864 --> 00:09:13,906 Oh, he's someone alright. 260 00:09:13,906 --> 00:09:16,163 Oh, he's someone alright. 261 00:09:20,636 --> 00:09:20,677 Pride, 2002. 262 00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:22,728 Pride, 2002. 263 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:22,770 We had amazing sex... 264 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,401 We had amazing sex... 265 00:09:24,401 --> 00:09:24,442 ..at least, I thought so. 266 00:09:24,442 --> 00:09:25,905 ..at least, I thought so. 267 00:09:25,905 --> 00:09:25,947 Then, the next day, 268 00:09:25,947 --> 00:09:27,661 Then, the next day, 269 00:09:27,661 --> 00:09:27,701 I met him at Woody's. 270 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,458 I met him at Woody's. 271 00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:29,500 He told me once a year he finds some loser guy... 272 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:32,260 He told me once a year he finds some loser guy... 273 00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:32,301 Like you. And I give him a break. 274 00:09:32,301 --> 00:09:35,019 Like you. And I give him a break. 275 00:09:35,019 --> 00:09:35,061 I give him... I give him me, 276 00:09:35,061 --> 00:09:37,863 I give him... I give him me, 277 00:09:37,863 --> 00:09:37,904 the fuck of his life. 278 00:09:37,904 --> 00:09:40,035 the fuck of his life. 279 00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:40,077 You know, something he can remember, 280 00:09:40,077 --> 00:09:42,042 You know, something he can remember, 281 00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:42,084 much like a souvenir. 282 00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,218 much like a souvenir. 283 00:09:44,218 --> 00:09:44,260 It's my way of giving back to the community. 284 00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:47,563 It's my way of giving back to the community. 285 00:09:47,563 --> 00:09:47,605 Teddy, that was aeons ago! 286 00:09:47,605 --> 00:09:50,197 Teddy, that was aeons ago! 287 00:09:50,197 --> 00:09:50,237 Look at you now - 288 00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:51,786 Look at you now - 289 00:09:51,786 --> 00:09:51,826 thin, gorgeous, guys falling all over you. 290 00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:53,832 thin, gorgeous, guys falling all over you. 291 00:09:53,832 --> 00:09:53,874 It was the single most humiliating experience of my life. 292 00:09:53,874 --> 00:09:56,090 It was the single most humiliating experience of my life. 293 00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:56,132 Everybody called me... 294 00:09:56,132 --> 00:09:57,638 Everybody called me... 295 00:09:59,436 --> 00:09:59,478 ..Aunt Pityfuck. 296 00:09:59,478 --> 00:10:00,983 ..Aunt Pityfuck. 297 00:10:02,154 --> 00:10:02,196 Well, as painful as it may have been, 298 00:10:02,196 --> 00:10:04,159 Well, as painful as it may have been, 299 00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:04,201 you just have to let it go. 300 00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:06,377 you just have to let it go. 301 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:15,155 Or get even. 302 00:10:15,155 --> 00:10:16,662 Or get even. 303 00:10:20,799 --> 00:10:20,841 I'm not gonna make him nervous! 304 00:10:20,841 --> 00:10:22,473 I'm not gonna make him nervous! 305 00:10:22,473 --> 00:10:22,515 I'll sit in the back, he won't even know I'm there. 306 00:10:22,515 --> 00:10:24,689 I'll sit in the back, he won't even know I'm there. 307 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:26,360 I just wanna see him in action. 308 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,951 I just wanna see him in action. 309 00:10:27,951 --> 00:10:27,992 We'll stop by the store afterwards. I'll take you both to dinner. 310 00:10:27,992 --> 00:10:31,797 We'll stop by the store afterwards. I'll take you both to dinner. 311 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:35,644 Love. 312 00:10:35,644 --> 00:10:37,357 Love. 313 00:10:37,357 --> 00:10:37,399 Oh, God. 314 00:10:37,399 --> 00:10:39,406 Oh, God. 315 00:10:40,452 --> 00:10:40,494 Callie? 316 00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:42,081 Callie? 317 00:10:42,081 --> 00:10:42,123 It's Ben. 318 00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:44,129 It's Ben. 319 00:10:44,129 --> 00:10:44,171 Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad. 320 00:10:44,171 --> 00:10:46,388 Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad. 321 00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:46,430 I came to watch him debate. 322 00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:48,520 I came to watch him debate. 323 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:48,562 Which way is the auditorium? Uh... 324 00:10:48,562 --> 00:10:50,151 Which way is the auditorium? Uh... 325 00:10:50,151 --> 00:10:50,193 As you go in, it's on the right. 326 00:10:50,193 --> 00:10:52,618 As you go in, it's on the right. 327 00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:52,660 Ah. 328 00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:54,291 Ah. 329 00:10:56,129 --> 00:10:56,170 But I don't think there's a debate. 330 00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,428 But I don't think there's a debate. 331 00:10:59,893 --> 00:10:59,935 They've got a chorus practice. 332 00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:02,026 They've got a chorus practice. 333 00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:03,112 Are you sure? 334 00:11:03,112 --> 00:11:04,617 Are you sure? 335 00:11:09,048 --> 00:11:09,089 Is Hunter ok? 336 00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:11,556 Is Hunter ok? 337 00:11:11,556 --> 00:11:11,598 He hasn't been in school all week. 338 00:11:11,598 --> 00:11:13,898 He hasn't been in school all week. 339 00:11:13,898 --> 00:11:13,939 Oh, he's fine. I guess I must have misunderstood him. 340 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:18,665 Oh, he's fine. I guess I must have misunderstood him. 341 00:11:27,236 --> 00:11:27,277 This pink striped shirt will look fab under this jacket, 342 00:11:27,277 --> 00:11:30,621 This pink striped shirt will look fab under this jacket, 343 00:11:30,621 --> 00:11:30,663 and... oh, oh, oh! 344 00:11:30,663 --> 00:11:32,755 and... oh, oh, oh! 345 00:11:32,755 --> 00:11:32,797 And see how this tie really makes it pop? 346 00:11:32,797 --> 00:11:37,354 And see how this tie really makes it pop? 347 00:11:37,354 --> 00:11:37,396 Frankly, I don't care what clothes Irwin wears. 348 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,318 Frankly, I don't care what clothes Irwin wears. 349 00:11:39,318 --> 00:11:39,362 He took your advice from the other night and shaved his head, 350 00:11:39,362 --> 00:11:41,786 He took your advice from the other night and shaved his head, 351 00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:41,828 you know, he embraced his baldness. 352 00:11:41,828 --> 00:11:43,917 you know, he embraced his baldness. 353 00:11:43,917 --> 00:11:43,959 Now I barely let him out of the bedroom! 354 00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:46,343 Now I barely let him out of the bedroom! 355 00:11:46,343 --> 00:11:46,385 I can't tell you how much it warms my heart 356 00:11:46,385 --> 00:11:49,395 I can't tell you how much it warms my heart 357 00:11:49,395 --> 00:11:49,437 to know I'm keeping heteros horny! 358 00:11:49,437 --> 00:11:51,026 to know I'm keeping heteros horny! 359 00:11:51,026 --> 00:11:51,068 ok. 360 00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:52,572 ok. 361 00:11:52,572 --> 00:11:52,614 Alright, be back in five! It's tinkle time! 362 00:11:52,614 --> 00:11:54,789 Alright, be back in five! It's tinkle time! 363 00:11:54,789 --> 00:11:54,830 'Bye! 364 00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:56,337 'Bye! 365 00:11:56,337 --> 00:11:56,377 You are a superstar! Oh, shh. 366 00:11:56,377 --> 00:11:58,843 You are a superstar! Oh, shh. 367 00:11:58,843 --> 00:11:58,885 Look at this crowd! 368 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,516 Look at this crowd! 369 00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:00,557 Yeah, second only to when the Stones played Three Rivers Stadium. 370 00:12:00,557 --> 00:12:02,857 Yeah, second only to when the Stones played Three Rivers Stadium. 371 00:12:06,996 --> 00:12:07,038 Brian! 372 00:12:07,038 --> 00:12:08,628 Brian! 373 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:08,670 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 374 00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:11,512 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 375 00:12:11,512 --> 00:12:11,554 Well... needed socks. 376 00:12:11,554 --> 00:12:13,811 Well... needed socks. 377 00:12:13,811 --> 00:12:13,853 Don't pay any attention to him. He's as proud of you as we are. 378 00:12:13,853 --> 00:12:16,780 Don't pay any attention to him. He's as proud of you as we are. 379 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:16,823 Aren't you? 380 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,494 Aren't you? 381 00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:18,537 Yeah, it's an honour to count among our close personal friends 382 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:21,420 Yeah, it's an honour to count among our close personal friends 383 00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:21,461 television's latest gay eunuch. 384 00:12:21,461 --> 00:12:23,845 television's latest gay eunuch. 385 00:12:23,845 --> 00:12:23,887 Excuse me? 386 00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,853 Excuse me? 387 00:12:25,853 --> 00:12:25,895 You know, as in non-sexual, non-threatening... 388 00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:31,748 You know, as in non-sexual, non-threatening... 389 00:12:31,748 --> 00:12:31,789 Ball-less. 390 00:12:31,789 --> 00:12:33,587 Ball-less. 391 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:33,630 You do homage to a long and illustrious line 392 00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:37,266 You do homage to a long and illustrious line 393 00:12:37,266 --> 00:12:37,307 of lovable, laughable clowns who've come before you. 394 00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:41,031 of lovable, laughable clowns who've come before you. 395 00:12:41,031 --> 00:12:41,073 Why, just look at all these people! 396 00:12:41,073 --> 00:12:43,161 Why, just look at all these people! 397 00:12:44,918 --> 00:12:44,960 They're my fans. 398 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,590 They're my fans. 399 00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:46,632 They adore me. 400 00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:48,178 They adore me. 401 00:12:48,178 --> 00:12:48,220 Because you're so cute! 402 00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,019 Because you're so cute! 403 00:12:51,565 --> 00:12:51,606 But do you think they'd still adore you 404 00:12:51,606 --> 00:12:53,698 But do you think they'd still adore you 405 00:12:53,698 --> 00:12:53,739 if they knew you took it up the ass and liked it? 406 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:57,210 if they knew you took it up the ass and liked it? 407 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:57,252 Like I said, Brian - 408 00:12:57,252 --> 00:12:59,927 Like I said, Brian - 409 00:12:59,927 --> 00:12:59,969 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 410 00:12:59,969 --> 00:13:02,770 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 411 00:13:04,902 --> 00:13:04,944 Any time. 412 00:13:04,944 --> 00:13:07,118 Any time. 413 00:13:08,414 --> 00:13:08,456 I just love you. You're so cute! 414 00:13:08,456 --> 00:13:11,051 I just love you. You're so cute! 415 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:11,091 Thank you. Thank you. Ma'am, step back, please. 416 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,013 Thank you. Thank you. Ma'am, step back, please. 417 00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:18,659 He's been lying to us? 418 00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:20,664 He's been lying to us? 419 00:13:20,664 --> 00:13:20,705 I'm sure there's a reason. 420 00:13:20,705 --> 00:13:23,383 I'm sure there's a reason. 421 00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:23,424 I didn't say a good reason. 422 00:13:23,424 --> 00:13:24,972 I didn't say a good reason. 423 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:25,013 But I thought he trusted us, that, you know, 424 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,480 But I thought he trusted us, that, you know, 425 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:27,522 he told us everything! 426 00:13:27,522 --> 00:13:29,067 he told us everything! 427 00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:29,109 Did you tell your mother everything when you were 17? 428 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,158 Did you tell your mother everything when you were 17? 429 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:31,200 I didn't have to. There were hidden monitors in every room. 430 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,710 I didn't have to. There were hidden monitors in every room. 431 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:33,751 She had a homing device implanted in my brain soon after birth - 432 00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:37,555 She had a homing device implanted in my brain soon after birth - 433 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:37,596 it's the only explanation how she automatically knew. 434 00:13:37,596 --> 00:13:39,771 it's the only explanation how she automatically knew. 435 00:13:39,771 --> 00:13:39,813 Here... here he comes. 436 00:13:39,813 --> 00:13:41,360 Here... here he comes. 437 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:41,402 Now, let's try not to let our emotions run amok. 438 00:13:41,402 --> 00:13:43,744 Now, let's try not to let our emotions run amok. 439 00:13:43,744 --> 00:13:43,786 That's easy for you to say - 440 00:13:43,786 --> 00:13:45,332 That's easy for you to say - 441 00:13:45,332 --> 00:13:45,374 you come from a long line of repressed alcoholics. 442 00:13:45,374 --> 00:13:47,381 you come from a long line of repressed alcoholics. 443 00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:49,012 Sorry I'm late. I was in debate club. 444 00:13:49,012 --> 00:13:51,393 Sorry I'm late. I was in debate club. 445 00:13:51,393 --> 00:13:51,435 This week's topic is... 'Secrets and lies'? 446 00:13:51,435 --> 00:13:54,823 This week's topic is... 'Secrets and lies'? 447 00:13:56,455 --> 00:13:56,497 We know you haven't been in school all week. 448 00:13:56,497 --> 00:13:58,336 We know you haven't been in school all week. 449 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:05,861 Better. 450 00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,323 Better. 451 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:09,791 Would you just leave me the fuck alone? 452 00:14:09,791 --> 00:14:11,463 Would you just leave me the fuck alone? 453 00:14:11,463 --> 00:14:11,505 I told you, I don't want to talk about it. 454 00:14:11,505 --> 00:14:13,555 I told you, I don't want to talk about it. 455 00:14:13,555 --> 00:14:13,596 We have to talk about it. We wanna help you. 456 00:14:13,596 --> 00:14:16,565 We have to talk about it. We wanna help you. 457 00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:16,606 You can't help me. Nobody can help me. It's too late. 458 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,322 You can't help me. Nobody can help me. It's too late. 459 00:14:19,322 --> 00:14:19,365 It's never too late. 460 00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:20,872 It's never too late. 461 00:14:20,872 --> 00:14:20,914 I know it's been a tough few weeks... 462 00:14:20,914 --> 00:14:22,668 I know it's been a tough few weeks... 463 00:14:22,668 --> 00:14:22,710 Try years. 464 00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:24,801 Try years. 465 00:14:24,801 --> 00:14:24,843 ok. ok, but there's gotta be a solution. 466 00:14:24,843 --> 00:14:26,974 ok. ok, but there's gotta be a solution. 467 00:14:26,974 --> 00:14:27,016 I can't go back to that school. 468 00:14:27,016 --> 00:14:29,400 I can't go back to that school. 469 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:29,442 Everybody just stares at me like I'm a piece of shit, 470 00:14:29,442 --> 00:14:31,866 Everybody just stares at me like I'm a piece of shit, 471 00:14:31,866 --> 00:14:31,908 and when they do, that's how I feel. 472 00:14:31,908 --> 00:14:33,539 and when they do, that's how I feel. 473 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:33,581 You're not a piece of shit! 474 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,128 You're not a piece of shit! 475 00:14:35,128 --> 00:14:35,170 You're a brave, smart, funny, wonderful person. 476 00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:37,928 You're a brave, smart, funny, wonderful person. 477 00:14:37,928 --> 00:14:37,970 And you're our son! And we love you! 478 00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:39,727 And you're our son! And we love you! 479 00:14:39,727 --> 00:14:39,769 And you don't have to lie to us. We know what you're going through. 480 00:14:39,769 --> 00:14:42,570 And you don't have to lie to us. We know what you're going through. 481 00:14:43,615 --> 00:14:43,657 You have no idea. 482 00:14:43,657 --> 00:14:45,160 You have no idea. 483 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:50,515 How about a barbecue grill? 484 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,977 How about a barbecue grill? 485 00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:56,031 Or maybe fireplace tools. 486 00:14:56,031 --> 00:14:57,913 Or maybe fireplace tools. 487 00:14:57,913 --> 00:14:57,955 What do you think? 488 00:14:57,955 --> 00:14:59,501 What do you think? 489 00:14:59,501 --> 00:14:59,544 I think if you don't stop talking about 490 00:14:59,544 --> 00:15:01,133 I think if you don't stop talking about 491 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:01,174 their goddamn house-warming gift, 492 00:15:01,174 --> 00:15:02,722 their goddamn house-warming gift, 493 00:15:02,722 --> 00:15:02,763 I'm gonna burn their fucking place down. 494 00:15:02,763 --> 00:15:04,185 I'm gonna burn their fucking place down. 495 00:15:06,444 --> 00:15:06,485 Another round. What's your problem? 496 00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:08,658 Another round. What's your problem? 497 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:08,700 I have no problem. 498 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,749 I have no problem. 499 00:15:10,749 --> 00:15:10,790 I am problem-less. 500 00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:13,050 I am problem-less. 501 00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:13,091 A problem-free zone. 502 00:15:13,091 --> 00:15:15,264 A problem-free zone. 503 00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:15,306 Then help me pick something out. 504 00:15:15,306 --> 00:15:16,811 Then help me pick something out. 505 00:15:23,459 --> 00:15:23,501 A hands-free toilet. 506 00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:26,134 A hands-free toilet. 507 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:26,176 "It senses you are there and automatically flushes." 508 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,104 "It senses you are there and automatically flushes." 509 00:15:29,104 --> 00:15:29,145 Yeah! 510 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,068 Yeah! 511 00:15:31,068 --> 00:15:31,110 300 bucks down the crapper. 512 00:15:31,110 --> 00:15:33,577 300 bucks down the crapper. 513 00:15:33,577 --> 00:15:33,619 Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? 514 00:15:33,619 --> 00:15:35,124 Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? 515 00:15:35,124 --> 00:15:35,165 No. 516 00:15:35,165 --> 00:15:37,174 No. 517 00:15:37,174 --> 00:15:37,216 Fine. 518 00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:38,678 Fine. 519 00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:49,088 Anyway. 520 00:15:49,088 --> 00:15:50,928 Anyway. 521 00:15:52,308 --> 00:15:52,350 You wouldn't understand. 522 00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:53,854 You wouldn't understand. 523 00:15:54,901 --> 00:15:56,572 I'll show you my sat scores. 524 00:15:58,789 --> 00:15:58,830 You're too young. 525 00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:00,377 You're too young. 526 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:00,418 Compared to who? 527 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,257 Compared to who? 528 00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:02,299 'Whom'. You? 529 00:16:02,299 --> 00:16:03,846 'Whom'. You? 530 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:07,776 That hot guy I followed into the back room the other night? 531 00:16:07,776 --> 00:16:11,038 That hot guy I followed into the back room the other night? 532 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:11,080 What about him? 533 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,462 What about him? 534 00:16:13,462 --> 00:16:13,504 When I went for his cock... 535 00:16:13,504 --> 00:16:15,804 When I went for his cock... 536 00:16:18,564 --> 00:16:18,606 Never mind. 537 00:16:18,606 --> 00:16:20,821 Never mind. 538 00:16:20,821 --> 00:16:20,863 Would you just say it? 539 00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:22,326 Would you just say it? 540 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:25,127 My hand... 541 00:16:25,127 --> 00:16:26,716 My hand... 542 00:16:26,716 --> 00:16:26,758 Your hand... 543 00:16:26,758 --> 00:16:28,181 Your hand... 544 00:16:29,811 --> 00:16:29,853 What? 545 00:16:29,853 --> 00:16:30,814 What? 546 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:38,005 If it's any comfort, you're still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh. 547 00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:41,058 If it's any comfort, you're still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh. 548 00:16:43,147 --> 00:16:43,189 Now help me out here. We can't show up without a gift. 549 00:16:43,189 --> 00:16:45,823 Now help me out here. We can't show up without a gift. 550 00:16:45,823 --> 00:16:45,865 I'm not going to their fucking party. 551 00:16:45,865 --> 00:16:47,996 I'm not going to their fucking party. 552 00:16:47,996 --> 00:16:48,039 Why not? 553 00:16:48,039 --> 00:16:49,043 Why not? 554 00:16:49,043 --> 00:16:51,008 Because I'm going to a fucking party. 555 00:16:57,906 --> 00:16:57,949 Stop it! It hurts! 556 00:16:57,949 --> 00:17:00,584 Stop it! It hurts! 557 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:00,625 Come on, Carl, take it like a man. 558 00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:03,969 Come on, Carl, take it like a man. 559 00:17:03,969 --> 00:17:04,011 Jesus, you're killing me! 560 00:17:04,011 --> 00:17:06,520 Jesus, you're killing me! 561 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:06,562 What the hell's going on? 562 00:17:06,562 --> 00:17:08,108 What the hell's going on? 563 00:17:08,108 --> 00:17:08,150 Arggh! 564 00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:10,407 Arggh! 565 00:17:10,407 --> 00:17:10,449 Carl's letting me practise waxing his back for an upcoming segment. 566 00:17:10,449 --> 00:17:13,209 Carl's letting me practise waxing his back for an upcoming segment. 567 00:17:13,209 --> 00:17:13,251 Christ. 568 00:17:13,251 --> 00:17:14,882 Christ. 569 00:17:14,882 --> 00:17:14,924 I thought you were practising something else. 570 00:17:14,924 --> 00:17:17,222 I thought you were practising something else. 571 00:17:17,222 --> 00:17:17,263 ok, that's it. I... I've had it. 572 00:17:17,263 --> 00:17:19,814 ok, that's it. I... I've had it. 573 00:17:19,814 --> 00:17:19,856 You're only half-waxed. 574 00:17:19,856 --> 00:17:21,487 You're only half-waxed. 575 00:17:21,487 --> 00:17:21,530 Yeah, and if you go down any further, I'll be half-assed. 576 00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:24,079 Yeah, and if you go down any further, I'll be half-assed. 577 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:26,922 How about you, Deb? You want me to give you a landing strip? 578 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,640 How about you, Deb? You want me to give you a landing strip? 579 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:29,682 Thanks, but I prefer to keep the entire airport. 580 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:33,655 Thanks, but I prefer to keep the entire airport. 581 00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:33,697 You got a temperature? 582 00:17:33,697 --> 00:17:35,410 You got a temperature? 583 00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:35,451 No. Damn it! 584 00:17:35,451 --> 00:17:37,458 No. Damn it! 585 00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:40,426 What did the new doctor say? 586 00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,056 What did the new doctor say? 587 00:17:42,056 --> 00:17:42,098 He said I'm dying... of perfect health. 588 00:17:42,098 --> 00:17:44,861 He said I'm dying... of perfect health. 589 00:17:44,861 --> 00:17:44,902 Wise-ass. 590 00:17:44,902 --> 00:17:46,324 Wise-ass. 591 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:47,408 Maybe this will bring down my fever. 592 00:17:47,408 --> 00:17:49,374 Maybe this will bring down my fever. 593 00:17:49,374 --> 00:17:49,416 You just said you don't have a fever. 594 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:52,091 You just said you don't have a fever. 595 00:17:52,091 --> 00:17:52,133 That's what the thermometer said. I know I'm burning up. 596 00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:55,101 That's what the thermometer said. I know I'm burning up. 597 00:18:04,802 --> 00:18:04,843 Deb, do you... think I'm physically attractive? 598 00:18:04,843 --> 00:18:08,190 Deb, do you... think I'm physically attractive? 599 00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:08,232 You know... sexy? 600 00:18:08,232 --> 00:18:10,363 You know... sexy? 601 00:18:10,363 --> 00:18:10,405 Well... 602 00:18:10,405 --> 00:18:12,787 Well... 603 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:12,830 Keeping in mind that I'm a heterosexual woman of a certain age, 604 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,384 Keeping in mind that I'm a heterosexual woman of a certain age, 605 00:18:16,384 --> 00:18:16,426 and you're queer as they come... 606 00:18:16,426 --> 00:18:18,765 and you're queer as they come... 607 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:18,807 ..fuck, yeah. 608 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,272 ..fuck, yeah. 609 00:18:20,272 --> 00:18:20,312 Good. 610 00:18:20,312 --> 00:18:21,862 Good. 611 00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:21,903 Because Brian said the only reason people like the Queer Guy 612 00:18:21,903 --> 00:18:25,329 Because Brian said the only reason people like the Queer Guy 613 00:18:25,329 --> 00:18:25,371 is because I'm non-threatening, sexless, a... eunuch. 614 00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:28,801 is because I'm non-threatening, sexless, a... eunuch. 615 00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:28,843 What the fuck's he know? 616 00:18:28,843 --> 00:18:30,347 What the fuck's he know? 617 00:18:30,347 --> 00:18:30,389 Actually, a lot. 618 00:18:30,389 --> 00:18:32,394 Actually, a lot. 619 00:18:32,394 --> 00:18:32,437 Yeah? Well, he's wrong. 620 00:18:32,437 --> 00:18:33,985 Yeah? Well, he's wrong. 621 00:18:33,985 --> 00:18:34,027 Hell, you have more sex than anyone I know. 622 00:18:34,027 --> 00:18:36,953 Hell, you have more sex than anyone I know. 623 00:18:36,953 --> 00:18:36,995 Except me, of course... 624 00:18:36,995 --> 00:18:39,002 Except me, of course... 625 00:18:39,002 --> 00:18:39,044 ..since Carl moved in. 626 00:18:39,044 --> 00:18:40,715 ..since Carl moved in. 627 00:18:42,514 --> 00:18:42,556 Let's face it, honey, 628 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,396 Let's face it, honey, 629 00:18:44,396 --> 00:18:44,436 most viewers don't want to think about gays having sex. 630 00:18:44,436 --> 00:18:47,154 most viewers don't want to think about gays having sex. 631 00:18:47,154 --> 00:18:47,196 I mean, the thought of two guys kissing - 632 00:18:47,196 --> 00:18:49,162 I mean, the thought of two guys kissing - 633 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:49,204 much less, um... you know, taking it up the ass - 634 00:18:49,204 --> 00:18:53,510 much less, um... you know, taking it up the ass - 635 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:53,552 it just makes them uncomfortable. 636 00:18:53,552 --> 00:18:55,683 it just makes them uncomfortable. 637 00:18:55,683 --> 00:18:55,724 Brian said that too. 638 00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:58,066 Brian said that too. 639 00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:00,243 Well, you know something? 640 00:19:00,243 --> 00:19:02,750 Well, you know something? 641 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:02,792 It's time they got over it. 642 00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:04,547 It's time they got over it. 643 00:19:22,652 --> 00:19:22,693 Mind spotting me? 644 00:19:22,693 --> 00:19:24,367 Mind spotting me? 645 00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:24,408 Sure. 646 00:19:24,408 --> 00:19:25,954 Sure. 647 00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:39,751 Don't I know you? 648 00:19:39,751 --> 00:19:41,256 Don't I know you? 649 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:42,341 I don't think so. 650 00:19:42,341 --> 00:19:43,848 I don't think so. 651 00:19:45,646 --> 00:19:45,688 I'm Troy. 652 00:19:45,688 --> 00:19:47,193 I'm Troy. 653 00:19:48,237 --> 00:19:48,279 Teddy. 654 00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:49,827 Teddy. 655 00:19:53,087 --> 00:19:53,130 Hey, I know where I know you from. 656 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:56,265 Hey, I know where I know you from. 657 00:19:56,265 --> 00:19:56,308 You do? 658 00:19:56,308 --> 00:19:57,812 You do? 659 00:19:57,812 --> 00:19:57,855 South Beach, right? 660 00:19:57,855 --> 00:19:59,359 South Beach, right? 661 00:19:59,359 --> 00:19:59,401 We hooked up. 662 00:19:59,401 --> 00:20:00,864 We hooked up. 663 00:20:01,911 --> 00:20:01,953 Nope. Never been there. 664 00:20:01,953 --> 00:20:04,669 Nope. Never been there. 665 00:20:04,669 --> 00:20:04,709 Oh. 666 00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:06,217 Oh. 667 00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:06,259 Well, would you like to? 668 00:20:06,259 --> 00:20:07,721 Well, would you like to? 669 00:20:09,143 --> 00:20:09,185 Go to South Beach? 670 00:20:09,185 --> 00:20:10,773 Go to South Beach? 671 00:20:10,773 --> 00:20:10,815 Hook up. 672 00:20:10,815 --> 00:20:12,278 Hook up. 673 00:20:20,545 --> 00:20:20,587 Sure. 674 00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,682 Sure. 675 00:20:22,682 --> 00:20:22,723 And in our research we've found 676 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,270 And in our research we've found 677 00:20:24,270 --> 00:20:24,312 that once a woman reaches the age of 35, 678 00:20:24,312 --> 00:20:26,408 that once a woman reaches the age of 35, 679 00:20:26,408 --> 00:20:26,449 she's all but invisible to most men. 680 00:20:26,449 --> 00:20:29,171 she's all but invisible to most men. 681 00:20:29,171 --> 00:20:29,213 And you want to make them visible again. 682 00:20:29,213 --> 00:20:31,558 And you want to make them visible again. 683 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:33,065 Or at least make them think that they can be. 684 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,123 Or at least make them think that they can be. 685 00:20:36,123 --> 00:20:36,165 Our new anti-ageing cream offers hope, 686 00:20:36,165 --> 00:20:38,133 Our new anti-ageing cream offers hope, 687 00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:38,176 more confidence and a few less wrinkles. 688 00:20:38,176 --> 00:20:40,184 more confidence and a few less wrinkles. 689 00:20:40,184 --> 00:20:40,225 All we need is a brilliant campaign and a perfect product name. 690 00:20:40,225 --> 00:20:43,366 All we need is a brilliant campaign and a perfect product name. 691 00:20:45,042 --> 00:20:45,084 Um... Sure I can come up with something. 692 00:20:45,084 --> 00:20:48,225 Um... Sure I can come up with something. 693 00:20:50,361 --> 00:20:50,403 You men are so damn lucky you never have to worry about such things. 694 00:20:50,403 --> 00:20:54,254 You men are so damn lucky you never have to worry about such things. 695 00:20:58,818 --> 00:20:58,861 Don't be so sure. 696 00:20:58,861 --> 00:21:00,535 Don't be so sure. 697 00:21:06,272 --> 00:21:06,314 Visible. 698 00:21:06,314 --> 00:21:07,820 Visible. 699 00:21:08,870 --> 00:21:08,912 What? 700 00:21:08,912 --> 00:21:10,166 What? 701 00:21:10,166 --> 00:21:10,209 That's the name of your new product. 702 00:21:10,209 --> 00:21:12,595 That's the name of your new product. 703 00:21:12,595 --> 00:21:12,638 Visible? Mmm. 704 00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:15,149 Visible? Mmm. 705 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:15,191 I like that. 706 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,697 I like that. 707 00:21:16,697 --> 00:21:16,739 Visible. 708 00:21:16,739 --> 00:21:18,204 Visible. 709 00:21:20,592 --> 00:21:20,634 Hey, you came up with it. 710 00:21:20,634 --> 00:21:22,434 Hey, you came up with it. 711 00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:22,476 You just didn't know it. 712 00:21:22,476 --> 00:21:23,984 You just didn't know it. 713 00:21:23,984 --> 00:21:24,026 Would you excuse me for a minute? Mm-hm. 714 00:21:24,026 --> 00:21:25,910 Would you excuse me for a minute? Mm-hm. 715 00:22:36,090 --> 00:22:36,132 Aren't you glad your asshole parents worked through their shit? 716 00:22:36,132 --> 00:22:39,652 Aren't you glad your asshole parents worked through their shit? 717 00:22:39,652 --> 00:22:39,693 Yes. 718 00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,158 Yes. 719 00:22:41,158 --> 00:22:41,200 'Cause now Grandma can hold you 720 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,377 'Cause now Grandma can hold you 721 00:22:43,377 --> 00:22:43,419 without one of them thinking I'm a goddamn traitor. 722 00:22:43,419 --> 00:22:46,057 without one of them thinking I'm a goddamn traitor. 723 00:22:46,057 --> 00:22:46,099 That's right. Ohh. 724 00:22:46,099 --> 00:22:48,485 That's right. Ohh. 725 00:22:48,485 --> 00:22:48,527 Boy, you sure know how to sweet-talk a baby, Deb. 726 00:22:48,527 --> 00:22:51,625 Boy, you sure know how to sweet-talk a baby, Deb. 727 00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:51,667 I'm just glad it all worked out. 728 00:22:51,667 --> 00:22:53,301 I'm just glad it all worked out. 729 00:22:53,301 --> 00:22:53,342 Yeah. We'll see. 730 00:22:53,342 --> 00:22:55,814 Yeah. We'll see. 731 00:22:55,814 --> 00:22:55,856 Hey, Kiki, where the fuck's my check? 732 00:22:55,856 --> 00:22:57,698 Hey, Kiki, where the fuck's my check? 733 00:22:57,698 --> 00:22:57,740 I already grew tits. You want me to grow another hand? 734 00:22:57,740 --> 00:23:01,216 I already grew tits. You want me to grow another hand? 735 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:02,724 Boy, things aren't quite the same around here since you left. 736 00:23:02,724 --> 00:23:06,073 Boy, things aren't quite the same around here since you left. 737 00:23:06,073 --> 00:23:06,114 Boy, so I notice. 738 00:23:06,114 --> 00:23:07,580 Boy, so I notice. 739 00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:08,711 Excuse me. Miss. This is cold. 740 00:23:08,711 --> 00:23:11,599 Excuse me. Miss. This is cold. 741 00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:11,642 I don't know. 742 00:23:11,642 --> 00:23:13,191 I don't know. 743 00:23:13,191 --> 00:23:13,233 The way I've been feeling lately, I barely have the energy to crawl here. 744 00:23:13,233 --> 00:23:17,044 The way I've been feeling lately, I barely have the energy to crawl here. 745 00:23:17,044 --> 00:23:17,086 Have you been to see a... 746 00:23:17,086 --> 00:23:18,634 Have you been to see a... 747 00:23:18,634 --> 00:23:18,676 Five of them. All claim to have degrees. 748 00:23:18,676 --> 00:23:20,437 Five of them. All claim to have degrees. 749 00:23:20,437 --> 00:23:20,478 Not one of them says they can tell me what's wrong. 750 00:23:20,478 --> 00:23:22,697 Not one of them says they can tell me what's wrong. 751 00:23:22,697 --> 00:23:22,739 Hey, can we get a menu? 752 00:23:22,739 --> 00:23:24,247 Hey, can we get a menu? 753 00:23:24,247 --> 00:23:24,289 I asked for cream. 754 00:23:24,289 --> 00:23:26,004 I asked for cream. 755 00:23:26,004 --> 00:23:26,047 Where's my fucking lunch? 756 00:23:26,047 --> 00:23:27,679 Where's my fucking lunch? 757 00:23:27,679 --> 00:23:27,721 Your food is up. 758 00:23:27,721 --> 00:23:29,227 Your food is up. 759 00:23:29,227 --> 00:23:29,270 Ohh. 760 00:23:29,270 --> 00:23:31,030 Ohh. 761 00:23:31,030 --> 00:23:31,073 I'm a trannie on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 762 00:23:31,073 --> 00:23:33,877 I'm a trannie on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 763 00:23:35,050 --> 00:23:35,092 Sit down. Calm your nerves. 764 00:23:35,092 --> 00:23:37,102 Sit down. Calm your nerves. 765 00:23:41,456 --> 00:23:41,498 That's the fish and chips with slaw, the turkey burger with fries. 766 00:23:41,498 --> 00:23:44,638 That's the fish and chips with slaw, the turkey burger with fries. 767 00:23:44,638 --> 00:23:44,680 Here are your menus. Specials are on the board. 768 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,816 Here are your menus. Specials are on the board. 769 00:23:48,157 --> 00:23:48,198 Two percent. It's better for you than cream. 770 00:23:48,198 --> 00:23:50,626 Two percent. It's better for you than cream. 771 00:23:58,415 --> 00:23:58,457 Deb, I think I know what's wrong with you. 772 00:23:58,457 --> 00:24:00,928 Deb, I think I know what's wrong with you. 773 00:24:00,928 --> 00:24:00,969 Yeah? 774 00:24:00,969 --> 00:24:02,560 Yeah? 775 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:02,602 BFM. 776 00:24:02,602 --> 00:24:05,700 BFM. 777 00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:05,742 BFM? 778 00:24:05,742 --> 00:24:07,208 BFM? 779 00:24:09,595 --> 00:24:09,637 It sounds serious. 780 00:24:09,637 --> 00:24:11,145 It sounds serious. 781 00:24:12,191 --> 00:24:12,233 What is it? 782 00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:13,825 What is it? 783 00:24:13,825 --> 00:24:13,866 Bored out of your fucking mind. 784 00:24:13,866 --> 00:24:16,841 Bored out of your fucking mind. 785 00:24:20,692 --> 00:24:20,734 Mmm. 786 00:24:20,734 --> 00:24:22,241 Mmm. 787 00:24:23,665 --> 00:24:23,707 Listen up, straight boys. 788 00:24:23,707 --> 00:24:25,593 Listen up, straight boys. 789 00:24:25,593 --> 00:24:25,635 Take a tip from the Queer Guy. 790 00:24:25,635 --> 00:24:27,392 Take a tip from the Queer Guy. 791 00:24:27,392 --> 00:24:27,434 Wearing these will not get you where you wanna go. 792 00:24:27,434 --> 00:24:31,077 Wearing these will not get you where you wanna go. 793 00:24:31,077 --> 00:24:31,118 Comprenez-vous? 794 00:24:31,118 --> 00:24:32,584 Comprenez-vous? 795 00:24:32,584 --> 00:24:32,626 These, however, 796 00:24:32,626 --> 00:24:34,887 These, however, 797 00:24:34,887 --> 00:24:34,929 will definitely generate a little friction. 798 00:24:34,929 --> 00:24:37,232 will definitely generate a little friction. 799 00:24:37,232 --> 00:24:37,273 I know because they happen to be my very own pair. 800 00:24:37,273 --> 00:24:40,624 I know because they happen to be my very own pair. 801 00:24:40,624 --> 00:24:40,666 They set off your nice tight... assets. 802 00:24:40,666 --> 00:24:45,398 They set off your nice tight... assets. 803 00:24:45,398 --> 00:24:45,440 And notice the pouch in the crotch. 804 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:49,418 And notice the pouch in the crotch. 805 00:24:49,418 --> 00:24:49,460 If you need a little help, you can stuff a sock or hamster in there. 806 00:24:49,460 --> 00:24:54,651 If you need a little help, you can stuff a sock or hamster in there. 807 00:24:54,651 --> 00:24:54,694 I certainly don't need the cavalry to come to my rescue. 808 00:24:54,694 --> 00:24:57,414 I certainly don't need the cavalry to come to my rescue. 809 00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:57,457 My cup is filled to the rim. 810 00:24:57,457 --> 00:24:59,844 My cup is filled to the rim. 811 00:24:59,844 --> 00:24:59,887 Which leads us to another topic. 812 00:24:59,887 --> 00:25:02,776 Which leads us to another topic. 813 00:25:02,776 --> 00:25:02,818 But not tonight. 814 00:25:02,818 --> 00:25:04,325 But not tonight. 815 00:25:04,325 --> 00:25:04,367 I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous. 816 00:25:04,367 --> 00:25:07,423 I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous. 817 00:25:12,449 --> 00:25:12,490 Thank you, Queer Guy, for that brief report. 818 00:25:12,490 --> 00:25:15,882 Thank you, Queer Guy, for that brief report. 819 00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:15,923 That's the news. We'll be back at 11:00. 820 00:25:15,923 --> 00:25:18,184 That's the news. We'll be back at 11:00. 821 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:18,225 We're out. 822 00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:19,693 We're out. 823 00:25:21,996 --> 00:25:22,038 I thought you told me you were gonna talk about hair-waxing. 824 00:25:22,038 --> 00:25:25,680 I thought you told me you were gonna talk about hair-waxing. 825 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:25,723 Well, yeah, waxing is vital, but it's not sexy. 826 00:25:25,723 --> 00:25:28,862 Well, yeah, waxing is vital, but it's not sexy. 827 00:25:28,862 --> 00:25:28,904 Sexy? Who wants sexy? 828 00:25:28,904 --> 00:25:31,627 Sexy? Who wants sexy? 829 00:25:31,627 --> 00:25:31,669 Don, you've only been married a few weeks 830 00:25:31,669 --> 00:25:33,511 Don, you've only been married a few weeks 831 00:25:33,511 --> 00:25:33,553 and already you can make a statement like that? 832 00:25:33,553 --> 00:25:35,478 and already you can make a statement like that? 833 00:25:35,478 --> 00:25:35,520 You may need counselling. 834 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,070 You may need counselling. 835 00:25:37,070 --> 00:25:37,112 And you may need unemployment insurance. 836 00:25:37,112 --> 00:25:38,662 And you may need unemployment insurance. 837 00:25:40,128 --> 00:25:40,169 What? 838 00:25:40,169 --> 00:25:41,761 What? 839 00:25:41,761 --> 00:25:41,803 Don't ever show us your... shorts again. 840 00:25:41,803 --> 00:25:46,785 Don't ever show us your... shorts again. 841 00:25:46,785 --> 00:25:46,827 It's just underwear. 842 00:25:46,827 --> 00:25:48,501 It's just underwear. 843 00:25:48,501 --> 00:25:48,543 You don't have to air them in public. 844 00:25:48,543 --> 00:25:50,177 You don't have to air them in public. 845 00:25:50,177 --> 00:25:50,218 And no-one wants to know that you have a tight... 846 00:25:50,218 --> 00:25:52,773 And no-one wants to know that you have a tight... 847 00:25:56,083 --> 00:25:56,124 Ass? 848 00:25:56,124 --> 00:25:57,505 Ass? 849 00:25:57,505 --> 00:25:57,547 Or a big... Dick? 850 00:25:57,547 --> 00:25:59,765 Or a big... Dick? 851 00:25:59,765 --> 00:25:59,808 And that you... Fuck? 852 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:01,650 And that you... Fuck? 853 00:26:01,650 --> 00:26:01,692 Well, here's a piece of news for you - I do. 854 00:26:01,692 --> 00:26:04,833 Well, here's a piece of news for you - I do. 855 00:26:04,833 --> 00:26:04,874 Well, from now on, stick to cooking and flowers 856 00:26:04,874 --> 00:26:07,177 Well, from now on, stick to cooking and flowers 857 00:26:07,177 --> 00:26:07,219 and turning straight guys into metrosexuals, 858 00:26:07,219 --> 00:26:09,104 and turning straight guys into metrosexuals, 859 00:26:09,104 --> 00:26:09,146 and leave your sex life offscreen. 860 00:26:09,146 --> 00:26:11,742 and leave your sex life offscreen. 861 00:26:13,751 --> 00:26:13,792 Get McGregor on the phone now. 862 00:26:13,792 --> 00:26:15,470 Get McGregor on the phone now. 863 00:26:18,317 --> 00:26:18,359 We could turn off the back light, yeah. 864 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:20,535 We could turn off the back light, yeah. 865 00:26:23,843 --> 00:26:23,885 You can stay for at least an hour. 866 00:26:23,885 --> 00:26:25,770 You can stay for at least an hour. 867 00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:25,812 I told you, I'm making a special guest appearance 868 00:26:25,812 --> 00:26:27,780 I told you, I'm making a special guest appearance 869 00:26:27,780 --> 00:26:27,823 then I'm out of here. 870 00:26:27,823 --> 00:26:29,328 then I'm out of here. 871 00:26:29,328 --> 00:26:29,370 It's for Michael. 872 00:26:29,370 --> 00:26:30,418 It's for Michael. 873 00:26:30,418 --> 00:26:30,459 He should understand better than anyone. 874 00:26:30,459 --> 00:26:32,134 He should understand better than anyone. 875 00:26:32,134 --> 00:26:32,175 The first rule of going to a sex party is don't come late, 876 00:26:32,175 --> 00:26:34,815 The first rule of going to a sex party is don't come late, 877 00:26:34,815 --> 00:26:34,857 otherwise you may not come at all. 878 00:26:34,857 --> 00:26:36,406 otherwise you may not come at all. 879 00:26:36,406 --> 00:26:36,449 Well, that certainly gives new meaning to 880 00:26:36,449 --> 00:26:37,913 Well, that certainly gives new meaning to 881 00:26:37,913 --> 00:26:37,955 "the early bird catches the worm." 882 00:26:37,955 --> 00:26:39,797 "the early bird catches the worm." 883 00:26:39,797 --> 00:26:39,839 Hi. I'm glad you could come. 884 00:26:39,839 --> 00:26:43,106 Hi. I'm glad you could come. 885 00:26:44,402 --> 00:26:44,444 It's all I've been living for. 886 00:26:44,444 --> 00:26:46,036 It's all I've been living for. 887 00:26:46,036 --> 00:26:46,078 Happy house-warming. 888 00:26:46,078 --> 00:26:47,628 Happy house-warming. 889 00:26:50,643 --> 00:26:50,685 Is it a harness and paddle to go with the sling? 890 00:26:50,685 --> 00:26:53,072 Is it a harness and paddle to go with the sling? 891 00:26:53,072 --> 00:26:53,113 No. I picked this one. 892 00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:54,579 No. I picked this one. 893 00:26:57,509 --> 00:26:57,552 You guys have done a great job. 894 00:26:57,552 --> 00:26:59,101 You guys have done a great job. 895 00:26:59,101 --> 00:26:59,142 Oh, we're not through. 896 00:26:59,142 --> 00:27:00,650 Oh, we're not through. 897 00:27:00,650 --> 00:27:00,692 Trust me, you're never through. 898 00:27:00,692 --> 00:27:02,199 Trust me, you're never through. 899 00:27:02,199 --> 00:27:02,241 All it takes is time. 900 00:27:02,241 --> 00:27:02,397 All it takes is time. 901 00:27:02,397 --> 00:27:02,439 And money. 902 00:27:02,439 --> 00:27:03,949 And money. 903 00:27:03,949 --> 00:27:03,991 Yeah, tell me about it. 904 00:27:03,991 --> 00:27:05,500 Yeah, tell me about it. 905 00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:05,541 ok, say something for posterity. 906 00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:08,309 ok, say something for posterity. 907 00:27:08,309 --> 00:27:08,352 I'm fucking starving. 908 00:27:08,352 --> 00:27:10,198 I'm fucking starving. 909 00:27:11,414 --> 00:27:11,456 Oh. Shit. 910 00:27:11,456 --> 00:27:13,008 Oh. Shit. 911 00:27:13,008 --> 00:27:13,049 It's ok, Deb, I wanted something for posterity. 912 00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:15,900 It's ok, Deb, I wanted something for posterity. 913 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:15,942 Um... 914 00:27:15,942 --> 00:27:17,829 Um... 915 00:27:17,829 --> 00:27:17,871 Posterity. 916 00:27:17,871 --> 00:27:19,383 Posterity. 917 00:27:19,383 --> 00:27:19,425 Now, let's see. 918 00:27:19,425 --> 00:27:20,891 Now, let's see. 919 00:27:22,191 --> 00:27:22,233 I'm very proud of you both 920 00:27:22,233 --> 00:27:24,245 I'm very proud of you both 921 00:27:24,245 --> 00:27:24,287 and I wish you all the health and happiness in the world 922 00:27:24,287 --> 00:27:28,230 and I wish you all the health and happiness in the world 923 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:28,271 in your beautiful new home. 924 00:27:28,271 --> 00:27:29,865 in your beautiful new home. 925 00:27:30,916 --> 00:27:30,958 How's that? 926 00:27:30,958 --> 00:27:32,383 How's that? 927 00:27:32,383 --> 00:27:32,425 Perfect. 928 00:27:32,425 --> 00:27:33,892 Perfect. 929 00:27:36,365 --> 00:27:36,407 It's amazing what the gays have done with this neighbourhood. 930 00:27:36,407 --> 00:27:39,511 It's amazing what the gays have done with this neighbourhood. 931 00:27:39,511 --> 00:27:39,553 It used to be whorehouses and bookie joints. 932 00:27:39,553 --> 00:27:41,694 It used to be whorehouses and bookie joints. 933 00:27:41,694 --> 00:27:41,736 I know. I used to hang out here all the time. 934 00:27:41,736 --> 00:27:43,999 I know. I used to hang out here all the time. 935 00:27:43,999 --> 00:27:44,041 Really? 936 00:27:44,041 --> 00:27:45,509 Really? 937 00:27:45,509 --> 00:27:45,550 When I was a beat cop. 938 00:27:45,550 --> 00:27:47,061 When I was a beat cop. 939 00:27:47,061 --> 00:27:47,102 I'll get it. 940 00:27:47,102 --> 00:27:48,613 I'll get it. 941 00:27:52,344 --> 00:27:52,387 Hi. Come on in. 942 00:27:52,387 --> 00:27:53,981 Hi. Come on in. 943 00:27:53,981 --> 00:27:54,022 Hey, honey bun. 944 00:27:54,022 --> 00:27:55,490 Hey, honey bun. 945 00:27:56,581 --> 00:27:56,622 Thanks for inviting me, 946 00:27:56,622 --> 00:27:58,424 Thanks for inviting me, 947 00:27:58,424 --> 00:27:58,466 even though... I mean... 948 00:27:58,466 --> 00:28:01,192 even though... I mean... 949 00:28:01,192 --> 00:28:01,234 We're still family, aren't we? 950 00:28:01,234 --> 00:28:02,955 We're still family, aren't we? 951 00:28:05,430 --> 00:28:05,473 Happy new house. 952 00:28:05,473 --> 00:28:07,065 Happy new house. 953 00:28:07,065 --> 00:28:07,106 Thanks. Do you mind if I show her off? 954 00:28:07,106 --> 00:28:09,161 Thanks. Do you mind if I show her off? 955 00:28:09,161 --> 00:28:09,203 Be my guest. 956 00:28:09,203 --> 00:28:10,671 Be my guest. 957 00:28:13,062 --> 00:28:13,104 Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter. 958 00:28:13,104 --> 00:28:15,913 Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter. 959 00:28:15,913 --> 00:28:15,956 Aww. 960 00:28:15,956 --> 00:28:18,765 Aww. 961 00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:18,808 Hi, baby. 962 00:28:18,808 --> 00:28:20,778 Hi, baby. 963 00:28:20,778 --> 00:28:20,820 Ah, look who it is. 964 00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:22,456 Ah, look who it is. 965 00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:24,848 First I'm gonna give him the fucking of his life 966 00:28:24,848 --> 00:28:26,942 First I'm gonna give him the fucking of his life 967 00:28:26,942 --> 00:28:26,985 and then I'm gonna give him the mindfucking of his life. 968 00:28:26,985 --> 00:28:29,248 and then I'm gonna give him the mindfucking of his life. 969 00:28:29,248 --> 00:28:29,291 I'm gonna say, "Once I was your pity fuck, 970 00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:31,136 I'm gonna say, "Once I was your pity fuck, 971 00:28:31,136 --> 00:28:31,178 "but tonight you're mine, you arrogant asshole." 972 00:28:31,178 --> 00:28:33,276 "but tonight you're mine, you arrogant asshole." 973 00:28:33,276 --> 00:28:33,318 Speaking of which... 974 00:28:33,318 --> 00:28:36,086 Speaking of which... 975 00:28:36,086 --> 00:28:36,128 Aren't you two aunties gonna go ooh and ahh over the baby? 976 00:28:36,128 --> 00:28:39,105 Aren't you two aunties gonna go ooh and ahh over the baby? 977 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:42,082 Caught your underpants on the news the other night. 978 00:28:42,082 --> 00:28:44,220 Caught your underpants on the news the other night. 979 00:28:45,563 --> 00:28:45,607 You saving your dick for sweeps? 980 00:28:45,607 --> 00:28:47,701 You saving your dick for sweeps? 981 00:28:47,701 --> 00:28:47,745 My producer happened to think it was a terrific segment. 982 00:28:47,745 --> 00:28:50,387 My producer happened to think it was a terrific segment. 983 00:28:50,387 --> 00:28:50,429 Yeah, he said it was about time 984 00:28:50,429 --> 00:28:52,692 Yeah, he said it was about time 985 00:28:52,692 --> 00:28:52,734 we saw gay people as full sexualised human beings, 986 00:28:52,734 --> 00:28:55,587 we saw gay people as full sexualised human beings, 987 00:28:55,587 --> 00:28:55,629 not just stereotypic eunuchs and clowns. 988 00:28:55,629 --> 00:28:58,397 not just stereotypic eunuchs and clowns. 989 00:29:00,493 --> 00:29:00,535 Now, if you'll excuse me. 990 00:29:00,535 --> 00:29:02,045 Now, if you'll excuse me. 991 00:29:10,307 --> 00:29:10,349 Your daughter's a hit. 992 00:29:10,349 --> 00:29:12,027 Your daughter's a hit. 993 00:29:12,027 --> 00:29:12,069 Hmm. I'd say so. 994 00:29:12,069 --> 00:29:13,577 Hmm. I'd say so. 995 00:29:15,589 --> 00:29:15,632 I'm glad you came. 996 00:29:15,632 --> 00:29:17,603 I'm glad you came. 997 00:29:17,603 --> 00:29:17,645 Mmm... For no other reason, I'm starving. 998 00:29:17,645 --> 00:29:20,749 Mmm... For no other reason, I'm starving. 999 00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:23,013 Makes me think of our house-warming. 1000 00:29:23,013 --> 00:29:25,571 Makes me think of our house-warming. 1001 00:29:27,123 --> 00:29:27,165 Huh. 1002 00:29:27,165 --> 00:29:28,801 Huh. 1003 00:29:28,801 --> 00:29:28,843 If anyone needs proof that toilets are controlled by cosmic forces... 1004 00:29:28,843 --> 00:29:31,946 If anyone needs proof that toilets are controlled by cosmic forces... 1005 00:29:31,946 --> 00:29:31,988 Why else would they break down 10 minutes before the guests showed up? 1006 00:29:31,988 --> 00:29:35,092 Why else would they break down 10 minutes before the guests showed up? 1007 00:29:35,092 --> 00:29:35,133 100 dykes peeing in the backyard. 1008 00:29:35,133 --> 00:29:37,063 100 dykes peeing in the backyard. 1009 00:29:37,063 --> 00:29:37,105 The bushes in the bushes. 1010 00:29:37,105 --> 00:29:38,570 The bushes in the bushes. 1011 00:29:47,546 --> 00:29:47,589 Everybody... Could we have your attention? 1012 00:29:47,589 --> 00:29:50,608 Everybody... Could we have your attention? 1013 00:29:50,608 --> 00:29:50,649 We'd just like to welcome all of you to our new home. 1014 00:29:50,649 --> 00:29:55,935 We'd just like to welcome all of you to our new home. 1015 00:29:55,935 --> 00:29:55,977 Beautiful new home. 1016 00:29:55,977 --> 00:29:57,781 Beautiful new home. 1017 00:29:57,781 --> 00:29:57,822 And we look forward to sharing many happy family occasions here together. 1018 00:29:57,822 --> 00:30:03,064 And we look forward to sharing many happy family occasions here together. 1019 00:30:03,064 --> 00:30:03,106 Hear, hear. 1020 00:30:03,106 --> 00:30:05,161 Hear, hear. 1021 00:30:05,161 --> 00:30:05,203 Happy family occasions. 1022 00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:07,300 Happy family occasions. 1023 00:30:07,300 --> 00:30:07,343 We also have another reason to celebrate tonight. 1024 00:30:07,343 --> 00:30:10,529 We also have another reason to celebrate tonight. 1025 00:30:11,577 --> 00:30:11,619 Rage and J.T. are getting married. 1026 00:30:11,619 --> 00:30:15,686 Rage and J.T. are getting married. 1027 00:30:15,686 --> 00:30:15,728 It's about time those two superheroes settled down. 1028 00:30:15,728 --> 00:30:18,204 It's about time those two superheroes settled down. 1029 00:30:18,204 --> 00:30:18,245 When do they start raising a superfamily? 1030 00:30:18,245 --> 00:30:20,720 When do they start raising a superfamily? 1031 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:20,762 That's next. 1032 00:30:20,762 --> 00:30:22,313 That's next. 1033 00:30:22,313 --> 00:30:22,355 Got a copy for everyone. Our little house-warming gift to you. 1034 00:30:22,355 --> 00:30:25,417 Got a copy for everyone. Our little house-warming gift to you. 1035 00:30:25,417 --> 00:30:25,458 Thank you. 1036 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:26,968 Thank you. 1037 00:30:26,968 --> 00:30:27,009 Here you go, Brian. 1038 00:30:27,009 --> 00:30:28,814 Here you go, Brian. 1039 00:30:33,383 --> 00:30:33,426 Here you are. 1040 00:30:33,426 --> 00:30:34,979 Here you are. 1041 00:30:34,979 --> 00:30:35,021 Do you like it? 1042 00:30:35,021 --> 00:30:36,488 Do you like it? 1043 00:30:38,041 --> 00:30:38,083 It reminds me of this Norman Rockwell 1044 00:30:38,083 --> 00:30:40,095 It reminds me of this Norman Rockwell 1045 00:30:40,095 --> 00:30:40,136 I saw in the doctor's office when I was a kid. 1046 00:30:40,136 --> 00:30:42,443 I saw in the doctor's office when I was a kid. 1047 00:30:42,443 --> 00:30:42,485 A little girl and boy dressed as bride and groom 1048 00:30:42,485 --> 00:30:46,468 A little girl and boy dressed as bride and groom 1049 00:30:46,468 --> 00:30:46,511 and their adorable puppy tugging on the bridal gown. 1050 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:49,907 and their adorable puppy tugging on the bridal gown. 1051 00:30:49,907 --> 00:30:49,950 Just then the nurse came in and stabbed me in the finger for blood. 1052 00:30:49,950 --> 00:30:53,305 Just then the nurse came in and stabbed me in the finger for blood. 1053 00:30:53,305 --> 00:30:53,346 And you've had an aversion to marriage ever since? 1054 00:30:53,346 --> 00:30:56,031 And you've had an aversion to marriage ever since? 1055 00:30:56,031 --> 00:30:56,072 Well, I happen to think it's a damn good story. 1056 00:30:56,072 --> 00:30:58,673 Well, I happen to think it's a damn good story. 1057 00:30:58,673 --> 00:30:58,715 Just because it doesn't agree with your anti-family values 1058 00:30:58,715 --> 00:31:01,609 Just because it doesn't agree with your anti-family values 1059 00:31:01,609 --> 00:31:01,651 is no reason to dump on it. 1060 00:31:01,651 --> 00:31:03,118 is no reason to dump on it. 1061 00:31:05,341 --> 00:31:05,383 ok. 1062 00:31:05,383 --> 00:31:06,893 ok. 1063 00:31:15,951 --> 00:31:15,993 Let's get the whole family. 1064 00:31:15,993 --> 00:31:17,544 Let's get the whole family. 1065 00:31:17,544 --> 00:31:17,587 How do you work this thing? 1066 00:31:17,587 --> 00:31:19,139 How do you work this thing? 1067 00:31:19,139 --> 00:31:19,181 Good idea. I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter. 1068 00:31:19,181 --> 00:31:21,488 Good idea. I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter. 1069 00:31:21,488 --> 00:31:21,529 ok. 1070 00:31:21,529 --> 00:31:22,997 ok. 1071 00:31:25,848 --> 00:31:25,890 Hey, pal. We're taking a video of the whole family. Care to join us? 1072 00:31:25,890 --> 00:31:29,666 Hey, pal. We're taking a video of the whole family. Care to join us? 1073 00:31:29,666 --> 00:31:29,708 What do you want me for? 1074 00:31:29,708 --> 00:31:31,259 What do you want me for? 1075 00:32:16,090 --> 00:32:16,132 If a better offer comes along... 1076 00:32:16,132 --> 00:32:18,270 If a better offer comes along... 1077 00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:41,462 That'll be $5.25. 1078 00:32:41,462 --> 00:32:41,960 That'll be $5.25. 1079 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:42,002 Thanks. 1080 00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:43,641 Thanks. 1081 00:32:43,641 --> 00:32:43,683 Another satisfied customer. 1082 00:32:43,683 --> 00:32:45,745 Another satisfied customer. 1083 00:32:47,339 --> 00:32:47,382 You know, you say that every time you sell one. 1084 00:32:47,382 --> 00:32:49,652 You know, you say that every time you sell one. 1085 00:32:49,652 --> 00:32:49,694 I do? Well, it must be true. 1086 00:32:49,694 --> 00:32:51,798 I do? Well, it must be true. 1087 00:32:51,798 --> 00:32:51,839 We've sold 536 copies on the website and almost 200 here in the store. 1088 00:32:51,839 --> 00:32:55,371 We've sold 536 copies on the website and almost 200 here in the store. 1089 00:32:55,371 --> 00:32:55,412 Those are all we have left. 1090 00:32:55,412 --> 00:32:57,514 Those are all we have left. 1091 00:32:57,514 --> 00:32:57,556 Everybody loves that J.T. finally got his man. 1092 00:32:57,556 --> 00:32:59,910 Everybody loves that J.T. finally got his man. 1093 00:32:59,910 --> 00:32:59,952 Yeah. Everyone but you know who. 1094 00:32:59,952 --> 00:33:02,935 Yeah. Everyone but you know who. 1095 00:33:02,935 --> 00:33:02,978 Yeah, I do know who. 1096 00:33:02,978 --> 00:33:05,164 Yeah, I do know who. 1097 00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:06,343 Well? 1098 00:33:06,343 --> 00:33:07,393 Well? 1099 00:33:07,393 --> 00:33:07,435 Well, what did you expect? 1100 00:33:07,435 --> 00:33:09,074 Well, what did you expect? 1101 00:33:09,074 --> 00:33:09,115 What did I expect? 1102 00:33:09,115 --> 00:33:11,176 What did I expect? 1103 00:33:12,563 --> 00:33:12,606 That life might imitate art. 1104 00:33:12,606 --> 00:33:14,749 That life might imitate art. 1105 00:33:14,749 --> 00:33:14,791 I've heard it's been known to happen. 1106 00:33:14,791 --> 00:33:18,489 I've heard it's been known to happen. 1107 00:33:18,489 --> 00:33:18,532 Ah, how could I have been suckered in to my own fantasy? 1108 00:33:18,532 --> 00:33:21,223 Ah, how could I have been suckered in to my own fantasy? 1109 00:33:21,223 --> 00:33:21,265 Talk about pathetic. 1110 00:33:21,265 --> 00:33:23,031 Talk about pathetic. 1111 00:33:23,031 --> 00:33:23,073 Nobody on earth knows better than I do 1112 00:33:23,073 --> 00:33:25,972 Nobody on earth knows better than I do 1113 00:33:25,972 --> 00:33:26,014 that unless he were genetically altered by some nuclear mishap, 1114 00:33:26,014 --> 00:33:28,959 that unless he were genetically altered by some nuclear mishap, 1115 00:33:28,959 --> 00:33:29,000 that could never happen. 1116 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,186 that could never happen. 1117 00:33:31,186 --> 00:33:31,229 Not a bad story. 1118 00:33:31,229 --> 00:33:33,161 Not a bad story. 1119 00:33:33,161 --> 00:33:33,202 Mm. But that's all it is. It's a story. 1120 00:33:33,202 --> 00:33:36,229 Mm. But that's all it is. It's a story. 1121 00:33:38,668 --> 00:33:38,710 Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'? 1122 00:33:38,710 --> 00:33:41,274 Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'? 1123 00:33:43,039 --> 00:33:43,082 This is totally awesome. 1124 00:33:43,082 --> 00:33:45,142 This is totally awesome. 1125 00:33:48,841 --> 00:33:48,883 Another satisfied customer. 1126 00:33:48,883 --> 00:33:51,195 Another satisfied customer. 1127 00:33:56,323 --> 00:33:56,366 Well, I think the house has been officially warmed, 1128 00:33:56,366 --> 00:34:00,948 Well, I think the house has been officially warmed, 1129 00:34:00,948 --> 00:34:00,990 wouldn't you say? 1130 00:34:00,990 --> 00:34:03,260 wouldn't you say? 1131 00:34:05,361 --> 00:34:05,403 Great party, huh? 1132 00:34:05,403 --> 00:34:06,959 Great party, huh? 1133 00:34:06,959 --> 00:34:07,002 Everybody seemed to have a good time. 1134 00:34:07,002 --> 00:34:10,028 Everybody seemed to have a good time. 1135 00:34:11,078 --> 00:34:11,119 Yeah. 1136 00:34:11,119 --> 00:34:13,560 Yeah. 1137 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:13,602 If you call Melanie and Lindsay declaring a cease-fire, 1138 00:34:13,602 --> 00:34:16,712 If you call Melanie and Lindsay declaring a cease-fire, 1139 00:34:16,712 --> 00:34:16,754 Brian leaving to go to a sex party 1140 00:34:16,754 --> 00:34:19,780 Brian leaving to go to a sex party 1141 00:34:19,780 --> 00:34:19,822 and you and Michael sticking that fucking camera in my face, 1142 00:34:19,822 --> 00:34:22,471 and you and Michael sticking that fucking camera in my face, 1143 00:34:22,471 --> 00:34:22,512 pretending we're this happy family, 1144 00:34:22,512 --> 00:34:24,027 pretending we're this happy family, 1145 00:34:24,027 --> 00:34:24,068 having a good time. 1146 00:34:24,068 --> 00:34:25,581 having a good time. 1147 00:34:25,581 --> 00:34:25,624 We're not pretending. We are. 1148 00:34:25,624 --> 00:34:27,642 We're not pretending. We are. 1149 00:34:32,895 --> 00:34:32,937 You're gonna get through this. 1150 00:34:32,937 --> 00:34:36,259 You're gonna get through this. 1151 00:34:36,259 --> 00:34:36,301 I promise. 1152 00:34:36,301 --> 00:34:38,906 I promise. 1153 00:34:38,906 --> 00:34:38,948 Fuck your false hope. 1154 00:34:38,948 --> 00:34:40,589 Fuck your false hope. 1155 00:34:42,395 --> 00:34:42,437 The world's a stinking shit-hole. 1156 00:34:42,437 --> 00:34:44,960 The world's a stinking shit-hole. 1157 00:34:49,583 --> 00:34:49,626 Well, I don't think Sartre could have said it any better. 1158 00:34:49,626 --> 00:34:53,661 Well, I don't think Sartre could have said it any better. 1159 00:34:53,661 --> 00:34:53,705 Who? 1160 00:34:53,705 --> 00:34:55,469 Who? 1161 00:34:58,077 --> 00:34:58,118 Listen, I found a great charter school. 1162 00:34:58,118 --> 00:35:02,027 Listen, I found a great charter school. 1163 00:35:02,027 --> 00:35:02,070 They have a waiting list a mile long 1164 00:35:02,070 --> 00:35:03,877 They have a waiting list a mile long 1165 00:35:03,877 --> 00:35:03,919 but a professor in my department is on the board, 1166 00:35:03,919 --> 00:35:05,937 but a professor in my department is on the board, 1167 00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:05,979 so I pulled a few strings... 1168 00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:07,492 so I pulled a few strings... 1169 00:35:07,492 --> 00:35:07,534 Why even bother? Huh? 1170 00:35:07,534 --> 00:35:09,889 Why even bother? Huh? 1171 00:35:09,889 --> 00:35:09,931 They'll just find out there, too, 1172 00:35:09,931 --> 00:35:11,484 They'll just find out there, too, 1173 00:35:11,484 --> 00:35:11,529 and then it will start all over again. 1174 00:35:11,529 --> 00:35:13,125 and then it will start all over again. 1175 00:35:15,311 --> 00:35:15,354 So what's the point of my going to another fucking school?! 1176 00:35:15,354 --> 00:35:18,841 So what's the point of my going to another fucking school?! 1177 00:35:31,370 --> 00:35:31,412 I haven't been here since you left. 1178 00:35:31,412 --> 00:35:34,269 I haven't been here since you left. 1179 00:35:34,269 --> 00:35:34,311 Somehow, it's not the same. 1180 00:35:34,311 --> 00:35:36,960 Somehow, it's not the same. 1181 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:37,002 Yeah. 1182 00:35:37,002 --> 00:35:38,641 Yeah. 1183 00:35:38,641 --> 00:35:38,684 Neither am I. 1184 00:35:38,684 --> 00:35:40,618 Neither am I. 1185 00:35:42,005 --> 00:35:42,046 Carl? 1186 00:35:42,046 --> 00:35:43,055 Carl? 1187 00:35:44,737 --> 00:35:44,780 Honey, I found out what's wrong with me. 1188 00:35:44,780 --> 00:35:47,553 Honey, I found out what's wrong with me. 1189 00:35:50,285 --> 00:35:50,327 I just want you to know... 1190 00:35:50,327 --> 00:35:52,051 I just want you to know... 1191 00:35:53,187 --> 00:35:53,229 ..that whatever it is... 1192 00:35:53,229 --> 00:35:55,331 ..that whatever it is... 1193 00:35:57,138 --> 00:35:57,179 ..I'm in this for the long haul. 1194 00:35:57,179 --> 00:35:59,365 ..I'm in this for the long haul. 1195 00:35:59,365 --> 00:35:59,407 I'll stand by you. I'm not going anywhere. 1196 00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:01,425 I'll stand by you. I'm not going anywhere. 1197 00:36:03,233 --> 00:36:03,275 I know that, sweetheart. That's why I love you. 1198 00:36:03,275 --> 00:36:06,260 I know that, sweetheart. That's why I love you. 1199 00:36:06,260 --> 00:36:06,301 ok. Tell me. No, wait. 1200 00:36:06,301 --> 00:36:09,287 ok. Tell me. No, wait. 1201 00:36:09,287 --> 00:36:09,328 Wait. 1202 00:36:09,328 --> 00:36:11,137 Wait. 1203 00:36:12,396 --> 00:36:12,438 ok. Tell me. 1204 00:36:12,438 --> 00:36:15,004 ok. Tell me. 1205 00:36:15,004 --> 00:36:15,047 First of all, 1206 00:36:15,047 --> 00:36:16,937 First of all, 1207 00:36:16,937 --> 00:36:16,979 it's not a physical thing. 1208 00:36:16,979 --> 00:36:18,493 it's not a physical thing. 1209 00:36:18,493 --> 00:36:18,534 Oh! Ooh! 1210 00:36:18,534 --> 00:36:21,226 Oh! Ooh! 1211 00:36:22,402 --> 00:36:22,443 That's a relief. 1212 00:36:22,443 --> 00:36:23,959 That's a relief. 1213 00:36:25,220 --> 00:36:25,262 Then, what? 1214 00:36:25,262 --> 00:36:26,524 Then, what? 1215 00:36:28,623 --> 00:36:28,665 It's hard to explain. 1216 00:36:28,665 --> 00:36:31,273 It's hard to explain. 1217 00:36:33,290 --> 00:36:33,333 Ever since I left here, I've felt lost. 1218 00:36:33,333 --> 00:36:35,685 Ever since I left here, I've felt lost. 1219 00:36:35,685 --> 00:36:35,727 I've no place to go, 1220 00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:38,924 I've no place to go, 1221 00:36:38,924 --> 00:36:38,966 I got nothing to do but sit at home 1222 00:36:38,966 --> 00:36:40,983 I got nothing to do but sit at home 1223 00:36:40,983 --> 00:36:41,024 and buy lots of shit that I don't want off TV. 1224 00:36:41,024 --> 00:36:43,295 and buy lots of shit that I don't want off TV. 1225 00:36:43,295 --> 00:36:43,336 That's what a lady of leisure's supposed to do. 1226 00:36:43,336 --> 00:36:45,395 That's what a lady of leisure's supposed to do. 1227 00:36:45,395 --> 00:36:45,439 I mean, you know, relax, enjoy yourself 1228 00:36:45,439 --> 00:36:49,770 I mean, you know, relax, enjoy yourself 1229 00:36:49,770 --> 00:36:49,811 and be glad you don't have to work. 1230 00:36:49,811 --> 00:36:51,913 and be glad you don't have to work. 1231 00:36:51,913 --> 00:36:51,955 It's funny. I never thought of it as work. 1232 00:36:51,955 --> 00:36:54,350 It's funny. I never thought of it as work. 1233 00:36:54,350 --> 00:36:54,393 All those long, hard hours, on your feet... 1234 00:36:54,393 --> 00:36:57,756 All those long, hard hours, on your feet... 1235 00:36:57,756 --> 00:36:57,797 ..juggling plates. 1236 00:36:57,797 --> 00:37:00,067 ..juggling plates. 1237 00:37:00,067 --> 00:37:00,109 To me, it was more like a dance. 1238 00:37:00,109 --> 00:37:02,758 To me, it was more like a dance. 1239 00:37:02,758 --> 00:37:02,800 And I was the prima ballerina. 1240 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,657 And I was the prima ballerina. 1241 00:37:05,657 --> 00:37:05,699 This is not exactly the, uh... 1242 00:37:05,699 --> 00:37:08,476 This is not exactly the, uh... 1243 00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:08,518 ..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh. 1244 00:37:08,518 --> 00:37:10,746 ..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh. 1245 00:37:12,174 --> 00:37:12,217 But it's my job. 1246 00:37:12,217 --> 00:37:13,730 But it's my job. 1247 00:37:15,369 --> 00:37:15,411 No, it's more than a job. 1248 00:37:15,411 --> 00:37:17,764 No, it's more than a job. 1249 00:37:17,764 --> 00:37:17,807 It's who I am. 1250 00:37:17,807 --> 00:37:20,037 It's who I am. 1251 00:37:22,179 --> 00:37:22,222 And I want it back. 1252 00:37:22,222 --> 00:37:23,946 And I want it back. 1253 00:37:27,939 --> 00:37:27,981 I-I was just... 1254 00:37:27,981 --> 00:37:30,125 I-I was just... 1255 00:37:30,125 --> 00:37:30,166 ..trying to make it easier on... on you. 1256 00:37:30,166 --> 00:37:33,361 ..trying to make it easier on... on you. 1257 00:37:33,361 --> 00:37:33,403 But... if this'll make you happy... 1258 00:37:33,403 --> 00:37:38,068 But... if this'll make you happy... 1259 00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:39,667 ..like I said, I'll stand by you. 1260 00:37:39,667 --> 00:37:42,695 ..like I said, I'll stand by you. 1261 00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:42,736 Uh, I'm not going anywhere. 1262 00:37:42,736 --> 00:37:44,458 Uh, I'm not going anywhere. 1263 00:37:46,561 --> 00:37:46,602 Thank you, Carl. 1264 00:37:46,602 --> 00:37:49,251 Thank you, Carl. 1265 00:37:51,648 --> 00:37:51,690 Now, you sure you're ok with this? 1266 00:37:51,690 --> 00:37:54,338 Now, you sure you're ok with this? 1267 00:37:55,809 --> 00:37:55,850 100% sure. 1268 00:37:55,850 --> 00:37:57,407 100% sure. 1269 00:37:57,407 --> 00:37:57,449 Good. 1270 00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:59,801 Good. 1271 00:37:59,801 --> 00:37:59,843 'Cause my shift started five minutes ago. 1272 00:37:59,843 --> 00:38:02,323 'Cause my shift started five minutes ago. 1273 00:38:05,100 --> 00:38:05,142 So... 1274 00:38:05,142 --> 00:38:06,653 So... 1275 00:38:06,653 --> 00:38:06,695 ..what'll it be? 1276 00:38:06,695 --> 00:38:08,966 ..what'll it be? 1277 00:38:19,938 --> 00:38:19,980 Ah! 1278 00:38:19,980 --> 00:38:21,578 Ah! 1279 00:38:21,578 --> 00:38:21,619 Whoo! 1280 00:38:21,619 --> 00:38:23,174 Whoo! 1281 00:38:23,174 --> 00:38:23,215 That was hot! 1282 00:38:23,215 --> 00:38:25,151 That was hot! 1283 00:38:27,715 --> 00:38:27,757 Think so? 1284 00:38:27,757 --> 00:38:29,313 Think so? 1285 00:38:29,313 --> 00:38:29,355 Yeah. 1286 00:38:29,355 --> 00:38:31,036 Yeah. 1287 00:38:32,591 --> 00:38:32,633 You know, I've been here before. 1288 00:38:32,633 --> 00:38:36,921 You know, I've been here before. 1289 00:38:36,921 --> 00:38:36,963 Oh? 1290 00:38:36,963 --> 00:38:42,054 Oh? 1291 00:38:42,054 --> 00:38:42,096 I mean, in this building. 1292 00:38:42,096 --> 00:38:44,179 I mean, in this building. 1293 00:38:44,179 --> 00:38:44,221 Fucked some poor loser. 1294 00:38:44,221 --> 00:38:46,305 Fucked some poor loser. 1295 00:38:47,889 --> 00:38:47,931 Yeah, well, the place is crawling with them. 1296 00:38:47,931 --> 00:38:50,974 Yeah, well, the place is crawling with them. 1297 00:38:50,974 --> 00:38:51,014 Believe me, I know. 1298 00:38:51,014 --> 00:38:52,722 Believe me, I know. 1299 00:38:52,722 --> 00:38:52,764 Hmm. 1300 00:38:52,764 --> 00:38:54,890 Hmm. 1301 00:38:54,890 --> 00:38:54,932 One of my pity fucks. 1302 00:38:54,932 --> 00:38:56,974 One of my pity fucks. 1303 00:38:56,974 --> 00:38:57,015 Yeah, speaking of pity fucks... 1304 00:38:57,015 --> 00:38:59,390 Yeah, speaking of pity fucks... 1305 00:38:59,390 --> 00:38:59,431 You know, 1306 00:38:59,431 --> 00:39:00,975 You know, 1307 00:39:00,975 --> 00:39:01,016 when we first hooked up at the gym, I wasn't sure. 1308 00:39:01,016 --> 00:39:04,350 when we first hooked up at the gym, I wasn't sure. 1309 00:39:04,350 --> 00:39:04,392 That I was your type? 1310 00:39:04,392 --> 00:39:06,016 That I was your type? 1311 00:39:06,016 --> 00:39:06,058 That you'd be so... hot. 1312 00:39:06,058 --> 00:39:08,933 That you'd be so... hot. 1313 00:39:08,933 --> 00:39:08,976 But, man, are you ever. 1314 00:39:08,976 --> 00:39:11,141 But, man, are you ever. 1315 00:39:12,726 --> 00:39:12,768 Look. 1316 00:39:12,768 --> 00:39:14,308 Look. 1317 00:39:14,308 --> 00:39:14,351 I'm still hard. 1318 00:39:14,351 --> 00:39:17,561 I'm still hard. 1319 00:39:17,561 --> 00:39:17,602 You up for another round? 1320 00:39:17,602 --> 00:39:20,144 You up for another round? 1321 00:39:22,436 --> 00:39:22,477 Actually, there's something I want to say to you. 1322 00:39:22,477 --> 00:39:24,979 Actually, there's something I want to say to you. 1323 00:39:24,979 --> 00:39:25,019 That you want to roll me over and fuck me again? 1324 00:39:25,019 --> 00:39:28,018 That you want to roll me over and fuck me again? 1325 00:39:32,146 --> 00:39:32,187 What I want to... 1326 00:39:32,187 --> 00:39:33,937 What I want to... 1327 00:39:35,397 --> 00:39:35,438 ..what I want to say to... to you... 1328 00:39:35,438 --> 00:39:37,981 ..what I want to say to... to you... 1329 00:39:39,063 --> 00:39:39,105 ..is, uh... 1330 00:39:39,105 --> 00:39:40,856 ..is, uh... 1331 00:39:43,814 --> 00:39:43,856 Roll over. 1332 00:39:43,856 --> 00:39:46,106 Roll over. 1333 00:39:48,482 --> 00:39:48,523 Oh, yeah. 1334 00:39:48,523 --> 00:39:50,982 Oh, yeah. 1335 00:39:52,065 --> 00:39:52,106 Michael, we can't force him to go to school. 1336 00:39:52,106 --> 00:39:54,899 Michael, we can't force him to go to school. 1337 00:39:54,899 --> 00:39:54,941 Of course we can. We're his parents. Hell, he's only 17. 1338 00:39:54,941 --> 00:39:57,816 Of course we can. We're his parents. Hell, he's only 17. 1339 00:39:57,816 --> 00:39:57,858 You can quit school when you're 16. 1340 00:39:57,858 --> 00:39:59,984 You can quit school when you're 16. 1341 00:39:59,984 --> 00:40:00,025 Besides, if we pressure him, we'll only push him away more. 1342 00:40:00,025 --> 00:40:02,651 Besides, if we pressure him, we'll only push him away more. 1343 00:40:02,651 --> 00:40:02,693 He's got to finish high school 1344 00:40:02,693 --> 00:40:04,774 He's got to finish high school 1345 00:40:04,774 --> 00:40:04,816 so he can go to college and become a doctor and a lawyer 1346 00:40:04,816 --> 00:40:07,443 so he can go to college and become a doctor and a lawyer 1347 00:40:07,443 --> 00:40:07,484 and President of the United States. 1348 00:40:07,484 --> 00:40:09,735 and President of the United States. 1349 00:40:12,234 --> 00:40:12,276 What was that for? 1350 00:40:12,276 --> 00:40:13,860 What was that for? 1351 00:40:13,860 --> 00:40:13,900 The eternal optimist. That's why I love you. 1352 00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:15,986 The eternal optimist. That's why I love you. 1353 00:40:15,986 --> 00:40:16,026 Now, let's just give him some time and some space 1354 00:40:16,026 --> 00:40:18,820 Now, let's just give him some time and some space 1355 00:40:18,820 --> 00:40:18,862 and, hopefully, he'll come to the right decision. 1356 00:40:18,862 --> 00:40:21,029 and, hopefully, he'll come to the right decision. 1357 00:40:28,363 --> 00:40:28,404 Oh. Hey, I was just about to call you for dinner. 1358 00:40:28,404 --> 00:40:31,947 Oh. Hey, I was just about to call you for dinner. 1359 00:40:31,947 --> 00:40:31,988 But just 'cause I said we're having sloppy joes 1360 00:40:31,988 --> 00:40:33,946 But just 'cause I said we're having sloppy joes 1361 00:40:33,946 --> 00:40:33,988 doesn't mean we're gonna go camping. 1362 00:40:33,988 --> 00:40:35,529 doesn't mean we're gonna go camping. 1363 00:40:35,529 --> 00:40:35,571 Going somewhere? Yeah. 1364 00:40:35,571 --> 00:40:38,531 Going somewhere? Yeah. 1365 00:40:38,531 --> 00:40:38,573 Well, uh, eat first and don't be out too late. 1366 00:40:38,573 --> 00:40:41,613 Well, uh, eat first and don't be out too late. 1367 00:40:41,613 --> 00:40:41,655 I mean, I'm leaving. 1368 00:40:41,655 --> 00:40:43,865 I mean, I'm leaving. 1369 00:40:44,907 --> 00:40:44,949 For good. 1370 00:40:44,949 --> 00:40:46,948 For good. 1371 00:40:50,283 --> 00:40:50,324 What do you mean you're... 1372 00:40:50,324 --> 00:40:52,284 What do you mean you're... 1373 00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:52,324 I can't stay here anymore, ok? 1374 00:40:52,324 --> 00:40:54,283 I can't stay here anymore, ok? 1375 00:40:54,283 --> 00:40:54,324 No. It's not ok. 1376 00:40:54,324 --> 00:40:56,200 No. It's not ok. 1377 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:56,242 Now, put your things away 1378 00:40:56,242 --> 00:40:58,575 Now, put your things away 1379 00:40:58,575 --> 00:40:58,616 and sit down and eat 1380 00:40:58,616 --> 00:41:00,117 and sit down and eat 1381 00:41:00,117 --> 00:41:00,160 and, afterwards, we'll discuss this. 1382 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,703 and, afterwards, we'll discuss this. 1383 00:41:01,703 --> 00:41:01,745 We've already discussed it. There's nothing left to say. 1384 00:41:01,745 --> 00:41:04,744 We've already discussed it. There's nothing left to say. 1385 00:41:04,744 --> 00:41:04,827 Well, I said you're not going anywhere and that's final. 1386 00:41:04,827 --> 00:41:06,868 Well, I said you're not going anywhere and that's final. 1387 00:41:06,868 --> 00:41:06,909 Hey, Michael! Michael. What? He can't just leave! 1388 00:41:06,909 --> 00:41:08,909 Hey, Michael! Michael. What? He can't just leave! 1389 00:41:08,909 --> 00:41:08,952 We're his parents, for Christ's sake, whether he likes it or not. 1390 00:41:08,952 --> 00:41:11,412 We're his parents, for Christ's sake, whether he likes it or not. 1391 00:41:11,412 --> 00:41:11,453 We're his legal guardians. What we say goes. 1392 00:41:11,453 --> 00:41:13,536 We're his legal guardians. What we say goes. 1393 00:41:13,536 --> 00:41:13,578 Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved by running away. 1394 00:41:13,578 --> 00:41:15,162 Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved by running away. 1395 00:41:15,162 --> 00:41:15,202 I don't belong here! I don't belong in this house. 1396 00:41:15,202 --> 00:41:17,704 I don't belong here! I don't belong in this house. 1397 00:41:17,704 --> 00:41:17,745 I don't belong at that school! 1398 00:41:17,745 --> 00:41:19,661 I don't belong at that school! 1399 00:41:19,661 --> 00:41:19,704 And I don't belong with you! Of course you belong with us. 1400 00:41:19,704 --> 00:41:23,079 And I don't belong with you! Of course you belong with us. 1401 00:41:23,079 --> 00:41:23,122 I'll only go on causing you problems. Embarrassing you. 1402 00:41:23,122 --> 00:41:26,330 I'll only go on causing you problems. Embarrassing you. 1403 00:41:26,330 --> 00:41:26,372 You don't embarrass us. We're proud of you. 1404 00:41:26,372 --> 00:41:28,580 You don't embarrass us. We're proud of you. 1405 00:41:28,580 --> 00:41:28,621 This is not the debate team. 1406 00:41:28,621 --> 00:41:30,122 This is not the debate team. 1407 00:41:30,122 --> 00:41:30,164 There's no argument here except... 1408 00:41:30,164 --> 00:41:32,038 There's no argument here except... 1409 00:41:32,038 --> 00:41:32,079 ..do you want apple sauce or canned peaches? 1410 00:41:32,079 --> 00:41:34,748 ..do you want apple sauce or canned peaches? 1411 00:41:36,081 --> 00:41:36,123 Hunter! 1412 00:41:36,123 --> 00:41:37,749 Hunter! 1413 00:41:37,749 --> 00:41:37,790 I don't care if I have to lock you in your fucking room! 1414 00:41:37,790 --> 00:41:40,664 I don't care if I have to lock you in your fucking room! 1415 00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:45,500 Where are you gonna go? I don't know. 1416 00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:47,584 Where are you gonna go? I don't know. 1417 00:41:47,584 --> 00:41:47,625 Do you have any money? 1418 00:41:47,625 --> 00:41:49,208 Do you have any money? 1419 00:41:49,208 --> 00:41:49,250 What you and Michael gave me for my birthday. 1420 00:41:49,250 --> 00:41:51,250 What you and Michael gave me for my birthday. 1421 00:41:51,250 --> 00:41:51,292 No plan, no money - perfect. How do you intend to support yourself? 1422 00:41:51,292 --> 00:41:54,543 No plan, no money - perfect. How do you intend to support yourself? 1423 00:41:54,543 --> 00:41:54,586 I'll think of something. I bet you will. 1424 00:41:54,586 --> 00:41:57,877 I'll think of something. I bet you will. 1425 00:41:57,877 --> 00:41:57,918 Hey... 1426 00:41:57,918 --> 00:41:59,751 Hey... 1427 00:42:01,502 --> 00:42:01,544 If you need more, call us. 1428 00:42:01,544 --> 00:42:03,544 If you need more, call us. 1429 00:42:05,377 --> 00:42:05,419 What the fuck are you doing? 1430 00:42:05,419 --> 00:42:07,628 What the fuck are you doing? 1431 00:42:15,211 --> 00:42:15,252 Hunter, wait. 1432 00:42:15,252 --> 00:42:16,881 Hunter, wait. 1433 00:42:21,337 --> 00:42:21,378 Just put it in your shoe or some place safe. 1434 00:42:21,378 --> 00:42:24,713 Just put it in your shoe or some place safe. 1435 00:42:42,134 --> 00:42:42,176 Hot or not? 1436 00:42:42,176 --> 00:42:43,925 Hot or not? 1437 00:42:43,925 --> 00:42:43,967 It's hot. 1438 00:42:43,967 --> 00:42:45,675 It's hot. 1439 00:42:48,384 --> 00:42:48,425 Now, that's what I call resounding approval. 1440 00:42:48,425 --> 00:42:51,344 Now, that's what I call resounding approval. 1441 00:42:55,177 --> 00:42:55,218 By the way, we sold out every last copy of the marriage issue. 1442 00:42:55,218 --> 00:42:58,469 By the way, we sold out every last copy of the marriage issue. 1443 00:42:58,469 --> 00:42:58,509 And we got orders for over 300 more. 1444 00:42:58,509 --> 00:43:01,094 And we got orders for over 300 more. 1445 00:43:03,470 --> 00:43:03,512 Well, if not having any balls 1446 00:43:03,512 --> 00:43:06,012 Well, if not having any balls 1447 00:43:06,012 --> 00:43:06,053 is what it takes to be a gay superhero these days, 1448 00:43:06,053 --> 00:43:08,929 is what it takes to be a gay superhero these days, 1449 00:43:08,929 --> 00:43:08,971 I'd warn Rage to get the hell out of Gayopolis. 1450 00:43:08,971 --> 00:43:12,514 I'd warn Rage to get the hell out of Gayopolis. 1451 00:43:14,304 --> 00:43:14,347 You know, if you didn't stay out all night, fucking, 1452 00:43:14,347 --> 00:43:16,596 You know, if you didn't stay out all night, fucking, 1453 00:43:16,596 --> 00:43:16,639 maybe you wouldn't be so cranky. 1454 00:43:16,639 --> 00:43:18,722 maybe you wouldn't be so cranky. 1455 00:43:18,722 --> 00:43:18,764 Who said I was fucking? 1456 00:43:18,764 --> 00:43:20,264 Who said I was fucking? 1457 00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:20,306 You?! I'm sure there must have been someone. 1458 00:43:20,306 --> 00:43:23,681 You?! I'm sure there must have been someone. 1459 00:43:26,182 --> 00:43:26,222 Yeah. And somebody else got him. 1460 00:43:26,222 --> 00:43:29,431 Yeah. And somebody else got him. 1461 00:43:29,431 --> 00:43:29,473 Finally, some competition. 1462 00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:32,058 Finally, some competition. 1463 00:43:41,059 --> 00:43:41,100 I don't think you get it. 1464 00:43:41,100 --> 00:43:42,893 I don't think you get it. 1465 00:43:42,893 --> 00:43:42,935 What, that someone rejected you? 1466 00:43:42,935 --> 00:43:45,560 What, that someone rejected you? 1467 00:43:47,101 --> 00:43:47,143 Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone. 1468 00:43:47,143 --> 00:43:51,227 Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone. 1469 00:43:52,977 --> 00:43:53,019 One little gesture. 1470 00:43:53,019 --> 00:43:55,603 One little gesture. 1471 00:43:55,603 --> 00:43:55,645 Easily overlooked. 1472 00:43:55,645 --> 00:43:57,646 Easily overlooked. 1473 00:44:01,270 --> 00:44:01,312 But the meaning is clear. It's started. 1474 00:44:01,312 --> 00:44:03,604 But the meaning is clear. It's started. 1475 00:44:07,605 --> 00:44:07,647 It's begun. 1476 00:44:07,647 --> 00:44:09,479 It's begun. 1477 00:44:21,981 --> 00:44:22,024 Ah! 1478 00:44:22,024 --> 00:44:23,690 Ah! 1479 00:44:26,316 --> 00:44:26,358 How about this one? 1480 00:44:26,358 --> 00:44:28,317 How about this one? 1481 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:39,401 You know, when I was in L.A., fucking around, it was fun and all. 1482 00:44:39,401 --> 00:44:44,193 You know, when I was in L.A., fucking around, it was fun and all. 1483 00:44:44,193 --> 00:44:44,235 But when I came back here 1484 00:44:44,235 --> 00:44:46,859 But when I came back here 1485 00:44:46,859 --> 00:44:46,902 and you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer... 1486 00:44:46,902 --> 00:44:51,029 and you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer... 1487 00:44:53,946 --> 00:44:53,987 ..I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple. 1488 00:44:53,987 --> 00:44:59,070 ..I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple. 1489 00:45:01,530 --> 00:45:01,571 Like Michael and Ben. 1490 00:45:01,571 --> 00:45:03,155 Like Michael and Ben. 1491 00:45:03,155 --> 00:45:03,197 One day we might have the things they have. 1492 00:45:03,197 --> 00:45:06,406 One day we might have the things they have. 1493 00:45:07,696 --> 00:45:07,738 A house. 1494 00:45:07,738 --> 00:45:09,614 A house. 1495 00:45:10,865 --> 00:45:10,907 Maybe even a family. 1496 00:45:10,907 --> 00:45:13,366 Maybe even a family. 1497 00:45:25,325 --> 00:45:25,367 How's this? 1498 00:45:25,367 --> 00:45:26,992 How's this? 1499 00:45:48,037 --> 00:45:49,829 "Hot." 107529

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