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Narrator:
The Chimdale Stakes is the first jewel
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in the Triple Crown of dog racing.
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And this year's race is
sure to be a thriller,
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pitting wily veterans like Bark Ruffalo
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against exciting newcomers
like Fleabiscuit,
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a long shot at 20-1 odds.
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Can any of these dogs
win all three races?
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History is against them,
as no dog has won the Triple Crown
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since some dog did it in 1943.
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His name was Some Dog.
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I know that sounds strange...
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...was the dog that came in second.
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Perhaps it's the confusing names
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as to why dog racing never
took off elsewhere...
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...came in third.
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Babe, can you believe this?
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I'm so nervous.
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Of course you're nervous.
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Everything you've done
has led you to this.
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Sunday, buying the dog.
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Monday, entering the race.
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Tuesday, kind of taking the day off.
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Wednesday, too.
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And now it's Thursday!
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Yeah, it's Thursday!
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It's almost the weekend!
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What am I so nervous about?
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It's normal. It's the big race.
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Oh, God! Is it happening now?!
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This means so much to me!
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Up next, the 83rd running
of the Chimdale Stakes,
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sponsored by...
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Rick Heidleman... a private citizen.
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Huh.
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♪♪
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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Aah!
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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♪♪
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Wow. The Chimdale Stakes.
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So much tradition and history
and... oh, look!
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A guy pukin' his guts out!
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This place is so fancy.
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They even have their
own signature drink.
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It's called a "brass monkey."
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It's half a 40 with orange juice.
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[Slurps] Very smoky.
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Maybe it's the cigarette
butt in the bottom.
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I'm just glad you guys
came out to support Jeff.
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I'm so happy he's found
something he's interested in.
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So, I've never been
to a dog track before.
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How does this all work?
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The dogs race around the course
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by chasing after the rabbit over there.
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Its name is Wizbo.
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What?! That's a stuffed rabbit!
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Are dogs really that dumb?
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It doesn't even have eyes!
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Pop a couple raisins in its head!
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Make it look more realistic! [Sighs]
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You can complain about this, Klaus,
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or you can be a hero.
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[Raisins rattle]
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Announcer: The dogs are in their traps,
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and we're ready to go
here at Chimdale Stakes.
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It's me, Tuttle, by the way.
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If you didn't know my job before,
now you know!
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I'm a dog-race announcer.
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Another fact about me.
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I've yet to form an
opinion about gay marriage.
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Hey, Francine! Who let the dogs out?
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I don't know. The gatekeeper?
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There you go, Mr. Wizbo.
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You have such pretty eyes now.
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Tuttle: And off goes the Wizbo!
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Aaah!
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- [Bell rings]
- And there go the dogs!
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[Growling]
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[Screams]
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[Dogs snarling]
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Wait! They can't catch me!
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Hey, doggies! You want this butt?
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Come and get it, you dumb doggies!
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[Growling]
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So, as we come into the final bend,
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it's Bark Ruffalo with the lead,
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with Butt Stuff creeping in behind him.
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And... oh!
Here comes Fleabiscuit on the outside!
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He's making a run for it!
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Oh, my God! Go, go, go!
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You got this, Fleabiscuit!
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And now Fleabiscuit is right
on Bark Ruffalo's tail!
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Can he do it?
It'll be close, but Fleabiscuit wins!
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Fleabiscuit wins!
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Wow! What a race!
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And finishing last is Butt Stuff.
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A lot of Butt Stuff fans
are gonna be sore tonight.
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I can't believe we won!
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That was the most incredible
rush I've ever had!
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It was better than sex!
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- Way!
- And I just won $200.
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I'm rich beyond belief.
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And that was only the first race.
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We can sit in the sun all
day gambling and drinking.
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This is gonna be great for us.
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[Panting] Oh, my God.
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That was the most exciting
thing I've ever done.
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I lost two raisins, but that's cool.
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This place looks fancy.
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I... I don't know if
they'll let Fleabiscuit in
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without a jacket.
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Jeff, you won a huge race.
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We should have a nice dinner out.
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Oh, I'm sorry, but dogs aren't
allowed in the restaurant.
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Excuse me, sir, but this is Jeff Fisher,
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and his better half, Fleabiscuit.
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The winners of the Chimdale Stakes!
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Get them a table right away!
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Absolument!
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Wow. Thanks, Mayor Garfield.
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Is this your wife?
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You know me. It's Hayley.
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We've had many adventures together.
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Yes, yes,
but I've erased all those memories
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to make new ones with Jeff!
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Now, Jeff, do you mind
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if we take a picture photo together
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using my cellphone cam-er-a?
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Sure!
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Umm...
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Oh. Hayley?
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You're... uhh... in the shot.
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Do you mind moving?
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[Camera shutter clicking]
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Que haces? Vete a la cocina!
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[Camera shutter clicks]
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[Insects chirping]
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What a day at the races.
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And that streak we went
on after our first win.
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Lost nine in a row.
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All our money, my cellphone,
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and one of your shoes.
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As I see it, we have two options.
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We could go home and face the ridicule
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or live here forever.
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Let's put it to a shoe vote.
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The shoes have it.
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Welcome home, baby.
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It looks like I have
the house all to myself.
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That means I can have
a little naked time.
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Now, usually I don't do this,
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but I'mma go ahead and break it off
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with a little preview of my penis!
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Oh!
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♪♪
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[Camera shutters clicking]
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'Sup, thug?
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What are you doing here?
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Oh, I'm the busboy for the restaurant.
Keeps me humble.
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Busboyin' keeps me humble.
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Looks like everyone's
all over Jeff's dick
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since he won the Chimdale Stakes.
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So, how's it feel
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- being the dud?
- Dud?
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Every relationship has a stud and a dud.
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You used to be the stud,
but now you're just...
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Drumroll? Dud-dud-dud-dud...
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- Dud?
- Wait for it.
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- Dud-dud-dud-dud...
- You're gonna say "dud."
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- The dud!
- Que haces?
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- Vete a la cocina!
- This guy!
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He's always flirting with me.
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[Cheering]
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And with Fleabiscuit's resounding
win in the Lanceton Downs,
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he's just one win away
from the Triple Crown.
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If you didn't know the
name Fleabiscuit before,
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you'll know it now!
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Just as you'll know his rising
star trainer, Jeff Fisher!
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- [Cheering]
- I know Jeff!
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He bones my daughter!
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'Sup, dud.
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- What are you...
- I'm the busboy for the tracks.
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Keeps me humble. Hayley, I can tell
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this is killing you, being the dud.
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Maybe you should get
your own dog in the race?
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Get the spotlight back on old headband?
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- I don't need the spot...
- Jeff!
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Tell us how you did it!
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Well, none of this would be possible
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without one person.
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My one true inspiration.
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Stephen from "The Real World: Seattle,"
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who had the courage to throw
that girl with Lyme disease's
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teddy bear into the ocean.
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♪♪
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- [Dog barks]
- You're lucky I have
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a relationship with a primo dog breeder.
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Got champion dogs everywhere
from Auckland to Dubai.
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One of his pups just broke
the 1,200-meter record
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in Macau last week.
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Dude's name is Roland
Speargrass Fergburger.
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Oh, God. You're gonna be
the dog breeder, aren't you?
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Hayley, I'm not everyone.
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00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,547
But do you really think
I'd be a dog breeder?
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Like I'd spend all my time
hanging around a kennel
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with a bunch of dogs?
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Like I'd check them for fleas
and clean out their cages
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and fill up their bowls every day?
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Me, the dog breeder?
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00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,493
That's ridiculous, Hayley.
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I'm the dog.
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00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,868
[Sniffing]
218
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,803
Meh, I don't know
if I want to go on this one.
219
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,873
Smells like someone already peed here.
220
00:08:28,272 --> 00:08:30,475
Yep. Tastes like pee.
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Yuck.
222
00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:36,147
So, how did you become a race dog?
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Hold on to your knockers
224
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'cause it's a pretty heart-warming tale.
225
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Narrator:
He was originally cast as Eddie,
226
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,155
the dog from "Frasier,"
227
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:47,158
but soon,
he discovered his real talent...
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00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,361
running fast to escape the
advances of Kelsey Grammer.
229
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,098
Nobody says no to the Gram-Man!
230
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,034
You're saying Kelsey
Grammer has sex with dogs?
231
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,903
Yeah. Niles bangs turtles.
232
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,438
Everyone in Hollywood knows this stuff.
233
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,241
Oh, hey, babe. Hey, who's this?
234
00:09:02,243 --> 00:09:03,775
This is my new race dog.
235
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,444
His name's...
236
00:09:05,446 --> 00:09:06,578
[Whispers] Ryan.
237
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,779
Ryan.
238
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,049
Really, that's it?
239
00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:12,451
I... I didn't know you were racing now.
240
00:09:12,453 --> 00:09:15,254
I figured since you could do it,
I'd try it out.
241
00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:18,457
O-okay, but racing's not easy.
242
00:09:18,459 --> 00:09:21,260
Not everyone has
what I have with Fleabiscuit.
243
00:09:21,262 --> 00:09:23,662
We got a special bond, don't we, boy?
244
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,063
[Smooching]
245
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,666
Yeah, well, I've got
a special bond with my dog, too.
246
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,736
[Smooching] Oh, Ryan!
247
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:33,004
Oh, yeah, you're such a good boy,
248
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,340
aren't you, Fleabiscuit? Oh, good boy!
249
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,008
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me!
250
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,811
Oh, yes, and you have
a super active tongue!
251
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,546
Oh, my!
252
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:42,814
[Groaning]
253
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:46,818
Okay, so we're gonna head home!
254
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,821
[Humming]
255
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,958
Or just go to the park.
256
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,694
Ugh. Let's get to work!
257
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,096
Ugh. Fine.
258
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:58,964
But why does your
mouth taste like beets?
259
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,165
It's 9:00 a.m.
260
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,900
Are you an early-morning beet eater?
261
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,969
That's insane. You're insane.
262
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,236
But I'm insane, too.
263
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,506
Insane for that big beet flavor!
264
00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:08,974
[Muffled scream]
265
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,509
[Green Day's
"Nice Guys Finish Last" plays]
266
00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:11,977
♪ Nice guys finish last ♪
267
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,513
♪ You're running out of gas ♪
268
00:10:14,515 --> 00:10:19,217
- [Air horn blows]
- ♪ Your sympathy will get you left behind ♪
269
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,453
♪ Sometimes you're at your best ♪
270
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,656
♪ When you feel the worst ♪
271
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,327
♪ You feel washed up like
piss going down the drain ♪
272
00:10:28,832 --> 00:10:30,595
Not fast enough! One more lap!
273
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,731
I wish I could, Haley,
but Cheryl and Lindsay
274
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:33,999
are going to the mall in an hour.
275
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,400
And if I don't go with them,
276
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,469
they're just gonna talk shit
about me the whole time.
277
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,738
- [Motor buzzing]
- Look who took the last can
278
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:43,474
of Diet A&W Cream Soda
from your personal fridge?
279
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,943
♪♪
280
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,212
- [Barking]
- ♪ Nice guys finish last ♪
281
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,681
♪ When you are the outcast ♪
282
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,282
♪ Don't pat yourself on the back ♪
283
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,818
You better run faster!
284
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,086
I'm opening it! [Slurps]
285
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,288
Ooh, it's a good batch, too!
286
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,758
♪ You're shaking lots of hands ♪
287
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,562
♪ You're kissing up and
bleeding all your trust ♪
288
00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:04,896
Come on, Ryan!
289
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,033
♪ Taking what you need ♪
290
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,501
♪ Bite the hand that feeds ♪
291
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,836
Whoo-hoo!
292
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:14,173
♪ You lose your memory,
and you got no shame ♪
293
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:17,442
- Whoo-hoo!
- ♪ Oh, nice guys finish last ♪
294
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:20,379
- [Growling]
- ♪ When you run out of gas ♪
295
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,848
I won again! Where are my groupies at?
296
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:28,053
I want to make love to you and
never call you back, like a dog!
297
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,255
[Song ends]
298
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:31,656
Congratulations.
299
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,526
Your dog just qualified
for the Langley Derby.
300
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,395
Oh, my God! Did you hear that, Ryan?
301
00:11:36,397 --> 00:11:38,463
We're going to the derby!
302
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,265
[Moaning]
303
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:43,802
Oh, so you're one of those dog owners?
304
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,537
I'll let you two have your privacy.
305
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,406
[Moaning]
306
00:11:51,412 --> 00:11:52,411
[Slurping]
307
00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:54,546
Francine! Look what I just stole
308
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,881
from people in the stands!
309
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:59,118
A Velcro wallet, $13, and an Invisalign!
310
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:01,420
See, the beauty of this thing
311
00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:03,955
is that it's impossible to
see that I'm wearing it!
312
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,491
And I pickpocketed so many tampons,
313
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,293
I can have a period forever!
314
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,896
God, I love living
at the track with you!
315
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,198
Let's do it in the dirt!
316
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:17,369
[Moaning]
317
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,506
Greg Corbin here with Chimdale Stakes
318
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,043
and Lanceton Downs champion Fleabiscuit
319
00:12:24,045 --> 00:12:26,311
and his owner and trainer, Jeff Fisher.
320
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,712
- Hi, Jeff.
- Hi, Gerg!
321
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,381
Jeff, you're one win away
from the Triple Crown.
322
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,716
Tell me, what's your secret?
323
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,585
Oh, well,
I kind of just bring Fleabiscuit
324
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,720
to the track and let him run,
and that's pretty much it.
325
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,522
Well, between you and your wife, Hayley,
326
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,390
there must be something
in the water here.
327
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,326
That's right. Wait, Hayley?
328
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:44,529
Her dog, Ryan, is the newest
entrant in the Langley Derby!
329
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,197
Did you not know?
330
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,398
Oh, my.
331
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,534
Your own wife competing against you.
332
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,536
Quick, zoom in. See if we can get tears.
333
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,138
How does that make you feel?
334
00:12:55,276 --> 00:12:57,943
You know there's a zoom
function on the camera, Charlie.
335
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,012
This is my way!
336
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,548
Damn it. Hayley's home.
337
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,350
But I need a healthy snack.
338
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,019
Looks like I got myself
a naked challenge!
339
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,087
[Door opens]
340
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,555
You're racing against me?
341
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,624
So what? It's not a big deal.
342
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,758
It's a huge deal!
343
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,294
Why would you do this to me, Hayley?!
344
00:13:15,296 --> 00:13:17,429
I'm one win away from the Triple Crown!
345
00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:19,498
I know you think that
you're a "big shot" now,
346
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,433
but not everything is about you, Jeff!
347
00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:23,568
This is the most important
race of my career!
348
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,304
You don't even have a career!
349
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:27,038
I know what this is about!
350
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,174
I finally found something I'm good at,
351
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,042
and you're trying to
take it away from me!
352
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,244
What?! [Scoffs] That's crazy.
353
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,180
You're jealous of me,
so you're trying to
354
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,581
horn in on my thing.
355
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,183
Well, sorry to break it to you,
356
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,384
but it's not gonna work.
357
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,254
And why is your brother naked?!
358
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:46,191
Whoa!
359
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,060
You guys are so high.
360
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:53,332
You think this is really happening.
361
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,004
I'm still mad at you.
362
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,140
But I gotta admit, it's pretty cool
363
00:14:01,142 --> 00:14:04,443
that your brother draws
on his pubic hair.
364
00:14:07,896 --> 00:14:11,550
Roger. I need you to win the derby.
365
00:14:11,552 --> 00:14:14,419
- Mmkay.
- I need you to do anything
366
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,821
to beat Fleabiscuit and win.
367
00:14:15,823 --> 00:14:17,288
Do you understand me?
368
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,624
- Anything!
- Mm-hmm.
369
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,693
Well, I mean, anything except...
370
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,362
don't kill him or anything.
371
00:14:23,364 --> 00:14:24,963
Hayley, who do you think I am?!
372
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,498
Some kind of cold-blooded killer?
373
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,433
I'm not a monster! Geez!
374
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,701
[Sighs] I'm sorry, Roger.
375
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,302
- I-I didn't mean to...
- I'm just kidding.
376
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,504
You were right to clarify.
377
00:14:32,506 --> 00:14:35,240
I would have... I would have killed him.
378
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:42,113
["Call to the Post" plays]
379
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,516
And good afternoon
from the Langley Derby!
380
00:14:44,518 --> 00:14:47,978
Today, little Fleabiscuit
goes for the Triple Crown!
381
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,655
Will he have what it
takes to lift that trophy?
382
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,257
Oh, look. There's a dog on it.
383
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,658
That seems right.
384
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,794
And here come the competitors!
385
00:14:55,796 --> 00:14:57,596
- [Cheers and applause]
- There's Hot Chunks!
386
00:14:57,598 --> 00:15:00,532
Turtle Face! Cheesecake is my enemy!
387
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,001
- Ryan!
- Are we all good?
388
00:15:02,003 --> 00:15:03,202
Took care of it.
389
00:15:03,204 --> 00:15:05,537
And last but certainly not least,
390
00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:09,140
the champion and heavy favorite,
Fleabiscuit!
391
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:15,547
[Cheers and applause]
392
00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:18,217
Fleabiscuit, are you all right, boy?
393
00:15:18,219 --> 00:15:19,684
What'd you do, poison him?
394
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,486
God, no, I just slept
with his girlfriend
395
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,288
and showed him the video.
396
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,224
What do you think, huh?
397
00:15:25,226 --> 00:15:28,293
Oh, shoot.
I wanted to show you the one with music.
398
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,029
["William Tell Overture" playing]
399
00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:32,398
[Fleabiscuit whining]
400
00:15:34,235 --> 00:15:36,235
Good dog.
401
00:15:36,237 --> 00:15:38,169
Now let's win this thing.
402
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,638
Great card today.
403
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,173
Even though Ryan's a roughie,
I want him across the board.
404
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,643
How much you wanna wager?
405
00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:47,512
Three cough drops and, uh, six Altoids.
406
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:50,249
If you don't have money,
then you can't place bets here.
407
00:15:50,251 --> 00:15:54,319
What, is the Langley Derby too
good for a Burger King coupon?
408
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,655
[Gasps] Why didn't you say so, sir?
409
00:15:56,657 --> 00:15:59,491
Right this way to the BK Royalty Lounge!
410
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,796
Oh, my gosh. I should straighten up.
411
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,334
You're old.
412
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,802
- [Growls]
- You're ugly.
413
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,272
- [Growls]
- You smell like Funyuns.
414
00:16:13,274 --> 00:16:15,140
- [Growls]
- Your girlfriend's a slut.
415
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,076
- [Whines]
- Actually, the Funyun smell's
416
00:16:17,078 --> 00:16:18,410
coming from you.
417
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:22,347
I'm sorry, dog number 3! I hope you win!
418
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,615
[Motor buzzing]
419
00:16:23,617 --> 00:16:25,016
Who am I?
420
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,686
I'm the Wizbo, bitch.
421
00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:31,556
Tuttle: So!
Will Fleabiscuit make history today?
422
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,559
Do historians even follow dog racing?
423
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,628
All these questions will be answered
424
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:40,832
at the Langley Derby Racetrack
and Check Cashing Emporium!
425
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,635
- [Motor buzzing]
- And off goes the Wizbo!
426
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:47,438
[Laughs] Bite my ass, ass-biters!
427
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,508
- [Bell rings]
- And there go the dogs!
428
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:51,242
- [Whining]
- Oh, my.
429
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,845
It looks like the pressure's
got to little Fleabiscuit.
430
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,246
He's barely running.
431
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,782
Fleabiscuit, what's wrong?
432
00:16:56,784 --> 00:16:59,585
And out to an early lead is Ryan.
433
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,254
Let's go, Ryan! Yeah!
434
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,723
Who's the dog now?
435
00:17:04,725 --> 00:17:07,775
Tuttle: And starting to stretch
the lead, it's Ryan!
436
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:10,729
Yeah! Things are gonna be different now!
437
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:13,666
[Laughs evilly]
438
00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,869
[Wistful music plays]
439
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:22,474
♪♪
440
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:25,978
Where did all the maniacal laughter go?
441
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:29,614
That last one was a little sad.
442
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:32,785
Wait. I don't want
things to be different.
443
00:17:35,022 --> 00:17:37,823
I don't understand.
I thought I was good at this.
444
00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:41,292
Tuttle:
And it's Ryan around the final bend.
445
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,430
Look at you stupid greyhounds.
You're so weird-looking.
446
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,299
That's why no one wants you as pets.
447
00:17:47,368 --> 00:17:48,368
_
448
00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:49,368
[Click]
449
00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:50,969
[Screech!]
450
00:17:50,971 --> 00:17:52,371
Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs!
451
00:17:52,373 --> 00:17:53,572
Get him!
452
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:55,574
I didn't mean any of it! I love dogs!
453
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,242
No one respects dogs more than me!
454
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,443
Aah!
455
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,179
Oh, my goodness!
456
00:18:00,181 --> 00:18:01,446
The dogs have stopped racing
457
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,914
and are now attacking the rabbit.
458
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,384
- [Growling]
- Not the fins! Not the fins!
459
00:18:05,386 --> 00:18:06,852
Not the fins!
460
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:07,853
[Screams]
461
00:18:07,855 --> 00:18:11,523
Tuttle: he only one not caught up
in this madness, is Fleabiscuit!
462
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:14,726
Oh, my God! Go, Fleabiscuit, go!
463
00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:16,661
Come on, Fleabiscuit, run!
464
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,930
Babe, why are you rooting
for Fleabiscuit?
465
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,332
I'm not. I'm rooting for you.
466
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,335
Fleabiscuit, do it for Darlene!
467
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:30,742
♪ Whoa, my love ♪
468
00:18:30,744 --> 00:18:34,679
♪ My darling ♪
469
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,748
♪ I've hung... ♪
470
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,149
I don't know what happened,
471
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,685
but Fleabiscuit's finally turned it on!
472
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,421
- [Growling]
- Wait. What am I doing?
473
00:18:42,423 --> 00:18:43,889
I'm not one of these idiot mutts.
474
00:18:43,891 --> 00:18:46,225
I'm a frickin' alien.
I'm gonna win this race!
475
00:18:46,894 --> 00:18:49,695
And now Ryan's pulled
himself out of the dog pile!
476
00:18:49,697 --> 00:18:52,931
He's got his sights on the finish line!
477
00:18:55,903 --> 00:19:00,171
Ryan's oh-so-close, but he's
hot-dogging it down the stretch.
478
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:03,242
[Cheering]
479
00:19:03,244 --> 00:19:09,915
♪♪
480
00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:16,121
♪♪
481
00:19:16,123 --> 00:19:18,257
They're loving this!
Let's see. What else?
482
00:19:18,259 --> 00:19:20,926
Oh, moonwalk.
483
00:19:20,928 --> 00:19:22,527
Oh, crap.
484
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,329
[Cheers and applause]
485
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,732
He's done it! Fleabiscuit's won!
486
00:19:26,734 --> 00:19:29,868
Fleabiscuit's won the Triple Crown!
487
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:33,004
[Cheering]
488
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:36,541
I've never loved you more in my life!
489
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,577
[Moaning]
490
00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:42,413
[Camera shutters clicking]
491
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,750
As Mayor of Langley Falls,
492
00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:48,420
I am delighted to award this trophy
493
00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:53,024
to the first Triple
Crown winner since 1943,
494
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,560
Fleabiscuit and Jeff Fisher!
495
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,163
[Cheers and applause]
496
00:19:58,165 --> 00:19:59,831
Thanks, Mayor G.
497
00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:01,166
I just wanna say,
498
00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:04,035
I couldn't have done it without Hayley.
499
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,570
So, what's next for you, Jeff?
500
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,773
Well, I'm gonna retire from racing.
501
00:20:07,775 --> 00:20:10,309
I'd like to spend more
time with my wife.
502
00:20:10,311 --> 00:20:11,710
And I think Fleabiscuit's got
503
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,912
more important things on his mind.
504
00:20:13,914 --> 00:20:17,082
♪ Oh ♪
505
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:25,857
♪ I need your love ♪
506
00:20:25,859 --> 00:20:28,527
[Crickets chirping]
507
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:30,796
[Screaming]
508
00:20:30,798 --> 00:20:32,531
Steve, why are you naked?!
509
00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:34,800
Well, why are you... What are you?
510
00:20:34,802 --> 00:20:35,934
We don't have to answer to you!
511
00:20:35,936 --> 00:20:37,803
We're racetrack royalty.
512
00:20:37,805 --> 00:20:39,738
Please, everyone, shut up.
513
00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:42,674
I'm in so much pain.
514
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:45,644
I'm ready to die.
515
00:20:46,347 --> 00:20:49,681
[Heavenly music playing]
516
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:52,451
God: Oh, hell, no.
517
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,157
Aww.
518
00:20:58,159 --> 00:21:00,125
Bye! Have a great time!
519
00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:04,037
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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