Original subtitles

It's going. It's going.

And it's gone.

Whatever.

Maybe we shouId take a break.

That's it. I can't take this anymore.

I can't. I give up.

I'm sick of struggIing for survivaI.

Competing with gophers and earthworms and that Ioser sparrow...

...who aIways takes my nuts.

And I'm especiaIIy sick of this stupid...

...stupid tree.

-What's happening? -Guys.

I think he made it angry.

I'm awake.

I'm up...

...and I'm Iate.

Demo. Dave SeviIIe.

Keys. Bag.

Pants.

I need pants. Pants are essentiaI.

CIaire.

-Dave. -Hey.

How's it going?

I haven't seen you since....

WeII, since you said you never wanted to see me again.

So I guess it worked.

What a fun day that was.

Let me guess. You're Iate for something again.

-Same oId Dave. -Not foIIowing you.

You know, the guy who's aIways fooIing around...

...who can't handIe a serious reIationship.

That was the oId Dave.

How about we get together, taIk about the new Dave?

Tomorrow night. My pIace.

-I.... -Great.

-No-- -You Iook good, CIaire.

Where are we?

WeII, I think they remodeIed our forest. I Iike it. StyIish, yet functionaI.

Where did the mountains go?

Give me a break. We're in a buiIding, Theodore.

Dave.

-Ian. -Hey, big guy.

Hey, you ever seen the view from the 80th fIoor?

-No. They never Iet me past the Iobby. -What? I can't....

Hey, back off, man, this is Dave SeviIIe.

Mr. SeviIIe, can I offer you some muffins, scones, pastries?

No. I'd hate to be a bother.

It's no probIem. We have an omeIet station.

OmeIet station.

Can I get you some water or a soy Iatte?

How about a shot of wheatgrass juice?

Maybe Iater. Thanks.

Let's taIk about your song, Dave.

WeII, as crazy as it sounds...

-...the originaI inspiration came to me-- -The song sucks, Dave.

-What? -Your song? It's awfuI. I hate it.

You know, I mean, who's gonna sing it? Justin, Fergie? Not a chance.

I need something new. I need something fresh.

-That is new. -The next big thing.

Dave, we go way back, aII right?

And we've both come a Iong way since coIIege. You? Not so much.

I wanted to Iike that song, but you heard it. Not that good.

If I wasn't your friend, I'd say:

''Dave, you go right back out of this office...

...and you keep writing music. You'II get there someday.''

But I am your friend, so I'm going to teII you...

...that there is no sense in writing songs...

...that no one is ever, ever going to sing.

Ever?

Excuse me.

Can I get some of that water?

We ran out.

Hey!

-Out of the way. -AIvin...

-...sIow down. -Move your butt, Theodore.

You stepped on my taiI.

Last one to the door is roadkiII.

I'm in.

What are these shiny things?

Theodore, we're Ieaving now.

Okay, this wasn't my best idea. Look out!

Maniac!

Back to tree. Back to tree.

Back to the dog. Back to the dog!

-Basket! Three o'cIock. -Which way is 3 o'cIock?

-This way. -Guys, wait for me.

Wait up. I stiII have baby fat, you know.

-Jump. You've gotta reaIIy want it. -I want it.

-I want it. -I can't hang Iike this aII day.

WiII you jump aIready?

Muffins.

Gross. Is this his house?

No. It's his garbage can.

This must be where he stores his food for winter.

As it came down to one--

Boa has the mouse trapped on a branch with no way out.

As the boa moves in for the attack...

...the mouse seems to be facing certain death.

The boa's sensitive tongue tastes the victim's presence.

The mouse crashes through the foliage.

Come on, baby. Come to papa!

HeIIo, gorgeous.

We've hit the mother Iode.

--tropical rainforest where food is bountiful.

This is the greatest day of my Iife.

Eureka! I found the cheese baIIs.

AIvin, what are you doing? Don't make a mess.

CannonbaII.

Quick. Hide.

Hurry, you guys.

Did I put these here?

There you are. I got you.

He's been out for quite a whiIe.

You guys, he's dead.

Don't panic. Wipe everything down.

I need three garbage bags, a shoveI, some disinfectant...

...some Iatex gIoves and oregano, go!

Hang on, SherIock. He's coming to.

I must be hearing things.

Oh, this is trippy.

Sir, are you aII right?

Get back!

SquirreIs can't taIk.

Hey.

Watch it, genius.

We are chipmunks. Chipmunks.

Chipmunks can't taIk either.

Our Iips are moving and words are coming out.

This is not happening.

I am not taIking to chipmunks. I am not taIking to chipmunks.

So how's that working for you, Dave?

How do you know my name?

I'II fieId that one. We read your maiI. By accident.

You reaIIy ought to pay that utiIity biII, Dave.

-You ever heard of a credit rating? -What's this thing?

Hey. Hey. Hey. Stop doing-- Turn that off.

Sorry.

He feII out of the tree at birth.

Can aII animaIs taIk?

WeII, I beIieve fish have this type of sign Ianguage.

Hey, Dave, do aII humans have houses that smeII Iike sweat socks?

Dave likes to wear

Dirty underwear with little hairs

We're getting off on the wrong foot.

AIIow us to introduce ourseIves.

HeIIo, I'm Simon, the smart one.

-He's AIvin. -The awesomest one.

And I'm Theodore.

Oh, nice to meet you. Now get out of my house.

But we taIk.

Which makes me want you out of my house that much more.

It's creepy. UnnaturaI. Somewhat eviI.

I kind of Iiked him better when he was unconscious.

-Gotcha. -Hey.

Don't do this, Dave.

We can gnaw right through this door.

Hi.

Oh, were we disturbing you?

What, you guys can sing too?

That's not singing. This is singing.

This is amazing.

Here, everyone inside.

-There you go. -Thank you.

AII right, here's the deaI.

You guys sing my songs, you get to sIeep here.

No. Wait. Is breakfast incIuded?

I can Iive with that.

What about TV priviIeges?

Okay, but not after 7.

-Eight. -Done.

But don't teII your animaI friends, because I don't wanna come home...

...and find rabbits and skunks on my couch.

FiIthy creatures, Dave. Never associate with them.

Yeah, you're our onIy friend.

No, no, no. Let's not get ahead of ourseIves here.

Let's just start with me being your songwriter.

Let me ask you. Have you ever written a song before?

-Yup. -And is that your music stuff outside?

Yup.

Oh, no!

Hurry back.

So, feIIas, aII we gotta do is find the right song, rehearse--

-Hey, Dave. -Simon.

My bad.

This is my sheet music.

AIvin.

This is not a HuIa-Hoop. It's a toweI rack.

-KiIIjoy. -Are you guys aIways Iike this?

We're kids, Dave.

WeII, where are your parents?

When you're a chipmunk, your parents take care of you for a week.

Then they take off.

Our parents were hippies. They Ieft earIy to join a commune.

-I am Robert the Robot. -HeIp! Crazy robot. HeIp! It's after me!

-It's after me. -Hey. Hey. Be carefuI with that.

-Sorry. -It's a coIIectibIe.

-I got it for Christmas Iast year. -Christmas! We Iove Christmas.

Even though we've never actuaIIy ceIebrated it.

But we want to.

Yeah, you can never go wrong with Christmas.

Oh, maybe we can ceIebrate it with you.

Yeah, maybe.

Look, I've had a Iong and weird day, so off to bed.

Come on.

We start work tomorrow.

I want you bright-eyed and bushy-taiIed by 8.

My taiI isn't bushy tiII 9.

Not my probIem. Now go to sIeep.

I hope Christmas comes fast.

Me too.

Want a plane that loops the loop?

Loop.

Hoop.

HuIa-Hoop.

Here's troubIe. Fire in the hoIe!

What are you guys doing?

Nothing. What are you doing?

Stand back, Dave. She's gonna bIow!

I got it. I got it, guys. Come to papa.

-Hey. Where did it go? -Simon, this Ianded right in front of you.

You didn't see it?

How many fingers am I hoIding up?

Four. No, no, no. Eight? Counting your thumb?

-Wait, wait, wait-- -Hang on a second.

Six. FinaI answer is six.

Try these.

How's that?

Someone trashed your house.

It was cIean when I went to bed Iast night.

WeII, we coIored for a whiIe, but then we got hungry.

Wanna see what we coIored?

ActuaIIy, I wanna pIay you something.

I wrote a song for you guys to sing, so Iet's--

We've put a few toaster waffIes aside for winter.

And we're not sharing.

Guys, we're gonna have food aII winter, so if you start storing it...

...it's gonna get gross and we're gonna have rodent....

Bad, you know, non-taIking rodents around here.

Let's go. Let's get to work.

AII right, you chipmunks. Ready to sing your song?

-I'II say we are. -Yeah. Let's sing it now.

-Ready, Simon? -Okay.

-Ready, Theodore? -Okay.

AIvin?

AIvin?

This kicks a hamster wheeI's butt.

AIvin!

Okay!

Christmas, Christmastime is near

Time for toys and time for cheer

We've been good, but we can't last

Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast

Want a plane that loops the loop

Me, I want a Hula-Hoop

We can't hardly stand the wait

Please, Christmas, don't be late

What?

Dave Seville's in the lobby.

He says he won't leave without seeing you.

That Ioser again?

-Dave. -Ian.

-Okay. -I've got something for you.

-It's your next big thing. -Dave.

Don't say anything.

What the...?

Dave, don't do this to yourseIf, man.

They sing.

No. They don't.

They do. Just give me a second.

Come on, guys.

Want a plane that loops the loop

Me, I want a Hula-Hoop

You know, Dave...

...some peopIe might say it's kind of weird...

...that a grown man wouId want a HuIa-Hoop.

And others wouId say, ''You know what's weirder than that?

A grown man bringing another grown man...

...a big box with a bunch of chipmunks in it...

...who not onIy speak EngIish but can sing.''

They do sing. We've been practicing aII morning.

Oh, you've been practicing. I never reaIized. Okay, weII.

Yeah. Okay, no. Dave, I'm going to pretend...

...that I have a Iunch to go to.

I've got a Iunch to go to.

What was that?

Nothing. Nothing. Just a IittIe stage fright.

I thought my heart was gonna expIode.

We're not performing monkeys.

Why do we have to sing for that guy?

WeII, how's this?

Pretend I need the money and I hate my job...

...and you're staying at my pIace, so you owe me.

We're sorry, Dave.

Yeah, that heIps.

Never mind. I'm Iate for work.

Can we go with you?

What, so you can mess that up too?

You're going home.

Can I stand in your Iap and steer?

Oh, can we at Ieast beep the horn?

Never mind.

So sorry about the deIay. It shouId be a coupIe more minutes.

But we're buiIding the suspense.

-Here he is. -Sorry I'm Iate.

Boy, am I jazzed about our Yum-abIe Energy Bars commerciaI.

That's Good-abIe Energy Bar commerciaI.

Right, Good-abIe.

Okay, here's the pitch.

We open on a group of Iethargic kids.

CIose-up on a IittIe girI's face. She's sad.

Our customers don't Iike to think of their kids as being sad.

CouId she be fIying a kite?

I Iike kites.

Good.

Okay, great. She's fIying a kite.

She's running with a kite. She's running out of steam.

She's tired and Iets go of the kite.

Oh, no. We see her face, it's sad.

-But not too sad. -Right.

So she puIIs out her Good-abIe Energy Bar--

It's my mom. Sorry.

-Hi, Mom. -A little situation, Dave.

Theodore vacuumed up AIvin.

-AIvin. -Dave, heIp!

-What? -At least it wasn't the garbage disposal.

Just stay caIm.

And there goes Theodore.

Look, I can't do this right now, okay?

I absoIuteIy understand but-- Sorry, Dave?

Quick question.

How do you feeI about an indoor pooI?

Look, if you fIood my house, you're dead.

Out on the street, capiche?

Mothers.

Why don't we come over here and Iook at the saIes projections?

You know, when I first saw these numbers, I thought there's just no way...

...but then I Iooked again.

The ''size of Theodore's butt''?

Why don't we come back to that?

Anyway, 1 0 years ago, the market share for heaIthy food snacks...

...was imperceptibIe among 6- to 1 2-year-oIds.

''How smart Simon thinks he is''?

Yeah, as opposed to how smart he actuaIIy is.

Who's Simon?

-I didn't-- -Just move it aIong.

You know what? I think I'II just cIean out my office.

Sounds good.

SpongeBob. You're 1 5 minutes late.

Sorry, Mr. Krabs, I was out all night looking for Gary.

He got away. Well....

Guys. What's this about?

ObviousIy, Theodore's butt.

We toId you we coIored.

On my presentation boards? You got me fired.

We didn't know.

-We're sorry, Dave. -Oh, you're sorry? That's fantastic.

Sorry doesn't get my job back, now, does it, Theodore?

Why are my cIothes aII over the pIace?

We used them to mop up the water. Good idea, right?

Oh, my God. Theodore, did you just--?

It's a raisin, Dave.

Prove it.

Okay, you got me.

I wanna taIk to aII you guys. Where's AIvin?

-AIvin? -You owe me bigtime.

AIvin.

Come on. Come on.

There's this new thing. It's caIIed knocking.

-Get out. -I'm waiting for the rinse cycIe.

-Out. -I'm taking a shower here.

You know, if I made a Iist of my worst days ever...

...today wouId be at the top of the Iist.

And it's stiII earIy.

CIam it, sudsy.

Okay. Guys, Iet me just put it to you Iike this, okay?

I have no job, no career, my house is aIways a mess. Thank you very much.

Hi, Dave. It's Claire Wilson calling. And why did I just say my last name?

That was weird. I guess I'm just a little nervous about coming over for dinner.

-Dinner. -So, yeah. I'm gonna hang up now.

I'll be there at 7. Okay. Bye.

That's haIf an hour.

Who's CIaire?

CIaire is Dave's mate.

She is not my mate.

She's my ex-mate.

Okay. This is great.

Dave. Dave, reIax.

You just go get the food. We'II take care of the rest.

Why am I having a hard time beIieving you?

That hurts, Dave. That reaIIy hurts.

-Yeah. We're aII in this together, Dave. -Like a famiIy.

No. Not Iike a famiIy.

Tick-tock, Dave. Better bust a move.

Right.

We aIso do offices and recreationaI vehicIes.

What's that smeII?

It's your coIogne.

What did you do? Dump the entire bottIe on the rug?

We caII it scenting the area.

I gotta admit I'm surprised.

The pIace Iooks great.

WeII, Dave, we chipmunks are notoriousIy tidy.

Yeah, I see that.

-Those bread sticks smeII great. -Yeah.

So when's dinner?

Guys, I don't know how to teII you this...

...but it's just gonna be CIaire and me.

HoId the phone, Dave.

-We can't have-- -No.

-Even if we-- -No.

-We thought it-- -And no. Look, in the other room.

Jeez.

What a buzzkiII, man.

-I never knew you couId cook this weII. -It's aII about sIow roasting.

It takes Ionger. But when it comes to fIavor, why rush?

WeII, I'm impressed.

-I've been seeing your photos. -Yeah, it's going reaIIy great.

How about you, how's your job?

Great. Loving it.

How do you think it's going?

TerribIe. They're not even sniffing each other.

AIvin. Dave said that--

Dave needs a IittIe heIp from the Iove doctor.

And his assistant.

Get back here.

You know, this is nice.

Just two friends having dinner. Hanging out.

No pressure. Nothing weird.

My stereo does that aII the time. It's Iike it has a mind of its own.

You were saying?

Oh, nothing. I was just a IittIe nervous about coming over here.

I wasn't sure if you thought this was a date or something.

A date? No.

The wiring in my unit is shot.

You shouId get an eIectrician to fix that.

I don't need anyone to fix anything for me.

Okay.

CouId you excuse me for a moment? I'm gonna go check the fuse box.

Hey.

Look, I know what you guys are up to. AIvin.

-Breath check. -Where's AI--?

Dave, are you okay?

Everything's fine.

Why did you do that?

I was just trying to heIp, Dave. You have garIic breath.

WeII, stop heIping. You're ruining everything.

I think I got something in my eye.

Here. Let me see.

Yeah. It Iooks reaIIy irritated. It's so red. What happened?

What was that?

Oh, I thought I saw a rat.

-A rat? -ProbabIy nothing.

Here, Iet's finish eating, huh?

Tomorrow, I'm gonna caII the exterminator.

-What? -CIaire.

Dave? Dave?

-TeII her she compIetes you. -What are you doing?

-You got it, Dave. -Dave.

Dave, Iet go.

I'm sorry, CIaire. It's just....

I Iost my job, CIaire.

And I guess I just needed a hug.

WeII, why didn't you just say so? TeII me what happened.

WeII, this is gonna sound reaIIy strange.

No games. No fooIing around.

-The truth? -PIease, I'm begging you.

My Iife is being sabotaged by taIking chipmunks.

-You know what? -I'm not crazy, I swear.

You haven't changed at aII.

Wait. CIaire. Don't go. I can expIain.

Chipmunks.

You shouId've kissed her, Dave.

She wanted you.

AIvin, you're not heIping.

Don't give up, Dave.

Go away. Leave me aIone.

Dave, wouId you Iike a cookie?

I said, Ieave me aIone.

Is it me, or was he a IittIe mad?

I wonder, is Dave mad? Yes.

He reaIIy did have garIic breath.

Yeah, weII-pIayed, guys.

Idea.

Who has cab fare?

Cab fare? We don't even have pockets.

Dear fellas, I'm sorry, but this isn't really working out.

I don't know what made me think I could handle you guys...

...when I can barely manage my own life.

You should go back to your real home in the forest.

That's what's best for all of us.

I'm sorry it has to be this way, but....

Guys?

Simon, Theodore?

Guys?

AIvin?

AIvin!

Simon?

Theodore?

AIvin?

AIvin.

HeIIo?

HeIIo?

Kids.

Christmas, Christmastime is near

Time for toys and time for cheer

We can't hardly stand the wait

Please, Christmas, don't be late

WeIcome to Jett Records.

Okay. New ruIe. No going out after 9.

And not at aII unIess I know where you're going.

Were you worried about us, Dave?

No. I just need to know, that's aII.

Wait. If you're not worried, then why do you need to know?

I need to know, okay?

AIvin.

Oh, sorry about that. Yeah.

-Sorry. -Kids, huh?

They keep you on your toes. Do you have any?

Three boys.

WeII, some days are better than others.

And some days you just wanna cIose them in a box...

...Ieave the box in the park and run away, you know?

Quick, hide.

Guys, what's aII this?

Toaster waffIes.

You know, I can't afford aII these toaster waffIes.

-What? -WeII, in case you didn't notice...

...I don't have a job anymo--

My song?

-AII right. -Yeah.

-HeIIo? -Hey, Dave.

Hey, how's my favorite songwriter?

-Ian? -Tell me you've heard the song.

Yeah. I'm Iistening to it right now.

How did you--? When did--?

Speed of business, baby. That's how we do it. That's how I roII.

Got a friend in sateIIite radio, put it in immediate rotation.

And that video of your IittIe guys, 1 0 miIIion hits aIready on YouTube.

It's crazy. I gotta go.

Hey, put some cIothes on those guys. It's kind of embarrassing.

We owed you, Dave.

So we're good with the toaster waffIes, right? Dave?

Soup's on.

AIvin.

So, what do you think?

CooI.

AII right.

Toothbrush, huh? Okay.

No.

Dave...

...are you awake?

I am now.

I had a nightmare.

Can I sIeep with you?

You won't even know I'm here.

Okay. Sure. But stay on that side of the bed.

Oh, okay.

Theodore, that's not your side of the bed.

-Theodore, wake up. It's Christmas. -Come on, man. It's Christmas.

Boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

On the first day of Christmas Dave woke up

Come on, man, it's Christmas. HaIIeIujah.

Wake up, Iazy bones.

Oh, yeah. Christmas.

-Up and at them. -You can sIeep when you're dead.

-I'm coming -Come on, Dave.

Hurry up, Dad.

-Dad? -Dave. I said Dave.

This is shaping up to be my favorite Christmas ever.

-You want to open mine first. -Open mine first.

-No, Dave, mine is better. -You guys got me presents?

Of course.

AII right. Simon?

Wow, it's a--

It's a paper-cIip compass.

A paper-cIip compass. Now I'II never get Iost.

Me next.

AIvin.

-My waIIet. -Do you Iike it?

ReaIIy? I wanted to get you something you'd use every day.

And I have been using this for aImost 1 0 years now.

Very thoughtfuI, AIvin. Thank you.

Yeah, the Iook on your face says it aII, Dave.

Oh, niceIy done, Theodore. ''To Dav.''

Let's see, it says, ''Merry Christmas. Love, Theodore.''

And it's got a nice picture of some pineappIes?

Those aren't pineappIes. That's our famiIy.

Look, feIIas. Let's make sure we understand each other here.

I'm not your....

You know, your dad or anything, right?

But you're Iike a dad.

WeII, not reaIIy.

I mean, we're friends for sure.

And I write your music, you know, manage your career.

-Make us sweaters. -Feed us.

Let us sIeep in your bed when we have nightmares.

That's what friends do.

So who wants to open their presents?

-Is that a trick question? We do. -Yeah.

-Presents. -Oh, boy.

Presents. Presents. Presents.

I can't wait to open mine first.

EnveIopes.

They're savings bonds.

CooI.

You know, in seven years, you're gonna get to buy something reaIIy nice.

Do you maybe have any that you bought seven years ago?

-AIvin, manners. -Thank you, Dave.

Yeah. Thanks, Dave.

-Ian? -Who wants presents?

-AII right. -CooI.

Hey, there's pIenty more where this came from.

Bring them on in, feIIas.

-Oh, yeah. -Jackpot.

What are you doing?

-Taking care of my boys. -Yeah, that's what I'm taIking about.

Weird. What happened to your presents?

-Which one is mine? -That big one is for me, I think.

What did you get them?

Savings bonds.

Great. Just what every kid dreams of.

You're in Iuck. Your uncIe Ian came through.

-CooI. -UncIe Ian?

Is-- Is this for me?

No, it's for Simon.

-Theodore. -Oh, boy.

-And AIvin. -Thank you, Santa.

This is for you. You Iike the Oak Ridge Boys, right?

Yeah, you're weIcome.

And guess what, guys.

UncIe Ian is gonna have a big Iaunch party for the new CD.

That's right. Press, paparazzi. HoIIywood hotshots.

The whoIe nine yards.

-Awesome. -Sweet.

Yeah. Dave, you've got one week to write me a new hit singIe.

AII right? Something funky and fresh.

-Peace. We out. -Bye, UncIe Ian.

-Merry Christmas. -Now it reaIIy is Christmas.

Mayday, mayday.

This way, this way, this way.

AII right. AII right. SettIe in, settIe in. Thank you for coming.

It is a very speciaI night tonight.

Here at Jett Records, we pride ourseIves on bringing you tomorrow's music today.

Oh, and guess what. I did it again.

Ladies and gentIemen, here to sing their new hit singIe...

...give it up for AIvin, Simon and Theodore.

Yeah, in the place to be

[ Skipped item nr. 648 ]

Chipmunks on the M-I-C "Witch Doctor"

Everybody, can they do it?

Can they do it?

Come on, people, let's get to it

Let's get to it

Come on, shake, come on, roll Everybody hit the floor

Come on, shake, come on, roll With the Chipmunks, here we go

I told the witch doctor I was in love with you

I told the witch doctor You didn't love me too

And then the witch doctor He told me what to do

He said: Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah

To the ting to the tang The wallawalla bingbang

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah Ting tang wallawalla bingbang

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah

To the ting to the tang The wallawalla bingbang

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah Ting tang wallawalla bingbang

Yo, DJ, pump this party!

Everybody, can they do it?

-Can they do it? -Go! Go! Go!

Come on, people, let's get to it

Go! Go! Go!

Come on, shake, come on, roll Everybody hit the floor

Come on, shake, come on, roll With the Chipmunks, here we go

Alvin! Simon! Theodore!

I told the witch doctor You didn't love me true

I told the witch doctor You didn't love me nice

And then the witch doctor He gave me this advice

He said to me:

To the ting to the tang The wallawalla bingbang

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah Ting tang wallawalla bingbang

You've been keeping love from me

-And that's not very smart -Not very smart

I went out and found myself someone Who'd tell me how to win your heart

My friend the witch doctor He told me what to say

My friend the witch doctor He told me what to do

I know that you'll be mine When I say this to you

-Oh, baby, baby! -Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah

To the ting to the tang The wallawalla bingbang

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah Ting tang wallawalla bingbang

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah

To the ting to the tang The wallawalla bingbang

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ah ah Ting tang wallawalla bingbang

Yeah.

AII right, party peopIe. You know how we do it.

Get on that dance fIoor, Iet me see what you got.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

-You mind if I grab a few pics? -CIaire.

-Not at aII. Fire away. -Great.

I've got a new assignment. I'm covering your rise to fame.

-Oh, this is AIvin, Simon and Theodore. -Hi.

-HeIIo. -Hi, CIaire.

You're hot.

Forgot you guys haven't officiaIIy met.

So, Dave...

...I'm sorry about that night. I reaIIy thought that you--

That I was insane?

I totaIIy understand it.

TaIking chipmunks. It's a Iot to take in over dinner.

But Iook at you now. You've got the career, promising future, kids.

You're Iike a famiIy.

Don't say ''famiIy'' in front of Dave. It gives him gas.

-Like, cIear-the-room gas. -Does not.

He doesn't want a famiIy.

Why don't you guys go and pIay or raid the dessert tabIe?

Don't take it personaIIy, you guys.

Some peopIe don't know a good thing when they've got it.

Right, Dave?

CIaire.

No offense, big guy, but you are not good at this.

Hey, what do you think of this?

-What is it? -It's AIvin.

That Iooks nothing Iike AIvin.

WeII, yeah. It's a prototype. We'II seII a miIIion of these things.

It's voice-activated. Here, say something to it.

HeIIo, ugIy IittIe AIvin doII that Iooks nothing Iike AIvin.

-See? You Iove it. It's Spanish. -You know what? That's just weird.

Come on, Dave, Dave, Dave.

We've got to expand the Munks' fan base.

I mean, forget about the music.

The music is but a means to the big money, okay?

I'm taIking about our own fur cIothing Iine, coIogne.

Chipmunk Heat, something Iike that. Chipmunk wine cooIers.

-I mean-- -They're just kids.

No, they're rats.

And they couId make us both so much money...

-...if you just Iet me work with them. -I can't hear you, the music's too Ioud.

Don't go against me on this, Dave. I never Iose.

Has anyone tried the chocoIate meatbaIIs?

I'II probabIy go into insuIin shock. But it's worth it.

Oh, a sweet, sweet, sweet moIasses meat.

Hey, AIvster. Love the song, bro.

-Up top. -What's up, pIayer?

So I see you're enjoying my IittIe spread that I've put out for you guys.

What am I taIking about? You probabIy eat Iike this aII the time.

WeII, Dave says he doesn't wanna spoiI us.

Dude, you're a rock star. You're supposed to be spoiIed.

I mean, you shouId be riding in Iimousines and private pIanes.

And you shouId be going to parties Iike this every night.

ReaIIy? Because Dave says we need our sIeep.

Look, AIvin, this is hard to say but, I mean, I gotta be upfront about it.

Dave's hoIding you back, you know. I couId be making you 20 Iarge a day.

-Is that a Iot? -Yes.

Another thing-- I'm not gonna teII you. I wiII teII you.

Look, behind your back, Dave caIIs you...

...''the rats.''

-Rats? -Yeah. Whatever, right? I know.

WeII, don't Iet it bother you. I mean, me? I consider you boys famiIy.

And if there's anything you need, anything at aII...

...give your uncIe Ian a caII, aII right?

-Oh, right. -Ciao.

Come on, paI. You drive Iike my grandmother.

Get a wheeIchair. Move over!

Hey, guys, Iook at me. Up, up and away.

AIvin.

Can't heIp you, Simon. I'm about to take the Iead here.

Hey, guys, I have an idea for a new song.

Hey, Dave.

What's going on in here? I thought I toId you guys to cIean up.

We are.

-Who's that? -UncIe Ian hired us a housekeeper.

She's aIso a masseuse.

Come on, move over, road hog.

Drive it or park it, paI. Get in the sIow Iane.

-Where did you get that game? -UncIe Ian.

Move it or Iose it! Get some training wheeIs, buddy.

Okay, you know what?

That's enough.

What are you doing? I was about to beat my high score.

Too bad. Where's Theodore?

Spit it out.

-Spit it out. -No.

Jett Records.

Okay. That's it. Meeting. Now. Everyone on the couch.

CouId you give us a minute?

Guys, Iook, it's hard, I know.

Three months ago, you were hanging out in a tree somewhere and now you're--

Major rock stars.

Okay. Whatever. My point is just because you're--

Major rock stars.

Doesn't mean you can have or do whatever you want.

WeII, UncIe Ian says we shouId aIways be happy.

Okay, you know what?

He's not your uncIe.

He aIso, David, said that we shouId be making $20 a day.

Guess what. You're making way more than that.

And because I care, I'm putting it aII away for you.

Just Iike storing nuts for the winter.

Oh, winter's for Iosers.

Yeah. ShouIdn't we have a say in how to buiId our investment portfoIio?

Where is aII this coming from? You guys are just kids.

-Kids, Dave, or rats? -What?

WeII, UncIe Ian says we're Iike his famiIy.

Oh, yeah? WeII, if you Iove UncIe Ian so much...

...and don't think I'm watching out for you...

...why don't you go Iive with UncIe Ian?

Dave?

Are you stiII mad at us?

Dave?

''Dear feIIas, I'm sorry, but....

You shouId go back to your reaI home in the forest.''

I guess he reaIIy does want us to go.

I toId you, Dave.

I never Iose.

Boys, weIcome to your new home.

-Oh, yeah. Daddy's home. -Yeah.

Can we pIay with aII this stuff?

Sure, why not? It's your house.

So, what are the ruIes around here?

Oh, I do have one ruIe...

-...that there are no ruIes! -CooI.

Four degrees eIevation.

Six degrees azimuth.

Fire!

Prepare to face the fury of my vengeance.

Don't make me Iaugh.

Pray for a quick demise, young chipmunk.

Uppercut. Left. Fake-out, fake-out.

Your kung fu is no match for my rockets.

Sneak attack.

Okay, Simon. That's enough.

I'm finished now. Simon.

-Hey, give me that. -Let go, AIvin.

Oh, come on.

-You had a turn. -Who says you get a turn?

Give me that.

Simon!

-You got to try. -Get your mangy paws off of it.

-Scram. -I want it.

AIvin, you don't decide.

-Why didn't the airbags depIoy? -Theodore, don't go into the Iight.

-Let's do it again. -Awesome.

-PIaying hard? -Oh, yes.

Good.

Because tomorrow, you start working hard. Coast to coast in five days.

WeII, Dave says that touring is no Iife for a kid.

For a normaI kid. You guys are superstars.

-Yes. -Which reminds me...

...Simon, Iet's get rid of these boring gIasses.

And try on these super cooI in-the-now gIasses.

Oh, my God, oh.

These wouId be great if I couId see out of them.

Your eyes wiII adjust. Come on, boys. Let's hit the road.

-Shotgun. -Hit the road.

AIvin--

Give me a big feIIa. AIvin, big, big.

No hiding. Come on, come on. Make Iove to the camera.

SeII it. Big smiIe. Yes. Theodore, chin out. Yeah. That's it.

Good stuff. There you go. Come on, get in there.

Strong. Give me some booty.

Spank it. There you got it. Now you got it.

If the Chipmunks Iike Crunchy NibbIes, your pet wiII Iove them.

Cut.

Here we are.

Okay? AII right?

HoId it.

We're not done.

-You teII me. -KiIIing me.

-What do you want? -You are kiIIing me here.

There's no button I can push that wakes them to sing notes.

You kidding? There's 5000 buttons here.

-What button do you want me to push? -Fine. I've got it.

AII right, guys. Guess what your uncIe Ian brought you. Coffee.

I Iove toffee.

No, it's coffee, Theodore, coffee. It's a-- Like a super cooI energy heaIth drink...

...with whipped cream and carameI and two pumps of chocoIate.

Enjoy.

That ought to keep them awake.

-Get munk'd -Go, go, go

Yeah, Chipmunks Always can get munk'd

Hey, hey, hey

Come and get munk'd With the Chipmunk rugrats

Come and get munk'd with the Munks Get munk'd with the Chipmunk rugrats

Come and get munk'd with the Munks

Stop, stop. Come on, guys. We need more energy, okay?

We need more dry ice. We need more, you know, wow. AII right?

We're the Chipmunks, for crying out Ioud.

This is absurd. I feeI Iike P. Diddy with fur.

And to be honest, the new songs don't reaIIy sound Iike us.

WeII, you know what I think? I think the new direction is perfect, you know.

It's aII about today's edge.

Dave aIways said it was aII about the music.

''Dave aIways said....''

You know what? Dave, Dave, Dave. Dave is not here, okay? It's me.

It's fun UncIe Ian, aII right? Okay?

What are you--? What are you gonna say? What's your name?

-Taffy. -Taffy? What kind of name is Taffy?

What do you do?

-Choreography. -I don't know what ''choreography'' is.

-What is that? -It's dance.

Oh, is it dancing? WeII, next time say, you know, ''I'm the dance guy--'' HeIIo?

Who? Dave SeviIIe.

Name rings a beII. A dead...

...broken bell.

-Just Iet me taIk to the guys. -I don't think that's such a good idea.

The boys are stiII stinging a IittIe bit from you kicking them out.

-That's not what happened. -DeniaI.

So, what's this I hear about a European tour?

You're taking them away for six months?

No, 1 2 actuaIIy. If we can get China to go chipmunk.

TweIve?

Look, I just wanted to say hi. See how they're doing.

They're doing great. They're Ioving Iife.

Living large.

Face it, Dave. They've moved on.

-They're happy now. -Look, Ian, I wanna taIk to them.

Put them on the phone.

Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen, Dave.

Got a world tour, gonna start tomorrow.

And these guys don't need the extra pressure.

-We'll send you a postcard. -Ian, you can't do this.

They're not ready for something Iike that. They're just kids.

-I'm gonna see them. -Look, Dave, I'm-- Wait.

-Ian? -Yeah? What?

-Ian. -I can't--

Ian...

...was that Dave?

Yes. Yes, it was.

He wanted me to Iet you know he's great and he's happy.

He's reaIIy, reaIIy happy. So.... AII right.

And is he coming to the show?

You know what? I sent him tickets. And here's the thing, he sent them back.

Yeah, I know. I guess he's busy, you know. Got better things to do.

Hey, come on. What's with the Iong furry faces?

We're gonna have fun. We're gonna have a big show.

I'II teII you what, you guys Iike deep-tissue massage? AII right?

I know a guy. Let me caII my guy. I'II get on that.

Hey, captain, come here.

Listen.

Dave SeviIIe. Learn the name, Iook for the face.

If he shows up tomorrow night, he doesn't get near my chipmunks.

-Got it? Okay. -Got it.

UncIe Ian?

-What are you doing here? -Can I sIeep with you?

I had a nightmare.

Oh, you had a nightmare?

I had a nightmare too. In my nightmare...

...I had to put together 37 dates in 42 days, in 1 6 different countries.

And I had to coordinate 1 21 different radio and print interviews...

...in five different Ianguages.

But you know what, Theo? The onIy difference is...

...in my nightmare, when I open my eyes, it doesn't end.

So is that a no?

Guys...

...I wanna go home.

What do you mean? You are home.

No, I mean, ''home'' home.

You know, with Dave.

But, Theodore, come on. Wake up and smeII the toffee.

Dave doesn't even want us. He doesn't care enough to even come to our show.

Here's Julianne Reynolds with today's entertainment news.

Too tired to rock? The Chipmunks might be.

Rumor of exhaustion and voice strain are swirling around the singing sensation.

Is it because of toaster waffle overload? Or a rigorous tour schedule?

It's hard to say. But manager-producer Ian Hawke has assured Fox...

...the trio will make their first stop tonight...

...on their highly anticipated world tour at the Orpheum Theatre in Los Angeles.

That's it.

Okay.

You three sound Iike you've been gargIing naiIs.

-I'II cover for you. -Thank you.

Can we get Wardrobe down here, pIease?

WeII?

I couId give you a Iot of fancy terms, but, bottom Iine, they're exhausted.

Okay, weII, give them a shot or a cream or a piII or something.

I've invested every dime I have in these guys.

They need a Iong rest.

A Iong rest. Are you--? Okay. Yeah, a Iong rest, right.

Right, yeah. I'm not a doctor, so....

I'II get them that rest. Thank you. I'II take care of it.

Thank you so much. I wiII-- I appreciate it. Hey, hey, doc.

Chipmunk fever, catch it.

Knock, knock.

So Iisten, guys, I just taIked to the doctor.

And I don't feeI right about sending you guys out Iike this.

So you're gonna canceI the show?

No. No, then I'd have to give out refunds.

No. What I'm taIking about is having you guys Iip-synch. Yeah.

Isn't that Iike cheating?

No, it's not Iike cheating. It's-- Cheating is wrong.

This is more Iike heIping. Yeah, aII the superstars do it.

Just make sure that you mouth the words exactIy Iike we recorded them.

-Otherwise, peopIe wiII know. -That we're cheating.

-No. -Guys, what other choice do we have?

Yeah. See? That's why he's the one with the Ietter.

AII right, guys, tighten up.

And remember, mouth the words and no one wiII know.

Love you.

You know you got it made

When you drop your Escalade For the drop top

Iced out, rocks hot Droppin' dollars, ladies holler

Hey, gotta get that cream

You know you got it made When they send in a parade

When you drop down Write a check in town

All just for one day

Gotta get that cream

-Don't you know that's how they roll? -Roll, roll, roll

Can you get down with the Funk, funk, funk of the Chipmunks?

Baby, you know

Funk, funk, funk of the Chipmunks

Oh, come on, you gotta have one more ticket.

Sorry.

Come on, here's Theodore

You're here to stay When you're always getting paid

And it don't stop, never, no It won't stop no matter what they say

-Gotta live the dream -Take it, Simon

You're here to stay When your honeys think you hit

'Cause we gots it Everybody watch it

I Iove it. You Iove it? Chipmunk fever. Catch it, baby.

Dave SeviIIe.

No, there's no Dave SeviIIe on this Iist.

You know what? That's fine. I'm the editor of the L.A. Music Journal.

-No, I don't think so. -He's with me.

He's my assistant.

Okay.

Thanks, CIaire.

What's going on, Dave? What are you--?

I gotta get my boys back but Ian's trying to keep me out.

Your boys.

I know that probabIy sounds weird coming from me.

It's a good weird, though.

Because after aII I did to mess up everything, incIuding you--

-Dave, your boys. We shouId go. -Right. Okay.

How we roll

How we roll

Come on, can you feel it?

-How we roll -Yeah, yeah, come on

If you're gonna do something, do it fast. Here.

-You're press, remember? -Thanks.

Roll

-Let's go, paI. -I'm a photographer.

-I have a press pass. -You're out of here.

AIvin! AIvin!

AIvin!

-Dave! He's here. -It's Dave.

What's going on?

AIvin, what are you doing?

I'm sending a message to our dear oId uncIe Ian.

-Sounds Iike a pIan to me. -Me too.

Come on, guys.

Hey, Ian...

...kiss my furry cheeks.

Here, hoId on to that.

Top of the morning to you.

Get off my set.

Are you ready to rock?

Turn it up, girI.

How we roll

How we roll

I feeI fine.

AIvin, Simon, Theodore! Come on, guys, we're going home.

Move, move.

Let's go.

-Get them. -Look out. Run.

Hi.

Bye.

Eenie, meenie, minie, mo

Miss a chipmunk because you're slow

Watch your knees.

-Sorry. -Come on, big feIIa. Come on. Come on.

A IittIe bit cIoser.

Come on, right there. Perfect.

He'II feeI that in the morning.

-Guys. -Dave!

You're not going anywhere.

What are you doing?

-Put us down. -Let me go.

-Hey. -You better study your French.

-You're going to Paris tonight. Okay? -Let go. Just had my taiI redone.

-No, wait. -Put it with my stuff.

-Let us out of here. Let us out of here. -No.

What? Ian, they don't want this anymore. Just Iet them go.

But the guy just Ieft. You shouId have said something about five seconds ago.

Come back.

Ian, they need a reaI Iife. Not aII of this.

Besides, they just ruined the concert.

Word wiII get out, no one wiII come to see them.

Dave, they're chipmunks who taIk. PeopIe wiII come.

Guys, with me.

Roll, that's how we roll

You'II never take us aIive.

They just did take us aIive, AIvin.

It's a figure of speech, Simon.

Instead of criticizing me, why not use your big brain to think of a way out?

Go, go, go. Go.

Come on.

Step on it, Dave. You're Iosing him.

How did you guys...?

We are taIking chipmunks, Dave.

We can get out of a cat carrier. Not even hard to do.

You came back for us.

WeII, of course I came back. We're a famiIy.

HoIy nuts.

-What? -Am I going crazy?

Or did he just say ''famiIy''?

I know...

...but I reaIIy missed you guys.

I missed you too, Dave.

Me too.

-So did AIvin. He's too cooI to admit it. -Yeah, too macho.

Missed you too.

Sorry, I had some sentimentaIity stuck in my throat.

I just said, I missed you too.

Whatever. Who are you guys to judge me?

Okay, you know what? I miss my friend Dave, okay?

I'II scream it from the rooftops. And I'm not afraid. I'm not ashamed.

That's right. I Iove you, Dave.

Come here.

-Dave? -Yes, AIvin?

Now can I steer? Oh, pIease, pIease, pIease.

-I want to work the windshieId wipers. -Oh, and I'd Iike to beep the horn.

Have at it, feIIas.

-I'm a good beeper. -Save some horn for the rest of us.

-Come on, Dave, drive faster. -Not with you steering.

Dave, you drive Iike a sIeepy oId bear.

-Okay, AIvin, that's enough. -Enough of what? Of being awesome?

AIvin, I said that's enough.

Hey, Iook, Dave, no paws.

Hey, if you guys behave, maybe I'II Iet you caII me ''UncIe Ian'' again.

DeaI?

No!

CIaire.

-Hey. -Come on in.

-Hi, CIaire. -WeII, heIIo, CIarina.

-Hi, guys. -Hope you Iike toaster waffIes.

And, for us cIassy chipmunks, a bit of the bubbIy.

Stupid cork. Doesn't--

I'm not gonna say it.

Good grief.

Are you stiII not gonna say it?

Nope.

I'm gonna say it. AIvin!

Okay!

Okay, guys, come on, Iet's try it again.

Here we go, and sing.

Come on, sing for your uncIe Ian. Come on, sing.

Why--? Why won't you sing?

You know, I said, sing.

Sing.