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1
00:00:01,531 --> 00:00:05,355
(menacing foreboding music)
2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
4
00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:18,248
(exciting unsettling music)
5
00:00:20,465 --> 00:00:23,419
(liquid gurgling)
6
00:00:25,727 --> 00:00:28,508
(man screaming)
7
00:00:36,293 --> 00:00:39,464
(door opening)
8
00:00:39,508 --> 00:00:43,562
- Movie time and you can't
have movies without snackies.
9
00:00:43,606 --> 00:00:45,001
What am I gonna get, what am I gonna get?
10
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,063
I love snackies!
11
00:00:48,107 --> 00:00:50,975
Mm, so many choices.
12
00:00:51,019 --> 00:00:52,586
So many choices.
13
00:00:53,694 --> 00:00:54,562
Ooh.
14
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,829
Oh, I know I could have everything.
15
00:01:00,873 --> 00:01:02,362
I know I could grab everything I want.
16
00:01:02,406 --> 00:01:05,459
But I gotta watch my girlish figure.
17
00:01:05,503 --> 00:01:06,522
And I just don't know.
18
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,742
What's the thing?
19
00:01:07,786 --> 00:01:12,419
Chippies, peanut butter, cereal.
20
00:01:13,511 --> 00:01:15,844
Could down a whole bottle of hot sauce
21
00:01:15,888 --> 00:01:17,361
and some peanut butter?
22
00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:19,817
Maybe.
23
00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:23,101
No, that's too strange.
24
00:01:23,145 --> 00:01:24,587
Probably some popcorny.
25
00:01:25,863 --> 00:01:26,861
Mm-hm.
26
00:01:26,905 --> 00:01:28,607
(wrapper rustling)
27
00:01:28,651 --> 00:01:31,360
Definitely, definitely this popcorn.
28
00:01:31,403 --> 00:01:32,423
This is good.
29
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,206
Maybe the peanut butter.
30
00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:36,646
Maybe some olives.
31
00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:40,369
No, I'll start with, I'll start with just the popcorn.
32
00:01:40,412 --> 00:01:42,089
Just the popcorn for now.
33
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,779
And then something to drink.
34
00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:46,908
Gotta go somewhere else for that though.
35
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:52,672
(door opening)
36
00:01:52,715 --> 00:01:56,365
♪ I got myself my popcorn ♪
37
00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,920
I'm starting to think that
maybe I want some sweet treats.
38
00:02:00,964 --> 00:02:02,359
No, this will be good.
39
00:02:02,403 --> 00:02:04,987
I gotta, I gotta keep my figure in check.
40
00:02:05,031 --> 00:02:05,856
So let's see here.
41
00:02:05,899 --> 00:02:07,802
What we gonna get for a drink?
42
00:02:07,846 --> 00:02:10,618
Just some plane old la chuga.
43
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:12,901
I know they call it, actually, it's called agua,
44
00:02:12,945 --> 00:02:15,179
but I like calling it la chuga.
45
00:02:18,144 --> 00:02:21,968
(foreboding menacing music)
46
00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:52,930
(foreboding music continues)
47
00:03:20,416 --> 00:03:24,326
(foreboding music continues)
48
00:03:51,655 --> 00:03:55,565
(foreboding music continues)
49
00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:26,811
(foreboding music continues)
50
00:05:00,108 --> 00:05:01,101
(door creaking)
51
00:05:01,144 --> 00:05:02,013
Ooh.
52
00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:07,044
My DVD and Blue-ray dojo.
53
00:05:07,088 --> 00:05:08,577
My sanctuary!
54
00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:11,549
So many movies everywhere.
55
00:05:11,592 --> 00:05:14,614
But tonight, I think I'm just gonna watch TV.
56
00:05:14,658 --> 00:05:17,711
I'm gonna channel surf and find, I'm sure I'm gonna find
57
00:05:17,755 --> 00:05:19,212
the most perfect thing to watch.
58
00:05:19,256 --> 00:05:24,470
Like maybe a strange movie
or a horror movie, anything.
59
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,940
It's gonna be mysterious for me tonight.
60
00:05:27,984 --> 00:05:30,161
Sorry, DVDs and Blue-rays, I'm not watching you tonight.
61
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,225
I'm watching the, the TV.
62
00:05:32,269 --> 00:05:33,729
So I'm gonna find something.
63
00:05:37,368 --> 00:05:38,789
Oh, I'm living.
64
00:05:43,155 --> 00:05:44,675
- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
65
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,397
And welcome to "Terror Telly."
66
00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:49,086
What was that?
67
00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:52,183
A ghost in the air, perhaps a witch's spell.
68
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,310
Tonight, I, your hideous host,
69
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,406
Maurice Morbid, wish to delight you
70
00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:59,487
with some fantastic films you've never seen before.
71
00:06:00,422 --> 00:06:02,412
To start our evening,
72
00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:04,984
I will greet you with a beautiful tale,
73
00:06:05,028 --> 00:06:08,856
"Fiendish Thieves," a tale of two bungling burglars
74
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:12,359
who go into an old scientific warehouse
75
00:06:12,403 --> 00:06:16,190
and find much more than they bargained for.
76
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:19,952
(Maurice laughing sinisterly)
77
00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:22,678
(ominous music)
78
00:06:22,722 --> 00:06:26,285
(lively '80s club music)
79
00:06:54,584 --> 00:06:59,015
(lively '80s club music continues)
80
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:29,898
(lively '80s club music continues)
81
00:07:57,331 --> 00:08:01,763
(lively '80s club music continues)
82
00:08:13,262 --> 00:08:17,015
(footsteps approaching)
83
00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:18,884
- [Steve] Ted, bloody cold in here.
84
00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:24,335
- [Ted] When we get to the top,
85
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,446
we're in good stead.
86
00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:29,010
We're gonna be treated with a log fire.
87
00:08:29,053 --> 00:08:30,685
A nice cup of hot chocolate.
88
00:08:30,729 --> 00:08:32,197
- [Steve] Oh, I love hot chocolate.
89
00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:33,255
- [Ted] I know you do.
90
00:08:34,983 --> 00:08:37,630
Steve, in case you hadn't noticed, all (indistinct)
91
00:08:37,673 --> 00:08:38,974
break in, not (indistinct).
92
00:08:40,865 --> 00:08:41,756
- [Steve] There'll be no hot chocolate then?
93
00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:43,604
- [Ted] No, no, no.
94
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,316
- [Steve] Or the York chocolate?
95
00:08:46,432 --> 00:08:47,257
- [Ted] What are we doing here?
96
00:08:47,301 --> 00:08:48,516
It's called a burglary.
97
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,549
The whole point is we break in.
98
00:08:50,593 --> 00:08:52,050
Steal what we need to steal.
99
00:08:52,094 --> 00:08:53,774
And then get out of there.
100
00:08:53,818 --> 00:08:55,147
There's no hot chocolate.
101
00:08:55,191 --> 00:08:56,859
And there ain't no marshmallows.
102
00:08:58,127 --> 00:08:59,807
- [Steve] Or maybe that (indistinct).
103
00:09:02,698 --> 00:09:06,181
So, Ted, what is this?
104
00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:10,880
- [Ted] Some kind of science warehouse or something.
105
00:09:10,923 --> 00:09:12,909
- [Steve] What is it we're supposed to be stealing?
106
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:15,292
- [Ted] Have you not listened to a word (indistinct)
107
00:09:15,336 --> 00:09:16,841
when he delivered our brief?
108
00:09:20,404 --> 00:09:24,020
We're meant to be stealing a rare-rated pocket watch.
109
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,178
Apparently, it's worth millions.
110
00:09:26,222 --> 00:09:27,085
- [Steve] Pocket watch?
111
00:09:27,129 --> 00:09:31,465
But pocket watch is like really small.
112
00:09:31,509 --> 00:09:33,076
- Well, the clue in the name.
113
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:40,163
- So how are we meant to find tiny, little pocket watch?
114
00:09:40,553 --> 00:09:43,247
There's (indistinct).
115
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:48,505
- You look up there (indistinct).
116
00:09:49,071 --> 00:09:50,721
They gave us a map.
117
00:09:52,151 --> 00:09:53,925
- I, I thought you said this place
118
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,708
had been abandoned for years.
119
00:09:55,752 --> 00:10:00,369
So how is it then that Big Tom knows it's still there?
120
00:10:00,412 --> 00:10:01,870
And how is it that he's given you
121
00:10:01,914 --> 00:10:03,313
a map to show you where it is.
122
00:10:03,357 --> 00:10:05,217
And how is it if he knows where it is,
123
00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:06,562
he don't come here... Stop.
124
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,176
With all the questions.
125
00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:10,413
We got a job to do.
126
00:10:10,457 --> 00:10:12,456
Let's get on and do it.
127
00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:14,618
- All right.
128
00:10:24,168 --> 00:10:27,992
(foreboding menacing music)
129
00:10:55,105 --> 00:10:59,797
(foreboding menacing music continues)
130
00:11:26,389 --> 00:11:31,081
(foreboding menacing music continues)
131
00:11:57,685 --> 00:12:02,377
(foreboding menacing music continues)
132
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:33,559
(foreboding menacing music continues)
133
00:12:59,023 --> 00:13:01,977
(vacuous humming)
134
00:13:10,728 --> 00:13:11,862
Creepy this, isn't it?
135
00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:13,906
It is quite fun though, it's like,
136
00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,220
it's like being in "Scooby-Doo," isn't it?
137
00:13:15,264 --> 00:13:17,566
You know, it's like, like, like I'm Shaggy.
138
00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:19,192
And you're, you're Scooby, and.
139
00:13:19,236 --> 00:13:21,628
No, probably you'd be Shaggy, yeah.
140
00:13:21,672 --> 00:13:22,820
I'd be, be, like, "Shaggy."
141
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,994
And all that kind of stuff, you know what I mean?
142
00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:28,511
And... Don't you ever shut up?
143
00:13:28,555 --> 00:13:29,891
- No, sorry, I, I'm nervous.
144
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,706
And when I get nervous, my mouth runs away with me.
145
00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,176
And I just can't stop talking.
146
00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:35,459
There's (indistinct).
147
00:13:35,503 --> 00:13:36,616
That.
148
00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:37,774
- That's all.
149
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,242
- I'll shut up. - Yes.
150
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,154
- Sorry.
151
00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:47,188
(Steve speaking indistinctly)
152
00:13:47,232 --> 00:13:49,925
Ted, Ted, you stored your lamp.
153
00:13:56,569 --> 00:14:00,566
(foreboding unsettling music)
154
00:14:27,621 --> 00:14:32,488
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
155
00:14:59,111 --> 00:15:03,977
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
156
00:15:30,023 --> 00:15:31,637
- Come to think of it, ladies and gentlemen,
157
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:35,266
this is the very film that made me, I, Maurice Morbid
158
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,565
scared of staircases.
159
00:15:40,295 --> 00:15:42,988
(bag rustling)
160
00:15:48,886 --> 00:15:50,766
- Ready, everyone, you ready?
161
00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:54,191
(hooting like a chimp)
162
00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:55,677
Ugh, dammit.
163
00:15:57,363 --> 00:15:59,478
Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on.
164
00:15:59,522 --> 00:16:02,543
Come on, Shawn C., you can do this, come on, come on.
165
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:03,456
Oh, yes.
166
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:09,112
I got it figured out, I have got it figured out.
167
00:16:09,156 --> 00:16:10,981
I have everything figured out here.
168
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,739
Come on, come on, can you do it again, Shawn C.?
169
00:16:13,783 --> 00:16:14,825
Can you do it again?
170
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:17,718
Aw, dang.
171
00:16:17,762 --> 00:16:19,060
All right, come on, come on, come on.
172
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,198
Try again, try again.
173
00:16:21,137 --> 00:16:22,336
Everyone, you watching?
174
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,144
Ooh, yes.
175
00:16:25,272 --> 00:16:26,141
Ooh, yes.
176
00:16:28,577 --> 00:16:32,573
(foreboding unsettling music)
177
00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:04,900
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
178
00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:34,846
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
179
00:17:36,158 --> 00:17:39,025
(static hissing)
180
00:17:44,073 --> 00:17:46,940
(items rattling)
181
00:17:55,637 --> 00:17:58,010
- [Ted] I found (indistinct) here.
182
00:17:58,054 --> 00:18:00,130
- What, what? - You've been using
183
00:18:00,173 --> 00:18:02,663
my toothpaste again, haven't ya?
184
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,634
- No. - Yes you have.
185
00:18:04,678 --> 00:18:05,635
- No. - It was squeezed
186
00:18:05,679 --> 00:18:07,087
in the middle this morning.
187
00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:10,640
- No. - Yeah.
188
00:18:10,684 --> 00:18:11,735
It was squeezed in the middle.
189
00:18:11,779 --> 00:18:13,190
I always roll it up.
190
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,709
And just squeeze it from one end.
191
00:18:16,753 --> 00:18:18,023
And this morning when I went in there,
192
00:18:18,066 --> 00:18:19,630
it was squeezed in the middle.
193
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,030
So have you been using my toothpaste?
194
00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:26,950
- [Steve] Well, I had one, one squeeze.
195
00:18:26,994 --> 00:18:28,658
- [Ted] What does it matter whether it's one squeeze,
196
00:18:28,702 --> 00:18:32,600
two squeeze, three squeeze,
you've been using my toothpaste.
197
00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:34,258
Don't use my toothpaste.
198
00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:35,627
It's my toothpaste.
199
00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:37,824
You got your own toothpaste.
200
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,588
It's right next to my toothpaste.
201
00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:43,079
- [Steve] But it was only one-
202
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,050
- [Ted] It doesn't matter how many squeezes.
203
00:18:45,093 --> 00:18:46,160
Don't use it.
204
00:18:48,977 --> 00:18:51,845
(items rattling)
205
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:56,556
- [Steve] Only one squeeze.
206
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:12,285
(metal scraping)
207
00:19:12,329 --> 00:19:13,154
- You know something?
208
00:19:13,197 --> 00:19:15,080
These burglars are pretty darn stupid.
209
00:19:15,123 --> 00:19:17,645
If I, I was a bungling burglar,
210
00:19:17,688 --> 00:19:21,617
I would bungle better and
faster than these burglars.
211
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,151
Just look at them, aren't they a disgrace,
212
00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:25,809
ladies and gentlemen?
213
00:19:25,853 --> 00:19:28,906
Yes, bungle, you burglars.
214
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:31,174
Bungle, why don't you?
215
00:19:32,178 --> 00:19:34,630
I can't believe these people are paid more than me.
216
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,320
It's a disgrace.
217
00:19:36,363 --> 00:19:38,150
I'm going to complain to my agent.
218
00:19:41,775 --> 00:19:43,047
- This is ridiculous.
219
00:19:46,462 --> 00:19:47,591
What are you?
220
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:58,497
(foreboding unsettling music)
221
00:20:25,352 --> 00:20:30,218
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
222
00:20:56,686 --> 00:21:01,553
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
223
00:21:18,317 --> 00:21:21,185
(water spraying)
224
00:21:28,382 --> 00:21:31,794
- [Steve] Which (indistinct), where'd you hear that?
225
00:21:31,838 --> 00:21:35,300
Found it, it was disgusting out back.
226
00:21:35,344 --> 00:21:38,082
- [Ted] What, for stealing?
227
00:21:38,126 --> 00:21:42,122
(foreboding unsettling music)
228
00:22:08,585 --> 00:22:13,452
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
229
00:22:40,113 --> 00:22:44,979
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
230
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:16,297
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
231
00:23:42,475 --> 00:23:47,341
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
232
00:24:13,938 --> 00:24:18,804
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
233
00:24:27,357 --> 00:24:30,399
(Maurice cackling)
234
00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:35,541
- I'm getting kind of freaked out here.
235
00:24:43,122 --> 00:24:45,848
(bag rustling)
236
00:24:45,892 --> 00:24:46,716
(Sean crunching)
237
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,398
- Mm-hm, mm-hm, woo woo.
238
00:24:52,961 --> 00:24:56,421
I like cheese pop pop pop popcorn.
239
00:24:56,465 --> 00:25:01,678
I like cheese pop pop pop
popcorn, I like cheese popcorn.
240
00:25:05,161 --> 00:25:06,029
Yeah oh.
241
00:25:10,321 --> 00:25:12,233
I like cheese popcorn.
242
00:25:14,003 --> 00:25:16,871
(items rattling)
243
00:25:18,766 --> 00:25:21,100
- [Steve] Here, Ted.
244
00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:23,160
Well, (indistinct).
245
00:25:23,204 --> 00:25:25,011
Little bit thirsty.
246
00:25:25,055 --> 00:25:26,504
- [Ted] Well, there's a sink here.
247
00:25:26,548 --> 00:25:28,493
- [Steve] All right.
248
00:25:28,536 --> 00:25:29,405
Oh my, oh!
249
00:25:30,694 --> 00:25:33,996
Ooh, oh, that's disgusting, oh no, no.
250
00:25:36,616 --> 00:25:38,252
(Ted laughing)
251
00:25:38,296 --> 00:25:39,425
Oh my, oh no.
252
00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:41,909
Here, Ted.
253
00:25:42,847 --> 00:25:43,715
Ted, Ted?
254
00:25:45,867 --> 00:25:47,479
Ted?
255
00:25:47,523 --> 00:25:48,392
Ted!
256
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:57,696
(disembodied grumbling)
257
00:25:59,201 --> 00:26:03,198
(Steve speaking indistinctly)
258
00:26:11,234 --> 00:26:12,724
Ted?
259
00:26:12,768 --> 00:26:13,637
Ted!
260
00:26:14,542 --> 00:26:18,538
(foreboding unsettling music)
261
00:26:24,901 --> 00:26:25,770
Ted?
262
00:26:27,529 --> 00:26:29,095
Ted?
263
00:26:29,139 --> 00:26:30,007
Ted!
264
00:26:31,275 --> 00:26:36,141
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
265
00:26:37,874 --> 00:26:38,743
Ted?
266
00:26:40,387 --> 00:26:42,053
Ted?
267
00:26:42,096 --> 00:26:42,965
Ted!
268
00:26:45,265 --> 00:26:50,132
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
269
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:54,856
Ted?
270
00:26:56,555 --> 00:26:58,062
Ted?
271
00:26:58,106 --> 00:26:58,975
Ted!
272
00:27:00,243 --> 00:27:01,111
Ted?
273
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,052
Ted?
274
00:27:04,095 --> 00:27:04,964
Ted!
275
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,008
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
276
00:27:09,051 --> 00:27:12,527
(disembodied grumbling)
277
00:27:27,865 --> 00:27:28,734
Ted, Ted!
278
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,786
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
279
00:27:42,837 --> 00:27:43,662
Where are you?
280
00:27:43,706 --> 00:27:46,414
It's bloody dark in here!
281
00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:47,500
We... Oh, oh!
282
00:27:50,018 --> 00:27:51,737
Oh, Ted, don't do that, all right.
283
00:27:51,781 --> 00:27:55,084
Oh. - Oh, I wasn't expecting that!
284
00:27:55,988 --> 00:27:57,852
- Come on, don't go in there!
285
00:27:57,896 --> 00:27:59,667
You know that's the wrong.
286
00:27:59,710 --> 00:28:00,762
Come on now.
287
00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:01,856
Come on.
288
00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:04,140
This is just absurd.
289
00:28:04,184 --> 00:28:05,008
Come on.
290
00:28:05,052 --> 00:28:07,174
You know, you know better than that.
291
00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:08,676
Come on.
292
00:28:08,719 --> 00:28:10,190
Are you really doing that?
293
00:28:21,465 --> 00:28:25,461
(foreboding unsettling music)
294
00:28:52,068 --> 00:28:56,934
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
295
00:29:16,269 --> 00:29:18,963
(bag rustling)
296
00:29:20,167 --> 00:29:21,036
Oh man.
297
00:29:30,854 --> 00:29:32,869
Ooh, I feel some air coming.
298
00:29:33,992 --> 00:29:35,888
Ooh, not a burp.
299
00:29:35,932 --> 00:29:37,421
Not a burp.
300
00:29:37,464 --> 00:29:38,333
Not a burp.
301
00:29:39,433 --> 00:29:42,330
(Sean farting)
302
00:29:42,374 --> 00:29:45,460
Ooh, oh, ripe one, ripe one.
303
00:29:45,504 --> 00:29:47,180
Ooh, ooh.
304
00:29:47,224 --> 00:29:50,746
Oh, I usually like my own brand, but woo.
305
00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:53,280
Ripe, ooh, stinky.
306
00:29:53,324 --> 00:29:56,815
Oh, that might've been wet, might.
307
00:29:56,859 --> 00:29:59,568
Might've been wet, might've been wet, might've been wet.
308
00:29:59,612 --> 00:30:02,561
Oh, I think it was wet.
309
00:30:02,605 --> 00:30:04,282
Uh-oh.
310
00:30:04,326 --> 00:30:05,194
Oh, well.
311
00:30:07,918 --> 00:30:08,786
Come on.
312
00:30:24,237 --> 00:30:28,234
(foreboding unsettling music)
313
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:59,946
(foreboding unsettling music continues)
314
00:31:21,350 --> 00:31:23,770
Getting myself a little scared here, myself.
315
00:31:23,814 --> 00:31:25,544
Getting a little freaked out.
316
00:31:27,393 --> 00:31:28,262
No.
317
00:31:31,270 --> 00:31:34,051
(Sean munching)
318
00:31:40,431 --> 00:31:41,300
Dripping.
319
00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:49,021
(Sean crunching)
320
00:31:49,065 --> 00:31:50,429
- [Steve] So, Ted.
321
00:31:50,472 --> 00:31:52,462
Which way do we go now then?
322
00:31:52,506 --> 00:31:55,715
- [Ted] Well, we're map on.
323
00:31:55,759 --> 00:31:57,123
- Fine. - Hold that.
324
00:31:57,167 --> 00:31:58,098
- [Steve] All right.
325
00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,887
- [Ted] Well, I can't, can't really see in this light.
326
00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:11,981
Use your head. - Eh?
327
00:32:12,025 --> 00:32:13,738
- Use your head! - Oh, here.
328
00:32:16,825 --> 00:32:18,389
- [Ted] Other way.
329
00:32:21,171 --> 00:32:23,952
(Ted grumbling)
330
00:32:25,332 --> 00:32:26,750
It's that way. - The subway?
331
00:32:26,794 --> 00:32:28,723
- [Ted] No, it's definitely that way.
332
00:32:30,243 --> 00:32:32,846
- That way. - This way.
333
00:32:32,890 --> 00:32:33,758
- [Steve] Ted?
334
00:32:37,613 --> 00:32:39,274
Here, Ted, hold up, Ted!
335
00:32:40,554 --> 00:32:42,137
- Don't go, no, no, no, don't go in there.
336
00:32:42,180 --> 00:32:43,357
Don't go in there.
337
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,577
Oh no, don't, come on, come on.
338
00:32:44,620 --> 00:32:45,445
You don't wanna go in there.
339
00:32:45,489 --> 00:32:46,469
You know you don't.
340
00:32:47,429 --> 00:32:50,123
(wood banging)
341
00:32:51,815 --> 00:32:54,868
- Well, according to that map,
342
00:32:54,912 --> 00:32:56,320
watch is in here somewhere.
343
00:32:59,197 --> 00:33:00,937
- Here, Ted, what's that?
344
00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:01,849
- Table.
345
00:33:03,045 --> 00:33:03,987
- Sun Mary.
346
00:33:04,922 --> 00:33:07,459
And I look (indistinct) too scary.
347
00:33:08,576 --> 00:33:11,072
- The table? - No, not at the table.
348
00:33:11,116 --> 00:33:14,356
The body, that's one of them there past the tables.
349
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,233
You go lift that, that cover, there'll be all sorts
350
00:33:16,277 --> 00:33:17,578
of blood and guts, and maggots over there.
351
00:33:17,622 --> 00:33:18,830
Don't make me (indistinct).
352
00:33:18,873 --> 00:33:19,742
- You're a wuss.
353
00:33:21,126 --> 00:33:22,116
- Oh, (indistinct).
354
00:33:24,350 --> 00:33:25,661
(plastic rustling)
355
00:33:25,705 --> 00:33:29,215
Well, well?
356
00:33:29,259 --> 00:33:30,335
What is it?
357
00:33:30,379 --> 00:33:31,247
- Well.
358
00:33:37,617 --> 00:33:38,486
It's ah,
359
00:33:40,270 --> 00:33:41,399
it's um,
360
00:33:43,385 --> 00:33:45,419
it's, it's blue.
361
00:33:45,462 --> 00:33:50,676
- Here, it says here deck, deck, decadid?
362
00:33:50,989 --> 00:33:52,940
- [Ted] Deceased.
363
00:33:52,984 --> 00:33:55,491
- Morovian sea creature.
364
00:33:55,535 --> 00:33:56,904
- [Ted] It's one of them there.
365
00:33:58,272 --> 00:34:01,140
Oh (indistinct).
366
00:34:02,599 --> 00:34:03,967
- Google it. - I ain't got a signal,
367
00:34:04,011 --> 00:34:05,435
have I?
368
00:34:05,478 --> 00:34:09,285
(Steve speaking indistinctly)
369
00:34:09,329 --> 00:34:12,110
- Uh, Morovian. - Uh, Mooroovian.
370
00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:15,045
Moroovian.
371
00:34:16,409 --> 00:34:20,319
(both grunting indistinctly)
372
00:34:24,126 --> 00:34:26,516
- [Ted] We need to get some lights on, is all.
373
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,559
- Marovian. - Maroovian.
374
00:34:31,905 --> 00:34:35,728
(Ted speaking indistinctly)
375
00:34:37,112 --> 00:34:40,142
- [Ted] Here, some switches in here.
376
00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:42,643
Probably a light.
377
00:34:42,686 --> 00:34:43,550
That'd be handy, wouldn't it?
378
00:34:43,594 --> 00:34:46,374
Since you're scared of the dark.
379
00:34:55,795 --> 00:34:57,150
- [Steve] Here, Ted, I found something.
380
00:34:57,194 --> 00:34:58,018
(electricity buzzing)
381
00:34:58,062 --> 00:34:58,887
How you getting on with that?
382
00:34:58,931 --> 00:35:00,326
(Ted grunting)
383
00:35:00,370 --> 00:35:05,100
(electricity buzzing continues)
384
00:35:05,144 --> 00:35:08,707
(Ted grunting continues)
385
00:35:21,765 --> 00:35:25,241
(electricity buzzing continues)
386
00:35:25,285 --> 00:35:28,848
(Ted grunting continues)
387
00:35:39,605 --> 00:35:42,886
(Ted grunting continues)
388
00:35:42,930 --> 00:35:47,101
(electricity buzzing continues)
389
00:36:01,103 --> 00:36:05,274
(electricity buzzing continues)
390
00:36:09,099 --> 00:36:12,662
(Ted grunting continues)
391
00:36:23,902 --> 00:36:26,683
(phone ringing)
392
00:36:29,144 --> 00:36:30,291
- Disturbing my movie.
393
00:36:33,255 --> 00:36:34,124
Hello?
394
00:36:35,226 --> 00:36:36,621
Oh hey, Steve.
395
00:36:36,665 --> 00:36:38,279
Steve, this is not the time for this.
396
00:36:38,323 --> 00:36:41,032
I'm watching this outstanding movie.
397
00:36:41,076 --> 00:36:42,987
This, I don't have time for this.
398
00:36:43,860 --> 00:36:45,693
What do you want?
399
00:36:45,736 --> 00:36:47,444
No, you're not borrowing any of my movies.
400
00:36:47,488 --> 00:36:48,602
Quit calling and asking about
401
00:36:48,646 --> 00:36:51,167
borrowing my DVDs and Blue-rays.
402
00:36:51,211 --> 00:36:53,826
I know I've got thousands and thousands of 'em.
403
00:36:53,870 --> 00:36:55,828
I'm a hoarder and I don't want you taking 'em.
404
00:36:55,872 --> 00:36:56,696
You know what you do?
405
00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:59,425
You grab the out-of-print ones, you grab the rare ones.
406
00:36:59,469 --> 00:37:01,271
You always come in here
looking for the rarest things
407
00:37:01,315 --> 00:37:03,304
you can find like "Camp Cucamonga,"
408
00:37:03,348 --> 00:37:04,524
and all that kind of stuff,
409
00:37:04,568 --> 00:37:06,151
and trying to get my rare movies.
410
00:37:06,194 --> 00:37:08,153
And you know what you do, you never bring 'em back.
411
00:37:08,196 --> 00:37:09,341
And you know what I bet you do with them?
412
00:37:09,385 --> 00:37:11,031
I bet you're flipping 'em online.
413
00:37:11,074 --> 00:37:13,533
I bet you're making big profits off my movies.
414
00:37:13,577 --> 00:37:16,067
So no, you're not borrowing any of my movies.
415
00:37:16,111 --> 00:37:17,443
So sorry, okay?
416
00:37:17,487 --> 00:37:18,312
Leave me alone.
417
00:37:18,356 --> 00:37:20,227
I'm watching TV, I'm watching TV,
418
00:37:20,271 --> 00:37:22,970
and I'm enjoying some popcorn and some la chuga.
419
00:37:23,013 --> 00:37:24,622
So leave me alone, good-bye.
420
00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:31,759
This is my time, my time to watch TV and chill out.
421
00:37:36,285 --> 00:37:37,558
Back to the movie.
422
00:37:37,602 --> 00:37:42,815
(Ted grunting) (electricity buzzing)
423
00:38:08,947 --> 00:38:10,449
(Ted grunting continues)
424
00:38:10,493 --> 00:38:14,664
(electricity buzzing continues)
425
00:38:41,346 --> 00:38:45,517
(electricity buzzing continues)
426
00:38:51,052 --> 00:38:54,615
(Ted grunting continues)
427
00:39:22,415 --> 00:39:25,978
(Ted grunting continues)
428
00:39:26,973 --> 00:39:31,144
(electricity buzzing continues)
429
00:39:42,069 --> 00:39:45,197
(creature groaning)
430
00:40:03,404 --> 00:40:04,447
- The watch.
431
00:40:06,173 --> 00:40:07,042
Okay.
432
00:40:08,803 --> 00:40:10,714
Here, Ted, I found it.
433
00:40:12,168 --> 00:40:13,463
Look at that, that's much nicer
434
00:40:13,507 --> 00:40:15,058
than I thought it was gonna be.
435
00:40:15,102 --> 00:40:16,531
We'll (indistinct) with that.
436
00:40:20,276 --> 00:40:24,020
(Ted grunting) (minimal foreboding music)
437
00:40:24,064 --> 00:40:25,006
Yeah I know.
438
00:40:25,050 --> 00:40:27,852
Your speech (indistinct)
scared of the dark, (indistinct)
439
00:40:27,896 --> 00:40:29,147
the prize, yeah, I know.
440
00:40:31,406 --> 00:40:32,982
(Ted grunting)
441
00:40:33,026 --> 00:40:34,469
Repeat?
442
00:40:34,513 --> 00:40:36,048
(Ted grunting)
443
00:40:36,092 --> 00:40:37,082
Yeah, (indistinct).
444
00:40:40,645 --> 00:40:45,135
Marovian.
445
00:40:46,834 --> 00:40:50,187
(Ted grunting)
446
00:40:50,231 --> 00:40:53,324
(Steve screaming)
447
00:40:53,367 --> 00:40:55,794
(female creature screaming)
448
00:40:55,838 --> 00:40:58,103
(Steve screaming)
449
00:40:58,147 --> 00:41:00,049
(female creature screaming)
450
00:41:00,093 --> 00:41:03,047
(Steve screaming)
451
00:41:11,221 --> 00:41:12,297
- What the hell was that?
452
00:41:12,341 --> 00:41:14,639
- That was (indistinct).
453
00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:15,897
- Where's the bloody watch?
454
00:41:15,941 --> 00:41:17,891
- Well, well, well, I dropped it.
455
00:41:17,935 --> 00:41:19,275
- Well, get it.
456
00:41:19,318 --> 00:41:20,394
(Steve stammering)
457
00:41:20,438 --> 00:41:22,751
- No, no, I'm too bloody scared, I won't do it.
458
00:41:22,795 --> 00:41:26,036
- Go and get it, it's just a person with a bloody face.
459
00:41:26,079 --> 00:41:27,130
You're not gonna get hurt.
460
00:41:27,174 --> 00:41:28,569
- No, I'm not gonna do it.
461
00:41:28,613 --> 00:41:30,490
I don't wanna do it, I'm too scared.
462
00:41:31,679 --> 00:41:33,449
- I'll buy ya, I'll buy ya, I'll buy ya a hot chocolate.
463
00:41:33,493 --> 00:41:34,669
Dude, 10 hot chocolates.
464
00:41:34,713 --> 00:41:35,827
- No, you could stuff your hot chocolate
465
00:41:35,870 --> 00:41:38,694
and your marshmallows, I won't do it, (indistinct).
466
00:41:38,738 --> 00:41:39,563
- Go on, go and get it, 'cause otherwise
467
00:41:39,606 --> 00:41:41,604
Big Tom's gonna have (indistinct).
468
00:41:41,648 --> 00:41:42,473
(Steve yelling indistinctly)
469
00:41:42,517 --> 00:41:43,866
- Big Tom, we go in there without them,
470
00:41:43,910 --> 00:41:44,739
you think they'd care.
471
00:41:44,782 --> 00:41:46,767
I'm not doing it, (indistinct).
472
00:41:46,810 --> 00:41:49,070
- I'll go and get it then.
473
00:42:00,649 --> 00:42:03,430
(Ted chuckling)
474
00:42:10,464 --> 00:42:11,824
(creature screaming)
475
00:42:11,868 --> 00:42:14,473
(Ted screaming)
476
00:42:14,516 --> 00:42:19,730
(creature screaming) (Ted whimpering)
477
00:42:23,632 --> 00:42:24,500
- Boss?
478
00:42:26,952 --> 00:42:28,274
(Ted screaming)
479
00:42:28,318 --> 00:42:33,531
(both screaming) (foreboding music continues)
480
00:42:59,220 --> 00:43:03,826
(minimal foreboding music continues)
481
00:43:30,632 --> 00:43:35,238
(minimal foreboding music continues)
482
00:44:01,344 --> 00:44:05,950
(minimal foreboding music continues)
483
00:44:17,469 --> 00:44:18,966
- Dang it.
484
00:44:19,010 --> 00:44:21,964
This is the second time this week!
485
00:44:25,202 --> 00:44:26,766
Where are you now?
486
00:44:28,307 --> 00:44:30,830
I'm sick of it, you're mine!
487
00:44:30,873 --> 00:44:34,840
I created you and this is how you repay me?
488
00:44:34,884 --> 00:44:38,478
I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna find you!
489
00:44:38,522 --> 00:44:40,521
You're gonna regret it!
490
00:44:45,466 --> 00:44:48,660
(minimal foreboding music continues)
491
00:44:48,704 --> 00:44:49,891
(doctor crying)
492
00:44:49,935 --> 00:44:52,803
Where's my baby, where's my baby?
493
00:44:55,398 --> 00:44:58,802
(doctor sobbing)
494
00:44:58,846 --> 00:45:02,756
And I can't be (indistinct).
495
00:45:04,362 --> 00:45:08,359
(doctor yelling indistinctly)
496
00:45:09,644 --> 00:45:11,024
You think you've had it hard before?
497
00:45:11,068 --> 00:45:14,670
You've had nothing, okay?
498
00:45:14,714 --> 00:45:18,784
When I find you, I'm gonna
remove your sweet, little heads.
499
00:45:19,708 --> 00:45:21,341
And I'm gonna take back your bodies
500
00:45:21,384 --> 00:45:24,528
and I'm gonna give it to
somebody who appreciates the work
501
00:45:24,572 --> 00:45:25,875
that I've done!
502
00:45:26,913 --> 00:45:28,463
I'm a genius!
503
00:45:28,507 --> 00:45:31,678
I created life and you've done nothing
504
00:45:31,722 --> 00:45:34,866
except bugger off like a couple of teenagers!
505
00:45:34,909 --> 00:45:36,348
In love!
506
00:45:36,392 --> 00:45:40,389
(doctor yelling indistinctly)
507
00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:43,890
Where are you!
508
00:45:45,442 --> 00:45:49,911
(minimal foreboding music continues)
509
00:45:49,955 --> 00:45:54,536
(doctor speaking indistinctly)
510
00:45:54,580 --> 00:45:57,979
Where, (doctor speaking indistinctly)?
511
00:45:58,023 --> 00:46:00,524
We were supposed to do!
512
00:46:00,567 --> 00:46:01,574
You're mine!
513
00:46:01,617 --> 00:46:05,788
(doctor screaming indistinctly)
514
00:46:23,705 --> 00:46:25,674
One last turn!
515
00:46:25,718 --> 00:46:27,352
(doctor screaming indistinctly)
516
00:46:27,396 --> 00:46:30,919
And if you come out, (indistinct).
517
00:46:30,962 --> 00:46:32,352
One, two, three,
518
00:46:38,483 --> 00:46:39,352
Drat.
519
00:46:40,925 --> 00:46:43,967
(doctor screaming)
520
00:46:45,218 --> 00:46:48,952
- Thank you for tuning in
tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
521
00:46:48,996 --> 00:46:50,297
You know something?
522
00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:51,799
It reminds me of a time
523
00:46:51,843 --> 00:46:54,254
when I was a star.
524
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,148
I would see the double features
525
00:46:57,192 --> 00:47:00,839
in the cinemas, and I would be in both films
526
00:47:00,883 --> 00:47:03,717
for four and a half, sometimes, hours.
527
00:47:03,761 --> 00:47:06,392
They would stare at I, Maurice Morbid.
528
00:47:07,859 --> 00:47:11,592
I could see their faces contort in hideous terror
529
00:47:12,488 --> 00:47:16,855
as they watched the beautiful macabre performance
530
00:47:16,899 --> 00:47:19,295
on their very screens.
531
00:47:19,339 --> 00:47:23,362
I remember the crying, the tears of children
532
00:47:23,405 --> 00:47:26,787
as their parents ran in terror out of the theater.
533
00:47:27,691 --> 00:47:28,560
But to us,
534
00:47:30,319 --> 00:47:33,638
I have been replaced by these rubes,
535
00:47:35,355 --> 00:47:37,595
gosh darn posers, all of them.
536
00:47:37,638 --> 00:47:39,956
Think they can act, anyway.
537
00:47:40,923 --> 00:47:43,694
One day, ladies and gentlemen, I will be back.
538
00:47:43,738 --> 00:47:45,415
Yes, I will be back.
539
00:47:45,459 --> 00:47:48,574
But until then, you will catch me here every night
540
00:47:48,618 --> 00:47:51,054
from 9:00 PM on "Terror Telly."
541
00:47:51,098 --> 00:47:54,661
(lively '80s club music)
542
00:48:21,857 --> 00:48:26,288
(lively '80s club music continues)
543
00:48:53,195 --> 00:48:57,627
(lively '80s club music continues)
544
00:49:24,531 --> 00:49:28,962
(lively '80s club music continues)
545
00:49:44,484 --> 00:49:46,411
Tonight, unlike our normal fair,
546
00:49:46,455 --> 00:49:49,117
we have a fantastic feature film for you.
547
00:49:50,490 --> 00:49:52,448
I bet you've been looking forward to it.
548
00:49:52,492 --> 00:49:54,388
Many have for decades.
549
00:49:54,431 --> 00:49:57,930
This is one of Nikolai Boxkovski's most famous works.
550
00:49:57,974 --> 00:50:01,482
"I Drink Tea and Watch You Die Slowly."
551
00:50:01,526 --> 00:50:04,219
(man groaning)
552
00:50:32,537 --> 00:50:36,100
(man groaning continues)
553
00:51:04,076 --> 00:51:07,639
(man groaning continues)
554
00:51:35,216 --> 00:51:38,778
(man groaning continues)
555
00:52:06,394 --> 00:52:09,957
(man groaning continues)
556
00:52:39,909 --> 00:52:42,900
A film which saddens me greatly.
557
00:52:42,944 --> 00:52:43,963
It is a film
558
00:52:44,007 --> 00:52:47,248
about the horrible
caffeinated beverage addiction
559
00:52:47,292 --> 00:52:49,876
which plagued the United Kingdom of Great Britain
560
00:52:49,919 --> 00:52:52,307
and Northern Ireland for decades.
561
00:52:54,265 --> 00:52:56,959
(man groaning)
562
00:53:37,411 --> 00:53:41,060
(distant gulls squawking)
563
00:55:50,884 --> 00:55:54,533
(distant gulls squawking)
564
00:56:44,498 --> 00:56:48,489
Yes, yes, the film is so mesmerizingly brilliant
565
00:56:48,533 --> 00:56:51,774
that one can barely escape
566
00:56:51,818 --> 00:56:53,353
the hold it gets over you.
567
00:56:56,446 --> 00:57:00,009
(lively '80s club music)
568
00:57:27,968 --> 00:57:32,400
(lively '80s club music continues)
569
00:57:47,936 --> 00:57:49,441
- All right, one more piece.
570
00:57:51,534 --> 00:57:54,493
Well, time to get outta here.
571
00:57:54,537 --> 00:57:56,510
Back to the real world of life.
572
00:57:57,900 --> 00:58:00,264
Bye, DVDs, bye, Blue-rays.
573
00:58:02,793 --> 00:58:04,127
(wood squeaking)
574
00:58:04,171 --> 00:58:05,645
I really do have the life.
575
00:58:07,956 --> 00:58:09,867
I really do have the life.
576
00:58:11,272 --> 00:58:16,028
Yes, now what to do now.
577
00:58:16,072 --> 00:58:17,114
I go to sleep.
578
00:58:26,911 --> 00:58:30,907
(unsettling foreboding music)
579
00:58:58,788 --> 00:59:03,655
(unsettling foreboding music continues)
580
00:59:29,399 --> 00:59:34,265
(unsettling foreboding music continues)
581
01:00:00,793 --> 01:00:05,659
(unsettling foreboding music continues)
582
01:00:32,319 --> 01:00:37,186
(unsettling foreboding music continues)
583
01:01:03,099 --> 01:01:07,965
(unsettling foreboding music continues)
584
01:01:34,619 --> 01:01:39,485
(unsettling foreboding music continues)
585
01:02:11,905 --> 01:02:13,721
- As you can see, ladies and gentlemen,
586
01:02:13,765 --> 01:02:18,978
the film is, it's, it's something that was made.
587
01:02:22,586 --> 01:02:24,106
How much am I getting paid for this again?
588
01:02:24,150 --> 01:02:27,922
- [Speaker 1] Uh, not very much.
589
01:02:27,966 --> 01:02:29,643
- Can you gimme a figure?
590
01:02:29,687 --> 01:02:31,066
- [Speaker 1] Eh, 20 P.
591
01:02:32,752 --> 01:02:34,335
- Well, you know what, this is about average
592
01:02:34,379 --> 01:02:36,650
for a drama degree student in the United Kingdom.
593
01:02:36,694 --> 01:02:38,542
So, um, I guess I'll take it.
37793
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