All language subtitles for What We Do in the Shadows - 06x09 - Come Out and Play.AMZN.FLUX.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,867 --> 00:00:03,972 Shitty thing. 2 00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:05,595 Guillermo... He doesn't live here anymore. 3 00:00:05,767 --> 00:00:07,700 How is it? I can't see. 4 00:00:07,711 --> 00:00:10,472 Tonight we are attending a very special event. 5 00:00:11,797 --> 00:00:12,924 Ha! 6 00:00:12,935 --> 00:00:13,977 Aye, fuck. 7 00:00:13,988 --> 00:00:18,302 The Baron is receiving an eternal lifetime achievement award. 8 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:23,613 I have never heard of such a thing, but it sounds very cool. 9 00:00:25,448 --> 00:00:27,865 It is about time our Baron got recognized 10 00:00:28,134 --> 00:00:30,965 for all the incredible work he does in our local community. 11 00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:33,036 - Yeah. - He has done so much for all of us, 12 00:00:33,047 --> 00:00:35,774 - both as a leader and as a reliable lay. - Yeah. 13 00:00:35,986 --> 00:00:38,506 Of course I am quite accustomed to being exalted... 14 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,700 praised, feared. 15 00:00:42,033 --> 00:00:44,553 But this shall be a night to remember. 16 00:00:44,564 --> 00:00:47,464 Alas, no. The Sire cannot make it. 17 00:00:47,475 --> 00:00:50,202 Our usual sitter just started at Northwestern and, well... 18 00:00:50,663 --> 00:00:51,837 Oh! 19 00:00:51,848 --> 00:00:53,919 You know how hard it is to find someone new. 20 00:00:54,126 --> 00:00:56,646 - Baron, give us a twirl. - Oh, no. 21 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:59,255 - Yes, please, Baron. - Look at him go. Wow. 22 00:00:59,372 --> 00:01:00,891 - Spin, Baron, spin. - Wow. 23 00:01:00,902 --> 00:01:03,905 Look at you all. Where are we going? 24 00:01:03,951 --> 00:01:06,298 We are going to an event to honor the Baron. 25 00:01:06,794 --> 00:01:08,347 - Oh. - And you are not. 26 00:01:08,507 --> 00:01:11,159 - Oh. - Because you have made it very clear 27 00:01:11,170 --> 00:01:15,140 that your future lies with the humans, not the vampires. 28 00:01:15,353 --> 00:01:17,838 - That's not fair. - Guillermo, we are a family. 29 00:01:18,391 --> 00:01:20,054 - Right. - We will always be a family. 30 00:01:20,065 --> 00:01:23,068 - Thank you. - And you are no longer part of the family. 31 00:01:23,422 --> 00:01:26,425 - Capisce? - Because you rejected your vampire family. 32 00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:28,058 - I didn't... - Yeah. The "vamily." 33 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:31,681 Oh. Colin Robinson, no. 34 00:01:31,853 --> 00:01:33,821 - Hell-lo. - Here he is. 35 00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:35,167 - Shall we saddle up? - Yes. 36 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,835 Well, why does the monster get to go and not me? 37 00:01:37,169 --> 00:01:38,964 - "Vamily." - Yeah. 38 00:01:39,102 --> 00:01:41,622 - No, not him as well. - Very good. 39 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:16,047 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 40 00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:20,553 Yeah, I'm a little hurt I'm not going to the vampire gathering tonight, 41 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,329 but it's probably for the best, you know? 42 00:02:25,095 --> 00:02:27,373 Besides, I already made plans to hang out with my cousin Miguel. 43 00:02:28,029 --> 00:02:30,825 Actually, Miguel and I used to be really close when I was little. 44 00:02:31,781 --> 00:02:34,439 But then he kinda became this, like, jock. 45 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,257 We grew apart, 46 00:02:36,268 --> 00:02:39,547 but our moms are determined that we be really good friends. 47 00:02:41,491 --> 00:02:44,460 We're gonna... hang out. 48 00:02:50,669 --> 00:02:53,430 - Miguel! Hey. - Hey. How you doing? 49 00:02:53,503 --> 00:02:55,540 You love it. 50 00:02:55,712 --> 00:02:57,013 - No, I don't. - Yeah, you do. 51 00:02:57,024 --> 00:02:59,509 No, I don't. I really don't. 52 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,557 We should've done this sooner. I was working at this job, you know? 53 00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:04,388 It was crazy. I had to get outta there. 54 00:03:04,398 --> 00:03:05,692 I was starting to lose my mind... 55 00:03:05,703 --> 00:03:08,925 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Memo. I don't need the whole pinche novella, okay? 56 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,426 Losers first. 57 00:03:10,713 --> 00:03:12,366 Go get 'em, slugger. 58 00:03:12,377 --> 00:03:13,551 Oh! 59 00:03:14,272 --> 00:03:15,399 Strike one! 60 00:03:15,410 --> 00:03:16,860 Little out of practice there, Memo? 61 00:03:16,871 --> 00:03:18,517 I don't think I was ever in practice. 62 00:03:18,528 --> 00:03:19,967 What are you talking about? 63 00:03:19,978 --> 00:03:22,277 We used to play all the time when we were little. 64 00:03:22,288 --> 00:03:24,846 - Ah! - Gotta keep your eyes on the ball, Memo. 65 00:03:25,235 --> 00:03:27,151 There it is. Every gang in the 66 00:03:27,161 --> 00:03:29,412 tristate area is here. How delightful. 67 00:03:29,746 --> 00:03:32,715 Yeah. Looks like everyone came out to play. 68 00:03:32,887 --> 00:03:34,751 - Salutations. - The Warriors. Walter Hill. 1979. 69 00:03:35,404 --> 00:03:36,405 Exciting. 70 00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:40,481 - What a turnout. - Look up there. It's the Fly Guys. 71 00:03:40,849 --> 00:03:43,956 Oh, wow. I haven't seen the Lower East Side Vampire Punks 72 00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:46,625 since one spat on me in 1983. 73 00:03:46,901 --> 00:03:49,351 I was cool with it. It's what we did back then. 74 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:52,862 - Hello, Hamptons vampires. - Like, "Hampires." 75 00:03:53,127 --> 00:03:55,129 - Stop it! - I hate these dipshits. 76 00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:58,557 But kinda makes you proud, you know? Our people. 77 00:03:58,799 --> 00:04:02,078 So, this is all for me? 78 00:04:02,089 --> 00:04:04,609 - Baron Afanas, there you are. - Ah. 79 00:04:04,901 --> 00:04:06,393 - Hi. - Hello. 80 00:04:06,404 --> 00:04:08,084 You look lovely tonight. 81 00:04:08,095 --> 00:04:10,580 I mean, you look lovely every night. 82 00:04:10,753 --> 00:04:12,617 - We all look lovely tonight. - Ugh. 83 00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:15,332 - You included. - Thank you. 84 00:04:15,343 --> 00:04:18,001 All right. I'm just going to bring you up to the stage, 85 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:20,003 and then Jerry will introduce you. 86 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,765 - Jerry is here? - Who Jerry? 87 00:04:23,098 --> 00:04:25,273 Jerry's the one who put on this whole event. 88 00:04:25,284 --> 00:04:28,184 Look out, Manhattan all-girls private-school vampires. 89 00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:31,808 Vicious, ruthless killers, both socially and in a murder sense. 90 00:04:32,108 --> 00:04:33,419 What's up, girlies? 91 00:04:33,465 --> 00:04:36,433 Ew. 92 00:04:36,702 --> 00:04:38,187 - Hey! - Told ya. 93 00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:40,303 - Check one, check two. - Cute. 94 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,834 Hello. Hi. 95 00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:44,598 I can't believe this total zero 96 00:04:44,608 --> 00:04:46,795 gets to introduce the Baron Afanas. 97 00:04:46,806 --> 00:04:48,020 Doesn't seem right. 98 00:04:48,031 --> 00:04:50,994 He hasn't even sucked him off, let alone been nuts deep. 99 00:04:51,005 --> 00:04:52,279 All right. 100 00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:53,783 - Just be quiet. - You be quiet. 101 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,486 Can you count, suckers? 102 00:05:00,135 --> 00:05:01,965 Look around you. 103 00:05:01,976 --> 00:05:04,496 Look at all these different vampires, 104 00:05:04,669 --> 00:05:07,119 all gathered together as one. 105 00:05:07,130 --> 00:05:08,751 Yes. How about it? 106 00:05:08,762 --> 00:05:10,660 We've got our Coney Island carny vampires... 107 00:05:11,182 --> 00:05:14,782 side by side with our leatherette vampires. 108 00:05:15,117 --> 00:05:17,476 We've got our Rockaway surfers... 109 00:05:17,487 --> 00:05:20,248 right next to our JFK TSA vampires. 110 00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:26,068 - Thank you for your service! - This city doesn't bleed without you all. 111 00:05:28,267 --> 00:05:30,580 - Yes! - That's right! That's right, Jerry! 112 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:35,147 Tonight we've gathered to hear from our esteemed leader... 113 00:05:35,482 --> 00:05:38,381 the great Baron Afanas. 114 00:05:38,392 --> 00:05:42,914 Our supreme commander in charge of our conquest of the New World. 115 00:05:43,086 --> 00:05:44,260 Yes, conquest! 116 00:05:47,395 --> 00:05:49,363 At least, that was the plan, right? 117 00:05:49,941 --> 00:05:51,322 Wasn't it? 118 00:05:51,592 --> 00:05:53,473 Taking over the New World? 119 00:05:54,672 --> 00:05:56,364 People feeling good about it? 120 00:05:56,375 --> 00:05:58,032 I'm just asking questions. I don't know. 121 00:05:58,205 --> 00:06:02,036 Maybe the Baron will be able to provide some of these answers tonight. 122 00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:05,833 Maybe there's a perfectly good explanation 123 00:06:06,006 --> 00:06:10,182 for why we were sent here 250 years ago to conquer the continent 124 00:06:10,355 --> 00:06:13,530 and we still find ourselves cowering in the shadows. 125 00:06:15,463 --> 00:06:18,604 - Do you have an answer for that? Do you know why? - What's this shit? 126 00:06:18,939 --> 00:06:20,803 - When can we move on? - Jerry. 127 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,885 That introduction I cannot live up to. 128 00:06:23,218 --> 00:06:26,118 - Thank you, thank you. - 'Cause here's what I wanna know. 129 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,742 - What the fuck? - Does the fault lie in ourselves? 130 00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:31,380 Does it lie in our stars? 131 00:06:31,885 --> 00:06:32,955 Or... 132 00:06:33,723 --> 00:06:36,761 does it lie in our leadership? 133 00:06:37,095 --> 00:06:39,235 - He has a point! - I'm genuinely asking. I don't know. 134 00:06:39,246 --> 00:06:40,969 - Hey, hey. - What is he talking about? 135 00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:42,948 Move! 136 00:06:43,215 --> 00:06:46,046 Gimme that. How dare you disrespect this man? 137 00:06:46,576 --> 00:06:49,165 - Hear! Hear! - This is the great, 138 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:52,301 the beautiful Baron Afanas. 139 00:06:56,953 --> 00:07:00,750 And this man, this mixer of boiling hot feces, 140 00:07:01,247 --> 00:07:02,972 he knows not of his place. 141 00:07:02,983 --> 00:07:06,607 He's nothing but a sower of discontent and disrespect. 142 00:07:06,618 --> 00:07:08,275 Let me see that. 143 00:07:08,447 --> 00:07:09,794 - Puttana! No! - Let me see that. 144 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,151 - No. No. Shut up! - Hold on. Hold on. 145 00:07:11,485 --> 00:07:14,039 No. No, no, don't... 146 00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:20,508 Ah! 147 00:07:22,313 --> 00:07:25,005 - Uh... - Okay. Uh, that was not my fault. 148 00:07:26,586 --> 00:07:29,244 Jerry was killed by that Frankenstein monster! 149 00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:31,908 It's Cravensworth's monster. 150 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,979 Run! Run! 151 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:36,786 They killed Jerry! The Staten Island vampires killed Jerry! 152 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,467 - No, we didn't. - Kill them! 153 00:07:39,478 --> 00:07:41,066 We should get the fuck out of here! 154 00:07:47,452 --> 00:07:50,248 Kill them! 155 00:08:04,883 --> 00:08:06,989 Fucking hell. How many bats are up there? 156 00:08:07,474 --> 00:08:09,476 So flying home is not an option. 157 00:08:09,487 --> 00:08:11,834 Where do we go, what do we do and how do we do it? 158 00:08:11,856 --> 00:08:15,342 We need to get home. Which way is home? Is it north? 159 00:08:15,675 --> 00:08:18,023 - I'm certain we are south. - No. No, we're not. I'm feeling east. 160 00:08:18,054 --> 00:08:19,538 You know I can't fly, you dicks. 161 00:08:19,853 --> 00:08:22,131 Ah. Colin Robinson, do you know how to get home? 162 00:08:22,304 --> 00:08:24,340 No, I have no idea. I... 163 00:08:24,351 --> 00:08:27,664 I never thought I'd ever say this, but I think we need to call Gizmo. 164 00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:30,266 - Ah! Yes. - Yes, great idea. 165 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,142 Guillermo! 166 00:08:33,153 --> 00:08:35,741 Not like that, you fucking idiot. With the phone that he's doing. 167 00:08:36,075 --> 00:08:37,732 I can also try echolocating. 168 00:08:37,904 --> 00:08:41,115 Nadja, I'm on the phone! 169 00:08:41,174 --> 00:08:42,900 Come one, man. That's why you gotta concentrate. 170 00:08:42,911 --> 00:08:44,464 I was concentrating. 171 00:08:44,475 --> 00:08:47,548 So this new job has a documentary about it too? 172 00:08:48,547 --> 00:08:51,102 No, it's actually the same documentary. 173 00:08:51,274 --> 00:08:53,587 It just now follows a guy who quits his old job 174 00:08:53,598 --> 00:08:55,773 and goes out into the regular world. 175 00:08:56,107 --> 00:08:59,916 Okay, word. So it's like Sling Blade. But boring. 176 00:08:59,927 --> 00:09:02,033 Know what, Miguel? This is why I don't hang out with you. 177 00:09:02,044 --> 00:09:04,080 You don't hang out with any of the familia. 178 00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:05,453 I don't because every time I do, 179 00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:07,590 they make me feel guilty that I'm always busy. 180 00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:10,016 This was a mistake. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go, okay? 181 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,891 Hey, hey. Come on, Memo. I'm not mad at you, man. 182 00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:15,691 We love you. All right? We were worried. 183 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,003 We never saw you. You're out there on your own. 184 00:09:18,014 --> 00:09:19,705 You never even talked about having any friends. 185 00:09:19,716 --> 00:09:21,857 Don't worry about me, okay? I have plenty of friends. 186 00:09:21,867 --> 00:09:23,082 Oh, really? That's great. 187 00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:25,048 Name me one friend. Like, who's your best friend? 188 00:09:25,059 --> 00:09:27,021 That would be, uh, Nandor. 189 00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:28,054 Nandor? 190 00:09:28,065 --> 00:09:31,789 My... My boss. My ex-boss. He's not my boss anymore. 191 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,432 Your best friend is your former boss? 192 00:09:33,443 --> 00:09:35,238 I know, okay? It's complicated, but... 193 00:09:35,582 --> 00:09:36,684 Wait. 194 00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:38,325 Colin? 195 00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,062 Wait, slow down. What? 196 00:09:41,877 --> 00:09:44,707 Here we go, Mr. Drama Queen. Just like always. 197 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,292 Every time we start to have fun, you all 198 00:09:46,302 --> 00:09:47,606 of a sudden have an emergency somewhere. 199 00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:49,826 - My friends need help. They're in danger. - In danger? 200 00:09:50,161 --> 00:09:52,301 It's gonna sound crazy, but someone's trying to kill them. 201 00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:55,511 - What the fuck? - Just please let me go. 202 00:09:55,683 --> 00:09:57,962 No, no. Fuck that. I'm going with you, all right? Let's roll. 203 00:09:58,134 --> 00:09:59,947 You don't even know them. Why would you wanna come? 204 00:09:59,958 --> 00:10:01,243 I don't need to know them. 205 00:10:01,254 --> 00:10:04,098 You're my familia, all right? I have to have your back. Let's go. 206 00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:08,162 - Okay. - An attack on your friends is an attack on all of us. 207 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,845 Seat belt on. 208 00:10:09,856 --> 00:10:11,927 Wait. You should know before we go that my friends, they're... 209 00:10:12,814 --> 00:10:13,993 they're not like 210 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,307 the regular people that you know. 211 00:10:16,318 --> 00:10:18,148 Memo, will you chill out? I have gay friends, 212 00:10:18,158 --> 00:10:20,064 all right? It's not a big deal. !¡AÁndale! 213 00:10:24,564 --> 00:10:26,531 And remember, when we find them, I get dibs 214 00:10:26,703 --> 00:10:29,430 - on killing the one with the really gross man bun. - So cringe. 215 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,756 - They're not here. Let's go. - Okay, let's go. 216 00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:41,538 Okay. That was not supposed to go that way. 217 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,112 I cannot believe that Jerry betrayed the Baron like that. 218 00:10:45,285 --> 00:10:47,528 As long as you are all right, that's all that matters. 219 00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:50,106 - Ugh. - I have been serving Jerry for months. 220 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,223 I feel so betrayed. I'm so sorry. 221 00:10:52,395 --> 00:10:55,157 I hear you, I hear you. You know, trust is essential... 222 00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:57,964 Um... We're just gonna give you guys a minute. Just give you some... 223 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,289 Sounds like this Jerry does not get... 224 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:04,338 Laszlo, why did your monster flip the fuck out and pop Jerry's head? 225 00:11:04,673 --> 00:11:07,572 He was just performing his duties as a protector. 226 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,000 Well, then how do I know that he might 227 00:11:09,010 --> 00:11:11,345 not just flip out one day and pop my head? 228 00:11:11,356 --> 00:11:13,703 - My monster would never do that. - How could you be so sure? 229 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,030 Look at the mess that thing has created. 230 00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:19,390 That lumbering, demented donkey of a 231 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,562 creature is clearly capable of anything. 232 00:11:21,735 --> 00:11:25,981 No, no, no. He's not. My darling, my monster would never hurt you. 233 00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:27,972 I didn't want you to know, 234 00:11:27,983 --> 00:11:30,364 but the sole objective of creating him in the first place 235 00:11:30,904 --> 00:11:32,215 was to keep you safe. 236 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,883 - What? - My darling, 237 00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,981 if anything were to happen to me, 238 00:11:36,992 --> 00:11:38,855 you would be protected. 239 00:11:39,190 --> 00:11:40,985 - What? - When have I ever needed protecting 240 00:11:40,996 --> 00:11:42,516 from anything or anyone? 241 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,011 I knew you'd react like this. 242 00:11:44,022 --> 00:11:45,541 For the record, my darling, 243 00:11:45,714 --> 00:11:48,682 I was a vampire on my own for centuries. 244 00:11:48,693 --> 00:11:50,936 Before you came along, Mr. Cravensworth, 245 00:11:50,947 --> 00:11:55,607 I once ripped an entire pack of werewolves to shreds with my bare fangs 246 00:11:56,103 --> 00:11:59,106 and then scattered their entrails on the road like a confetti. 247 00:11:59,117 --> 00:12:02,914 - I've heard this story a thousand... - Ah! A confetti. 248 00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:08,450 The skies are clear. 249 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,910 Let's try to get our bearings. 250 00:12:10,082 --> 00:12:12,947 Look. Look down there. 251 00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:16,893 Athletes preparing for a baseball game? At this hour? 252 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,942 They're not athletes, you tit. They're the Bronx Bomber vampires. 253 00:12:20,438 --> 00:12:22,026 Well, they're looking for us. 254 00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:24,073 Good. Let's just take them on and get this over with. 255 00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:25,881 No, we should cross the bridge. 256 00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:27,047 Okay. 257 00:12:27,065 --> 00:12:29,067 - Keep walking. - They're coming up here! 258 00:12:29,239 --> 00:12:30,965 Just keep walking. 259 00:12:31,138 --> 00:12:32,381 - What now? - Shit. 260 00:12:32,392 --> 00:12:35,429 Oh, no. It's the Meatpacking District vampires. 261 00:12:35,764 --> 00:12:37,800 As deadly as they are beautiful. 262 00:12:37,811 --> 00:12:39,399 I wouldn't mind having my meat packed. 263 00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:41,746 - This way. To the subway. - Shut the fuck up. 264 00:12:41,918 --> 00:12:44,197 - Flee! Down here! - We must run! 265 00:12:44,369 --> 00:12:46,406 Come on. Take cover fast! 266 00:12:46,578 --> 00:12:48,615 Fuck yeah. I see an entrance. 267 00:12:48,787 --> 00:12:50,134 Come on. Hurry. 268 00:12:50,306 --> 00:12:51,756 Does the subway even go to Staten Island? 269 00:12:51,928 --> 00:12:53,827 - Stay close, Blondie. - What the fuck? 270 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,232 Hey. What's this shit? 271 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,073 - Great. Jumping vampires. - All right. Cool down. 272 00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,699 Is it hat vampires? 273 00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:01,781 - Fuck off. Fuck off. - Oh, shit. 274 00:13:02,342 --> 00:13:04,206 No. What are they? 275 00:13:04,379 --> 00:13:05,645 These guys are the, uh... 276 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,739 I don't actually know what kind of vampires these are. 277 00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:12,777 - Are they '80s vampires? - Breakdance vampires? 278 00:13:12,949 --> 00:13:15,918 No, I think they're Fame the movie vampires, 279 00:13:16,091 --> 00:13:18,438 or Fame the TV show vampires. 280 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:22,281 And the space suit fella must represent MTV or something. 281 00:13:22,614 --> 00:13:25,100 Then what's with the riverboat gambler guy? 282 00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,021 They lost me there. I have no clue. 283 00:13:27,356 --> 00:13:29,289 You killed Jerry the vampire. 284 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:31,785 No, no. That was done by a random monster. 285 00:13:32,084 --> 00:13:33,154 - Shazam! - Uh-oh. 286 00:13:33,165 --> 00:13:35,237 - Five, six, seven, eight. - No! 287 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,973 What's this shit? 288 00:13:37,146 --> 00:13:38,975 - Ooh! - Oh! Okay. 289 00:13:39,148 --> 00:13:41,495 They're twinkle-toe vampires. I got this. 290 00:13:44,222 --> 00:13:45,982 Have you ever seen feet move at this medium pace? 291 00:13:46,317 --> 00:13:48,008 - All right. - That's a nice one. Aha! 292 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:49,630 Oh. 293 00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:51,643 - Fuck off. - Wow. 294 00:13:51,816 --> 00:13:53,887 - It's really good. - Not bad. 295 00:13:54,215 --> 00:13:55,838 - Oh... - Fuck this shit. 296 00:13:56,510 --> 00:13:58,374 What? What? 297 00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:00,296 - Okay. - What the fuck? 298 00:14:01,722 --> 00:14:02,965 Fuck, Laszlo! 299 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,749 They really weren't that threatening. 300 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,374 You idiot. 301 00:14:06,385 --> 00:14:08,628 Well, he's dead. 302 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,632 - Full house. - I was handling it. 303 00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:11,713 Sorry. 304 00:14:11,724 --> 00:14:13,070 Let's just keep moving, all right? 305 00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:14,747 We'll get above ground... 306 00:14:14,758 --> 00:14:16,070 - Okay. - ... so Guillermo can find us. 307 00:14:16,243 --> 00:14:17,570 - Good idea. - Whatever. 308 00:14:17,581 --> 00:14:20,036 You know, I really like it when you take charge. 309 00:14:23,399 --> 00:14:25,068 No, no, no. 310 00:14:25,079 --> 00:14:26,909 Don't worry about the address. I'll text when I get it. 311 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,371 Just gather 'em up. Keep your phone on, all right? All right. 312 00:14:29,538 --> 00:14:30,806 Who was that? 313 00:14:30,817 --> 00:14:33,318 - Some friends. In case we need backup. - Backup? 314 00:14:33,329 --> 00:14:34,826 You said your friends are gonna get killed. 315 00:14:34,836 --> 00:14:36,391 I don't know what's gonna happen. 316 00:14:36,402 --> 00:14:38,058 - Where are they, man? - I don't know, okay? 317 00:14:38,231 --> 00:14:40,716 Colin lost his location, so maybe he lost reception. 318 00:14:40,727 --> 00:14:43,592 - I can try calling again. I don't know. - Are these people even real? 319 00:14:43,603 --> 00:14:45,928 Are you kidding me right now? Yes, they're real. 320 00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:48,597 - Why would I be doing this if they're not real? - I just had to check. 321 00:14:48,608 --> 00:14:51,301 - Had to check? They're real, okay? Don't worry. - You're acting crazy. 322 00:14:51,312 --> 00:14:55,063 They're my friends, and they're vampires, so there's that. 323 00:14:55,074 --> 00:14:56,697 - Did you just say they're vampires? - Yeah. 324 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,423 Actually, you met one of them. 325 00:14:58,595 --> 00:15:00,425 - What? - Yeah, but you attacked her. 326 00:15:00,598 --> 00:15:01,599 - The fuck? - You attacked her. 327 00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:03,094 I would remember something like that. 328 00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:05,027 How could you? She hypnotized you. 329 00:15:05,452 --> 00:15:07,005 How you gonna remember, hmm? 330 00:15:12,276 --> 00:15:14,519 - You know what? Let's just keep driving. - Yeah, let's keep driving. 331 00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,130 Oh, it's Colin. 332 00:15:16,141 --> 00:15:19,006 Hey, hey. Hi, Colin. Where are you? 333 00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:23,148 Okey dokey. 334 00:15:23,159 --> 00:15:26,106 I just got off the phone with Gizmo 335 00:15:26,278 --> 00:15:29,074 and gave him... our locash. 336 00:15:29,246 --> 00:15:30,436 You know, Laszlo, 337 00:15:30,447 --> 00:15:33,554 I had those dancing vampire freaks in the palm of my hands. 338 00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:37,991 I do not need you or your stupid monster to protect me. 339 00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:39,962 Is that what you think? 340 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:45,674 My darling, I did not train my monster to protect you 341 00:15:45,925 --> 00:15:48,342 because I thought you could not live without me. 342 00:15:49,439 --> 00:15:50,957 I trained that monster 343 00:15:51,669 --> 00:15:53,843 because I cannot live without you. 344 00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:57,841 Laszlo, 345 00:15:58,193 --> 00:16:00,554 I cannot live without you. 346 00:16:00,565 --> 00:16:04,259 But if something was to happen to you and I was to lose you, 347 00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:07,147 it wouldn't be your protection I would miss. 348 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,804 It would be you. 349 00:16:08,815 --> 00:16:12,128 Your looks, the layers in your hairs. Your wit. 350 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:16,467 And the way you use that extremely large hog. 351 00:16:16,925 --> 00:16:19,021 And that cannot be taught. 352 00:16:19,194 --> 00:16:20,678 No, it can't. 353 00:16:22,173 --> 00:16:23,657 Aw. They're being sweet again. 354 00:16:25,062 --> 00:16:26,538 - Yes. - The way that... 355 00:16:26,549 --> 00:16:28,275 Kinda makes you think, doesn't it? 356 00:16:29,526 --> 00:16:30,735 Think about what? 357 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,010 Well, isn't it obvious? 358 00:16:34,012 --> 00:16:37,292 I have been searching for love for so very long, 359 00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:40,467 and it was right here the whole time. 360 00:16:41,055 --> 00:16:42,677 Right under my nose. 361 00:16:44,243 --> 00:16:45,658 In front of my nose. 362 00:16:47,935 --> 00:16:49,523 - Me? - You. 363 00:16:51,098 --> 00:16:52,859 Ugh. 364 00:16:53,192 --> 00:16:55,160 - So, I've watched your search for love. - Mm-hmm. 365 00:16:55,574 --> 00:16:57,335 This one, that one. 366 00:16:57,739 --> 00:16:59,154 - Your dead wife. - Yes. 367 00:16:59,165 --> 00:17:01,305 - Guillermo's boyfriend. - Freddie. 368 00:17:01,316 --> 00:17:05,078 Gail. I mean, basically, anyone and everyone who wasn't me. 369 00:17:05,411 --> 00:17:07,828 And I've seen after you won their hearts. 370 00:17:08,204 --> 00:17:09,723 It all falls apart. 371 00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:13,700 Because you're all about the conquest, not the victory. 372 00:17:14,189 --> 00:17:17,330 You're a good friend, but you will never have me. 373 00:17:18,273 --> 00:17:19,281 Ever. 374 00:17:21,004 --> 00:17:22,764 Sorry, could you run that by me again? 375 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,362 I completely zoned out. 376 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,779 I got ever so lost in those big, 377 00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:30,206 beautiful blue eyes of yours. 378 00:17:30,379 --> 00:17:32,450 I said you'll never have me. 379 00:17:32,623 --> 00:17:35,522 - I have a little bit of self-respect. - A little... bit. 380 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:37,986 - I just feel so ready for love. - Okay. 381 00:17:37,997 --> 00:17:40,137 - Mmm... Wait a minute. What is that? - Hey. 382 00:17:40,619 --> 00:17:42,207 - Laszlo. - Oh, shit. 383 00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:44,911 - What the fuck? - Graveyard vampires. 384 00:17:45,245 --> 00:17:47,558 Well, you hang out in a graveyard, 385 00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:49,053 you can expect spooky crap like this. 386 00:17:49,974 --> 00:17:51,389 Oh, bloody fuck. 387 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,919 - Should we... - There's too many of them. 388 00:17:53,091 --> 00:17:55,059 - Run while you can. - Yes, yes. Come on, Laszlo. 389 00:17:55,393 --> 00:17:57,568 - This way. Come on, you skull fucks. - Yes. 390 00:17:59,407 --> 00:18:02,538 Here. Quick! Shit. Shit. 391 00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:05,023 Come on, do your worst. 392 00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:07,140 Fucking hell. Ah! 393 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,610 No, no, no! Wait! 394 00:18:10,697 --> 00:18:12,030 No. Fuck off. 395 00:18:12,202 --> 00:18:15,102 Ah! I see you know your judo well. 396 00:18:15,113 --> 00:18:17,322 - Laszlo! - It's all right, my darling. I'll be right there. 397 00:18:17,657 --> 00:18:20,073 I'm coming! Hang your cape on that. 398 00:18:20,246 --> 00:18:21,799 Get your hands off me. 399 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,519 Get out, you motherfucker! 400 00:18:26,157 --> 00:18:27,262 Ooh. 401 00:18:29,714 --> 00:18:32,303 Nadja! There's some over here too. 402 00:18:32,476 --> 00:18:35,202 All right. Who's next? I can do this all night long. 403 00:18:37,952 --> 00:18:40,127 - Fuck off. - Oh. 404 00:18:40,138 --> 00:18:42,106 - Help me up. - Laszlo. 405 00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:45,627 - Where's my wife? - She's over there. 406 00:18:45,971 --> 00:18:48,802 Okay. Very good aim. Wow! 407 00:18:49,412 --> 00:18:51,276 Look at my gruesome girl go. 408 00:18:51,448 --> 00:18:53,658 It's like front row at a Gallagher show. 409 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,548 I think maybe he's dead? 410 00:18:55,559 --> 00:18:57,739 I will say when he's dead. 411 00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,684 Very impressive. But I think there might be more vampires on the way. 412 00:19:01,148 --> 00:19:02,805 - Perhaps we should get out of here. - In a minute! 413 00:19:03,015 --> 00:19:04,036 Okay. 414 00:19:07,425 --> 00:19:09,016 Now we can go. 415 00:19:09,027 --> 00:19:10,684 Great. Let's do that. 416 00:19:20,696 --> 00:19:23,021 - Do you want a straw? - Nope. 417 00:19:23,032 --> 00:19:25,828 You think that maybe we should order coffee drinks... thank you... 418 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,347 so we don't look like a bunch of vampires 419 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,522 sat around waiting for our familiar to save us? 420 00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:32,397 We can all be here without everyone ordering coffee. 421 00:19:32,408 --> 00:19:34,445 And we can stay at the table as long as we want. 422 00:19:35,101 --> 00:19:37,207 And when it comes to the bathrooms, 423 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,186 - legally, it's Thunderdome. - Hey. 424 00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:40,695 - Guillermo! - Guillermo. 425 00:19:40,706 --> 00:19:41,993 - Finally. - Hey, Gomez. 426 00:19:42,004 --> 00:19:44,664 - You took your sweet time. - Nadja, you all right? You have a little... 427 00:19:44,675 --> 00:19:46,780 Yeah, covered, uh, in brain and blood and guts. 428 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,851 Yes. Thank you for noticing. 429 00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:51,175 So, uh, your vampire friends, they hang out at coffee shops? 430 00:19:51,686 --> 00:19:54,167 Hey, look, no offense. I love the costumes, man. 431 00:19:54,178 --> 00:19:56,491 You turn your mom's rug into a dress? That's pretty cool. 432 00:19:56,683 --> 00:19:58,985 But, uh, you guys really think you're vampires? 433 00:20:00,103 --> 00:20:02,071 No, Nandor. Don't hurt him. That's my cousin, Miguel. 434 00:20:02,082 --> 00:20:04,084 No kidding. 435 00:20:04,418 --> 00:20:07,421 So you are the famous Miguel. We have heard lots about you. 436 00:20:07,594 --> 00:20:09,182 What the fuck? 437 00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:11,540 Guillermo tells us you're very tough and very cool 438 00:20:11,874 --> 00:20:14,359 and once locked him in a cupboard for six hours. 439 00:20:14,532 --> 00:20:16,396 - Put it there. - Don't need to fist bump on that. 440 00:20:16,407 --> 00:20:18,685 Sorry about that. Let's straighten that for you. 441 00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:20,745 - You guys kill people? - No shit, Kojak. 442 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,462 Chillax, Miguel. 443 00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:24,922 'Cause a member of Guillermo's family is a member of our family. 444 00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:26,672 - Right, guys? - Right. 445 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:28,650 - "Vamilia." - Nadnor! I have a Nadnor. 446 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,137 Is that for you, Nandor? 447 00:20:30,148 --> 00:20:32,097 No, she is calling someone called Nadnor. 448 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:33,678 Also, I have not ordered anything, so... 449 00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:38,176 - I have one roundhouse kick for a Nandor. - Yes. I am Nan... 450 00:20:39,937 --> 00:20:42,526 How quaint. A barista vampire. 451 00:20:42,537 --> 00:20:45,332 We're not barista vampires. We're artist and writer vampires 452 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:48,589 who happen to currently be working as baristas. 453 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,810 And graphic designer vampires. 454 00:20:51,144 --> 00:20:52,870 - Hi. I'm Cass. - Hi, Cass. 455 00:20:52,881 --> 00:20:55,953 Personal essayist vampire Louis here. 456 00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:58,104 - Got a shot for Nandor. - Oh, that's me. Yes. 457 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,244 Fucking guy. 458 00:21:00,416 --> 00:21:02,211 My mistake. That was supposed to be a double shot. 459 00:21:03,454 --> 00:21:05,234 Whoa. Oh, shit. 460 00:21:05,245 --> 00:21:06,372 Oh, I forgot to mention. 461 00:21:06,382 --> 00:21:07,516 You have Van Helsing blood running through you. 462 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,771 - What? - It's a long story. I'll tell you later, okay? 463 00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,190 Bat. 464 00:21:17,246 --> 00:21:20,042 Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's because I said the word "bat." 465 00:21:21,817 --> 00:21:24,130 - And I've done it again. I meant to say... - Miguel. 466 00:21:26,541 --> 00:21:27,842 Should we get involved? 467 00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:31,298 You know, I forgot how scrappy Gizmo can be 468 00:21:31,309 --> 00:21:33,545 when he gets a bit of a bee in his bonnet. 469 00:21:33,556 --> 00:21:34,636 Ooh. 470 00:21:34,647 --> 00:21:36,407 Steam. 471 00:21:36,736 --> 00:21:37,737 "Vampuccino." 472 00:21:37,748 --> 00:21:38,956 I will fucking kill you. 473 00:21:42,966 --> 00:21:45,416 Ah! Ooh. Very good. 474 00:21:47,843 --> 00:21:50,190 Almost there. Keep reaching, Gizmo. 475 00:21:53,193 --> 00:21:55,023 Nice shot. 476 00:21:55,762 --> 00:21:57,428 - Ooh. Dead. Very good. - Guillermo. 477 00:21:57,601 --> 00:21:58,971 - We should go. - Yes. 478 00:21:58,982 --> 00:22:00,707 What the fuck is that? 479 00:22:00,915 --> 00:22:02,606 Just some homeys of mine. I called them in case we were outnumbered. 480 00:22:02,617 --> 00:22:06,517 Here they come. Hell yeah! Donnie brought the Spyder. 481 00:22:06,851 --> 00:22:08,991 - Fancy a ride, my darling? - Hello. 482 00:22:09,002 --> 00:22:10,141 We gotta go. 483 00:22:10,475 --> 00:22:11,856 This one? Hold on, hold on. 484 00:22:11,867 --> 00:22:13,938 - Get in, man. - Colin Robinson! 485 00:22:14,111 --> 00:22:15,422 Let's go. We have to go. 486 00:22:16,976 --> 00:22:18,633 I don't want to get my cape caught. 487 00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:27,803 Ah. 488 00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:29,418 - Oh, home. - Oh, yes. 489 00:22:29,429 --> 00:22:30,495 - We're home. - Ooh, doggy. 490 00:22:30,668 --> 00:22:32,670 - Baron? - Well, well, well. 491 00:22:32,843 --> 00:22:34,051 You're okay! 492 00:22:34,223 --> 00:22:35,733 Look who came home! 493 00:22:35,744 --> 00:22:37,813 Baron, how did you get back so fast? 494 00:22:37,985 --> 00:22:42,576 Did you know that Staten Island has an above-ground train? 495 00:22:42,749 --> 00:22:44,682 - It's actually quite pleasant. - Hey... 496 00:22:44,693 --> 00:22:46,772 And it gave me a chance to open up 497 00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:49,560 that Louise Penny I have on audiobook. 498 00:22:49,926 --> 00:22:52,593 - Love her. - She's okay. But a quick question. 499 00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:54,537 What the hell were you thinking? 500 00:22:54,726 --> 00:22:56,970 Why did you kill Jerry the Vampire? 501 00:22:56,981 --> 00:23:01,227 B-Because, Baron, Jerry was a huge threat to your almighty power. 502 00:23:02,230 --> 00:23:03,369 Yes. 503 00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:05,693 Which is why I wanted to kill him myself 504 00:23:06,866 --> 00:23:08,523 in front of everyone 505 00:23:08,534 --> 00:23:10,881 to reassert my power. 506 00:23:11,053 --> 00:23:13,055 Do you honestly think that I did not know 507 00:23:13,227 --> 00:23:15,195 this insipid gathering was a trap? 508 00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:17,070 You knew? 509 00:23:17,081 --> 00:23:18,578 Of course I knew. 510 00:23:19,014 --> 00:23:21,754 I didn't know Jerry was the enemy, Baron. 511 00:23:21,767 --> 00:23:25,184 But that is no excuse. I have dishonored myself. 512 00:23:25,831 --> 00:23:29,075 But even worse, I have dishonored you. 513 00:23:29,710 --> 00:23:32,086 I will now take my own life. 514 00:23:32,097 --> 00:23:34,432 - No. No! - No, let me... 515 00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:37,241 - I will not. - Let her. 516 00:23:37,252 --> 00:23:40,048 - Baron, take my life instead. - Do it. 517 00:23:40,059 --> 00:23:43,143 - Huh. - Hold on here. Are you two a thing? 518 00:23:43,154 --> 00:23:45,225 - No. Not at all. - It's early days. 519 00:23:45,236 --> 00:23:48,239 Get up. We're going to run out of vampires at this rate. 520 00:23:48,447 --> 00:23:50,276 What the blazes? 521 00:23:52,588 --> 00:23:54,280 Gift. 522 00:23:54,291 --> 00:23:56,777 Oh. Jerry's crushed head. Thank you. 523 00:23:57,271 --> 00:23:59,101 Very nice. 524 00:23:59,112 --> 00:24:01,597 You can just lay that down there. 525 00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:04,037 I will find somewhere lovely for it later. 526 00:24:04,048 --> 00:24:05,912 - Now, we all have much organizing... - Good job. 527 00:24:06,085 --> 00:24:07,707 ... to do for tomorrow evening. 528 00:24:08,169 --> 00:24:10,378 To set this right. 529 00:24:10,389 --> 00:24:12,805 Here we are again. 530 00:24:12,953 --> 00:24:15,956 Jerry tried to tear us apart. 531 00:24:16,487 --> 00:24:18,983 But we, unlike Jerry, 532 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,871 will work as one. 533 00:24:21,882 --> 00:24:24,576 - Yes. - For it will take all of us, 534 00:24:24,587 --> 00:24:26,784 all vampires, 535 00:24:26,795 --> 00:24:29,660 to bring the humans of this new world 536 00:24:29,995 --> 00:24:32,963 under our dominion. 537 00:24:33,136 --> 00:24:35,793 - Yes! - Any questions? 538 00:24:37,605 --> 00:24:39,201 Ah. 539 00:24:44,882 --> 00:24:47,678 Okay. Anybody else? Let's see. There was someone... 540 00:24:47,851 --> 00:24:48,921 Ah. You. 541 00:24:50,585 --> 00:24:51,966 Did you have a question? 542 00:24:53,672 --> 00:24:55,364 - Uh, nope. - Are you sure? 543 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,953 Because I thought I saw your hand go up. 544 00:24:59,330 --> 00:25:02,979 I thought I had a... had a question, but then y-you answered it. 545 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,478 Just as I thought. 546 00:25:08,032 --> 00:25:09,275 Vampires dismissed. 547 00:25:11,311 --> 00:25:12,726 Two nights out in a row. 548 00:25:12,737 --> 00:25:14,878 The Sire's never gonna let me hear the end of this. 549 00:26:09,747 --> 00:26:15,120 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 41729

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