All language subtitles for Animal.House.1978.1080p.BrRip.x264.YIFY (2)

Take off that beanie.

Hey, we're supposed to
wear it until homecoming.

Don't be a fruit, okay?

Okay.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hi, there.

Doug Neidermeyer,
Omega membership chairman.

Larry Kroger. This. . .

This is my roommate,
Kent Dorfman.

Hi, there.
Doug Neidermeyer.

And these are
our nametag hostesses

Mandy Pepperidge
and Babs Jansen.

- Hi, there, Kent. Hi, Larry.
- Hi.

Welcome to Omega House.

Thank you. Nice to. . .

Why don't we just go inside
and meet some of the guys, huh?

(LAUGHING)

A wimp and a blimp.

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

There are a lot of
great guys here tonight,

so don't feel you
have to meet everybody.

We just want you to enjoy
yourselves while you're here.

MAN: Well, Chip,
I think you'll find

that Omega House
has more activities

than most of the other
fraternities on campus

and they're far superior,
I think. . .

- Mandy.
- Hi. Oh, right there.

Hi, there, fellas.
Like you to meet Ken and Lonnie.

Larry.

- Ken, Lonnie, I'd like you to meet. . .
- Larry.

. . .Mohamet, Jugdish,
Sidney, and Clayton.

Now just grab a seat,
and make yourselves at home

and don't be shy about helping
yourselves to punch and cookies.

Now, I'm not going to say that
Omega's the best house on campus

but a lot of
outstanding guys

figure they'll pledge Omega,
or they won't pledge at all.

We do have more than
our share of campus leaders.

Something that never looks bad
on your permanent record, Chip.

Well, sure.

Everybody I talk to says Omega's
the best, but I hate to seem

you know, pushy.

Let the unacceptable
candidates worry about that

because after tonight
they're. . . You are. . .

Kent.

I'm Greg Marmalard,
President of Omega House.

And I'd like you to meet my friends,
Mandy Pepperidge. . .

- Hello.
- Hi.

- We already met.
- . . .and Chip Diller.

- How are you?
- Hi. How are you?

And over there is Terry Auerback,
captain of the swim team

and that's Carl Phillips, editor
of The Daily Faberian

and Clayton

Sidney, Jugless,
Mohamet, Lonnie. . .

Yeah, we already met.

Oh, super!

Then you'll have lots
to talk about, huh? Yeah.

I don't know, Larry. I don't think
you're trying very hard.

I hate this.

Look, no sweat.

My brother Fred was a Delta.
That makes me a legacy.

They gotta take me.
It's like their law.

Don't worry. I'll put
in a good word for you.

Great. I heard Delta's
the worst house on campus.

(LOUIE, LOUIE PLAYING)

(URINE SPLATTERING)

Excuse me, sir.
Is this the Delta house?

Sure.

Come on in.

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

Grab a brew.
Don't cost nothing.

(MONEY PLAYING)

I've never seen anything like
this before. I'll see you later.

Down to her underwear.
I had a boner. I know I did.

(GLASS BREAKING)

And bump you $20.

Hi, guys.

I'll see another ten.

You guys playing cards?

You want another beer?

Hi. You want a beer,

- Larry?
- Sure.

Nice fish, huh?

Hi, Larry. I'm Robert Hoover,
Chapter President.

Hi, Robert.

Katy, have you seen Boon?

He disappeared
the minute we got here.

He's probably upstairs
talking to Otter.

No doubt. They're
well-known homosexuals.

Have another beer, Larry.
She's just kidding.

Right, Bluto?

(WHISTLING)

You going out tonight, Otter?

Uh-huh.

Norma?

No. Let me
give you a hint.

She's got a couple
of major-league yabos.

Beverly.

No, but you're
getting warmer.

Let me give you another hint.
Does this ring a bell?

(IN FALSETTO)
"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God!"

Marlene.

Don't tell me you're gonna
pork Marlene Desmond.

Pork?

Gonna hump her brains out,
aren't you?

Boon, I anticipate
a deeply religious experience.

Why are you so interested
in my social life? Where's Katy?

Downstairs, pissed off
about something.

She thinks you're an
immature jerk, huh?

Yeah.

I don't take anything seriously.

She'll take this seriously.
Try it.

Hey, are you guys
coming down?

This thing talk?

There happen to be 50 people downstairs
waiting to try and get into this fraternity.

Otter, you are the rush chairman.

I think you should be
present at the rush party.

Hi. My name is Kent Dorfman.

Hey, Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman.
Damn glad to meet you.

D-Day.

Hi. Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman.
Damn glad to meet you.

Hi. That was Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman.
He was damn glad to meet you.

Oh, Larry. Good.
I see you've met D-Day.

Good. You're having a nice
time. That's good. Good.

(CROAKING WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE)

Hey, Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman.
Damn glad to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice tie.

Is that a clip-on,
by any chance?

Boon, come on over
and check this out.

Excuse me. Pardon me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.

Pardon me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Pardon me.

Oh, 90% rayon. Very nice.

Hi, boys, having a good time,
I hope? Excuse me, one second.

- Did your mother buy that for you?
- Yeah.

Kent is a legacy, Otter.
His brother was a '59. Fred Dorfman?

He said legacies usually get
asked to pledge automatically.

Oh, well, usually, unless the pledge in
question turns out to be a real closet case.

- Like Fred.
- My brother.

Kent, come on over here.

- I like the tie.
- Great tie, don't you think?

Katy!

(LOUIE, LOUIE PLAYING)

Hi. Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman.
Damn glad to meet you.

Katy.

Katy, Katy, Katy.
Where you going?

Home, Donald.

We just got here.

No, Boon,
you just got here.

I've been downstairs for
an hour entertaining some kid

from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.

Maybe we could drive up to
your folks' place this weekend.

Oh, fabulous.

My car, filled with
your beer buddies

going up to empty my
parents' liquor cabinet.

It's too depressing
to think about.

No.

Just gonna be you and me,
and Otter and another girl.

Is this really what you're gonna do
for the rest of your life?

What do you mean?
I mean, hanging around

with a bunch of animals,
getting drunk every weekend.

No.

After I graduate,
I'm gonna get drunk every night.

(HUMMING TANGO)

Boon, I think
I'm in love with a retard.

Is he bigger than me?

Greg,

what is the worst fraternity
on this campus?

That would be
hard to say, sir.

They're each outstanding
in their own way. . .

Cut the horse shit, son.
I got their disciplinary files right here.

Who dumped a whole truckload
of Fizzies into the swim meet?

Who delivered the medical school
cadavers to the alumni dinner?

Every Halloween, the trees
are filled with underwear.

Every spring,
the toilets explode.

You're talking about Delta, sir.

Of course I'm talking
about Delta, you twerp!

This year,
it's gonna be different.

This year, we're going to grab
the bull by the balls

and kick those punks off campus.

What do you intend to do, sir?
Delta's already on probation.

They are?

Yes, sir.

Oh.

Then as of this moment,
they're on double secret probation.

Double secret probation, sir?

There is a little-known codicil in
the Faber College constitution

which gives the Dean unlimited
power to preserve order

in time of campus emergency.

Find me a way to
revoke Delta's charter.

You live next door.

Put Neidermeyer on it.

He's a sneaky little shit,
just like you, right?

The time has come for someone
to put his foot down

and that foot is me.

Larry Kroger. All in favor.

Who cares?
We need the dues.

Good. Larry Kroger is now
pledged to Delta Tau Chi.

Next slide, please, D-Day.

(SCREAMING)

(ALL JEERING)

Just a minute. Just a minute.
Just settle down.

This is Kent Dorfman.
He's a legacy from Harrisburg.

(ALL CLAMORING)

Oh, come on, now.
Okay.

Now wait.
Okay.

Okay, this guy is a real zero.
That's true.

Let's just think back
to when you guys were freshmen.

Boon, you had a face like
a pepperoni pizza, right?

And Stork here.

Everybody thought
the Stork was brain damaged.

I, myself,
was so obnoxious

the seniors used to
beat me up once a week.

So this guy
is a total loser?

Well, let me tell you
the story of another loser.

Get up!

Let's go! On your feet!

I. . . State your name.

ALL: I. . . state your name.

Do hereby pledge
allegiance to the frat.

With liberty and
fraternity for all.

Amen.

Sergeant at Arms.

Do your duty.

From now on,
your Delta Tau Chi name is Weasel.

From now on,
your name is Mothball.

Kroger,
your Delta Tau Chi name is Pinto.

Why Pinto?
(BURPING) Why not?

What's my Delta Tau Chi name?

Dorfman, I've given this
a lot of thought.

From now on,
your name is Flounder.

Flounder?

(LOUIE, LOUIE PLAYING)

(SINGING
LOUIE, LOUIE DRUNKENLY)

We now consecrate
the bond of obedience.

Assume the position.

Thank you, sir!
May I have another?

Thank you, sir.
May I have another?

Now what can we say

of John Milton's Paradise Lost?

Well, it's a very long poem.

It was written a long
time ago and I'm sure

a lot of you have
difficulty understanding

exactly what
Milton was trying to say.

Certainly we know
that he was trying

to describe the struggle
between good and evil, right?

Okay.

The most intriguing character,
as we all know from our reading, was. . .

Satan.

Now was Milton
trying to tell us

that being bad was
more fun than being good?

Okay.

Don't write this down,
but I find Milton

probably as boring
as you find Milton.

Mrs. Milton found him boring,
too. He. . . He's a little bit long-winded.

He doesn't translate very well
into our generation

and his jokes are terrible.

(BELL RINGING)

But that does not relieve you from
your responsibility for this material.

Now, I'm waiting for
reports from some of you.

Listen, I'm not joking.
This is my job.

Come on, Mandy, honey.
You know I'd tell you.

Are you and Greg doing
the dirty deed or not?

Greg doesn't believe
in premarital intercourse.

Too bad.

I think he's just dreamy.

MAN: Jumping jacks!

And one, two, three, four!

And one, two. . .

Company, halt!

Dress that line.

Dress that line, mister.

Dress that line, soldier.

Mister, hold my mount.

You fat, disgusting slob.

You're a goddamn disgrace!

A vicious mother,
isn't he?

Yeah. He can't do
that to our pledges.

Only we can do that
to our pledges.

Redo those buttons.
Dress that belt buckle.

Straighten that cap.
And goddamn it, tuck up those pajamas!

Attention! Eyes front!

What's that
on your chest, mister?

It's a pledge pin, sir.

A pledge pin?

On your uniform?

Hooked it. Shit.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Just tell me, mister,
what fraternity would pledge

a man like you?

It's a Delta pin, sir.

Slice.

You'll report to the stable tonight
and every night at 1900 hours

and without
that pledge pin!

Do you understand?

Your left arm is straight,
but you're not keeping your head down.

You're all worthless and weak!

Now, drop and give me 20!

Ho! Whoa!

Ho.
Get back in rank! Attention!

Always try to hit
through the ball.

Whoa, big fella. Whoa, whoa.

Trooper, whoa. . .

(SCREAMING)

I gotta work on my game.

No, no, no.
Don't think of it as work.

The whole point is
just to enjoy yourself.

BOON: Now, I want you to fix Pinto up,
but it's gotta be a very special girl.

Listen. You don't have. . .
Now, she should be decent-looking

but we're willing to trade
looks for a certain kind of

morally casual attitude.

Oh, you mean you want somebody
he can screw on the first date.

Well put. You see,
Pinto's never been laid.

Hey.
What'd I say?

Cut it out.
Look, you guys.

Don't embarrass me
in front of Dave, okay?

- He's the only professor I like.
- I know.

Mr. Jennings is
a wonderful teacher.

No, teaching's a way
of paying the rent,

until I finish my novel.

How long you been
working on it?

Four and a half years.

Must be very good.

It's a piece of shit.

Would anybody like
to smoke some pot?

Yeah.

You ever smoked before?

Sure.

When did you ever smoke pot?

I've done a lot of things
you don't know about.

Yeah?

(SPUTTERING)

I won't go schizo,
will I?

There's a distinct possibility.

Is this right?

Just try not to drool quite
so much on the end of it.

(COUGHS)

Hey, hey, Paula

I wanna marry you
I wanna marry you

Hey, hey, Paula
Hey, hey, Paula

Nobody else could ever do
Nobody else could ever do

You've waited
You've waited so long

For school to be through
For school to get through

Be through
Get through, Paula

I can't wait no more for you
I can't wait no more for you

Okay.

So that means that
our whole solar system

could be like one tiny atom

in the fingernail of
some other giant being.

(LAUGHING) This is too much.

That means that

one tiny atom in my
fingernail could be. . .

Could be one little tiny universe.

Could I buy some pot from you?

(SNORTING)

Whoa!

Give me that.

Yeah.

Yeah, baby.

Good baby, yes.

It's all right.
You stupid son of a. . .

Dorfman, for God's sake, what kind
of man hits a defenseless animal?

I've got a good mind
to smash your fat face.

Yeah, but. . .
Now listen up,

you nauseating pile of blubber,
your days are numbered here at Faber.

You and all your
sick Delta buddies.

Meantime,
your ass belongs to me.

Now, drop and give me 20!

Yes, but. . .

Hit it!

Oh, Trooper, baby.
Baby, Trooper.

Come here, baby. Come here.
Yeah, baby, yeah. Come here.

Yeah, cutie-pie, come on.

Yeah.

I want these quarters standing
tall by 0900 tomorrow.

You got that?

Yes, sir.

Brother D-Day.
Brother Bluto.

Do you hate that ying-yang?

Who?

Neidermeyer.
You hate his
guts, right?

I guess so.
You guess so?

Yes, I hate him.
I hate his guts.

Good. Now, we have
an old saying in Delta:

Don't get mad. Get even.

(WHISPERING) Now,
what we're gonna do is. . .

Nice horsey. Good.
Come on. Let's go. Let's go.

He's in there.

Oh, boy, is this great?

Now finish it, Flounder.

Are you kidding?

I never shot anything
before in my life.

I thought you hated
Neidermeyer's guts.

I do.

And what about that horse?
Is there anything in the world

you hate as much as that horse?

Get it over with, Kent.

Just blanks, right?
Right.

(BELLOWING)

(DEBRIS FALLING)

What's going on?

Holy shit!

There were blanks in that gun.

I didn't even
point the gun at him.

Holy shit!

There were blanks in that gun!

Maybe he had a heart attack.

Holy shit!

(ALL SCREAMING)

If you want the homecoming parade
in my town, you have to pay.

Carmine, I don't think it's right that
you should extort money from the college.

Look.

As the mayor of Faber,
I've got big responsibilities.

And these parades
are very expensive.

You're using my police,

my sanitation people,
my three Oldsmobiles.

So,
if you mention
extortion again

I'll have your legs broken.

Well, I'm sure I can arrange a nice
little honorarium from the student fund.

And another thing,

you better sit on that zoo
fraternity of yours.

I don't want no drunken
riots in my town.

Don't worry, Carmine.
I've got those boys just where I want them.

We'll have the best
homecoming parade Faber's ever had.

(WONDERFUL WORLD PLAYING)

Mandy.

Mandy Pepperidge. Well,
I haven't seen you since we. . .

Go away.

I'm sorry. I can
only stay a minute.

Let me buy you some lunch.

Oh, you've got your lunch.
Well, how about some milk then?

You got your milk, too.

Can I just massage
your thighs while you eat?

Do I have to leave?

Is this any way to treat
an intimate friend?

I asked you never to speak to
me again. Now will you go away?

(SNORTING)

(GROANING)

I do hope we're not interrupting
anything, Mandy, honey.

Well, if you must know. . .

Eric was just leaving.

No, I wasn't.

I could make you leave
if you ask me. . .

Bluto!
Hey, I think you
know everybody here.

Greg, really, can't you. . .
No, don't worry.

Just keep your hands
and feet away from his mouth.

Don't you have any
respect for yourself?

This is absolutely gross.

That boy is a P-I-G. Pig.

See if you can guess
what I am now.

(SCREAMS)

I'm a zit. Get it?

All right, you bastard,
let's go. Right here.

(LET'S DANCE PLAYING)

Come on, Blutarsky!

Hey, why don't
we go out tonight?

Otter, don't flatter yourself.
It wasn't that great.

(INAUDIBLE)

Food fight!

(UPBEAT MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO)

MANDY: Oh, Greg. Look.

It's a star. Look.

Let's make a wish. Come on.

Starlight, star bright. . .

Hey, wait a minute.
That's not a star.

Oh.
It's moving too fast.

Probably a 707.

Those babies really
can move across the sky.

Greg,
is anything
happening yet?

My arm's kind of tired.

I'm sorry, Mandy.

It's just that thing with the Deltas.
Has me a little distracted.

I know.

God knows how they've
molested women.

Anything?

Maybe a little faster.

Yeah.
How's that?

Yeah.
Yeah?

I'll bet that Eric Stratton's
lucky he's not in jail.

I'll say.

What?

You'll say what?

I'll say what?

You said, "I'll say," when I said that
Eric Stratton should be put in jail.

I'm trying to figure out. . .
Darn it, Greg.

If you're not even gonna try,
I'm just gonna stop.

Mandy, I. . .

Good night, Greg.

Good night, Mandy.

(GIRLS CHATTERING)

(SHRIEKING)

Stop, stop, stop.

Trying to steal your boyfriend?
Her boyfriend.

And not your boyfriend?
Not my boyfriend.

Speaking of boyfriends,
Mandy, how was your date with Greg?

Good night.
ALL: Good night.

(THUDDING)

That's it.

She broke our date.

Washing her hair.

Dead mother.

We're in trouble.

I just checked with the
guys at the Jewish house

and they said that every one of our
answers on the psych test were wrong.

Every one?

Those assholes must have stolen
the wrong fucking exam.

Oh, God, look
what just creeped in.

Well, well, well.

Looks like somebody forgot there's
a rule against alcoholic beverages

in fraternities on probation.

What a tool.

I didn't get that, son.
What was that?

I said what a shame

that a few bad apples have to spoil
a good time for everyone

by breaking the rules.
Put a sock in it, boy

or else you'll be out of here
like shit through a goose.

Yes, sir.

Now, have you boys seen
your grade point average, yet?

Well, have you?

I have, sir.

I know it's a little
below par. . .

It's more than a little
below par, Mr. Hoover.

It stinks!

It's the lowest on campus.
It's the lowest in Faber history!

Well, sir,

we're hoping that our midterm
grades will really help our average.

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

Laugh now,

because you clowns have been
on double secret probation

since the beginning
of this semester.

Double secret probation?

And that means,
one more slip-up,

one more mistake,

and this fraternity
of yours has had it

at Faber.

Well, that was pleasant. Nice of
him to stop by, don't you think?

We've gotta do something.
He's serious this time.

I think he knows
about the exams.

He's right. You're right.
We gotta do something.

Absolutely.
You know what we gotta do?

Toga party.
Toga party.

We're on double secret
probation, whatever that is.

We can't afford
to have a toga party.

You guys up
for a toga party?

Toga! Toga!

I think they like
the idea, Hoov.

Oh, Otter,
please don't do this.

I got news for you, pal. They're gonna
nail us no matter what we do.

So we might as well
have a good time.

Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!

It's not gonna be an orgy.

It's a toga party.

Honestly, Boon,
you're 21 years old.

In six months,
you're gonna graduate,

and tomorrow night you're gonna
wrap yourself up in a bed sheet

and pour grain alcohol
all over your head.

It's cute, but I think
I'll pass this time.

Want me to go alone?

Baby, I don't want
you to go at all.

It's a fraternity party. I'm in
the fraternity. How can I miss it?

I'll write you a note.
I'll say you're too well to attend.

That's funny. Very funny.

Where'd he
get the wheels?

From his brother.
Yeah?

He's letting him
use it for a week or so.

Flounder's bringing his
girlfriend up for the weekend.

Flounder,
I am appointing you

pledge representative
to the social committee.

Gee, Otter. Thanks.
What do I have to do?

It means you have to drive
us to the Food King!

Let's go. Let's go!

Food King, Food King,
Food King.

Let's go. Food King,
Food King, Food King!

(WHISTLING)

Otter, please.

What are you doing?

I'm fixing your sweater.

There you go.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Now, look. Stick by me,
and keep your sweater closed.

Hey, I could get in trouble.

That's right.
So, be cool.

Mine's bigger than that.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, my cucumber.
It's bigger.

Vegetables can be
really sensuous, don't you think?

No.

Vegetables are sensual.

People are sensuous.

Right. Sensual.
That's what I meant.

By the way, my name
is Eric Stratton.

They call me Otter.

My name's Marion.
They call me Mrs. Wormer.

We have a Dean Wormer
at Faber.

What a coincidence.

I have a husband named
Dean Wormer at Faber.

You still want to
show me your cucumber?

Nothing for me today,
thanks.

It looks like you gained
some weight since you came in.

It's just a prank.
I'm pledging a fraternity.

Don't sweat it, sweetie.
I won't tell.

Well, we're having a little party
at the Delta Tau Chi house tonight

and you are
cordially invited.

I'm old enough to be
your mother. Almost.

Besides, I have to go to the
goddamn senior honors dinner tonight.

Well, maybe
some other time.

Doubtful.

Maybe?

So if you're not busy, you
wanna go to a fraternity party?

Will I be home by 12:00?

Sure. Any time you want.
I'll pick you up at. . .

My dad would kill me if he knew
I was going to a frat house.

Is it okay
if I meet you there?

Is it okay?

It's terrific!

(TWISTING THE NIGHT AWAY PLAYING)

Well, girls, welcome to the
Delta toga party. Come in.

Here, let me
take your coat.

Great pair of togas.

Hey, why don't you help yourself
to some delicious Delta punch

and I'll join
you in a minute.

Otter, this is Sissy,
my steady girl, Sissy.

- Sis, this is the guy I was telling you about.
- Hi.

Wow.
You're even prettier
than Kent said you were.

What a great dress.
Yeah.

Listen, you two talk while
I get some punch for us, okay?

Good idea.
All right.

Kent's really a lucky guy.
Why don't we go sit down somewhere?

I gave my Iove a cherry

That had no stone

I gave my Iove a chicken

That had no bones

I gave my Iove a story

That had no end

I gave

Sorry.

Hi.
Hi.

You look great.
So do you.

I had to wait
until my folks went out.

Get me some more punch.

Thanks. Got a lot
of catching up to do.

You wanna dance?

Huh?
Do you wanna dance?

Yeah!

(SINGING SHOUT)

Hey, Otis!

(WHISTLING)

Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah!

(MOUTHING WORDS)

Gator!

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Mrs. Wormer, I'm so
glad you could come.

Cut the crap.

Give me a drink.

This is Hoover's room.

Oh, yeah? It's neat.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

I think it's locked
or something.

Just a minute.

Fuck her.
Fuck her brains out.

Suck her tits. Squeeze her buns.
You know she wants it.

For shame! Lawrence,
I'm surprised at you!

Don't listen to that jack-off.
Look at those gazongas.

You'll never
get a better chance.

If you lay one finger
on that poor, sweet, helpless girl,

you'll despise yourself forever!

I'm proud of you, Lawrence.

You homo.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

My fault?

For Christ's sake, Carmine,
how the hell could it be my fault?

One of those goddamn
fraternities, I guess.

I don't know, but I got a pretty good
goddamn idea which one!

I'm gonna string them up by the balls!
That's what I'm gonna do!

(LAUGHING)

I just bet it was
that Eric Stratton.

You know that for sure?

Well, no, but, you'd be surprised
at some of the girls he's had.

Very surprised.

(CHATTERING)

Must've been some party.

Unbelievable!

A new low.
I'm so ashamed.

Gee, I'm almost
sorry I missed it.

What'd you do?
Human sacrifice?

No, just some harmless fun.
Buy me a dinner tonight?

Can't tonight. Busy.

Busy tonight?

(CLEARING THROAT)

(GAVEL POUNDING)

Please take your seats.

This meeting of the disciplinary
council will now come to order.

We'll waive minutes and proceed
directly with charges against Delta Tau Chi.

Sergeant at Arms?

(GAVEL POUNDING)

(HISSING)

The following charges
are brought:

First, that the Delta House
did knowingly violate the rules

on governing pledge recruitment

by serving alcohol to
freshmen during pledge week

and after established
drinking hours.

I'd like to address these
charges one at a time, if I may.

You'll get your chance,
smart guy.

Now, get on with it.

Second, that for the fifth
consecutive semester,

Delta has achieved a deficient
aggregate grade point average.

Half the houses on campus
didn't make grades last year.

You will speak when you're
told to speak and not before! Read.

Third, that the Delta
fraternity routinely provided

dangerous narcotic diet pills
to its members during. . .

That's not true!

Not another word!

During midterm examination week.

And, most recently

that a Roman toga party was held

from which we have received

two dozen reports
of individual acts of perversion,

so profound and disgusting

that decorum prohibits
listing them here.

(GAVEL POUNDING)

These are the charges as recorded
this day 15 November, 1962.

Faithfully submitted,
Douglas C. Neidermeyer,

Sergeant at Arms.

(HISSING)

Well done.

Robert Hoover will speak
on behalf of Delta House.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I don't think you can
fully judge a fraternity

without looking at the positive
qualities of the people in it.

The Delta House has a long tradition
of existence to its members

and to the community at large.

I think we've heard
enough, Mr. Chairman.

I was told I'd
have a chance to. . .

That's enough!

The court will now
render a decision.

But, look, you said
I could speak. . .

He said, "That's it!"

Are you deaf?

Let's finish this damn thing.

Blow job!

(ALL COUGHING)

Blow job.

I don't think it's fair!

I'll tell you what's fair
and what's not!

Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!

(GAVEL POUNDING)

Will you tell those
assholes to shut up?

Hey, shut up,
you assholes!

Mr. President, do we have to
listen to any more of this?

Point of parliamentary
procedure.

Don't screw around.
They're serious this time.

Take it easy.
I'm in Pre-Law, man.

I thought you're Pre-Med?
What's the difference?

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'll be brief.

What the hell do
you think he's up to?

The issue here is not whether
we broke a few rules or

took a few liberties
with our female party guests.

We did.

But you can't hold a
whole fraternity responsible

for the behavior of a few
sick, perverted individuals.

For if you do,

then shouldn't we blame
the whole fraternity system?

And if the whole fraternity
system is guilty,

then isn't this an indictment

of our educational
institutions in general?

(ALL AGREEING)

I put it to you, Greg!

Isn't this an indictment
of our entire American society?

Well, you can do
what you want to us,

but we are not going to
sit here and listen to you

badmouth the United States of America!

Gentlemen!

MAN: Order!

(HUMMING THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER)

You're not walking out on this
one, mister. You're finished.

No more Delta!

You bought it
this time, buster!

I am calling
your national office!

I am going to revoke
your charter!

And if you wise guys
try one more thing, one more,

I'm going to kick you out
of this college!

No more fun of any kind!

(YELLING)

(MOOING)

When my father was in Korea,
see, he wasn't a flyer.

He was in the infantry,
and he was an officer, of course.

How does it feel to be
an independent, Schoenstein?

How does it feel to be
an asshole, Neidermeyer?

What did he say?

Hoover says they won't even let us
nter a float in the homecoming parade.

Some stupid zombies get to ride
a pile of Kleenex down the street?

Hey, look!

BLUTO: Goddamn son of a bitch!

I'll kill you, you scumbag,
jerk-off assholes!

Jesus. What's going on?

They confiscated everything,
even the stuff we didn't steal.

They took the bar!
The whole fucking bar!

Thanks. I needed that.

Christ.

Otter, this is ridiculous.

What are we gonna do?

Road trip.
Road trip.

But you can't take the car, Otter!
Fred wrote the mileage down!

He wants it back by Sunday.
Please don't take the car!

It's very important!
He'll get very mad at me!

Get in.
You can't. . . No!

But, Otter,
don't you understand?

He wants it back!
Where'd you go?

He wants it back by Sunday!

Fred's gonna kill me!
This car is expensive!

(ALL YELLING)

FLOUNDER: Please,
I'm gonna get in trouble!

We can have fun,
but drive carefully.

OTTER: We won't tell anybody
that it happened.

FLOUNDER: I hear
Dickinson girls are fast.

What should I say?
I mean, how should I handle it?

Just mention modern art, civil rights
or folk music, and you're in like Flynn.

You sure we have dates?
Absolutely.

Boon, what's this
chick's name again?

"Fawn Liebowitz."

Fawn Liebowitz and she was from
Fort Wayne, Indiana.

I hope I score.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy!

Turn the car around.
I'll be right back.

(WHISTLING)

Excuse me?
Can I help you?

Well, I'm here
to pick up my date.

Could you ring
Fawn Liebowitz for me?

Fawn Liebowitz?

Just a minute.

Hello, Shelly? This is Brunella at the desk.
Could you come down here?

Now.

Because a boy just came in
to pick up Fawn, that's why.

Thank you.

Is she coming down?

Her roommate is.
Fawn isn't here.
She. . .

Would you excuse me a minute?

Evening.

Hi, I'm Shelly Dubinsky,
Fawn's roommate.

Hi, I'm Frank Lymon from
Amherst, Fawn's fiancé.

Her. . .

Actually, we're engaged
to be engaged.

What's the matter with
everyone around here?

Why don't we sit down,
Frank?

Sure.

I don't know how to tell you.
So, I'm just gonna tell you.

Fawn's dead.

She's dead?

Did she put you up to this? Oh, that minx.
What a lively sense of humor.

"Sophomore dies
in kiln explosion."

Oh, my God.

I'm terribly,
terribly sorry, Frank.

I just talked
to her last week.

She was gonna
make a pot for me.

If there's anything
I can do. . .

You're so nice.

I really shouldn't
impose on you.

No, really. Anything.

I just don't think I should
be alone tonight.

Would. . .

Would you go
out with me?

I'll get my coat.

And, could you get
three dates for my friends?

BOON: Otter, holy shit!

Otis Day and the Knights!
I don't believe this!

It feels so good to be back here
at the Dexter Lake Club.

We'd like to do for you now a tune entitled
Shamalamma Ding Dong. So, hit it.

Wait till Otis sees us!
He loves us!

Oh, my God!
It's dented. It's dented!

It's dented.

(SINGING SHAMALAMMA
DING DONG)

(MUSIC STOPS)

We are gonna die.

Boon, we're the only
white people here.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

You sure it's. . .
Don't worry about a thing, man.

A double rock 'n' rye
and seven Carlings.

Otis! My man!

You girls come here often?

Frank, are you all right?

Yeah. This is really fun.

I'm really sorry, Frank.

I know what you
must be going through.

(SIGHING)

Would you rather be alone?

- So, what are you majoring in?
- What?

- What are you majoring in?
- Primitive cultures.

I need you so much.

I'm here, Frank, I'm here.

Move to your left a little.

Good.

Where do you go to school?

I wonder where Otter is.

Maybe I should go
outside and look for him.

I used to touch Fawn this way.

I know. She told me.

She did?

Do you mind if we dance
with your dates?

Why, no, not at all.
Go right ahead.

If I was in your shoes,
I'd be. . .

Leaving.
What a good idea.

(ALL YELLING)

(SCREAMING)

Wait a minute! Hold it.

BOON: Compose yourself, Otter.
We got to get out of here!

The Negroes took our dates!

Oh, my God, Boon!
Please be careful!

Be careful! That's gonna cost
hundreds of dollars to fix!

FLOUNDER: Oh, my God!

OTTER: We're out!

(ALL WHOOPING)

What baffles me is why Fawn would
have gone out with boys like that.

They reminded me of criminals.
They were horrible.

Well, I don't know,
I think Frank was kind of cute.

(ALL EXCLAIMlNG DISGUSTEDLY)

Well, I really
felt sorry for him.

He started crying and. . .

(ALL EXCLAIMlNG DISGUSTEDLY)

(PHONE RINGING)

(HEY PAULA PLAYING)

What'd Katy say?

She wasn't home.

Where could she
be at 6:00 a.m.?

What is with you two?

I don't know.
Something's wrong.

Women. Can't live with them,
can't live without them.

Hey, you know where Mandy is?

She was supposed to come
over to help make teeth.

Sure don't, Greg. She said she was
just gonna wash her hair.

That's typical, just when we're
doing something important.

(WHO'S SORRY NOW PLAYING)

Greg, I hate to see her
make such a chump out of you.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that Mandy and
Eric Stratton are having an affair.

But, I love you, Greg.
That's why I had to tell you.

Babs, I want you to
do something for me.

(TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' PLAYING)

Good.

I'm out of here.
Katy?

Yeah?
Good luck.

(MAKING KISSlNG NOISE)

Stop blubbering.

When I get through with this thing,
you won't even recognize it.

Come on. Flounder.

You can't spend your whole life
worrying about your mistakes.

You fucked up.
You trusted us.

Hey, make the best of it.
Maybe we can help you.

That's easy for you to say!
What am I gonna tell Fred?

I'll tell you what.

I'll swear you were doing
a great job taking care of his car,

but you parked it out back last
night and this morning, it was gone.

D-Day takes care of the wreck!
We report it to the police.

Your brother's insurance company
buys him a new car.

Will that work?

It's got to work
better than the truth.

My advice to you is
to start drinking heavily.

You'd better listen to him,
Flounder. He's in Pre-Med.

(WHISTLING)

There you go now,
just leave everything to me.

Hi, Katy.

I missed you.

- Boon, I was gonna try and call you. . .
MAN: Where are they, Katy?

Boon, I don't know what to say.

(DOOR SLAMMING)
Boon, wait!

Shit.
Must be in the kitchen.

What's the matter?

Yeah, there they are.

Are you sure, Babs?
Why would Mandy want to see me?

Well, I'm sure I don't know,
Otter. You'll just have to ask her,

as soon as you can get there.

Well, do you know the
Rainbow Motel on Old Mill Road?

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Bye.

Teddy!

Did you get the grade reports
on the Deltas yet?

Yes, I have it right here.

Why didn't you tell me?

(CHUCKLING)

Good.

Good, good, good.

(WHISTLING)

It's Mr. Thoughtful
with a dozen roses for you.

One, two, three, four, five.

Well, looks like we're gonna be
a couple of flowers short,

so some of you boys
are gonna have to. . .

Where are the other two?
Stratton and Schoenstein?

We looked everywhere,
sir, but. . .

Never mind,
it doesn't matter.

You gentlemen seen
your midterm grades yet?

Well, they're not
posted yet, sir.

I've seen them.

Mr. Kroger, two C's,
two D's, and an F.

That's a 1.2 grade average.

Congratulations, Kroger, you're at
the top of the Delta pledge class.

Mr. Dorfman.

Hello.

0.2.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is
no way to go through life, son.

Mr. Hoover,
president of Delta House, 1.6.

Four C's and an F,
a fine example you set.

Daniel Simpson Day
has no grade point average.

All courses incomplete.

Mister. . .

Mr. Blutarsky.

0.0.

Now, I want you to tell Mr. Stratton
and Mr. Schoenstein

exactly what I'm about
to tell you now.

What's that, sir?

You're out. Finished
at Faber. Expelled.

I want you off this campus at
9:00 Monday morning!

And I'm sure
you'll be happy to know

that I have notified
your local draft boards

and told them that
you are now all. . .

All eligible
for military service.

Well?

Out with it.

(RETCHING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Relax, Greg, honey.

You know, I know, everybody knows
that Otter certainly had it coming.

I don't think the Deltas
will be giving us any more trouble.

No.

Greg, honey, is it
supposed to be this soft?

Christ!

Seven years of college
down the drain.

Might as well join
the fucking Peace Corps.

My mother's gonna kill me.

I knew it. I knew it,
I knew it, I knew it.

I can't believe I threw up
in front of Dean Wormer.

Face it, Kent.
You threw up on Dean Wormer.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Jesus Christ. What happened?
You look grotesque.

Some of the Omegas
did a little dance on my face.

Who was it?

It was Greggie and Dougie
and some of the other Hitler youth.

Why, what'd you do?

I don't know. They're
just animals, I guess.

Looks like
I missed something.

Yeah, you did.

We're all officially
kicked out of school.

Wormer just got our grades.

They kicked us out of school?
That makes sense.

Hey! What's this
lying around shit?

What the hell are we
supposed to do, you moron?

War's over, man.
Wormer dropped the big one.

What? Over?
Did you say, "over"?

Nothing is over
until we decide it is!

Was it over when the Germans
bombed Pearl Harbor?

- Hell, no!
- Germans?

Forget it, he's rolling.

And it ain't over now

because when
the going gets tough,

the tough get going!

Who's with me?
Let's go! Come on!

(YELLING)

What the fuck happened to
the Delta I used to know?

Where's the spirit?

Where's the guts, huh?

This could be the greatest
night of our lives,

but you're gonna
let it be the worst.

"We're afraid to go with you, Bluto.
We might get in trouble."

Well, just kiss
my ass from now on!

Not me!
I'm not gonna take this!

Wormer, he's a dead man!
Marmalard, dead!

- Neidermeyer?
- Dead.

Bluto's right.

Psychotic,
but absolutely right.

We got to take
these bastards.

Now, we could fight them
with conventional weapons,

but that could take years
and cost millions of lives.

No, no, no.

No. In this case,
I think we have to go all out.

I think this situation
absolutely requires

a really futile
and stupid gesture

be done on
somebody's part.

We're just the guys
to do it.

Let's do it.
Let's do it!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Tommy?
Tommy?

Hi.
Hi.

I'm Larry. Remember me,
I took you to the party?

Wait a minute.

(DOOR OPENING)

So, how come you show up now?
I didn't expect to see you.

Well, I never got a chance to say
good night to you after the party.

No kidding.
They almost pumped my stomach.

Look, is it okay if we go
for a walk or something?

What do you mean,
"or something?"

Well, I could get some beer.

No, not tonight, okay?
Besides, you might get lucky without it.

Before we go any further,
there's something I have to tell you.

I lied to you,
I've never done this before.

You've never made out
with a girl before?

No. No, I mean,

I've never done what I think
we're gonna do in a minute.

I sort of did once,
but I was. . .

That's okay, Larry,
neither have I.

And besides,
I lied to you, too.

Oh, yeah? What about?

I'm only 13.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Hi, there.

Yes, well,
marvelous day. Yes.

Excuse me. Excuse me, please.
Pardon me. Excuse me, please.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Okay, kid, off that mailbox.

That's government property.
Come on, let's go. Move, move it.

Excuse me, please.
Would you hold this?

Thank you very much.

Excuse me.

My kid can't see. Is it all right
if he stands in front of you?

No.

Hoover.

Hoover! Hoover!

Ow!

Hoover, where's Boon?

Katy, I don't think
you should stay around here.

What're you talking about?

We all got expelled
last night.

What? Why?

Where's Boon?
Katy, listen to me.

I think you'd be glad later
if you weren't here now.

May I have 10,000
marbles, please?

(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)

Testing.

It gives me great pIeasure

to present this ceremonial
gold-pIated whistIe

to this year's
Honorary Grand Marshal

Dean Vernon Wormer.

Mr. Marshal, the streets
of Faber are yours.

Thank you, Mr. Mayor.

(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)

(PLAYING THE WASHINGTON
POST MARCH)

Let's go.

Sequence! Hut!

CADETS: Faber!

Faber! Faber!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Thank you, God!

Say, those guys
are coming pretty fast.

What the fuck's going on down there?
I don't know.

Let's stop this now. Charge!

Get up, you faggots!
Get up and charge!

Stand up and fight
for Christ's sake!

(SCREAMING)

Faggots! Faggots!

Remain calm. All is well.

(YELLING)

Cut the cake.

Look!

Oh, my God.

(REVVING)

Let's take the cheese.

I hate those guys.

Ramming speed!

Oh, boy, is this great!

(ALL SCREAMING)

All is well!

You can take your thumb out
of my ass any time now, Carmine.

Remain. . .

This may seem an inopportune
moment to ask, Dean Wormer,

but do you think you could see your way
clear to giving us just one more chance?

(SIREN WAILING)

Daddy! Mom, Dad,

this is Larry Kroger,
the boy who molested me last month.

We have to get married.

We should discuss this
some other time, sir.

I know that
you're very busy. . .

Come out of there!

Come out of there,
you bastards!

OTTER: (IN FALSETTO)
Who is it?

You know damn well who it is!

I'm sorry, you'll have to come back
later, I'm doing the dishes.

Greg, look at my thumb.

Gee, you're dumb.

Bye.

Excuse me! Pardon me!
Pardon me!

Hey, Neidermeyer!

(SIREN WAILING)

Don't you guys think
you've had enough?

Okay, okay!
Now, I'm really mad!

Now, you've had it!
Officers, officers, please!

For God's sake, please!
They're looting the Food King!

Come back and fight!

No prisoners!

(SCREAMING)

(ANIMAL HOUSE PLAYING)