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1
00:00:46,578 --> 00:00:48,830
WOULD YOU WAKE ME UP
IN 7 MINUTES?
2
00:01:31,307 --> 00:01:34,609
AHH, DOUGLAS. ARE YOU
GOING OUT, BY ANY CHANCE?
3
00:01:34,676 --> 00:01:36,827
WELL, I'M PUTTING ON
A COAT, SO...
4
00:01:38,564 --> 00:01:40,998
I'M GONNA LET YOU
CONNECT THOSE DOTS.
5
00:01:41,066 --> 00:01:44,636
SORRY. I LIVE IN A BASEMENT
WITH NO INSULATION.
6
00:01:44,703 --> 00:01:47,472
I PUT ON A COAT
TO WATCH TV.
7
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:49,608
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
8
00:01:49,675 --> 00:01:51,927
ANYWAY, DO ME A SOLID
AND DROP ME OFF IN THE CITY.
9
00:01:51,994 --> 00:01:53,828
I'M GONNA HANG WITH MY
FRIENDS IN THE VILLAGE.
10
00:01:55,664 --> 00:01:56,764
YEAH, THAT'S NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.
11
00:01:58,267 --> 00:01:59,518
WHY NOT?
12
00:01:59,585 --> 00:02:01,002
BECAUSE CARRIE AND I, WE'RE
GOING TO SEE DEACON AND KELLY,
13
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:02,937
AND IT'S IN
THE OTHER DIRECTION.
14
00:02:03,005 --> 00:02:05,323
DARLING,
CAN YOU DRIVE ME?
15
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,541
DAD, I'M GOING
WITH DOUG.
16
00:02:06,609 --> 00:02:07,976
WON'T BE LATE.
LOVE YOU.
17
00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:12,614
FINE. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST HOP
A FREIGHT TRAIN, LIKE A HOBO?
18
00:02:12,681 --> 00:02:13,415
MAKE SURE
YOU BRING SOME BEANS,
19
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:14,833
SO THE OTHERS
WILL LIKE YOU.
20
00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:23,491
HERE'S DESSERT.
21
00:02:23,559 --> 00:02:25,560
OH. THANKS.
22
00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:27,194
HERE YOU GUYS GO.
23
00:02:27,262 --> 00:02:29,964
FRUIT?
THAT'S IT?
24
00:02:30,032 --> 00:02:31,082
THAT'S IT.
25
00:02:31,149 --> 00:02:32,050
I GOTTA TELL YOU-
26
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:33,552
I'M PRETTY CLOSE
TO CRYING.
27
00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:38,322
I AM SO JEALOUS THAT YOU
GUYS ARE GOING TO BERMUDA.
28
00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:40,525
AND THE BEST PART? THE RESORT
WAS RUNNING THIS BIG PROMOTION.
29
00:02:40,592 --> 00:02:41,893
WE GOT A SICK DEAL.
30
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,729
YEAH? WELL, IF YOU WANT TO
BRING ME BACK A SOUVENIR,
31
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,365
THIS CABANA BOY
WOULD BE JUST FINE.
32
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:49,083
HEY, DEAC, CAN YOU HELP ME
WITH THE COFFEE?
33
00:02:49,151 --> 00:02:49,951
OH, YEAH.
34
00:02:51,203 --> 00:02:52,904
OH, AND BY THE WAY-
THANKS AGAIN, GUYS,
35
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,238
FOR TAKING MAJOR
FOR THE WEEKEND.
36
00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:55,406
NO PROBLEM.
37
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:03,231
I'M SORRY...
38
00:03:03,299 --> 00:03:05,533
WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?
39
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:09,136
OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU-WE'RE
WATCHING MAJOR THIS WEEKEND.
40
00:03:09,204 --> 00:03:10,421
OW!
41
00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:13,558
WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING
ON TELLING ME?
44
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,597
OW!
45
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,465
HEY!
46
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,800
OK. THANK YOU.
47
00:03:24,503 --> 00:03:26,304
DOUG, I WORK HARD
ALL WEEK.
48
00:03:26,371 --> 00:03:29,240
THE WEEKEND IS MY TIME.
CARRIE TIME.
49
00:03:29,308 --> 00:03:31,776
I BARELY WANT
TO SPEND IT WITH YOU!
50
00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:33,144
FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL WATCH HIM, OK?
51
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:34,578
YOU WON'T HAVE
TO DO A THING.
52
00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:35,313
OH, YEAH? REALLY?
53
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,681
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT THE TURTLE.
54
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:38,483
OK. FOR
THE LAST TIME, OK?
55
00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:40,485
I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS
ATTACHED TO HIS SHELL.
56
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,256
HEY.
HEY.
57
00:03:45,324 --> 00:03:47,992
SO, THIS DEAL WE GOT-
4 DAY WEEKEND, 700 BUCKS.
58
00:03:48,059 --> 00:03:49,260
4 DAYS?
59
00:03:49,328 --> 00:03:50,628
NOW, THAT IS CRAZY.
60
00:03:50,696 --> 00:03:52,163
HEH.
61
00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:55,834
YOU KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY?
CALLING 4 DAYS A WEEKEND.
62
00:03:57,169 --> 00:03:59,504
'CAUSE WHERE I COME FROM,
THAT'S, LIKE, A WEEK.
63
00:03:59,571 --> 00:04:01,840
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
THAT'S A LONG TIME.
64
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:02,556
THAT'S WHAT I'M-
AHH, GOD!
65
00:04:02,624 --> 00:04:03,808
SHE STILL
MAKES ME LAUGH.
66
00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:05,643
SHE MAKES ME LAUGH.
67
00:04:07,579 --> 00:04:09,013
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT OF BED, LITTLE MAN?
68
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:10,715
I WANT YOU TO
READ ME A STORY.
69
00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:12,049
OH, BUDDY, WE HAVE
COMPANY OVER.
70
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:13,317
I'LL READ TO YOU
TOMORROW NIGHT.
71
00:04:13,385 --> 00:04:15,186
HEY, YOU WANT YOUR UNCLE
DOUG TO READ YOU A STORY?
72
00:04:15,253 --> 00:04:16,654
YEAH!
73
00:04:16,722 --> 00:04:17,772
DOUG, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.
74
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,123
I KNOW
I DON'T HAVE TO.
75
00:04:19,191 --> 00:04:20,525
I WANT TO.
76
00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:23,043
COME ON, BUDDY.
77
00:04:23,111 --> 00:04:25,613
WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOU
GUYS TAKING MAJOR. YEAH.
78
00:04:25,681 --> 00:04:28,115
OH! WELL, GOOD LUCK
GETTING HIM BACK.
79
00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:35,340
AHH! THANK YOU
FOR THE RIDE, DANIEL.
80
00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:36,874
NAH, NO PROBLEM.
81
00:04:36,942 --> 00:04:38,175
OH, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
82
00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,711
SINCE LAST MONTH, I'VE
BEEN GOING TO THE CITY
83
00:04:39,778 --> 00:04:41,646
EVERY TUESDAY. UH...
84
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,549
I'M SEEING
A- UH, THERAPIST.
85
00:04:46,918 --> 00:04:47,652
YEAH, WELL, I'M NOT-
86
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:48,903
I'M NOT CRAZY OR
ANYTHING. YOU KNOW.
87
00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,372
I MEAN-HEH. I JUST HAVE
SOME ISSUES TO WORK OUT.
88
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,840
YOU KNOW.
BUT DO ME A FAVOR.
89
00:04:52,908 --> 00:04:55,142
DON'T MENTION ANYTHING TO
DOUG, ALL RIGHT? I'M JUST-
90
00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:56,477
NOT THAT I'M ASHAMED
OF IT, YOU KNOW.
91
00:04:56,545 --> 00:04:58,696
I ACTUALLY FEEL
REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT.
92
00:04:58,764 --> 00:05:01,165
REALLY GOOD.
93
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:03,501
PERHAPS YOU COULD HAVE
YOUR THERAPIST WORK ON
94
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,220
MAKING YOU LESS
OF A DULLARD.
95
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,141
WOW. WE ARE MAKING
GREAT TIME.
96
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,143
WE'RE GONNA BE IN THE
CITY IN, LIKE, 5 MINUTES.
97
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:13,911
WE ARE WHIZZING ALONG,
AREN'T WE?
98
00:05:13,979 --> 00:05:17,148
YEAH, THANKS TO YOU, I
CAN USE THE CARPOOL LANE.
99
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:18,599
HA! YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?
100
00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:20,534
YOU SHOULD RENT YOURSELF
OUT TO SINGLE DRIVERS.
101
00:05:20,602 --> 00:05:22,170
I BET YOU'D MAKE
SOME GREAT MONEY.
102
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,338
YES! I BET
I COULD!
103
00:05:26,091 --> 00:05:27,725
I BET I COULD.
104
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:36,701
"BUT JIMMY SOON LEARNED
THIS WAS NO ORDINARY PEN.
105
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,569
"THIS WAS A MAGICAL PEN.
106
00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:41,740
"IF HE DREW A SNOWMAN
WITH IT, SHAZAM!
107
00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:43,441
"THERE WAS A SNOWMAN-"
108
00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:45,592
"RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF HIS ROOM."
109
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:48,963
"RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF HIS ROOM." YES.
110
00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:51,899
"IF HE DREW A CASTLE
WITH IT, PRESTO!"
111
00:05:51,917 --> 00:05:54,619
"THERE'S A CASTLE,
AND HE WAS THE KING!"
112
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:56,821
YOU KNOW THIS STORY
PRETTY WELL, HUH?
113
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:58,123
I KNOW IT BY HEART.
114
00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:00,341
OH, OK.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
115
00:06:00,409 --> 00:06:01,976
AHEM.
116
00:06:02,044 --> 00:06:05,380
"AND BEST OF ALL, ONE NIGHT,
WHEN JIMMY COULDN'T SLEEP,
117
00:06:05,447 --> 00:06:07,114
"THE MAGICAL PEN-"
118
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:10,985
"DREW BIG, FLUFFY SHEETS
FOR JIM AND THE CLOWN."
119
00:06:11,053 --> 00:06:14,305
UH, ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT
WHAT IT SAYS HERE AT ALL.
120
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:16,107
IT SAYS, UH...
121
00:06:16,174 --> 00:06:19,727
"THE MAGICAL PEN GRABBED
ITS STOMACH AND THREW UP."
122
00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:26,166
"AND HE THREW UP A BIG,
GIANT LOBSTER MAN
123
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,470
"WITH GIANT CLAWS
124
00:06:29,538 --> 00:06:31,656
"BUT WITH
REGULAR PEOPLE FEET."
125
00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:37,295
"AND-AND THEN HE STARTED
GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER
126
00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:39,631
"TO JIMMY'S BED, AND JIMMY
SCREAMED, 'OH, NO, NO!
127
00:06:39,698 --> 00:06:41,766
"'PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME!
NO, PLEASE!'
128
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:44,869
"AND THE LOBSTER MAN SAID,
'I'M GONNA SNAP YOUR NECK
129
00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:46,638
'AND EAT YOU,
130
00:06:46,705 --> 00:06:50,641
"'AND YOUR FAMILY WILL
NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!'"
131
00:06:53,612 --> 00:06:55,513
"AND-AND THEN-
132
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,749
"EVERYBODY JUST
STARTED LAUGHING."
133
00:07:00,302 --> 00:07:01,802
NO, 'CAUSE IT WAS ALL
- IT WAS JUST ALL A BIG GOOF.
134
00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:04,572
IT WAS ALL A GOOF,
YOU KNOW?
135
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,257
AND THEN,
LOBSTER MAN SAID,
136
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,026
"HEY, EVERYBODY,
LET'S DANCE!"
137
00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:11,762
AND THEN-AND EVERYBODY, THEY
ALL GRABBED JIMMY AND THEY-
138
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,065
THEY THREW HIM UP
ON A CHAIR.
139
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:18,753
YOU KNOW, LIKE AT
A BAR MITZVAH. AND-
140
00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:20,871
AND HE'S NOT EVEN
JEWISH, SO THAT SHOWS YOU
141
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:23,541
HOW MUCH THEY LIKE JIMMY,
YOU KNOW, RIGHT THERE.
142
00:07:23,608 --> 00:07:24,842
THE END!
143
00:07:27,179 --> 00:07:30,314
OK. YOU GOOD? YOU LOOK
GOOD. ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.
144
00:07:30,382 --> 00:07:31,382
GOOD NIGHT.
145
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,438
NO, KELLY,
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
146
00:07:37,505 --> 00:07:40,007
I MEAN, YOU HAVE
TO DO WHAT'S BEST.
147
00:07:40,075 --> 00:07:42,643
OH, WE WOULD'VE LOVED TO HAVE THE
LITTLE GUY HERE FOR THE WEEKEND,
148
00:07:42,710 --> 00:07:45,146
BUT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO
STAY HERE, HE SHOULDN'T.
149
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,784
ALL RIGHT. I'LL TALK
TO YOU SOON, HONEY.
150
00:07:49,851 --> 00:07:51,619
BYE-BYE.
151
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:53,721
GIVE MAMA
SOME SUGAR, BABY.
152
00:07:55,957 --> 00:07:57,007
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
153
00:07:57,075 --> 00:07:58,676
WE'RE NOT GETTING MAJOR
FOR THE WEEKEND.
154
00:07:58,744 --> 00:07:59,827
WHAT?
YEP.
155
00:07:59,895 --> 00:08:01,162
THEY'RE DUMPING HIM
SOMEWHERE ELSE
156
00:08:01,229 --> 00:08:05,032
BECAUSE YOU SCARED THE CRAP
OUT OF THAT KID LAST NIGHT.
157
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,651
DID YOU-DID YOU
DO THAT FOR ME, BABY?
158
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:09,420
BECAUSE IF YOU DID, I-
159
00:08:09,487 --> 00:08:11,088
ONE SECOND.
160
00:08:12,424 --> 00:08:14,808
HE-HE'S STILL SCARED
FROM MY STORY?
161
00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:16,677
YEAH. WHAT'D YOU SAY
TO HIM, ANYWAY?
162
00:08:16,745 --> 00:08:19,597
I MEAN, KELLY SAID HE MADE
THEM THROW OUT ALL THEIR PENS.
163
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,749
TOLD A LITTLE STORY
ABOUT A MAGICAL PEN
164
00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:26,087
THAT THROWS UP A HALF-MAN
LOBSTER THAT EATS LITTLE BOYS.
165
00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:28,990
WELL, THAT'S CREEPY.
166
00:08:29,057 --> 00:08:31,375
OK, A BIG, BAD WOLF CAN EAT A
GRANDMA, BUT I'M OUT OF LINE.
167
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:33,711
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON. CALM DOWN. ANYWAY,
168
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:36,163
KELLY SAID MAJOR IS DOING
BETTER NOW. IT'S ALL FINE.
169
00:08:36,231 --> 00:08:38,882
IT'S NOT FINE. OK?
I TERRIFIED A CHILD-
170
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,185
MY GODSON-
SO MUCH THAT HE-
171
00:08:41,253 --> 00:08:43,387
HE WOULDN'T EVEN
SET FOOT IN MY HOUSE.
172
00:08:43,455 --> 00:08:45,556
I KNOW! GIVE MAMA
SOME SUGAR! COME ON!
173
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:47,024
WILL YOU STOP IT?!
174
00:08:47,092 --> 00:08:50,094
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I
MEAN, KIDS LIKE ME. YOU KNOW?
175
00:08:50,161 --> 00:08:52,997
THEY RUN TO ME.
THEY CLIMB ON ME.
176
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:55,165
YOU THINK I STAYED
THIS SIZE FOR MYSELF?
177
00:08:56,935 --> 00:08:58,202
THIS IS FOR THE CHILDREN.
178
00:09:04,342 --> 00:09:06,894
THIS CARPOOL LANE
IS MARVELOUS, ISN'T IT?
179
00:09:06,962 --> 00:09:08,595
YEAH, I'M GLAD
I SAW YOUR AD.
180
00:09:08,664 --> 00:09:09,864
BY THE WAY,
181
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:12,466
MY SERVICE
ALSO INCLUDES CHITCHAT.
182
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:14,652
HOWEVER, IF YOU WANNA TALK
POLITICS, I SHOULD WARN YOU.
183
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:17,154
I HAVE SOME
VERY STRONG OPINIONS.
184
00:09:17,222 --> 00:09:19,857
THAT'S OK.
I KINDA LIKE IT QUIET.
185
00:09:19,925 --> 00:09:24,095
HURTFUL MESSAGE RECEIVED.
186
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:26,313
EXCUSE ME.
187
00:09:26,381 --> 00:09:29,116
SHOTGUN ARTIE'S,
WE GET YOU THERE QUICKER.
188
00:09:30,185 --> 00:09:34,088
THE AIRPORT AT 3:00?
HMM. HOLD ON.
189
00:09:34,155 --> 00:09:35,523
I'VE ALREADY
GOT A PICKUP THEN,
190
00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:37,074
BUT I DON'T WANNA MISS
AN AIRPORT FARE.
191
00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:38,526
WHAT SHOULD I DO HERE,
CAL, HUH?
192
00:09:38,593 --> 00:09:41,229
UM, I'M NOT
REALLY SURE.
193
00:09:41,296 --> 00:09:43,814
COULD YOU PUT
YOUR SHOES BACK ON?
194
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:46,651
DON'T YOU WORRY.
195
00:09:46,718 --> 00:09:49,520
SOMEBODY WILL BE THERE.
196
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:52,306
WHO WANTS TO MAKE
SOME EASY MONEY? HMM?
197
00:10:02,217 --> 00:10:04,268
HEY.
OH.
198
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,654
WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?
199
00:10:07,722 --> 00:10:08,889
UH, I JUST WANTED TO
GIVE YOU BACK YOUR, UH,
200
00:10:08,957 --> 00:10:11,391
EARTH, WIND AND FIRE CD.
201
00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:12,677
YOU'VE HAD IT FOR 2 YEARS.
202
00:10:14,245 --> 00:10:16,013
BEST 2 YEARS OF MY LIFE.
203
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:18,949
HEY, IS,
UH, MAJOR AROUND?
204
00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:20,684
MAYBE... WHY?
205
00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:22,986
JUST WANNA SAY HELLO TO
THE LITTLE GUY, THAT'S ALL.
206
00:10:23,054 --> 00:10:24,705
NO, YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
207
00:10:24,773 --> 00:10:25,573
OH, MAN,
I'M HIS GODFATHER.
208
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:26,957
I JUST WANNA
SAY HELLO TO-
209
00:10:27,025 --> 00:10:28,025
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD
THAT DAMN STORY
210
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:29,326
ABOUT A KILLER LOBSTER.
211
00:10:29,394 --> 00:10:31,445
OK, IT WAS
A LOBSTER-MAN,
212
00:10:31,513 --> 00:10:33,447
HALF MAN,
HALF LOBSTER.
213
00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:36,700
KILLER LOBSTER.
WHERE'S YOUR HEAD?
214
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:38,569
HEY, THERE HE-HEY,
215
00:10:38,636 --> 00:10:39,837
MAJOR DEACON EXPRESSWAY.
WHAT'S UP?
216
00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:41,305
HOW YOU DOING THERE,
BUDDY?
217
00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:43,124
OK.
218
00:10:43,191 --> 00:10:45,743
SO YOUR DAD TELLS ME THE STORY
I TOLD YOU THE OTHER NIGHT
219
00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:47,311
KINDA SCARED YOU
A LITTLE, HUH?
220
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:48,662
UH-HUH.
221
00:10:49,931 --> 00:10:53,100
AHEM. YOU KNOW, UH,
IT WAS IN THE PAPER TODAY
222
00:10:53,168 --> 00:10:57,171
THAT LOBSTER-MAN GOT CAUGHT
AND HE'S IN JAIL.
223
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,806
SO NOW YOU CAN COME TO UNCLE
DOUG AND AUNT CARRIE'S HOUSE.
224
00:10:59,874 --> 00:11:02,026
NO! LOBSTER-MAN
WILL GET ME!
225
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:04,878
OK, GOTTA PAY ATTENTION
HERE, BUD, OK?
226
00:11:06,664 --> 00:11:08,332
JUST SAID A SECOND AGO
THEY CAUGHT HIM.
227
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,867
HE'S IN JAIL.
SO HE CAN'T GET YOU.
228
00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:11,218
I DON'T WANNA STAY
WITH YOU!
229
00:11:11,286 --> 00:11:13,220
YOU'LL TELL 'EM
THAT STUPID STORY AGAIN.
230
00:11:13,288 --> 00:11:15,923
UM, FOR
YOUR INFORMATION,
231
00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:19,760
MOST KIDS LOVE
THAT STUPID STORY. SO...
232
00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:21,728
MAYBE THE PROBLEM'S NOT WITH
THE STORY. MAYBE IT'S WITH YOU.
233
00:11:21,797 --> 00:11:22,913
ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
234
00:11:22,981 --> 00:11:23,881
UNCLE DOUG'S
GOTTA GO NOW.
235
00:11:23,948 --> 00:11:25,148
AW, MAN. IT'S OK.
HE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS.
236
00:11:25,216 --> 00:11:26,250
NO, HE DOESN'T!
YES, HE DOES!
237
00:11:26,317 --> 00:11:28,001
YOU'RE SCARY!
I'M NOT SCARY!
238
00:11:28,069 --> 00:11:30,004
I'M YOUR GODFATHER, OK?
I DON'T CARE!
239
00:11:30,071 --> 00:11:32,090
OK, WELL, YOU'RE GONNA CARE WHEN
SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENS TO YOUR PARENTS
240
00:11:32,157 --> 00:11:33,457
AND I'M ALL YOU GOT!
241
00:11:34,492 --> 00:11:36,193
DADDY!
NO, DADDY'S GONNA BE FINE.
242
00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:37,962
GET OUT.
243
00:11:39,814 --> 00:11:41,982
BYE, BUDDY.
LOVE YOU, MAN!
244
00:11:50,958 --> 00:11:53,010
MR. JENKINS
WILL PICK YOU UP
245
00:11:53,077 --> 00:11:55,513
ON THE CORNER OF
NORTHERN AND THIRD.
246
00:11:58,099 --> 00:11:59,316
INCIDENTALLY,
HE SOUNDED
247
00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:03,220
A LITTLE SKETCHY ON THE PHONE,
SO KEEP THE DOOR UNLOCKED.
248
00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:06,023
HERE YOU GO, ARTHUR.
249
00:12:06,091 --> 00:12:08,092
THIS IS FOR
THE BROOKLYN RUN.
250
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,144
OH, THANK YOU, FLORA.
251
00:12:10,212 --> 00:12:14,448
I HAVE A CLIENT GOING TO
YONKERS, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.
252
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:15,649
OOH, YONKERS.
253
00:12:15,717 --> 00:12:17,485
OH, HOW DELIGHTFUL.
254
00:12:19,671 --> 00:12:21,138
BY THE BY,
255
00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:24,125
IT WOULDN'T HURT BUSINESS
IF YOU POPPED ANOTHER BUTTON.
256
00:12:28,079 --> 00:12:29,480
OOH.
257
00:12:32,717 --> 00:12:34,217
AND NOW, MAJOR
IS SO FREAKED OUT
258
00:12:34,285 --> 00:12:36,019
THAT SOMETHING COULD
HAPPEN TO ME OR DEACON,
259
00:12:36,087 --> 00:12:38,656
ONLY ONE OF US CAN LEAVE
THE APARTMENT AT A TIME.
260
00:12:38,723 --> 00:12:41,375
I'M SO SORRY.
261
00:12:41,443 --> 00:12:43,293
NO OFFENSE, BUT YOUR HUSBAND'S AN IDIOT.
262
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,399
BELIEVE ME, IF HIS JOB
DIDN'T HAVE DENTAL,
263
00:12:48,466 --> 00:12:51,135
I WOULD'VE BEEN OUT THAT
DOOR A LONG TIME AGO.
264
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,855
AND OUR TRIP
WAS NON-REFUNDABLE.
265
00:12:54,923 --> 00:12:56,189
WE'RE OUT 700 BUCKS.
266
00:12:56,258 --> 00:12:58,492
UNLESS WE CAN FIND SOMEBODY
TO TAKE IT OFF OUR HANDS.
267
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,533
YOU ARE ON FIRE!
268
00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:07,885
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
269
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,904
YOU SCARED THAT KID
SO BAD LAST NIGHT
270
00:13:09,971 --> 00:13:13,106
THAT DEACON AND KELLY
AREN'T GOING ON THEIR TRIP.
271
00:13:13,174 --> 00:13:14,758
BUT GUESS WHO IS?
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT-
272
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:18,328
IT RHYMES
WITH SHMU AND SHMEE.
273
00:13:18,396 --> 00:13:21,014
WHOA! WE'RE NOT TAKING
THAT TRIP. I'M SORRY.
274
00:13:21,082 --> 00:13:22,132
NO, REALLY?
275
00:13:23,351 --> 00:13:25,285
THAT'S NOT
WHAT THESE TICKETS SAY.
276
00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:28,155
CARRIE, WE'RE NOT GOING.
WE'RE NOT GOING.
277
00:13:28,222 --> 00:13:31,875
DOUG, WE HAVE TO, HONEY,
FOR DEACON AND KELLY.
278
00:13:31,943 --> 00:13:33,911
OTHERWISE, THEY'RE GONNA
LOSE ALL THIS MONEY.
279
00:13:33,978 --> 00:13:36,813
THE TRIP IS
A PREPAID THING.
280
00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:37,998
OK. YOU KNOW
WHAT ELSE IS PREPAID?
281
00:13:38,065 --> 00:13:40,167
YOUR TICKET TO HELL,
'CAUSE YOU'RE A DEVIL WOMAN.
282
00:13:42,153 --> 00:13:45,706
WELL, IF BY HELL, YOU
MEAN BERMUDA, THEN...
283
00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:50,243
NO, I GOTTA GO OVER THERE
AND MAKE THIS RIGHT.
284
00:13:50,312 --> 00:13:52,613
WHAT? DOUG, NO. STOP.
285
00:13:52,681 --> 00:13:53,948
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
I'LL ADMIT,
286
00:13:54,016 --> 00:13:56,316
THE MORE YOU TORTURE THE KID,
THE BETTER THINGS GET FOR ME,
287
00:13:56,384 --> 00:13:59,553
BUT NOW I'M REALLY
THINKING OF MAJOR.
288
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,055
YEAH, RIGHT.
I AM.
289
00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:02,556
DO YOU REALLY THINK GOING
OVER THERE FOR A THIRD TIME
290
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,525
IS REALLY GONNA
MAKE THINGS BETTER?
291
00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:07,061
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE, YEAH.
292
00:14:07,129 --> 00:14:08,596
HONEY, LISTEN TO ME, OK?
293
00:14:08,663 --> 00:14:10,114
MAJOR LOVES YOU.
294
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,199
BUT HE NEEDS A LITTLE
SPACE FROM YOU RIGHT NOW,
295
00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:13,667
A LITTLE TIME
296
00:14:13,735 --> 00:14:15,436
TO FORGET ABOUT ALL
THE SCARY STUFF YOU DID
297
00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:18,905
AND REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD TIMES
YOU GUYS HAVE HAD TOGETHER.
298
00:14:18,973 --> 00:14:19,924
HE NEVER REMEMBERS THOSE.
299
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:21,625
I KNOW, I KNOW.
300
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,894
I'M GONNA RUN SOME ERRANDS.
YOU GO TO THE DRY CLEANERS.
301
00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:25,329
AND WHEN YOU GET BACK,
302
00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:27,464
YOU CAN HAVE
A SCOOTER PIE.
303
00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:28,649
YEAH?
304
00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:30,651
I HAD ONE ALREADY,
BUT I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ONE.
305
00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:38,559
SIR, I ASSURE YOU
I HAD NO IDEA
306
00:14:38,626 --> 00:14:40,561
JOEL SUFFERED
FROM MOTION SICKNESS
307
00:14:40,628 --> 00:14:43,597
WHEN HE WAS HIRED
AT SHOTGUN ARTIE'S.
308
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:46,266
FINE. WE'LL PAY
FOR YOUR CAR TO BE CLEANED.
309
00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:50,571
ARTHUR? THE CHECK
YOU WROTE ME BOUNCED.
310
00:14:50,638 --> 00:14:52,472
AS DID MINE.
311
00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,908
YOU KNOW HE'S PAYING US A LOUSY $10
312
00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:56,777
AND KEEPING 20
FOR HIMSELF?
313
00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:58,579
THAT'S AN OUTRAGEOUS LIE.
314
00:14:58,647 --> 00:14:59,813
I SAW THE BOOKS.
315
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:01,716
THAT'S PRIVATE, AND
YOU'RE FIRED. NOW, BEAT IT.
316
00:15:01,783 --> 00:15:06,103
ARTHUR, YOU HAVE ME GOING ALL
THE WAY OUT TO PHILADELPHIA,
317
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,455
BUT HOW AM I GOING
TO GET BACK?
318
00:15:08,523 --> 00:15:10,257
YOU HAVE A THUMB,
DON'T YOU?
319
00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:12,359
I'M A WOMAN.
320
00:15:12,427 --> 00:15:14,995
I CAN'T BE OUT THERE
ALONE AT NIGHT.
321
00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:18,649
TRUST ME
- NOBODY'S BUYING WHAT YOU'RE SELLING.
322
00:15:18,716 --> 00:15:19,599
OH!
323
00:15:20,835 --> 00:15:23,571
THESE WORK CONDITIONS
ARE TERRIBLE.
324
00:15:23,638 --> 00:15:25,038
I SAY WE FORM A UNION.
325
00:15:25,106 --> 00:15:26,440
YEAH!
326
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,741
YOU SHOULD FORM
A UNION-
327
00:15:27,809 --> 00:15:29,643
A UNION OF INGRATES!
328
00:15:37,151 --> 00:15:39,687
AND YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T TELL
HIM HIS PARENTS WILL DIE.
329
00:15:39,754 --> 00:15:41,822
I SAID IF THEY DIE.
330
00:15:41,890 --> 00:15:44,058
YOU KNOW, HE'S THE ONE WHO
SAW THE GLASS HALF EMPTY.
331
00:15:44,126 --> 00:15:46,493
WELL, YOU KNOW, STUFF
LIKE THAT MAY SEEM SMALL,
332
00:15:46,561 --> 00:15:48,762
BUT IT COULD TRAUMATIZE
PEOPLE FOR YEARS.
333
00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:50,464
FOR YEARS.
YOU'RE CRAZY.
334
00:15:50,531 --> 00:15:51,832
EXCUSE ME?
335
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,751
I'M NOT CRAZY, OK?
336
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:55,386
I MEAN, YOU MAY NOT LIKE
WHAT I HAVE TO SAY,
337
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,688
BUT THAT DOESN'T
MATTER ANYMORE.
338
00:15:57,756 --> 00:15:59,190
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
339
00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:02,726
BECAUSE I'VE LEARNED
FROM MY THERAPIST
340
00:16:02,794 --> 00:16:06,063
THAT THE ONLY OPINION
THAT MATTERS IS MINE.
341
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,848
YEAH. ALL THESE YEARS,
I TRIED PLEASING
342
00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:10,451
MY FATHER,
MY TEACHERS, THE I.R.S.
343
00:16:10,518 --> 00:16:12,186
WELL, THAT'S OVER, OK?
344
00:16:12,254 --> 00:16:13,921
FROM NOW ON, IT'S ALL
ABOUT ME, ALL RIGHT?
345
00:16:13,989 --> 00:16:16,289
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN 41 YEARS,
346
00:16:16,357 --> 00:16:18,909
DANNY HEFFERNAN IS
A VERY HAPPY GUY.
347
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:20,560
YOU SEEM IT.
348
00:16:20,628 --> 00:16:22,229
I'LL BE IN THE CAR!
349
00:16:24,599 --> 00:16:27,101
ANOTHER PARTY TOMORROW,
MR. BIPPY?
350
00:16:27,168 --> 00:16:30,404
YEP. KIDS LOVE CLOWNS.
351
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,148
HEY, BABE.
352
00:16:41,215 --> 00:16:42,315
WHAT THE-
353
00:16:47,138 --> 00:16:48,889
OH, MY GOD.
354
00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:57,798
YOU HAVE ME GOING ALL
THE WAY TO PHILADELPHIA.
355
00:16:57,866 --> 00:16:59,933
BUT HOW WILL I GET BACK?
356
00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:02,035
HOW WILL I GET BACK?
357
00:17:02,103 --> 00:17:05,372
ARTHUR, THE CHECK
YOU WROTE ME BOUNCED.
358
00:17:05,439 --> 00:17:06,373
I SAY
WE FORM A UNION.
359
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,875
I SAY WE ROUGH HIM UP.
360
00:17:09,243 --> 00:17:11,561
LIFE WAS SO MUCH
SIMPLER LAST WEEK
361
00:17:11,629 --> 00:17:14,664
WHEN IT WAS JUST ME,
A STRANGER...
362
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,434
AND THE OPEN ROAD.
363
00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,706
YOU GOING TO
THE EXPRESSWAY?
364
00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,958
UH, YEAH.
365
00:17:27,912 --> 00:17:31,165
HEY!
366
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:32,349
DON'T WORRY.
367
00:17:32,416 --> 00:17:34,351
I'M DOING THIS ONE
FOR FREE.
368
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:46,297
HELLO?
369
00:17:46,431 --> 00:17:48,282
HELLO. SORRY TO
BOTHER YOU THERE.
370
00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:49,683
I JUST MOVED
INTO THE BUILDING
371
00:17:49,751 --> 00:17:53,120
AND CAN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER
THE BLOODY ENTRY CODE.
372
00:17:53,188 --> 00:17:56,023
OH! WELL, WELCOME TO THE
BUILDING. UH, WHAT UNIT ARE YOU IN?
373
00:17:56,091 --> 00:17:57,691
OH, I'M IN 3-G.
374
00:17:57,759 --> 00:18:00,394
THE RANDALLS LIVE
IN 3-G.
375
00:18:00,461 --> 00:18:03,163
I'M SORRY, THAT'S 3-E.
376
00:18:03,231 --> 00:18:06,333
THAT'S "E"
AS IN ENTENMANN'S.
377
00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:09,136
DOUG.
378
00:18:09,204 --> 00:18:10,303
DEAC, COME ON,
LET ME IN!
379
00:18:10,371 --> 00:18:11,739
DOUG, GO HOME.
380
00:18:11,806 --> 00:18:13,640
COME ON, I GOT A COOL
SURPRISE FOR MAJOR!
381
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:15,642
LEAVE MY KID ALONE!
DAMN!
382
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:40,167
OOF!
383
00:18:51,246 --> 00:18:53,631
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?!
384
00:18:53,698 --> 00:18:55,582
WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!
385
00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:03,307
LISTEN, RONALD McDONALD.
386
00:19:03,374 --> 00:19:05,542
YOU ARE NOT SCREWING UP
THIS VACATION FOR ME,
387
00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:07,077
SO GET BACK DOWN HERE.
388
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:08,646
NO!
389
00:19:14,468 --> 00:19:16,820
DAMN THESE GIGANTIC SHOES!
390
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:21,224
DOUG, THIS
IS RIDICULOUS!
391
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:22,193
NO! I KNOW I CAN
MAKE THIS RIGHT.
392
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:24,428
DOUG, STOP!
393
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:25,462
STOP.
394
00:19:27,098 --> 00:19:29,900
BABY, YOU GOTTA LET
THIS THING GO.
395
00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:32,269
NOT FOR ME,
NOT FOR THE TRIP,
396
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,804
BUT FOR MAJOR.
397
00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:38,241
FINE.
GOOD, GOOD.
398
00:19:38,309 --> 00:19:40,911
NOW, COME ON, HONEY.
LET'S GO HOME.
399
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,834
YOU ARE SO DEAD!
400
00:20:21,669 --> 00:20:23,754
SORRY I WAS
STARTLED AT FIRST.
401
00:20:23,821 --> 00:20:24,888
WHEN YOU GOT THE CAR,
I THOUGHT YOU HAD
402
00:20:24,955 --> 00:20:27,257
SOMETHING ENTIRELY
DIFFERENT IN MIND.
403
00:20:28,626 --> 00:20:31,078
OH, NO, NO.
404
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:34,415
THAT IS A SERVICE
I DO NOT PROVIDE.
405
00:20:36,718 --> 00:20:39,452
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW,
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,
406
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,039
YOU'D PROBABLY MAKE
A FORTUNE.
407
00:20:42,106 --> 00:20:44,641
AHH. I BET I COULD.
408
00:20:46,728 --> 00:20:49,413
I BET I COULD.
28995
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