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1
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,914
MORNING, DOUGLAS.
2
00:00:33,982 --> 00:00:37,168
WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON THERE,
GREASED LIGHTNING?
3
00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:39,487
IT HAPPENS TO BE
CALLED STYLE.
4
00:00:39,555 --> 00:00:42,957
AS THE ENTERTAINMENT
DIRECTOR AT THE SENIOR CENTER,
5
00:00:43,025 --> 00:00:46,294
IT'S IMPORTANT THAT
I MAINTAIN A CERTAIN IMAGE.
6
00:00:46,361 --> 00:00:48,946
WELL, IF YOU'RE TRYING
FOR THE STUART LITTLE LOOK,
7
00:00:49,014 --> 00:00:51,015
YOU NAILED IT.
8
00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:54,202
I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOUR
LITTLE GIBES GET TO ME, DOUGLAS,
9
00:00:54,269 --> 00:00:58,606
BECAUSE I JUST BOOKED ONE OF
THE GREATEST SINGERS OF ALL TIME-
10
00:00:58,674 --> 00:01:00,841
AVA ST. CLAIR.
11
00:01:00,909 --> 00:01:02,026
WHO?
12
00:01:02,094 --> 00:01:03,377
AVA ST. CLAIR,
13
00:01:03,445 --> 00:01:05,379
THE YOUNGEST OF
THE ST. CLAIR SISTERS!
14
00:01:05,447 --> 00:01:09,350
OH, THE YOUNGEST,
YEAH, NEVER HEARD OF HER.
15
00:01:09,418 --> 00:01:11,536
OF COURSE YOU HAVE.
16
00:01:11,603 --> 00:01:13,071
REMEMBER HER BIG HIT?
17
00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:14,572
MY CANDY STORE'S CLOSED
18
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,074
THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE
19
00:01:20,646 --> 00:01:22,880
STILL NOTHING.
20
00:01:22,948 --> 00:01:27,135
HERMIONE GINGOLD DID A
HILARIOUS PARODY VERSION!
21
00:01:27,203 --> 00:01:28,786
OK, STOP SAYING NAMES
I NEVER HEARD,
22
00:01:28,854 --> 00:01:32,373
AND YOU'RE NOT USING THOSE
BREATH STRIPS I GAVE YOU, ARE YOU?
23
00:01:32,441 --> 00:01:34,826
DEACON, WHAT'S THE FIRST
THING YOU THINK OF
24
00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:38,296
WHEN I SAY,
"LICK MY LOLLIPOP"?
25
00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:41,766
UM...
26
00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:43,034
NO.
27
00:01:45,838 --> 00:01:46,938
HEY, I GRABBED
YOUR MAIL FOR YOU.
28
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,757
OH, THANKS.
29
00:01:52,794 --> 00:01:54,529
WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?
30
00:01:54,597 --> 00:01:55,563
"WE ARE PLEASED
TO INFORM YOU
31
00:01:55,631 --> 00:01:56,864
"THAT YOUR APARTMENT
IN STUYVESANT TOWERS
32
00:01:56,932 --> 00:01:58,099
"HAS BECOME AVAILABLE.
33
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:02,002
YOU HAVE 30 DAYS FROM THE
ABOVE DATE TO RESPOND."
34
00:02:02,070 --> 00:02:03,438
YOU GUYS MOVING
TO MANHATTAN?
35
00:02:03,505 --> 00:02:05,005
NO.
36
00:02:05,073 --> 00:02:08,009
OH, MY GOD.
37
00:02:08,077 --> 00:02:10,612
THIS IS FROM WHEN, LIKE,
WE FIRST GOT MARRIED.
38
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:13,965
YEAH,
IT'S A ONE-BEDROOM,
39
00:02:14,116 --> 00:02:15,283
LAUNDRY'S IN
THE BASEMENT,
40
00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:16,934
AND YOU GET
FULL DOORMAN SERVICE.
41
00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:19,404
LET ME JUST TAKE THIS.
42
00:02:19,471 --> 00:02:21,005
FEEL FREE
TO LOOK AROUND.
43
00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:22,140
THIS IS BURT.
44
00:02:23,442 --> 00:02:24,976
HOW GREAT IS THIS?
45
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,711
AND I THINK IT'S SOME KIND
OF RENT CONTROL-Y THING,
46
00:02:26,778 --> 00:02:29,180
SO WE CAN ACTUALLY
AFFORD IT.
47
00:02:29,248 --> 00:02:30,732
YEAH, IT'S JUST
KINDA SMALL, ISN'T IT?
48
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,433
YES, OF COURSE IT IS.
IT'S MANHATTAN.
49
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:33,601
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
50
00:02:33,669 --> 00:02:36,037
WE'RE RIGHT ACROSS
THE STREET FROM THE PARK.
51
00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:37,438
AND YOU SAID YOU WANTED
TO START TRAINING
52
00:02:37,506 --> 00:02:38,506
FOR YOUR MARATHON, RIGHT?
53
00:02:38,573 --> 00:02:39,707
YEAH, IT'S 3 WEEKS AWAY,
54
00:02:39,775 --> 00:02:41,843
I DON'T WANT
TO PEAK TOO EARLY.
55
00:02:41,910 --> 00:02:42,843
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
THEY DO IN THE PARK?
56
00:02:42,911 --> 00:02:45,446
THEY HAVE THIS WHOLE
SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL.
57
00:02:45,514 --> 00:02:47,131
I MEAN, WE COULD WATCH IT
FROM OUR WINDOW!
58
00:02:47,199 --> 00:02:49,083
CARRIE, YOU KNOW ME,
I'M ALL OVER SHAKESPEARE,
59
00:02:49,151 --> 00:02:50,852
BUT WOULDN'T IT BE
MORE PRACTICAL
60
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,620
TO GET A PLACE
OUT IN QUEENS?
61
00:02:52,688 --> 00:02:55,122
THIS WAY WE HAVE A HOUSE,
WE GOT OUR YARD.
62
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:56,207
YOU KNOW, WE'LL BE
NEAR OUR FRIENDS.
63
00:02:56,275 --> 00:02:57,576
WE CAN GET A DOG WITH,
LIKE, HALF A TAIL.
64
00:02:57,643 --> 00:02:59,410
I ALWAYS FEEL BAD
FOR THOSE GUYS.
65
00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:01,429
COME ON, LET'S GO
CHECK OUT THE BEDROOM.
66
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:06,885
MAN, SHE'S REALLY GOT A
THING FOR LIVING IN THE CITY.
67
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,920
WELL, I SHOULD TELL YOU
THIS UNIT'S RENTED,
68
00:03:08,987 --> 00:03:11,723
AND THE WAITING LIST FOR
THIS BUILDING IS PRETTY LONG.
69
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,758
HOW LONG?
70
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:16,261
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
COULD BE 5, 10 YEARS.
71
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,696
WHO KNOWS?
72
00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:19,097
REALLY?
73
00:03:24,052 --> 00:03:25,770
SO, YOU REALLY
WANT THIS, HUH?
74
00:03:25,837 --> 00:03:30,225
YEAH, IT'S ALWAYS
BEEN MY DREAM.
75
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:34,229
WELL, THEN I SAY
WE DO IT.
76
00:03:34,296 --> 00:03:36,530
REALLY? YOU WOULD
DO THIS FOR ME?
77
00:03:36,598 --> 00:03:39,117
CARRIE,
YOU'RE MY WIFE NOW.
78
00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:43,288
SO, THAT MEANS
YOUR DREAM IS MY DREAM.
79
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:48,910
GOD, MY DAD WAS
SO WRONG ABOUT YOU.
80
00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:53,848
SO, BASICALLY, YOU LIED TO
THE PERSON YOU LOVE MOST.
81
00:03:53,916 --> 00:03:58,586
AND GOT REWARDED. WE
WENT TO K.F.C. THAT NIGHT.
82
00:04:01,123 --> 00:04:02,373
GOD, THAT'S CARRIE.
83
00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:04,142
I'D BETTER NOT
LET HER SEE THIS.
84
00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:05,410
WHY NOT?
85
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,711
BECAUSE SHE NEVER REALLY GOT
OVER THE WHOLE MANHATTAN THING
86
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:08,113
AND I DON'T WANT TO GET HER
ALL REVVED UP AGAIN.
87
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,180
WELL, HOW CAN YOU
DO IT ANYWAYS?
88
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,915
IT'S A ONE BEDROOM
AND YOU GOT ARTHUR.
89
00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:13,718
OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
90
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:16,754
I FORGOT ABOUT
THE CRAZY OLD MAN.
91
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:18,672
YOU KNOW WHAT?
92
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:19,991
I BET YOU
I COULD USE THIS,
93
00:04:20,058 --> 00:04:21,776
GET A LITTLE
EXTRA CREDIT,
94
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,995
AND MAYBE A RETURN TRIP
TO K.F.C.
95
00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:27,448
OH, YOU GOT THE MAIL.
YEAH.
96
00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:29,817
YEAH, IT'S JUST NOTHING
BUT BILLS, BILLS, BILLS,
97
00:04:29,885 --> 00:04:30,885
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
98
00:04:33,088 --> 00:04:34,722
OH, WHAT IS THIS?
99
00:04:36,475 --> 00:04:38,810
STUYVESANT TOWERS?
100
00:04:38,877 --> 00:04:39,944
OH, MY GOSH, CARRIE,
101
00:04:40,012 --> 00:04:40,945
YOU REMEMBER
THAT APARTMENT IN THE CITY
102
00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:42,514
WE SIGNED UP FOR YEARS AGO?
103
00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:43,848
UH-HUH.
104
00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:45,749
WELL, IT'S AVAILABLE.
MAN...
105
00:04:45,817 --> 00:04:46,750
WHAT?
106
00:04:46,818 --> 00:04:49,454
YEAH.
107
00:04:49,521 --> 00:04:51,856
OH, MY GOD, I TOTALLY
FORGOT ABOUT THIS.
108
00:04:51,923 --> 00:04:53,724
YEAH, ME TOO.
109
00:04:55,144 --> 00:04:58,296
YOU DON'T WANT
TO MOVE TO THE CITY, RIGHT?
110
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:01,966
I DON'T KNOW, MAN,
IT IS YOUR DREAM, RIGHT?
111
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:05,236
YEAH.
112
00:05:05,287 --> 00:05:09,190
WELL, LIKE 10 YEARS AGO
I SAID, YOU KNOW,
113
00:05:09,257 --> 00:05:10,858
WHATEVER YOUR DREAM IS,
114
00:05:10,926 --> 00:05:14,662
IS MY DREAM, TOO.
115
00:05:14,729 --> 00:05:16,947
YOU WOULD DO THIS?
116
00:05:17,015 --> 00:05:21,135
LOOK, DO I LOVE LIVING
IN QUEENS? YEAH.
117
00:05:21,203 --> 00:05:24,805
DO I LOVE YOU MORE?
YOU BETCHA.
118
00:05:24,873 --> 00:05:28,609
SO, I'M GOING TO CALL RIGHT
NOW AND RESERVE IT, OK?
119
00:05:28,677 --> 00:05:31,395
I CAN'T THINK
OF ANY REASON WHY NOT.
120
00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:35,650
I MEAN, CAN YOU?
121
00:05:35,717 --> 00:05:37,886
NO!
122
00:05:37,953 --> 00:05:40,521
OK, LET'S DO IT!
123
00:05:40,588 --> 00:05:43,724
I'LL WAIT FOR YOU
IN THE CAR.
124
00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:45,276
AH, LET ME SEE THAT.
125
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,945
I
- I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'RE NOT FORGETTING,
126
00:05:48,013 --> 00:05:49,880
YOU KNOW, SOMETHING OR
127
00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:53,851
SOMEBODY.
128
00:05:53,919 --> 00:05:56,337
OH, MY-MY DAD.
WE CAN'T DO IT.
129
00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:57,705
IT'S A ONE-BEDROOM.
130
00:05:57,772 --> 00:06:00,008
GOD, GUT-PUNCH.
131
00:06:00,075 --> 00:06:04,228
WELL, THAT WAS EXCITING
FOR ABOUT 2 SECONDS.
132
00:06:05,697 --> 00:06:07,665
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
I'LL JUST CALL THEM LATER
133
00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:09,250
AND TELL THEM
TO TAKE US OFF THE LIST.
134
00:06:09,318 --> 00:06:11,352
I'M SO SORRY, BABE.
135
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:12,687
THAT'S OK, YOU TRIED.
136
00:06:12,754 --> 00:06:15,356
I DID TRY.
137
00:06:15,424 --> 00:06:16,157
YOU KNOW WHAT?
138
00:06:16,308 --> 00:06:18,376
TONIGHT, I SAY WE GET
US SOME COMFORT FOOD.
139
00:06:18,443 --> 00:06:21,162
YES!
PICK US UP SOME SUSHI.
140
00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:30,922
I'M SORRY TO DISTURB YOU,
MISS ST. CLAIR,
141
00:06:30,989 --> 00:06:31,923
I JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW
142
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:33,591
WE'RE RUNNING
A FEW MINUTES BEHIND.
143
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:37,311
NOTHING MAJOR. OUR SOUND
MAN'S SUFFERING CHEST PAINS.
144
00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:39,613
WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I'M NOT GOING ON.
145
00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:41,215
WHAT?
146
00:06:41,283 --> 00:06:42,716
BUT WE HAVE
A FULL HOUSE.
147
00:06:42,784 --> 00:06:43,601
SEND THEM HOME.
148
00:06:43,668 --> 00:06:46,870
NOBODY WANTS TO SEE
SOME HORRIBLE, AGING DIVA.
149
00:06:46,938 --> 00:06:49,590
YOU'RE NOT HORRIBLE,
YOU'RE AVA ST. CLAIR!
150
00:06:49,657 --> 00:06:54,729
NO, I'M NOT. I AM ESTHER
LEVINE FROM BROOKLYN.
151
00:06:54,796 --> 00:06:56,764
I DON'T KNOW.
WHO AM I FOOLING?
152
00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:58,099
I SHOULD'VE RETIRED
YEARS AGO,
153
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:01,002
WHEN I COULD STILL
SING WORTH A DAMN.
154
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:06,441
AND WHY DIDN'T I MARRY VIC
DAMONE WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE?
155
00:07:06,508 --> 00:07:09,743
MISS ST. CLAIR, CAN I
TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY?
156
00:07:09,811 --> 00:07:13,197
I DON'T CARE.
157
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:15,833
THE YEAR WAS 1962,
158
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,669
AND MY PENCIL ERASER BUSINESS
HAD JUST GONE BELLY-UP.
159
00:07:18,737 --> 00:07:20,971
PENS HAD BECOME
ALL THE RAGE.
160
00:07:21,039 --> 00:07:22,173
I WAS FLAT BROKE,
161
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,108
MY FIANC�E LEFT ME,
162
00:07:24,176 --> 00:07:25,943
I DIDN'T WANT
TO LIVE ANYMORE.
163
00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:28,762
WELL, YOU'RE STILL HERE,
SO WHAT HAPPENED?
164
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:33,150
I WAS IN HORN AND HARDART'S,
HAVING A CUP OF HOT WATER AND LEMON.
165
00:07:33,218 --> 00:07:37,054
SUDDENLY A SONG
CAME ON THE RADIO.
166
00:07:46,414 --> 00:07:50,100
IT GAVE ME
THE WILL TO GO ON.
167
00:07:50,168 --> 00:07:52,786
WHAT, MY SONG
SAVED YOUR LIFE?
168
00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:54,938
YES, AND I ALSO REALIZED
169
00:07:55,006 --> 00:07:56,940
I COULDN'T OFF MYSELF
IF I WANTED TO,
170
00:07:57,008 --> 00:07:58,476
I'M VERY MUCH A COWARD.
171
00:08:00,362 --> 00:08:01,462
SPOONER,
172
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:04,632
THE CONCESSION STAND IS
ALMOST OUT OF PUDDING.
173
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,969
WE'RE ABOUT 5 MINUTES FROM
THIS PLACE TURNING INTO ATTICA.
174
00:08:10,038 --> 00:08:11,672
WELL, CUE THE BAND!
175
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:14,541
AVA ST. CLAIR IS
IN THE HOUSE!
176
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:25,286
WHOO!
OH, YEAH!
177
00:08:25,354 --> 00:08:26,337
YOU CAN'T STOP ME,
178
00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,289
YOU CAN ONLY HOPE
TO CONTAIN ME!
179
00:08:28,357 --> 00:08:30,674
19-ZIP.
180
00:08:30,742 --> 00:08:32,343
Y- YOU KNOW WHAT?
181
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:35,012
YOU-YOU AND DEACON
VERSUS US ISN'T FAIR, MAN.
182
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,348
YOU DIDN'T HEAR US CRYING WHEN
YOU KICKED OUR ASS AT PICTIONARY.
183
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:40,934
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
184
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,670
AT LEAST GIVE US
AN ASTHMA BREAK.
185
00:08:43,738 --> 00:08:45,256
YOU GOT 40 SECONDS.
186
00:08:51,162 --> 00:08:53,598
SO, WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT
WHOLE, UH, APARTMENT THING?
187
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,933
OH, IT'S DEAD.
188
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,035
THANKS TO ARTHUR, I'M
STAYING RIGHT HERE IN QUEENS.
189
00:08:58,103 --> 00:09:00,304
WHAT? CARRIE WANTS
TO MOVE?
190
00:09:00,371 --> 00:09:01,873
YEAH.
191
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:03,991
I GOT THE SAME PROBLEM
WITH PUDGY.
192
00:09:04,059 --> 00:09:06,961
OK, WOULD SOMEONE
TELL LORD DIPWAD
193
00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,946
THAT BUYING A HOUSE
194
00:09:09,013 --> 00:09:10,748
IS A SOUND
FINANCIAL INVESTMENT?
195
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:12,650
Y
- YOU PAY RENT, YOU'RE JUST THROWING MONEY DOWN A RAT HOLE.
196
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,803
YEAH, W-WELL, SO IS SPENDING
$1,000 ON MASSAGE SCHOOL.
197
00:09:15,871 --> 00:09:18,939
OH, WELL, I DIDN'T HEAR YOUR
FEET COMPLAINING LAST NIGHT.
198
00:09:40,045 --> 00:09:42,012
THANK YOU!
199
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,398
OH, I THINK
THEY LIKED ME,
200
00:09:43,465 --> 00:09:44,949
THEY REALLY LIKED ME.
201
00:09:45,016 --> 00:09:48,753
LIKED YOU? IF THEY HAD THEIR
TEETH IN, THEY'D EAT YOU ALIVE.
202
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:52,823
OH, AND ARTHUR, I COULDN'T
HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.
203
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:54,292
I MEAN IT.
204
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:56,994
YOU WERE THE WIND
BENEATH MY WINGS.
205
00:09:57,061 --> 00:10:01,332
IMAGINE THAT.
I'M AVA ST. CLAIR'S WIND.
206
00:10:01,399 --> 00:10:04,735
YOU KNOW, ARTHUR,
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
207
00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:08,739
FOR SOMEBODY TO, UH, HELP
ME WITH THE REST OF MY TOUR.
208
00:10:08,807 --> 00:10:10,307
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED?
209
00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:11,642
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
210
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:13,344
OH, OBVIOUSLY
I WOULD PAY YOU.
211
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:17,265
NONSENSE! WORKING WITH AVA ST.
CLAIR WOULD BE PAYMENT ENOUGH.
212
00:10:17,332 --> 00:10:18,832
OH, WONDERFUL.
213
00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:21,235
OF COURSE, I'D EXPECT YOU
TO COVER MY TRAVEL EXPENSES.
214
00:10:21,303 --> 00:10:22,370
ABSOLUTELY.
215
00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:24,071
AND I'D NEED A NEW SUIT
216
00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:26,123
AND SOME
WALKING-AROUND MONEY.
217
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:28,809
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT ME TO JUST PAY YOU?
218
00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:31,195
I WILL NOT TAKE A DIME!
219
00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:29,620
OW!
220
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,590
CRAP.
221
00:11:41,749 --> 00:11:43,250
HEY, DAD,
DINNER'S READY.
222
00:11:46,287 --> 00:11:47,722
THAT'LL HAVE TO WAIT.
223
00:11:47,789 --> 00:11:49,223
I'VE GOT BIG NEWS.
224
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,024
IF THIS IS
AN ECZEMA UPDATE,
225
00:11:51,092 --> 00:11:52,426
OK, I'M STILL REELING
FROM LAST WEEK.
226
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:53,861
NO, NO.
227
00:11:53,928 --> 00:11:55,262
I'M GETTING MARRIED.
228
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:58,032
WHAT? TO WHO?
229
00:11:58,099 --> 00:12:00,468
MISS AVA ST. CLAIR.
230
00:12:00,535 --> 00:12:03,237
AFTER HER TOUR, WE'RE
GETTING HITCHED IN TAHOE
231
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:05,772
AND SETTLING IN HER
HOUSE IN ROCKLAND COUNTY.
232
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,108
OK, DAD. YOU'RE NOT
GETTING MARRIED.
233
00:12:08,176 --> 00:12:09,176
LOOK,
234
00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:10,094
I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE
THREATENED BY
235
00:12:10,161 --> 00:12:11,295
ANOTHER WOMAN
IN MY LIFE.
236
00:12:11,362 --> 00:12:14,198
OK, SO, HERE'S WHAT
I NEED YOU TO DO.
237
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:16,100
I NEED YOU TO TAKE A
COUPLE OF YOUR BLUE PILLS,
238
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:19,303
GO DOWNSTAIRS, AND HAVE
YOURSELF A NICE LONG NAP,
239
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,905
AND WE'LL TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER, OK?
240
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,256
I'M A GROWN MAN!
241
00:12:22,323 --> 00:12:24,725
STOP TREATING ME
LIKE A CHILD!
242
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:27,245
WELL, STOP ACTING
LIKE A CHILD, OK?
243
00:12:27,312 --> 00:12:29,914
THERE'S NO WAY I'M LETTING YOU GET
MARRIED TO SOMEBODY YOU JUST MET.
244
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,064
I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE
STAYING RIGHT HERE.
245
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,637
UNLESS...
246
00:12:36,705 --> 00:12:39,390
YOU REALLY,
REALLY LIKE HER.
247
00:12:42,543 --> 00:12:43,878
WE CAN DO IT!
248
00:12:43,945 --> 00:12:44,845
HUH?
249
00:12:44,913 --> 00:12:45,780
WE CAN MOVE TO THE CITY!
250
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:49,049
WHAT ABOUT ARTHUR?
REMEMBER HIM?
251
00:12:49,117 --> 00:12:52,586
OLD GUY, SMELLS LIKE CHEESE,
EVEN WHEN HE HASN'T HAD ANY.
252
00:12:52,654 --> 00:12:54,771
HE'S GETTING MARRIED.
253
00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:55,590
TO WHO?
254
00:12:55,657 --> 00:12:57,308
TO THAT WOMAN WHO SINGS
255
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,610
THAT STUPID
LOLLIPOP SONG.
256
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:01,512
SHE HAS A BIG HOUSE, AND SHE'S
LETTING HIM MOVE IN WITH HER.
257
00:13:01,579 --> 00:13:03,647
I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S LIKE FATE!
258
00:13:03,715 --> 00:13:04,815
CARRIE, WAIT.
259
00:13:04,883 --> 00:13:06,016
HE'S DONE THIS, LIKE,
A MILLION TIMES BEFORE,
260
00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:07,951
HE MOVES OUT AND THEN
HE COMES RIGHT BACK HERE.
261
00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:10,988
HE'S LIKE AN OLD,
WRINKLY BOOMERANG.
262
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,940
NO, IT'S DIFFERENT
THIS TIME, I KNOW IT.
263
00:13:13,008 --> 00:13:14,992
OH, WHY? BECAUSE HE'S
MARRYING A COMPLETE STRANGER?
264
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,227
D- DO YOU EVEN
KNOW HER NAME?
265
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:17,361
OF COURSE
I KNOW HER NAME.
266
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,863
IT'S AVA...
AVA SOMETHING.
267
00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:21,482
OH, THAT'S GOOD DAUGHTERING
RIGHT THERE,
268
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:22,617
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
HER LAST NAME.
269
00:13:22,684 --> 00:13:24,935
I KNOW WHAT IT'S GOING
TO BE. SPOONER.
270
00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:28,972
HA, COME ON, GIVE ME SOME
KNUCKLES ON THAT ONE, BUDDY!
271
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,258
WOULD YOU LISTEN
TO YOURSELF?
272
00:13:31,326 --> 00:13:34,011
OK, LOOK, DOUG, I TALKED
TO HER ON THE PHONE,
273
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:35,913
AND SHE SOUNDS LIKE
A VERY NICE WOMAN.
274
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,665
YOU KNOW, SHE WAS ON
MERV GRIFFIN 53 TIMES?
275
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:40,734
NOW, DO YOU THINK HE'D HAVE
SOMEBODY ON THE SHOW THAT MANY TIMES
276
00:13:40,802 --> 00:13:42,269
IF THEY WERE A BAD PERSON?
277
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,023
NO.
NO, BABY.
278
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,175
COME ON, I KNOW YOU LOVE
LIVING IN QUEENS,
279
00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:49,876
BUT YOU'RE GOING
TO LOVE THE CITY.
280
00:13:49,945 --> 00:13:51,611
IT'S LIKE
A NEW ADVENTURE FOR US.
281
00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:52,712
AND GUESS WHAT?
282
00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:54,514
WITH THE MONEY WE MAKE
ON SELLING THIS HOUSE,
283
00:13:54,582 --> 00:13:56,917
YOU CAN FINALLY
GET YOUR GO-KART.
284
00:13:56,935 --> 00:13:58,202
IT'S ALL
COMING TOGETHER!
285
00:14:01,122 --> 00:14:03,089
OH, I'M GETTING
THAT GO-KART,
286
00:14:03,157 --> 00:14:06,527
BUT WE'RE
NOT MOVING ANYWHERE.
287
00:14:13,134 --> 00:14:14,267
MAY I HELP YOU?
288
00:14:14,336 --> 00:14:17,070
YES, I'M, UH,
HERE TO SEE ARTHUR SPOONER.
289
00:14:17,138 --> 00:14:17,872
OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
MARTA,
290
00:14:17,939 --> 00:14:20,324
HE'S MY SON-IN-LAW.
291
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:23,510
OH, AND, MARTA, COULD YOU
HAVE NILS BRING THE CAR AROUND?
292
00:14:23,578 --> 00:14:26,213
I HAVE A YEN
FOR FROZEN YOGURT.
293
00:14:28,115 --> 00:14:30,083
SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?
294
00:14:30,151 --> 00:14:33,220
HUH, IT'S JUST, EVERYTHING
HAPPENED SORT OF FAST,
295
00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:36,557
AND I JUST WANTED TO MAKE
SURE YOU WERE OK HERE.
296
00:14:36,624 --> 00:14:39,125
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE YOU HAD IT
PRETTY GOOD BACK AT OUR HOUSE.
297
00:14:39,193 --> 00:14:41,712
I LIVED IN
A COLD, WET BASEMENT.
298
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,414
YEAH, BUT WE GOT YOU
THAT SPACE HEATER.
299
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:44,315
WHICH CAUGHT FIRE.
YEAH,
300
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:45,866
BECAUSE YOU DRIED
YOUR SOCKS ON IT!
301
00:14:45,934 --> 00:14:48,052
BECAUSE THEY WERE
WET FROM THE BASEMENT!
302
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,653
OK!
303
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,021
WE CAN GO ROUND
AND ROUND ABOUT THIS.
304
00:14:51,089 --> 00:14:52,990
ALL RIGHT, THE POINT IS
PACK YOUR THINGS.
305
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,291
YOU'RE COMING HOME
WITH ME. LET'S GO.
306
00:14:54,359 --> 00:14:58,762
DOUGLAS, I'M LIVING
THE LIFE OF RILEY HERE.
307
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,764
WHAT'S GOING ON?
308
00:15:00,832 --> 00:15:03,951
YOU WANT THE TRUTH?
309
00:15:05,286 --> 00:15:06,620
THE TRUTH IS...
310
00:15:07,622 --> 00:15:11,091
WELL, I MISS YOU.
311
00:15:11,158 --> 00:15:13,978
REALLY?
312
00:15:14,045 --> 00:15:16,313
I HAD NO IDEA
YOU FELT THAT WAY.
313
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,848
IT'S BECAUSE I'M
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
314
00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:20,851
WHO KEEPS THEIR FEELINGS
BOTTLED UP.
315
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,253
BUT I CAN'T
HIDE IT ANYMORE,
316
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:26,456
I- I NEED
MY YAHTZEE BUDDY.
317
00:15:26,524 --> 00:15:30,661
BUT THE LAST TIME WE PLAYED,
YOU SHOVED THE DICE IN MY MOUTH.
318
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:33,847
SOMETIMES
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
319
00:15:33,915 --> 00:15:36,917
I GOTTA HURT YOU.
320
00:15:36,984 --> 00:15:39,185
WELL, I'M STAYING HERE.
321
00:15:39,253 --> 00:15:42,456
BUT I'LL TRY AND CARVE OUT
SOME TIME FOR YOU ON WEEKENDS.
322
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,057
YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME, ARTHUR.
323
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:45,692
I WANT YOU TO GET YOUR STUFF
NOW. YOU'RE COMING HOME.
324
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,027
I'M AFRAID THAT WON'T
BE HAPPENING.
325
00:15:47,095 --> 00:15:48,929
OH, I'M AFRAID IT WILL.
OH, I THINK NOT!
326
00:15:48,996 --> 00:15:49,680
ALL RIGHT,
LISTEN TO ME, ARTHUR.
327
00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:50,698
ALL RIGHT,
FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS,
328
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:51,765
I'VE HAD TO WATCH YOU
CHEW YOUR FOOD
329
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:52,900
WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN
330
00:15:52,967 --> 00:15:54,868
AND CUT YOUR TOENAILS
ON MY BED.
331
00:15:54,936 --> 00:15:56,770
ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU CAN
FINALLY DO SOME GOOD FOR ME.
332
00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:58,088
SO, YOU'RE COMING
HOME WITH ME.
333
00:15:58,156 --> 00:16:00,191
YOU KNOW, WE CAN DO THIS THE EASY WAY...
334
00:16:00,258 --> 00:16:03,427
OR WE CAN DO THIS
THE HARD WAY.
335
00:16:05,363 --> 00:16:06,997
OK, WHAT'S THAT BUTTON?
336
00:16:07,065 --> 00:16:08,782
JUST LETTING
THE NYACK POLICE KNOW
337
00:16:08,849 --> 00:16:11,718
THAT A BIG-BONED INTRUDER
IS IN MY HOUSE.
338
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:18,909
HEY, HEY, GUYS,
339
00:16:18,976 --> 00:16:19,827
WE'RE ABOUT
TO HAVE AN OPEN HOUSE,
340
00:16:19,894 --> 00:16:21,245
YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO SCOOT.
341
00:16:21,312 --> 00:16:23,647
REALLY? 'CAUSE WE HAD
NO IDEA.
342
00:16:23,715 --> 00:16:25,449
YEAH, THAT'S FUNNY.
343
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,634
I MEAN, BECAUSE WE WERE ACTUALLY
THINKING ABOUT BUYING A HOUSE.
344
00:16:27,702 --> 00:16:29,003
REALLY?
YEAH.
345
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:30,254
I MEAN, IT'D HAVE
TO BE A REALLY GREAT DEAL
346
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,856
BECAUSE WE DON'T
REALLY LOVE THE PLACE.
347
00:16:32,924 --> 00:16:35,209
I MEAN, WE LIKE IT LIKE IT,
348
00:16:35,277 --> 00:16:37,043
WE JUST
DON'T LOVE IT LOVE IT.
349
00:16:37,111 --> 00:16:40,547
WELL, I WOULD WANT YOU TO
BUY ANYTHING YOU DIDN'T LOVE.
350
00:16:40,615 --> 00:16:42,482
SO,
LET'S GO.
351
00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:44,402
WAIT, C-CAN WE AT LEAST
LOOK AROUND?
352
00:16:44,469 --> 00:16:47,237
OK, FINE. BUT DON'T
DO ANYTHING WEIRD.
353
00:17:01,486 --> 00:17:04,254
ISN'T LIVING
IN THE CITY DELIGHTFUL?
354
00:17:04,322 --> 00:17:07,024
AND OUR FIRST COCKTAIL
PARTY, IT'S A HIT.
355
00:17:11,296 --> 00:17:14,948
OK, I'M GOING TO NEED
ABOUT 500 MORE OF THESE.
356
00:17:18,453 --> 00:17:20,921
SO, WHEN I FOUND OUT
IVANA WAS HAVING
357
00:17:20,989 --> 00:17:23,190
HER FUNDRAISER FOR
THE HOSPITAL ON FRIDAY,
358
00:17:23,258 --> 00:17:27,444
I MOVED MY AUCTION FOR
THE HOMELESS TO THURSDAY.
359
00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:29,396
WELL PLAYED, CARRIE.
360
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:33,867
DOUG, RIGHT?
361
00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:35,536
YEAH. HI, I'M TUCKER CARLSON.
362
00:17:35,603 --> 00:17:36,936
I LIVE RIGHT ACROSS
THE HALL.
363
00:17:37,004 --> 00:17:38,705
IF YOU EVER WANT TO SWING
BY AND TALK POLITICS,
364
00:17:38,773 --> 00:17:40,541
DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN.
365
00:17:41,726 --> 00:17:43,193
NO!
366
00:17:45,463 --> 00:17:47,564
DOUG, COME ON, GET UP.
HMM?
367
00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:48,349
COME ON, PEOPLE ARE
GOING TO BE
368
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,900
COMING THROUGH HERE
ANY MINUTE, HON.
369
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:50,901
FOR WHAT?
370
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,136
FOR THE OPEN HOUSE!
371
00:17:52,203 --> 00:17:53,637
CARRIE, LISTEN,
I REALLY THINK-
372
00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:56,924
OH, AND LOOK WHAT I GOT.
373
00:17:56,991 --> 00:17:59,543
KEYS? TO OUR APARTMENT IN THE CITY.
374
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:01,261
I- I DON'T WANT TO DO IT!
375
00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:03,113
WHAT?
I DON'T WANT TO MOVE.
376
00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:05,533
DOUG, WHAT ARE
- YOU SAID YOU WERE OK WITH THIS,
377
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,334
THAT MY DREAM
WAS YOUR DREAM.
378
00:18:07,402 --> 00:18:08,084
YEAH, I ONLY SAID THAT
379
00:18:08,152 --> 00:18:09,270
BECAUSE I KNEW
WE COULDN'T DO IT
380
00:18:09,337 --> 00:18:11,288
BECAUSE OF YOUR FATHER.
381
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:12,923
OH, GOD.
382
00:18:14,826 --> 00:18:17,611
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WOULD DO THIS!
383
00:18:17,678 --> 00:18:19,346
LOOK, CARRIE, IF I HAD A MAGIC
CARPET I'D GO BACK IN TIME
384
00:18:19,414 --> 00:18:22,315
AND I'D DO THINGS
DIFFERENTLY, BUT I DON'T!
385
00:18:22,383 --> 00:18:24,168
OK, MAGIC CARPETS
DON'T GO BACK IN TIME.
386
00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:25,585
YES, THEY DO.
NO, THEY DON'T.
387
00:18:25,653 --> 00:18:27,805
THEY TAKE YOU FROM ONE
PLACE TO ANOTHER, MAGICALLY,
388
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:29,206
BUT THEY DON'T
GO BACK IN TIME.
389
00:18:29,273 --> 00:18:30,340
FINE, FINE, THEN I WOULD
GO IN A TIME MACHINE,
390
00:18:30,408 --> 00:18:32,376
THEY GO BACK IN TIME,
DON'T THEY? YEAH-
391
00:18:32,443 --> 00:18:33,544
YEAH, I GUESS THEY DO,
392
00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:36,079
AND IF I HAD ONE I WOULD GO
BACK BEFORE I EVEN MET YOU.
393
00:18:36,147 --> 00:18:37,731
HELLO!
394
00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:39,816
THIS IS THE MASTER.
395
00:18:39,884 --> 00:18:42,236
YOU CAN SEE THAT THERE'S
LOTS OF CLOSET SPACE.
396
00:18:42,303 --> 00:18:43,503
IS THERE
COPPER PLUMBING?
397
00:18:43,571 --> 00:18:44,672
NO, IT'S RUSTY LEAD.
398
00:18:44,739 --> 00:18:48,024
NOW, BEAT IT.
BEAT IT!
399
00:18:51,128 --> 00:18:52,646
LOOK, DOUG,
400
00:18:52,713 --> 00:18:56,083
I
- I UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T WANT TO MOVE TO THE CITY,
401
00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:57,417
AND I KNOW WHY YOU
LIED TO ME,
402
00:18:57,485 --> 00:19:01,188
BUT THIS IS
IMPORTANT TO ME.
403
00:19:01,255 --> 00:19:03,490
AND IF THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT
YOU DREAMED OF YOUR WHOLE LIFE,
404
00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:05,859
AND I COULD GIVE IT
TO YOU, I WOULD.
405
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:06,676
THAT'S PERFECT, CARRIE.
406
00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:08,194
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT
MY DREAM IS?
407
00:19:08,262 --> 00:19:10,130
TO LIVE IN A HOUSE WITHOUT AN
OLD MAN LIVING IN THE BASEMENT.
408
00:19:10,197 --> 00:19:12,866
LET'S START THERE. WHAT DO
YOU SAY, DREAM WEAVER? HUH?
409
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:18,121
OH, ALL RIGHT,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
410
00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:20,440
OH, OK.
411
00:19:20,508 --> 00:19:22,226
CARRIE, I UNDERSTAND,
OK, I GET IT, YOU'RE MAD.
412
00:19:22,293 --> 00:19:24,228
ALL RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO FAKE PACK.
413
00:19:24,295 --> 00:19:25,729
EXCUSE ME.
414
00:19:25,796 --> 00:19:27,130
WHAT'S SO GREAT
ABOUT THE CITY, ANYWAY?
415
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:28,899
YOU KNOW, IT'S CROWDED,
IT'S POLLUTED,
416
00:19:28,966 --> 00:19:30,000
AND ACCORDING TO
THE PLANET OF THE APES,
417
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,002
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE
THERE VERY LONG, ALL RIGHT?
418
00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:38,675
SO, WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
419
00:19:38,743 --> 00:19:40,344
YOU-YOU LEAVING ME?
420
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:44,097
NO, DOUG, I AM MOVING TO
OUR APARTMENT IN THE CITY,
421
00:19:44,165 --> 00:19:47,334
AND I HOPE YOU JOIN ME.
422
00:19:47,401 --> 00:19:48,868
WELL, I'M NOT
GOING ANYWHERE, OK?
423
00:19:48,936 --> 00:19:52,506
IN FACT, I DON'T THINK I'M
EVER LEAVING THIS BEDROOM.
424
00:19:56,794 --> 00:19:58,628
YOU KNOW WHAT? GO.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE LEAVING.
425
00:19:58,696 --> 00:19:59,629
GOOD,
I'M GOING.
426
00:19:59,697 --> 00:20:00,580
GOOD.
GOOD!
427
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:01,698
UH, CARRIE?
428
00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:03,934
WHAT?
UMM...
429
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:05,603
COULD OUR INSPECTOR
COME BY TOMORROW?
430
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:06,953
WE'RE NOT SELLING!
431
00:20:07,021 --> 00:20:08,122
YES, WE ARE.
432
00:20:08,189 --> 00:20:10,224
AT THIS POINT, I'D FRIGGIN'
GIVE THE HOUSE AWAY.
433
00:20:13,327 --> 00:20:14,561
FINE, GO TO YOUR
FANCY MANHATTAN.
434
00:20:14,629 --> 00:20:16,947
YOU KNOW, AND I'LL BE HERE,
KEEPING IT REAL.
435
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:21,318
SHE'LL BE BACK
IN 5-4-3-2...
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