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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:04,100 ( music playing ) 2 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,080 ANNOUNCER: Starring tonight, 3 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,010 Cornel Wilde, 4 00:00:32,010 --> 00:00:33,190 Geraldine Page, 5 00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:35,090 Jack Albertson, 6 00:00:35,090 --> 00:00:37,050 Rosemary Forsyth, 7 00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:38,170 James Gregory, 8 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,020 and Bobby Darin, 9 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,230 Good evening, 10 00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:48,050 and welcome to an art museum of the unique, 11 00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:49,110 Paintings offered up 12 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:51,050 that infrequently find themselves 13 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,070 hung in the more prosaic places, 14 00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:54,180 Paintings that are frequently 15 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:57,150 as much formaldehyde as they are pigment, 16 00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:59,070 So, upon viewing, if you sense a touch 17 00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:01,210 of the grave, the morgue, the concrete slab, 18 00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:03,110 count yourself more or less normal 19 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:05,090 in terms of your taste in art, 20 00:01:05,090 --> 00:01:06,200 at least this art, 21 00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:12,220 Number one entry, 22 00:01:12,220 --> 00:01:15,040 a painting that suggests a story replete 23 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:19,090 with gaslight, hansom cabs, and cadavers-- 24 00:01:19,090 --> 00:01:21,100 an all-star cast of corpses 25 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,060 appearing in what we call 26 00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,020 "Deliveries in the Rear," 27 00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:28,040 delivered to you now on "Night Gallery," 28 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,070 ( music playing ) 29 00:01:48,110 --> 00:01:50,170 ( wagon wheels rumbling ) 30 00:02:45,190 --> 00:02:47,210 ( grunts ) 31 00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:00,060 ( knock on door ) 32 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,200 MAN: Well? 33 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,120 GRAVE ROBBER: Tell Dr, Fletcher we brought,,, 34 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,030 Never mind what you brought, 35 00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:11,060 Bring 'em in, 36 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,210 Look lively, 37 00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:23,140 FLETCHER: Now, gentlemen, 38 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:25,050 The cardinal rule 39 00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:27,060 in all dissections 40 00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:30,120 is to locate all important structures 41 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,090 and those most vulnerable to damage, 42 00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:36,100 Nerves are essentially more important than muscles, 43 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,000 And in this category, 44 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:42,070 motor nerves are more important than sensory nerves, 45 00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:46,030 Arteries are more important than veins, 46 00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:49,170 Now, in that area of the cadaver 47 00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:52,100 where we are overwhelmed by a,,, 48 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,160 a conglomeration of nerves, 49 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,210 best keep in mind 50 00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:58,010 that you may ignore all nerves 51 00:03:58,010 --> 00:03:59,180 but the chief ones, 52 00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:01,200 In this way, the would-be surgeon 53 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,180 achieves two things-- 54 00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:06,190 a savings in time and a much clearer picture, 55 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:08,040 Example,,, 56 00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,210 in the axilla, 57 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:15,020 keep the axillary and the cephalic veins, 58 00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:17,040 Ignore all others, 59 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,160 In the femoral triangle, 60 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,040 profunda femoris, 61 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,010 Mr, Tuttle,,, 62 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,020 if that look of yours bespeaks fatigue, 63 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,190 nap in your dormitory, 64 00:04:31,190 --> 00:04:33,070 If you are prone to fainting, 65 00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:35,080 be good enough to take it into the hallway, 66 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,220 And if nausea is your special weakness, 67 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:39,170 out of the building, please, 68 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,100 I'm sorry, Dr, Fletcher, 69 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,170 Speak up, please, 70 00:04:46,170 --> 00:04:50,030 It's the,,,the corpse, sir, 71 00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:51,050 The what? 72 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:54,100 The cadaver on the table, sir, 73 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:57,110 It's just that he looks so,,, 74 00:04:57,110 --> 00:04:59,000 he looks so,,, 75 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,140 unappetizing, 76 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:03,050 Hmm, 77 00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:08,170 Unappetizing, 78 00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:11,100 My dear would-be Dr, Tuttle, 79 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:14,080 this poor, dead, nameless wretch 80 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,080 is not on a restaurant menu, 81 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,190 ( laughter ) 82 00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:21,110 He is here in a postmortem attempt 83 00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:23,120 to teach you to save lives, 84 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,030 That he is, uh, unappetizing 85 00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:28,110 should not affect you in the slightest, 86 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:31,080 I wonder how appetizing you would look 87 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,100 if you had been cut into and sewed up 88 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,200 and generally opened and close 89 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,010 as often as he has, 90 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,100 FLETCHER: The important thing, gentlemen, 91 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,000 is the direction of the incision, 92 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,040 It's an oblique angle, 93 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,060 roughly like this, 94 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:52,160 Excuse me, 95 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,050 - Delivery, sir, - Mmm, 96 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:57,150 Gentlemen, tomorrow morning at 10:00, 97 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,090 A good evening to you, Dr, Fletcher, 98 00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:14,020 Lovely merchandise this evenin', 99 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,220 FLETCHER: Remains to be seen, 100 00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:18,010 ( grave robbers laughing ) 101 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:20,210 That's funny, 102 00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:22,110 Not intended to be, 103 00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:31,040 Where did you find this? 104 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:35,130 Oh, Now, you know as well as I do, Doctor, 105 00:06:35,130 --> 00:06:37,150 I'm not at liberty to divulge,,, 106 00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:40,040 You're certainly at liberty to divulge time, place, 107 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,040 and method of exhumation, 108 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,140 This man's been dead at least three weeks, 109 00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:48,140 Not even a nodding acquaintance with a mortician, 110 00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:52,030 Body's never been embalmed, 111 00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:54,050 Decomposing and of no use at all, 112 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:55,230 We ain't doctors, 113 00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:58,050 Indeed, you're not, 114 00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,160 Get this out of here and bury it 115 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:00,210 where you found it, 116 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,100 GRAVE ROBBER: Oh, doctor, 117 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,000 You'll be pleased with this one, 118 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,190 Oh, this one's an absolute jim-dandy, 119 00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,160 Hmm, 120 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,110 That's more like it, 121 00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:23,150 There's not even rigor mortis here, 122 00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,130 This man's been dead less than two hours, 123 00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:29,090 You said you preferred them fresh, Doctor, 124 00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:30,120 Where did you find him? 125 00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:33,230 Just a spot of luck, Doctor, 126 00:07:33,230 --> 00:07:37,110 A little good fortune on our part, eh? 127 00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:39,230 $50, at least, 128 00:07:39,230 --> 00:07:41,040 wouldn't you say, 129 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:49,060 GRAVE ROBBER: ( chuckles ) 130 00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:50,180 I think next Thursday 131 00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,080 we'll be able to do you good again, Doctor, 132 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,170 All right, all right, 133 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:04,050 Jamie, take a look at this, 134 00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,200 Dear God, 135 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,220 Mmm, 136 00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,100 Dead about two hours, 137 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,230 The cause? 138 00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:16,150 Look there, behind the ear, 139 00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:18,050 He might have been bludgeoned, 140 00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:19,070 Mmm, 141 00:08:19,070 --> 00:08:21,120 Skull fracture and,,, 142 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:26,020 instantaneous death from the look of it, 143 00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,080 You know, Jamie, it's a moot question 144 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,090 as to whether our suppliers 145 00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,160 merely disturb death 146 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,040 or actually cause it, hmm? 147 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,200 However, 148 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,050 if I'm to teach young men the art of surgery, 149 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,130 I cannot allow myself the luxury of moral outrage, 150 00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:44,010 If I don't leave soon, 151 00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:46,010 I'll be minus a fiancée, 152 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,190 See you in the morning, Jamie, 153 00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:54,040 Come now, Jamie, 154 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,000 No one else mourned him, 155 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,200 Why should you? 156 00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:05,020 ( crickets chirping ) 157 00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:08,110 ( harpsicord playing ) 158 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,060 ( piece ends ) 159 00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:33,020 FLETCHER: Beauty, talent, goodness, 160 00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:34,220 What more could any man want? 161 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:36,120 I hope not much more, 162 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,210 BENNETT: Barbara, dear, 163 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,100 There's a bottle of claret in my study, 164 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,010 I wonder if you'd be good enough to,,, 165 00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:43,150 BARBARA: You wonder if I'd be good enough 166 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,160 to leave you to men alone for a bit 167 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,130 so you can say something inappropriate 168 00:09:47,130 --> 00:09:49,200 for a young woman's ears, is that the idea? 169 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:53,010 BENNETT: To beauty and talent, add discernment, 170 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,210 You're marrying a most exceptional young lady, 171 00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,100 Dr, Fletcher, 172 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,140 I say this cognizant of the father's bias 173 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,060 that goes with it, 174 00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,090 You have five minutes and no more, 175 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:07,170 BENNETT: Sit down, John, 176 00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,060 I wanted to chat with you all evening, 177 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:19,090 I had a, uh, talk this afternoon 178 00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:20,230 with Dr, Shockman, 179 00:10:20,230 --> 00:10:23,160 Mmm, With negative results, I'm sure, 180 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:27,010 I grant you he's a bit single-minded, 181 00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:28,230 But in this case,,, 182 00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:30,230 I'd like to hear the case, 183 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,020 Your use of cadavers, 184 00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:34,230 What would he suggest as an alternative, 185 00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:36,140 store mannequins? 186 00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:38,170 He doesn't object to your use of the bodies, 187 00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:41,170 but he did express to me a deep concern 188 00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:42,160 as to,,, 189 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,070 as--as to the source, 190 00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:49,040 If the good Dr, Shockman 191 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,070 wants his college to turn out reasonably competent surgeons, 192 00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:53,160 then he must also supply 193 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,060 the wherewithal to teach them 194 00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:58,130 the arts and skills of healing with a knife, 195 00:10:58,130 --> 00:10:59,220 I grant you, I'm no-- 196 00:10:59,220 --> 00:11:01,130 I'm no doctor, of course, 197 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:05,120 but it does strike me that we tread on thin ice here, 198 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,160 Rumor has it, according to Shockman, 199 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,190 that you and certain others 200 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:12,040 accept delivery of these corpses 201 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,120 with no question at all as,,, 202 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,080 as to where they came from, 203 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,230 Well, that, unfortunately, has become the case, 204 00:11:20,230 --> 00:11:22,180 but you see, Mr, Bennett, 205 00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:26,100 it's very rare that the surviving loved ones 206 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,200 allow us to move into the graveyard 207 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,130 after the sad ritual, 208 00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:31,130 And, therefore, we are forced 209 00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:34,070 to deal with the dregs, the scum, 210 00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:37,060 a--a breed of social subhumans, 211 00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:39,210 who have no qualms about their profession, 212 00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:41,070 Well, that's just the point, 213 00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:42,170 What is their profession, to rob graves, 214 00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:44,010 to--to murder? 215 00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:45,110 John, you can't be a part of that, 216 00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:48,040 I am no part of it, Mr, Bennett, 217 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,130 I do not sell shovels, 218 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:51,130 I do not fill holes, 219 00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:54,020 I do not order assassinations, 220 00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:55,150 I am a surgeon, sir, 221 00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:57,120 and I teach surgery to others, 222 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:03,050 About these cadavers, 223 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,150 What about them? 224 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:09,060 Dr, Shockman went so far as to suggest that 225 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,180 they were the victims of foul play, 226 00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:13,030 I have no doubt, 227 00:12:13,030 --> 00:12:14,170 You mean, you'd accept,,, 228 00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,180 FLETCHER: What Dr, Shockman did not say is that 229 00:12:16,180 --> 00:12:18,210 if they are indeed the victims of, uh, 230 00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:21,190 a knifing, a bludgeoning or the garrote, 231 00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:23,220 the victim in each case is himself 232 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,100 a piece of scum-- 233 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,160 a drunk, a derelict, 234 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,230 a felon, 235 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:30,100 a nameless, wondering, nonentity 236 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,080 whose death goes quite unnoticed, 237 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,220 John, you can't, 238 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,010 Now, let me tell you what we do 239 00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,200 with this nameless derelict, 240 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:40,030 We give him a,,, a kind of immortality, 241 00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:41,230 We give him something he hadn't had 242 00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:44,010 in all his life, a function, 243 00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:45,150 We make him valuable, 244 00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,170 We put him to work, 245 00:12:46,170 --> 00:12:48,230 We lay him on a--on a slab, 246 00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:51,120 and we use him in the most salutary, 247 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,020 educative fashion-- 248 00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:56,110 to teach young men through his death 249 00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:58,210 how to maintain life in others, 250 00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,050 And that, Mr, Bennett, 251 00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:04,010 although it may shock, offend, unnerve, 252 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:07,030 that is man using his brains 253 00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:09,070 to the best possible purpose, 254 00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,020 BENNETT: And to do so, you'll rob him of 255 00:13:11,020 --> 00:13:12,080 his own right to live, 256 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,000 And I submit to you, John, 257 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,000 that that may be professionally expedient, 258 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,070 but it is neither the right 259 00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:20,060 nor just nor moral, 260 00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:25,060 It appears that I absented myself too long, 261 00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:27,230 Well, your father and I 262 00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:30,030 had a minor disagreement, 263 00:13:30,030 --> 00:13:31,160 but it's finished, 264 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,170 I don't consider it a minor disagreement, 265 00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:36,130 and it's hardly finished, 266 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:38,070 We'll talk about this again, John, 267 00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:47,140 What happened, John? 268 00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:50,010 Oh, it was inconsequential, 269 00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:51,170 It's just that your father 270 00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:53,170 has taken-- taken it upon himself 271 00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:55,110 to dabble in surgery 272 00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:59,200 in a peripheral area, 273 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,050 He was talking to Dr, Shockman this afternoon, 274 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:05,040 Oh, Dr, Shockman must be part mystic, 275 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:08,020 Apparently, he believes that,,, 276 00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:10,030 birth,,, 277 00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:13,160 comes from a rib in the Garden of Eden 278 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:17,080 and that cadavers are manufactured 279 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,050 like gas mantles in some factory, 280 00:14:20,050 --> 00:14:21,180 Well,,, 281 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:37,030 I'd better go now, darling, 282 00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:38,140 I, um ,,, 283 00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:41,200 I have a class in the morning and a,,, 284 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,120 a damnably long day, 285 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,070 Uh, please say good night to your father 286 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:51,020 and offer him up 287 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,160 apologies for me, will you? 288 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,040 Sincerely felt apologies? 289 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,110 Oh, hardly, 290 00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:57,090 Diplomatic, ritualistic apologies 291 00:14:57,090 --> 00:14:58,190 in deference to his age 292 00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,070 and the fact that I'm gonna marry 293 00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,150 his only daughter, 294 00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:08,140 And tell him that I have one endearing quality, 295 00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,220 I happen to love his daughter very much, 296 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:12,110 and all the cadavers in the world 297 00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:14,080 can't change that, 298 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,120 Is that somehow supposed to assuage him or please me? 299 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,200 There are times, John, 300 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,220 that the surgeon in you 301 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:23,040 gets in the way of the man, 302 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,130 Maybe that's the reason it took you so long 303 00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:26,070 to decide to marry, 304 00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:30,020 Mmm, I've done myself no good this evening, 305 00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,120 Tell your father for me that 306 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,190 there are numerous times 307 00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:34,060 when I would gladly throw away 308 00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:35,190 the scalpel, the sutures, 309 00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:37,090 and all the rest of it, 310 00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:38,220 But the problem is that 311 00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:42,070 disease always manages to outdistance science, 312 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:43,180 And whatever our ingenuity 313 00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,120 and brilliance, 314 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,110 we're still no match for death, 315 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:50,040 And until we are, my darling, 316 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,120 you'll have to share the man in me 317 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,010 with the surgeon, 318 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,200 ( door closes ) 319 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,190 ( playing ) 320 00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:21,020 A most unpleasant confrontation, 321 00:16:21,020 --> 00:16:23,060 I gathered, 322 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,000 There are facets to John 323 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,100 that, well, 324 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:31,010 to say the least, they disturb, 325 00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:33,130 ( horse galloping ) 326 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:34,210 How could a man so dedicated 327 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,160 to saving lives 328 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,010 be so ignorant of the sanctity 329 00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:40,040 of life itself? 330 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,150 ( playing ) 331 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:58,220 ( horse trotting ) 332 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,070 DRIVER: Whoa, 333 00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:22,110 ( carriage leaving ) 334 00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:24,050 I'm afraid you're at the wrong address, Mother, 335 00:17:24,050 --> 00:17:26,070 You're Doc Fletcher, ain't you? 336 00:17:26,070 --> 00:17:27,220 That's correct, I'm Dr, Fletcher, 337 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,160 but I don't receive patients at my lodging, 338 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,100 I ain't here for no treatments! 339 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:34,010 - What then? - You got me Charlie! 340 00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:35,210 Mother, I have nothing that belongs to you, 341 00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:36,220 but I do have some advice for you, 342 00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:38,120 Go home and sleep it off! 343 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:41,060 You don't get off scot-free like that, Doc, 344 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,020 Now, admit it, you got me Charlie, 345 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,050 You got him in that hellhole of yours! 346 00:17:45,050 --> 00:17:47,010 You got him lying on a slab, 347 00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:49,130 and every day, you cut into him! Every day! 348 00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:51,100 Now, you listen to me, mother, 349 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,090 I do not have your Charlie, 350 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:54,230 I don't even know who Charlie is, 351 00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:56,120 But if you don't get off my front steps, 352 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,170 I'll have a policeman here in a minute, 353 00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,030 and then you'll see! 354 00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:01,060 Don't give me that about a policeman! 355 00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:03,120 Don't give me that, 356 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,170 Oh, that's what I should have had here first, 357 00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:07,220 You're no better than the ghouls you hire, 358 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,020 You're just a ghoul yourself, 359 00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:11,080 That's what you are! 360 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,030 You're just a ghoul! 361 00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:15,090 That's what you are! 362 00:18:15,090 --> 00:18:17,090 Oh, you're a grave robber! 363 00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:18,190 ( knocking on door ) 364 00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:21,140 I'm going to get the police! 365 00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:26,120 I'm going to get the police to kill you, 366 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,160 to hang you 367 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,100 for disturbing the dead! 368 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,120 ( knocking ) 369 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,150 The police, 370 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:34,090 I'm gonna get them! 371 00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:36,210 ( bells ringing ) 372 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,220 Good afternoon, Dr, Shockman, 373 00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:51,040 An unexpected pleasure, 374 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,100 Not pleasure, Dr, Fletcher, 375 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,150 Why don't you just leave it at unexpected? 376 00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:58,050 FLETCHER: Well, whatever, 377 00:18:58,050 --> 00:19:01,110 What can I do for you, Doctor 378 00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:03,180 Precious little, 379 00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:05,120 except reassure me 380 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,000 that no member of my staff 381 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,120 has involved himself 382 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,040 in the grimy, unpalatable business 383 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,090 of corpse-stealing, 384 00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:16,060 Dr, Shockman, you and I both know 385 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,100 that frequently when a cadaver is brought to us, 386 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,230 we very pointedly refrain from asking questions, 387 00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:24,140 That may very well be, 388 00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:25,190 But this morning, 389 00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:28,020 I was visited by some ancient biddy 390 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:31,180 who was not so reluctant to ask questions, 391 00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:33,100 Her principal question was the present 392 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:36,030 whereabouts of her husband, 393 00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,180 It was her contention that he is in this building, 394 00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:40,170 where he is currently being used 395 00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,220 for dissection, 396 00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:44,060 We have no such subject here, 397 00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,100 That had better be the case, 398 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,190 The woman has threatened 399 00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:50,020 to bring the police into this, 400 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:52,080 I expect we will shortly be visited 401 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,100 by a raft of detectives 402 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,220 with a court order to examine the premises, 403 00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:59,090 and should they find a cadaver named Charlie, 404 00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:01,140 Dr, Fletcher, 405 00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:04,150 you had best be very glib in your explanations 406 00:20:04,150 --> 00:20:06,110 as to how he arrived here, 407 00:20:06,110 --> 00:20:08,090 Dr, Shockman, 408 00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:11,230 we have no male subject here at all, 409 00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:13,010 As a matter of fact, 410 00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:15,040 we have the body of a woman, 411 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,160 which should lay at rest any interest 412 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,110 the police might have in the matter, 413 00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:21,050 I hope for your sake that is the case, 414 00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:22,160 This further admonishment, 415 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,000 Dr, Fletcher, 416 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,130 For the time being, 417 00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:29,210 I would discontinue the dissection of humans, 418 00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:31,160 Use animals, 419 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,130 Animals? 420 00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:35,070 Dr, Shockman, 421 00:20:35,070 --> 00:20:36,200 we are trying to graduate 422 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,220 a class of surgeons here, 423 00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:39,090 not taxidermists! 424 00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:41,180 SHOCKMAN: Better taxidermists 425 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:45,000 than sanctimonious collaborators in murder, 426 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,140 Apparently, I'm in your debt, Jamie, 427 00:20:56,140 --> 00:20:58,180 Fortunately, the good Dr, Shockman 428 00:20:58,180 --> 00:21:02,090 is rather ceremonial about his comings and goings, 429 00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:03,200 When I heard he was coming here, 430 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,190 I hurriedly and conveniently 431 00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:07,110 hid the body in the basement, 432 00:21:07,110 --> 00:21:09,210 I am in your debt, 433 00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:13,130 But it's a short-term indebtedness, Doctor, 434 00:21:13,130 --> 00:21:15,210 As long only as it takes the police to arrive, 435 00:21:15,210 --> 00:21:17,090 demand that we produce the body, 436 00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:18,210 and comprehend that you were lying 437 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:20,070 to Dr, Shockman, 438 00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:23,010 You told him that we had a woman cadaver, 439 00:21:23,010 --> 00:21:25,210 Hmm, 440 00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:27,080 And so it shall be, 441 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,120 So it must be, 442 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,020 ( horse trotting ) 443 00:21:46,150 --> 00:21:48,110 GRAVE ROBBER: All right, get down and ask him, 444 00:21:48,110 --> 00:21:50,040 ACCOMPLICE: Why me ask him? Why not you? 445 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,060 GRAVE ROBBER: You heard what the doctor said, 446 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,080 He's got to have a female, 447 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,100 No ifs and buts, 448 00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:54,130 One corpse, female, 449 00:21:54,130 --> 00:21:56,110 Get down and ask him now, 450 00:22:02,110 --> 00:22:03,220 ( knocking ) 451 00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:10,120 Oh, it's you, 452 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,090 ACCOMPLICE: Any merchandise on display? 453 00:22:25,030 --> 00:22:26,220 He's all I got, 454 00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,150 He? 455 00:22:30,070 --> 00:22:31,120 You got no she? 456 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,020 No, 457 00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:36,010 I could let you have him after 11:00 in the morning, 458 00:22:36,010 --> 00:22:37,130 Cheap at that, 459 00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:39,100 County is burying him, 460 00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:41,030 so the casket will be closed 461 00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:43,180 right after the morning service, 462 00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:46,030 It won't do, I've got to have me a female, 463 00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:49,090 Then you'll have to try elsewhere, 464 00:22:49,090 --> 00:22:51,190 Appears that's the case, 465 00:22:58,180 --> 00:22:59,160 ( door closes ) 466 00:23:05,030 --> 00:23:07,060 A little brisk to go digging, 467 00:23:07,060 --> 00:23:09,060 Much too brisk for my way, 468 00:23:11,170 --> 00:23:14,020 I think we'll do our huntin' on the wing 469 00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:15,100 this evenin', 470 00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:17,040 Risky, 471 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,060 Mighty risky, 472 00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:21,130 especially since it's a woman, 473 00:23:21,130 --> 00:23:23,130 Fletcher's anxious, 474 00:23:23,130 --> 00:23:25,130 in a frantic hurry, 475 00:23:25,130 --> 00:23:29,050 That means he'll pay top dollar, 476 00:23:29,050 --> 00:23:34,010 and that means I don't care about the risk, 477 00:23:36,030 --> 00:23:38,010 ( students conversing ) 478 00:23:53,050 --> 00:23:55,020 - Dr, Fletcher, - Yes? 479 00:23:55,020 --> 00:23:56,090 Hannify is my name, 480 00:23:58,060 --> 00:24:00,160 I wonder if you'd mind answering a few questions, 481 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,190 Yes, a very few, 482 00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:03,020 I'm due for a lecture inside, 483 00:24:03,020 --> 00:24:06,040 Well, we have a complaint, Doctor, 484 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,100 A woman named, uh, 485 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:10,200 Woods has,,, 486 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,020 had a husband named Charlie, 487 00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:16,070 Yes, I've met the lady, 488 00:24:16,070 --> 00:24:17,160 She has some insane idea 489 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,070 that we have her husband's body here, 490 00:24:20,070 --> 00:24:23,110 I take it then that you don't? 491 00:24:23,110 --> 00:24:25,020 You take it correctly, 492 00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:27,060 Are you, uh,,, 493 00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:29,040 dissecting this evening? 494 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,160 That would be my intention, 495 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,230 I was further told by Dr, Shockman 496 00:24:33,230 --> 00:24:36,120 that you have the body of a woman, 497 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,020 That's quite correct, 498 00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:39,180 So it would seem that the good lady, uh,,, 499 00:24:39,180 --> 00:24:40,210 What did you say her name was? 500 00:24:40,210 --> 00:24:42,180 - Woods, - FLETCHER: Yes, Woods, 501 00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:44,080 So it would seem that the good lady 502 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,050 is overabundantly imaginative 503 00:24:47,050 --> 00:24:49,110 and less abundantly sober, 504 00:24:49,110 --> 00:24:51,150 It would seem so, Doctor, 505 00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:56,080 if indeed the cadaver is that of a female, 506 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,160 May I see it? 507 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,000 Am I to understand 508 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,050 that the word of a drunken old crone 509 00:25:01,050 --> 00:25:04,010 has the same value as mine? 510 00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:06,080 The lady was in a saloon last night 511 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,130 and overheard some conversation between two men 512 00:25:08,130 --> 00:25:09,210 who've been on our books before, 513 00:25:09,210 --> 00:25:11,180 They're grave robbers, sir, 514 00:25:11,180 --> 00:25:16,000 She heard one of the men mention her husband's name, 515 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,140 and then your name was brought up, 516 00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:19,210 The degree of dependability, Doctor, 517 00:25:19,210 --> 00:25:21,080 is not at issue, 518 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,050 But a missing corpse and a possible homicide, 519 00:25:24,050 --> 00:25:26,040 that is the issue, 520 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,050 And so I'll ask you again 521 00:25:28,050 --> 00:25:30,100 to allow me to examine whatever it is 522 00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:32,020 you're cutting into this evening, 523 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:53,100 It is the,,, 524 00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:54,220 body of a woman, Doctor, 525 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:56,150 Yes, as I told you, 526 00:25:58,180 --> 00:26:00,040 I,,, 527 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,070 thank you for your trouble, Doctor, 528 00:26:02,070 --> 00:26:04,050 and I,,, 529 00:26:04,050 --> 00:26:05,150 apologize for any inconvenience, 530 00:26:05,150 --> 00:26:07,010 It's quite all right, 531 00:26:07,010 --> 00:26:09,060 I hope the good woman finds her husband, 532 00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:11,120 Well, I share the hope, Doctor, 533 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,040 And, uh,,, 534 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,020 I have one more hope, 535 00:26:16,020 --> 00:26:17,170 for worse and forlorn, 536 00:26:17,170 --> 00:26:22,040 that one day I catch you accepting a delivery, 537 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,220 and I'll see to it that the next thing 538 00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:26,230 you hold in your hand won't be a scalpel, 539 00:26:26,230 --> 00:26:29,150 It'll be a sledgehammer in a prison rock yard, 540 00:26:45,140 --> 00:26:47,230 They are waiting for their pay, 541 00:27:07,020 --> 00:27:08,140 This was a sticky one, Doctor, 542 00:27:08,140 --> 00:27:10,000 as you can imagine, 543 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,220 A hundred dollars for this delivery, 544 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,110 The price is going up, hmm? 545 00:27:15,110 --> 00:27:18,060 Aye, the price goes up 546 00:27:18,060 --> 00:27:19,200 when you've only got an hour or so 547 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,230 to produce a female corpse, 548 00:27:21,230 --> 00:27:25,170 And there'll be no questions about this one, 549 00:27:26,220 --> 00:27:28,210 No questions at all, 550 00:27:33,010 --> 00:27:34,130 FLETCHER: All right, gentlemen, 551 00:27:34,130 --> 00:27:37,090 Tonight we will continue our examination 552 00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:39,030 into the art of dissection, 553 00:27:41,140 --> 00:27:45,140 First, a small preface to tonight's event, 554 00:27:45,140 --> 00:27:49,000 It has to do with the value of life, 555 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,180 the so-called value, 556 00:27:50,180 --> 00:27:53,030 No doubt you've heard whispered concerns 557 00:27:53,030 --> 00:27:57,080 about where we obtain our subjects for dissection, 558 00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,140 May I tell you briefly 559 00:27:58,140 --> 00:28:00,170 that such concerns are misplaced? 560 00:28:00,170 --> 00:28:02,200 Any cadaver which aides 561 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,070 in teaching you young gentlemen 562 00:28:04,070 --> 00:28:05,160 the art of surgery, 563 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,100 that cadaver has served its purpose, 564 00:28:10,030 --> 00:28:12,090 And so that there's no misunderstanding 565 00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:14,090 among any of you in this room, 566 00:28:14,090 --> 00:28:19,130 no individual life is of any consequence 567 00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:22,050 if it means the saving of many lives, 568 00:28:22,050 --> 00:28:26,010 That, gentlemen, is the first and cardinal lesson 569 00:28:26,010 --> 00:28:27,140 you must learn, 570 00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:31,030 And now, we will begin tonight's session, 571 00:28:40,110 --> 00:28:41,120 ( moans ) 572 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,040 ( screaming ) 573 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,020 ( music playing ) 574 00:29:05,060 --> 00:29:06,230 Painting number two in the Night Gallery, 575 00:29:06,230 --> 00:29:08,130 addressing itself to the strains 576 00:29:08,130 --> 00:29:10,130 and stresses of the married, 577 00:29:10,130 --> 00:29:13,080 having to do with the fact that there is more than one way 578 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,200 to kill a cat, 579 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:18,080 and more than one way to dispose of a wife, 580 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,040 Our painting is called 581 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,140 "Stop Killing Me," 582 00:29:21,140 --> 00:29:24,110 ( music playing ) 583 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,190 ( traffic noise ) 584 00:29:51,140 --> 00:29:52,140 ( car door closes ) 585 00:30:00,150 --> 00:30:02,110 ( typewriters clacking ) 586 00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:06,190 ( phone ringing ) 587 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,060 ( footsteps ) 588 00:30:17,090 --> 00:30:20,140 My name is Mrs, Frances Turchin, 589 00:30:20,140 --> 00:30:22,130 and my husband is killing me, 590 00:30:22,130 --> 00:30:24,160 Hmm, Yeah, 591 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,020 My wife is killing me, 592 00:30:26,020 --> 00:30:28,020 ( chuckling ) 593 00:30:28,020 --> 00:30:29,160 Uh, well, do you wanna lodge 594 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,110 your formal complaint against him? 595 00:30:31,110 --> 00:30:33,010 - Is that it, Missus, uh,,, - Turchin, 596 00:30:33,010 --> 00:30:34,160 Mrs, Frances Turchin, 597 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,000 My husband is Bernard W,, 598 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,100 6310 East Howard Street, 599 00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:42,040 Staten Island, 600 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,220 Aren't you writing any of this down? 601 00:30:43,220 --> 00:30:47,000 Oh, well, no, no, ma'am, 602 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,140 not unless you wanna make a formal complaint, 603 00:30:49,140 --> 00:30:52,120 See, the taxpayers don't like us to waste too much paper, 604 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,170 - You know what I mean? - Oh, 605 00:30:54,170 --> 00:30:56,090 BEVERLOW: Now, Now, then you say 606 00:30:56,090 --> 00:30:58,030 your husband's trying to kill you? 607 00:30:58,030 --> 00:30:59,080 No, No, no, no, 608 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,050 He is killing me, 609 00:31:01,050 --> 00:31:03,220 Right now, while I'm talking to you, he is killing me, 610 00:31:03,220 --> 00:31:06,040 Don't you understand? 611 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:10,160 No, No, ma'am, I don't believe I do, 612 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,000 You mean to say that your husband has, uh, 613 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,140 has made an attempt on your life? 614 00:31:14,140 --> 00:31:16,030 No, 615 00:31:16,030 --> 00:31:18,050 No, no, no, no, no, He hasn't done anything, 616 00:31:18,050 --> 00:31:20,000 but tell me that he is going to kill me, 617 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,150 he's going to kill me, he's going to kill me, 618 00:31:21,150 --> 00:31:22,210 he's going to kill me, 619 00:31:22,210 --> 00:31:23,230 At least a hundred times 620 00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:25,230 for the last three weeks, 621 00:31:25,230 --> 00:31:29,000 In person, on the telephone, at home, 622 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,010 in the car, 623 00:31:30,010 --> 00:31:32,120 any chance he gets, And,,, 624 00:31:33,210 --> 00:31:36,050 Friday night, 625 00:31:36,050 --> 00:31:38,050 we went to the movies, 626 00:31:38,050 --> 00:31:40,150 and right in the best part, 627 00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:43,000 he turned to me and he says, 628 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,050 "I'm gonna kill you, Frances," 629 00:31:45,050 --> 00:31:47,220 It spoiled the whole film for me, 630 00:31:47,220 --> 00:31:50,020 Tsk tsk tsk, 631 00:31:50,020 --> 00:31:52,070 Uh, tell me this, Mrs, Turchin, has, uh,,, 632 00:31:52,070 --> 00:31:55,100 has he made these threats on your life 633 00:31:55,100 --> 00:31:56,140 in the company of other persons? 634 00:31:56,140 --> 00:31:58,160 Oh, of course, of course, 635 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,000 He doesn't care who's around, 636 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,040 Two weeks ago, my sister, Velma, 637 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,230 was over for dinner, 638 00:32:02,230 --> 00:32:04,220 and right in the middle when she was telling about her,,, 639 00:32:04,220 --> 00:32:09,030 her neighbor's asthma, he says, 640 00:32:09,030 --> 00:32:10,110 "Excuse me a minute, Velma," 641 00:32:10,110 --> 00:32:13,160 and then he turned to me and he said,,, 642 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:16,160 "Heh heh! I am gonna kill you, Frances," 643 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,160 And then he laughed, 644 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,140 Ah ha ha ha! 645 00:32:20,140 --> 00:32:22,150 And he tells my sister, 646 00:32:22,150 --> 00:32:24,100 "Go on with your story," 647 00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:25,220 ( sniffling ) 648 00:32:32,010 --> 00:32:35,160 ( Frances sighs ) 649 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,200 You don't believe me? 650 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,080 No, it's just that you,,, 651 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,150 FRANCES: You call him up, He'll tell you, 652 00:32:39,150 --> 00:32:40,190 You call him on the telephone, 653 00:32:40,190 --> 00:32:42,030 He'll tell you himself, 654 00:32:42,030 --> 00:32:44,090 Ulster-8-9945, 655 00:32:44,090 --> 00:32:46,150 Oh, he'll tell you, He's proud of it, 656 00:32:46,150 --> 00:32:48,180 He says, "No one has ever 657 00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:51,070 found an easier way to kill a person," 658 00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:54,120 BEVERLOW: And you, uh-- I mean, 659 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,140 you really think you're husband's serious about this,,, 660 00:32:56,140 --> 00:32:57,160 Well, call him! 661 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:01,060 Ulster-8-9945, 662 00:33:01,060 --> 00:33:03,210 8-9945, 663 00:33:05,050 --> 00:33:07,100 And has he indicated just, um,,, 664 00:33:07,100 --> 00:33:08,190 how he intends to kill you? 665 00:33:08,190 --> 00:33:10,130 Oh, certainly, 666 00:33:10,130 --> 00:33:13,100 He says that I will probably 667 00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:16,020 be run over by a car, 668 00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:18,180 If not, I will fall down a flight of stairs 669 00:33:18,180 --> 00:33:20,130 and break my neck, 670 00:33:20,130 --> 00:33:22,090 We live on the third floor, 671 00:33:22,090 --> 00:33:23,120 Ah, 672 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,030 FRANCES: And then if not that, 673 00:33:26,030 --> 00:33:29,200 he says maybe I would take too many sleeping pills, 674 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,120 I don't know how many I've taken 675 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,120 since he started this crazy thing, 676 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,080 Maybe I've taken too many already, 677 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:41,210 And if I do doze off, he pokes me and he says, 678 00:33:41,210 --> 00:33:44,220 "I'm gonna kill you, Frances," 679 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,210 And then he goes to sleep, 680 00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:49,090 ( snores ) 681 00:33:49,090 --> 00:33:50,200 And I lie there 682 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,100 all night, 683 00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:53,120 worrying, 684 00:33:54,210 --> 00:33:57,130 That's how he's killing me, 685 00:33:57,130 --> 00:33:59,140 Yeah, Hey, you know, maybe that's it, 686 00:33:59,140 --> 00:34:02,190 Maybe he just figures on worrying you to death, huh? 687 00:34:02,190 --> 00:34:05,060 Oh, exactly, Exactly, 688 00:34:05,060 --> 00:34:07,170 He is worrying me to death, 689 00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:11,010 and someday I am gonna be worrying so much 690 00:34:11,010 --> 00:34:13,170 that I will get run over by a car, 691 00:34:13,170 --> 00:34:17,020 I will fall down a flight of steps, I-- 692 00:34:17,020 --> 00:34:20,020 Oh, well, what's the use? 693 00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:22,070 It's just the way he planned it, 694 00:34:22,070 --> 00:34:25,150 And the other night, 695 00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:27,130 he said,,, 696 00:34:27,130 --> 00:34:29,100 that he gives me a week at the most, 697 00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:32,060 - Oh? - FRANCES: A week, 698 00:34:32,060 --> 00:34:33,220 A week,,, 699 00:34:33,220 --> 00:34:35,000 and I'll be dead, 700 00:34:39,020 --> 00:34:40,120 And you know what? 701 00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:44,060 No, No, what? What, ma'am? 702 00:34:44,060 --> 00:34:46,220 I believe him, 703 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,020 Just today, 704 00:34:54,020 --> 00:34:55,170 on the way over here, 705 00:34:55,170 --> 00:34:58,060 I didn't even see the bus that I was waiting for, 706 00:34:58,060 --> 00:35:00,130 I was standing right out in the middle of the street, 707 00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:02,150 and if some nice girl hadn't pushed me back, 708 00:35:02,150 --> 00:35:04,100 he would've killed me right then, 709 00:35:04,100 --> 00:35:07,070 - Your husband? - Well, of course, my husband, 710 00:35:07,070 --> 00:35:09,030 Who else are we talking about? 711 00:35:09,030 --> 00:35:10,220 Right, sorry, ma'am, 712 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:13,160 So,,, 713 00:35:15,230 --> 00:35:18,000 what are you going to do about it? 714 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:22,170 Well, I don't know what I can do about it, Mrs, Turchin, 715 00:35:22,170 --> 00:35:24,190 you know, unless you want to, uh,,, 716 00:35:24,190 --> 00:35:27,040 file a formal complaint against your husband, 717 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,180 A complaint? I have told you he is killing me! 718 00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:32,110 Isn't that complaint enough? 719 00:35:32,110 --> 00:35:34,150 I don't wanna start with papers and subpoenas, 720 00:35:34,150 --> 00:35:36,020 I will be dead already, 721 00:35:36,020 --> 00:35:37,140 I don't want to swear out complaints, 722 00:35:37,140 --> 00:35:40,140 I want you to speak to Bernard and tell him 723 00:35:40,140 --> 00:35:42,010 to stop killing me! 724 00:35:44,070 --> 00:35:46,010 Well, I suppose I could call him up 725 00:35:46,010 --> 00:35:48,090 and talk to him, Mrs, Turchin, if you'd like that, 726 00:35:48,090 --> 00:35:51,010 But first--now, first, Mrs, Turchin, 727 00:35:51,010 --> 00:35:53,130 you know, would you mind explaining to me 728 00:35:53,130 --> 00:35:56,010 why you think your husband's trying to kill you? 729 00:35:56,010 --> 00:35:58,140 Oh, because I won't divorce him, 730 00:35:58,140 --> 00:36:00,100 That is all, 731 00:36:00,100 --> 00:36:04,210 Just because I won't divorce him, 732 00:36:04,210 --> 00:36:07,080 Is that a reason to kill a person? 733 00:36:15,070 --> 00:36:17,040 Well, there's some people I know 734 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,120 who might think that's reason enough, yes, ma'am, 735 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,160 Well, then, 736 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,200 he will have to kill me, 737 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,210 because I will never divorce him, 738 00:36:26,210 --> 00:36:27,210 Never! 739 00:36:33,230 --> 00:36:35,210 At my age, 740 00:36:35,210 --> 00:36:39,100 where would I find another husband? 741 00:36:39,100 --> 00:36:41,190 - Yes, ma'am, - FRANCES: So,,, 742 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,010 Ulster-8-9945, 743 00:36:48,130 --> 00:36:51,000 Yeah, but, uh, first, 744 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,000 would you mind telling me why 745 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,080 you think your husband, you know, wants a divorce? 746 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,120 Because--now, wait a minute now, Mr, Turchin, 747 00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,220 You know, this just might be 748 00:36:58,220 --> 00:37:00,190 a matter for a marriage counselor or something, 749 00:37:00,190 --> 00:37:02,090 not for the police department at all, 750 00:37:02,090 --> 00:37:05,100 But he says there are a thousand reasons 751 00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:07,140 and all of them are crazy, 752 00:37:07,140 --> 00:37:08,210 Would you like to hear some of those 753 00:37:08,210 --> 00:37:10,090 crazy reasons, officer? 754 00:37:10,090 --> 00:37:12,000 Yeah, if you don't mind, Yeah, 755 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,170 Oh, I don't mind, They're all crazy, 756 00:37:13,170 --> 00:37:15,000 You'll see, 757 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,000 Crazy reason number one, 758 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,200 He says,,, 759 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:23,170 that I do not cook well enough, 760 00:37:23,170 --> 00:37:26,190 We have been married for 23 years, 761 00:37:26,190 --> 00:37:27,230 and suddenly, he says 762 00:37:27,230 --> 00:37:31,050 I do not cook well enough, 763 00:37:33,090 --> 00:37:35,190 So it's either divorce him 764 00:37:35,190 --> 00:37:38,060 or killing me, 765 00:37:38,060 --> 00:37:40,180 Are you married, Officer? 766 00:37:40,180 --> 00:37:42,140 Yes, ma'am, 767 00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:45,100 - Is this your wife? - Yes, ma'am, 768 00:37:45,100 --> 00:37:46,230 FRANCES: She looks like a very sweet woman, 769 00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:48,170 Does she cook well? 770 00:37:48,170 --> 00:37:50,180 Hmm? Uh,,, 771 00:37:50,180 --> 00:37:53,060 Well, I guess you could say she's about the average, ma'am, 772 00:37:53,060 --> 00:37:56,020 Well, there, you see? Nobody is perfect, 773 00:37:56,020 --> 00:37:58,150 And then crazy reason number two, 774 00:37:58,150 --> 00:38:00,110 Because I'm not as beautiful 775 00:38:00,110 --> 00:38:02,030 as I was when he married me, 776 00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:04,000 Now, is that a crazy reason or not? 777 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,090 How long have you been married, may I ask? 778 00:38:08,190 --> 00:38:11,210 Uh, fourteen years come next May, ma'am, 779 00:38:11,210 --> 00:38:14,020 Well, is your wife as beautiful as she was 780 00:38:14,020 --> 00:38:15,150 when you married her? 781 00:38:15,150 --> 00:38:17,020 Be honest, 782 00:38:17,020 --> 00:38:19,200 No, I don't guess you could say that, no, 783 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,060 So,,, 784 00:38:21,060 --> 00:38:23,080 crazy reason number three, 785 00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:26,080 He says he has nothing left to say to me, 786 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,150 After 23 years, he says he is all talked out 787 00:38:29,150 --> 00:38:31,000 as far as I am concerned, 788 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,200 And he's not interested in listening 789 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,220 to anything I have to say, either, 790 00:38:34,220 --> 00:38:37,030 Now, is that a crazy reason or not? 791 00:38:37,030 --> 00:38:39,040 I mean, don't you have times 792 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,080 when you don't have anything to say to your wife? 793 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,160 Yes, ma'am, 794 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,190 Is that a reason for divorce 795 00:38:45,190 --> 00:38:47,040 or killing? 796 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:48,140 I have been married 797 00:38:48,140 --> 00:38:52,010 just as long as he has, you know, 798 00:38:52,010 --> 00:38:54,120 Crazy reason number four, 799 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:57,160 Because I clutter up the bathroom, 800 00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,200 Well, what woman doesn't clutter up the bathroom? 801 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,200 I have--I have cosmetics, 802 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,080 I have cleansers, 803 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,040 I have shampoos, 804 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,120 I try to keep as much as I can on the dresser, 805 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,040 but where am I to put all the rest? 806 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,040 In the closet? 807 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,210 Where does your wife keep her cosmetics? 808 00:39:17,210 --> 00:39:20,020 In the bathroom, ma'am, 809 00:39:20,020 --> 00:39:21,220 Ah, There you are, 810 00:39:21,220 --> 00:39:24,060 And crazy reason number five,,, 811 00:39:24,060 --> 00:39:26,170 STANLEY: Excuse me, Mrs, Turchin, but, uh,,, 812 00:39:28,020 --> 00:39:29,150 I think I got a pretty good grasp 813 00:39:29,150 --> 00:39:31,080 of the situation right now, 814 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,040 Yes, sir, 815 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,120 Gonna call your husband up on the telephone, 816 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,010 ask him to come down here, 817 00:39:36,010 --> 00:39:38,020 and I'll have a little talk with him, hmm? 818 00:39:38,020 --> 00:39:41,120 Oh, I'm so glad, 819 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:42,230 Oh, 820 00:39:42,230 --> 00:39:45,000 I think you can talk some sense into him, 821 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,130 Ulster-8-9945, 822 00:39:47,130 --> 00:39:50,130 Bernard W, Turchin, 823 00:39:50,130 --> 00:39:52,190 Would you like me to, uh,,, 824 00:39:52,190 --> 00:39:54,130 - wait while you call him? - BEVERLOW: No, no, 825 00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:56,190 No, that won't be necessary, Mrs, Turchin, 826 00:39:56,190 --> 00:39:58,060 I'm just gonna call him up 827 00:39:58,060 --> 00:39:59,200 and ask him to come down here, you know, 828 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,150 You run along home, 829 00:40:01,150 --> 00:40:03,170 and we'll just have a little chat then, that's all, 830 00:40:03,170 --> 00:40:05,130 Thank you, 831 00:40:05,130 --> 00:40:07,070 Thank you, 832 00:40:07,070 --> 00:40:08,130 I don't know what I would've done, 833 00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:11,030 - Ah, - FRANCES: Just today, 834 00:40:11,030 --> 00:40:12,180 on the way over here, 835 00:40:12,180 --> 00:40:14,100 I was standing right out in the street, 836 00:40:14,100 --> 00:40:16,050 thinking about it, and-- 837 00:40:17,230 --> 00:40:19,110 I told you about that, didn't I? 838 00:40:19,110 --> 00:40:21,070 You mean about the girl pulling you back 839 00:40:21,070 --> 00:40:23,000 from in front of a bus, yeah, 840 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,150 FRANCES: Well, you see? You see what he's made me? 841 00:40:25,150 --> 00:40:27,010 A week he gives me at the most, 842 00:40:27,010 --> 00:40:30,020 I just hope I'll get home all right, 843 00:40:30,020 --> 00:40:32,050 Well, I'd be glad to have one of the officers 844 00:40:32,050 --> 00:40:33,230 drive you home, ma'am, 845 00:40:33,230 --> 00:40:36,200 No, No, I'll be all right, 846 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,130 Oh, I feel so much better 847 00:40:39,130 --> 00:40:42,200 just having talked to you about it, 848 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,000 If only he'd just stop that killing me, killing me, 849 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,160 killing me, killing me, 850 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,220 - Okay, - Yes, 851 00:40:48,220 --> 00:40:50,170 System's foolproof, he says, 852 00:40:50,170 --> 00:40:53,040 Anybody could do it, just anybody, 853 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,000 All they have to do is follow his instructions, 854 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,090 Can you imagine? 855 00:40:57,090 --> 00:41:01,160 Isn't that the craziest thing you ever heard of? 856 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,000 Well,,, 857 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,010 thank you, 858 00:41:04,010 --> 00:41:05,180 Quite all right, ma'am, 859 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,010 You have the number now? 860 00:41:08,010 --> 00:41:09,090 - BEVERLOW: Yeah, - Ulster-8-9,,, 861 00:41:09,090 --> 00:41:12,030 9945, got it right here, 862 00:41:12,030 --> 00:41:13,120 Yes, that's right, 863 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,050 BEVERLOW: Bye, Mrs, Turchin, 864 00:41:17,050 --> 00:41:18,070 Thank you again, 865 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,160 ( door closes ) 866 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,110 ( car horn honking ) 867 00:41:31,110 --> 00:41:32,210 ( tires screeching ) 868 00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:34,000 ( woman screams ) 869 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,060 ( crash ) 870 00:41:39,110 --> 00:41:42,090 ( crowd shouting ) 871 00:42:02,170 --> 00:42:05,130 Uh, Hello, Is there a Mr,,, Mr, Turchin there, please? 872 00:42:05,130 --> 00:42:06,230 ( siren ) 873 00:42:06,230 --> 00:42:08,050 Oh? 874 00:42:08,050 --> 00:42:10,200 Mr, Bernard W, Turchin? 875 00:42:11,220 --> 00:42:13,230 Uh, how do you do, sir? 876 00:42:13,230 --> 00:42:15,030 No, you don't know me, 877 00:42:15,030 --> 00:42:17,200 My name is Beverlow, 878 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,160 Sergeant Stanley Beverlow 879 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:22,070 down at the 14th Precinct station, 880 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,050 Yeah, Well, I was wondering 881 00:42:26,050 --> 00:42:28,090 if you could come down here and have a little talk with me, 882 00:42:28,090 --> 00:42:30,200 - It's, uh,,,Oh, no, - ( siren grows louder ) 883 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,200 No, no, nothing official, 884 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,190 Actually, it's kind of a, uh,,, kind of a personal matter, 885 00:42:35,190 --> 00:42:37,120 Yeah, 886 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,220 Well, if you could, it'd be just fine, 887 00:42:39,220 --> 00:42:42,110 Sometime this afternoon say? 888 00:42:42,110 --> 00:42:44,000 Huh? 4:30? 889 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,060 It'll be fine, I'll be off-duty then, 890 00:42:45,060 --> 00:42:46,210 ( siren blaring, crowd conversing ) 891 00:42:46,210 --> 00:42:49,050 All right, Mr, Turchin, 892 00:42:49,050 --> 00:42:50,220 Thank you, sir, 893 00:42:50,220 --> 00:42:52,220 Thank you very much, 894 00:42:52,220 --> 00:42:54,000 Good-bye, 895 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,220 ( siren blaring ) 896 00:43:06,010 --> 00:43:08,110 Here, we have a cameo dandy, 897 00:43:08,110 --> 00:43:09,180 Problem? 898 00:43:09,180 --> 00:43:11,100 How to flee the coop, 899 00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:13,120 how to make tracks away from the police 900 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,190 and unhappy peers, 901 00:43:15,190 --> 00:43:18,110 Ship out to safer climes, 902 00:43:18,110 --> 00:43:21,160 The story of a chap, who, if he'd it to do over again, 903 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,220 would have remained where he was, 904 00:43:23,220 --> 00:43:25,150 He finds out that he is precisely 905 00:43:25,150 --> 00:43:27,210 what is the title of the picture, 906 00:43:27,210 --> 00:43:28,230 "Dead Weight," 907 00:43:28,230 --> 00:43:31,210 ( music playing ) 908 00:43:43,060 --> 00:43:45,080 ( ship's horn blaring ) 909 00:43:46,230 --> 00:43:48,040 ( buoy clanging ) 910 00:43:52,210 --> 00:43:58,230 ( fog horn blowing ) 911 00:44:04,050 --> 00:44:05,050 ( knock on door ) 912 00:44:05,050 --> 00:44:06,180 Come in, sir, Come in, 913 00:44:06,180 --> 00:44:09,000 - Well, Mr, Landau, - ( water cooler gurgles ) 914 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,140 I'm happy to announce that you'll be out of the country 915 00:44:11,140 --> 00:44:13,120 by this time tomorrow with no trouble, sir, 916 00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,200 No trouble whatsoever, 917 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,060 As I've already explained, 918 00:44:17,060 --> 00:44:19,170 my system is absolutely foolproof, 919 00:44:19,170 --> 00:44:22,100 On that, sir, I pledge my word, 920 00:44:22,100 --> 00:44:24,010 Your word, huh, Mr, Bullivant? 921 00:44:24,010 --> 00:44:26,010 Well, for $15,000, 922 00:44:26,010 --> 00:44:27,120 I'm gonna need more collateral than that, 923 00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,010 But you have it, sir, 924 00:44:29,010 --> 00:44:30,070 You have it, 925 00:44:30,070 --> 00:44:32,230 The unsullied reputation of my firm, 926 00:44:32,230 --> 00:44:34,230 Over 47 years in business 927 00:44:34,230 --> 00:44:36,100 at the same location, 928 00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,230 and not one customer complaint, 929 00:44:38,230 --> 00:44:40,180 Well, I figure if anything goes wrong, 930 00:44:40,180 --> 00:44:43,050 I don't get me a chance to get a refund, 931 00:44:43,050 --> 00:44:45,060 not from a cell on death row, 932 00:44:45,060 --> 00:44:46,190 You know what I mean? 933 00:44:46,190 --> 00:44:48,200 Now, Mr, Landau, 934 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,060 place yourself in my hands, 935 00:44:52,090 --> 00:44:53,210 And never again 936 00:44:53,210 --> 00:44:56,070 will you see the inside of a cell, 937 00:44:56,070 --> 00:44:57,210 You talk a good game, 938 00:44:57,210 --> 00:45:00,110 I do more than talk, sir, 939 00:45:00,110 --> 00:45:03,090 I am a man of highly ethical principles, 940 00:45:03,090 --> 00:45:07,060 If I thought myself incapable of honoring my promises, 941 00:45:07,060 --> 00:45:09,040 I would enter some other line of work, 942 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,080 ( ship's horn blares ) 943 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,020 You, uh,,, 944 00:45:13,020 --> 00:45:14,160 You tell me I can go anyplace I want in this world? 945 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:15,230 I mean, anywhere? 946 00:45:15,230 --> 00:45:18,070 Any place at all, Mr, Landau, 947 00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:19,120 You just name it, 948 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,180 Interestingly enough, 949 00:45:21,180 --> 00:45:23,130 I had one customer-- 950 00:45:23,130 --> 00:45:24,180 a rather whimsical chap-- 951 00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:26,140 who opted for Red China, 952 00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:28,130 And he arrived in Peking 953 00:45:28,130 --> 00:45:31,050 two years before the ping-pong team, 954 00:45:31,050 --> 00:45:33,000 Yes, Mr, Landau, 955 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,120 nothing is too challenging 956 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,180 for Bullivant and Company, nothing, 957 00:45:36,180 --> 00:45:38,120 I was thinking South America, 958 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,020 Yeah, South America, 959 00:45:40,020 --> 00:45:41,180 Splendid, splendid, 960 00:45:41,180 --> 00:45:43,100 A capital idea, 961 00:45:43,100 --> 00:45:47,180 Uh, might I suggest Buenos Aires? 962 00:45:47,180 --> 00:45:50,040 Rio has become a bit overdone of late, 963 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:51,190 if you know what I mean, 964 00:45:51,190 --> 00:45:53,100 I don't know what you're talking about, 965 00:45:53,100 --> 00:45:57,010 I mean, for $15,000, it's--I just don't know, 966 00:45:57,010 --> 00:45:58,150 Well, 967 00:45:58,150 --> 00:46:00,210 you can always take your business elsewhere, 968 00:46:00,210 --> 00:46:02,100 There is no somewhere else, 969 00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:03,130 And even if there was, there's no time, 970 00:46:03,130 --> 00:46:05,010 You read the papers? 971 00:46:05,010 --> 00:46:06,150 They got me splattered all over the front page, 972 00:46:06,150 --> 00:46:08,160 I got more space than the last moon shot, 973 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,020 I'm surprised I got over here 974 00:46:10,020 --> 00:46:12,050 before some joker put the finger on me, 975 00:46:12,050 --> 00:46:14,050 Oh, in that case, Mr, Landau,,, 976 00:46:14,050 --> 00:46:15,150 ( water cooler gurgles ) 977 00:46:15,150 --> 00:46:19,100 15,000 is not such an extravagant expense, 978 00:46:19,100 --> 00:46:20,190 As a matter of fact, 979 00:46:20,190 --> 00:46:23,190 unless the reports are greatly exaggerated, 980 00:46:23,190 --> 00:46:26,090 you will show a profit of, uh,,, 981 00:46:26,090 --> 00:46:29,000 oh, better than $200,000 for your efforts, 982 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,110 Do you know what I had to go through to get this, old man? 983 00:46:31,110 --> 00:46:33,150 ( water cooler gurgles ) 984 00:46:35,230 --> 00:46:37,170 BULLIVANT: Two bank guards, 985 00:46:37,170 --> 00:46:39,190 one teller, 986 00:46:39,190 --> 00:46:41,190 and a six-year-old child, 987 00:46:41,190 --> 00:46:43,050 Tsk tsk tsk, 988 00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:45,100 I suppose the child was necessary, 989 00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:47,000 He got in the way of a bullet, 990 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,020 What was I supposed to do, whistle it back? 991 00:46:49,020 --> 00:46:51,070 There was lead flying all over the place, 992 00:46:51,070 --> 00:46:52,170 Besides, what was a kid his age 993 00:46:52,170 --> 00:46:54,110 doing on the street at 10:00 in the morning? 994 00:46:54,110 --> 00:46:56,110 Why wasn't he in school where he belonged? 995 00:46:56,110 --> 00:46:57,130 Why wasn't he in school? 996 00:46:57,130 --> 00:46:59,070 Well, I guess 997 00:46:59,070 --> 00:47:01,210 that'll teach the little rascal not to play hooky, 998 00:47:01,210 --> 00:47:04,170 Are you playing some sort of a game with me or what? 999 00:47:04,170 --> 00:47:07,210 I, sir? Heaven forbid, 1000 00:47:07,210 --> 00:47:09,200 - ( water cooler gurgles ) - Uh, let's see, 1001 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,180 Well, Mr, Landau, the hour is growing late, 1002 00:47:11,180 --> 00:47:13,060 There's much to be done, 1003 00:47:13,060 --> 00:47:15,120 If I'm to put the machinery in motion,,, 1004 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,030 You sure nothing can go wrong, huh? 1005 00:47:17,030 --> 00:47:18,180 What could go wrong, sir? 1006 00:47:18,180 --> 00:47:20,110 I am an exporter, 1007 00:47:20,110 --> 00:47:22,110 And you, sir, are simply another consignment 1008 00:47:22,110 --> 00:47:24,040 of outward cargo 1009 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,100 bound for Argentina, 1010 00:47:28,230 --> 00:47:30,040 LANDAU: Well, you just make sure you take good care 1011 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,150 of the merchandise, 1012 00:47:31,150 --> 00:47:35,000 I handle everything with care, Mr, Landau, 1013 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,170 That is why after 47 years, 1014 00:47:37,170 --> 00:47:39,080 I am still in business, 1015 00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,190 ( chuckling ) 1016 00:47:41,190 --> 00:47:45,040 Forty-seven years in the same job? 1017 00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,050 Are you kidding? 1018 00:47:47,050 --> 00:47:50,090 For me, that'd be like pulling hard time, 1019 00:47:50,090 --> 00:47:52,070 I'd rather do a stretch on a rock pile, 1020 00:47:52,070 --> 00:47:55,090 ( laughs ) Forty-seven years, 1021 00:47:55,090 --> 00:47:57,160 Ah, well, to each his own, 1022 00:48:00,010 --> 00:48:02,200 Would you join me in a little sherry, Mr, Landau? 1023 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,100 LANDAU: Sherry? 1024 00:48:04,100 --> 00:48:06,070 What, are you crackers? That's for old biddies, 1025 00:48:06,070 --> 00:48:08,150 Ain't you got nothing with a,,, with a little more muscle, huh? 1026 00:48:08,150 --> 00:48:11,000 I'm afraid not, 1027 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,140 Perhaps it's merely foolish superstition, 1028 00:48:14,140 --> 00:48:17,220 Let's put it down to the eccentricity of an old man, 1029 00:48:17,220 --> 00:48:20,180 But I always like to, uh, 1030 00:48:20,180 --> 00:48:24,040 complete a transaction by sealing the bargain 1031 00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,020 with a toast, 1032 00:48:26,020 --> 00:48:28,010 Would you indulge with me, sir? 1033 00:48:28,010 --> 00:48:31,020 I mean, uh, what could it hurt, right? 1034 00:48:31,020 --> 00:48:33,010 Right, Godspeed, 1035 00:48:33,010 --> 00:48:34,140 Yeah, whatever, 1036 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,230 Now,,,you know, I was, uh,,, 1037 00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:42,150 I was thinking about that kid you were talking about, 1038 00:48:42,150 --> 00:48:45,170 He ran right in front of my line of fire, 1039 00:48:45,170 --> 00:48:48,050 I put a ,45 slug in him, 1040 00:48:48,050 --> 00:48:50,120 Six years old, You could drop a-- 1041 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,200 You could drop a elephant with a ,45 slug, 1042 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:57,060 ( creaking ) 1043 00:48:57,060 --> 00:48:59,010 ( water cooler gurgles ) 1044 00:48:59,010 --> 00:49:01,210 ( gasping ) 1045 00:49:03,100 --> 00:49:06,210 ( easy listening instrumental music playing ) 1046 00:49:06,210 --> 00:49:08,100 ( knock on door ) 1047 00:49:08,100 --> 00:49:09,200 DELIVERY BOY: Come to pick up some air freight, 1048 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,070 LAX to Buenos Aires? 1049 00:49:11,070 --> 00:49:12,160 It'll be ready in a moment or two, 1050 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,030 Would you mind giving me a hand? 1051 00:49:14,030 --> 00:49:15,230 I've got to nail this lid down, 1052 00:49:15,230 --> 00:49:17,070 Dog food, huh? 1053 00:49:17,070 --> 00:49:18,130 My Pomeranian's off her feed, 1054 00:49:18,130 --> 00:49:20,100 Do you think if I switch to your brand,,, 1055 00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:22,150 I'm afraid you won't find this stocked on the shelves 1056 00:49:22,150 --> 00:49:24,120 of your neighborhood supermarket, young man, 1057 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,110 This is strictly for exportation, 1058 00:49:26,110 --> 00:49:27,210 For export only, huh? 1059 00:49:27,210 --> 00:49:29,160 Must be pretty expensive merchandise, 1060 00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:32,000 Well, there've been some complaints, 1061 00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:33,170 but in the end, the customer 1062 00:49:33,170 --> 00:49:35,210 invariably pays the price, 1063 00:49:35,210 --> 00:49:38,070 Well, you get what you pay for in this life, I guess, 1064 00:49:38,070 --> 00:49:39,220 Indeed you do, young man, 1065 00:49:39,220 --> 00:49:41,230 - Indeed you do, - ( hammering ) 1066 00:49:41,230 --> 00:49:43,090 And if you'll forgive a boast, 1067 00:49:43,090 --> 00:49:45,110 I think I can say it was pardonable pride, 1068 00:49:45,110 --> 00:49:47,160 there's not another manufacturer in the country 1069 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:50,080 who can duplicate the secret recipe, 1070 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:51,160 ( hammering ) 1071 00:49:54,090 --> 00:49:56,120 My goodness, how time flies, 1072 00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,080 We must hurry, young man, hurry, 1073 00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,130 Wouldn't do to miss the plane, 1074 00:49:59,130 --> 00:50:01,020 Wouldn't do at all, 1075 00:50:01,020 --> 00:50:02,070 I promised my customer 1076 00:50:02,070 --> 00:50:04,230 this would leave the country today, 1077 00:50:04,230 --> 00:50:06,160 And in the 47 years, 1078 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,230 I've never failed a pledge, 1079 00:50:18,190 --> 00:50:20,140 ( water cooler gurgles ) 1080 00:50:23,110 --> 00:50:26,150 ( music playing ) 77394