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1
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:06,667
Twelve is an exciting age
for a gentleman.
2
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:10,167
An exciting, terrifying age
when new, odd thoughts arise.
3
00:00:11,833 --> 00:00:14,667
Sometimes these thoughts
are brought on by tennis ladies.
4
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:18,033
Sweaty, grunty,
Argentinean tennis ladies.
5
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:21,500
This woman is like a walking
advert for cough drops.
6
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:22,700
And deodorant.
7
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:28,033
She'll be off now
to gargle some TCP.
8
00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:31,667
Sometimes these thoughts
are brought on by bathing ladies.
9
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:35,100
Blonde, fairytale
bathing ladies.
10
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:39,367
This is the moment when Martin
realised that some cleaning is actually dirty.
11
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,267
What on earth is that?
12
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,400
How's it going, spanners?
13
00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:49,367
Uncle Danny!
14
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,400
Hey!
15
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:52,733
You look so tanned.
16
00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:56,033
Just got off the yacht,
didn't I? - SINEAD: A yacht?
17
00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:58,033
- How's it going, bro?
- How are you, Dan?
18
00:00:58,733 --> 00:01:00,933
- How do I look?
- Well, uh...
19
00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,333
Ah, there's me favourite nephew.
20
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,533
Come over here
and embrace me, you little twerp.
21
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,433
Hi, Uncle Danny. I feel faint.
22
00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:13,133
Nothing to see here.
23
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:23,367
* Dancing at the disco,
bumper to bumper
24
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,800
* Wait a minute,
where's me jumper
25
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:28,567
* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper
26
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,700
* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper Oh, no *
27
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:39,367
And Belgrade has this
amazing water festival every fall.
28
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,733
Wow, you say fall now.
Like they do in 90210.
29
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:44,733
- I suppose I do.
- Amazing.
30
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:46,300
Daniel Moone was a busker
31
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:49,267
who left Ireland a year ago
to embark on a rock 'n' roll lifestyle.
32
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,967
They call that
coffee "a cap of chino".
33
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:54,300
Travelling around Europe,
sleeping under bridges
34
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:56,233
and basically behaving
like a homeless person.
35
00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:57,733
What was Yugoslavia like?
36
00:01:57,767 --> 00:02:03,067
Oh, amazing. Good people.
Really good people. Good hearts.
37
00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:05,067
-What about Venice?
- Oh, Venice!
38
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,467
- Indescribable, really.
- Amazing.
39
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,400
- He didn't say anything, Martin.
- Yes, he did.
40
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:13,133
He said it was
indescribable. Deaf-head.
41
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:17,067
This is what happens when you
pitch a tent in Lyon in the dark.
42
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,900
Was that
a traffic island?
43
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:23,433
Nothing like waking up to
the beautiful sound of French horns in the morning.
44
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,867
'Cause it's an instrument, too.
45
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:32,233
Oh, because it's a sound
that a car makes in France,
46
00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:33,400
but it's also a trumpet.
47
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:35,400
- Exactly.
- Oh!
48
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:37,300
Oh, you're right.
That's so good.
49
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:40,100
Funny and clever,
'cause it's two things.
50
00:02:40,133 --> 00:02:42,800
Its two things!
51
00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:46,767
Hey, any more thoughts
on last night's trouser incident?
52
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,567
Oh, my God. What was that?
53
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,267
Maybe an allergy thing?
Oh, had you eaten strawberries?
54
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,800
- Don't think so.
- Oh.
55
00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:57,400
I'll tell you something,
it was not pleasant.
56
00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:58,900
I wouldn't worry
about it, buddy.
57
00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:02,900
It's probably just some kind
of infection, you know, possibly fungal.
58
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:07,733
Maybe get yourself
a bag of frozen peas or a small rock-hammer.
59
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:10,633
I think I'll ask around first.
See if it's catching.
60
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:13,167
So you started
to pitch the old tent, huh?
61
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:17,667
You're flying the flesh flag.
Building the dirty snowman.
62
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,767
Been there, kid. Been there.
63
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,800
- So... What does it mean?
- I don't know.
64
00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:34,467
Um, Daniel, if you're looking
for that old guitar you left here,
65
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:35,567
I tucked it away for you.
66
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,967
Janeane? Where did you put her?
67
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,800
Not somewhere damp, I hope.
68
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,567
Wouldn't want her
fretboard to get warped.
69
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,167
Oh, don't worry, Dan.
70
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:47,067
We kept Janeane in a strictly
moisture-controlled environment for you.
71
00:03:50,133 --> 00:03:51,833
I was thinking I might
head out and see Dad later.
72
00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:54,467
Ah! I'm sure he'd love to
see you. He can have visitors until 9:00.
73
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:56,567
What are you talking about?
74
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:00,867
You didn't put him
in a home, did you? - Don't call it the...
75
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,067
He loves it up there.
76
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,233
He's flirting away with
all the bed-bound women.
77
00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:08,067
You could've
talked to me about it. - LIAM: And I do that how?
78
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:11,800
By scrawling a message
on a toilet door in Berlin?
79
00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:14,300
They must be much happier
since they got rid of that old wall.
80
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:15,500
I'm here now, amn't I?
81
00:04:15,533 --> 00:04:17,533
And you can imagine how
blessed we all feel about that.
82
00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:21,067
Although our back wall came
down there recently and it was a right pain.
83
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,700
I think I'll head out there
now, actually.
84
00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:24,867
Hang on.
85
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,500
We'll both go out
and see him later, if you like.
86
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:33,367
At least Boyle is
relatively Nazi-free.
87
00:04:37,433 --> 00:04:38,433
Talking to myself now.
88
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,900
Have you used any public
swimming facilities lately?
89
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,700
They're a breeding
ground for funguses.
90
00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:48,500
- Fungi.
- Fungi, I mean.
91
00:04:48,533 --> 00:04:52,700
No, but last week, Mam
defrosted a chicken while I was taking a bath.
92
00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:55,467
Oh, oh, yeah.
That's your culprit.
93
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,167
It's just some kind of
groin-based salmonella, I'd say.
94
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,633
Fingers crossed.
95
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,533
-Marty.
- Oh. Hiya!
96
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:03,567
Who are you talking to?
97
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,067
Uh... You! We're talking.
98
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:09,167
You said,
"Marty", then I said, "Hiya."
99
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,867
Then you said,
"Who are you talking to?"
100
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:14,867
And then I started talking
and I haven't stopped since.
101
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,200
You don't still have
that imaginary friend, do you?
102
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:21,200
Sean Murphy? No.
103
00:05:22,933 --> 00:05:25,867
- What are you now, 11?
- 12.
104
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,367
Yeah, leave your coat on,
we're going to the nursing home to see Granddad.
105
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,833
- But it's not Christmas.
- We don't just visit at Christmas.
106
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,600
Fine, but if I see one sprout...
107
00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:44,067
It just broadens the mind,
you know? Course you do.
108
00:05:45,267 --> 00:05:48,567
Promise me, though,
you'll never take Hungarian acid.
109
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,733
Okey-dokey.
110
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,067
Seriously, bro, it's lethal!
111
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:54,633
Well, acid burns
through everything, doesn't it?
112
00:05:57,967 --> 00:05:59,700
It's simple
fourth class science.
113
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:05,067
That's a little pub in Croatia
we used to go to.
114
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:06,267
Are we allowed
to turn on the TV?
115
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,933
Sinead.
116
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:11,167
This is on the ferry,
out to one of the islands.
117
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,400
- Is there no pictures of you?
- Well, I was taking them all, so.
118
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:19,800
Ah, that was one of
my favourite places for busking.
119
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,733
So you're still playing, huh?
120
00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:26,067
Well, I couldn't let those
lessons you gave me go to waste, could I?
121
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:27,467
Are you eating
that jelly, Granddad?
122
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:31,167
Oh, help yourself, Michael.
It's like rubber offal.
123
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,767
Rubber offal!
I'm sure it's not that bad.
124
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,800
Do you want to eat it?
125
00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:39,667
I like all jellies.
126
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,700
It's great to
see you again, son.
127
00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:45,667
It's getting late.
We'd better shoot off.
128
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:51,700
- See you soon, Dad.
- Yeah, at Christmas.
129
00:06:51,733 --> 00:06:52,733
Oh, yeah.
130
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:54,833
Yeah.
131
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,333
Right, come on.
132
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,267
Take care of yourself, Joe.
133
00:07:08,933 --> 00:07:09,933
We'll be in the car.
134
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:18,900
It's just you
and me now, Madge,
135
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,600
with your lovely eyes
and big hairy nose.
136
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,600
Janeane.
137
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:43,567
Piece of piss.
138
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,067
What the hell?
139
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:02,667
Good night, Sean Murphy.
140
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,233
I said good night, deaf-head.
141
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,433
Sean? Where the hell are you?
142
00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:20,467
Indeed,
where the hell was I?
143
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:25,067
Actually I was here,
having a nice, relaxing pint
144
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,967
with all the other
rejected imaginary friends.
145
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,067
You hustling me?
146
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,467
- Can I play the winner?
- We'll play doubles.
147
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,767
I haven't been rejected.
Just come here when Padraic's kippin'.
148
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,900
We've got
the mystery of the...
149
00:08:41,933 --> 00:08:45,067
Drinking tea
and watching The Late Late Show.
150
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,067
Another wild
night in Boyle, eh?
151
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:49,567
If there's somewhere else
you'd rather be, no one's stopping ya.
152
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,733
The question is
is that a duck or a drake?
153
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:54,500
Where else would you see
a potato shaped like a duck?
154
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:56,067
Saw a lot of
things in Amsterdam.
155
00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:58,067
Save the wacky-backy
stories for the kids, will you?
156
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,733
Anyone want
the last Jammie Dodger?
157
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,967
Man, you know what?
158
00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:05,067
I've been getting this really
resentful vibe off you ever since I got back.
159
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,300
Jammie Dodger? Jammie Dodger.
160
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:07,867
- Have you now?
- I have, yeah.
161
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,900
Seems like
a jealously thing to me, man.
162
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:12,700
Can you stop calling me "man"?
163
00:09:12,733 --> 00:09:14,500
I'm not some fella
you stole marijuana off.
164
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:17,400
Or bought marijuana from.
165
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,933
Okay, Liam,
I'll avoid calling you a man in future.
166
00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:24,900
You'll have to wait. You won't have to wait long.
167
00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,300
It's a drake.
168
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,267
That looks
nothing like a duck.
169
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,767
New balls, please.
170
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:51,267
New balls, please.
171
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,300
New balls.
172
00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:56,800
New balls, please.
173
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:58,933
Everything's getting wet.
174
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,500
I need new balls.
175
00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,933
- I need new balls.
- What?
176
00:10:05,967 --> 00:10:06,967
Oh, hey.
177
00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:08,833
Hi.
178
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:12,433
- You all right?
- Yeah. Great. Great.
179
00:10:15,967 --> 00:10:17,433
Everything okay
down there, bud?
180
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,500
Yeah.
181
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:20,200
Dry as a bone.
182
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,200
Martin,
get up for school.
183
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:32,400
Gotta go.
Dreams are mad, aren't they?
184
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,133
Mine are extremely boring.
185
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,033
"Hey, why don't you
take a chill-pill, man?"
186
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,533
"Oh, yeah, what's that?
187
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,133
"Daniel, the reason
I can't take a chill-pill
188
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,633
"is 'cause I've
got bills-bills."
189
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,033
Are you not
talking to me?
190
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:04,067
Sounded like you were having
a fake argument with yourself there, bro.
191
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:06,767
I was making some
brilliant points, too.
192
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,833
You'd have been stumped.
193
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:15,067
Look, I probably went
a bit over the top last night.
194
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:18,067
Ah, we both went
a bit over the top. - You especially.
195
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,467
Listen, there's
actually something else I wanted to bring up.
196
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,533
Well, I'm a bit unrehearsed
for that now.
197
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:27,067
It's about Martin.
198
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:31,100
So the dams burst, huh?
The trawlers went out to sea?
199
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:33,067
The choo-choo's
left willy station?
200
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,900
Been there, kid. Been there.
201
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,467
You don't know
what it means, do you? - Not a clue.
202
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:44,067
I have a theory about it
being related to cloud formations,
203
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:45,500
but there's no real
science behind it.
204
00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:47,600
I appreciate your honesty.
205
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:50,567
So, what did you
do with the sheets?
206
00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:57,833
- You brought them to school?
- What else could I do?
207
00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,533
I didn't have
time to bury them.
208
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:06,233
- He was just 14 years old.
- Oh!
209
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,867
Foreign exchange student told
him that imaginary friends were for babies, baby.
210
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,967
Oh, what a dick!
211
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,900
Where was he from,
this overseas dream-wrecker?
212
00:12:15,933 --> 00:12:20,067
- Florence, I think he said.
- Bloody Spaniards.
213
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,767
What with
the lack of imagination and the bull murdering.
214
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:26,100
I hate Spaniards!
215
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:33,367
What the... Where's Crunchie
"Danger" Haystacks gone?
216
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,333
Home.
217
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,233
No, I think you're wrong.
218
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,533
Tigers are
definitely female lions.
219
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,100
It just doesn't seem right.
220
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:47,933
- Crunchie "Danger" Haystacks?
- That's my name.
221
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,167
Tigers are female lions, right?
222
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,300
They certainly taste the same.
223
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:53,133
He agrees with me.
224
00:12:55,833 --> 00:13:00,833
Hey, Sean's kinda gone
missing. Does Crunchie ever go on holiday?
225
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,800
He went
snorkelling in a volcano with Bigfoot once,
226
00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:05,533
but he was back by morning.
227
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,900
- Weren't ya, Crunchie?
- It wasn't worth me while, pal.
228
00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:10,567
Terrible visibility, lava.
229
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,167
So, wait a second,
are you taking the lead on this or...
230
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,200
- What? No, I thought you were.
- No.
231
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:26,800
No, that's fine.
I was just...
232
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:29,233
I didn't know
if you wanted to. I just... I'm fine.
233
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,200
You're sure you don't want
my input on this?
234
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:34,333
I know the lingo.
235
00:13:34,367 --> 00:13:37,967
I know the lingo.
I invented the feckin' lingo.
236
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,500
I just thought he might find
it a little less embarrassing if it came from me.
237
00:13:41,533 --> 00:13:44,700
Daniel, thanks. I've got it.
238
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:45,933
Suit yourself.
239
00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:48,733
Martin!
Welcome home, darling.
240
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:52,500
Martin, please, come and join
us here at the table, will you, please?
241
00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:53,533
Thanks for coming in.
242
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:56,067
Good to see you.
243
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:58,367
Good luck.
244
00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:01,267
Please, take a seat.
245
00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:06,200
Look at you there.
Here we are.
246
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:07,933
Right.
247
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:11,933
Actually, I think
I'll stay sat.
248
00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:14,467
- Can I stand?
-No.
249
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,533
It has come to our attention
that you've been the victim of a...
250
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:20,367
Bit of a night-time incident.
251
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,967
Oh, can a man not wet his own
bed in this house any more?
252
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,933
Listen, what's happening
is perfectly natural. Listen to me.
253
00:14:25,967 --> 00:14:28,200
- But I'm sleepy.
- Women.
254
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,633
Men.
255
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:36,067
What's it all about, huh?
Who knows?
256
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:40,433
Well, you don't know.
That's why we're doing this. So...
257
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:45,800
Girls are essentially
creatures of the night.
258
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:50,867
They're fascinating
and alluring and...
259
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,100
- Take your mother here.
- Please don't.
260
00:14:55,633 --> 00:15:00,500
Birds, bees and other winged...
261
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,333
God, I'm sleepy too.
262
00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:05,667
Penises.
263
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,767
Vaginas.
264
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,733
Marty, do you want to come
busking in town, buddy?
265
00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:19,767
Do I?
266
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:25,067
Well, that was something.
267
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:31,467
Not quite as
intense as me explaining periods to Sinead, but close.
268
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,600
What do you mean the moon
is going to make me bleed? I'll make the moon bleed!
269
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:40,567
"I know the lingo, man."
That's about all you feckin' know.
270
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,400
Jesus Christ!
271
00:15:42,433 --> 00:15:45,733
To be honest, Marty,
there's only so much I can teach you.
272
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:47,600
But I'm always here
for questions, okay?
273
00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:51,700
You're at a lovely stage now.
Enjoy it. Have fun.
274
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,467
Get yourself some girlie mags.
275
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,200
You'll figure
the rest out yourself.
276
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:57,067
Girlie mags. Right.
277
00:15:57,100 --> 00:16:00,367
Ah, I should've
brought some back from Germany.
278
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,933
When I was on tour with U2,
we had girlie mags on tap.
279
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:05,100
You were on tour with U2?
280
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:07,800
I was The Edge's roadie.
Used to look after his plectrums.
281
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,400
- Wow. What was he like?
- Oh, force of nature.
282
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:15,933
He was the real boss in that
band. Always made Bono carry his gear around.
283
00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:17,267
No!
284
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:21,200
I remember one
night after a show in Prague, I think it was.
285
00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:24,233
Couple of the roadies
were about to lift a big, heavy amp backstage
286
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:28,733
and The Edge came along
and said, "No. Leave it. Make Bono carry that."
287
00:16:28,767 --> 00:16:31,067
Aw, poor little Bono.
288
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,900
Hey, shall we do
a U2 song in tribute?
289
00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:36,067
Oh, yeah,
do Sunday Bloody Sunday!
290
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,167
- You like that one, eh?
- Yeah! I bloody hate Sundays.
291
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,667
Come on.
292
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,333
- Martin, we have to go now.
- * I can't believe the news today
293
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:47,800
* I can't close my eyes
and make it go away
294
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:51,233
* Sunday, Bloody Sunday
295
00:16:51,267 --> 00:16:53,833
* Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday *
296
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:54,867
Whoo!
297
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,433
Sorry we got
interrupted like that.
298
00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:03,400
I think we should probably
continue having that chat we were having.
299
00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:07,233
I think we got
as far as vaginas.
300
00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:09,333
It's okay, Dad.
Danny and I talked.
301
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:19,067
Girlie mags. Girlie mags.
302
00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:28,600
Read it. Read it. Read it.
303
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,867
I think you just have to
let it go, love.
304
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,333
You know, he doesn't mean it.
305
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:39,700
I don't think he knows
what he's saying half the time.
306
00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:41,367
Yeah.
307
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,100
Hey.
308
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,533
Look, I don't want
to have an argument
309
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:56,800
but I did say that I was
going to do the whole birds-and-bees thing.
310
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:04,067
Well, I just figured
I'm more experienced than you.
311
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:07,467
- All the travelling and all.
- Oh, not this shite again.
312
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,167
- Excuse me?
- What's the last country you were in?
313
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,633
Uh...
314
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:15,467
- Norway, I think.
- Norway?
315
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:18,600
Right. And tell us something.
316
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,167
Do you not need a passport
to get into Norway?
317
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:25,067
What are you talking about?
318
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,200
I found it in
your old guitar case.
319
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,600
Where have you been?
320
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:48,733
Carlow? What the hell
have you been doing in Carlow?
321
00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:50,600
Working in
a sugar beet factory.
322
00:18:50,633 --> 00:18:53,067
So, just so I get this straight.
323
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:57,700
For the last year you've been
working in a sugar beet factory in Leinster?
324
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:01,667
- Sometimes.
- Sometimes. Right.
325
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:06,500
Where did
you get the photos?
326
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:08,900
Found them on a bus.
327
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,667
LAUGHS)
328
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:15,633
- Funny, huh?
- Actually, that's quite funny, yeah.
329
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:18,533
Well, I'm happy
that you find my life so amusing.
330
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:31,667
Holy moly!
331
00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:35,067
Well, I'll not be doing
that again.
332
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,367
So, major update.
333
00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:49,733
Not now, Martin.
334
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,300
Sean? Sean!
335
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,600
Martin, get up!
336
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:40,300
- Where's Uncle Danny?
- He had to leave town.
337
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,100
Why? 'Cause you
were fighting again?
338
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:43,133
No.
339
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,133
He told me to tell you this.
340
00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:49,467
Bono needed him in Zagreb.
341
00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:54,700
- He said you'd understand.
- That bloody Edge!
342
00:20:57,533 --> 00:20:59,233
Martin, where are your sheets?
343
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:01,700
I got it.
344
00:21:04,933 --> 00:21:07,800
* Children playing
building castles on the shoreline
345
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:11,067
* Like a painted little love
and lord it feels so fine
346
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:12,333
* Don't go
347
00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:14,233
- So what's been going on?
- Nothing much.
348
00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:15,767
- Quite a week, yeah?
- Yeah.
349
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,367
Good man.
350
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,067
* While the sun smiles
351
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:23,067
* Stick around
and laugh a while yeah
352
00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:26,867
* Aha, aha *
27094
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