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♪ It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪
2
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:56,500
♪ everywhere you go ♪
3
00:00:56,667 --> 00:00:59,125
♪ take a look in the five and ten ♪
4
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,458
♪ glistenin' once again ♪
5
00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:05,958
♪ with candy canes and
silver lanes aglow ♪
6
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:11,125
♪ it's beginnin' to look
a lot like Christmas I
7
00:01:11,792 --> 00:01:14,667
♪ toys in every store ♪
8
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:16,375
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
9
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♪ but the prettiest sight to see ♪
10
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:21,333
♪ is the Holly that will be I
11
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♪ on your own front door ♪
12
00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:29,208
♪ a pair of hop along boots and
a pistol that shoots ♪
13
00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:31,625
♪ is the wish of Barney and Ben ♪
14
00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:34,170
♪ dolls that will talk and
will go for a walk ♪
15
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:36,625
♪ is the hope of Janice and Jen ♪
16
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,167
♪ and mom and dad can hardly wait for
school to start again ♪
17
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:46,708
♪ it's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪
18
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:51,500
♪ everywhere you go ♪
19
00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:54,417
♪ there's a tree in the grand hotel ♪
20
00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:56,708
♪ one in the park as well ♪
21
00:01:56,875 --> 00:02:01,542
♪ the sturdy kind that
doesn't mind the snow ♪
22
00:02:01,708 --> 00:02:06,708
♪ it's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪
23
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:10,542
♪ soon the bells will start ♪
24
00:02:10,708 --> 00:02:12,125
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
25
00:02:12,292 --> 00:02:14,750
♪ and the thing that'll make them ring ♪
26
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,250
♪ is the Carol that you sing ♪
27
00:02:17,417 --> 00:02:22,125
♪ right within your heart ♪
28
00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:48,000
♪ it's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪
29
00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:53,167
♪ toys in every store ♪
30
00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:57,000
♪ but the prettiest sight to see ♪
31
00:02:57,167 --> 00:03:01,000
♪ is the Holly that will be ♪
32
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:08,333
♪ on your own front door ♪
33
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:16,500
♪ sure, it's Christmas once more ♪
34
00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:26,542
I come tonight to warn you that
you will be visited by three spirits.
35
00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:28,042
What?
36
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,625
Was that the chance of hope
that you mentioned, Jacob?
37
00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:34,667
It was.
38
00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:39,208
And you have yet the chance
and hope of escaping my fate!
39
00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:42,667
A chance and hope of my procuring,
Ebenezer.
40
00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:44,625
Thank you, Jacob.
41
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:49,667
Expect the first when the bell tolls one.
42
00:03:49,917 --> 00:03:50,958
Shut up, Beth!
43
00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:52,875
I don't care who started it, Max!
44
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,417
Ben Kuklinski started it and
everybody knows it.
45
00:03:56,583 --> 00:03:58,101
You even have the whole thing on video!
46
00:03:58,125 --> 00:04:00,226
And you're gonna write
an apology to the rest of your class
47
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:02,434
- for ruining the recital.
- What were you thinking, Max?
48
00:04:02,458 --> 00:04:04,042
That kid was twice your size!
49
00:04:04,208 --> 00:04:06,833
Yeah, but Ben Kuklinski is always
ragging on Christmas.
50
00:04:07,042 --> 00:04:08,643
He even told the first graders that Santa
51
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:11,000
was just a cheap marketing ploy
invented to sell Pepsi.
52
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,833
- Coke.
- You know what I mean.
53
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,333
But not why you care.
54
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,583
Well, someone's gotta.
55
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,000
Here, let me see.
56
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:18,875
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
57
00:04:19,042 --> 00:04:21,042
Eh, it's not so bad.
Just keep icing it.
58
00:04:21,208 --> 00:04:23,625
And was drop-kicking him into the manger
59
00:04:23,792 --> 00:04:25,417
really the best way to handle this?
60
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:27,917
Okay, that was not my fault,
I was under the influence.
61
00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:30,917
All I had to eat was Christmas
fudge and candy canes!
62
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:32,559
Well, I hate to sound harsh,
63
00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:34,343
but every kid has to learn
the truth someday.
64
00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,208
Oh, I know, I just...
65
00:04:38,042 --> 00:04:39,208
I didn't want it ruined.
66
00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:41,375
For the little kids.
67
00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:44,208
But is this a war on Christmas,
68
00:04:44,375 --> 00:04:46,055
a war on over-political correctness, or...
69
00:04:46,125 --> 00:04:47,851
- Looks great, mom.
- A bunch of people who are just
70
00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:49,309
way too easily offended?
71
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:50,453
Don't work too hard, though,
72
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,667
Sarah bought a bunch of
cookies at the store.
73
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,375
It's Roger.
74
00:04:54,542 --> 00:04:56,393
Thought you said you weren't
working over Christmas?
75
00:04:56,417 --> 00:04:57,768
I said no traveling over Christmas,
76
00:04:57,792 --> 00:04:59,250
I still have to take a few calls.
77
00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:00,708
Hey, Roger, what's up?
78
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,955
Wait, guys, aren't we still gonna
watch Charlie brown
79
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:05,125
and wrap Christmas presents like always?
80
00:05:05,292 --> 00:05:08,333
You know what, after what you pulled,
you can do that alone, and quick!
81
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,820
Your cousins get here any minute.
82
00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:11,000
Yeah, Roger.
83
00:05:11,167 --> 00:05:13,167
Oh, it's a Christmas cluster-eff over here.
84
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:14,875
Beth, help me hang this.
85
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,757
Wait, mom, aren't we gonna
watch Charlie brown?
86
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,708
I started, but...
87
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:36,684
I don't know what to ask for this year.
88
00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,393
- Come here?
- Because they are
89
00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:39,726
our family, Beth!
90
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,184
- And it's only for a few days.
- Well, I'm not sharing my room
91
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,458
with girls who pee standing up!
92
00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:49,625
Last year I found shit in my bed, mom.
93
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:50,992
Human shit!
94
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,792
For the last time, that was their dog!
95
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:55,059
"They're why some people
shouldn't be allowed to breed!"
96
00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:57,042
Your words, mom, not mine!
97
00:05:57,542 --> 00:05:59,125
I never said that!
98
00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:02,601
I said maybe they should
have to take a test
99
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:03,905
before they're allowed to breed.
100
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,292
Thanks, Omi.
101
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:33,250
Omi?
102
00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:36,958
Do you still really believe in Santa?
103
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,542
What do you mean?
104
00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:04,292
♪ oh come let us adore him ♪
105
00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:23,333
Yeah, my cousins are crawling
outta the shallow end
106
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,958
of the gene pool, so
everyone's a little on edge.
107
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:27,809
Your mom popping Xanax again?
108
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,708
Like candy.
109
00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:33,875
Tonight we're making a Japanese
snowflake tree or some crap.
110
00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:36,226
Takes a lotta work
to make our family
111
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:38,018
look more awesome than it actually is,
you know?
112
00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:41,792
I like snowflakes,
but I like my plan a lot better.
113
00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:44,708
Very enticing,
114
00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:47,125
but I think I'm stuck here.
115
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,958
Come on, people have escaped
from Alcatraz before,
116
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:51,325
and I'm only four blocks away!
117
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:55,059
What?
118
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,226
What's wrong?
119
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,875
Everything.
120
00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:08,000
Oh, crap.
121
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,625
Oh, crap.
122
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:15,559
Will you two knock it off?
123
00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:17,059
Howie, stop ringing the doorbell!
124
00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:18,893
- Well, carry something!
- Howie, cut it out!
125
00:08:18,917 --> 00:08:21,184
Okay, it's Christmas.
126
00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,018
It's Christmas.
127
00:08:23,042 --> 00:08:24,667
It's Christmas.
128
00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:27,708
- Merry Christmas!
- Hey, sis, Merry Christmas.
129
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,958
Oh, gosh, I'm so glad you
guys could make it!
130
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,750
Oh, you have no idea!
131
00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,157
Accidents all over the freeways
132
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,417
and nothing but crazy talk
radio for six hours.
133
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,101
- Hey!
- We brought you a little taste of home,
134
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,042
- though, didn't we?
- Oh, wow!
135
00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:42,125
Thank you, it looks... wow!
136
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:44,101
- You're welcome.
- Come on, Linda, move it, move it!
137
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:45,768
We don't have to keep
the traffic jam going now.
138
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,512
- Howard, let me help you...
- Oh no, get...
139
00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:51,351
- It's all right, Tom.
- Thanks, Tommy.
140
00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:53,268
- Sorry about that.
- You give the Butler the night off,
141
00:08:53,292 --> 00:08:54,875
- did you?
- Ha ha, yeah.
142
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,250
Yeah, we, uh, brought Rosie.
143
00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:58,708
You don't have a cat, do you?
144
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,250
It's fine, it's fine, right?
It's fine.
145
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:03,125
Merry Christmas, girls!
Come on in!
146
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,792
Don't you look cute in
your matching jackets?
147
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:09,125
They're just a little cranky
'cause the steelers lost, so...
148
00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:11,412
Uh, Jordan, Stevie, why don't you
tell your aunt Sarah
149
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,333
about your presidential
fitness award, huh?
150
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,625
- It's a good story.
- Yeah.
151
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,417
- Yeah.
- Hey, Howie.
152
00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:23,333
So what'd you ask Santa for this year?
153
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:26,101
- They're really nice.
- They did look pretty good.
154
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,375
- It looks bigger in here.
- Um, toy car?
155
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:32,458
Look what Max has got
in his pocket. A letter to Santa.
156
00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:36,292
Video games?
157
00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:38,375
Phone?
158
00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:40,917
Dialysis?
159
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,518
- That long drive.
- Thank you. Thank you, guys.
160
00:09:46,833 --> 00:09:48,684
Where do you want this stuff,
Tom, just anywhere?
161
00:09:48,708 --> 00:09:49,750
Yeah, uh...
162
00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:52,792
Christ on a stick, would it kill you
to shove! Your walk?
163
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,958
I could've broken a hip out there!
164
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:56,792
Surprise!
165
00:09:56,958 --> 00:09:58,167
Please don't be mad.
166
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:03,250
Oh, aunt Dorothy,
it's so great to see you.
167
00:10:03,417 --> 00:10:06,417
Yeah, well, your sister's
no Mother Teresa,
168
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:09,458
but at least she swings by
every once in a while
169
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:11,125
to make sure that I'm not dead.
170
00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:13,417
So where's the nog?
171
00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:15,500
I need to get merry!
172
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:18,167
Uh, it... it's in the kitchen.
Help yourself.
173
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:21,500
- Oh, Tom, let me take that.
- Oh, hey! That's okay, that's okay.
174
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,250
Lord almighty.
175
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:25,625
Looks like Martha Stewart
threw up in here.
176
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,226
- We left the door open...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
177
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,410
- We're such a mess, honestly.
- Gosh!
178
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,708
- Six hours, I mean, come on!
- Uh...
179
00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:35,292
Sorry, wasn't there another...?
180
00:10:37,792 --> 00:10:38,792
Child?
181
00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:40,625
Chrissy! Darn it!
182
00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,750
Jordan, I told you to bring her inside!
183
00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:44,583
- Not my kid.
- Come on, girls!
184
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,268
- Tommy, help me get the baby...
- Yeah.
185
00:10:46,292 --> 00:10:48,101
And the rest of the girl crap
out of the truck.
186
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,268
Do you mind? Thank you.
187
00:10:49,292 --> 00:10:51,292
All right, let's make some memories, huh?
188
00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:55,375
Thank you, honey! Thank you!
Oh, my goodness.
189
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:57,583
A holiday roast is a surprise.
190
00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,125
Haemorrhoids are a surprise.
191
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,958
She is a goddamn nightmare!
What were you thinking?
192
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:03,542
Come on, she's not that bad!
193
00:11:03,708 --> 00:11:05,500
- Oh!
- She's not!
194
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,583
Besides, she tricked me, okay?
195
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,684
I thought we were just dropping off gifts
and she came to the door with a suitcase.
196
00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:13,226
What was I supposed to do, tell her
she has to spend Christmas by herself?
197
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,083
No, but at least you could've warned me
198
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,958
when one of your mistakes is
gonna become my problem.
199
00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:19,792
You think everything I do is a mistake.
200
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:21,976
Sorry, look out!
201
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,417
Look out!
202
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:24,667
- Hey, honey.
- Ooh, oh!
203
00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:26,375
I think this warhead's armed.
204
00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:28,167
Wow, you're so stinky!
205
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,000
Okay, I'm gonna go change her.
206
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,208
Let's go this way.
207
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,000
Just set that up wherever you want, t.
208
00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:36,417
The whole truck
smells like shit.
209
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,792
So what's for dinner?
210
00:11:54,125 --> 00:11:55,583
That's my boy!
211
00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:57,292
That's my boy!
212
00:11:57,708 --> 00:11:58,917
It sure is.
213
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,375
I'm gettin' Howie Jr. into game shape.
214
00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:02,942
By the time he gets to high school,
215
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,417
he's gonna be the biggest
lineman in the state.
216
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:09,458
Did you ever spend any time on the field,
Tommy?
217
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,917
No, actually, I didn't have time
in my younger years,
218
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:13,375
I was in training mostly.
219
00:12:13,542 --> 00:12:14,622
What were you training for?
220
00:12:14,708 --> 00:12:16,167
Uh. Army?
221
00:12:16,583 --> 00:12:17,583
Marines?
222
00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:20,417
It was the eagle scouts.
223
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:21,792
Eagle scouts.
224
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:25,667
Now eagle scouts, kids,
that's where you weave baskets
225
00:12:25,833 --> 00:12:28,083
and help little old ladies
across the street.
226
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:30,458
- Am I right?
- No, no.
227
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,708
No, no, no, no, it was actually quite
a bit of survival training.
228
00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:37,458
“So“
-well, the only survival training I need
229
00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:41,125
is my ol' smoke pole and that big,
fat box of buckshot
230
00:12:41,292 --> 00:12:42,792
that I keep out in that truck.
231
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:45,708
A Shepherd has gotta protect his flock.
232
00:12:46,292 --> 00:12:49,250
Honey, we said no gun talk
at the dinner table.
233
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,458
This family needs a little gun talk,
234
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,792
whether it's at the dinner
table or anywhere else.
235
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,184
- Wow!
- Know what I'm saying?
236
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,408
Looks like Chrissy's really
enjoying my gravlax.
237
00:12:59,417 --> 00:13:01,268
Careful, kids,
remember that your aunt Sarah
238
00:13:01,292 --> 00:13:02,851
likes everything to be clean and perfect,
239
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:04,355
and that's why she makes so much food
240
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,042
that you can't pronounce!
241
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,893
Well, I just thought you guys
might like a break
242
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,833
from macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.
243
00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:12,625
- Yeah, okay.
- Well, you were wrong.
244
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,125
And who doesn't make a ham at Christmas?
245
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:17,250
What are you now, a Jew?
246
00:13:21,542 --> 00:13:23,125
Maybe it's time for dessert, hmm?
247
00:13:24,292 --> 00:13:26,417
- It's delicious, honey.
- It's a little dry.
248
00:13:26,583 --> 00:13:28,958
Okay, well, mine's delicious!
249
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,180
Well, I guess I should've
gotten your bird.
250
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,625
You can just say something nice.
251
00:13:35,042 --> 00:13:37,059
I'll say it when she gets back,
if dessert's good.
252
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,893
Well, if you could just do me a favor.
253
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:40,809
- Tell him about Santa.
- Just say something nice
254
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:43,250
- about dessert.
- Hey, maxi-pad.
255
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:45,238
You hear what happened to Santa?
256
00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:47,833
No, Stevie,
what happened to Santa?
257
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,292
Heard it on the news.
258
00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:51,583
His sleigh crashed in the rockies.
259
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,500
Shattered both his legs.
260
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,750
Frostbite took care of his pain,
but not his hunger.
261
00:13:57,125 --> 00:14:01,083
So, to survive, he had to slaughter
and eat his reindeer.
262
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,333
Including Rudolph.
263
00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:07,875
Ate tiny reindeer, get it?
264
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,917
Knock it off!
265
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:13,083
Don't start anything.
266
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:14,625
Hey, guys, take it easy.
267
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:17,000
They're just playin', Tommy.
268
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:24,667
Macaroni and cheese and hot dogs.
269
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:25,833
Oh, Jesus!
270
00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:29,250
So what kind of godforsaken concoction
271
00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:30,958
are you whippin' up now?
272
00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:33,917
You know how this fancy
food clogs my pipes.
273
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,000
Well, how about we go to your trailer
274
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,417
for Christmas next year, hmm?
275
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:39,417
And after you've spent weeks
276
00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:41,583
decorating and cooking and cleaning,
277
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,518
I might just waddle in and start
bitching and moaning
278
00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:45,059
about everything you've worked so hard on!
279
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,208
Oh, Sarah, you know...
280
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,750
No, aunt Dorothy, please!
281
00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:49,542
For your sake, just...
282
00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:52,833
Stay the fuck outta my kitchen!
283
00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:58,792
You know, reindeer are actually
a sustainable food source
284
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:02,042
in the northern territories
and Alaska, Canada.
285
00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:04,958
This time of year we refer to reindeer
286
00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:08,875
as a transportation system
for Santa claus.
287
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,059
- Most people...
- We know you still believe
288
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:13,000
in the big, fat creeper.
289
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,083
I don't know what you're talking about.
290
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,125
You sure about that?
291
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,750
- Max, stop!
- Flying through the sky...
292
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:23,375
"Dear Santa,
293
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:25,978
I know I haven't been great this year,
294
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,917
and I'm sorry for that,
but I was really hoping
295
00:15:29,083 --> 00:15:31,458
you could help out me and
my family this Christmas.
296
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,208
We need you."
297
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:35,226
Oh, maxi-pad, that's so sweet.
298
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,083
- Give it back!
- Stop, Max!
299
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,750
Blah, blah, blah, bullshit, bullshit.
300
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:41,833
Ah, here we go, maxi's wish list.
301
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,500
- Stevie, stop, that's enough!
- Wait, you're up first, Beth.
302
00:15:45,042 --> 00:15:48,042
"I wish me and Beth could
hang out like we used to.
303
00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:51,625
You might have noticed that
I don't have tons of friends."
304
00:15:51,792 --> 00:15:54,292
Oh, no, really, Max?
305
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:57,500
"I wish my mom and dad could
fall in love again.
306
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,125
I know they get upset a lot,
307
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,083
with dad away from home so much.
308
00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:04,417
I think they really just miss each other."
309
00:16:06,792 --> 00:16:09,417
"Also, I wish things weren't so hard
310
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:12,458
for uncle Howard and aunt Linda."
311
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,500
"So maybe you can lend them a hand
the rest of the year too.
312
00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:22,958
And...
313
00:16:24,042 --> 00:16:25,042
And that..."
314
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:27,833
Screw you, dad does not wish we were boys!
315
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,417
Okay, who wants Crème brûlée?
316
00:16:34,958 --> 00:16:36,309
Give me the letter!
317
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:37,875
- Give me it back!
- Hey, Max!
318
00:16:38,042 --> 00:16:39,958
Hey, hey, hey!
319
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:41,165
Hey!
320
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,768
Girls!
321
00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:45,167
Hey!
322
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:46,726
- Hey!
- Hey!
323
00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:48,393
- Up up!
- Come on, Howard.
324
00:16:48,417 --> 00:16:49,667
- Stevie, Jordan!
- Come on!
325
00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,583
All right, all right, that's enough!
326
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,726
- Now are you okay, honey?
- That's enough.
327
00:16:55,542 --> 00:16:57,976
I just wanted Christmas to be
like it used to be, but forget it!
328
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,125
I hate Christmas!
329
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:01,125
- I hate all of you!
- Max.
330
00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:03,750
Max!
331
00:17:03,917 --> 00:17:05,643
Oh, lay off of him.
332
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:08,042
Kid deserves a prize
just for tellin' the truth.
333
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:21,167
- Can I come in?
- No.
334
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,958
You know, they're leaving
right after Christmas,
335
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:28,833
so we only have to survive
another three days.
336
00:17:29,292 --> 00:17:30,375
I don't get it.
337
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:31,958
Every year it gets worse!
338
00:17:32,125 --> 00:17:34,875
Why do we have to put up with their crap
just 'cause we share DNA?
339
00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:40,500
Because that's what a family is, Max.
340
00:17:41,292 --> 00:17:43,083
People you try to be friends with
341
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,708
even though you don't have
a whole lot in common.
342
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:48,375
- But why?
- Because...
343
00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:53,417
Okay, you kinda got me there.
344
00:17:55,917 --> 00:17:58,292
Or maybe it makes us work a little harder
345
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,875
to find what we do have in common,
you know?
346
00:18:01,292 --> 00:18:04,292
Put everything aside,
think of other people for a change.
347
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,208
Friends, family,
348
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,583
even the assholes you
normally can't stand.
349
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:10,875
Like uncle Howard?
350
00:18:11,042 --> 00:18:12,250
Didn't wanna name names.
351
00:18:15,042 --> 00:18:17,708
Dad, do you really believe in all that?
352
00:18:19,208 --> 00:18:20,625
I want to, Max.
353
00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:24,875
But, hey,
354
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,625
bet there's still time to drop
that letter in the mailbox, huh?
355
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,934
Don't you find it the least bit strange?
356
00:20:27,958 --> 00:20:29,598
I mean, they can see dust specks on Mars,
357
00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:32,375
but no one noticed a giant blizzard
hurtling towards us!
358
00:20:32,542 --> 00:20:34,333
Well, as soon as the power's back,
359
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,875
you can write an angry e-mail
360
00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:38,333
to the national weather service,
but, in the meantime,
361
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,708
let's just try and stay calm.
362
00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:41,417
Mom, there's something weird outside.
363
00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:43,042
I am calm, I would just be calmer
364
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:44,893
if I knew how we were gonna
survive Christmas
365
00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:46,157
with 12 people stuck in a house
366
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,917
with no hot water, no heat,
and no electricity!
367
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:50,667
Or food.
368
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,542
Well, there's plenty of leftovers, Howard.
369
00:20:54,292 --> 00:20:55,458
Beer it is!
370
00:20:56,042 --> 00:20:57,042
Phone's dead too.
371
00:20:57,708 --> 00:20:58,833
- Mom!
- What, Max?
372
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,417
There's a snowman in our yard.
373
00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:03,833
See?
374
00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:07,708
That's...
375
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,083
That's great, Max.
376
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,625
- But who built it?
- You can barely see across the street,
377
00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:13,667
but it doesn't look like it's just us.
378
00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:16,683
I can walk over, check with the turners.
379
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:18,375
The turners are in Hawaii.
380
00:21:18,542 --> 00:21:19,792
The lamberts are in Florida
381
00:21:19,958 --> 00:21:21,184
and the Cartwrights stopped talking to us
382
00:21:21,208 --> 00:21:23,542
after Max's noodle incident.
383
00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:24,792
After his what?
384
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:26,768
Max, please go and get Omi
out of the fireplace
385
00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:28,667
before she burns the whole house down.
386
00:21:31,417 --> 00:21:32,625
I'll get it!
387
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,083
Fine!
388
00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:36,250
Seriously, what are we gonna do?
389
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:38,865
- Merry Christmas.
- Whoa!
390
00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:40,500
- Sign here.
- Yeah!
391
00:21:41,792 --> 00:21:42,833
Wow!
392
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,708
Honey, stuff to carry!
393
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:46,500
Some weather, huh?
394
00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:48,542
Yeah, it's a ghost town out there.
395
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:49,833
Roads are a nightmare.
396
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,042
Yeah, no kidding.
397
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:52,833
Hey, these, too?
398
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:54,292
Uh, not mine.
399
00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:56,108
Uh, must be from the boys in brown.
400
00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:57,408
- All right.
- Merry Christmas.
401
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:58,667
Yeah, you, too.
402
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:01,917
- Ah, what is it?
- Hey, look at this, huh?
403
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:04,542
They got more stuff.
404
00:22:04,708 --> 00:22:06,708
Man, how come rich people
get all the free shit?
405
00:22:06,917 --> 00:22:08,167
I don't know, honey.
406
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:09,917
Democrats, probably.
407
00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:13,917
Oh, my god!
408
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,443
Who needs this much cheese?
409
00:22:16,750 --> 00:22:18,292
It's one singular moment.
410
00:22:18,458 --> 00:22:20,476
- You're saying I do it all...
- You guys, I've texted Derek
411
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:22,667
like nine times and
he still hasn't written back.
412
00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:23,917
That is not normal!
413
00:22:24,083 --> 00:22:26,417
It's the blizzard, honey,
nothing's working right now.
414
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,167
Then can I walk over and check on him?
415
00:22:28,708 --> 00:22:29,750
It's only a few blocks.
416
00:22:29,917 --> 00:22:31,958
I don't think that's a good idea.
417
00:22:32,750 --> 00:22:34,768
Well, I could see if anyone else
has power on the way.
418
00:22:34,792 --> 00:22:37,750
You know, you kids don't have
a damn bit of Patience.
419
00:22:37,917 --> 00:22:40,250
When I was your age,
I didn't hear from my boyfriend
420
00:22:40,417 --> 00:22:43,667
for two years while
he was off fightin' Charlie.
421
00:22:46,958 --> 00:22:48,375
She'll be fine.
422
00:22:49,375 --> 00:22:51,083
Okay. One hour.
423
00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:52,893
But when you get back, I want you to spend
424
00:22:52,917 --> 00:22:54,437
some girl time with Jordan and Stevie,
425
00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:55,833
- got it?
- Ow, ow, ow!
426
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,059
You call that a reversal?
427
00:22:58,083 --> 00:23:00,917
Come on, jordy, plant your feet!
Plant your feet!
428
00:23:01,083 --> 00:23:02,363
- All right, here we go.
- Right.
429
00:23:02,625 --> 00:23:04,101
- Again, again!
- You know what I mean.
430
00:23:04,125 --> 00:23:05,476
- Thanks.
- Get off me!
431
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:06,875
Be careful, okay?
432
00:23:07,042 --> 00:23:08,042
Okay, back later!
433
00:23:08,208 --> 00:23:09,333
Love you.
434
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:10,750
One hour!
435
00:23:10,917 --> 00:23:12,083
Okay!
436
00:23:14,792 --> 00:23:17,292
Max, I told you to get omi out of...
437
00:23:29,417 --> 00:23:31,292
She says hot chocolate makes
everything better.
438
00:24:53,042 --> 00:24:54,042
Oh my god.
439
00:25:00,292 --> 00:25:02,375
Please!
440
00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:10,542
Somebody help me!
441
00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:11,792
Please!
442
00:27:43,708 --> 00:27:44,708
Get anything?
443
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:49,875
It's the weirdest thing.
444
00:27:50,042 --> 00:27:53,250
There's no cars, no people,
not even a salt truck.
445
00:27:55,292 --> 00:27:57,000
Don't suppose you got me
a backup generator
446
00:27:57,167 --> 00:27:58,167
for Christmas, did you?
447
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,708
Yeah, it's under the tree,
448
00:28:00,875 --> 00:28:02,708
next to your ties and underwear.
449
00:28:02,875 --> 00:28:04,167
Good.
450
00:28:09,583 --> 00:28:11,083
It's getting late.
451
00:28:12,167 --> 00:28:13,247
Beth should be home by now.
452
00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:14,833
She's fine, she's at Derek's.
453
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,958
All the more reason to worry.
454
00:28:17,125 --> 00:28:18,875
Hey, hon, relax.
455
00:28:19,042 --> 00:28:20,708
Just for once, okay?
456
00:28:24,417 --> 00:28:25,792
How's everybody else doing?
457
00:28:27,042 --> 00:28:29,917
You know, cranky, bored,
458
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,833
sick of the snow, and each other.
459
00:28:34,208 --> 00:28:35,958
'Tis the season.
460
00:28:40,333 --> 00:28:42,083
Oh, god, I miss us.
461
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:45,750
Me too.
462
00:28:54,958 --> 00:28:56,792
Mom? Dad?
463
00:28:58,292 --> 00:29:00,292
It's already dark out and
Beth isn't back yet.
464
00:29:06,250 --> 00:29:07,976
I'll tell you what.
465
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,833
If I was a bum freezin'
on the street right now,
466
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,333
I'd just... End it.
467
00:29:13,875 --> 00:29:15,625
- Christ, aunt Dorothy!
- What?
468
00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:18,375
Even on a nice day
you wonder why they bother.
469
00:29:18,542 --> 00:29:19,542
Hey, Howard?
470
00:29:20,042 --> 00:29:21,851
Do you think your Hummer
could get through this mess?
471
00:29:21,875 --> 00:29:22,875
Lucinda?
472
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:25,292
I could point her due east, hit the gas,
473
00:29:25,458 --> 00:29:28,375
and she'd be stormin' the beaches
at normandy by sunrise.
474
00:29:28,542 --> 00:29:30,792
- What's on your mind, t?
- Well, it, it's Beth.
475
00:29:30,958 --> 00:29:32,351
She went to her boyfriend's earlier
476
00:29:32,375 --> 00:29:33,708
and she hasn't come back yet.
477
00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:36,417
See?
Let 'em out of your sight for one second
478
00:29:36,583 --> 00:29:38,792
and, boom, shotgun wedding!
479
00:29:38,958 --> 00:29:40,833
Aunt Dorothy, please.
480
00:29:41,542 --> 00:29:42,667
Well, you oughta know.
481
00:29:43,125 --> 00:29:44,485
Look, it's probably nothing,
482
00:29:44,625 --> 00:29:46,750
but I thought we'd go pick her up,
483
00:29:46,917 --> 00:29:48,101
take a quick swing around town,
484
00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:49,417
see what's goin' on out there.
485
00:29:49,583 --> 00:29:50,708
A little recon mission, huh?
486
00:29:51,292 --> 00:29:52,458
Thought you'd never ask!
487
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:53,893
Okay.
488
00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,458
- Go to mama.
- Yep.
489
00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:57,417
- All righty.
- Thomas.
490
00:29:57,917 --> 00:29:58,958
Thomas.
491
00:30:01,583 --> 00:30:02,583
What? Why?
492
00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:04,708
What the hell is she so riled up about?
493
00:30:09,458 --> 00:30:10,750
She says not to go.
494
00:30:11,333 --> 00:30:13,601
That it's too dangerous and that
we should wait until the storm's over.
495
00:30:13,625 --> 00:30:14,945
- Tom...
- No, I got this.
496
00:30:15,042 --> 00:30:17,458
Hey, mom, we have to go pick up Beth,
497
00:30:17,625 --> 00:30:20,025
but Max and Sarah will take care
of you while I'm gone, okay?
498
00:30:20,125 --> 00:30:22,625
Mom, hey, mom, listen.
499
00:30:27,208 --> 00:30:28,333
Everything's gonna be okay.
500
00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,083
Global warming, my ass!
501
00:30:53,667 --> 00:30:55,292
Must be negative 20 out here.
502
00:30:57,625 --> 00:30:59,375
This just doesn't make any sense.
503
00:31:00,417 --> 00:31:01,542
You try am?
504
00:31:01,708 --> 00:31:02,958
Yeah, I tried everything.
505
00:31:03,833 --> 00:31:06,667
The storm probably knocked out
the radio stations too.
506
00:31:07,125 --> 00:31:08,208
I guess so.
507
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,351
- Oh!
- Weather service...
508
00:31:12,375 --> 00:31:13,375
Here we go.
509
00:31:13,542 --> 00:31:16,583
A blizzard warning
for the entire central Ohio area,
510
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:19,333
including Franklin county,
Delaware county,
511
00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:21,750
Ramona falls, and Warren valley.
512
00:31:21,917 --> 00:31:24,708
With temperatures reaching
minus 20 degrees,
513
00:31:24,875 --> 00:31:26,625
residents are urged to avoid travel
514
00:31:26,792 --> 00:31:28,042
and seek shelter immediately.
515
00:31:28,208 --> 00:31:29,458
Amen to that!
516
00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:31,143
This has been a recording.
517
00:31:34,917 --> 00:31:36,750
What I wouldn't give
for a little bing Crosby
518
00:31:36,917 --> 00:31:38,250
right about now.
519
00:31:45,208 --> 00:31:47,458
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, slow down.
What is that?
520
00:31:58,875 --> 00:31:59,917
Is that a snowplow?
521
00:32:10,167 --> 00:32:11,208
Hello?
522
00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:36,750
Christ!
523
00:32:37,667 --> 00:32:40,042
Poor bastard must've sailed clear through.
524
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,542
Looks more like the opposite.
525
00:32:43,542 --> 00:32:44,875
What do you mean?
526
00:32:45,042 --> 00:32:46,833
The glass is punched in.
527
00:33:01,417 --> 00:33:03,083
We gotta find Beth.
528
00:33:06,458 --> 00:33:09,458
You packed guns on Christmas.
529
00:33:10,125 --> 00:33:12,792
Always be prepared, boy scout!
530
00:33:13,833 --> 00:33:15,042
It's kinda heavy.
531
00:33:17,125 --> 00:33:18,125
It's Linda's.
532
00:33:30,708 --> 00:33:31,875
Oh, my gosh!
533
00:33:33,417 --> 00:33:35,125
You had mom's angel this whole time?
534
00:33:36,042 --> 00:33:37,362
Yeah, I thought you knew.
535
00:33:43,375 --> 00:33:45,583
Remember how we used to fight over
who got to place her?
536
00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,458
Yeah, and you fought dirty.
537
00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:49,705
I think I still have the scars.
538
00:33:50,125 --> 00:33:51,958
Where do you think my girls get it from?
539
00:33:57,375 --> 00:33:58,458
Wow.
540
00:33:58,625 --> 00:33:59,792
You saved everything.
541
00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:05,458
I figured that's what mom would've done,
you know?
542
00:34:08,917 --> 00:34:10,477
You always do everything right.
543
00:34:13,333 --> 00:34:15,253
I'm just really good at making
it look like I do.
544
00:34:18,292 --> 00:34:21,083
Most days I wake up with one hand
on the panic button.
545
00:34:21,250 --> 00:34:22,726
Come on!
546
00:34:22,750 --> 00:34:24,167
I mean, you've got everything!
547
00:34:25,292 --> 00:34:28,667
I mean, your house looks
like one big SkyMall catalog.
548
00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:31,375
Yeah, but with Tom traveling and, uh,
549
00:34:31,542 --> 00:34:33,625
Max always holed up in his room
550
00:34:33,792 --> 00:34:35,750
doing whatever it is boys do,
551
00:34:36,333 --> 00:34:38,917
and Beth spending all her
time with Derek...
552
00:34:39,083 --> 00:34:42,458
I mean, things can get a little,
I don't know,
553
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:46,625
quiet.
554
00:34:49,333 --> 00:34:51,417
I'm sorry, it's just...
555
00:34:52,792 --> 00:34:54,458
The grass is always greener, you know?
556
00:34:57,417 --> 00:34:59,542
I mean, I'm three years younger
557
00:35:00,375 --> 00:35:02,958
and I've managed to squeeze out
twice as many kids.
558
00:35:06,917 --> 00:35:09,208
Oh, yeah, do that math, right?
559
00:35:09,375 --> 00:35:10,458
Hm, I know.
560
00:35:12,167 --> 00:35:14,000
You guys always seem so...
561
00:35:14,708 --> 00:35:17,500
Happy, like you could care less
what anyone else thinks.
562
00:35:20,917 --> 00:35:23,292
Are you jealous?
563
00:35:23,458 --> 00:35:25,375
- No, no!
- You're jealous!
564
00:35:25,542 --> 00:35:26,792
No, I only...
565
00:35:29,958 --> 00:35:31,708
It's just nice to have you around,
566
00:35:40,167 --> 00:35:42,708
Omi, try not to use up all the firewood,
okay?
567
00:35:42,875 --> 00:35:45,083
We need to make it last.
568
00:35:53,958 --> 00:35:56,625
Mom?
569
00:35:58,375 --> 00:35:59,750
Probably just squirrels.
570
00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:01,708
In this weather?
571
00:36:31,208 --> 00:36:32,208
See?
572
00:36:33,333 --> 00:36:34,533
- Squirrels.
- Right.
573
00:36:35,375 --> 00:36:37,000
Probably playing with their nuts.
574
00:36:55,208 --> 00:36:58,792
Beth?
575
00:37:02,333 --> 00:37:04,292
Derek?
576
00:37:08,542 --> 00:37:10,333
- Beth!
- Quiet, Tommy!
577
00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:12,000
I don't like this.
578
00:37:34,625 --> 00:37:38,458
Whoever did this is
a demented son of a bitch.
579
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:49,750
Don't worry, we'll find her, buddy.
580
00:38:00,958 --> 00:38:02,875
Looks like a gas line blew.
581
00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:14,125
What's that?
582
00:38:19,208 --> 00:38:21,375
I've hunted a lotta game in my day.
583
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:24,417
Those are hooves, big ones too.
584
00:38:25,375 --> 00:38:27,625
Could be an elk or a goat.
585
00:38:27,792 --> 00:38:30,333
What kinda goat walks on its hind legs?
586
00:38:40,042 --> 00:38:41,792
- Beth!
- Help me!
587
00:38:43,375 --> 00:38:44,917
Beth!
588
00:38:45,083 --> 00:38:46,292
Help!
589
00:38:48,875 --> 00:38:50,958
- Beth!
- Help!
590
00:38:54,208 --> 00:38:56,292
- Help!
- Beth!
591
00:38:56,458 --> 00:38:57,458
Tommy!
592
00:38:58,292 --> 00:38:59,292
Wait up!
593
00:39:07,458 --> 00:39:10,625
Howard!
594
00:39:17,292 --> 00:39:18,612
Oh my god!
595
00:39:18,750 --> 00:39:20,208
Hold on, Howard!
596
00:39:20,375 --> 00:39:21,958
- Help!
- Oh my god!
597
00:39:22,125 --> 00:39:23,934
Tom, help me!
598
00:39:26,042 --> 00:39:27,583
Tommy!
599
00:39:27,750 --> 00:39:30,417
Tom, something's biting me!
600
00:39:30,792 --> 00:39:32,072
Don't let go!
601
00:39:39,083 --> 00:39:40,375
Tommy?
602
00:39:50,333 --> 00:39:52,417
Let's go!
603
00:39:52,583 --> 00:39:54,083
What was that thing?
604
00:39:54,250 --> 00:39:55,850
I don't know, but we have to move!
605
00:40:04,250 --> 00:40:06,542
- Oh my god!
- Oh!
606
00:40:09,542 --> 00:40:12,542
Lucinda!
607
00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:15,667
Where do you think you're going?
608
00:40:16,833 --> 00:40:19,353
- To find them, I don't like this!
- What are you talking about?
609
00:40:19,458 --> 00:40:21,538
Tom and Howard know what they're doing,
they're fine!
610
00:40:21,708 --> 00:40:23,625
- Are they?
- Mom?
611
00:40:23,917 --> 00:40:25,518
Honey, I'll be right back,
I promise.
612
00:40:25,542 --> 00:40:26,893
Just lock the door...
613
00:40:26,917 --> 00:40:29,167
- Oh god!
- Max, get the first aid kit!
614
00:40:29,333 --> 00:40:30,893
- Close the door!
- Sarah, lock the door!
615
00:40:30,917 --> 00:40:32,708
Girls!
Make some room for your dad!
616
00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:34,625
Oh my god!
617
00:40:34,792 --> 00:40:36,792
- Where's Beth?
- We heard gunshots!
618
00:40:36,958 --> 00:40:39,226
I'll explain everything,
but right now everybody just needs
619
00:40:39,250 --> 00:40:40,958
to stay calm and stay inside!
620
00:40:41,125 --> 00:40:42,625
Get away from the windows!
621
00:40:42,792 --> 00:40:44,625
Swords, guns, knives, pots, pans!
622
00:40:44,792 --> 00:40:46,018
- Get whatever you can!
- Howard!
623
00:40:46,042 --> 00:40:48,333
- What?
- Not here.
624
00:40:50,625 --> 00:40:52,750
Jiminy Christmas, what happened out there?
625
00:40:54,042 --> 00:40:56,708
Nothin', it's just a scratch.
626
00:40:57,208 --> 00:40:58,726
Oh my god, it looks like
something bit you!
627
00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,000
Nope!
628
00:41:00,167 --> 00:41:02,167
Probably a bear trap
under the snow or something.
629
00:41:02,583 --> 00:41:03,708
We don't have bears here.
630
00:41:07,167 --> 00:41:08,250
Okay, um...
631
00:41:09,292 --> 00:41:11,726
Kids, why don't you go into the kitchen
and get something to eat now, okay?
632
00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:14,018
Oh, come on, you just don't wanna tell us
what's really going on here!
633
00:41:14,042 --> 00:41:15,518
Everybody, in the kitchen right now, Max!
634
00:41:15,542 --> 00:41:17,792
- Okay, right now!
- Come on, let's go. Girls, come on.
635
00:41:17,958 --> 00:41:19,083
It's okay.
636
00:41:19,583 --> 00:41:21,263
Aunt Dorothy, will you keep
an eye on them?
637
00:41:21,417 --> 00:41:22,417
Why me?
638
00:41:22,583 --> 00:41:25,000
I never liked kids, even when I was one!
639
00:41:27,417 --> 00:41:28,417
Please.
640
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:30,333
Oh, all right.
641
00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:32,083
All right!
642
00:41:32,958 --> 00:41:34,268
Come on, guys, I'm gonna teach you
643
00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:36,000
how to make peppermint schnapps.
644
00:41:40,292 --> 00:41:41,292
Mom.
645
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:44,417
Mom, will you please go into the kitchen
and help with the kids?
646
00:41:54,667 --> 00:41:56,018
- Oh!
- Come here, baby.
647
00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:02,375
See, a little sugar and a little spice...
648
00:42:05,292 --> 00:42:07,833
Makes everything nice!
649
00:42:17,583 --> 00:42:20,458
All right, but don't you rat me out.
650
00:42:22,792 --> 00:42:25,708
But who or what did all this?
651
00:42:26,792 --> 00:42:28,500
Your guess is as good as mine.
652
00:42:30,292 --> 00:42:31,812
First I thought it was a gang thing...
653
00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:35,886
But between this and
all the crazy stuff we saw out there,
654
00:42:36,042 --> 00:42:37,417
it just doesn't add up.
655
00:42:37,917 --> 00:42:39,500
It could be terrorists, right?
656
00:42:39,667 --> 00:42:40,917
Yeah, terrorists.
657
00:42:41,083 --> 00:42:43,417
They traded in their suicide vests
for rabid snow dogs?
658
00:42:43,583 --> 00:42:44,708
Tommy, ah!
659
00:42:45,042 --> 00:42:46,708
- Tom, god!
- Sorry, sorry.
660
00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:49,208
And, um,
661
00:42:51,583 --> 00:42:53,167
okay, she wasn't at Derek's,
662
00:42:53,333 --> 00:42:54,559
but that doesn't mean anything.
663
00:42:54,583 --> 00:42:56,601
- She may have found somewhere safe.
- So she's still out there.
664
00:42:56,625 --> 00:42:58,542
Yes, and we will find her, I promise,
665
00:42:58,708 --> 00:43:00,351
but I had to make sure you guys were safe.
666
00:43:00,375 --> 00:43:02,768
- I had to get Howard...
- I don't care how long it takes, Tom,
667
00:43:02,792 --> 00:43:05,192
we have to keep looking.
We have to pair up and take turns...
668
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:06,813
- Yes...
- We can't go back out there!
669
00:43:06,875 --> 00:43:07,875
You see this?
670
00:43:08,042 --> 00:43:10,167
It's damn near frostbite in
under four minutes!
671
00:43:10,333 --> 00:43:11,453
Honey, keep your voice down.
672
00:43:11,583 --> 00:43:13,458
Besides it being sub-zero out there,
673
00:43:13,792 --> 00:43:15,872
someone's tearing through
your fancy-ass neighborhood
674
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,667
picking everybody off, it's the truth!
675
00:43:17,833 --> 00:43:20,583
Honey, sweetheart, listen,
why don't we just leave, right?
676
00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:23,430
We can all pile in the truck
and we'll just see as far as we can get
677
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:25,684
- and... and we pick up Beth...
- The truck's gone.
678
00:43:25,708 --> 00:43:26,708
Torn to pieces.
679
00:43:26,875 --> 00:43:28,976
- What?
- Yeah, and even if she wasn't,
680
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,583
the streets are totally screwed.
681
00:43:30,750 --> 00:43:33,583
We can't go anywhere.
It's too dangerous, you got it?
682
00:43:33,750 --> 00:43:35,250
Howard, how much ammo do you have?
683
00:43:36,792 --> 00:43:39,018
A couple shells still loaded,
maybe a dozen in my pocket.
684
00:43:39,042 --> 00:43:40,042
Why?
685
00:43:40,792 --> 00:43:42,667
I think our best bet is to stay put.
686
00:43:43,750 --> 00:43:45,500
Board up all the doors and windows.
687
00:43:46,458 --> 00:43:48,578
And, as soon as the weather breaks,
we'll go find her.
688
00:43:48,708 --> 00:43:50,268
I told you we should've
gone to my brother's!
689
00:43:50,292 --> 00:43:52,208
Sure, Howard, Christmas on a pig farm!
690
00:43:52,375 --> 00:43:54,726
- Jesus was born in a barn!
- Knock it off, you guys!
691
00:43:54,750 --> 00:43:56,518
What about the kids,
what are we gonna tell them?
692
00:43:56,542 --> 00:43:57,667
I don't know, the truth?
693
00:43:57,917 --> 00:43:59,542
Sure, which version of it?
694
00:44:00,583 --> 00:44:02,458
- Hey, you guys!
- Oh, god.
695
00:44:02,708 --> 00:44:04,188
How much of that did you hear?
696
00:44:04,750 --> 00:44:05,750
Enough.
697
00:44:06,125 --> 00:44:08,250
Mama, did someone take Beth?
698
00:44:08,417 --> 00:44:09,917
- Are they coming for us?
- No!
699
00:44:10,083 --> 00:44:12,167
No, babies, no, everything's fine.
700
00:44:12,333 --> 00:44:14,167
Beth's just with her boyfriend,
that's all.
701
00:44:14,792 --> 00:44:16,917
And nothing bad's gonna happen
on Christmas, right?
702
00:44:17,583 --> 00:44:18,934
You know what, let's have a camp-out,
okay?
703
00:44:18,958 --> 00:44:20,333
We'll watch a movie, yeah?
704
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:22,700
Let's get cozy on the couch.
Go get your sister, Stevie.
705
00:44:22,792 --> 00:44:24,375
Come on, baby, come on.
706
00:44:24,542 --> 00:44:25,893
We'll find her, I promise.
707
00:44:32,083 --> 00:44:35,292
"And lo, the angel of
the lord came upon them.
708
00:44:35,458 --> 00:44:37,917
And the glory of the lord
shone round about them.
709
00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:39,792
And they were so afraid.
710
00:44:39,958 --> 00:44:41,934
And the angel said unto them..."
711
00:44:41,958 --> 00:44:43,958
"'Fear not, for, behold,
[Bring you..."'
712
00:44:44,125 --> 00:44:45,750
Won't the battery die?
713
00:44:47,375 --> 00:44:48,583
Gotta die sometime.
714
00:44:49,083 --> 00:44:50,583
Might as well enjoy it while we can.
715
00:44:50,750 --> 00:44:51,833
"A savior,
716
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,042
which is Christ the lord."
717
00:44:55,542 --> 00:44:56,542
Hey.
718
00:44:57,708 --> 00:44:58,875
Beth's a tough girl.
719
00:45:00,417 --> 00:45:01,833
Takes after her mom.
720
00:45:03,542 --> 00:45:04,750
I'm sure she's fine.
721
00:45:05,667 --> 00:45:06,667
Thank you.
722
00:45:15,292 --> 00:45:16,500
Hey, Tommy?
723
00:45:17,042 --> 00:45:18,042
I, um...
724
00:45:20,833 --> 00:45:23,625
I just wanna say thanks for, uh, you know,
725
00:45:25,042 --> 00:45:26,583
saving my ass back there.
726
00:45:27,500 --> 00:45:28,917
Oh, well,
727
00:45:30,083 --> 00:45:31,500
sure, no problem.
728
00:45:38,167 --> 00:45:40,417
And I just wanna say I'm sorry for...
729
00:45:42,208 --> 00:45:44,833
Thinking you're such a spineless
dick all these years.
730
00:45:53,792 --> 00:45:55,167
You should get some sleep, pal.
731
00:45:55,333 --> 00:45:56,583
How?
732
00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:58,375
Hm, good point.
733
00:46:03,542 --> 00:46:04,542
Hey, dad?
734
00:46:05,917 --> 00:46:07,042
Are we gonna die?
735
00:46:08,167 --> 00:46:10,083
Hey. No, no, no.
736
00:46:15,458 --> 00:46:16,667
Omi's been acting different.
737
00:46:18,167 --> 00:46:19,500
Ever since the storm.
738
00:46:20,292 --> 00:46:22,208
Yeah, well, you know,
739
00:46:25,875 --> 00:46:28,275
She always gets
a little weird around Christmas.
740
00:46:29,833 --> 00:46:30,833
How come?
741
00:46:31,125 --> 00:46:33,005
I don't know, she never wanted
to talk about it.
742
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:35,500
Max, come on.
743
00:46:36,083 --> 00:46:37,167
Time for bed.
744
00:46:38,583 --> 00:46:39,708
It's gonna be fine.
745
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,000
All right.
746
00:47:03,083 --> 00:47:05,750
You know, Linda and I,
we butt heads, but...
747
00:47:07,792 --> 00:47:09,500
I can't imagine life without her.
748
00:47:12,792 --> 00:47:14,083
Yeah, I know what you mean.
749
00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:17,708
One of us should probably
stay up and keep watch.
750
00:47:19,917 --> 00:47:21,625
That's a good idea. I'll go first.
751
00:47:21,792 --> 00:47:24,417
No, you go ahead and catch some
winks with your family.
752
00:47:24,583 --> 00:47:26,000
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
753
00:47:28,042 --> 00:47:29,667
A Shepherd's gotta protect his flock.
754
00:47:31,958 --> 00:47:33,458
- Night, Howard.
- Good night.
755
00:47:41,083 --> 00:47:44,292
♪ silent night ♪
756
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:50,625
♪ holy night ♪
757
00:47:51,542 --> 00:47:56,333
♪ all is calm ♪
758
00:47:56,833 --> 00:48:01,375
♪ all is bright ♪
759
00:48:02,458 --> 00:48:07,458
♪ round yon virgin ♪
760
00:48:07,708 --> 00:48:12,625
♪ mother and child ♪
761
00:48:13,208 --> 00:48:20,208
♪ holy infant so tender and mild ♪
762
00:48:24,167 --> 00:48:31,167
♪ sleep in heavenly peace ♪
763
00:50:39,208 --> 00:50:40,667
Mom!
764
00:50:43,917 --> 00:50:45,958
- Howie!
- Dad, dad!
765
00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:47,833
Mom!
766
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000
Hang on, Howie!
767
00:50:51,458 --> 00:50:53,417
Dad!
768
00:50:54,750 --> 00:50:56,208
Sarah, hold on, Sarah!
769
00:50:56,375 --> 00:50:57,375
Mom!
770
00:50:57,542 --> 00:50:58,833
Howie, hold on!
771
00:51:04,250 --> 00:51:06,167
Howie, hold on!
772
00:51:11,292 --> 00:51:12,750
- I got you!
- Hold on!
773
00:51:21,958 --> 00:51:23,708
Max, get the fire extinguisher!
774
00:51:23,875 --> 00:51:26,292
Tom, help!
775
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:27,583
Help me, help me!
776
00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:29,143
Sarah!
777
00:51:29,167 --> 00:51:31,500
I got you!
778
00:51:33,167 --> 00:51:34,417
Pull me down!
779
00:51:34,583 --> 00:51:37,833
I got you!
780
00:51:44,625 --> 00:51:46,750
No' -no!
781
00:51:46,917 --> 00:51:48,000
Hey!
782
00:51:48,167 --> 00:51:50,208
No, Howie!
783
00:51:50,375 --> 00:51:52,135
No, no, no!
784
00:51:52,292 --> 00:51:55,167
Oh my god, oh, my god!
785
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:10,833
Honey, are you okay?
Are you hurt?
786
00:52:11,167 --> 00:52:12,167
Hon?
787
00:52:12,375 --> 00:52:16,458
What UN... holy thing was that?
788
00:52:19,583 --> 00:52:20,583
Howard.
789
00:52:20,750 --> 00:52:22,167
Howard.
790
00:52:23,958 --> 00:52:25,000
- It's my fault.
- No.
791
00:52:25,167 --> 00:52:26,833
I... I fell asleep!
792
00:52:27,500 --> 00:52:29,458
And they got our boy.
It's all my fault!
793
00:52:40,708 --> 00:52:41,875
Tom, what's she saying?
794
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,125
This is all of our fault?
795
00:52:45,792 --> 00:52:47,542
He's come for us all?
796
00:52:48,583 --> 00:52:49,917
He who?
797
00:52:50,792 --> 00:52:52,375
- Who's he?
- I... I don't know.
798
00:52:52,542 --> 00:52:53,875
Mom, what are you talking about?
799
00:52:54,042 --> 00:52:55,917
Please. Listen.
800
00:52:56,292 --> 00:52:58,042
English, I knew it.
801
00:52:59,458 --> 00:53:01,083
I must tell you something.
802
00:53:01,875 --> 00:53:02,875
All of you.
803
00:53:05,958 --> 00:53:09,125
It started with the wind.
804
00:53:13,083 --> 00:53:16,542
On a cold winter night, much like this.
805
00:53:18,500 --> 00:53:20,500
It was almost Christmas,
806
00:53:22,125 --> 00:53:24,625
but this Christmas was darker,
807
00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:26,958
less cheerful.
808
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,500
But I still believed in Santa,
809
00:53:34,333 --> 00:53:35,625
in magic...
810
00:53:36,750 --> 00:53:38,333
And miracles
811
00:53:39,625 --> 00:53:43,458
and the hope that we could find joy again.
812
00:53:45,458 --> 00:53:47,500
But our village had given up,
813
00:53:47,667 --> 00:53:49,059
on miracles...
814
00:53:49,083 --> 00:53:53,417
And on each other.
815
00:53:54,667 --> 00:53:57,583
They had forgotten
the spirit of Christmas.
816
00:53:58,167 --> 00:54:00,167
The sacrifice of giving.
817
00:54:02,958 --> 00:54:06,000
And my family was no different.
818
00:54:10,208 --> 00:54:13,542
I tried to help them to believe again,
819
00:54:13,708 --> 00:54:18,125
but we were no longer
the loving family I remembered.
820
00:54:21,875 --> 00:54:23,875
They, too, had given up.
821
00:54:26,042 --> 00:54:29,125
And, eventually, so did I.
822
00:54:32,250 --> 00:54:36,667
And, for the first time,
I didn't wish for a miracle.
823
00:54:38,333 --> 00:54:40,750
I wished for them to go away.
824
00:54:42,792 --> 00:54:45,958
A wish I would come to regret.
825
00:54:49,083 --> 00:54:54,208
And that night, in the darkness of
a howling blizzard,
826
00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:56,708
I got my wish.
827
00:55:01,417 --> 00:55:06,000
I knew Saint Nicholas
was not coming this year.
828
00:55:09,208 --> 00:55:15,333
Instead, it was a much darker,
more ancient spirit.
829
00:55:18,792 --> 00:55:21,208
The shadow of Saint Nicholas.
830
00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:24,333
It was Krampus.
831
00:55:26,875 --> 00:55:29,958
And as he had for thousands of years,
832
00:55:30,958 --> 00:55:33,458
Krampus came not to reward...
833
00:55:33,625 --> 00:55:35,393
But to punish.
834
00:55:35,417 --> 00:55:39,500
Not to give, but to take.
835
00:55:41,292 --> 00:55:43,583
He and his helpers.
836
00:55:46,625 --> 00:55:49,167
I could only listen as they dragged
837
00:55:49,333 --> 00:55:52,208
my family into the underworld,
838
00:55:52,375 --> 00:55:56,250
knowing that I would be next.
839
00:55:57,958 --> 00:56:01,625
But Krampus didn't take me that night.
840
00:56:03,917 --> 00:56:10,417
He left me as a reminder of what
happens when hope is lost,
841
00:56:11,042 --> 00:56:13,125
when belief is forgotten,
842
00:56:14,458 --> 00:56:17,917
and the Christmas spirit dies.
843
00:56:33,750 --> 00:56:35,542
And here I thought
I was the one losin' it.
844
00:56:35,708 --> 00:56:37,375
- Howard.
- What?
845
00:56:38,333 --> 00:56:41,083
- You believe this senile horseshit?
- I don't know.
846
00:56:41,250 --> 00:56:43,750
Evil Santa? Jesus h. Almighty!
847
00:56:44,542 --> 00:56:47,333
She'll be yammerin' about
a rabid easter bunny come spring!
848
00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:48,542
Howard, that's enough.
849
00:56:52,667 --> 00:56:54,250
You're damn right it's enough.
850
00:56:54,875 --> 00:56:56,101
Whoever the hell's messing with us
851
00:56:56,125 --> 00:56:57,833
took my boy and your daughter,
852
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,042
and we're sittin' around iistenin'
to some twisted bedtime story?
853
00:57:04,417 --> 00:57:05,667
Screw that!
854
00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:07,113
- I'm getting' Howie back.
- Hey!
855
00:57:07,167 --> 00:57:08,684
- Daddy, daddy, don't go!
- Howard, what are you doing?
856
00:57:08,708 --> 00:57:10,500
Tommy, don't! Don't, Tommy!
857
00:57:10,667 --> 00:57:12,147
- Daddy, don't!
- Whoa, whoa!
858
00:57:14,958 --> 00:57:17,708
I'm starting to like you, I am,
859
00:57:18,958 --> 00:57:20,417
but this is my choice.
860
00:57:20,583 --> 00:57:21,792
Howard, what are you doing?
861
00:57:22,125 --> 00:57:23,875
We've got four other kids here to protect.
862
00:57:25,333 --> 00:57:27,083
- Howard.
- Baby, please don't do this.
863
00:57:27,250 --> 00:57:30,125
Listen, we can figure
something else out, okay? Honey?
864
00:57:30,542 --> 00:57:32,417
This is how I figure things out.
865
00:57:32,792 --> 00:57:34,072
Howard, you don't wanna do this.
866
00:57:34,167 --> 00:57:35,375
Howard!
867
00:57:35,542 --> 00:57:38,125
Howard!
868
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:45,000
Howie!
869
00:57:50,083 --> 00:57:51,208
Howie!
870
00:57:55,958 --> 00:57:58,375
No, no, no, shut the door!
Inside, shut it!
871
00:58:08,500 --> 00:58:11,583
Don't open the door.
872
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:12,750
Dad?
873
00:58:14,083 --> 00:58:15,083
What are we gonna do now?
874
00:58:16,708 --> 00:58:18,208
We keep the fire hot.
875
00:58:45,542 --> 00:58:47,042
It's from my Halloween stash.
876
00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:48,750
Thanks.
877
00:59:38,500 --> 00:59:40,125
Think you'll be all right for a minute?
878
00:59:42,042 --> 00:59:43,625
- Yeah.
- Okay.
879
00:59:43,792 --> 00:59:44,792
Love you.
880
00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:50,000
We need to talk to omi about
what's going on.
881
01:00:03,542 --> 01:00:05,875
Omi, can we ask you something?
882
01:00:22,958 --> 01:00:24,792
Hey.
883
01:00:26,875 --> 01:00:30,583
When they took Howie,
what did you see up there?
884
01:00:33,625 --> 01:00:35,917
You believe that story, right?
885
01:00:37,792 --> 01:00:38,792
Do you?
886
01:00:39,792 --> 01:00:41,542
I don't know what I believe anymore.
887
01:00:42,417 --> 01:00:44,458
I know I'm going out there to find Beth,
I have to.
888
01:00:44,625 --> 01:00:46,184
I... I don't even care if I die trying.
889
01:00:46,208 --> 01:00:48,750
No, listen, let's get Howard and Linda.
890
01:00:48,917 --> 01:00:50,042
I have an idea.
891
01:00:58,333 --> 01:01:00,875
But what if you've been good,
like, all year?
892
01:01:02,417 --> 01:01:04,000
And you leave out milk and cookies
893
01:01:04,167 --> 01:01:05,417
and do everything else right?
894
01:01:17,708 --> 01:01:20,375
It's not what you do,
it's what you believe,
895
01:01:21,792 --> 01:01:24,958
and what you've given up in here.
896
01:01:26,875 --> 01:01:28,667
But can't we make him go away?
897
01:01:35,417 --> 01:01:36,708
What's she saying?
898
01:01:37,083 --> 01:01:38,167
I'm not sure.
899
01:01:38,583 --> 01:01:39,708
She says we're fucked.
900
01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:44,768
- How'd you...
- Because I'm old enough
901
01:01:44,792 --> 01:01:47,250
to know when life is
coming at you with his dick out.
902
01:02:41,542 --> 01:02:42,542
Linda?
903
01:02:44,625 --> 01:02:46,385
Can we talk with you and
Howard for a minute?
904
01:02:46,583 --> 01:02:47,750
Can it wait?
905
01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:51,250
I just wanna get these
rewrapped for the kids.
906
01:02:52,625 --> 01:02:53,750
It's important.
907
01:02:54,417 --> 01:02:55,417
The snowplow?
908
01:02:55,583 --> 01:02:56,983
The keys were in the ignition
909
01:02:57,083 --> 01:02:59,625
and it was beat to hell, but, if it runs,
910
01:02:59,792 --> 01:03:02,833
I drive it back here,
then everyone piles in the car
911
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,417
and follows while
I clear a path in front of us.
912
01:03:06,417 --> 01:03:07,542
And go where?
913
01:03:08,375 --> 01:03:10,625
The mail doubles as an emergency shelter.
914
01:03:10,917 --> 01:03:13,333
And, if it's empty,
we'll try the police station.
915
01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:15,750
And what if they're gone too?
916
01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:19,917
Then we keep driving 'til
we see lights or people,
917
01:03:20,375 --> 01:03:22,250
a plowed road,
somewhere safe for the kids.
918
01:03:22,583 --> 01:03:24,167
And then we bring help back here.
919
01:03:24,792 --> 01:03:25,917
For Beth and Howie.
920
01:03:26,458 --> 01:03:28,938
You're not thinkin' of going for the plow
by yourself, are you?
921
01:03:31,500 --> 01:03:33,667
Well, a Shepherd has gotta
protect his flock.
922
01:04:29,125 --> 01:04:31,208
Hey, Stevie?
923
01:04:33,125 --> 01:04:36,542
I think aunt Dorothy clogged up
the shitter.
924
01:04:37,625 --> 01:04:39,125
So use the one upstairs.
925
01:04:41,625 --> 01:04:43,667
What, you afraid to go by yourself?
926
01:04:44,708 --> 01:04:47,000
- Well.
- Jesus.
927
01:04:47,167 --> 01:04:48,625
Come on.
928
01:04:48,792 --> 01:04:50,583
The plow is only three blocks away.
929
01:04:51,167 --> 01:04:54,500
Three blocks is gonna feel like
three miles in this mess.
930
01:04:56,792 --> 01:04:58,458
And what about that thing under the snow?
931
01:04:59,958 --> 01:05:01,542
We hurt it once, we can do it again.
932
01:05:09,083 --> 01:05:10,917
- Hey, Stevie?
- Yeah?
933
01:05:12,167 --> 01:05:13,518
Do you think they took Howie
934
01:05:13,542 --> 01:05:15,542
'cause of the time he painted the cats?
935
01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:17,792
I don't know, Jordan.
936
01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:21,697
Do you think he's dead?
937
01:05:22,125 --> 01:05:23,125
I don't know.
938
01:05:25,542 --> 01:05:26,583
Jordan?
939
01:05:36,208 --> 01:05:37,208
Beth, you up there?
940
01:05:37,625 --> 01:05:40,125
Stevie? Jordan?
941
01:05:40,583 --> 01:05:41,833
What are you doing?
942
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,458
Where have you been?
943
01:05:43,625 --> 01:05:45,083
Everyone's freaking out!
944
01:05:45,250 --> 01:05:47,083
Come up here and I'll show you.
945
01:05:47,250 --> 01:05:49,292
I've been waiting for you guys.
946
01:05:50,250 --> 01:05:52,417
Hurry!
947
01:05:52,875 --> 01:05:54,000
Have you told Max yet?
948
01:05:54,625 --> 01:05:56,208
No, not yet.
949
01:05:56,958 --> 01:05:59,458
What? Jordan?
950
01:05:59,625 --> 01:06:00,833
Stevie?
951
01:06:03,667 --> 01:06:05,583
Where are they? Where did they go?
952
01:06:05,750 --> 01:06:08,375
They were just here.
I think they went to the bathroom.
953
01:06:08,542 --> 01:06:09,625
And you just let them go?
954
01:06:09,792 --> 01:06:11,351
Was there another option?
955
01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:16,042
Jordan! Stevie!
956
01:06:16,208 --> 01:06:17,625
- Linda!
- Jordan!
957
01:06:18,375 --> 01:06:19,375
Listen.
958
01:06:21,042 --> 01:06:22,250
Honey, who was that?
959
01:06:23,333 --> 01:06:24,875
Howard, stay here.
960
01:06:29,958 --> 01:06:31,417
- Omi?
- Hmm?
961
01:06:32,083 --> 01:06:33,542
I think all this might be my fault.
962
01:06:48,667 --> 01:06:50,750
- Uncle Howard?
- Shh!
963
01:06:54,458 --> 01:06:55,458
Rosie.
964
01:06:56,792 --> 01:07:00,583
Come here, girl.
965
01:07:00,750 --> 01:07:01,833
Useless turd.
966
01:07:03,375 --> 01:07:05,375
All right, wait here.
967
01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,292
Jordan?
968
01:07:38,333 --> 01:07:40,375
Okay, okay.
969
01:07:46,250 --> 01:07:47,583
Jordan?
970
01:07:47,750 --> 01:07:48,750
Stevie?
971
01:08:02,042 --> 01:08:03,625
You guys.
972
01:08:12,125 --> 01:08:13,208
The hell is this?
973
01:08:20,667 --> 01:08:21,750
God damn it!
974
01:08:21,917 --> 01:08:24,167
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
975
01:08:24,333 --> 01:08:26,333
It's okay, I got ya.
976
01:08:27,417 --> 01:08:28,958
You're gonna be okay.
977
01:08:29,125 --> 01:08:31,125
Shh!
978
01:09:41,917 --> 01:09:43,667
Oh, come on!
979
01:09:47,292 --> 01:09:48,893
- Oh my god!
- What, what?
980
01:09:48,917 --> 01:09:50,917
No!
981
01:09:51,083 --> 01:09:55,042
Oh, my god!
982
01:09:59,292 --> 01:10:00,792
Shoot it, Tom, shoot it!
983
01:10:00,958 --> 01:10:02,250
For god's sake, shoot it!
984
01:10:07,792 --> 01:10:09,042
Linda!
985
01:10:18,792 --> 01:10:20,375
We should've gone to my brother's!
986
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,226
- Where'd it go?
- I don't know!
987
01:10:37,250 --> 01:10:38,625
Oh my god!
988
01:11:13,250 --> 01:11:14,458
- Bear!
- What?
989
01:11:15,083 --> 01:11:16,268
Bear!
990
01:12:04,375 --> 01:12:05,958
You gotta be kidding me!
991
01:12:16,292 --> 01:12:17,458
Merry Christmas, mother...
992
01:12:17,625 --> 01:12:19,125
There he is! Charge!
993
01:12:40,125 --> 01:12:41,667
Ah, that's a good girl.
994
01:12:55,542 --> 01:12:57,000
Linda!
995
01:13:09,958 --> 01:13:11,750
Stevie? Stevie!
996
01:13:19,542 --> 01:13:20,542
Come here!
997
01:13:39,417 --> 01:13:43,542
Hey! Give me back my kids, you... fudger!
998
01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:48,708
Jordan!
999
01:13:49,750 --> 01:13:51,583
Stevie.
1000
01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:53,000
I'm coming, baby!
1001
01:13:53,542 --> 01:13:54,750
Stevie, baby.
1002
01:13:54,917 --> 01:13:57,167
It's okay, mama's here.
1003
01:13:57,333 --> 01:13:59,375
Mama's here. There you go!
1004
01:13:59,542 --> 01:14:01,333
Mom, it got Jordan.
1005
01:14:01,500 --> 01:14:04,125
It was gonna eat me next!
1006
01:14:05,958 --> 01:14:08,000
Thanks, honey.
1007
01:14:08,167 --> 01:14:09,847
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, are you okay?
1008
01:14:27,500 --> 01:14:28,500
Mom!
1009
01:14:29,417 --> 01:14:30,875
Max!
1010
01:14:31,375 --> 01:14:32,375
Come on, baby.
1011
01:14:32,542 --> 01:14:34,333
Come on, baby, it's okay.
1012
01:14:35,167 --> 01:14:36,167
Max, are you okay?
1013
01:14:36,333 --> 01:14:37,792
- Yeah.
- What happened up there?
1014
01:14:38,167 --> 01:14:39,167
They got Jordan.
1015
01:14:39,417 --> 01:14:42,500
Who?
1016
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:48,000
Mom?
1017
01:14:48,708 --> 01:14:51,000
I think it's panicking,
trying to get outside.
1018
01:14:51,625 --> 01:14:54,042
Well, we boarded everything up.
1019
01:14:54,250 --> 01:14:55,875
Howard, that's Jordan.
1020
01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:58,900
We gotta get in there, we gotta
get in there and get her out.
1021
01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:01,528
Linda, what are we dealing with?
What did you see up there?
1022
01:15:01,958 --> 01:15:03,458
You don't wanna know, sweetheart.
1023
01:15:03,917 --> 01:15:06,375
Honey, I just got my ass kicked
1024
01:15:06,542 --> 01:15:09,542
by a bunch of Christmas cookies,
so trust me when I say I can take it!
1025
01:15:09,708 --> 01:15:10,893
Shh, shh, shh!
1026
01:15:21,500 --> 01:15:24,083
No, no, no, Max, what are you doing?
1027
01:15:24,250 --> 01:15:26,667
Go get 'em, girl!
1028
01:15:35,958 --> 01:15:37,750
Get 'em, Rosie.
1029
01:15:56,458 --> 01:15:57,458
Rosie?
1030
01:16:16,875 --> 01:16:19,667
For god's sake, Howard, shoot it!
1031
01:16:21,167 --> 01:16:22,208
- No, no!
- Dad!
1032
01:16:23,333 --> 01:16:25,333
- Get it off!
- Dad!
1033
01:16:25,500 --> 01:16:27,875
You bitch!
1034
01:16:36,583 --> 01:16:38,667
Dad, no!
1035
01:16:38,833 --> 01:16:40,833
Dad!
1036
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:42,292
Omi!
1037
01:16:59,292 --> 01:17:00,667
Aunt Dorothy?
1038
01:17:01,167 --> 01:17:02,958
- Finish it.
- With pleasure!
1039
01:17:11,958 --> 01:17:12,958
Aw, shit!
1040
01:17:17,667 --> 01:17:18,875
Max!
1041
01:17:20,292 --> 01:17:21,625
Mom!
1042
01:17:21,792 --> 01:17:25,000
Stay behind me!
1043
01:17:55,333 --> 01:17:56,333
Howard, where's Chrissy?
1044
01:17:56,500 --> 01:17:58,125
- I don't know!
- Where's the baby?
1045
01:17:58,292 --> 01:18:00,268
Honey, where's your sister?
1046
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:06,542
- No, Linda, no!
- Howard!
1047
01:18:06,708 --> 01:18:08,625
Howard, the baby!
1048
01:18:09,250 --> 01:18:10,750
See you in hell!
1049
01:18:13,542 --> 01:18:16,083
Twisted fairytale horseshit!
1050
01:18:16,250 --> 01:18:17,458
Howard, no!
1051
01:18:20,125 --> 01:18:22,750
Oh, great!
1052
01:18:51,958 --> 01:18:54,083
Are you okay? Are you okay?
1053
01:18:55,667 --> 01:18:57,167
Max, get the ammo!
1054
01:19:00,125 --> 01:19:02,000
Wait, where did they go?
1055
01:19:02,333 --> 01:19:03,809
I'm more worried about when
they come back.
1056
01:19:03,833 --> 01:19:05,073
We need to make a break for it.
1057
01:19:05,208 --> 01:19:06,500
For what, Tom?
1058
01:19:06,667 --> 01:19:08,500
The snowplow. It's our only shot.
1059
01:19:08,917 --> 01:19:10,157
And then we're going after 'em.
1060
01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:13,000
What is going on?
1061
01:19:13,542 --> 01:19:15,042
Sarah, what's going on?
1062
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:16,417
Mom, come on, we're leaving.
1063
01:19:17,292 --> 01:19:18,375
You're gonna be okay.
1064
01:19:20,500 --> 01:19:23,167
Mom, we have to go, now!
1065
01:19:27,167 --> 01:19:28,167
It's him.
1066
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,625
♪ up on the housetop reindeer pause ♪
1067
01:19:32,792 --> 01:19:35,375
♪ out jumps good old Santa Claus ♪
1068
01:19:35,542 --> 01:19:38,292
♪ down through the chimney
with lots of toys ♪
1069
01:19:38,458 --> 01:19:39,658
♪ all for the little one's ♪
1070
01:19:39,750 --> 01:19:41,070
- let's go.
- ♪ Christmas joys ♪
1071
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:43,708
-♪ ho ho ho ♪
-Max, Max, come, come, come!
1072
01:19:44,333 --> 01:19:45,500
Okay, come on.
1073
01:19:47,375 --> 01:19:49,018
- Let's tie it up.
- Let's do our best.
1074
01:19:49,042 --> 01:19:50,726
- Hurry!
- Get your gloves on.
1075
01:19:50,750 --> 01:19:51,917
Here, put your hood up.
1076
01:19:52,708 --> 01:19:55,250
♪ first comes the stocking
of little Neil ♪
1077
01:19:55,417 --> 01:19:57,125
- okay, ready?
- ♪ oh dear Santa ♪
1078
01:19:58,500 --> 01:20:01,542
♪ give her a Dolly
that laughs and cries ♪
1079
01:20:01,708 --> 01:20:04,583
everybody just hold onto each other.
1080
01:20:15,125 --> 01:20:16,833
Omi!
1081
01:20:17,208 --> 01:20:18,208
Be good.
1082
01:20:18,625 --> 01:20:20,833
Omi! Omi!
1083
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,708
Omi, no!
1084
01:20:24,250 --> 01:20:26,042
Omi!
1085
01:20:26,208 --> 01:20:27,708
Mom!
1086
01:20:27,875 --> 01:20:29,355
Mom, open the door!
1087
01:20:29,500 --> 01:20:31,583
- Mom!
1088
01:20:31,750 --> 01:20:33,917
Mom, you open this door now!
1089
01:20:35,708 --> 01:20:37,583
The window.
1090
01:20:37,750 --> 01:20:38,792
Dad!
1091
01:20:38,958 --> 01:20:41,042
She wants to face him!
1092
01:20:41,208 --> 01:20:42,250
She's trying to help!
1093
01:20:46,708 --> 01:20:48,500
Let's go.
1094
01:20:49,208 --> 01:20:50,958
Let's go, let's go, go!
1095
01:20:58,542 --> 01:21:01,250
♪ ho ho ho, who wouldn't go ♪
1096
01:21:01,417 --> 01:21:04,083
♪ ho ho ho, who wouldn't go ♪
1097
01:21:04,250 --> 01:21:05,726
♪ up on the housetop ♪
1098
01:21:05,750 --> 01:21:07,083
♪ click, click, click ♪
1099
01:21:07,250 --> 01:21:11,917
♪ down through the chimney
with good Saint Nick ♪
1100
01:23:09,708 --> 01:23:10,875
Keep moving!
1101
01:23:30,042 --> 01:23:32,792
Go! Go, get behind me, go!
1102
01:23:33,542 --> 01:23:35,417
Go, go, go, keep moving!
1103
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:37,250
Come on, buddy!
1104
01:23:42,667 --> 01:23:43,667
Come on!
1105
01:23:56,375 --> 01:23:58,375
You have to go. You have to go.
1106
01:23:58,542 --> 01:23:59,792
- I need you to go!
- No.
1107
01:23:59,958 --> 01:24:02,875
All of you, you have to go,
do you understand?
1108
01:24:03,042 --> 01:24:05,292
Just keep driving!
Do you understand?
1109
01:24:08,833 --> 01:24:10,125
I love you!
1110
01:24:10,500 --> 01:24:11,875
I love you, buddy!
1111
01:24:12,542 --> 01:24:14,958
Go, now, go!
1112
01:24:26,792 --> 01:24:27,792
Come on!
1113
01:24:51,208 --> 01:24:54,542
Come on.
1114
01:24:56,417 --> 01:24:57,726
Keep going, keep going!
1115
01:24:57,750 --> 01:24:59,309
Oh my god, get in!
1116
01:24:59,333 --> 01:25:01,853
I want you to get up in here
and I don't want you to move, okay?
1117
01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:03,417
You stay here, you don't move!
1118
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:06,417
Mom!
1119
01:25:06,583 --> 01:25:07,726
Okay, you understand?
1120
01:25:07,750 --> 01:25:10,417
Mom, mom, please!
1121
01:25:10,583 --> 01:25:13,167
Sarah!
Baby, go with your aunt Sarah.
1122
01:25:13,917 --> 01:25:15,833
Sarah, go, go on!
1123
01:25:16,000 --> 01:25:17,750
Stevie, sweetheart, it's okay!
1124
01:25:17,917 --> 01:25:19,042
- Mom!
- It's okay!
1125
01:25:19,208 --> 01:25:20,351
Come on.
1126
01:25:20,375 --> 01:25:21,375
Sarah!
1127
01:25:22,125 --> 01:25:23,792
Stay here, I'll be right back!
1128
01:25:24,792 --> 01:25:27,083
Sarah!
1129
01:25:27,792 --> 01:25:29,458
Mom, no!
1130
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:30,976
I love you.
1131
01:25:31,000 --> 01:25:32,208
Mom!
1132
01:25:32,375 --> 01:25:34,292
Mom!
1133
01:25:39,250 --> 01:25:40,500
Max, we gotta go.
1134
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:42,958
Max, we gotta go!
1135
01:25:43,208 --> 01:25:45,792
Max! Come on!
1136
01:25:47,458 --> 01:25:48,458
Come on!
1137
01:25:49,292 --> 01:25:51,042
It's not starting, it's not starting!
1138
01:25:51,375 --> 01:25:54,500
- Why isn't it starting? Come on!
- Come on, Max, please!
1139
01:25:54,667 --> 01:25:56,750
I'm trying!
I don't even know how to drive a stick!
1140
01:25:56,917 --> 01:25:58,292
We have a hybrid!
1141
01:25:58,458 --> 01:26:00,417
Come on, please!
1142
01:26:08,750 --> 01:26:10,833
Get off of me!
1143
01:26:14,125 --> 01:26:16,417
Stevie! Stevie!
1144
01:26:19,833 --> 01:26:22,750
I said get off!
1145
01:26:32,250 --> 01:26:33,333
Max!
1146
01:26:36,667 --> 01:26:39,292
Max!
1147
01:26:39,458 --> 01:26:42,792
No, no, no, no!
1148
01:26:42,958 --> 01:26:44,000
Max!
1149
01:26:44,167 --> 01:26:45,458
Stevie!
1150
01:27:31,208 --> 01:27:33,667
He left me as a reminder
1151
01:27:33,833 --> 01:27:38,042
of what happens when hope is lost,
1152
01:27:39,458 --> 01:27:41,542
when belief is forgotten,
1153
01:27:43,292 --> 01:27:46,625
and the Christmas spirit dies.
1154
01:28:01,833 --> 01:28:03,333
Help!
1155
01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:07,500
Help me, Max!
1156
01:28:12,625 --> 01:28:13,934
Max!
1157
01:28:25,917 --> 01:28:28,667
Get off of me!
1158
01:28:34,208 --> 01:28:35,958
Asshole!
1159
01:28:48,125 --> 01:28:49,792
I take back my wish!
1160
01:28:50,750 --> 01:28:52,208
I take it all back!
1161
01:28:57,042 --> 01:28:59,625
Give me back my family!
1162
01:29:55,875 --> 01:29:58,500
Max!
1163
01:30:01,208 --> 01:30:02,958
Let her go!
1164
01:30:03,125 --> 01:30:05,167
Help, Max!
1165
01:30:25,458 --> 01:30:26,458
Please.
1166
01:30:27,458 --> 01:30:29,000
I know you can fix this.
1167
01:30:29,625 --> 01:30:30,875
Give them back!
1168
01:30:33,625 --> 01:30:34,958
Take me instead.
1169
01:31:12,333 --> 01:31:14,042
No, what are you doing?
I said take me.
1170
01:31:15,417 --> 01:31:16,726
- No, take me!
- No, no, no!
1171
01:31:16,750 --> 01:31:19,417
- No, what are you doing? Take me!
- No!
1172
01:31:20,750 --> 01:31:24,250
Stevie!
1173
01:31:27,792 --> 01:31:30,000
No, let me go! Let me go!
1174
01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:33,375
No, no, please!
1175
01:31:42,458 --> 01:31:44,958
I'm sorry.
1176
01:31:45,542 --> 01:31:47,542
I just wanted Christmas to be
like it used to be.
1177
01:33:07,458 --> 01:33:09,042
Good throw, aunt Sarah!
1178
01:33:10,042 --> 01:33:12,018
- You want down?
- You may learn a thing or two.
1179
01:33:12,042 --> 01:33:14,559
- Thank you, I appreciate that.
- Cookie? No, that's your cookie!
1180
01:33:14,583 --> 01:33:17,183
Hope this dog didn't keep you guys up,
she likes to bark at night.
1181
01:33:17,250 --> 01:33:19,250
- She sure does.
- Rosie, come here!
1182
01:33:19,417 --> 01:33:21,875
- Thanks for making pancakes.
- ♪ have yourself ♪
1183
01:33:23,458 --> 01:33:27,167
♪ a merry little Christmas ♪
1184
01:33:27,792 --> 01:33:30,042
about time you got up,
we've been waiting forever!
1185
01:33:30,667 --> 01:33:32,500
Oh, hey, there he is! Hey, kiddo,
1186
01:33:32,667 --> 01:33:34,707
we thought the sugarplum fairies
may have gotten ya!
1187
01:33:35,542 --> 01:33:36,708
You're all alive.
1188
01:33:37,083 --> 01:33:38,958
- Barely!
- ♪ from now own ♪
1189
01:33:39,125 --> 01:33:42,167
I haven't felt this hungover
since the pope died.
1190
01:33:42,750 --> 01:33:44,070
What's up, buddy, you okay?
1191
01:33:44,875 --> 01:33:45,917
Yeah, I just...
1192
01:33:48,375 --> 01:33:51,208
Just had a bad dream, I guess.
1193
01:33:51,792 --> 01:33:53,708
- Aw!
- ♪ have yourself ♪
1194
01:33:53,875 --> 01:33:56,333
enough with the sappy crap!
Let's open up the damn presents.
1195
01:33:56,500 --> 01:33:59,125
Okay, okay, already!
Come on, Linda, let's do this,
1196
01:33:59,292 --> 01:34:00,892
- you wanna help me?
- All right.
1197
01:34:02,125 --> 01:34:03,125
Okay.
1198
01:34:04,333 --> 01:34:06,625
Merry Christmas, Max.
1199
01:34:06,792 --> 01:34:08,833
- Girls.
- I got two beverages.
1200
01:34:09,833 --> 01:34:12,667
♪ as in olden days ♪
1201
01:34:12,833 --> 01:34:14,292
Stevie, sweetheart.
1202
01:34:14,458 --> 01:34:16,338
- Thanks, mom.
- Are you excited?
1203
01:34:16,458 --> 01:34:17,500
- Yeah!
- Jordan.
1204
01:34:17,667 --> 01:34:18,750
You should be.
1205
01:34:20,458 --> 01:34:21,667
Oh ho ho ho!
1206
01:34:21,833 --> 01:34:22,875
Isn't that fun?
1207
01:34:23,750 --> 01:34:25,958
- Hey, maxi-pad!
- Training bagging gloves!
1208
01:34:27,333 --> 01:34:28,792
What could that possibly be?
1209
01:34:29,375 --> 01:34:30,875
Oh, my god!
1210
01:34:31,042 --> 01:34:32,292
"Oh, my god," is right!
1211
01:34:32,458 --> 01:34:33,976
- That's from me and the girls.
- Oh my!
1212
01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:35,768
- I had to reattach the foot.
- Disgusting!
1213
01:34:35,792 --> 01:34:37,792
But, yeah,
if you look closely, um,
1214
01:34:38,292 --> 01:34:40,667
he did a really good job
of reattaching it.
1215
01:34:43,208 --> 01:34:45,101
The darn thing,
when we came up on it...
1216
01:34:45,125 --> 01:34:47,292
- Oh, thank you.
- This is great.
1217
01:34:50,292 --> 01:34:51,332
Wow!
1218
01:34:51,458 --> 01:34:52,833
What's this all about?
1219
01:34:53,333 --> 01:34:55,542
It's... it's nothing. Just...
1220
01:34:56,292 --> 01:34:57,708
Merry Christmas.
1221
01:34:58,208 --> 01:35:00,208
Aw, well, Merry Christmas
to you, too, Max.
1222
01:35:00,333 --> 01:35:03,500
- Merry Christmas, son.
- ♪ have yourself ♪
1223
01:35:04,167 --> 01:35:08,833
♪ a merry little Christmas now ♪
1224
01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:10,708
- Oh my, I can't...
- Right?
1225
01:35:10,875 --> 01:35:12,292
I cannot believe this.
1226
01:35:12,458 --> 01:35:14,000
This is the best!
1227
01:35:16,708 --> 01:35:17,750
Oh, man.
1228
01:35:29,708 --> 01:35:32,292
I just wanted Christmas to be
like it used to be.
1229
01:35:33,167 --> 01:35:35,292
That's what a family is, Max.
1230
01:35:35,458 --> 01:35:37,226
Nothing bad's gonna happen
on Christmas, right?
1231
01:35:37,250 --> 01:35:40,250
I just got my ass kicked
by a bunch of Christmas cookies,
1232
01:35:40,417 --> 01:35:41,917
so trust me when [say I can take it!
1233
01:35:42,083 --> 01:35:44,101
"They're why some people
shouldn't be allowed to breed!"
1234
01:35:44,125 --> 01:35:47,375
Do you think they took Howie
'cause of the time he painted the cats?
1235
01:35:50,208 --> 01:35:54,208
And as he had for thousands of years,
1236
01:35:54,375 --> 01:35:56,917
Krampus came not to reward,
1237
01:35:57,083 --> 01:35:58,458
but to punish.
1238
01:35:58,917 --> 01:36:00,458
Not to give,
1239
01:36:01,250 --> 01:36:02,792
but to take.
1240
01:36:11,583 --> 01:36:13,018
♪ you better watch out ♪
1241
01:36:13,042 --> 01:36:14,292
♪ you better not cry ♪
1242
01:36:14,458 --> 01:36:16,792
♪ you better not pout,
I'm telling you why ♪
1243
01:36:16,958 --> 01:36:20,917
-♪ why? ♪
-♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪
1244
01:36:21,083 --> 01:36:22,667
♪ gather round ♪
1245
01:36:22,833 --> 01:36:24,167
♪ he's making a list ♪
1246
01:36:24,333 --> 01:36:25,458
♪ and checking it twice ♪
1247
01:36:25,625 --> 01:36:28,625
♪ he's gonna find out who's
naughty and nice ♪
1248
01:36:28,792 --> 01:36:33,167
♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪
1249
01:36:33,792 --> 01:36:36,500
♪ he sees you when you're sleeping ♪
1250
01:36:36,667 --> 01:36:39,250
♪ he knows when you're awake ♪
1251
01:36:39,417 --> 01:36:41,875
♪ he knows if you've been bad or good ♪
1252
01:36:42,042 --> 01:36:45,167
♪ so be good for goodness sake ♪
1253
01:36:45,333 --> 01:36:46,542
♪ you better watch out ♪
1254
01:36:46,708 --> 01:36:48,000
♪ you better not cry ♪
1255
01:36:48,167 --> 01:36:50,875
♪ you better not pout,
I'm telling you why ♪
1256
01:36:51,042 --> 01:36:54,083
♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪
1257
01:40:58,667 --> 01:41:00,625
♪ children take care,
please be aware ♪
1258
01:41:00,792 --> 01:41:02,833
♪ all that you've done
will come to bear ♪
1259
01:41:03,000 --> 01:41:04,958
♪ have you been good?
Behaved as you should? ♪
1260
01:41:05,125 --> 01:41:07,208
♪ those who have not,
it's understood ♪
1261
01:41:07,375 --> 01:41:09,333
♪ Krampus will come
looking for some ♪
1262
01:41:09,500 --> 01:41:11,542
♪ you are not safe,
best that you run ♪
1263
01:41:11,708 --> 01:41:13,667
♪ you're on his list,
not what you wished ♪
1264
01:41:13,833 --> 01:41:15,875
♪ this Christmas
you will be missed ♪
1265
01:41:16,042 --> 01:41:18,083
♪ there is someone watching over ♪
1266
01:41:18,250 --> 01:41:20,292
♪ all that you have done this year ♪
1267
01:41:20,458 --> 01:41:22,458
♪ every little boy and girl
please listen ♪
1268
01:41:22,625 --> 01:41:24,625
♪ keep Christmas spirit alive ♪
1269
01:41:24,792 --> 01:41:26,750
♪ if you believe, given reprieve ♪
1270
01:41:26,917 --> 01:41:28,875
♪ don't lose your faith
next Christmas Eve ♪
1271
01:41:29,042 --> 01:41:31,167
♪ Christmas is real,
show how you feel ♪
1272
01:41:31,333 --> 01:41:33,333
♪ if you forget, your fate is sealed ♪
1273
01:41:33,500 --> 01:41:35,500
♪ as you grow old,
you have been told ♪
1274
01:41:35,667 --> 01:41:37,667
♪ stay warm of heart,
keep out the cold ♪
1275
01:41:37,833 --> 01:41:39,875
♪ now that you know,
reap what you sow ♪
1276
01:41:40,042 --> 01:41:42,000
♪ you have been warned,
you have been warned ♪
1277
01:41:42,167 --> 01:41:43,833
♪ all of you naughty children ♪
1278
01:41:44,000 --> 01:41:46,417
♪ best prepare for some yuletide fear ♪
1279
01:41:46,583 --> 01:41:48,625
♪ this will be a very scary Christmas ♪
1280
01:41:48,792 --> 01:41:50,917
♪ if he finds you on his list ♪
1281
01:41:51,083 --> 01:41:53,000
♪ this will be a very scary Christmas ♪
1282
01:41:53,167 --> 01:41:55,042
♪ quiet now I think he's here ♪
84064
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