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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:06,560 SEAN: In Ireland, nothing is more 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,680 celebrated than the ability to banish snakes. 3 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,920 This is probably due to that dark period in Irish history 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:16,120 when we had that big snake problem. 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,720 Probably. 6 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,680 But as the rest of Boyle readied itself for the St Patrick's Day parade, 7 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,680 the Moone house was instead being lashed by the serpent's tongue of a nervous, 8 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,440 heavily pregnant teenage bride. 9 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,680 I said rashers, what's this sausage bullshit? 10 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:33,880 You just had rashers, love... 11 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,640 [MIMICKING] You just had rashers, love. 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,480 You did kind of sound like that. 13 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,360 Okay, more rashers it is. 14 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,840 Can I have some rashers? 15 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,320 You're doing a very important job there, Sinead, 16 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:43,440 you don't have time to be eating. 17 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,120 What am I doing again? 18 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,880 You're monitoring the temperature of the curling iron. 19 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:47,880 Ow! For fu... 20 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:48,920 Get ready, Deb. 21 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,720 Where's Martin? 22 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,680 This hairspray hasn't been tested on animals yet. 23 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,480 He's outside with his girlfriend. 24 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,200 [LAUGHING] 25 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,480 Yeah? Martin's going out with a traveller, 26 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,320 Fidelma's marrying a holy Joe, so things are going great. 27 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,760 How come you have time to talk when I have no rashers in front of me? 28 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,240 I'm sorry. 29 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,000 How come I'm on burning duty and Trisha gets off scot-free? 30 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,280 Trisha had her fair share of injuries when she was making Delma's dress. 31 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,760 It's a little bit plain, no? 32 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,440 This is what brides are wearing now. 33 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,000 You don't want a meringue in your condition. 34 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,800 I'd love a meringue right now. 35 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,840 Yeah, more food is what you need. Seriously, Del, you're already huge. 36 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,240 A fussy dress with frills and bows would make you look like a barge. 37 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,720 You're just too massive to... Ow! 38 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,880 Your foot's on my hand! 39 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,160 Ooh, sorry! 40 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,720 Ah! Now both your feet are on my hand! 41 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,200 [LAUGHING] 42 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,240 SEAN: As chaos reigned in the Moone house, Martin made plans with Majella, 43 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,560 his new lady friend. Or at least, he tried to. 44 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,640 So this is a timetable for when you want us to hang out? 45 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,880 What can I say? Love to plan. Always have. 46 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,520 So, tomorrow at 11:30, 47 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,680 I have us down for some hand-holding before Geography? 48 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,640 Tomorrow? I don't know if we'll still be here tomorrow. 49 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,720 You're a tough lady to pin down, Majella. 50 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,240 How about you come to the wedding reception tonight, then? 51 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,480 Tonight? Maybe I'll be dead by then. 52 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,360 DEBRA: Martin! 53 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,600 Look, let's just try to keep things loose and carefree for now, yeah? 54 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,000 Okay. That's...cool. 55 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,560 Martin, wait. 56 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:22,760 Your laces are undone. 57 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,400 I won't be tied by petty conventions, Majella. 58 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,200 Did someone call me or is the banshee back? 59 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,000 We're up against it here, Martin. 60 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,440 Can you get your breakfast down and be ready to go in 10? 61 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,200 No problemo. I'm versatile. 62 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,280 Is that a surplus bowl of Cocoa Puffs? 63 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,720 Someone seems to think Cocoa Puffs and Readybix are the same thing! 64 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,600 - Oh, Jesus. - Jesus. 65 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,920 Oh, Martin, before you eat will you go and grab Delma's dress? 66 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,840 I'm happy-go-lucky, right, Sean? 67 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,400 Hey, you're the happiest and the go-luckiest, buddy. 68 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,400 Don't worry about Majella, you know what women are like. 69 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,480 Do I! 70 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,000 [BOTH LAUGHING] 71 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,560 Do I? 72 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,640 Well, I don't, so, probably not. 73 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,760 [SIGHING] Maybe she's right. 74 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,240 Maybe I'm just too flippin' responsible. 75 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,560 Stupid bloody laces, they'll be the death of me. 76 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,320 They will now. 77 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,480 Oh, balls! 78 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,440 I felt like I almost saw it coming. 79 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,440 [MUSIC PLAYING] 80 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,800 Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper 81 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,440 Wait a minute, where's me jumper? 82 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,040 Where's me jumper, where's me jumper? 83 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,160 Where's me jumper, where's me jumper? Oh, no 84 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,640 SEAN: In a break with tradition, and rational thinking, 85 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,720 Dessie had given the job of best man to his priest. 86 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,760 Looking tense, Father. How's the speech? 87 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,040 All good. Still working on it. 88 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,000 I'm sure you're going to kill it. 89 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,480 - Got any good jokes? - Oh, yes. 90 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,800 I'm doing this whole bit on Dessie about 91 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,840 the way he always shows up for Mass quite early. 92 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,120 [CHUCKLES] Yeah. 93 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,360 And... 94 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,040 That's it, really. 95 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,920 Right. 96 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,440 Do you know any good jokes, Padraic? 97 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,400 Well, let me put it this way, Father. 98 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,040 They don't call me the joker just because I look like Jack Nicholson. 99 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,400 Is it...because you sometimes wear makeup? 100 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,600 It's because I know a lot of good jokes. 101 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,480 Oh, right. 102 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:48,920 Sorry. 103 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,080 Right, well... 104 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,960 You're on your own now, pal. [CHUCKLES] 105 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,840 Come on, buddy. We can handle this. 106 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,080 But I'm sleepy. 107 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,640 You can get wine stains out with salt, 108 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,760 so what can you get chocolate milk stains out with? 109 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,160 Pepper? 110 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,200 That's my boy. 111 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,600 SEAN: Using this laundry logic, Martin laboured to remove the Cocoa Puffs 112 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,000 with pepper, remove the pepper with honey, 113 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,360 and remove the honey with self-raising flour. 114 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,760 What do we use to remove the flour again? 115 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,720 Erm, Toilet Drake. 116 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,200 Oh yeah, that's right. 117 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,520 I don't get it, it doesn't seem to be any cleaner. 118 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,520 Maybe if we put it in the washing machine? 119 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,840 Mmm, I don't know, that fabric seems a little too delicate for a machine. 120 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,120 Yeah, we don't want to take any risks at this stage. 121 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,520 No, we don't. We're like one step away from it being totally clean again. 122 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,160 What should we use to remove the Toilet Drake? 123 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,080 Petrol! 124 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,880 You're a genius. 125 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,480 This is the biggest day of my life and I wanted you there as a part of it. 126 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,080 And now it's not going to happen. 127 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,080 No, it's fine. Yeah, I'll see you on the road. 128 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,480 [SIGHS] 129 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,600 Lookin' sharp, Desmo. 130 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,800 Daniel? Daniel! 131 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,200 Daniel, just the man! 132 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,640 Hey, you can read music, can't you? 133 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,360 Oh, like a gypsy can read palms. 134 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,040 Oh, great! I had this whole matrimonial setlist planned, 135 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,160 and I'm after losing my guitarist to shingles. 136 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,640 - Oh, the poor fella! - No, er, 137 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,840 Shingles are a skiffle band from Ruski. 138 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,800 Listen, don't you worry about it, Dessie. 139 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,240 I'll grab my Spanish guitar, 140 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,600 and we'll be as tight as the Gipsy Kings in no time. 141 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,360 So, all of our petrol is on there? 142 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,960 It's just that... Well, the petrol looks like it's helping the flour soak 143 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,120 into the dress, which isn't ideal. 144 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,880 Unless you want to make a cake. Is that how you make wedding cake? 145 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,640 All we need now is icing. 146 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,480 All right, just before you do that, why don't we just check the label 147 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,240 to make sure that it's not machine washable. 148 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,200 Why are these things so small? 149 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,440 Do you have your magnifying glass? 150 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,320 Always. 151 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,200 That's my boy. 152 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,480 "This is a Trisha Moone creation. X-X-X-L. 153 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,880 "Please call for normal human sizes." 154 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,560 There's something about the situation, 155 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,280 maybe it's just the petrol fumes, but I feel uneasy. 156 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,680 Don't worry, Sean, I'm a man of science. 157 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,080 - [FLAMES WHOOSH] - Oh! 158 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,480 Oh, balls! 159 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,880 Oh, God! 160 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,040 All right, stay calm. What removes fire? 161 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,760 What the hell...are ya... 162 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,760 [WHISPERS] Blame it on your dad. 163 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,440 Look what Dad's done! 164 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,640 But Mam, I was cleaning it! 165 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,200 If you'd just let the fire burn away the Toilet Drake... 166 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,280 Martin, shut it! I can't even look at you right now! 167 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,000 - [DOORBELL RINGS] - Apologise to your sister! 168 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,400 I'm really sorry, Delma. 169 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,880 She meant me, I'm the one who feckin' made it! 170 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,120 [CRYING LOUDLY] 171 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,640 You having a clothes burning party or you after some help? 172 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,880 Not unless you have a spare wedding dress. 173 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,320 [WAILING] For a plus-size bride! 174 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,400 Actually I was a bit more pregnant than you when I got wedded. 175 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,720 We might have to take it in. 176 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,960 Te amo. Te amo mucho. 177 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,040 Eres mi vida. La vida loca. 178 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,040 [CONTINUES IN SPANISH] 179 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,720 I had a very specific musical vision for this Mass. 180 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,760 Dessie, all that matters is that in a matter of minutes, 181 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,840 your beautiful, elegant bride will walk down that aisle. 182 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,560 And her simplicity and grace will make the music disappear. 183 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,280 You're the best best man/priest ever. 184 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,240 She's here! She's here! 185 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,600 [SINGING HERE COMES THE BRIDEIN SPANISH] 186 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,800 She's beautiful. 187 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,480 Wouldn't like to carry her over the threshold, though. 188 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,520 Good luck with that. 189 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,360 Sorry! 190 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,840 Got him all right in the end. 191 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,560 Thank you, Dad. 192 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,480 Let go, Dad. 193 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,280 Okay, yeah, letting go. 194 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,720 Letting go now. 195 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,160 God, it's really hard. 196 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,000 It's okay, love, we'll always have Trisha at home. 197 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,800 Hey, I'm standing right here. 198 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,000 Just keeping it real, Trish. 199 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,440 Welcome, ev... 200 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,400 Welcome, everyone. 201 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,360 On this glorious St Patrick's Day, 202 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,240 to the wedding of Fidelma Denise Moone and Desmond Joseph Mary Dolan. 203 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:11,680 Now, I'm in the unusual situation of being both celebrant and best man. 204 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,160 When did that happen? 205 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,960 So let's hope I don't forget either the Bible or the ring. 206 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000 [STIFLES LAUGH] 207 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,240 Don't laugh at that. 208 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,200 [MOUTHING] 209 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:23,920 Oh! 210 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,760 Don't worry, I've got better ones. 211 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,720 [WAILING IN PAIN] Oh! 212 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,640 Uh-oh. Either Fidelma's overdone it on the rashers or that girl is in labour. 213 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,840 Quick, what gets babies out? 214 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,480 [WAILING LOUDLY] 215 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:41,760 We welcome Fidelma and Desmond here on their wedding day, 216 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:45,080 on what will probably be the most beautiful day of their lives. 217 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,640 [WAILING LOUDLY] 218 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,240 That was a big one. 219 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,040 Are you sure you're all right, Delma? 220 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,600 I'm fine. I'm fine. It's passed. 221 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,280 Super. Hey, keep going there, Father. 222 00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:00,160 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone, 223 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,880 "'I will make a helper suitable for him.'" 224 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,080 [WAILING LOUDLY] 225 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,120 [RINGING BELLS] 226 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,560 You're early with the bells, Padraic. 227 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,920 Sorry, I was just trying to drown out the wails. 228 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,720 This is a pretty rock 'n' roll wedding, huh? 229 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,520 Actually, it's pretty normal for us. 230 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,000 Really? 231 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,520 It's a bit more quiet than most of ours, actually. 232 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,760 [SNORING] 233 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,000 You're some woman, Delma. 234 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,400 Even as you're splashing around there in your baby water, 235 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,160 you still put Catholicism first. 236 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,000 I just don't think I can stand up now. 237 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,400 That's the spirit! Only three more readings, a couple of psalms, 238 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,160 and we're halfway to Communion time. 239 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,960 [WAILING] 240 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,480 We should probably go, love. I think the baby's coming. 241 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,400 No, we want it born in wedlock, don't we, Dessie? 242 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,800 Listen, we don't have to do this, Delma. 243 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,120 Let's get you to the hospital. 244 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,400 Are you sure? 245 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,960 I know it's important to you. 246 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,600 You're important to me. 247 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,760 And we can just bring Father Linehan with us, 248 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,040 he can marry us as the baby's coming out! 249 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,720 Now that's funny! 250 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,520 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 251 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,200 Come on, come on! 252 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,760 - Come on! - [ENGINE CONTINUES SPUTTERING] 253 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,680 It would be a gas if the baby went in and came out 254 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:16,800 in the back seat of this car. 255 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,360 - Dessie! - For the love of... 256 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,920 "God is love and whoever abides in love abides in God." 257 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,040 Seriously! 258 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,880 No petrol? 259 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,320 Don't worry, folks. I always come prepared. 260 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,840 [PRIEST CONTINUES READING] 261 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,720 I just filled this yesterday... 262 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,800 Oh, that reminds me, we should replace that Toilet Drake. 263 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,120 We'll be there in no time, lads. 264 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,960 As long as Seamus here don't need to piss. 265 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,160 On the plus side, this really ties the whole look together. 266 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,400 [WAILING] 267 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,440 Right, where were we? 268 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,560 "May the Lord be with you. 269 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,760 "Let us bow our heads and pray." 270 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,280 How are you, lads? 271 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,880 Are you well? 272 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:10,960 Apart from the obvious. 273 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,160 - Hi, thanks for coming. - Thanks for coming, yeah. 274 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,680 Best Mass ever, huh? 275 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,880 Definitely top five. 276 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,560 Now, watch yourselves today, girls. 277 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,760 I've been a bridesmaid at enough receptions to know how lads get. 278 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,160 What do you mean? 279 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,280 Bridesmaids are like a walking bullseye to a horny lad. 280 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,640 Vol-au-vents! This way for vol-au-vents! 281 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,120 Told you, lads. Vol-au-vents! 282 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,560 Hello! 283 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,080 Cheers, misses. 284 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,120 Thanks for coming. 285 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,360 Now, if anyone asks, I'm a bridesmaid, too, yeah? 286 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,560 Yeah? 287 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,520 [DOG BARKS] 288 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,360 Thanks for coming. 289 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,440 Good to see ya! Enjoy yourselves! 290 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,960 Vol-au-vents! Ooh-la-la! 291 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000 What's the drink situation here, Martin? 292 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,480 Vis-a-vis? 293 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,040 Did your father mention anything about a free bar? 294 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,680 - Is there usually a free bar? - Yep. 295 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,680 - Almost every time. - Standard. 296 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,160 Well, this kid ain't cheap. Of course there's a free bar! 297 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,880 Barkeep! All drinks on Liam Moone! 298 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:11,920 [PATRONS CHEERING] 299 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,560 Uncle Daniel, music! 300 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,240 [PLAYING IRISH JIG] 301 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,280 Is this enough cowbell, Martin? 302 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,480 You're doing great, Delma. 303 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,720 Shut your stupid face! 304 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,400 Lads, look! 305 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,440 We're in the parade! 306 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,000 John-Joe! Turn around, we're going the back way. 307 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,960 I would if I could but I can't. It's a one-way system, sir. 308 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,120 [HORN HONKING] 309 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,280 MAN: Hey, Liam! 310 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,960 Ho! Hey! 311 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,000 Aw, this is the best day ever, Martin! 312 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,480 I never wanna go back to our boring, traveller-free lives again. 313 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,800 - Me neither! - What? 314 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,200 It's gonna be so great when I join you full-time. 315 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,880 I still can't believe we're actually running away with the travellers. 316 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,040 Martin, we're not a circus. 317 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,040 No, no, of course you're not. 318 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,280 Hide the beer! 319 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,880 I've got a progress report from the cart here, lads. 320 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,160 "Fidelma and Dessie are doing great!" 321 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,800 ALL: Hooray! 322 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,960 Who are Fidelma and Dessie? 323 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,480 "P.S. I'd do you." 324 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,680 Lovely float there from Feeley's Fish Factory. 325 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,560 You can smell that from all the way down the street, huh? 326 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,160 Padraic, stop that! They're not sweets. 327 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,760 Now! The next float. 328 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,640 They're not actually on the list here, but I see Liam Moone is there, 329 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,240 so it must be for Moone Signage, 330 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,360 wishing us all a happy St Patrick's Day. 331 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,240 Lovely. 332 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,160 I see Father Linehan is there as well. 333 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,200 You're everywhere, Bishop, you're everywhere. [LAUGHS] 334 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,480 I'm in the parade! Woo-hoo! 335 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,800 Bit of a religious theme going on there, 336 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,880 it's very... Very striking, yes. 337 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:25,120 "And now, Fidelma and Desmond will come forward to the altar 338 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,960 "to light a wedding candle to symbolise their everlasting union." 339 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,200 Sorry, Father. I don't have any matches. 340 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,240 Hey! Psst. 341 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,240 Cheers, John-Joe. 342 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,360 Anyway, that's it, that's Moone's Signage, for all your signage needs. 343 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:46,360 Although, ironically, there's no actual signage included there... 344 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,280 [CHUCKLING] That's us for ya. 345 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:01,760 When you're in your late 30s, you're gonna get a really bad head cold. 346 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,600 But it'll be gone in a couple of days. 347 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,160 That is splendidly specific. 348 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,880 I'd look out for that one, Jelly. 349 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:12,200 When you're 47, you're going to try a new type of breakfast cereal. 350 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,080 - Mmm! - Which you won't like. 351 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,240 Oh... 352 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,440 But you'll finish the box anyway. 353 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,360 But just won't buy it again. 354 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,440 You're like a cereal soothsayer. Am I right? 355 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,120 You don't know how to read palms. 356 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,560 I'm a quick learner, Majella. 357 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,960 Just one of the many talents I'll bring to the tribe. 358 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,760 We're not a tribe. 359 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,360 When you're 63, you're gonna get lost in a maze. 360 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,360 Oh, scary but amazing! 361 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,080 Mmm, he's so gorgeous. 362 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,760 In a ruggedy, wild stallion kind of way. 363 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,600 I tell you, Trish, if you want to catch a wild stallion, 364 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,520 all you gotta do is confuse it. Watch. 365 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,480 Jim! 366 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,400 Look where we are, under the shamrock! 367 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:49,560 Isn't that a mistletoe thing? 368 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,720 Nah! 369 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,760 Shamrock! Got it! 370 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,600 Hey, confused enough to shift me? 371 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000 [WAILING LOUDLY] 372 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,240 Half a mile to go, hang in there, pet. 373 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,080 "And now, the best man/priest will bring forward the wedding rings 374 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,240 "so that they may be blessed." 375 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,280 [WAILING] 376 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,040 I've got them. Don't worry. 377 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,600 Quite a lot of pockets in these robes. 378 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,800 It's a good thing he's funny, huh? 379 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,200 Oh, Gypsy Rose 380 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,520 Oh, Gypsy Rose 381 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,040 Where are you now? 382 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,400 Where are you now? 383 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:41,200 I still love you 384 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,120 I still love you 385 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,840 Oh, Gypsy Rose 386 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,600 Oh, Gypsy Rose 387 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,720 Oh, Gypsy Rose 388 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,840 Oh, Gypsy Rose 389 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,640 Where are you now? 390 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,120 Where are you now? 391 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,920 [SCREAMING LOUDLY] 392 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,320 You're doing great, you're doing great! I'm so proud of you, come on! 393 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:03,960 It's almost out. Keep going! 394 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,320 - It's okay. It's okay. - You're nearly there. 395 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,520 Good girl, come on. 396 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,720 Can you see it, Dessie? 397 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,160 Everything's looking good down there. 398 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,280 Lovely stuff. Fantastic. 399 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,800 I found them! I found the rings! 400 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,760 Oh, sweet merciful Jesus. 401 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,360 The head's almost out now! You're nearly there, love. Good girl! 402 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,760 [BABY CRYING] 403 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,840 A rose has bloomed. 404 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,640 Rose. Where'd you get that from? 405 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:35,000 I don't know. It just came to me. 406 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,720 For all you know For all you know 407 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,520 I still love you I still love you 408 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,320 Gypsy Rose Oh, Gypsy Rose 409 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,400 SEAN: Gypsy Rose! 410 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,480 - Oh, Gypsy Rose - Oh, Gypsy Rose! 411 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,360 Oh, Gypsy Rose 412 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,480 SEAN: The next day, the happily unmarried couple returned home 413 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,600 with their delicate little lady flower. 414 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,920 Just what this family needs, another bloody woman. 415 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,200 Oh, my God, she's so gorgeous. 416 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,960 - I know. - The doctor said we can try again soon. 417 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,680 There's a sausage sandwich inside with your name on it, Delma. 418 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,560 Aw, thanks, Dad. You mean rashers, right? 419 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,400 Yeah. 420 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,680 Dad, phone call for you inside. Something about a bar bill in town. 421 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,960 - Where's Trisha? - I thought she was with you. 422 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,160 SEAN: But as the Moones greeted a new arrival, 423 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,360 Martin discovered a sad departure. 424 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,320 They're gone. 425 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,960 Vanished without a trace. 426 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,200 Like they were never even here. 427 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,840 Well, at least we treated them to a free going away party before they left. 428 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,920 And hey, look, buddy. 429 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,840 MAJELLA: Dear Martin, sorry I had to go without saying goodbye. 430 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,760 But that's just the traveller way, I don't know why. 431 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,080 I left you a present to remember me by. 432 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,120 Farewell, my favourite stationary guy. 433 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:10,000 Majella. P.S. I don't know why this note rhymes. 434 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,840 How did she know I loved stones? 435 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,360 No, I don't think that's your present, I think that's your present. 436 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,960 [DONKEY BRAYS] 437 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,280 MARTIN: I can't believe Majella's gone forever. 438 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,280 She's probably in India or somewhere. 439 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,040 Travelling around... 440 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,440 SEAN: Actually, I think they said they were going to Leitrim. 441 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,600 Leitrim? 442 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,400 [EXHALES] Now that's living. 443 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,400 LIAM: Martin! 444 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,000 - Oh, balls. - Oh, balls. 445 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,040 [BLACK BEAUTY THEME PLAYING] 446 00:21:41,090 --> 00:21:45,640 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33247

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