All language subtitles for Moone Boy s02e02 Moone Dance.eng

SEAN: The boring, old summer
holidays were finally over

and the dull, damp autumn
had arrived at last,

bringing with it
that sweet-smelling slanty rain,

enchanting early evenings
and endless darkness.

What are you doin', love?

And of course,
Martin Moone's first day of secondary school.

- Hi, Des.
- Morning, Delma.

First day of big school,
Martin?

That's right,
Des, dipping my toe into the adult scene.

- Like a peckish shark.
- Did you bring it?

- Kiss?
- After the feast, yeah?

But an eager shark, Des.

Excited by
the prospect of a bigger boat. [GIGGLES]

Have you seen Jaws?

Can I have a lift, too? No.

A lift? Who wants a lift?

I've been looking forward
to this walk for three boring months, buddy.

This is an historic walk.

A new era, a new school.

A new walk.

I think I'm just
gonna stick with my regular walk, though.

Oh, all right, whatever.
Old-school walk.

Boring!

You're jealous now.

You're jealous of
my new-school walk.

You know, we're
running pretty late, Marty.

Maybe we should
ask these girls for directions.

I'm a man now, Sean.
I'm not asking directions from a bloody woman.

I know where I'm going.
It's just around this corner.

You're one of
the big green people now, buddy.

You're like
the Incredible Martin or

the Jolly Green Martin or

Kermit the Martin.

I'm a grown-up green.

No room in my new
school for childish...

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Isn't this your old school?

Flip it!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Dancing at the disco,
bumper to bumper

Wait a minute,
where's me jumper?

Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper?

Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper? Oh, no

[SONG PLAYING]

- What are we listening to?
- Oh, I made a mix tape of super tunes

for the new school drive.

- Jesus and Mary Chain.
- Brilliant!

- Heaven 17.
- Classic!

Maxi Priest.

- Sensing a theme.
- Oh, you got me.

It's my eighties mix.

- Thanks for the lift.
- Wouldn't want my little Virgin Mary...

- Not my name.
- ...waddling all this way in her ownio.

Hey.

You're not
the first unmarried girl up the pole in this school.

And you won't be the last.

Sure, that girl over there
has underage conception written all over her.

- That's Trisha.
- Well, yeah, I know.

Think I'm just gonna
keep a low profile and maybe nobody will notice

that I'm a big gigantic whale.

Hey! Stop that chat.

At most,
you are a normal-sized whale.

[CHUCKLES]

I love you, baby.

You too, Delma.

- Trisha, where's Martin?
- You don't know me.

Oh, right. My mistake.

How could you
get lost in Boyle?

There's really
just two streets.

The ridiculous one-way system
always throws me, Mam.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Uh, hi Eamonn.
I'm afraid Martin here is late for his first day.

- Sorry, sir.
I mean, Your Honour. - Not to worry. Run along.

[SIGHING]

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Cannot believe he's starting
big school already.

- Hope he'll be okay.
- He'll be grand.

Sure, kids today
basically school themselves.

- Do they, though?
- I don't suppose you've ever been to Nairobi?

Have you, Debra?

Oh, um...

- No.
- It's supposed to be magical.

The Kenyans are
such a furtive people.

Probably why they
hid all that stuff in the pyramids.

- Good holidays this year, eh?
- [SIGHS]

Time of my life!
Time of my fecking life!

Three best things
about teaching, Debra.

- June, July and August.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Good.
- Anyway. Here we are.

- Back at bloody school.
- [BOTH LAUGHING]

Yeah, speaking of which...

I haven't seen any poster up
for the back to school dance.

- Yeah,
there's no dance this year. - Why is that?

I always thought it was such
a great way to help the new kids settle in.

No major reason, really.
Just no one wanted to organise it.

So we all got together
and just decided not to bother.

- Well,
that was a dynamic decision. - We're a dynamic bunch.

Well, see you later, Deb.

[AFRICAN CHORAL MUSIC PLAYING]

How are you settling in?
Did you get your welcome pack?

We have welcome packs?

Uh, they're mostly tampons.

It's weird being in a school
with girls, isn't it?

Actually,
I feel really at home here.

Whole place smells like
lip gloss and Bros posters.

Dad says women are like men
who've been hit in the head.

Look at them all.
Talking about periods and scrunchies

- and Patrick Swayze.
- That's not all they talk about, Martin.

I was watching
Patrick Swayze last night in Dirty Dancing...

- Yeah? [EXCLAIMS]
- And I got my period.

- And it hurt like
an overtightened scrunchy. - Ow!

Hi, Eve.
Hi, Addison. Hi, Claire. Hi, other Claire.

- How do you know their names?
- I don't.

I'm not going to let that
stop me.

You have to exude confidence,
Martin.

To be popular,
you have to act popular.

How are you, Jimmy?
Give your mother my love.

Who's Jimmy?

But hey, your sisters
will look after you.

Yeah, that's true. Hi, Sinead.

Hi, Sinead.

Hi, Sinead.

Hi, Sinead.

[STAMMERING] This doesn't
exude confidence.

See you at home, so.

So, enough about me.
Let's talk about you.

That's good. Swing them.
All the way around.

Come on, swing them all...
That's good. Well done!

That's good, Fiona.

Looks like you gave exercise
a bit of a rest over the summer there, Delma.

Yeah, I suppose I did.

Seriously,
you've kind of gotten fat.

You're not the only one.
You've all put on a few pounds.

- Yeah, I suppose.
- Nobody more than you, though.

Don't worry. At least you'll
have your full focus on P.E. this year.

And you're set.
None of the lads will be trying to distract you.

Come on. That's good.
That's good. You all right?

Can't believe art is
an actual class here.

Thought this is
a proper school with proper subjects.

Like woodwork and fighting.

Whoa! Is that our teacher?

[MUMBLING GIBBERISH]

[LOVING YOUPLAYING]

[EXCLAIMS]

- Did I startle you? Good.
- Yes, you did.

You should be startled.

You're in
the bloody big school now. Art should startle.

That's why that
says "startle".

That does say "startle".

What are your names? You?

- Uh, Padraic O'Dwyer.
- Not your given name.

This isn't a police station.
It's a creation station. What's your real name?

[WHISPERING] Padraic O'Dwyer.

P-O-D

Pod.

I... Pod.

iPod?
That's weird, but it's okay.

- You?
- Oh, Butch Cassidy.

Less good. Be more original.

- Sundance Kid.
- The Sundance Kid?

That... That's brilliant.

Yes. Come on now, everybody.
Shout out your name.

- iPod!
- The Sundance Kid!

- Jack Charlton!
- Rasputin!

- Terence Trent D'Arby
- Hitler.

- BOTH: Milli Vanilli.
- Love them.

- Spartacus.
- No, I am Spartacus.

My given name is Miss Tivnan.

Yeah,
but what should we call you?

You should call
me Miss Tivnan.

Now, everybody,
look under your desks. What's there?

There's something
under our desks. Hey, we got it. We won.

- A big ball of Play-Doh.
- Look closer, Rasputin.

- Hear anything?
- What's inside it? Come on.

- My one's just
full of Play-Doh. - Genius!

Genius is inside it, iPod.

And all you have
to do is let it out.

Genius is inside it. Kill it!

Do you want me
to make something?

Oh, not just something, iPod.
Something called art!

[CLAY THUMPING]

You have just been arted.

My puberty just started.

I think I just farted.

- [LOVING YOUPLAYING]
- Yes.

[SNIFFS]

You're in big
school now, Sundance.

- Anything could happen.
- To either of us.

Things change quickly here.

Which is why I'm now...

A mermaid.

Mermaid.

- Splishy-splasy.
- And now I'm riding a unicorn. [GIGGLES]

Oh, God.
I wish I was that unicorn.

So, is it a face?

Stop trying to
make sense of it, Mum. It's not a thing.

BOTH: It's an art.

- So, not a face. Okay.
- Oh, heathen.

Anyway,
how was your first day?

- Did you meet any new friends?
- I met a teacher.

A beautiful, mental teacher.

Who makes her own jewellery
and smells like glue and chardonnay.

What about actual friends?

- Does Padraic count?
- No.

You see, this is why you need
the back to school dance.

You need an event.
To help break the ice and make new friends.

Padraic is lovely.

But it's also nice to have
friends who don't eat stones for money.

- WOMAN:
Hello, Martin's school. - Hi, Eamonn Conlon, please.

Not even Dessie is
interested in me any more.

Cause I'm so
big and fat and...

- Pregnant.
- Here you go, love. Eat your sadness away.

- EAMONN: Aloha.
- Hi, Eamonn. Debra Moone here.

- EAMONN: What? Oh, right.
- Yeah, I'd like to talk about the dance again.

Any chance you could turn
the Hawaiian music down a sec?

- Jesus!
- Oh! I wish!

Sorry to disturb.

Well,
I didn't hear you coming in.

- Wearing my church shoes.
- Oh, all right. That's creepy

Listen, do you mind
if I come in for a quick chat?

I suppose not.
Take a seat, Dessie.

Well, uh, Mr Moone.

As you know, Fidelma
and I have recently sexually conceived a child.

Yes, I'm aware of that.

The Lord has
blessed us with a baby from our two bodies.

Yeah, I know how it works,
Dessie.

And although that was wild
and wonderful

and mutually fulfilling
for us...

You know I'm her father,
right?

Exactly why I'm here, Liam.

I think it's only
right to doff my cap to tradition

and go through the formality
of attaining your blessing

to take Fidelma's
hand in marriage.

[SCOFFS]

Fair play to you, Dessie.

So?

Shall I pop open
the Boyle bubbles?

I think that's it's really
honourable that you came here to ask me that.

But the answer's
gonna have to be no.

- I'm sorry. But wait, Liam...
- Thanks for dropping by, though.

All the best now.

Uh, no! But wait, Mr Moone!
I'm not expecting much of a dowry!

[BELL RINGING]

Ah! So it's
really happening, huh?

Do we need dates
for this thing?

- Hi, Martin.
- Hi, Mum.

PADRAIC: How are you, Mrs M?

Do you wanna go to
this nonsense together?

Sorry, Martin.
I got my girlfriend.

You have a girlfriend already?

What can I say?
Seems like old iPod is a hit with the ladies.

[BOTH SINGING
THE TIME OF MY LIFE]

- Hi, Padraic.
- Hey, girlfriend.

I forget her name.

[SIGHS]

Now, don't just draw her
like a bunch of stupid, bloody sheep. Okay?

You must look for the essence
of her character

and capture it.

But in a drawing?

Yes,
iPod, I want you to draw her.

- [SCOFFS] Stupid iPod.
- LINDA: Miss Tivnan?

Should I maybe take my top off
or something?

No you're fine there, Linda.

I've done this before.
I have no problem doing it.

It might actually help, Miss.

- Let's all take our tops off.
- TIVNAN: Oh, no!

Tops on, pens down and open
your little, arty minds.

And let the sweet
songs of the birds wash over you.

Like
an inspirational power shower.

God, Miss Tivnan is so nice.

She is like a mermaid.

You know, I really like her,
buddy.

I think I might invite her
to the school dance.

But she can't even see you.

So? You can just
tell her how cool I am.

Oh, and how tall.

Women love tall men.
Because they don't like the idea

of their boyfriends
stealing their clothes.

You see, the problem with
this now is that is naughts and crosses.

I like her, too.

You? [SNIGGERS]
Let's be realistic.

- Is this your work, Sundance?
- MARTIN: Oh, uh, yeah.

I see a recurring figure here.

Very interesting form.

See,
she thinks I'm interesting. [SNAPS FINGERS]

Actually I've drawn
him kind of wrong here.

He's actually
a lot older than this.

He should have a pair
of big, silly glasses.

And a big,
stupid, grey moustache.

Yes,
actually, that is better now. He looks totally ridiculous.

Good work, Sundance.

Unbelievable!

At least I'm still tall,
short arse!

Whoops! Just slipped off.

DEBRA: Now, I was thinking we
could have some mad balloons over the doors

and maybe some
streamers in the DJ corner.

Who's gonna DJ?

'Cause I was thinking
maybe I...

I've been thinking about
that too, Trisha.

We need someone who's really
hip and knows what everyone's into at the moment.

Real music hound, you know.

And we have the perfect person
pretty close to home, in fact.

Ah! There he is now.

- Ah! For...
- Desmondo?

Any chance you could DJ
at my gig on Friday?

No problemo, Mrs M.

I'll get my DJ tie over
to the drycleaners. [CHUCKLES]

Those are lovely.

I'm afraid Fidelma's out
at the moment, though.

Actually, I was kinda
looking for Mr Moone.

Is he around?

- Eh, no.
He's out with the lads. - Right.

Well, maybe you could
just tell him I called?

Yeah.

He was very keen to see you.

I know I've said
it before, but...

- I think he fancies you.
- [EXHALES]

- He wants my blessing.
- For what?

- To ask Delma to marry him.
- Shut up!

- [SIGHS]
- What did you say?

- What do you think?
- Ah! Liam!

I just can't do it.
He's such a...

- Clappy, sappy little wimp.
- It took guts to ask you.

Do you think I
should have said yes?

Any chance there
might be a dowry?

[SCOFFS]

And that's why they
call them dumbbells.

[LAUGHING]

- See you later, then.
- Yes.

- Um, Miss Tivnan?
- Oh!

- Sundance?
- I was wondering...

Well, I noticed there's
a dance tomorrow and I don't know if you're going or not

or if you have anyone
to go with, if you are.

How dare you!

And I'm sure you're busy doing
art or something.

- Oh, my God!
- And you're probably not...

- But if you were going...
- Stealing the future wife

of your imaginary friend.
That is low.

And you were
looking for someone to go with who's real!

- And available.
- My back is very itchy. What is that?

Martin, here you go.

You left your spare
underpants at home, love.

Here you go.

- He just can't
deal with the milk. - Oh!

I gotta go prop up
the canteen queue.

You need something to cut
your humble pie with, milky pants?

Yeah, run away. Wife stealer!

Look at me!

[WHISPERING] Look at me!

[MOONDANCEPLAYING]

DESSIE: It's marvellous.
It's marvellous.

Do we really have to be here?
The house is empty, Debs.

Do you know how long it is
since we've had non-silent sex?

Shh!

Why is no one dancing?

Uh,
your choice of DJ, perhaps.

- Liam's here.
- Forget about Liam.

Are you going to let him stand
in the way of your dreams?

- Possibly!
- There's only one person's permission

- you need.
- My own.

- Actually, I was
thinking of Fidelma. Yeah! - Right, Fidelma.

- [MUSIC STOPS]
- [FEEDBACK WHINING]

Ladies and gentlemen,
I have an announcement to make.

Actually,
it's more of a question.

Fidelma Moone.

I've loved you
from the very first moment I met you.

Or at least from about
the end of that month.

I can't tell
you how proud I am

that my seed is
now growing inside your lovely, big womb.

But I'm not content
with just showering your uterus with my love.

DEBRA: Oh, sweet Jesus.

I want to shower
every other part of your body, too.

Starting with...

- Your finger.
- [WHISPERING] Feck off.

Fidelma Moone.

- Will you marry me?
- Wow!

You really don't
understand the term "low profile", do you?

Of course I will.

[ I KNOW IT'S OVERPLAYING]

There's nothing
wimpy about that.

- Ah, yeah! He's...
- Oh, for...

Trisha!
People can't dance to that.

Ah, Mum. No one dances
at the back to school dance.

They only come
to see which girls have got fat.

Well, they will this year.

This dance will be a success
whether you bitches like it or not.

Ah, no! I see
Michelle Dirkins has been hitting the kebabs.

[MUSIC STOPS]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Jeez, she really has.

That's more like it!
Good man, Padraic!

Which is why she
thought the spare underpants were for me,

when really they were
for Padraic.

Martin. Start dancing,
will you?

- What? On my own?
- Go on. Just to get things going.

- Mam! No way!
- Well, I'll work there with you.

- We can dance together.
- That's even worse.

- I'm not dancing with my mam.
- Ah, Martin!

You're not afraid
of what other people are gonna think, are you?

- Uh, no, of course not.
- You didn't choose the name

- Sundance for no reason, eh?
- Have you seen the film?

- I've seen Flashdance.
Classic! - Great film.

And if that is anything
to go by, I would love to see a Sundance.

Don't worry. I'm sure
everyone will join in once you start.

Go on, dance with Debra.
Go on.

They lady wants to
see you dance, buddy.

[TIME OF MY LIFEPLAYING]

Just look at me!

Just see me once!

You won't be disappointed.

Oh, what is he doing?

SEAN: [LAUGHING] Look at him!
Big fecking eejit!

[LAUGHING] What is that?

Look at him go! He's going
to be the most popular lad in the school.

Let's go.

All right, all right,
we've all had our fun.

Come on, everybody come in
and join him.

Come on!

Come on, people!
Come on, join him!

Look at him! He's
dancing his little heart out.

Oh, bollocks.

[WHISTLING]

Hey, you look like an idiot.

Let's look like
an idiot together.

Oh!

We did it!

- We did it, Martin!
- This isn't so bad.

- I think we're doing okay.
- Oh, I bet Miss Tivnan thinks we're amazing.

Quick!
While they're distracted by that dancing eejit!

Come on, you big,
stupid, sexy bastard.

They think
you're the best dancer in the world.

ALL: [CHANTING] Dance, dance,
dance, dance!

- [CHANTING CONTINUES]
- I feel like a swan.

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