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1
00:00:04,067 --> 00:00:08,600
SEAN: The end of the school
year means different things to different folks.
2
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,000
DEBRA: Martin,
are you still in bed?
3
00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:15,067
SEAN: For those with exams,
it's a time of tension,
4
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,667
hard work and revision.
5
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,700
(PRACTICING GAELIC)
6
00:00:18,567 --> 00:00:19,567
Oh, feck it!
7
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,467
SEAN: A time for nerves
and dodgy stomachs.
8
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,700
- (RETCHING)
- Fidelma?
9
00:00:25,733 --> 00:00:27,167
I'm shitting!
10
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,467
(TOILET FLUSHING)
11
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,567
- SEAN: Or indeed,
nonchalant failure. - (HUMMING CASUALLY)
12
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,867
You all set for Geography?
13
00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:41,833
SEAN: And for parents, it's
the start of the long stretch. The Green Mile.
14
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,867
Here's another one. We send
the young two strawberry picking in Wexford.
15
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:47,333
That way we get rid of them
but they pay for themselves.
16
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:50,067
You do know
I'm allergic to strawberries? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
17
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,633
- Oh!
- Oh, yeah!
18
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:55,900
- (WHISPERING) Did you know that?
- No.
19
00:00:57,533 --> 00:01:01,367
Couple of weeks here,
he'd build up a tolerance pretty sharpish.
20
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,667
SEAN: But for Martin Moone,
this morning spelled the beginning
21
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:05,767
of his last ever
week of primary school.
22
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,067
The end of an era,
a hugely mediocre era.
23
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:12,900
This is it, Sean Murphy.
Last ever Monday morning.
24
00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:16,833
A new dawn is rising,
when boy becomes man.
25
00:01:16,867 --> 00:01:19,133
Hey, aren't you allergic
to strawberries?
26
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,067
- Oh, balls.
- Oh, come on.
27
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,667
Here come the shits.
28
00:01:30,733 --> 00:01:33,700
* Dancing at the disco,
bumper to bumper
29
00:01:33,733 --> 00:01:36,100
* Wait a minute,
where's me jumper
30
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:38,767
* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper
31
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,967
* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper Oh, no *
32
00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:47,200
What was I saying
before all the puking?
33
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:50,067
Uh, last week of school stuff.
34
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,533
Right! No more
bloody blackboards.
35
00:01:53,267 --> 00:01:55,267
No more boring Mr Jackson.
36
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,467
No more stupid maroon jumpers.
37
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,633
You're out on your own.
38
00:01:58,667 --> 00:01:59,900
Like a jackal.
39
00:02:00,533 --> 00:02:02,067
Or a lost sock.
40
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:03,933
Let's stick with jackal.
41
00:02:03,967 --> 00:02:06,500
But first, you've got to leave
your mark on this place.
42
00:02:06,533 --> 00:02:08,633
You've got to let
future generations know
43
00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:10,667
that Marty Moone
walked these halls.
44
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:14,100
Oh, I'm going to blow this place
wide open.
45
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:16,733
This week, I'm Martin Mayhem.
46
00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:19,767
What? I thought you
were Martin Martin.
47
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,600
Last week, Horse.
What's the plan?
48
00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:26,167
I wrote Mr Jackson a card
and I'd like everyone to sign it.
49
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,733
No, Padraic.
I'm talking about doing mad stuff.
50
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:31,100
We've got to leave our mark.
51
00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:33,633
I know what'll
make them remember me.
52
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,533
I'll knit them
all lovely scarves.
53
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,600
Look it, we've three months.
54
00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:43,733
I say we just ditch the kids
55
00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:48,733
and spend
the summer making out under the bridge.
56
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:52,300
No, I know your type.
You'll only drop the hand.
57
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:54,267
Just not sure
I'm ready for that.
58
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,633
I'll stay north
of the equator.
59
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,767
Do either of you know
how to make a fertiliser bomb?
60
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,300
Not well.
61
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,967
I'd ask Sinead if I were you.
62
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,600
Oh, yeah!
63
00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:06,600
Do you know what
I'd love to do?
64
00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:09,267
I'd love to go
back to that beach hut in Strandhill.
65
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:11,367
- Do you remember?
- Yeah.
66
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,567
Come on,
you drove us down there in that old Triumph you had,
67
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,533
the one with
the fold-away seats.
68
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:18,400
We snuck in there
with a bottle of brandy.
69
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:19,967
I'm sorry,
I just remembered that wasn't you.
70
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,167
- Unbelievable.
- Shh! Just leave me in it now,
71
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,867
for a minute. (SIGHING)
72
00:03:28,867 --> 00:03:30,633
- (THUDDING)
- MARTIN: Ow!
73
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:33,567
- She didn't know?
- Of course she knows.
74
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,167
But said she was studying.
75
00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:37,300
Threw a shoe at me.
76
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:39,200
- Studying?
- Johnny McGoldrich.
77
00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:44,300
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
78
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,733
Hey, love.
79
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:47,800
Is everything okay?
80
00:03:48,933 --> 00:03:50,533
Yeah. Why?
81
00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:52,467
Well, it's not
that I'm not pleased,
82
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,367
but there's a rumour you're
83
00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:57,233
studying.
84
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:59,367
Yeah, well, I'll never get to
Mosney if I don't come first in my class.
85
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:02,067
What?
86
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:06,300
The summer camp.
Where I'm going. If I come first in my class.
87
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,800
Remember? The Girl
Guide Jamboree?
88
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,533
Wow.
89
00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:15,067
This is really
expensive for somewhere that doesn't have toilets.
90
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,867
Oh, but you poo in the wild,
like the original Girl Guides.
91
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:20,633
And slaughter your own lunch.
And learn to make quilts.
92
00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:23,067
It's going to be amazing!
93
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:26,867
And if we book soon, there's a
two-for-one deal so Trisha can come too.
94
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,800
I'd literally rather be dead.
95
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:29,833
Right.
96
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,300
And...
97
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,633
We said you could go?
98
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,833
Yeah, Dad promised.
99
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:37,767
When was this?
100
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,233
About a year ago.
101
00:04:39,267 --> 00:04:40,800
We just can't afford it, love.
102
00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:42,200
But everyone's going!
103
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,867
I'll tell you what, Sinead.
If you work hard next year
104
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:47,700
and come first in your class,
then you can go. Okay?
105
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,400
That's a safe one, right?
106
00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:52,500
They failed her last year
for spelling her own name wrong.
107
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:53,600
Good.
108
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:57,933
* And still is ours today
109
00:04:57,967 --> 00:05:01,867
* Thou thank we all our dog *
110
00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:03,800
It's God, not dog.
111
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:06,400
Your rhythm was off.
112
00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:08,400
It's a drum machine,
I'm not sure it can be off.
113
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,733
It sounded off.
114
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:12,333
You all right, Delma?
115
00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:17,200
Yeah, just stressed about exams,
I suppose.
116
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:20,800
Listen, would it
help if we just stopped for a while...
117
00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:22,767
- Yeah, that's probably...
- And had a quick shag in my car?
118
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:30,700
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
119
00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,100
(GRUNTING)
120
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:33,933
(LAUGHING)
121
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,700
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
122
00:05:38,433 --> 00:05:41,967
Do you think it's
possible to swallow dynamite without exploding?
123
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:43,633
I don't see why not.
124
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:47,733
Hey, you know what
this week is really good for?
125
00:05:47,767 --> 00:05:49,733
Finding out about
the dynamite thingy?
126
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:53,067
Well, yes,
but also, it's a great week
127
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:56,200
to right any wrongs that have
been done unto you.
128
00:05:56,233 --> 00:06:00,067
Oh, I have been wronged.
All too often for my liking.
129
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,067
What you need is
a revenge list.
130
00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:05,100
Revenge list. Yes!
131
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,100
I'll put it on my list list.
132
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,133
Good lad.
133
00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:16,433
Revenge list.
Yikes. Hope I'm not on it.
134
00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:17,467
Padraic.
135
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:28,433
Hi, Alan, just wanted to
say bye, and good luck with future endeavours.
136
00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:30,433
Aw. Thanks, Martin.
137
00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:31,467
(LAUGHS LOUDLY)
138
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,533
Oh, balls.
139
00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:37,933
Is that a hand buzzer?
140
00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:40,700
- Why would you do that to me?
- Oh, come on!
141
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,733
1986? Ring any bells?
142
00:06:44,767 --> 00:06:47,500
You rang my bicycle bell
until it was broken.
143
00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,733
I don't think
that was me, Martin.
144
00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:52,933
Are you sure it
wasn't Alan Roche?
145
00:06:52,967 --> 00:06:56,067
Alan Roche. It was Alan Roche!
146
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:59,400
Yeah, that makes more sense.
He's quite a cruel person.
147
00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:03,333
- Yeah. I think
you fixed the bell. - That sounds more likely.
148
00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:06,267
God. Sorry about the whole
hand buzzer thing.
149
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,367
- That's okay.
You didn't actually do it. - That's true.
150
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,433
Well, bye,
other Alan from my class.
151
00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:13,467
Bye.
152
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:20,267
I've made a hug list,
and everyone's on it.
153
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:26,600
Are we really going to
follow through with this?
154
00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:30,067
I mean, I make
a lot of empty promises.
155
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,067
Me, too. I mean,
if I were to think about it,
156
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:34,133
I'd say I lie to them
more than I tell them the truth.
157
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:35,300
Way more.
158
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:37,633
Dad, if I win a gold medal
at the Olympics,
159
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,867
can I get Michael Jackson
to come for a sleepover?
160
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,467
Yep, that's grand.
161
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,133
Mam, if I become the new drummer
of the Happy Mondays,
162
00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,667
will you buy me a drum kit?
163
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,833
No problem, pet.
164
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:51,233
Dad, if I finish
all my vegetables, can I be the new Karate Kid?
165
00:07:51,733 --> 00:07:52,733
Sure thing.
166
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,200
I just can't do it!
167
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,800
Well, what are we going to do?
168
00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:02,100
Can we afford to
send Sinead to this Girl Guide Jamboree thing?
169
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:05,133
I'm surprised
we can afford this brochure.
170
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:07,300
You really
think she could come first in her class?
171
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:10,500
Not if I can help it.
172
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,267
- (KNOCKING)
- Hey, Sinead.
173
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:13,733
Hey, Mam. I'm just studying.
174
00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:17,133
You're studying.
You're studying. Good girl.
175
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:18,600
I was just looking
for my, um...
176
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,800
Brush.
177
00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:23,667
- Have you seen my brush?
- Is it in your room?
178
00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:25,233
Yeah.
179
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,500
It's probably in my room.
180
00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:32,067
- Oh, I haven't read this one.
- It's Martin's.
181
00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:33,733
Martin's so annoying,
isn't he?
182
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:34,767
Uh-huh.
183
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:39,233
- What do you think
of everyone else? - Mam, I'm trying to study.
184
00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:42,333
Sorry. Sorry.
It's all about the studying.
185
00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:45,300
Not a peep. Not a peep.
186
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,667
Trisha smells weird, though,
doesn't she?
187
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:05,533
(GROANING)
188
00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:07,967
MAN ON RADIO: Take hold of the
tipper loosely, like a pencil,
189
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,067
and begin to
strike the drumstick.
190
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,867
Gently but firmly,
191
00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:16,267
like a lady.
192
00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:19,567
(GROANING)
193
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:25,433
(BANGING)
194
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,500
(BANGING)
195
00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:31,167
- Mam!
- Right, that's outside.
196
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,267
Hi, love!
Do you want to join us for a game?
197
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:34,700
I'm studying!
198
00:09:34,733 --> 00:09:37,567
Do you think Martina
Naptravilova would be the woman she is today
199
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,233
if she concerned
herself with biology?
200
00:09:39,933 --> 00:09:40,933
(GRUNTING)
201
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:53,567
(ARGUING)
202
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,700
- What's going on there?
- There's trouble in paradise.
203
00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:59,533
First time
a Toyota Carina has been referred to as paradise.
204
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:00,567
Shh!
205
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:05,000
- Some shit is going down.
- How can you tell from here?
206
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:07,233
I'm a woman, Liam,
I can decipher snippets.
207
00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:11,400
So we're trying to make one
child fail her exams and we're spying on another.
208
00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:13,133
I feel like
a pretty bad parent right now.
209
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,233
Would you feel
like a bad parent quietly, please?
210
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:16,900
(CAR DOOR OPENING)
211
00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:18,833
Stop asking me
what's wrong, Dessie!
212
00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:22,833
For the last time,
everything's feckin' fine!
213
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:24,567
Oh!
214
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:29,733
Some shit is going down.
215
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,367
SEAN: And as
the senior Moones went about
216
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,100
prying and lying
to their offspring,
217
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,333
Martin and Padraic made
plans for their last ever day of primary school,
218
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,567
each more daring and caring
than the last.
219
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,733
Let's strangle
the school nurse.
220
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:43,133
Let's turn all the globes
into snow globes.
221
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,100
Let's use the toilet all day
and not flush it. And then blow it up!
222
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:51,000
Let's steal all
the chalk and hide it.
223
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:52,167
But then, in a twist,
224
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,600
tell them where it is.
225
00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:57,200
(SPEAKING GAELIC)
226
00:10:57,233 --> 00:11:01,667
Let's drown Mr
Jackson in a bath of sour milk from the canteen.
227
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,633
Let's turn all
the chairs back-to-front,
228
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:07,100
but sit back-to-front on them,
so we're facing the right way.
229
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,833
Let's put
the chairs on the tables
230
00:11:09,867 --> 00:11:13,433
and then
the tables on the chairs, and then blow them up.
231
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:15,967
Let's cover
the halls in daisy chains.
232
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,900
Let's burn all the Capricorns.
233
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:21,567
Let's release
gremlins everywhere.
234
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,267
Let's shave naughty words
into our beards.
235
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,433
We don't have beards.
236
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,067
Let's grow beards!
237
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:30,633
Yeah! Actually, we might not
have time for that.
238
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,067
Seeing as it's now
our last day of school.
239
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:35,767
They put up a sign!
240
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:40,400
Idiots! This is it!
I got to get in there.
241
00:11:46,333 --> 00:11:49,400
This is it, buddy.
Time for some mayhem!
242
00:11:49,433 --> 00:11:51,067
I don't want to leave.
243
00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:56,600
Oh, balls.
244
00:11:56,633 --> 00:12:00,933
Mam, I thought you were
giving me a lift! I'll be late for my exam!
245
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:03,767
Just a minute love,
I've nearly found my hairbrush.
246
00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:12,933
Oh. The War of the Roses, huh?
Funny how that all started.
247
00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:15,967
All because of
a wrong delivery on Valentine's Day.
248
00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:17,933
- What? That's...
- That's fact.
249
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,400
Bit like the Cold War,
250
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:25,133
which was basically just
a dispute over frozen peas.
251
00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:32,767
Be gone, begrudging gansey!
252
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,567
Go on, Moone. Turf it in.
253
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,500
MR JACKSON:
Get down off my car.
254
00:12:37,533 --> 00:12:39,667
You've three years
left at this school.
255
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,533
Eat fire, you itchy bastard!
256
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,300
Actually, no.
It just doesn't seem right.
257
00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:51,133
I feel a bit silly.
258
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:53,567
Yeah, I feel a bit silly, too.
259
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:58,167
Did you just burn
all of your clothes?
260
00:12:58,967 --> 00:13:00,067
Yeah.
261
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,067
What are you going to do now?
262
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,767
I should probably go home.
263
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,067
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
264
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,967
Why are we going this way?
This is the wrong way.
265
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:17,900
Is it? Oh, sorry, love.
266
00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:19,933
I thought we were going
to Martin's school.
267
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:20,967
Stupid me.
268
00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,833
Mam, this is still
the wrong way!
269
00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:31,267
Right, sorry. Sinead's school.
Sinead's school.
270
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:34,167
Sure you're only
10 minutes late.
271
00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:37,900
Best of luck, love!
272
00:13:37,933 --> 00:13:40,900
- Sinead? Sinead!
Sinead! - (HONKING)
273
00:13:40,933 --> 00:13:42,867
Sinead! Sinead!
274
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:44,067
(HONKING)
275
00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:47,067
What?
276
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:48,233
Is this your brush?
277
00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:50,300
- No! It's yours!
- (GROANS)
278
00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:51,333
That's where it was!
279
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:53,433
Bye, love!
280
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:55,800
Jesus Christ!
281
00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,233
That's very frustrating.
282
00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:03,067
I can't believe I'm leaving
this old place.
283
00:14:03,867 --> 00:14:05,700
Feels like losing a limb.
284
00:14:05,733 --> 00:14:09,367
- A limb? Which limb?
- The one in my heart.
285
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,100
Yeah, I don't think
there are limbs in your heart.
286
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:15,433
There is today, old pal.
There is today.
287
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:19,333
You stupid fools.
That isn't how you spell "graffiti!"
288
00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:22,467
Oh.
289
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:33,733
- Jesus, Trish, are you smoking?
- Dessie's parked out there.
290
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:35,800
Oh, really?
291
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,367
I didn't see him.
292
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,167
Just like you
didn't see me smoking.
293
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,433
I thought I saw your class
in the exam hall,
294
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:44,967
don't you have
your Geography exam this morning?
295
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,233
Seriously, Del, you need to do
something about your eyesight.
296
00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:58,467
DESSIE: Delma.
297
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,933
Hi.
298
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,167
Hey, Dessie.
What are you doing here?
299
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:04,900
What are you doing here?
300
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:06,967
It's my school.
301
00:15:10,067 --> 00:15:11,633
I thought you were going to
come over last night?
302
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,567
Sorry, I forgot.
303
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,733
I played
The Flower Duet alone.
304
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,533
Just me and my Casio.
305
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:19,800
At least you weren't
totally alone.
306
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,467
A keyboard's
not a lover, Delma.
307
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:23,467
It's just a good friend.
308
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:29,233
What's happened to us, Del?
309
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:34,667
A few weeks ago we were like
a pair of wild animals. Like stallions.
310
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:38,067
Now, we're like
a pair of sad animals.
311
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,333
Like sad stallions.
312
00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:43,067
Who don't talk to each other
or rub each other
313
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,233
or nuzzle or anything.
314
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,733
Look, let's go
for a drive, Dessie.
315
00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:49,600
No, I'm not going anywhere
till you tell me what's going on in this situ.
316
00:15:49,633 --> 00:15:52,600
- Dessie...
- Don't make me break up with you, Del, 'cause I will.
317
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:55,667
(VOICE QUIVERING)
I'm strong like that.
318
00:15:56,867 --> 00:15:57,867
Oh, come on.
319
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,467
Bye-bye, blackboard.
320
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,067
Bye-bye, chairs.
321
00:16:09,933 --> 00:16:13,400
- Bye-bye, broken projector.
- Moone!
322
00:16:13,433 --> 00:16:15,933
Give me a hand.
I'm trying to turn over Mr Jackson's car.
323
00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:18,767
Hi, Declan,
would you be the first to sign my yearbook?
324
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,633
Your what?
325
00:16:20,667 --> 00:16:21,667
I made a yearbook.
326
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,533
"Nice queerbook, Moone!"
327
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,200
Well, it is nice.
328
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,700
- How are you, sister?
- How are you?
329
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,567
I have a packed lunch here
for Sinead Moone.
330
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,067
Oh, okay. I'll give it to her.
331
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:48,167
Actually, I'd prefer
to give it to her in person, if that's okay.
332
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,633
Well, Sinead is in the middle
of an exam right now.
333
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,633
That would be very disruptive.
334
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:57,600
Sinead is a very quiet eater.
She's like a mouse.
335
00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:59,133
I'll give it to her
when she's finished.
336
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:02,700
Wait. Is this...
337
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,067
This feels empty.
338
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:14,333
- Trisha?
- Dad!
339
00:17:18,633 --> 00:17:21,267
Why aren't you in
your Geography exam?
340
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:24,667
- Just doing
the field assignment bit. - Yeah, me, too.
341
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,767
Hey, look,
something's going on with Delma.
342
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,567
I think Dessie's
breaking up with her.
343
00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:35,767
(SOBBING)
344
00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:38,100
That does look serious.
345
00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:40,233
Yeah. Very sad.
346
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:43,467
Sweet mercy. This is huge!
347
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:44,500
What should we do?
348
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:47,233
I gotta tell Debra.
349
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,467
Bloody animals.
350
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,500
Ah. There he is.
351
00:17:57,667 --> 00:18:02,200
"Mr Jackson, we've had
good times and bad times.
352
00:18:02,233 --> 00:18:04,967
- "Messy mornings
and giddy afternoons." - (GLASS SHATTERING)
353
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:09,167
"And here we are,
at the glorious midnight of our relationship."
354
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,333
Jonner and Conner Bonner,
put back that drainpipe!
355
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:14,067
- "As I move on..."
- Put it back!
356
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,800
That guttering is not a toy!
357
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:19,167
"As I move on
to educational pastures new..."
358
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,267
What?
359
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,800
"And you'll move on, too.
Don't think you won't.
360
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:26,767
"But soon you'll
have another generation of loving students,
361
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,867
"who will,
in time, become your family."
362
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,467
Oh, thank you, Marcus.
We'll miss you too.
363
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,267
- Martin.
- Sorry?
364
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:38,067
Martin is my name.
365
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:39,467
Has it always been Martin?
366
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,067
It's just that,
I really feel that Marcus...
367
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:46,933
Shh. Worry not,
you silly old fool.
368
00:18:46,967 --> 00:18:48,767
(CHUCKLING)
369
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,900
"School. We've had good times
and bad times.
370
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:55,333
"Messy mornings
and giddy afternoons.
371
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:57,133
"And here we are..."
372
00:18:57,167 --> 00:19:00,567
We've done it, Martin!
We've taken over the asylum!
373
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,067
(SCREAMING)
374
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,833
Come on, Mayhem.
Let's get you home.
375
00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:06,933
Bye-bye, school.
376
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,133
So, we just support, support,
support, yeah?
377
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:19,400
Debra. I told you gossip.
That happened.
378
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:20,800
Poor Delma.
379
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:23,967
I remember the first time I
got my heart broken. Colin Gormley.
380
00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:25,233
Gammy Gormley? (EXHALES)
381
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:28,100
That guy dodged a bullet.
382
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,500
- Hey!
- Wait, didn't he...
383
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:32,233
Yeah, he got shot. IRA.
384
00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:35,267
Ah, right, well,
bad turn of phrase, I suppose.
385
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,600
Shh! Here she comes.
386
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,867
- There's my favourite girl.
- Are you all right, sweetheart?
387
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,100
Yeah, I'm okay.
388
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:45,533
Listen, love,
389
00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:48,533
we know about Dessie.
390
00:19:49,533 --> 00:19:51,367
DEBRA: And honestly,
we think it's good.
391
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,067
- Really?
- Hell, yeah.
392
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,833
I mean,
we'd never have said this to you before but Dessie
393
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,800
- is a dick.
- Dad!
394
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,133
- He's a complete flute.
- Mam!
395
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,033
He sings in the bloody choir,
for God's sake!
396
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:07,500
And what's with
his dress sense? I get that he's a Holy Joe,
397
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:10,833
but does he have to buy all
of his clothes from the St Vincent de Paul?
398
00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:13,567
Which is probably
why he smells of mothballs and death.
399
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,433
- Wait...
- Seriously, love, you're better off without him.
400
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:18,667
Look at him,
with his big Daniel O'Donnell head
401
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,000
and his creepy little eyes.
402
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:22,400
Dad! We're not breaking up.
We're pregnant.
403
00:20:23,533 --> 00:20:24,533
You're what?
404
00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:26,933
We're going to
have a little baby.
405
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,767
And I think I failed my exams.
406
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:36,633
(EASTENDERS FINALE PLAYING)
407
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,067
Aw!
408
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,433
It just hit me
when I saw the sign, you know?
409
00:20:44,467 --> 00:20:45,533
Yeah. Yeah.
410
00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:47,500
The end of an era.
411
00:20:47,533 --> 00:20:48,733
That's right.
412
00:20:48,767 --> 00:20:53,067
No more lovely blackboards
and no more sweet Mr Jackson.
413
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:55,667
- Oh!
- And you know how I feel about maroon.
414
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,600
Oh, you think it
brings out your lips.
415
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:58,900
It does, though.
416
00:20:58,933 --> 00:21:01,100
No doubt.
417
00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:04,633
It's going to be weird,
never again seeing that silly little school.
418
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,600
You mean that school?
419
00:21:10,733 --> 00:21:12,733
My God,
I'd already forgotten it was there.
420
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,267
Looks so small, doesn't it?
421
00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:20,400
Yep. You're
a big boy now, Marcus.
422
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:24,767
LIAM: Where do you
think you're going? Get back here!
423
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,167
I'll fecking cut
your balls off, you fake Holy Joe!
424
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,967
Oh, Fidelma must have told them
about the baby.
425
00:21:36,067 --> 00:21:39,733
Of course we have toilets!
Why wouldn't we have toilets?
426
00:21:39,767 --> 00:21:41,900
That is not what
the quilt was for, Sinead.
427
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:44,300
- It wasn't me.
- Really? Who was it, then?
428
00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:45,367
It was Martina.
429
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,067
* Kumbaya
430
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:51,567
* Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya
431
00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:56,133
* Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
432
00:21:56,167 --> 00:21:58,833
* Banjo solo!
433
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:09,167
* I love Girl Guides *
434
00:22:09,217 --> 00:22:13,767
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