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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,480 SEAN: It was the morning of Martin's confirmation, 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,680 another milestone in his idiotic little life. 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,040 It seems a tad too big. 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,000 Oh, yeah. You look like a schmuck. 5 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:13,600 I wouldn't worry about it, buddy. 6 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,720 You're just a late bloomer. And, hey, big day. 7 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,440 Yeah. Confirmed. 8 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,400 It's got a nice ring to it, all right. 9 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:25,960 Not "hoped for" or "pencilled in". Confirmed. 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,800 Like a well-organised dinner reservation. 11 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,160 I'm a shower, not a grower. 12 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,920 Oh, Martin. You look so handsome. 13 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,600 Oh, thanks, Mam. 14 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,560 Better get your shoes on, love. We're running late. 15 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,840 FIDELMA: Mum, where's my coat? 16 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,040 It's hanging up in the hall! 17 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,080 Your shoes, Martin. 18 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,080 These are my shoes. 19 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,600 No, your black leather shoes. 20 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,320 I don't have any black leather shoes. 21 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,800 Of course you have black leather shoes. 22 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,520 I remember buying you black leather shoes. 23 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,400 That was for my communion, Mam. 24 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,640 I grew out of them. 25 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,160 Ah! Always bloody growing! 26 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,720 Okay, stay calm! 27 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,280 Somewhere in this room, there has to be some kind of black leather footwear. 28 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,800 At least take the studs off. 29 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,080 I can't! 30 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:17,880 They're moulded! 31 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,160 ? Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper 32 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,880 ? Wait a minute, where's me jumper 33 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,600 ? Where's me jumper, where's me jumper 34 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,720 ? Where's me jumper, where's me jumper? Oh, no ? 35 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,360 [BELLS TOLLING] 36 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,320 ? Holy Holy Lord 37 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,480 ? Holy Holy Lord 38 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:53,440 ? Holy are you, Lord of power and might Holy, holy, you are so holy ? 39 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,960 Do you know what's gas? I totally forgot I was your godmother. 40 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,520 Sure I probably missed a load of your birthdays! 41 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,560 It's okay, I kept a tab. 42 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,040 You have them all there, all right. 43 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,920 Do you know what name you're taking? 44 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,080 'Cause I checked through a few saints and I came up with a few suggestions. 45 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:10,800 Aquinas the Baptist? Bonaventura... 46 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,520 Actually, I decided to let Granddad pick my confirmation name. 47 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,040 Aw, that's so sweet, Martin. 48 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,800 I think I'll go for Martin. 49 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,720 Martin? 50 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,520 Martin's a lovely name. 51 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,160 After Saint Martin. 52 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,080 - What did he do again? - Oh, I don't know. 53 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,800 - He was one of the black ones. - Oh, yeah. 54 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,720 Martin's my name. 55 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,720 That's right. Martin. 56 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,400 Martin Martin? 57 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:36,800 It's easy to remember. 58 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:42,160 ? Holy, holy ? 59 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,600 Here we go. It's so exciting. 60 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,920 - SEAN: Mass is so exciting. - Oh, we praise Thy name. 61 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,400 Already bored, Martin tuned out. 62 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,000 Until suddenly, a Biblical breeze of coolness 63 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,120 blew through the congregation like a boy blizzard... 64 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,280 With its own smoke machine 65 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,040 and their raffish robes. 66 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,400 Who was this bell-ringing brotherhood? 67 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:06,800 Here we are, so... 68 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,560 At mass. 69 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,200 With their godliness, and their great hair, 70 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,640 these Holy Joes were a law unto themselves. 71 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,520 I think I want to be an altar boy. 72 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:20,720 Me, too. 73 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,520 Okay, excited. Say "confirmation". 74 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,760 [BOTH] Confirmation! 75 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,320 That can't be what Jesus died for. 76 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,160 If anyone should be crucified, it should be that keyboard fella. 77 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,680 Unbelievable. 78 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,040 I could barely sleep. 79 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,160 We need one more with the baldy bishop 80 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,640 and then we can get the hell out of here. 81 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,320 Yeah, the choir was pretty weird. 82 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,480 I bet they're just doing it for extra school credits. 83 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,400 Ugh, I'd rather fail. 84 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:49,160 And that, Trish, is why you'll never be Ireland's first female Taoiseach. 85 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,080 Well, that and my future drug habit. 86 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,520 - So how's mass, lads? You enjoying it? - Yes. 87 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,000 - Well, that's good. You're learning. - Yeah. 88 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,400 Well, that's good. That's the main thing. 89 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,680 Put the two together and you'll be a winner. 90 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,120 - Hey. - Hi. 91 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,360 Nice Ave Maria. 92 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,840 Haven't heard it in A-minor before. 93 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,520 Or with a samba beat. 94 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,120 Just trying to mix it up a bit, add some snares to the prayers. 95 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,400 Dessie, by the way. 96 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,400 Fidelma. Delma. 97 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:22,560 Nice to meet you, Fidelma Delma. 98 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,000 Right, lads, bit of exodus. 99 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,000 I really think the boots work, Martin. 100 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,720 We could have a big game of football right now if we wanted to. 101 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,040 SEAN: But for once, Padraic's moronic ramblings were falling on deaf ears. 102 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:41,160 ? I was blind, now I can see 103 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:46,720 ? You made a believer, out of me 104 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:47,920 ? I was blind ? 105 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,520 Hi, Petey. Hi Paulie. 106 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,160 Hi, Joey. Hi, other Joey. 107 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:54,720 Great mass, lads. Great mass. 108 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,640 You know those guys? 109 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,600 Know them? I used to serve with them. But I had to quit. 110 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,000 Being an altar boy was just too intense. 111 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,240 Can you get me in? 112 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:08,160 You don't want to go down that road, Martin. Trust me. I've been there. 113 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,560 Grand. I'll just ask someone else, then. 114 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,000 Okey-dokey. See ya! 115 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,320 Hey, I'm heading out to the church. 116 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,120 Going to audition for the choir. 117 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,400 Seriously? The Singing Saps? 118 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,680 Mum! 119 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,240 Seriously? The Singing Saps? 120 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,720 It's for school. 121 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,280 Plus, I think it'll look good on my college CV. 122 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,720 Ah. One step closer to Taoiseach. 123 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,960 [SIGHS] She'll be running the country soon enough. 124 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,800 Oh, and I'm sure you two will be right there with her. 125 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,080 Why would we be there? 126 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,400 I don't know. Assassinating her? 127 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:48,160 [SINGING OFF-KEY] ? So, shall I never 128 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:53,840 ? Ever part from thee ? 129 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,280 It was awful, wasn't it? 130 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,560 When we sing for the baby Jesus, it's never awful. 131 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,920 Usually. 132 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,240 No, I'm joking. Or am I? 133 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,280 No, I am. I am. It wasn't that bad. 134 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,120 Well, maybe I could try something more contemporary, like 135 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,160 Nothing Compares 2 U? 136 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,120 Sinead O'Connor? 137 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,440 Look, Fidelma, 138 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,680 when I play for the baby Jesus, I want Him to be entertained, 139 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,440 not frightened. 140 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,920 I want to make Him dance, you know? 141 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,840 Is He big enough to dance? 142 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,040 - What do you mean? - It's just... 143 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,120 Isn't He a little baby? 144 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:34,000 What, a 2,000-year old baby? But let's not overthink it. 145 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,160 Look, the point is joining this choir is a serious business. 146 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,960 Especially with Holy Week approaching. 147 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,520 And I need singers that'll raise the roof. 148 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,920 And the dead. Do you get me? 149 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,440 I want to make the baby Jesus dance. 150 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,720 - Snake eyes. - Hard eight. 151 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,560 Okay, just stroll over there, buddy. Just stroll over, just be cool. 152 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,120 Shoulders back, head up. Don't let them know you're intimidated. 153 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,280 Be smooth. Come on! 154 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,800 Oh, I love Snakes and Ladders! 155 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:08,400 ? Ave Maria 156 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,400 ? Diaphragm, diaphragm ? 157 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,320 What? 158 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,920 You've got to breathe from down here, my love. Look, feel where my hand is. 159 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,600 Do you feel that? All right, try it again. 160 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:27,360 ? Ave Maria ? 161 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,040 - How'd that feel? - Yeah, that felt... 162 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,600 Really nice. 163 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,440 - [COUGHS] - Sorry, Mr Dolan. 164 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,440 This kid says he wants to be an altar boy. 165 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:37,520 FIDELMA: Idiot. 166 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:38,960 Oh, hi, Delma! 167 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,520 Is this your brother, Delma? 168 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,000 Yeah, this is Martin. 169 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:46,280 Oh, that's so great. Family is so important, isn't it? 170 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,760 Let's get Martin fitted out for a cassock, shall we? 171 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,760 - You're letting him join? - That's right, Paulie. 172 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,760 But he hasn't been through training. What about bell camp? 173 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,080 I said, "That's right, Paulie." 174 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,640 We're a man short. 7:00 a.m. mass, Tuesday. 175 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,680 You reckon you're up to it? 176 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:02,920 I was born up to it. 177 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,280 Good man! 178 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,760 Let's get back to this crowing, so. 179 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,720 Can you believe it, P? My first mass tomorrow. So exciting! 180 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,800 Oh, Martin, Martin, Martin... 181 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,440 It's just Martin Martin. 182 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:22,240 Look, at least let me give you some advice. The Altar Boys Code. 183 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:28,320 Always give respect. Pay your dues. And never be a snitch. 184 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,040 Is that it? 185 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,360 And always hand-wash your cassock. 186 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,520 It's really quite delicate. 187 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,280 ? Set our hearts on fire 188 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,280 ? Flow, river flow 189 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:49,080 ? Flood the nation with grace and mercy 190 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,400 ? Send forth your word, Lord 191 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:56,480 ? And let there be love ? 192 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,280 Let us pray. In the name of the Father... 193 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,640 SEAN: And so Martin embarked on his first mass, 194 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:11,160 with all the nerves and trepidation of a boy serving his first mass. 195 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,080 This is my blood. Drink from it and remember me. 196 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,400 Drink this blood and remember me. 197 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,160 My blood. Drink my blood! 198 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,960 Do something, Martin! 199 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,760 And Jesus said, "This is my blood, drink from it and remember me." 200 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,440 Yes! 201 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,600 Nailed it! 202 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,760 - Nice mass, Moone. - Oh, thanks. 203 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,800 I just felt so at ease. 204 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,320 Don't get ahead of yourself, chump. 205 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,800 It was a decent start. That's all. 206 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,400 All right. Here's your cut. 207 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,440 Wow! Free Eucharists! 208 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,760 Don't eat them all at once. 209 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,440 And 12p? 210 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,760 This isn't from the collection plates, is it? 211 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,720 We divide up the money we find on the floor. 212 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,360 Oh, well, that's okay, then. 213 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,240 And we add that to the money we steal from the collection plates. 214 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,360 - Oh. - Loaves and fishes, kiddo. 215 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,760 Loaves and fishes. 216 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,080 And hey, make sure Dessie gets his taste, yeah? 217 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:35,120 Dessie? 218 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,840 SEAN: Petey explained the structure of the Mass Mafia, 219 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,800 a complex pyramid of corruption and brown envelopes, 220 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:48,160 with one man pulling all the strings. The electric piano strings. 221 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,640 I love the baby Jesus! 222 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,000 Sweet sounds, that's dry! 223 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,920 Martin? What are you eating there? 224 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,480 Uh, nothing, Father. Just crisps. 225 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,400 You mean God's crisps? 226 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,800 These are Eucharists. 227 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,120 No, they're, uh, Eucharisps. 228 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,000 I'm only going to ask you one more time. 229 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:28,240 Where did you get the Eucharist? Talk, dammit, Martin! 230 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,680 Stay strong, buddy. Remember what Padraic said. 231 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,360 Never be a snitch, Martin. 232 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:37,240 Hey, this is cool! Am I a dream? 233 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,160 What are you looking at? 234 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,120 Just my imaginary friend. 235 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,840 The church is no place for imaginary friends. 236 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,320 Look, I know you altar boys are up to no good 237 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,600 and I've turned a blind eye to it for far too long. 238 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,960 But I'm going to get to the bottom of this racket, 239 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,000 even if it takes me all mid-morning! 240 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,880 [BEEPS] 241 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,080 Oh. Actually, it's time for soup. 242 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,840 I will deal with you later. 243 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,160 If I remember. 244 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,280 Looks like Moone didn't crack. 245 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,520 [CHEERING] 246 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:30,920 You broke your cherry, Marty Football Boots. 247 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,520 Nice job, Martin Martin! 248 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,120 Marty Two-Times! 249 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,600 I think the boss might want to show his appreciation, Marty Two-Times. 250 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,800 Wow, shoes! Thanks, Mr Dolan. 251 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:44,320 You've earned them, kid. Also, your studs are really messing up the carpet. 252 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,080 Oh, right. Sorry. 253 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:50,440 And, uh, I think this is for you? 254 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,520 Oh, thanks. 255 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,320 So listen. A slot's opened up for Holy Thursday. 256 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,440 Can I count on you? 257 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,200 I was born to count on me. 258 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,760 [SEAN CHUCKLING] 259 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:10,120 Holy Thursday, huh? Welcome to the big leagues, buddy. 260 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,200 We've got work to do. 261 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,280 - Mam. - Hmm? 262 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,720 You know when a guy flirts with you... 263 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:17,920 I've a vague memory of it. 264 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,200 And then sort of ignores you? 265 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,040 Oh, that part I'm more familiar with, yes. 266 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,080 What does that mean, exactly? 267 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,200 Is this some fella you like? 268 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,440 No, not really. He's a bit of a door, to be honest. 269 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,920 So why are we talking about him? 270 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,600 Dunno. Just wondering. 271 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,040 He's probably just stupid, hon. 272 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,240 But if you fancy him, just throw yourself at him. 273 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,600 Mmm. ABC, Delma. Always be classy. 274 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:45,960 And a teeny bit slutty. 275 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,120 Oh yeah, and a teeny bit slutty. 276 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,040 Oh, great work tonight, folks. I'll see you tomorrow. 277 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,320 God bless, dudes. 278 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,840 - Need a hand with that, Dessie? - [SPEAKING GAELIC] 279 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,320 That Gloriamash-up's really coming together. 280 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,960 I didn't think it would work with the Brazilian drum sound, but you know, 281 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,160 it kind of does. 282 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,960 Ah, what can I say? 283 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,480 The Lord sings through my Casio. 284 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,040 Well, uh, I think I'm heading home. 285 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,960 Going to do some work on my electric opera. 286 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,720 Cool. Want to drop me on the way? 287 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,520 To your house? 288 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,520 But we live in opposite directions. 289 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,960 - Do we? - Oh, big time. 290 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,480 Oh, yeah. 291 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,560 I just thought you might like to 292 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,360 take me home. 293 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,600 - It's a two minute walk, Delma. - Right, yeah, sorry. 294 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,080 No problem. See you later, buddy. 295 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,080 And bless. 296 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,160 And bless. 297 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:55,200 ? My sweet Lord Hallelujah 298 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:59,320 ? Mmm, my Lord Hallelujah ? 299 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,000 Do this in memory of me. 300 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,880 Three point eight. Good. 301 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,800 Faster, Martin. Come on, put some holy in it. 302 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,440 [COUGHING] 303 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,480 Oh, yeah. That's incense-sational. 304 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,120 SEAN: Good genuflect. You don't want to falter at the altar. 305 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,760 Keep it short and sharp. 306 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,240 You wanna keep the ecumenical economical. 307 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,400 We want to leave the congregation reeling at your kneeling, son. 308 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,920 Keep going, kid. You've got it in you. Just keep doing it. 309 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,320 That's it! That's it! That's it! 310 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,560 ? Hallelujah ? 311 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,720 So, we've raised an altar boy and a choir singer. 312 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,440 Where did we go wrong? 313 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,200 I suppose that's the risk you take when you have children in wedlock. 314 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000 All right, kid. It's time. 315 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,720 No, seriously. It's time. We should go. Don't want to be late. Yeah? 316 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,280 [BELLS TOLLING] 317 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:04,440 ? I really want to be with you But it takes so long, my Lord 318 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,720 ? Hare Krishna 319 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:10,680 ? My sweet Lord, Hare Krishna 320 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,920 ? Mmm, my Lord, Hare Krishna 321 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,440 ? My sweet Lord, Krishna Krishna 322 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,080 Big crowd, isn't it? 323 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,240 Well, yeah, it's Holy Thursday. 324 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,800 Shh! 325 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,120 ? I really want to be with you ? 326 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,600 - Morning, everyone and welcome to... - [BELL RINGING] 327 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:38,240 And, uh, welcome to Holy Thursday mass. 328 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,360 - Now let us now bow our heads and... - [BELL RINGING] 329 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,760 And pray. Let us pray. 330 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,360 - Glory to God in the high... - [BELL RINGING] 331 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,560 [CLEARS THROAT] 332 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:50,920 [BELL RINGING] 333 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,360 [WHISPERING] Martin, take over. Tommy's got the jingle-jangles. 334 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,280 Glory to God in the highest... 335 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,680 But I've never bell-rung before. 336 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,960 I said take over. 337 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,560 I'm so ashamed. 338 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:07,160 He took the cup, gave it to his disciples and said... 339 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,240 Hold... 340 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,600 - "Do this in memory of me." - Hold... Hold... 341 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,680 Bells! 342 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,000 [BELLS TOLLING] 343 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,360 You were magnificent, Martin. 344 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,800 Seeing you up there brought back a lot of memories. 345 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:29,520 Yeah, being an altar boy is great. It really is. 346 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,760 Apart from all the corruption, obviously. 347 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,960 Yeah, there really is quite a lot of corruption, isn't there? 348 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,520 That's altar boyism for you. Why do you think I got out of it? 349 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:39,920 Some things you just can't change. 350 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,760 Another triumph, Martin! 351 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,680 I trust you're free to join us again on Sunday? 352 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,920 Easter Sunday? Hell, yes! 353 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,080 I mean, yes. 354 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,480 - Padraic. - Mr Dolan. 355 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,480 Sounds to me like they're going to make you a Made Boy. 356 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,160 A Made Boy? What's that? 357 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,360 It's a great honour. 358 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,280 Wow! Were you a Made Boy? 359 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,880 No. I could never be a Made Boy, 360 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,080 because my Granny's a Protestant. 361 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,560 That was a lovely mass, Dessie. 362 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,040 Oh, I don't know. My bongo solo lacked a bit of sparkle, though. 363 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:19,280 You should be proud. You're really talented, Dessie. 364 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,520 In your own way. 365 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,040 Yeah, 366 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,840 I know. 367 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,680 Hey, you know, I've been trying to ignore you, Delma, 368 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,160 'cause I know it's kinda wrong. 369 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:37,720 But the baby Jesus is dancing in my heart, for you. 370 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,520 Then let Him dance, Dessie. 371 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,120 Just let Him dance. 372 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,280 How was it for you? 373 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,480 [PLAYS KEYBOARD BONGOS] 374 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,360 - Psst! - Jesus! 375 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,200 You know what you're getting mixed up in, Delma? 376 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,360 What? 377 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,280 You're playing with fire. 378 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,040 All is not what it seems. 379 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,920 Are you actually going to tell me something or... 380 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,800 It's Dessie! He's corrupt. He's got his hands in everyone's pockets, 381 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,360 his fingers in everyone's pies. 382 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,920 So, the pies are in the pockets? 383 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,960 [BIRD CAWING] 384 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,800 This conversation never happened. 385 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,720 Oh, hi, lads. 386 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,040 I'll just get that. 387 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,160 Is this some kind of a ritual? Am I a Made Boy now? 388 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,680 You're out. Was that not clear? 389 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,840 Out? Why? 390 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,920 Altar Boys Code. You snitched, you big snitcher. 391 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,520 But what about Easter Sunday Mass? Can I still serve? 392 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,000 You'll be serving dinner, you schmuck. Dinner of dishonour. 393 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,120 - You're so funny, Petey. - I know. 394 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,640 Hey! 395 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,520 Well, at least I protected my family from Dessie's corrupt ways. 396 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,400 Yeah, you really did. 397 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:34,160 Jesus, mass again. Weren't we just here? 398 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,000 [GROANS] 399 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,880 Jesus, mass again. 400 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,440 Weren't we just here? 401 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,040 It's okay, love. Go back to sleep. 402 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,800 [EXHALES] 403 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,200 Oh, by the way, Martin was telling me you're corrupt. What's that about? 404 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,800 Altar boys. I don't really understand them, to be honest. 405 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,120 They've got this whole gangster thing going on. 406 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,000 But, hey, I guess it keeps them motivated. 407 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,640 They keep giving me money and stuff, I just put it back in the baskets. 408 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:16,160 ? Jesus was a sound man Killed by Pontius Pilate 409 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,680 ? And a bunch of angry Jews... 410 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,440 SEAN: As Martin sat there listening to the terrible music, 411 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,280 a regular schmuck once again like everyone else, 412 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:29,520 he realised that one man can't make a difference in a corrupt world 413 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:34,040 and the only thing you can really do is to turn your back on it and walk away, 414 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,760 just like Padraic did. 415 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:41,000 ? Get up, get back up Get up 416 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,560 ? Get up and go start a new faith ? 417 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,720 Unbelievable. Judas! 418 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:49,960 [SNORING] 419 00:21:50,010 --> 00:21:54,560 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30922

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