Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:04,333
(GRUNTING ON TV)
2
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:06,667
SEAN: Twelve is an exciting age
for a gentleman.
3
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:10,167
An exciting, terrifying age
when new, odd thoughts arise.
4
00:00:11,833 --> 00:00:14,667
Sometimes these thoughts
are brought on by tennis ladies.
5
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:18,033
Sweaty, grunty,
Argentinean tennis ladies.
6
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:21,500
This woman is like a walking
advert for cough drops.
7
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:22,700
And deodorant.
8
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:28,033
She'll be off now
to gargle some TCP.
9
00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:31,667
SEAN: Sometimes these thoughts
are brought on by bathing ladies.
10
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:35,100
Blonde, fairytale
bathing ladies.
11
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:39,367
This is the moment when Martin
realised that some cleaning is actually dirty.
12
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,267
What on earth is that?
13
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,400
How's it going, spanners?
14
00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:49,367
ALL: Uncle Danny!
15
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,400
DANNY: (LAUGHS) Hey!
16
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:52,733
FIDELMA: You look so tanned.
17
00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:56,033
- Just got off the yacht,
didn't I? - SINEAD: A yacht?
18
00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:58,033
- How's it going, bro?
- How are you, Dan?
19
00:00:58,733 --> 00:01:00,933
- How do I look?
- Well, uh...
20
00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,333
Ah, there's me favourite nephew.
21
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,533
Come over here
and embrace me, you little twerp.
22
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,433
Hi, Uncle Danny. I feel faint.
23
00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:13,133
Nothing to see here.
24
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:23,367
* Dancing at the disco,
bumper to bumper
25
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,800
* Wait a minute,
where's me jumper
26
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:28,567
* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper
27
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,700
* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper Oh, no *
28
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:39,367
And Belgrade has this
amazing water festival every fall.
29
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,733
Wow, you say fall now.
Like they do in 90210.
30
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:44,733
- I suppose I do.
- Amazing.
31
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:46,300
SEAN: Daniel Moone was a busker
32
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:49,267
who left Ireland a year ago
to embark on a rock 'n' roll lifestyle.
33
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,967
They call that
coffee "a cap of chino".
34
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:54,300
SEAN: Travelling around Europe,
sleeping under bridges
35
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:56,233
and basically behaving
like a homeless person.
36
00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:57,733
What was Yugoslavia like?
37
00:01:57,767 --> 00:02:03,067
Oh, amazing. Good people.
Really good people. Good hearts.
38
00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:05,067
- TRISHA: What about Venice?
- Oh, Venice!
39
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,467
- Indescribable, really.
- Amazing.
40
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,400
- He didn't say anything, Martin.
- Yes, he did.
41
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:13,133
He said it was
indescribable. Deaf-head.
42
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:17,067
This is what happens when you
pitch a tent in Lyon in the dark.
43
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,900
DEBRA: Was that
a traffic island?
44
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:23,433
Nothing like waking up to
the beautiful sound of French horns in the morning.
45
00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:24,700
(ALL LAUGHING)
46
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,867
'Cause it's an instrument, too.
47
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:32,233
Oh, because it's a sound
that a car makes in France,
48
00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:33,400
but it's also a trumpet.
49
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:35,400
- Exactly.
- Oh!
50
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:37,300
Oh, you're right.
That's so good.
51
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:40,100
Funny and clever,
'cause it's two things.
52
00:02:40,133 --> 00:02:42,800
- Its two things!
- (BOTH LAUGH)
53
00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:46,767
Hey, any more thoughts
on last night's trouser incident?
54
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,567
Oh, my God. What was that?
55
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,267
Maybe an allergy thing?
Oh, had you eaten strawberries?
56
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,800
- Don't think so.
- Oh.
57
00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:57,400
I'll tell you something,
it was not pleasant.
58
00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:58,900
I wouldn't worry
about it, buddy.
59
00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:02,900
It's probably just some kind
of infection, you know, possibly fungal.
60
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:07,733
Maybe get yourself
a bag of frozen peas or a small rock-hammer.
61
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:10,633
I think I'll ask around first.
See if it's catching.
62
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:13,167
So you started
to pitch the old tent, huh?
63
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:17,667
You're flying the flesh flag.
Building the dirty snowman.
64
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,767
Been there, kid. Been there.
65
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,800
- So... What does it mean?
- I don't know.
66
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:31,800
(STRUMMING TUNELESSLY)
67
00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:34,467
Um, Daniel, if you're looking
for that old guitar you left here,
68
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:35,567
I tucked it away for you.
69
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,967
Janeane? Where did you put her?
70
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,800
Not somewhere damp, I hope.
71
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,567
Wouldn't want her
fretboard to get warped.
72
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,167
LIAM: Oh, don't worry, Dan.
73
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:47,067
We kept Janeane in a strictly
moisture-controlled environment for you.
74
00:03:50,133 --> 00:03:51,833
I was thinking I might
head out and see Dad later.
75
00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:54,467
Ah! I'm sure he'd love to
see you. He can have visitors until 9:00.
76
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:55,533
(STRUMMING STOPS)
77
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:56,567
What are you talking about?
78
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:00,867
- You didn't put him
in a home, did you? - Don't call it the...
79
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,067
He loves it up there.
80
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,233
He's flirting away with
all the bed-bound women.
81
00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:08,067
- You could've
talked to me about it. - LIAM: And I do that how?
82
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:11,800
By scrawling a message
on a toilet door in Berlin?
83
00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:14,300
They must be much happier
since they got rid of that old wall.
84
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:15,500
I'm here now, amn't I?
85
00:04:15,533 --> 00:04:17,533
And you can imagine how
blessed we all feel about that.
86
00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:21,067
Although our back wall came
down there recently and it was a right pain.
87
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,700
I think I'll head out there
now, actually.
88
00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:24,867
Hang on.
89
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,500
We'll both go out
and see him later, if you like.
90
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:33,367
At least Boyle is
relatively Nazi-free.
91
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,400
(DOOR SHUTS)
92
00:04:37,433 --> 00:04:38,433
Talking to myself now.
93
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:41,567
(BELL RINGING)
94
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,900
Have you used any public
swimming facilities lately?
95
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,700
They're a breeding
ground for funguses.
96
00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:48,500
- Fungi.
- Fungi, I mean.
97
00:04:48,533 --> 00:04:52,700
No, but last week, Mam
defrosted a chicken while I was taking a bath.
98
00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:55,467
Oh, oh, yeah.
That's your culprit.
99
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,167
It's just some kind of
groin-based salmonella, I'd say.
100
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,633
Fingers crossed.
101
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,533
- DANNY: Marty.
- Oh. (CHUCKLES) Hiya!
102
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:03,567
Who are you talking to?
103
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,067
Uh... You! We're talking.
104
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:09,167
You said,
"Marty", then I said, "Hiya."
105
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,867
Then you said,
"Who are you talking to?"
106
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:14,867
And then I started talking
and I haven't stopped since.
107
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,200
You don't still have
that imaginary friend, do you?
108
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:21,200
Sean Murphy? No.
109
00:05:22,933 --> 00:05:25,867
- What are you now, 11?
- 12.
110
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,367
Yeah, leave your coat on,
we're going to the nursing home to see Granddad.
111
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,833
- But it's not Christmas.
- We don't just visit at Christmas.
112
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,600
Fine, but if I see one sprout...
113
00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:44,067
It just broadens the mind,
you know? Course you do.
114
00:05:45,267 --> 00:05:48,567
Promise me, though,
you'll never take Hungarian acid.
115
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,733
Okey-dokey.
116
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,067
Seriously, bro, it's lethal!
117
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:54,633
Well, acid burns
through everything, doesn't it?
118
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:56,533
(LAUGHS)
119
00:05:57,967 --> 00:05:59,700
It's simple
fourth class science.
120
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:05,067
That's a little pub in Croatia
we used to go to.
121
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:06,267
Are we allowed
to turn on the TV?
122
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,933
Sinead.
123
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:11,167
DANNY: This is on the ferry,
out to one of the islands.
124
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,400
- Is there no pictures of you?
- Well, I was taking them all, so.
125
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:16,067
(CHUCKLES)
126
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:19,800
Ah, that was one of
my favourite places for busking.
127
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,733
So you're still playing, huh?
128
00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:26,067
Well, I couldn't let those
lessons you gave me go to waste, could I?
129
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:27,467
Are you eating
that jelly, Granddad?
130
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:31,167
Oh, help yourself, Michael.
It's like rubber offal.
131
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,767
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Rubber offal!
I'm sure it's not that bad.
132
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,800
Do you want to eat it?
133
00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:39,667
I like all jellies.
134
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,700
It's great to
see you again, son.
135
00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:45,667
It's getting late.
We'd better shoot off.
136
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:51,700
- See you soon, Dad.
- Yeah, at Christmas.
137
00:06:51,733 --> 00:06:52,733
Oh, yeah.
138
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:54,833
Yeah.
139
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,333
- Right, come on.
- (DOOR OPENS)
140
00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:00,800
(DANNY SIGHS)
141
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,267
Take care of yourself, Joe.
142
00:07:08,933 --> 00:07:09,933
We'll be in the car.
143
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:18,900
It's just you
and me now, Madge,
144
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,600
with your lovely eyes
and big hairy nose.
145
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,600
Janeane.
146
00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:41,467
(PLAYS CHORD)
147
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:43,567
Piece of piss.
148
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,067
What the hell?
149
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:02,667
Good night, Sean Murphy.
150
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,233
I said good night, deaf-head.
151
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,433
Sean? Where the hell are you?
152
00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:20,467
SEAN: Indeed,
where the hell was I?
153
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:25,067
Actually I was here,
having a nice, relaxing pint
154
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,967
with all the other
rejected imaginary friends.
155
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,067
You hustling me?
156
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,467
- Can I play the winner?
- We'll play doubles.
157
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,767
I haven't been rejected.
Just come here when Padraic's kippin'.
158
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,900
We've got
the mystery of the...
159
00:08:41,933 --> 00:08:45,067
Drinking tea
and watching The Late Late Show.
160
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,067
Another wild
night in Boyle, eh?
161
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:49,567
If there's somewhere else
you'd rather be, no one's stopping ya.
162
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,733
The question is
is that a duck or a drake?
163
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:54,500
Where else would you see
a potato shaped like a duck?
164
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:56,067
Saw a lot of
things in Amsterdam.
165
00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:58,067
Save the wacky-backy
stories for the kids, will you?
166
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,733
Anyone want
the last Jammie Dodger?
167
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,967
Man, you know what?
168
00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:05,067
I've been getting this really
resentful vibe off you ever since I got back.
169
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,300
Jammie Dodger? Jammie Dodger.
170
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:07,867
- Have you now?
- I have, yeah.
171
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,900
Seems like
a jealously thing to me, man.
172
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:12,700
Can you stop calling me "man"?
173
00:09:12,733 --> 00:09:14,500
I'm not some fella
you stole marijuana off.
174
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:17,400
Or bought marijuana from.
175
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,933
Okay, Liam,
I'll avoid calling you a man in future.
176
00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:24,900
(DOOR CLOSES)
You'll have to wait. You won't have to wait long.
177
00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,300
- It's a drake.
- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
178
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,267
That looks
nothing like a duck.
179
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:32,133
(WHIMPERING)
180
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:42,100
(BOTH GRUNTING)
181
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,900
(WHOOPS)
182
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,867
(LAUGHS)
183
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,767
New balls, please.
184
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,067
(GIRL MOANING)
185
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:51,267
New balls, please.
186
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,300
New balls.
187
00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:56,800
- New balls, please.
- (GROANING)
188
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:58,933
Everything's getting wet.
189
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,500
I need new balls.
190
00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,933
- I need new balls.
- What?
191
00:10:05,967 --> 00:10:06,967
Oh, hey.
192
00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:08,833
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
193
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:12,433
- You all right?
- Yeah. Great. Great.
194
00:10:15,967 --> 00:10:17,433
Everything okay
down there, bud?
195
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,500
Yeah.
196
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:20,200
Dry as a bone.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
197
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,200
DEBRA: Martin,
get up for school.
198
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:32,400
Gotta go.
Dreams are mad, aren't they? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
199
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,133
Mine are extremely boring.
(CONTINUES CHUCKLING)
200
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,167
(DOOR OPENS)
201
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,033
"Hey, why don't you
take a chill-pill, man?"
202
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,533
"Oh, yeah, what's that?
203
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,133
"Daniel, the reason
I can't take a chill-pill
204
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,633
"is 'cause I've
got bills-bills."
205
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,033
DANNY: Are you not
talking to me?
206
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:04,067
Sounded like you were having
a fake argument with yourself there, bro.
207
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:06,767
I was making some
brilliant points, too.
208
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,833
- You'd have been stumped.
- (LAUGHS)
209
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:15,067
Look, I probably went
a bit over the top last night.
210
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:18,067
- Ah, we both went
a bit over the top. - You especially.
211
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,467
Listen, there's
actually something else I wanted to bring up.
212
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,533
Well, I'm a bit unrehearsed
for that now.
213
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:27,067
It's about Martin.
214
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:31,100
So the dams burst, huh?
The trawlers went out to sea?
215
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:33,067
The choo-choo's
left willy station?
216
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,900
Been there, kid. Been there.
217
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,467
- You don't know
what it means, do you? - Not a clue.
218
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:44,067
I have a theory about it
being related to cloud formations,
219
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:45,500
but there's no real
science behind it.
220
00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:47,600
I appreciate your honesty.
221
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:50,567
So, what did you
do with the sheets?
222
00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:57,833
- You brought them to school?
- What else could I do?
223
00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,533
I didn't have
time to bury them.
224
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:06,233
- He was just 14 years old.
- Oh!
225
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,867
Foreign exchange student told
him that imaginary friends were for babies, baby.
226
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,967
Oh, what a dick!
227
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,900
Where was he from,
this overseas dream-wrecker?
228
00:12:15,933 --> 00:12:20,067
- Florence, I think he said.
- Bloody Spaniards.
229
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,767
What with
the lack of imagination and the bull murdering.
230
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,067
(ELF GRUNTS)
231
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:26,100
I hate Spaniards!
232
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:33,367
What the... Where's Crunchie
"Danger" Haystacks gone?
233
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,333
(TEARFULLY) Home.
234
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,233
No, I think you're wrong.
235
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,533
Tigers are
definitely female lions.
236
00:12:40,567 --> 00:12:41,633
(SIGHS)
237
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,100
It just doesn't seem right.
238
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:47,933
- Crunchie "Danger" Haystacks?
- That's my name.
239
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,167
Tigers are female lions, right?
240
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,300
They certainly taste the same.
241
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:53,133
He agrees with me.
242
00:12:55,833 --> 00:13:00,833
Hey, Sean's kinda gone
missing. Does Crunchie ever go on holiday?
243
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,800
He went
snorkelling in a volcano with Bigfoot once,
244
00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:05,533
but he was back by morning.
245
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,900
- Weren't ya, Crunchie?
- It wasn't worth me while, pal.
246
00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:10,567
Terrible visibility, lava.
247
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,167
So, wait a second,
are you taking the lead on this or...
248
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,200
- What? No, I thought you were.
- No.
249
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:26,800
(STAMMERS) No, that's fine.
I was just...
250
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:29,233
I didn't know
if you wanted to. I just... I'm fine.
251
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,200
You're sure you don't want
my input on this?
252
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:34,333
I know the lingo.
253
00:13:34,367 --> 00:13:37,967
I know the lingo.
I invented the feckin' lingo.
254
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,500
I just thought he might find
it a little less embarrassing if it came from me.
255
00:13:41,533 --> 00:13:44,700
- Daniel, thanks. I've got it.
- (DOOR OPENS)
256
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:45,933
Suit yourself.
257
00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:48,733
(OVERLY CHEERFUL) Martin!
Welcome home, darling.
258
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:52,500
Martin, please, come and join
us here at the table, will you, please?
259
00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:53,533
Thanks for coming in.
260
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:56,067
Good to see you.
261
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:58,367
Good luck.
262
00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:01,267
Please, take a seat.
263
00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:06,200
Look at you there.
Here we are.
264
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:07,933
Right.
265
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:11,933
Actually, I think
I'll stay sat. (GRUNTS)
266
00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:14,467
- Can I stand?
- LIAM: No.
267
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,533
It has come to our attention
that you've been the victim of a...
268
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:20,367
Bit of a night-time incident.
269
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,967
Oh, can a man not wet his own
bed in this house any more?
270
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,933
Listen, what's happening
is perfectly natural. Listen to me.
271
00:14:25,967 --> 00:14:28,200
- But I'm sleepy.
- Women.
272
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,633
Men.
273
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:36,067
What's it all about, huh?
Who knows?
274
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:40,433
Well, you don't know.
That's why we're doing this. So...
275
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:45,800
Girls are essentially
creatures of the night.
276
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:50,867
They're fascinating
and alluring and...
277
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,100
- Take your mother here.
- Please don't.
278
00:14:55,633 --> 00:15:00,500
Birds, bees and other winged...
279
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,333
(YAWNS) God, I'm sleepy too.
280
00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:05,667
- Penises.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
281
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,767
Vaginas.
282
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,733
Marty, do you want to come
busking in town, buddy?
283
00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:19,767
Do I?
284
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:25,067
Well, that was something.
285
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:26,467
(SIGHS)
286
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:31,467
Not quite as
intense as me explaining periods to Sinead, but close.
287
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,600
What do you mean the moon
is going to make me bleed? I'll make the moon bleed!
288
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:40,567
"I know the lingo, man."
That's about all you feckin' know.
289
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,400
Jesus Christ!
290
00:15:42,433 --> 00:15:45,733
To be honest, Marty,
there's only so much I can teach you.
291
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:47,600
But I'm always here
for questions, okay?
292
00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:51,700
You're at a lovely stage now.
Enjoy it. Have fun.
293
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,467
Get yourself some girlie mags.
294
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,200
You'll figure
the rest out yourself.
295
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:57,067
Girlie mags. Right.
296
00:15:57,100 --> 00:16:00,367
Ah, I should've
brought some back from Germany.
297
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,933
When I was on tour with U2,
we had girlie mags on tap.
298
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:05,100
You were on tour with U2?
299
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:07,800
I was The Edge's roadie.
Used to look after his plectrums.
300
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,400
- Wow. What was he like?
- Oh, force of nature.
301
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:15,933
He was the real boss in that
band. Always made Bono carry his gear around.
302
00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:17,267
No!
303
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:21,200
I remember one
night after a show in Prague, I think it was.
304
00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:24,233
Couple of the roadies
were about to lift a big, heavy amp backstage
305
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:28,733
and The Edge came along
and said, "No. Leave it. Make Bono carry that."
306
00:16:28,767 --> 00:16:31,067
Aw, poor little Bono.
307
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,900
Hey, shall we do
a U2 song in tribute?
308
00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:36,067
Oh, yeah,
do Sunday Bloody Sunday!
309
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,167
- You like that one, eh?
- Yeah! I bloody hate Sundays.
310
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,667
Come on.
311
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,333
- Martin, we have to go now.
- * I can't believe the news today
312
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:47,800
* I can't close my eyes
and make it go away
313
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:51,233
* Sunday, Bloody Sunday
314
00:16:51,267 --> 00:16:53,833
* Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday *
315
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:54,867
Whoo!
316
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,433
Sorry we got
interrupted like that.
317
00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:03,400
I think we should probably
continue having that chat we were having.
318
00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:07,233
I think we got
as far as vaginas.
319
00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:09,333
It's okay, Dad.
Danny and I talked.
320
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:19,067
Girlie mags. Girlie mags.
321
00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:28,600
Read it. Read it. Read it.
322
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,867
I think you just have to
let it go, love.
323
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,333
You know, he doesn't mean it.
324
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:39,700
I don't think he knows
what he's saying half the time.
325
00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:41,367
- Yeah.
- (DOOR OPENS)
326
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,100
DANNY: Hey.
327
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,533
Look, I don't want
to have an argument
328
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:56,800
but I did say that I was
going to do the whole birds-and-bees thing.
329
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:04,067
Well, I just figured
I'm more experienced than you.
330
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:07,467
- All the travelling and all.
- Oh, not this shite again.
331
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,167
- Excuse me?
- What's the last country you were in?
332
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,633
Uh...
333
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:15,467
- Norway, I think.
- Norway?
334
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:18,600
Right. And tell us something.
335
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,167
Do you not need a passport
to get into Norway?
336
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:25,067
What are you talking about?
337
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,200
I found it in
your old guitar case.
338
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,600
- Where have you been?
- (SIGHS)
339
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:48,733
Carlow? What the hell
have you been doing in Carlow?
340
00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:50,600
Working in
a sugar beet factory.
341
00:18:50,633 --> 00:18:53,067
So, just so I get this straight.
342
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:57,700
For the last year you've been
working in a sugar beet factory in Leinster?
343
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:01,667
- Sometimes.
- Sometimes. Right.
344
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:06,500
(STAMMERING) Where did
you get the photos?
345
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:08,900
Found them on a bus.
346
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,667
LAUGHS)
347
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:15,633
- Funny, huh?
- Actually, that's quite funny, yeah.
348
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:18,533
Well, I'm happy
that you find my life so amusing.
349
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:29,133
(PANTING)
350
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:31,667
Holy moly!
351
00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:35,067
Well, I'll not be doing
that again.
352
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,367
So, major update.
353
00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:49,733
Not now, Martin.
354
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,967
(DOG BARKING)
355
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,300
Sean? Sean!
356
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,600
DEBRA: Martin, get up!
357
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:40,300
- Where's Uncle Danny?
- He had to leave town.
358
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,100
Why? 'Cause you
were fighting again?
359
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:43,133
No.
360
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,133
He told me to tell you this.
361
00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:49,467
Bono needed him in Zagreb.
362
00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:54,700
- He said you'd understand.
- That bloody Edge!
363
00:20:57,533 --> 00:20:59,233
Martin, where are your sheets?
364
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:01,700
I got it.
365
00:21:04,933 --> 00:21:07,800
* Children playing
building castles on the shoreline
366
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:11,067
* Like a painted little love
and lord it feels so fine
367
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:12,333
* Don't go
368
00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:14,233
- So what's been going on?
- Nothing much.
369
00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:15,767
- Quite a week, yeah?
- Yeah.
370
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,367
Good man.
371
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,067
* While the sun smiles
372
00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:21,100
(LAUGHING)
373
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:23,067
* Stick around
and laugh a while yeah
374
00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:26,867
* Aha, aha *
375
00:21:26,917 --> 00:21:31,467
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
28847
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof