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SEAN: It was election time in
Ireland and a charismatic young senator
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was running for President.
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WOMEN: Vote Mary!
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00:00:07,467 --> 00:00:10,967
Bright, passionate, articulate,
and most amazingly of all, a lady.
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00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,333
Not an iron lady,
a human, woman lady.
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00:00:13,367 --> 00:00:14,700
DEBRA: Vote Mary for President.
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No, that's not her, you fool!
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That's her opponent,
Brian Lenihan.
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00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,533
- DEBRA: Vote Mary. Vote Mary.
- There she is! There's Mary Robinson!
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Not a tart with a heart
but a heart who makes tarts!
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Vote Mary.
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SEAN: The Mary
Robinson campaign had such low hopes of victory
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00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,267
in the Lenihan
stronghold of Boyle
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00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,800
that they put
very little funding into the region.
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But call it feminism,
call it nationalism, call it boredom...
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I'm really cold, mum.
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00:00:37,333 --> 00:00:40,033
...but Debra and the girls
decided to take up the cause.
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A woman for President, is it?
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Yeah.
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This would be a lot
for her to take on.
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All that stress.
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(CLICKS TONGUE) I wouldn't
like to do that to her.
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00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,933
She does want to
be the President.
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00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:50,500
Does she, though?
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00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:53,667
I mean, I'm signing up for
stuff all the time without thinking it through.
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00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:56,067
Maybe I could vote for her
to be the President's wife.
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00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,800
- Oh, for...
- That's grand.
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You just put a big "X" beside
Mary's name and then she'll be the President's wife.
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- All right?
- All right.
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Unless there's any strong
male candidates, of course.
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* Dancing at the disco,
bumper to bumper
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* Wait a minute,
where's me jumper?
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* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper?
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* Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper Oh, no *
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SEAN: In
a bitter-sweet business coup,
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Liam Moone had won the Lenihan
poster contract for the whole county.
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- Which really
amused Debra Moone... - Hi, Mum.
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00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,067
As she headed off
to her Mary Robinson campaign meeting.
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You're sure you
don't need a hand?
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I'm okay, actually, pal.
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What's she doing here?
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De-clawing swans.
What does it look like I'm doing, dumbnut?
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But what about
Butch and Sundance?
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It's been ages
since we last did a job together.
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Martin, I thought you said you
were gonna fill the spray gun up for me?
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(RECORD SCRATCHING)
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Oh, balls.
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I'm from Sweden!
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Yeah.
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I suppose it has.
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00:02:17,533 --> 00:02:19,067
(HUMMING ALONG TO MUSIC
PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
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Where's Mum?
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00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:24,367
- Campaign meeting.
- Again?
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00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,233
Trish, you're not cooking dinner
tonight, are you?
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If you want to do the cooking,
that's fine with me.
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00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:34,333
Okay! Let's not go crazy here.
Everyone just calm down.
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What delights
have we got in store?
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Just some rice
and veg and potatoes
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and sausages.
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All in the same pot?
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It saves on washing up.
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Oh, that's a shame, Trish.
You know I can't eat cauliflower.
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That's broccoli.
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00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,933
Okey-doke. I think
I'm going to go and have a little cry.
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00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,700
Cool, I'll give you a shout
when it's ready.
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00:02:58,733 --> 00:03:01,767
Just waiting for the plastic
to dissolve.
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ROBINSON: Every day,
there is more enthusiasm.
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00:03:04,533 --> 00:03:06,267
People have thought
about the presidency,
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they want something different,
they want change...
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00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:11,967
Look at her there,
with her strong hands and her bouncy hair.
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(ALL EXCLAIMING IN ADMIRATION)
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00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,367
She's like the Joan
of Arc of Connaught.
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00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,067
Sorry, where were we?
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- Strategy meeting.
- Right. Thank you, Debra.
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Now, I was thinking,
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00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:26,467
if it wasn't too much trouble,
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doorstep canvassing.
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- How do we feel about that?
- I'd welcome the opportunity.
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00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,600
Oh, not right now, Gwen.
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00:03:33,633 --> 00:03:35,633
Yeah, you know,
it's all very well, the door-to-doors,
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00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:38,800
but we really need to get
more Mary posters up.
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00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:41,500
The one we have is great,
but it's just not enough.
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There's only one Mary poster?
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It seems like more.
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00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:46,067
That's 'cause I keep
moving it around every night.
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00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:51,933
And I needn't tell you ladies
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how quickly Velcro loses
its velcrosity after a shower.
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00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,100
- Don't talk to me...
- Jesus.
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00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:58,133
Still, we have our
mobile campaign unit.
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00:03:58,567 --> 00:03:59,633
(DOG BARKING)
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00:04:00,933 --> 00:04:02,667
It's just not
very presidential, though, is it?
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00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,867
No, it's not, it's not.
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00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,267
Is there no chance
Liam will give us a few freebies?
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00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,833
We can't expect charity,
ladies. We simply have to raise some funds.
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00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:12,400
What a lovely man Liam is.
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00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:15,067
- Oh, he is. He's a lovely man.
- Aye, he's gas.
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00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,900
Yeah. Yeah, but as I was saying
about the funding...
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- Let's not have an argument.
- What? Who's arguing?
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00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:23,967
Sorry, but it felt like
an argument there for a second.
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00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,933
No, no one's arguing.
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00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:28,267
- I think you're arguing, Debra.
- She is, yeah. Yeah.
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00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:30,067
It was a bit snidy.
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00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,767
No, I am just suggesting
that we approach
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the more affluent citizens of
Boyle and ask for political donations.
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00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,100
- Excellent.
- After the meeting, Gwen.
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You're such a clever person.
We should do that.
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(CHUCKLES) War averted.
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00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:43,933
Does anyone in
Boyle have money?
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00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:50,333
- There's Pat Burke.
- No, he's dead, sure.
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00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:51,367
Oh, that's right.
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00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,600
- James Brogan?
- Dead.
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The other one.
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00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,367
Oh, yeah, from Bridge Street.
I thought you meant...
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The butcher?
No, he's long gone.
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00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,267
Yeah, the big C got him.
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- Hit by a car.
- The younger one.
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00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,467
Yeah, he's dead, too.
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00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,767
- Francie Feeley has money.
- (HISSES IN REVULSION)
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Touchy Feeley.
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00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,433
He's such a letch.
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00:05:08,467 --> 00:05:10,967
Yeah, my Roger wouldn't like
me going near Touchy Feeley's house.
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00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:13,167
Right, we're in agreement
so to forget that idea.
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(SIGHS HEAVILY)
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SEAN: Francie "Touchy" Feeley
owned the local fish factory.
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00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:23,200
He was a rich,
uncomplicated tool,
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whose nickname was earned due
to his overexuberant affection.
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00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:27,500
Smack your arse there.
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00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:29,800
Touchy's physical bonhomie
may have been welcomed
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00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:32,667
had he not always borne
the fresh scent of gutted mackerel.
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00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,067
FEELEY: There's more than
one way to skin a cat.
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You don't want to be the cat.
All right. Bye-bye, now, Father.
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MAN ON TV:
Presidential election news now. In Feeder Falls,
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candidate Brian Lenihan was
seen surging ahead today in the opinion polls,
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00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:47,167
while Labour's
Mary Robinson insists she is still in the race.
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00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,767
They say quite openly,
"This time I'm voting
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00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,167
"for the best person to be
President and I'm going to vote for you."
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00:05:58,367 --> 00:06:00,467
I'll mop the floor
with you, Robinson.
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00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,233
This is quite
progressive of you, Brian.
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00:06:02,267 --> 00:06:05,533
When you lose the election,
you'll make a good house-husband.
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00:06:05,567 --> 00:06:07,067
MAN ON TV: The origins
of the Workers' Party
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can be found in
the early 1960s, with the more modern...
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We are not eating that shit.
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00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,433
Oh, great! I'm on time.
I thought you'd have finished eating.
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00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:17,467
I have.
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00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:19,633
Did you get a haircut?
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00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,300
Just a trim.
What do you think?
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- Oh, my God, you got the Mary!
- I did.
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00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,533
What is it? Is it a person?
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00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:27,900
I love it, Mum.
The Mary is so in at the moment.
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00:06:27,933 --> 00:06:30,267
- Stop it.
- It's modern and sophisticated...
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00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,833
- Go on.
- And articulate.
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00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,400
An articulate haircut?
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00:06:34,633 --> 00:06:37,800
You wouldn't understand.
It's about feminism.
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00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:41,233
So, is it shorter than it was?
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(SIGHING) Lord.
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00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:46,300
Sorry, wrong house.
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00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:48,700
Great.
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00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:54,733
Yeah, I think I'll try
another house, too.
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00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:58,300
This election
is more important for them as women
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00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:01,067
than any membership
of any political party.
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00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:03,533
I was thinking, to help
ease your conscience,
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00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:06,500
maybe I'll let you do
a few Mary posters for free.
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00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:08,067
Just so you can
sleep better at night.
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00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:10,100
(SNORING)
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(LAUGHS)
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00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,667
That's your fake snore.
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00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,633
Your real snore is
far more unpleasant.
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00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:19,667
I said I'd give
you a discount. Now, push over.
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00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:23,267
Oh, I suppose
there's just no room for a modern woman these days.
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00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,067
All right, Joni Mitchell,
park your horse.
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00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,800
I like Mary, I do.
I have to get paid, though.
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00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,100
How do you feel
about half-price?
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Well, not great.
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00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:39,133
But half of
nothing is nothing.
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00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,500
So sure, half-price it is.
Now, shift over.
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00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,700
Do we have
the clappy light thing?
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The bulb's loose.
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00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,233
- Want some?
- Nah.
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00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:01,600
I'm going to show off
my new look. I'm going to go for another strut.
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00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,567
SEAN: Back the truck up.
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00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,333
That's no rice sandwich.
182
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,500
Is that... No.
183
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,133
Oh, sweet mercy, that's gravy.
184
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,567
(MOANS) Oh,
it smells like angels.
185
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:30,900
Is that jasmine?
Is that what that is?
186
00:08:30,933 --> 00:08:33,067
It's jasmine.
It's jasmine gravy.
187
00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:37,500
Delicious Baby J,
did you see that?
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00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:38,933
You know what that is,
don't you?
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00:08:40,467 --> 00:08:43,200
Do it.
Follow your gut, Martin.
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00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:45,300
Martin! That child is eating
a homemade Wagon Wheel!
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00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,233
I don't believe we've met.
192
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:57,233
- Look at this place.
- He calls it the Pollack Palace.
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00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:59,067
Although the guards
call it Elm Street.
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00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,700
'Cause so many women come
running out screaming.
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00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,633
(EXHALES) We have to do it.
196
00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:05,633
For Mary.
197
00:09:08,567 --> 00:09:11,333
So, your mam's an actual chef?
198
00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:13,433
Well, kind of.
199
00:09:13,467 --> 00:09:14,933
She's a pastry chef.
200
00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:16,233
A pastry chef!
201
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:18,067
Well, she doesn't do it
full-time any more,
202
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,967
so now she just
bakes for us at home.
203
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:22,567
Just bakes for you at home!
204
00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:25,100
Yeah, it's so boring.
205
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:27,333
All she talks about is
bloody delicious food.
206
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,733
If I eat one more
eclair this week,
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00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,433
I think I might scream.
208
00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:33,500
(DREAMILY) Mmm...
209
00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:35,100
Cream.
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00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,933
- Are you, okay?
- Yeah.
211
00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,367
Never been butter.
212
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,600
- Want to come in and play?
- Oh, yes, I'm starving.
213
00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:47,967
Our granddaughters
will thank us.
214
00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:49,567
I had a hysterectomy in 1984.
215
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:58,500
(WOMAN SHOUTING IN POLISH)
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00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:01,000
You're talking gobbledegook!
217
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:03,400
It's not my fault
you didn't read the ad properly!
218
00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,700
Hello, you must be suffragettes.
219
00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:09,567
Uh, skedaddle up there,
but pop your shoes off first,
220
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,600
and your socks.
221
00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:19,900
Well, Barbara,
that was delicious.
222
00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:22,967
Duck l'orange?
Birds and fruit?
223
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:27,167
Who knew? I'm going to go home
and stick a banana in a pigeon.
224
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,167
(ALL LAUGHING)
225
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,467
Yeah, or a pineapple
in a pheasant.
226
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:35,633
Yeah, I don't think
that would work, Mike.
227
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,867
We're just so glad
that Trevor's made a friend.
228
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:42,533
A best friend.
229
00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:44,700
Is that Pavlova?
230
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:46,033
It's Pavlova Tuesday.
231
00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:50,100
- Want some jus?
- You bet I feckin' jus!
232
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:51,800
(LAUGHING)
233
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:52,867
Thanks, Eclair.
234
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,600
SEAN: As Martin filled
his neglected belly,
235
00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:58,467
the Robinson crusaders
tried to fill their campaign chests.
236
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,933
And we think she'd be great
for women's rights
237
00:11:00,967 --> 00:11:04,067
and, er,
breaking down boundaries.
238
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:07,067
There's nothing I like more
than breaking down women's boundaries.
239
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:11,767
For too long, women
have had their hands tied,
240
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:16,300
struggling to breathe
beneath mirrored ceilings.
241
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:18,500
Um, glass ceilings?
242
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:22,067
Indeed. It's like Mary said,
you know,
243
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:25,667
"If the rights of
women are constrained, no man can be truly free.
244
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:29,133
"He may have the power,
but he'll not have the freedom."
245
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:32,600
Wow, you're actually
quoting her.
246
00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:34,533
You seem surprised.
247
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:37,067
Did I not tell you I
was a big Mary man?
248
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:39,133
You do seem like
a big Mary man, all right.
249
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,600
That I am.
250
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:42,867
I'm huge.
251
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,100
(EXHALING)
252
00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:49,267
Do you not have one of those
full-size Mary posters?
253
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:50,833
You know,
with the legs and everything?
254
00:11:50,867 --> 00:11:52,367
No. No, I'm afraid we don't.
255
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:57,667
Why not? If I had a body like
hers, I'd be displaying it everywhere.
256
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:01,467
The thing is, we're actually
kind of having some funding issues.
257
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:03,400
Not any more, you're not.
258
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:05,867
What do you mean?
259
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:08,800
Well, I'll give you the money.
260
00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,100
(STAMMERING) Was that
not obvious? That's...
261
00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:13,067
'Cause I was
pointing at meself with me thumb.
262
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,333
Oh, right. Yeah, of course.
263
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:16,467
Sorry.
264
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,567
Well, anything that you can do
to help the cause...
265
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,167
- A thousand pounds.
- Wow!
266
00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:22,733
That would be amazing.
267
00:12:22,767 --> 00:12:24,733
That's no problem.
You know, it's like the old saying,
268
00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,067
"You scratch my back,"
et cetera.
269
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,533
Great! (LAUGHS)
270
00:12:27,567 --> 00:12:29,067
(STAMMERING) Sorry,
When you say "scratch"...
271
00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:30,900
"Nobody puts
Mary in the corner."
272
00:12:30,933 --> 00:12:33,367
Dirty Dancing. Brilliant.
Will you watch a film?
273
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,900
Um...
274
00:12:34,933 --> 00:12:36,700
No, I think we'd better go.
275
00:12:36,733 --> 00:12:37,800
I think you better.
276
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,067
I think you better.
277
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:42,100
(CHUCKLING) Yeah,
we'd better go.
278
00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:44,633
Now, would they be pop socks
or a full tight?
279
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:46,233
Uh, full tight.
280
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,100
Can't tell.
281
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:53,067
Au revoir, mes...
Mes petites revolutionnaires.
282
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:54,667
- Oh, he speaks French.
- Whoo!
283
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,167
Well, they have the best maids.
284
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,067
You all right there?
285
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,633
Oh! Give us a kiss. (CHUCKLES)
286
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,333
Hey, come here!
You don't get away so easy.
287
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:04,400
Bye.
288
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:07,100
- She nearly
slipped through me net. - DEBRA: I did.
289
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:08,933
Thank you again,
Mr Feeley, that was...
290
00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:10,700
- It's very refreshing.
- All right, I'll be in touch.
291
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,167
Oh, that was delicious.
292
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,067
Barbara truly does have wands
for hands.
293
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,067
Yeah.
294
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,567
I think I was
too chatty, though.
295
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,667
What?
296
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:25,867
Nope, you were charming,
is what you were, sir.
297
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,900
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
298
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:32,100
Your missing
pencil case anecdote. It killed me, as always.
299
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,700
- Well, that is a great story.
- Yeah.
300
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:36,733
I can't wait to go
back tomorrow night.
301
00:13:36,767 --> 00:13:40,133
Oh, do you really think
I should go back so soon?
302
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,333
Of course you should! Oh...
303
00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:45,400
Martin, they'd be so
disappointed if you weren't here tomorrow night.
304
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:46,467
They wouldn't even eat!
305
00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:50,067
(CHUCKLES) You are so right.
306
00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:53,500
- I'm too hard on myself.
- I'm always saying it.
307
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,800
SEAN: But would Martin's best
friend be so welcoming of his new pastry pal?
308
00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:59,400
(LAUGHING) You're a riot.
309
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:03,433
- I didn't say anything.
- (LAUGHING)
310
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,267
Well, this is a bit sudden.
311
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:08,067
You're all over that new kid
like a tramp on chips.
312
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:11,067
Chips? Are people
still eating chips?
313
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,133
Here, try this.
314
00:14:16,633 --> 00:14:21,200
That is a chocolate mouse,
injected with homemade creme egg.
315
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:23,333
His mam makes them, P!
316
00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:24,867
With her wand hands!
317
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:27,733
Oh! I get it.
318
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,367
So you're just using him.
319
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,067
Ah, that's grand, then.
320
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,100
(PHONE RINGING)
321
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:35,700
62247.
322
00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:37,767
FEELEY: It's 62248
I'm looking for.
323
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:38,867
No problem, bye-bye.
324
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,867
Wait, wait, I'm joking with you.
325
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,733
(CHUCKLES) It's me.
326
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,767
Oh, hi, Mr Feeley.
327
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,233
I was yanking
your old chain there.
328
00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:47,367
- Good one.
- Right-o. Well,
329
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,400
I've a cheque
that I've written here for you.
330
00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:51,533
That's great. Thanks again.
331
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:54,567
I've been thinking about what
I'd like you to do to return the favour.
332
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,600
Oh!
333
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:57,700
Right!
334
00:14:57,733 --> 00:15:00,600
I'd like you to come over
and do a spot of cleaning for me.
335
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,567
Excuse me?
336
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,700
Remember, we were talking
about scratching each other,
337
00:15:05,733 --> 00:15:09,067
and, uh, you know,
when I said I'd give you the thousand pounds.
338
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:12,767
(HESITANTLY) Well, I'm sure
we can get someone to go over and do that.
339
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:17,333
(STAMMERING) No, no, no.
It has to be yourself and Linda.
340
00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:19,800
These foreign cleaners
are dropping like flies.
341
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:23,933
I need strong Irish backs
for the things I need doing.
342
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,833
Well, I'll have to talk
to Linda, of course...
343
00:15:26,867 --> 00:15:29,467
Brilliant! I'll see you
later on.
344
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,700
And Debra?
Um, wear something nice.
345
00:15:38,267 --> 00:15:39,767
Oh, hi, Martin.
346
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,733
I wasn't sure what we were
eating, so I just brought a bottle of both.
347
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,167
Cover all bases.
348
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,433
Erm... I'm going to
open this one
349
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,267
and you might want to
throw that in the fridge.
350
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:54,067
And there's no chance
he just wants you to clean his house?
351
00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:57,467
They call him "Touchy" Feeley,
not "Keeps His Hands To Himself" Feeley.
352
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,567
Look, I'm happy to
embarrass myself for the cause.
353
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,233
Sure, look it, if I have to
parade around in whatever
354
00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:05,867
and do a little polishing
for the sake of feminism, then so be it.
355
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,067
It's all for the greater good.
356
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,867
Yeah, and I've got some stuff
we can wear. What's your bra size?
357
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:11,900
No!
358
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,767
I'm... I'm not finished.
359
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,133
We're here to
better our plight, not muddy it.
360
00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:19,667
This is our time!
361
00:16:20,733 --> 00:16:22,900
I've rented myself
to enough bad men.
362
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,633
It's time to own myself.
363
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:32,867
Votes or no votes,
if we succumb to this endless BS, we lose.
364
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,100
And I'm here to win.
365
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,533
For every Irish woman
who's sick and tired
366
00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:41,167
of the fish-stenched
mouth of sexism.
367
00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:45,233
SEAN: And so
our brave ladies of the night
368
00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:47,300
planned a subliminal campaign
for the ages.
369
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:48,900
No, they didn't
have money for posters
370
00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:51,200
and no,
they couldn't be bothered going door-to-door.
371
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:55,233
So they did what women do.
They used trickery to get what they wanted.
372
00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:58,633
Hello. Is this
the Shannonside FM request line?
373
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,200
RADIO DJ:
Smokey Robinson there.
374
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:04,433
And now again,
by popular request, here's Mary by The 4 of Us.
375
00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:06,167
* Oh Mary
376
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,467
* Why don't you
have some sense
377
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,933
* Please do something
378
00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:13,067
Vote for Mary.
379
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:14,067
Amen.
380
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:17,100
- Vote for Mary.
- What?
381
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:18,133
Vote for Mary.
382
00:17:19,233 --> 00:17:22,467
* Why don't you
have some sense
383
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,667
* Please do something
384
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:28,933
Nice.
385
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:31,667
* Oh Mary *
386
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,700
SEAN: Meanwhile,
with our latchkey kid...
387
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:37,667
Oh, hey, Babs. What's cookin'?
388
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:41,500
Oh. Is Trevor not joining us?
389
00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:44,500
Martin, uh...
390
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:48,567
Tonight is just, uh...
It's family night.
391
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,733
But it's Tuesday.
392
00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:53,300
Pavlova Tuesday.
393
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,700
Tuesday is family night now.
394
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:58,267
Actually, every night
is family night now.
395
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:02,200
But I brought my own jus.
396
00:18:02,233 --> 00:18:04,700
Martin, will you
please just let us be?
397
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,433
Well, girls, here's the poll.
Moment of truth.
398
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:15,467
Oh, God.
399
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,400
DEBRA: 60% for Brian,
10% for Mary.
400
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,133
(SIGHS)
401
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:24,567
30% for Mary as
the President's wife.
402
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,733
No change, then.
403
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:27,933
So much for campaigning
without posters.
404
00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:30,600
Maybe we should just be happy
with her as the President's wife.
405
00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:31,900
- Yeah.
- No!
406
00:18:31,933 --> 00:18:32,933
Well, what else can we do?
407
00:18:33,867 --> 00:18:34,867
(SIGHS)
408
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,267
SEAN: Good question, Noreen.
What else could you do?
409
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:42,767
With the electorate stuck in
the past and Liam holding firm on half-price,
410
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,767
Debra was forced to turn to
the fresh, fishy friend of feminism.
411
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,600
Hello, Francie, it's me.
412
00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:50,100
I thought I told you
to leave me alone, you...
413
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,133
No, no, no. Sorry, sorry.
It's Debra Moone.
414
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,400
FEELEY: Well, Debra,
it's about time.
415
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:59,533
You know,
this back-scratching offer is about to expire.
416
00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:01,933
So, we're still on
for the thousand pounds, then?
417
00:19:01,967 --> 00:19:04,533
So long as you're still on
for getting down and dirty,
418
00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:06,133
by which I mean
doing the cleaning.
419
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:07,300
(CHUCKLES)
420
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,367
(LAUGHING)
421
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,367
And remember,
wear something nice.
422
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:17,700
Why do you even have these?
423
00:19:18,967 --> 00:19:21,300
LINDA: Don't ask
any questions, Deb.
424
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,433
(SIGHS) I just can't believe
they still fit us.
425
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:27,367
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
426
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,633
Come in, girls!
The water's warm!
427
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:30,733
(DOOR OPENING)
428
00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:33,467
I'm looking
forward to this, girls.
429
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,533
I've been feeling
awful filthy today.
430
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,467
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Well, wouldn't you know it.
431
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,533
The suffragettes
finally bottled it.
432
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,100
Women.
433
00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:51,500
You know,
I think you'll do just grand.
434
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:54,467
Slip your shoes off.
435
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:57,800
And your socks.
436
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,133
I feel so ashamed.
Is this really necessary?
437
00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:07,433
Deb! If we are going to
demean ourselves for Mary,
438
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,767
then we're going
to do it properly, the way she'd want it done.
439
00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:12,000
Absolutely!
440
00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,767
Exploitation for the nation.
441
00:20:14,933 --> 00:20:16,300
What the...
442
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:17,333
LINDA: Marys.
443
00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:21,200
Non-velcro Marys.
444
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:31,000
SEAN: Thanks to Liam
and Mary men around the country,
445
00:20:31,033 --> 00:20:34,667
the new
presidential voice of Ireland would be a feminine one...
446
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,500
Citizens of Ireland...
447
00:20:36,533 --> 00:20:37,600
SEAN: Ish.
448
00:20:37,633 --> 00:20:40,567
You have chosen
me to represent you.
449
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,067
Scrub him good, Dad!
450
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,467
I can still smell fish.
451
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:45,200
May God direct me
452
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:49,233
so that my presidency
is one of justice, peace and love.
453
00:20:49,267 --> 00:20:50,633
Right in there!
454
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:54,100
May I have the fortune
to preside over an Ireland
455
00:20:54,133 --> 00:20:56,500
at a time of
exciting transformation...
456
00:20:56,533 --> 00:20:59,167
Now, come on, Liam,
you know what to do. Just do it.
457
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,667
Get in there, Butch.
458
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:03,400
Right in all
the nooks and crannies, where the fishy smell hides.
459
00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:06,300
MARY: Where hope
and history rhyme.
460
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:10,067
For I, the President,
can sing to you
461
00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:12,500
the joyous refrain...
462
00:21:14,767 --> 00:21:17,200
Oh, for the love of God!
463
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:21,267
"I am of Ireland.
Come dance with me in Ireland."
464
00:21:27,867 --> 00:21:29,567
I feel like a Ghostbuster.
465
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,967
* Oh Mary
466
00:21:43,067 --> 00:21:46,500
* Why don't you
have some sense
467
00:21:46,533 --> 00:21:50,100
* Please do something
468
00:21:50,133 --> 00:21:54,333
* To restore my confidence
469
00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:56,167
* Oh Mary
470
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,633
* Why don't you
have some sense
471
00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:01,433
* Please do something
472
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:04,700
* Oh Mary
Why don't you have some sense *
473
00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:09,300
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