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1
00:00:01,356 --> 00:00:03,091
[ Siren wails ]
Anchorwoman: They're calling it
one of today's news stories.
2
00:00:03,091 --> 00:00:06,427
Two fugitives -- Angela Tribeca
and Angela Geils Jr.
3
00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:10,665
are on the run after a plot
to steal the Louisiana Purchase
4
00:00:10,665 --> 00:00:13,034
was foiled by
Vice President Perry.
5
00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:16,304
Their last known location
was inside a convenience store.
6
00:00:16,304 --> 00:00:18,740
[ Chime plays ]
7
00:00:18,740 --> 00:00:21,409
Do you have anything
to clean off DNA?
8
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,578
No. Sorry.
[ Clang ]
9
00:00:23,578 --> 00:00:26,614
Can I get a six-pack
of Coors Light?
10
00:00:26,614 --> 00:00:28,383
[ Mumbling ]
11
00:00:28,383 --> 00:00:30,451
And a beef roll-up.
12
00:00:30,451 --> 00:00:32,020
Credit or debit?
13
00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:34,622
Do you take bills with
fluorescent dye all over 'em?
14
00:00:34,622 --> 00:00:36,724
Just nothing over $20.
15
00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,826
I'm gonna go
warm up the car.
16
00:00:38,826 --> 00:00:43,264
You in the convenience store,
they're right in front of you.
17
00:00:43,264 --> 00:00:45,300
[ Door bell dings ]
18
00:00:47,368 --> 00:00:49,370
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
19
00:00:49,370 --> 00:00:51,539
[ Paper rustles ]
20
00:00:51,539 --> 00:00:53,708
Don't even
think about it.
21
00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:57,645
♪♪
22
00:00:57,645 --> 00:00:59,213
Grab the beer.
23
00:00:59,847 --> 00:01:02,083
[ Knocking ]
24
00:01:04,285 --> 00:01:07,255
Nice car
you got here, lady.
25
00:01:07,255 --> 00:01:10,558
Trade you this crowbar
for it.
26
00:01:10,558 --> 00:01:13,127
[ Engine starts ]
27
00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:14,929
♪♪
28
00:01:14,929 --> 00:01:17,999
Sucker! [ Laughs ]
29
00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:20,835
[ Gunshot ]
30
00:01:20,835 --> 00:01:28,109
♪♪
31
00:01:28,109 --> 00:01:30,678
Ugh!
They didn't clean.
32
00:01:30,678 --> 00:01:34,615
♪♪
33
00:01:34,615 --> 00:01:36,351
[ Whining ]
34
00:01:36,351 --> 00:01:39,420
[ Muffled screaming ]
35
00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:41,456
Uh, yeah. We're gonna need
housekeeping in room 102.
36
00:01:41,456 --> 00:01:43,558
Man: Look out!
[ Distant screaming ]
37
00:01:43,558 --> 00:01:44,859
[ Gunshots ]
38
00:01:44,859 --> 00:01:46,060
No, it's fine.
39
00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:47,829
Everything's
been lovely so far.
40
00:01:47,829 --> 00:01:50,898
Yeah, thank you. Okay.
41
00:01:50,898 --> 00:01:53,968
[ Sighs ]
42
00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:57,005
What's going on, son?
43
00:01:57,005 --> 00:01:58,940
It's just hitting,
you know?
44
00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:02,977
The SDF, the "team."
It was all a shame.
45
00:02:02,977 --> 00:02:04,712
Scholls, Atkins.
46
00:02:04,712 --> 00:02:07,815
Jesus! Charo.
47
00:02:07,815 --> 00:02:09,917
The woman I went
to second base with.
48
00:02:09,917 --> 00:02:11,252
She was playing me
the whole time.
49
00:02:11,252 --> 00:02:14,389
[ Curtains rattle ]
Don't forget Hoffman.
50
00:02:14,389 --> 00:02:16,924
More people in my life
that abandoned me.
51
00:02:16,924 --> 00:02:19,027
Hey. That is not fair,
okay?
52
00:02:19,027 --> 00:02:21,996
I abandoned you
to make my life easier,
53
00:02:21,996 --> 00:02:24,098
not for some kind of
international land grab.
54
00:02:24,098 --> 00:02:26,000
How could I believe
in anybody anymore?
55
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,603
You can't. I learned
a long time ago
56
00:02:28,603 --> 00:02:31,672
that human beings
are rotten to the core.
57
00:02:31,672 --> 00:02:34,042
They only do things that
benefit them in the short term.
58
00:02:34,042 --> 00:02:36,577
I call that bed.
59
00:02:36,577 --> 00:02:39,147
I thought
they cared about us.
[ Water pours ]
60
00:02:39,147 --> 00:02:40,848
I thought they cared
what we're doing.
61
00:02:40,848 --> 00:02:42,417
I know.
62
00:02:44,118 --> 00:02:46,320
You were so stupid.
63
00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:50,958
But hey.
You got me, okay?
64
00:02:50,958 --> 00:02:54,429
And I'm never,
ever gonna abandon you...
65
00:02:54,429 --> 00:02:56,164
for a second time.
66
00:02:56,164 --> 00:02:58,032
And even though he hasn't
been featured in this season,
67
00:02:58,032 --> 00:03:01,035
your father cares
about you, too.
68
00:03:01,035 --> 00:03:04,238
That's why he sent this
for you in the mail.
69
00:03:04,238 --> 00:03:06,207
Dad's badge.
70
00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:11,179
I can't believe
he remembered my birthday.
71
00:03:11,179 --> 00:03:14,148
Yeah, how could
anyone forget that?
72
00:03:14,148 --> 00:03:19,821
That's why I got you
this very special, uhh,
73
00:03:19,821 --> 00:03:23,224
bible with a bullet hole
in it.
74
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:28,229
Whoa. Cool.
75
00:03:28,229 --> 00:03:30,631
You could spin it on
your finger and everything.
76
00:03:30,631 --> 00:03:34,802
Thanks, mom!
Now, what's this
about going to second base?
77
00:03:34,802 --> 00:03:39,774
♪♪
78
00:03:39,774 --> 00:03:42,043
[ Grunts ]
79
00:03:42,043 --> 00:03:44,812
[ Muffled screaming ]
80
00:03:44,812 --> 00:03:51,119
♪♪
81
00:03:51,119 --> 00:03:53,688
I want them found,
and I want them found now.
82
00:03:53,688 --> 00:03:55,590
Are those them!
83
00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:58,359
Oh, my God. Every time.
84
00:03:58,359 --> 00:04:00,361
So, who wants
to tell me how we let
85
00:04:00,361 --> 00:04:03,865
A.J. and Tribeca escape
after we flawlessly framed them
86
00:04:03,865 --> 00:04:07,368
for stealing the
Louisiana Purchase?
87
00:04:07,368 --> 00:04:11,072
Hmm?
88
00:04:11,072 --> 00:04:13,374
I'm gonna start
calling on people.
89
00:04:13,374 --> 00:04:16,978
Sweetheart, we've tracked their
location to a 25-mile radius.
90
00:04:16,978 --> 00:04:18,346
Their credit cards
have been frozen.
91
00:04:18,346 --> 00:04:19,814
Their passports
have been canceled,
92
00:04:19,814 --> 00:04:22,717
and their Uber ratings have
been downgraded to one star.
93
00:04:22,717 --> 00:04:26,420
I can't stay mad at you.
94
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:28,523
[ Kissing ]
95
00:04:30,525 --> 00:04:32,126
[ Laughs ]
96
00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:34,629
There's something going
on between you two.
97
00:04:34,629 --> 00:04:36,531
Listen, Joe, I take
full responsibility
98
00:04:36,531 --> 00:04:38,266
for the fact that
these guys screwed up,
99
00:04:38,266 --> 00:04:41,402
but we need to stay focused
on the task at hand.
100
00:04:41,402 --> 00:04:45,406
Returning the Louisiana Purchase
to the President of France.
101
00:04:45,406 --> 00:04:49,510
Thereby undoing the disastrous
transaction made in 1803.
102
00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:52,146
And forming a new country
in the central United States
103
00:04:52,146 --> 00:04:53,781
of which you will
be made President,
104
00:04:53,781 --> 00:04:55,016
and I will be First Lady.
105
00:04:55,016 --> 00:04:57,718
Yes. Yes.
106
00:04:57,718 --> 00:05:00,488
♪♪
107
00:05:00,488 --> 00:05:02,190
Now then,
the President of France
108
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:05,393
is awaiting my arrival
at Gerard Depardieu Airport.
109
00:05:05,393 --> 00:05:07,028
While I'm aboard
Air Force Two,
110
00:05:07,028 --> 00:05:08,796
I want you to track down
A.J. and Tribeca.
111
00:05:08,796 --> 00:05:10,498
They're the only thing
that stands between me
112
00:05:10,498 --> 00:05:12,166
and becoming the president of
what I'm gonna call
113
00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:15,169
Lil' France with a hop-hop
apostrophe after Lil'
114
00:05:15,169 --> 00:05:17,371
to play
to the younger citizens.
115
00:05:17,371 --> 00:05:19,774
You said you were going
to name it Scholls.
116
00:05:19,774 --> 00:05:21,509
It didn't test well.
117
00:05:22,443 --> 00:05:25,146
Good call on whoever
ordered the deli platter.
118
00:05:26,781 --> 00:05:29,050
I am famished.
119
00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:31,619
[ Chomp ]
Ohh.
120
00:05:31,619 --> 00:05:33,521
What are we gonna do?
121
00:05:33,521 --> 00:05:36,157
Once that document gets
to France, it's game over.
122
00:05:36,157 --> 00:05:38,626
They'll have the deed
to the entire Midwest.
123
00:05:40,761 --> 00:05:43,965
Okay, so we figure out a way
to sneak aboard Air Force Two.
124
00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:45,433
We secure the Purchase.
125
00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:47,668
Hold Perry hostage.
Notify the president.
126
00:05:47,668 --> 00:05:49,503
And then land safely
at Andrews Air Force Base.
127
00:05:49,503 --> 00:05:52,306
Air Force Two is the second-most
secure plane in the world.
128
00:05:52,306 --> 00:05:55,676
I realize that.
And we're wanted fugitives.
129
00:05:55,676 --> 00:05:58,145
Our faces are plastered
all over town.
130
00:05:59,947 --> 00:06:01,716
But his isn't.
131
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:04,619
But our faces are.
132
00:06:04,619 --> 00:06:06,320
And we're the ones that need
to get on the plane.
133
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,090
But if one of us had his face,
we would sail right through.
134
00:06:09,090 --> 00:06:10,625
But one of us doesn't.
135
00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:12,226
So, we still have
the same problem.
136
00:06:12,226 --> 00:06:15,630
But what if
one of us did?
137
00:06:15,630 --> 00:06:17,231
[ Sighs ]
Ugh.
138
00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:19,000
She's saying that
if you cut off my face
139
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,638
and put it on one of your faces,
you can pass through security.
140
00:06:23,638 --> 00:06:27,141
Oh, so you mean
we take his...
141
00:06:27,141 --> 00:06:30,678
face off?
142
00:06:30,678 --> 00:06:33,214
I will become him.
143
00:06:36,784 --> 00:06:38,286
[ People groan ]
144
00:06:38,286 --> 00:06:40,254
Sorry, folks.
Looks like Air Force Two
145
00:06:40,254 --> 00:06:43,724
is stuck here
another 45 minutes.
146
00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:46,027
[ Indistinct conversations ]
147
00:06:46,027 --> 00:06:48,396
Cardin!
148
00:06:48,396 --> 00:06:50,531
How the hell did you get
away from those animals?
149
00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:52,533
[ With American accent ]
It sure as hell wasn't easy.
150
00:06:52,533 --> 00:06:54,902
Tribeca put up
quite a fight.
151
00:06:54,902 --> 00:06:57,271
Man, she's amazing.
152
00:06:57,271 --> 00:06:59,607
What happened to
your French accent?
153
00:06:59,607 --> 00:07:01,042
Oh, right.
154
00:07:01,042 --> 00:07:03,978
You know that thing where you
start to bond with your captors?
155
00:07:03,978 --> 00:07:05,546
I must have taken
on their accent.
156
00:07:05,546 --> 00:07:07,615
[ With French accent ]
Oh, there it is!
157
00:07:07,615 --> 00:07:09,283
Ahh, liberation!
158
00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:13,187
Ah, it's very sweet
and --
159
00:07:13,187 --> 00:07:16,490
Anyway.
Pierre. You're here.
160
00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:17,491
How on earth?
161
00:07:17,491 --> 00:07:20,828
Actually,
it was easiest on earth.
162
00:07:20,828 --> 00:07:24,065
Tribeca and A.J. were no match
for Pierre Cardin.
163
00:07:24,065 --> 00:07:25,599
Although Tribeca
does somehow manage
164
00:07:25,599 --> 00:07:28,469
to be both tough and elegant
at the same time.
165
00:07:28,469 --> 00:07:31,939
Really? That's not how
I would describe her.
166
00:07:32,773 --> 00:07:34,342
[ Radio crackles ]
Gate agent: Okay, folks.
167
00:07:34,342 --> 00:07:36,043
Looks like we've got
things sorted out here
168
00:07:36,043 --> 00:07:37,645
and are ready to
board Air Force Two.
169
00:07:37,645 --> 00:07:39,447
We are calling families
and small children
170
00:07:39,447 --> 00:07:43,651
and anybody who needs additional
time to get on the aircraft.
171
00:07:43,651 --> 00:07:45,386
Let's go.
172
00:07:47,688 --> 00:07:49,090
[ Blows ]
173
00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:50,691
-Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
-It's a red light.
174
00:07:50,691 --> 00:07:53,160
Oh, no, no, no.
175
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,496
And then we went
to Jefferson Memorial.
176
00:07:55,496 --> 00:08:00,735
Ugh. Hands down, filthiest
bathrooms I've ever seen.
177
00:08:00,735 --> 00:08:04,105
I could barely flush.
Zero toilet paper.
178
00:08:04,105 --> 00:08:06,340
Urine all over the sink.
179
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:09,610
Could you maybe
find another seat?
180
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:10,978
Oh, sorry.
181
00:08:10,978 --> 00:08:12,179
Secret Service
has to stay near
182
00:08:12,179 --> 00:08:15,750
the vice president
at all times.
183
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:19,253
Season Two of "The Detour."
Nice.
184
00:08:19,253 --> 00:08:21,789
[ Horn honks ]
[ Bong! ]
185
00:08:21,789 --> 00:08:24,458
Pilot:
That chime means we've reached
our cruising altitude,
186
00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:26,694
and you are free
to silently fart in your seat.
187
00:08:26,694 --> 00:08:28,162
Oh, good.
188
00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:31,365
Uh, pardon me,
I'm going to see
189
00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:36,037
if they have
gluten-free blankets.
190
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:38,205
Attendant:
What can I get for you,
Mr. Vice President?
191
00:08:38,205 --> 00:08:40,040
I'll just have a cup
of coffee, please.
192
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,509
We have Coors Light.
193
00:08:41,509 --> 00:08:44,678
Coors Light, as in born
in the Rockies, Coors Light?
194
00:08:44,678 --> 00:08:47,348
Yes.
Well,
why didn't you say so?
195
00:08:47,348 --> 00:08:49,417
I'll have one now
and another one in an hour
196
00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:52,386
when my body has safely
metabolized the first one.
197
00:08:52,386 --> 00:08:56,023
And that's it.
Good thinking, sir.
198
00:08:56,023 --> 00:08:58,759
[ Fan blowing,
can opens ]
199
00:08:58,759 --> 00:09:07,835
♪♪
200
00:09:07,835 --> 00:09:13,774
♪♪
201
00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:15,776
[ Grunts ]
202
00:09:15,776 --> 00:09:18,112
I hope it wasn't too
cramped in there for you.
203
00:09:18,112 --> 00:09:25,686
♪♪
204
00:09:25,686 --> 00:09:26,821
[ Grunts ]
205
00:09:26,821 --> 00:09:29,023
[ Crash! ]
206
00:09:29,023 --> 00:09:30,925
Thanks, mom.
How we doing?
207
00:09:30,925 --> 00:09:34,228
Armed and dangerous, son.
Armed and dangerous.
208
00:09:34,228 --> 00:09:35,830
[ Guns cock ]
209
00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:45,973
♪♪
210
00:09:45,973 --> 00:09:48,442
Let's move.
Okay. You work your way up
from the back.
211
00:09:48,442 --> 00:09:50,411
I'm gonna follow
this compartment
all the way to the front.
212
00:09:50,411 --> 00:09:52,880
Copy that.
And hey.
213
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,782
Be careful.
214
00:09:56,383 --> 00:09:59,286
I don't want anything
happening to my baby boy.
215
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:03,224
[ Kiss ]
216
00:10:03,224 --> 00:10:07,294
♪♪
217
00:10:07,294 --> 00:10:09,063
[ Sobs ]
218
00:10:09,063 --> 00:10:12,500
♪♪
219
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,668
Hyah!
220
00:10:14,668 --> 00:10:16,604
[ Grunts ]
221
00:10:16,604 --> 00:10:20,107
♪♪
222
00:10:20,107 --> 00:10:22,276
[ Sniffs ]
223
00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:24,178
Hyah!
224
00:10:24,178 --> 00:10:29,250
♪♪
225
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,552
Whoo.
226
00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:34,889
Hyah!
227
00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:39,026
[ Curtains rattle ]
228
00:10:39,026 --> 00:10:43,631
♪♪
229
00:10:43,631 --> 00:10:45,266
Ha!
230
00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:55,142
♪♪
231
00:10:55,142 --> 00:10:57,144
Hyah!
232
00:10:57,144 --> 00:11:02,349
♪♪
233
00:11:02,349 --> 00:11:04,018
Whoo.
234
00:11:04,018 --> 00:11:07,788
Oh, wait. Shit.
235
00:11:07,788 --> 00:11:09,823
Ugh.
236
00:11:09,823 --> 00:11:11,525
Nope.
237
00:11:11,525 --> 00:11:13,093
Ugh.
[ Slapping ]
238
00:11:13,093 --> 00:11:14,495
What, what?! What's happening?
What's going on?
239
00:11:14,495 --> 00:11:17,064
Shut up.
You're coming with me.
240
00:11:17,064 --> 00:11:20,301
Not if the Secret Service
has anything to do with it.
241
00:11:20,301 --> 00:11:22,570
[ Snorts ]
242
00:11:25,906 --> 00:11:27,975
Move it.
243
00:11:29,677 --> 00:11:33,380
You sure this is
the right place?
244
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:34,782
No doubt about it.
245
00:11:34,782 --> 00:11:36,817
Sir?
246
00:11:36,817 --> 00:11:38,018
I found Cardin.
247
00:11:38,018 --> 00:11:41,755
[ Moans ]
248
00:11:41,755 --> 00:11:42,690
Oh, my God.
249
00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:47,861
Well, well, well.
250
00:11:47,861 --> 00:11:50,431
If it isn't
Vice President Joe Perry.
251
00:11:50,431 --> 00:11:51,799
You're not Cardin,
are you?
252
00:11:51,799 --> 00:11:53,667
Why don't you
figure out who I am?
253
00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:55,703
I'll give you 20 years.
254
00:11:55,703 --> 00:11:56,604
Tribeca.
255
00:11:56,604 --> 00:11:58,372
In the flesh...
256
00:11:58,372 --> 00:11:59,673
of another person.
257
00:11:59,673 --> 00:12:01,408
You'll never
get away with it.
258
00:12:01,408 --> 00:12:02,776
These pilots
are flying to Paris,
259
00:12:02,776 --> 00:12:04,245
no matter what orders
they're given.
260
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,546
I don't know.
261
00:12:05,546 --> 00:12:07,281
I think the pilots might
be swayed by your head
262
00:12:07,281 --> 00:12:08,849
rolling into the cockpit.
Well, of course.
263
00:12:08,849 --> 00:12:11,085
Anyone's gonna
be curious about that.
264
00:12:11,085 --> 00:12:12,286
Care to wager?
265
00:12:12,286 --> 00:12:14,088
Loser gets 20 years
in prison.
266
00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:17,925
All right! I sent you to
prison for 20 years once!
267
00:12:17,925 --> 00:12:20,327
Jesus!
Turn this plane around!
268
00:12:20,327 --> 00:12:22,830
We're calling the president,
and we're landing in Washington.
269
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,231
Hope you like
being executed.
270
00:12:24,231 --> 00:12:26,066
I'm afraid we'll never
find out how he feels
271
00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:28,035
about being executed.
[ Gun cocks ]
272
00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:30,371
Drop the guns.
Now.
273
00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:32,539
Sure thing.
274
00:12:32,539 --> 00:12:33,907
[ Gunshot ]
275
00:12:33,907 --> 00:12:35,809
Ugh!
276
00:12:38,278 --> 00:12:40,714
Anyone see that coming?
277
00:12:40,714 --> 00:12:43,083
Mom,
you shot Dr. Scholls!
278
00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:46,220
Scholls died the second
she switched sides.
279
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:48,689
Monica, I'm sorry.
280
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:52,926
Thank you for raising me those
three weeks when I was a baby.
281
00:12:53,961 --> 00:12:59,867
I loved kissing
your big...chubby...teeth.
282
00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:03,904
♪♪
283
00:13:03,904 --> 00:13:07,441
Why don't I just go talk to the
pilots about changing course?
284
00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:10,911
[ Beeping ]
285
00:13:10,911 --> 00:13:14,615
Sir? Air Force Two
is changing course.
286
00:13:14,615 --> 00:13:17,251
Something's wrong.
287
00:13:17,251 --> 00:13:19,987
I thought you said we had
some down time before it landed.
288
00:13:21,488 --> 00:13:23,257
Come in, Air Force Two.
Come in, Air Force Two.
289
00:13:23,257 --> 00:13:24,558
[ Radio crackles ]
290
00:13:24,558 --> 00:13:26,193
This is Perry.
291
00:13:26,193 --> 00:13:29,363
Joe.
It looks like...
292
00:13:29,363 --> 00:13:30,764
your plane
is changing course.
293
00:13:30,764 --> 00:13:32,399
Everything okay?
294
00:13:32,399 --> 00:13:34,668
Everything is okay.
295
00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:38,939
Are you sure everything's okay?
It doesn't sound like it.
296
00:13:38,939 --> 00:13:42,309
No, everything is
definitely okay.
297
00:13:42,309 --> 00:13:47,347
If you're in trouble, signify
by using the duress code.
298
00:13:47,347 --> 00:13:49,216
I am not under duress.
299
00:13:49,216 --> 00:13:50,417
Duress code received.
300
00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:52,453
Initiating
emergency response.
301
00:13:52,453 --> 00:13:53,787
[ Beeping ]
302
00:13:53,787 --> 00:13:57,391
Cancel emergency response.
I am not under duress.
303
00:13:57,391 --> 00:13:59,226
Copy on duress
authentication code.
304
00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:00,494
Moving ahead
with response.
305
00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:03,931
I am really, really,
really not under duress.
306
00:14:03,931 --> 00:14:07,167
That's three "reallys."
Duress level three.
307
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:09,436
Call the president.
308
00:14:09,436 --> 00:14:11,672
Atkins, listen to me
very closely.
309
00:14:11,672 --> 00:14:14,208
I am not sending you
the authentication code.
310
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:17,611
Or any other codes.
Throw 'em all out the window.
311
00:14:17,611 --> 00:14:19,146
Got it? All of 'em.
312
00:14:19,146 --> 00:14:22,082
Now, I'm the vice president,
and everyone onboard
313
00:14:22,082 --> 00:14:24,985
is acting of their own volition
and are totally safe.
314
00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:28,455
So, stand down and
don't contact me again.
315
00:14:28,455 --> 00:14:30,657
Roger that.
316
00:14:32,693 --> 00:14:34,328
They've got Perry dead
to rights in the cockpit,
317
00:14:34,328 --> 00:14:36,430
and they're turning around
heading back to Washington
318
00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:38,799
to return
the Louisiana Purchase.
319
00:14:38,799 --> 00:14:42,069
He gave me the exact
code word-for-word.
320
00:14:46,707 --> 00:14:48,909
We have to shoot
the plane out of the sky.
321
00:14:48,909 --> 00:14:50,244
Sir, we can't.
I know. I know.
322
00:14:50,244 --> 00:14:52,546
It was just fun to think
about for a second.
323
00:14:52,546 --> 00:14:55,582
Get Scholls on the horn.
And I mean now!
324
00:14:58,585 --> 00:15:01,388
[ Horn blowing ]
325
00:15:01,388 --> 00:15:04,992
♪♪
326
00:15:08,896 --> 00:15:11,832
I'm thinking
of growing a beard.
327
00:15:11,832 --> 00:15:14,635
Isn't there like
a super-itchy phase?
328
00:15:14,635 --> 00:15:15,869
[ Door opens ]
329
00:15:15,869 --> 00:15:18,605
Drop your gun
and let go of the plane.
330
00:15:18,605 --> 00:15:20,040
[ Gun clatters ]
331
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,408
Did you really
think you could --
332
00:15:21,408 --> 00:15:23,310
[ Gunshot ]
333
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:26,380
Some people just can't
handle the cabin pressure.
334
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:27,714
Thanks, mom!
335
00:15:27,714 --> 00:15:30,984
[ Gunshot ]
[ Grunts ]
336
00:15:30,984 --> 00:15:34,188
Always remember to put
your mask on first.
337
00:15:34,188 --> 00:15:36,223
Susan. Thank God.
338
00:15:37,191 --> 00:15:38,692
[ Gunshot ]
Ugh!
339
00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:41,528
Nobody kills my mom
and gets away with it.
340
00:15:42,930 --> 00:15:45,632
It's okay, A.J.
She just winged me.
341
00:15:45,632 --> 00:15:48,035
Oh. Sorry, Susan.
342
00:15:48,035 --> 00:15:49,970
Alarm voice: Altitude, altitude!
343
00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:52,072
Ground approaching
faster than I'd like.
344
00:15:52,072 --> 00:15:54,474
For God Sakes!
The plane's going down!
345
00:15:54,474 --> 00:15:57,044
Get the real pilots
back in here!
346
00:15:57,044 --> 00:15:58,045
Hang on a second!
347
00:15:58,045 --> 00:16:00,581
[ Gunshots ]
Ugh!
Ugh!
348
00:16:00,581 --> 00:16:03,050
What are you saying?
Are you insane?!
349
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,552
I surrender.
You can have the purchase back.
350
00:16:05,552 --> 00:16:08,755
The deal is off!
Just save my life!
351
00:16:08,755 --> 00:16:10,524
Think you can land
this thing?
352
00:16:10,524 --> 00:16:13,493
♪♪
353
00:16:13,493 --> 00:16:16,230
You bet your ass I can.
354
00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:19,233
[ Clanging ]
355
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:22,035
[ Police radio chatter ]
356
00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:28,642
Sorry.
357
00:16:28,642 --> 00:16:30,143
You tried your best.
358
00:16:30,143 --> 00:16:31,912
Thanks.
359
00:16:31,912 --> 00:16:34,114
Man, this thing was hot.
360
00:16:34,114 --> 00:16:35,249
Thank you.
361
00:16:35,249 --> 00:16:36,583
[ Grunts ]
362
00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:38,719
Where's Perry?
363
00:16:38,719 --> 00:16:41,955
[ Clank ]
364
00:16:41,955 --> 00:16:45,425
Freeze, or I'll drop you
like a sick beat.
365
00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:47,394
[ Siren wails ]
366
00:16:47,394 --> 00:16:49,563
[ "Hail to the Chief" playing ]
367
00:16:49,563 --> 00:16:52,432
[ Tires squealing ]
368
00:16:52,432 --> 00:16:55,736
♪♪
369
00:16:55,736 --> 00:16:58,372
Madame President.
370
00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:02,643
Thank God.
I caught the terrorists.
371
00:17:02,643 --> 00:17:03,977
They tried
to hijack my plane,
372
00:17:03,977 --> 00:17:05,512
but I fought them off.
373
00:17:05,512 --> 00:17:09,683
Oh, stick it up your ass, Joe.
Everybody knows you're dirty.
374
00:17:09,683 --> 00:17:11,852
Someone arrest
this traitor.
375
00:17:11,852 --> 00:17:13,654
With pleasure.
376
00:17:13,654 --> 00:17:16,089
[ Cuffs jingle ]
377
00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:18,492
Oh! Okay.
What are you doing?
378
00:17:18,492 --> 00:17:20,427
Nobody move,
or the kid gets it.
379
00:17:20,427 --> 00:17:21,895
You don't have the guts.
380
00:17:21,895 --> 00:17:24,865
Actually, Tribeca, it's you
that doesn't have the guts.
381
00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:26,400
I've known it
from the beginning.
382
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,202
Why do you think I sent you
to prison for 20 years?
383
00:17:29,202 --> 00:17:31,138
I kept you on ice
until your son was old enough
384
00:17:31,138 --> 00:17:33,774
to join the Special
Division Force.
385
00:17:33,774 --> 00:17:36,543
You see,
he's my insurance policy.
386
00:17:36,543 --> 00:17:37,878
I'm warning you, Joe.
387
00:17:37,878 --> 00:17:39,947
You do this, and you
can forget about
388
00:17:39,947 --> 00:17:42,516
breaking the next tie
in the Senate.
389
00:17:42,516 --> 00:17:44,818
I'm afraid you don't know me
as well as you think you do,
390
00:17:44,818 --> 00:17:46,687
Mr. Vice President.
Joe's fine.
391
00:17:46,687 --> 00:17:50,257
See, I taught my kids that
humans are rotten to the core,
392
00:17:50,257 --> 00:17:53,060
and they only do what benefits
them in the short term.
393
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:54,995
You think
I'm any different?
394
00:17:54,995 --> 00:17:57,030
Even you wouldn't shoot
your own son, Tribeca.
395
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,932
[ Gunshot ]
Ugh!
396
00:17:58,932 --> 00:18:00,634
Mom, what have you done?
397
00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:01,935
[ Groaning ]
398
00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:06,106
Like I said, A.J.
Don't trust anyone.
399
00:18:06,106 --> 00:18:10,043
That is,
anyone except me.
400
00:18:10,043 --> 00:18:12,646
'Cause you're
my baby boy.
401
00:18:12,646 --> 00:18:16,083
♪♪
402
00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:19,720
Wow.
You aimed for dad's badge.
403
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,521
Uh-huh.
404
00:18:21,521 --> 00:18:22,689
I love you, mom.
405
00:18:22,689 --> 00:18:24,858
I like you, too, kid.
406
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,895
[ Tires squeal ]
407
00:18:30,497 --> 00:18:31,965
Everybody freeze, damn it!
408
00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:35,969
If anybody moves a muscle,
I swear I will --
409
00:18:35,969 --> 00:18:37,304
I told you were
were gonna be late.
410
00:18:37,304 --> 00:18:39,973
And I told you
the drive-thru takes longer.
411
00:18:39,973 --> 00:18:43,310
Atkins, once again,
you served this country
412
00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,178
with great distinction.
413
00:18:45,178 --> 00:18:47,914
And Joe, I knew
from the moment
414
00:18:47,914 --> 00:18:51,918
I chose you as my running mate
that you were corrupt.
415
00:18:51,918 --> 00:18:54,287
I assigned Atkins
here to tail you
416
00:18:54,287 --> 00:18:57,424
until you slipped up.
417
00:18:57,424 --> 00:18:59,526
You were on our side
the whole time?
418
00:18:59,526 --> 00:19:01,661
That's right, Tribeca.
419
00:19:01,661 --> 00:19:05,232
I'll always be
Lieutenant Atkins.
420
00:19:05,232 --> 00:19:06,400
Atkins?
421
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:10,003
I hereby appoint you
Secretary of Defense.
422
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:14,841
And Tribeca, how does
vice president sound to you?
423
00:19:14,841 --> 00:19:18,211
With all due respect,
Madame President,
424
00:19:18,211 --> 00:19:20,814
I've been doing a lot of
thinking in the past 11 seconds,
425
00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:22,949
and I think
it might be time
426
00:19:22,949 --> 00:19:25,619
for me to ride off
into the sunset.
427
00:19:25,619 --> 00:19:26,920
The world
is too different now,
428
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:31,758
and I just can't
find my place in it.
429
00:19:31,758 --> 00:19:33,326
I'll be vice president!
430
00:19:33,326 --> 00:19:35,295
You got it.
431
00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:40,967
Wait! [ Grunts ]
432
00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:42,736
Wait!
She's got a bomb!
433
00:19:42,736 --> 00:19:43,970
[ Guns cock ]
434
00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:45,772
Wait! No, she doesn't.
She doesn't.
435
00:19:45,772 --> 00:19:47,674
It's -- It's a backpack.
Stand down.
436
00:19:47,674 --> 00:19:49,543
Oh.
437
00:19:49,543 --> 00:19:52,145
[ Grunts ] Did you tell
them about the --
Yes.
438
00:19:52,145 --> 00:19:54,681
Does she know about the --
Yes,
we've covered everything.
439
00:19:54,681 --> 00:19:56,249
Oh.
440
00:19:56,249 --> 00:20:00,253
Except what Tribeca's
gonna do next.
441
00:20:00,253 --> 00:20:01,588
[ Sighs ]
442
00:20:01,588 --> 00:20:03,857
I just wanna be as far away
443
00:20:03,857 --> 00:20:08,195
from rules and structure
as I possibly can.
444
00:20:08,195 --> 00:20:10,797
♪♪
445
00:20:10,797 --> 00:20:12,866
[ Laughing ]
446
00:20:12,866 --> 00:20:16,636
[ Indistinct conversations ]
447
00:20:16,636 --> 00:20:20,340
My name is Tribeca,
and this is U.S. History.
448
00:20:20,340 --> 00:20:23,009
Tribeca!
Get the hell in here!
449
00:20:23,009 --> 00:20:25,712
[ Sighs ]
Coming, Principal Atkins.
450
00:20:25,712 --> 00:20:28,982
[ Laughter ]
451
00:20:31,051 --> 00:20:42,762
♪♪
452
00:20:42,762 --> 00:20:55,375
♪♪
31366
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