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1
00:00:01,756 --> 00:00:04,125
Buy 50,000 shares
of soy bean futures
2
00:00:04,125 --> 00:00:06,728
and a put option
on the S&P Index
3
00:00:06,728 --> 00:00:08,096
that expires at midnight.
4
00:00:08,096 --> 00:00:10,531
Then dump all the
inflation-protected
5
00:00:10,531 --> 00:00:14,068
treasury bonds
and 15-year CDs.
6
00:00:14,068 --> 00:00:16,704
And then I want you
to move all that cash
7
00:00:16,704 --> 00:00:18,239
into Nikkei Futures.
8
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,475
Liquidate the oil,
put a freeze on gas.
[ Grunts ]
9
00:00:20,475 --> 00:00:23,411
Transfer half my derivatives
into the high-grade portfolio!
10
00:00:23,411 --> 00:00:26,047
Transfer the other half
into the low-grade portfolio!
11
00:00:26,047 --> 00:00:27,649
Then merge those portfolios!
12
00:00:27,649 --> 00:00:31,152
And we're completely clear
of Kappa Kappa Capital, right?
13
00:00:31,152 --> 00:00:32,153
Great.
14
00:00:32,153 --> 00:00:35,857
Man, it is good to be alive.
15
00:00:35,857 --> 00:00:38,860
Oh, and don't forget shares
of Fremulon Insurance.
[ Whirring ]
16
00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:40,328
That stock is on --
17
00:00:40,328 --> 00:00:42,463
[ Screams ] On fire!
18
00:00:42,463 --> 00:00:43,431
[ Screams ]
19
00:00:43,431 --> 00:00:45,166
[ Gunshot ]
20
00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:47,602
♪♪
21
00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:51,406
This is all that remains
of Philip Grammbbowski.
22
00:00:51,406 --> 00:00:55,209
He was a rising star on Wall S--
A.J.: Sorry!
23
00:00:55,209 --> 00:00:56,644
Ugh!
24
00:00:56,644 --> 00:00:59,380
Unbelievable
traffic!
25
00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:03,685
[ Door closes ]
26
00:01:03,685 --> 00:01:05,753
[ Yawns]
27
00:01:05,753 --> 00:01:07,355
[ Cellphone clicking ]
28
00:01:07,355 --> 00:01:10,458
Yaas!
29
00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:11,759
[ Cellphone chimes ]
30
00:01:11,759 --> 00:01:23,705
♪♪
31
00:01:23,705 --> 00:01:35,450
♪♪
32
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:37,118
Grammbbowski ran
a private wealth fund
33
00:01:37,118 --> 00:01:39,253
worth $4.4 billion
under management.
34
00:01:39,253 --> 00:01:40,955
Whoa.
That's a lot of bread.
35
00:01:40,955 --> 00:01:42,190
Food shame much?
36
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:43,992
He was a rising star
on Wall Street
37
00:01:43,992 --> 00:01:46,661
until he was ostracized
for his bizarre ideas.
38
00:01:46,661 --> 00:01:49,664
Wait just one
goddamn minute.
39
00:01:49,664 --> 00:01:51,232
We got a first name
on this guy?
40
00:01:51,232 --> 00:01:52,233
Philip.
41
00:01:54,235 --> 00:01:55,269
Makes sense.
42
00:01:55,269 --> 00:01:56,738
He had everything going
for him --
43
00:01:56,738 --> 00:01:58,906
white, male, rich.
44
00:01:58,906 --> 00:02:00,908
An unbeatable combination
until yesterday,
45
00:02:00,908 --> 00:02:02,443
when somebody
tanned him to death.
46
00:02:02,443 --> 00:02:04,746
[ Chuckles ] Serves him right,
the greedy bastard.
47
00:02:04,746 --> 00:02:07,982
Who the hell needs
a billion dollars?
Large countries.
48
00:02:07,982 --> 00:02:09,484
Well-connected
political families.
49
00:02:09,484 --> 00:02:10,685
Billionaires.
50
00:02:10,685 --> 00:02:12,353
Because of the very large
nature of his wealth,
51
00:02:12,353 --> 00:02:14,022
the Special Division Force
is going to figure out
52
00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:16,724
who killed him and why.
53
00:02:16,724 --> 00:02:19,360
Get me some answers,
people.
54
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:28,936
♪♪
55
00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:38,913
♪♪
56
00:02:41,949 --> 00:02:44,218
Don't bother.
It's password-protected.
57
00:02:44,218 --> 00:02:45,820
Well, it's a good thing
I'm here.
58
00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:47,088
Is it?
59
00:02:47,088 --> 00:02:48,356
What's your problem
with me?
60
00:02:48,356 --> 00:02:50,758
You're overconfident,
hubristic,
61
00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:52,760
aloof, dismissive.
62
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,529
So you can say
something nice.
63
00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:58,166
Now, passwords are an expression
of subconscious thoughts.
64
00:02:58,166 --> 00:03:00,835
You can hide behind it,
but I'll find you.
65
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:04,072
Talk to me, Philip.
Who are you?
66
00:03:04,072 --> 00:03:06,507
Chicago Cubs pennant.
67
00:03:06,507 --> 00:03:07,742
Ficus plant.
68
00:03:07,742 --> 00:03:10,511
Bowl of M&Ms.
69
00:03:10,511 --> 00:03:12,280
Rothko print.
70
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,248
What's the cat's name?
Mr. Jingles.
71
00:03:14,248 --> 00:03:16,184
Oh, my God!
It's so obvious.
72
00:03:16,184 --> 00:03:17,718
And it's written on
a Post-It note
73
00:03:17,718 --> 00:03:18,953
pasted on his screen.
74
00:03:18,953 --> 00:03:21,456
1-2-3-4-6.
[ Keyboard clacking ]
75
00:03:21,456 --> 00:03:23,691
That's easy to remember.
[ Computer beeps ]
76
00:03:23,691 --> 00:03:25,126
I'm in.
77
00:03:25,126 --> 00:03:27,595
Why don't we try that folder
that says "My Documents"?
78
00:03:27,595 --> 00:03:30,965
It's a Hail Mary,
but let's do it.
79
00:03:30,965 --> 00:03:32,700
This is a list
of Grammbbowski's clients
80
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:35,136
and what trades he's made
on their behalf.
81
00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:37,205
He moved $1.4 billion
82
00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:39,107
out of something called
Kappa Kappa Capital
83
00:03:39,107 --> 00:03:41,375
the day before he was killed,
but why?
84
00:03:41,375 --> 00:03:43,444
It was one of
his best performers.
85
00:03:43,444 --> 00:03:46,614
And what's this note by
the trade that says "saltine"?
86
00:03:46,614 --> 00:03:49,217
What is that?
87
00:03:49,217 --> 00:03:51,819
Beats me.
Could mean anything.
88
00:03:51,819 --> 00:03:56,824
♪♪
89
00:03:56,824 --> 00:03:59,460
Atkins: Her name
is Norrah Newt.
90
00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:02,630
Sorry, Murphy.
Above your pay grade.
91
00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:05,800
Ms. Newt is --
or should I say is --
92
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,103
a notorious vulture capitalist
and corporate raider.
93
00:04:09,103 --> 00:04:11,305
Her firm,
Kappa Kappa Capital,
94
00:04:11,305 --> 00:04:13,374
is famous
for buying up companies,
95
00:04:13,374 --> 00:04:15,576
selling them for their parts,
then buying those parts
96
00:04:15,576 --> 00:04:18,446
and putting them back together
to form the original company.
97
00:04:18,446 --> 00:04:20,314
Sounds like a real
stand-up gal.
98
00:04:20,314 --> 00:04:22,283
Not since she left comedy
15 years ago
99
00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:23,718
and started day-trading.
100
00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:26,587
Now her company is worth
57 billion and one dollars.
101
00:04:26,587 --> 00:04:28,389
That's some
serious cheese.
102
00:04:28,389 --> 00:04:31,192
It's part of my cleanse.
We found out Grammbbowski
103
00:04:31,192 --> 00:04:33,728
recently pulled
nearly $1.5 billion
104
00:04:33,728 --> 00:04:36,130
of his clients' money
out of Kappa Kappa Capital.
105
00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:39,400
So Newt gets her revenge by
frying Grammbbowski to a crisp.
106
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,003
It's possible,
but we don't have any proof.
107
00:04:42,003 --> 00:04:43,671
That's why we're going
undercover
108
00:04:43,671 --> 00:04:45,840
in the complex, aggressive world
of high finance.
109
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,041
A.J.: With all due
respect, sir,
110
00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:48,543
I'm gonna have to sit
this one out.
111
00:04:48,543 --> 00:04:50,344
These Wall Street scumbags
have created an economy
112
00:04:50,344 --> 00:04:51,612
that only works
for the rich.
113
00:04:51,612 --> 00:04:54,015
We can sing their praises
all day long,
114
00:04:54,015 --> 00:04:55,883
but we still have
a job to do.
115
00:04:55,883 --> 00:04:59,520
Our next stop is the financial
capital of the world --
116
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,055
Des Moines, Iowa.
117
00:05:01,055 --> 00:05:02,490
Now, the world of finance has
118
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,725
changed a lot
in the last 30 years.
119
00:05:04,725 --> 00:05:08,996
It's absolutely nothing like
'80s movies about Wall Street.
120
00:05:08,996 --> 00:05:10,731
[ Elevator bell dings ]
121
00:05:10,731 --> 00:05:17,104
♪♪
122
00:05:17,104 --> 00:05:18,806
Hey, Tribeca.
How's it going?
123
00:05:18,806 --> 00:05:20,875
Can't wait for tomorrow 'cause
I get better looking every day.
124
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:22,376
Love the hair,
by the way.
125
00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:24,412
Flattery will get you
everywhere.
Counting on it.
126
00:05:24,412 --> 00:05:26,280
Hey, Scholls, how was
your date last night?
127
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,115
Are you kidding?
I took her to Mostaccioli's.
128
00:05:28,115 --> 00:05:30,117
It was a sure thing.
How'd you get a rez there?
129
00:05:30,117 --> 00:05:33,120
Banged the manager.
[ Chuckles ]
130
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,389
♪♪
131
00:05:35,389 --> 00:05:38,326
Hey, Hoffman, loving the tie.
Bill Blass?
132
00:05:38,326 --> 00:05:39,627
What's happening, Charo?
133
00:05:39,627 --> 00:05:42,063
I have no reference point
for this era.
134
00:05:42,063 --> 00:05:43,431
♪♪
135
00:05:43,431 --> 00:05:45,800
Morning, son.
What looks good?
136
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,335
Oh, I don't know --
People being able
137
00:05:47,335 --> 00:05:48,636
to raise themselves
out of poverty,
138
00:05:48,636 --> 00:05:50,338
having a chance
at a good education,
139
00:05:50,338 --> 00:05:51,539
a middle class.
140
00:05:51,539 --> 00:05:53,374
You are treading
on thin ice, mister.
141
00:05:53,374 --> 00:05:54,742
Now lose the attitude
142
00:05:54,742 --> 00:05:57,011
and cheat some people
out of their money.
143
00:05:57,011 --> 00:06:00,414
[ Telephone rings in distance ]
144
00:06:00,414 --> 00:06:02,416
Hello, this is Angela Geils
from Kappa Kappa Capital.
145
00:06:02,416 --> 00:06:04,552
Did you know that there are some
very interesting opportunities
146
00:06:04,552 --> 00:06:07,288
available in the stock market
that you might not be aware of?
147
00:06:07,288 --> 00:06:09,557
Man: Oh, yeah?
What are they?
148
00:06:09,557 --> 00:06:12,660
Uh, for example, you could
buy something called
149
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:16,330
Scabuble Shaving Systems.
That sounds great.
150
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:17,832
Put me down for
a million dollars' worth.
151
00:06:17,832 --> 00:06:20,668
Uh, sir, I don't recommend --
Make it two million.
152
00:06:20,668 --> 00:06:24,038
I got to go.
153
00:06:24,038 --> 00:06:27,308
Here's your commission,
Mr. Geils.
154
00:06:27,308 --> 00:06:28,976
Oh, my God, I'm rich!
155
00:06:28,976 --> 00:06:33,147
Ms. Newt wants
to see you.
156
00:06:33,147 --> 00:06:36,651
♪♪
157
00:06:39,453 --> 00:06:42,023
[ Indistinct chatter ]
158
00:06:42,023 --> 00:06:48,029
♪♪
159
00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:49,930
Norrah Newt.
Have a seat, A.J.
160
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,999
[ Door closes ]
161
00:06:51,999 --> 00:06:54,402
♪♪
162
00:06:54,402 --> 00:06:55,870
It's a papasan chair.
163
00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:58,973
Invented by the Japanese
as a place to sit awkwardly.
164
00:06:58,973 --> 00:07:02,510
♪♪
165
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:03,210
Oh!
166
00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:04,812
Shit.
167
00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:19,360
I like it.
168
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,628
It's different.
169
00:07:20,628 --> 00:07:22,129
Did you know there's
no Japanese word
170
00:07:22,129 --> 00:07:23,097
for "business"?
171
00:07:23,097 --> 00:07:25,066
Isn't it "bijinesu"?
172
00:07:25,066 --> 00:07:27,635
Maybe there is.
173
00:07:27,635 --> 00:07:29,770
Heard you made your first
big commission today.
174
00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:33,140
Yes, ma'am. Uh...
Scabuble Shaving Systems.
175
00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:34,275
It's garbage.
176
00:07:34,275 --> 00:07:36,677
It's up 21% on the year.
Exactly.
177
00:07:36,677 --> 00:07:38,346
And in tomorrow's news,
there will be a story about
178
00:07:38,346 --> 00:07:40,281
a man who sliced his neck open
with a Scabuble razor,
179
00:07:40,281 --> 00:07:41,782
and that story will be
planted by me,
180
00:07:41,782 --> 00:07:44,885
but not before I've unloaded
every last one of my shares.
181
00:07:44,885 --> 00:07:46,220
That's totally immoral.
182
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,822
This is a $75,000 watch.
183
00:07:47,822 --> 00:07:49,757
Let me see what you got
on your wrist.
184
00:07:51,859 --> 00:07:54,161
Is that moral, that you should
have cheap things
185
00:07:54,161 --> 00:07:55,996
while I enjoy
the best of everything?
186
00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:57,431
I-I'm happy with
what I have.
187
00:07:57,431 --> 00:07:59,667
Only because you've
never had more.
188
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:02,670
Come here.
Let me show you something.
189
00:08:08,075 --> 00:08:10,144
Cute kid, huh?
190
00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:12,279
I'm thinking of
buying her.
191
00:08:14,415 --> 00:08:16,550
This is me the day
my parents abandoned me.
192
00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:18,486
I bounced around foster homes
till age 15,
193
00:08:18,486 --> 00:08:20,154
when I started
my own business
194
00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:21,722
buying and selling
foster homes.
195
00:08:21,722 --> 00:08:25,826
By age 20,
I made my first trillion.
196
00:08:25,826 --> 00:08:27,895
Did your parents ever
abandon you, A.J.?
197
00:08:27,895 --> 00:08:29,330
Only once.
198
00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:30,531
Probably made you
pretty vulnerable
199
00:08:30,531 --> 00:08:32,099
to sympathetic
authority figures.
200
00:08:32,099 --> 00:08:34,668
That's not Mom.
I mean, true.
201
00:08:34,668 --> 00:08:36,771
We're gonna go places,
buddy.
202
00:08:36,771 --> 00:08:41,208
♪♪
203
00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:43,077
Here's a million bucks.
204
00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:44,912
A kid's got to have some
walkin' around money.
205
00:08:44,912 --> 00:08:46,347
Wow! Thanks.
206
00:08:46,347 --> 00:08:47,615
All right.
Get out of here.
207
00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:48,949
I got to be staring
out the window
208
00:08:48,949 --> 00:08:50,051
for my next meeting.
209
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:57,725
♪♪
210
00:08:57,725 --> 00:08:59,093
[ Sighs ]
211
00:08:59,093 --> 00:09:00,895
[ Door opens ]
All right, then.
212
00:09:00,895 --> 00:09:02,963
We've successfully
infiltrated the company.
213
00:09:02,963 --> 00:09:04,999
Now it's time to start
poking a few bears,
214
00:09:04,999 --> 00:09:07,968
see if we can get them to crap
out some honey.
215
00:09:07,968 --> 00:09:10,704
How was your one-on-one
with Newt, A.J.?
216
00:09:10,704 --> 00:09:12,706
It was okay,
I guess.
Really?
217
00:09:12,706 --> 00:09:14,608
I thought you were totally
disgusted by her.
218
00:09:14,608 --> 00:09:17,211
The greed, the excess,
the possible murder.
219
00:09:17,211 --> 00:09:19,313
Hey, we have
nothing on her.
220
00:09:19,313 --> 00:09:21,315
Everything you just said
is pure speculation,
221
00:09:21,315 --> 00:09:22,750
except for the greed
and the excess.
222
00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:25,419
Sorry, I didn't realize
you were best friends now.
223
00:09:25,419 --> 00:09:27,521
Well, we are.
A-A-Another thing.
224
00:09:27,521 --> 00:09:29,423
Why are we all so poor?
225
00:09:29,423 --> 00:09:31,125
I mean, all we need to do
is buy stocks,
226
00:09:31,125 --> 00:09:33,260
sabotage the company --
We'd be on Easy Street.
227
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,763
Wow, that's a lot
to take in.
228
00:09:35,763 --> 00:09:37,698
[ Mumbling ]
229
00:09:37,698 --> 00:09:39,500
Whatever.
I need to go back to work.
230
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,802
Money don't sleep.
231
00:09:44,872 --> 00:09:46,841
[ Door closes ]
I don't know about you,
232
00:09:46,841 --> 00:09:50,110
but I am starting to really
like him.
I'm worried.
233
00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:53,347
You remember back in the day,
Mahoney and the aquarium op?
234
00:09:53,347 --> 00:09:54,849
Mahoney was diagnosed
with schizophrenia
235
00:09:54,849 --> 00:09:57,251
long before he decided to live
as a manta ray.
236
00:09:57,251 --> 00:09:59,854
[ Sighs ]
237
00:09:59,854 --> 00:10:01,355
[ Door opens ]
238
00:10:01,355 --> 00:10:04,792
Uh, Dr. Stolls?
Can I talk to you?
239
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:05,893
It's Scholls.
240
00:10:05,893 --> 00:10:10,297
♪♪
241
00:10:10,297 --> 00:10:11,599
When I was a sophomore,
242
00:10:11,599 --> 00:10:13,033
I wrote my Behavioral
Economics paper
243
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:15,236
on the relationship
between saltine crackers
244
00:10:15,236 --> 00:10:16,470
and the United States
economy.
245
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:17,838
I thought it was odd
when you smashed
246
00:10:17,838 --> 00:10:20,074
Grammbbowski's computer,
but now it's paying off.
247
00:10:20,074 --> 00:10:21,609
Go on.
Well, the paper
248
00:10:21,609 --> 00:10:22,910
got some attention
on Wall Street
249
00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:24,745
before it was
universally dismissed,
250
00:10:24,745 --> 00:10:27,281
except by one person --
Philip Grammbbowski.
251
00:10:27,281 --> 00:10:30,351
Why are you telling me this?
I thought you hated me.
252
00:10:30,351 --> 00:10:33,654
Well, I guess I was afraid of
being laughed at by everyone.
253
00:10:33,654 --> 00:10:35,356
But since you're not
someone I look up to,
254
00:10:35,356 --> 00:10:38,158
I figured it was
a pretty safe bet.
255
00:10:38,158 --> 00:10:39,326
Thank you.
256
00:10:39,326 --> 00:10:41,128
That means a lot.
257
00:10:41,128 --> 00:10:43,998
Let's go get
that paper.
258
00:10:43,998 --> 00:10:46,066
[ Gong sounding ]
259
00:10:46,066 --> 00:10:49,803
[ Sniffing ]
260
00:10:49,803 --> 00:10:51,739
Whoo!
Listen up, everybody!
261
00:10:51,739 --> 00:10:53,941
I am pleased to announce
Kappa Kappa Capital's
262
00:10:53,941 --> 00:10:56,610
next billion dollar
sales contest winner.
263
00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:58,145
You know him, you love him,
264
00:10:58,145 --> 00:10:59,513
you don't really know him.
265
00:10:59,513 --> 00:11:01,348
A.J. Pseudonym!
266
00:11:01,348 --> 00:11:04,451
[ Cheers and applause ]
267
00:11:04,451 --> 00:11:13,794
♪♪
268
00:11:13,794 --> 00:11:22,937
♪♪
269
00:11:22,937 --> 00:11:24,838
-Todd!
-Coming!
270
00:11:24,838 --> 00:11:29,543
♪♪
271
00:11:29,543 --> 00:11:32,846
[ All cheering ]
272
00:11:32,846 --> 00:11:35,082
♪♪
273
00:11:35,082 --> 00:11:36,450
Aaaah!
274
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:39,553
Whooo!
[ Laughs ]
275
00:11:39,553 --> 00:11:51,932
♪♪
276
00:11:51,932 --> 00:11:53,367
[ Groans ]
277
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:55,269
[ Sighs ]
278
00:11:55,269 --> 00:11:58,405
♪♪
279
00:11:58,405 --> 00:12:01,508
♪♪
280
00:12:01,508 --> 00:12:03,010
You done good, kid.
281
00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,645
You made a lot of money
for the company.
282
00:12:04,645 --> 00:12:06,647
That's only gonna
increase our profits.
283
00:12:06,647 --> 00:12:08,382
I'm just doing
what you told me.
284
00:12:08,382 --> 00:12:11,018
Kickin' ass
and takin' names.
285
00:12:15,189 --> 00:12:16,123
Charles.
286
00:12:16,123 --> 00:12:18,826
♪♪
287
00:12:18,826 --> 00:12:21,762
But it's all been
small potatoes so far.
288
00:12:21,762 --> 00:12:24,765
Can we get some
steaks over here?
289
00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:26,634
How much money did you
make this week?
290
00:12:26,634 --> 00:12:29,903
I don't know.
50, 52 billion.
291
00:12:29,903 --> 00:12:31,171
Peanuts.
292
00:12:31,171 --> 00:12:34,174
Linus is trying to give up
his blanket.
293
00:12:34,174 --> 00:12:36,377
It's time we took down
the whole enchilada.
294
00:12:36,377 --> 00:12:38,512
Server: Hot plate.
[ Sizzling ]
295
00:12:38,512 --> 00:12:41,148
I got to say,
$52 billion
296
00:12:41,148 --> 00:12:43,050
kind of covers my nut.
297
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:48,922
♪♪
298
00:12:48,922 --> 00:12:52,926
But why settle for $52 billion
when you could have $53 billion?
299
00:12:52,926 --> 00:12:54,728
Immoral is one thing,
but we're not talking
300
00:12:54,728 --> 00:12:56,363
about anything
illegal here, are we?
301
00:12:56,363 --> 00:12:58,499
What's the matter?
You scared?
302
00:12:58,499 --> 00:13:00,067
No, I'm not scared.
303
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:02,102
It's not like your mom's gonna
be disappointed in you.
304
00:13:02,102 --> 00:13:03,704
Wh-What are you
talking about?
305
00:13:03,704 --> 00:13:05,539
Because you said you were
an orphan like me.
306
00:13:05,539 --> 00:13:07,374
Oh, yeah, yes.
307
00:13:07,374 --> 00:13:09,910
T-Totally.
Absolutely no parents.
308
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:12,246
Right.
So let's do this.
309
00:13:12,246 --> 00:13:14,148
Let's raid the biggest
corporation there is --
310
00:13:14,148 --> 00:13:17,451
the United States
of America.
311
00:13:17,451 --> 00:13:18,819
Sign me up.
312
00:13:18,819 --> 00:13:21,088
Great.
You're in.
313
00:13:21,088 --> 00:13:23,357
You're just gonna need
a swim suit, a towel,
314
00:13:23,357 --> 00:13:24,925
and a bag lunch.
315
00:13:24,925 --> 00:13:26,727
♪♪
316
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:30,964
All right.
317
00:13:30,964 --> 00:13:32,266
Let's hear this
cockamamie theory.
I'm nervous.
318
00:13:32,266 --> 00:13:34,768
Just picture them
in their underwear.
319
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,976
Webster's defines economics
as the, uh...
320
00:13:42,976 --> 00:13:44,878
Two years ago,
the saltine cracker market
321
00:13:44,878 --> 00:13:46,880
took a nose dive,
and I wanted to know why,
322
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,782
from a behavioral economic
perspective.
323
00:13:48,782 --> 00:13:50,250
So I dug a little deeper.
324
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,852
Why aren't people
buying saltines?
325
00:13:51,852 --> 00:13:54,121
-Soup.
-Exactly.
326
00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:55,756
People aren't eating soup
anymore.
327
00:13:55,756 --> 00:13:58,959
That's ridiculous!
I had soup as recently as --
328
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:01,962
Oh, my God.
She is right.
329
00:14:01,962 --> 00:14:03,330
Wait.
330
00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:04,998
I have no idea
what we're talking about.
331
00:14:04,998 --> 00:14:07,868
Why has the soup market
suddenly gone lukewarm?
332
00:14:07,868 --> 00:14:09,803
Why? Tell us.
No, I'm asking you.
333
00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:12,372
That's as far as I got
with my paper.
334
00:14:12,372 --> 00:14:15,542
I, uh...
only got a "C."
335
00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:16,944
Scholls: People
aren't eating soup
336
00:14:16,944 --> 00:14:18,645
because the Earth is
getting warmer.
337
00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:20,180
And you know what
that means.
338
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:22,116
Of course! Wait.
339
00:14:22,116 --> 00:14:24,118
I still have no idea
how this relates to anything.
340
00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:26,253
Think about this --
It's a hot day.
341
00:14:26,253 --> 00:14:28,388
You want to take a casual walk
around the block.
342
00:14:28,388 --> 00:14:29,690
But what do wear?
343
00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:31,158
You'll roast in a pair
of long pants,
344
00:14:31,158 --> 00:14:32,559
so you reach in your closet
and pull out --
345
00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:33,794
Jean shorts.
346
00:14:33,794 --> 00:14:35,395
Jean shorts are
the Achilles heel
347
00:14:35,395 --> 00:14:38,499
of the entire U.S. economy,
and Philip Grammbbowski knew it.
348
00:14:38,499 --> 00:14:40,834
He knew that if anything
were to disrupt that market,
349
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:43,237
the whole financial system
comes crashing down.
350
00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:45,572
And guess who's been buying up
every denim factory
351
00:14:45,572 --> 00:14:47,241
from North Korea
to South Korea?
352
00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:48,408
I am so sorry, guys.
353
00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:50,110
I'm not even close
to being on this train.
354
00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:51,845
Could you demonstrate
with a Jenga tower
355
00:14:51,845 --> 00:14:54,114
or maybe some oranges?
356
00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:55,582
Norrah Newt is
going to buy up
357
00:14:55,582 --> 00:14:57,284
all of the denim
and collapse the market.
358
00:14:57,284 --> 00:14:59,052
Grammbbowski found out
what she was doing,
359
00:14:59,052 --> 00:15:01,955
pulled out all of his money,
and ended up as turkey jerky.
360
00:15:01,955 --> 00:15:04,258
Why does Newt want to sink
the U.S. economy?
361
00:15:04,258 --> 00:15:06,226
I can't imagine
she's acting alone,
362
00:15:06,226 --> 00:15:08,228
but my son is the only one
who can answer that question,
363
00:15:08,228 --> 00:15:10,130
but he has gone
full Donnie Brasco.
364
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:11,598
So take him out.
365
00:15:11,598 --> 00:15:12,499
He's my son.
366
00:15:12,499 --> 00:15:13,567
Oh, shit, right.
367
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:15,068
But maybe taking him out
368
00:15:15,068 --> 00:15:17,738
is exactly what
this situation requires.
369
00:15:17,738 --> 00:15:20,007
I swear to God, I didn't
make the connection!
[ Door opens ]
370
00:15:20,007 --> 00:15:21,475
Don't kill him!
[ Door closes ]
371
00:15:21,475 --> 00:15:22,810
Great.
372
00:15:22,810 --> 00:15:24,711
Thank you.
373
00:15:24,711 --> 00:15:26,880
Gap, Levi's, Jordache,
374
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,050
and Osh Kosh B'Gosh
all ours.
375
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:33,187
We now own 98% of all
jean short production.
376
00:15:33,187 --> 00:15:34,454
I'm proud of you, A.J.
377
00:15:34,454 --> 00:15:36,356
[ Sighs ]
Freeze! S.E.C.!
378
00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:38,292
Wh--
Let's go, dirtbag.
379
00:15:38,292 --> 00:15:40,027
Stay strong and keep
your mouth shut.
380
00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:43,063
I said move it!
Okay, take it easy, man!
381
00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:44,331
♪♪
382
00:15:44,331 --> 00:15:45,299
Easy.
383
00:15:45,299 --> 00:15:46,400
Ow!
384
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,601
[ Telephones ringing ]
385
00:15:47,601 --> 00:15:49,369
I don't know who
you are or --
386
00:15:49,369 --> 00:15:51,004
Mom?! What the hell
are you doing?
387
00:15:51,004 --> 00:15:52,906
I want to show you
something.
388
00:15:52,906 --> 00:15:54,575
Mom, what the hell
are you doing?
389
00:15:54,575 --> 00:15:57,144
I want to show you something.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
390
00:15:57,144 --> 00:15:58,645
Mom, what the hell
are you doing?
391
00:15:58,645 --> 00:16:00,080
I want to show you
something.
392
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,415
Ow!
393
00:16:01,415 --> 00:16:02,850
[ Indistinct talking ]
394
00:16:02,850 --> 00:16:04,384
You know who that is?
395
00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:06,753
...sales are down 20%.
396
00:16:06,753 --> 00:16:08,522
No idea.
397
00:16:08,522 --> 00:16:09,957
That's Bobson Dugnutt.
398
00:16:09,957 --> 00:16:13,594
He's the former C.E.O.
of Scabuble Shaving Systems.
399
00:16:13,594 --> 00:16:15,229
What's he doing here?
400
00:16:15,229 --> 00:16:17,364
Well, since you
and Newt torpedoed
401
00:16:17,364 --> 00:16:19,032
his Fortune 500 company,
402
00:16:19,032 --> 00:16:20,601
he had to take a job
as a C.E.O.
403
00:16:20,601 --> 00:16:23,070
at a slightly smaller
company.
404
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:25,806
He used to manage
5,500 employees.
405
00:16:25,806 --> 00:16:29,643
Now he manages 3,500.
406
00:16:29,643 --> 00:16:31,111
I didn't know.
407
00:16:31,111 --> 00:16:34,481
No, you didn't know,
because you don't stop to think
408
00:16:34,481 --> 00:16:36,550
about the human beings
behind the numbers.
409
00:16:36,550 --> 00:16:38,886
Get out of the way!
410
00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:42,589
He had to trade
in his G5 for a G4.
411
00:16:42,589 --> 00:16:45,525
And look at his suit.
I --
412
00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:47,694
It looks like --
Looks like
it's right off the rack?
413
00:16:47,694 --> 00:16:49,696
I'm gonna be sick.
414
00:16:49,696 --> 00:16:51,965
That's the
Norrah Newt Effect.
415
00:16:51,965 --> 00:16:55,869
You still want
to be part of it?
416
00:16:55,869 --> 00:16:58,305
[ Strained ]
I don't know.
417
00:16:58,305 --> 00:17:00,841
Why is Newt trying to collapse
the jean short market?
418
00:17:00,841 --> 00:17:02,476
[ Voice breaking ]
I'm in too deep, Mom. I can't.
419
00:17:02,476 --> 00:17:04,211
Damn it, A.J.!
420
00:17:04,211 --> 00:17:06,179
I know things have been
hard for you, okay?
421
00:17:06,179 --> 00:17:08,115
I know I wasn't there
for you.
422
00:17:08,115 --> 00:17:09,850
But none of that
matters now.
423
00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:12,986
You have to decide
who you want to be.
424
00:17:12,986 --> 00:17:15,222
I'm sorry, Mom.
425
00:17:15,222 --> 00:17:17,891
I guess I just love money
too much now.
426
00:17:17,891 --> 00:17:20,594
♪♪
427
00:17:20,594 --> 00:17:22,262
Take him away.
428
00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:24,298
What?
[ Handcuffs click ]
429
00:17:24,298 --> 00:17:26,366
What? I don't --
[ Handcuffs click ]
430
00:17:26,366 --> 00:17:28,435
[ Groans ] Mom...
431
00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:30,637
Mom!
432
00:17:30,637 --> 00:17:34,074
♪♪
433
00:17:37,177 --> 00:17:40,514
♪♪
434
00:17:40,514 --> 00:17:43,183
I'm proud of you, buddy.
You made the right decision.
435
00:17:43,183 --> 00:17:45,252
[ Sighing ] If I'm going
all the way with this,
436
00:17:45,252 --> 00:17:47,487
I want to know
I'm gonna be mega rich,
437
00:17:47,487 --> 00:17:50,424
like don't bother bringing the
Bed Bath & Beyond coupon rich.
438
00:17:50,424 --> 00:17:51,925
I think you'll find
the U.S. Treasury
439
00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:53,527
has everything
you're looking for.
440
00:17:53,527 --> 00:17:55,362
Once the French government
gives us the go-ahead,
441
00:17:55,362 --> 00:17:58,165
we'll make our move and watch
the economy go into free fall.
442
00:17:58,165 --> 00:17:59,833
So the French are the ones
staking you?
443
00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,101
That's right.
444
00:18:01,101 --> 00:18:02,669
But by the time this
whole thing burns down,
445
00:18:02,669 --> 00:18:05,505
we'll be on an island
in the middle of Lake Michigan.
446
00:18:05,505 --> 00:18:08,008
I'm in.
447
00:18:08,008 --> 00:18:10,310
I just need to use
the bathroom first.
448
00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:12,646
You're gonna use
a park bathroom?
449
00:18:12,646 --> 00:18:15,282
It's an emergency.
450
00:18:16,783 --> 00:18:19,353
Ooh.
451
00:18:19,353 --> 00:18:21,788
I think I got it.
452
00:18:21,788 --> 00:18:23,523
[ Grunts ]
453
00:18:23,523 --> 00:18:25,993
[ Record scratching ]
Tape's no good.
We need it again.
454
00:18:25,993 --> 00:18:27,294
What?
Are you kidding me?
455
00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:28,662
She's totally gonna
suspect something.
456
00:18:28,662 --> 00:18:31,398
Just get her to run down
the basics, then get out.
457
00:18:31,398 --> 00:18:32,532
[ Sighs ]
458
00:18:32,532 --> 00:18:34,368
Once the French government
gives us the go-ahead,
459
00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:37,070
we'll make our move and watch
the economy go into free fall.
460
00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:38,939
So the French are the ones
staking you?
461
00:18:38,939 --> 00:18:40,640
That's right,
but by the time
462
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,909
this whole thing burns down,
we'll be on an island
463
00:18:42,909 --> 00:18:45,178
in the middle of
Lake Michigan.
464
00:18:45,178 --> 00:18:46,713
Too much interference.
We didn't get it.
465
00:18:46,713 --> 00:18:47,948
Come on, man!
466
00:18:47,948 --> 00:18:50,450
One more time,
and we are out of here.
467
00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:52,285
[ Sighs ]
468
00:18:52,285 --> 00:18:54,087
But by the time this
whole thing burns down,
469
00:18:54,087 --> 00:18:58,425
we'll be on an island
in the middle of Lake Michigan.
470
00:18:58,425 --> 00:18:59,826
Wait a second.
471
00:18:59,826 --> 00:19:02,562
♪♪
472
00:19:02,562 --> 00:19:05,699
Are you wearing a wire?
473
00:19:05,699 --> 00:19:08,235
You son of a bitch!
474
00:19:08,235 --> 00:19:10,670
You could've had everything.
You could've been me.
475
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,472
I guess I did fantasize
about being you
476
00:19:12,472 --> 00:19:13,907
for the last day
and a quarter.
477
00:19:13,907 --> 00:19:15,342
But in the end,
478
00:19:15,342 --> 00:19:18,145
I need to be someone
who makes his mom proud.
479
00:19:18,145 --> 00:19:20,347
You have a parent?!
480
00:19:20,347 --> 00:19:23,250
♪♪
481
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:25,285
A.J.: But in the end,
482
00:19:25,285 --> 00:19:28,255
I need to be someone
who makes his mom proud.
483
00:19:28,255 --> 00:19:30,590
[ Click ]
484
00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:33,493
Do I have to give
the money back?
485
00:19:33,493 --> 00:19:34,694
Afraid so, kid.
486
00:19:34,694 --> 00:19:37,531
[ Scoffs ]
487
00:19:37,531 --> 00:19:39,599
Scholls, what's happening
on Wall Street?
488
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:42,235
The markets have stabilized,
and the Treasury Department
489
00:19:42,235 --> 00:19:44,371
is raiding Kappa Kappa Capital
as we speak.
490
00:19:44,371 --> 00:19:46,106
Charo: And from
a behavioral perspective,
491
00:19:46,106 --> 00:19:48,175
people are confident
in the economy again.
492
00:19:48,175 --> 00:19:49,910
Atkins:
Good work, people.
493
00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:51,645
Good work.
494
00:19:51,645 --> 00:19:53,713
Now let's head back
to Los Angeles.
495
00:19:53,713 --> 00:19:56,149
♪♪
496
00:19:56,149 --> 00:19:59,086
I'm desperate to do
a load of laundry.
497
00:20:00,787 --> 00:20:12,899
♪♪
498
00:20:12,899 --> 00:20:25,245
♪♪
35248
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