All language subtitles for Angie Tribeca S04E03 Joystick Luck Club [1080p][WEB-DL][HEVC 10bit x265][AAC5.1]_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,624 --> 00:00:05,560 It's called "eSports," and it's real. 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:07,762 Professional video gamers going head-to-head 3 00:00:07,762 --> 00:00:09,931 as a stadium full of people watch. 4 00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:11,633 [ Crowd shouts "BoneDevil" ] Oh, and here he comes, 5 00:00:11,633 --> 00:00:13,534 the defending "Voyage Quest" champion -- 6 00:00:13,534 --> 00:00:15,370 BoneDevil666. 7 00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:17,338 Let's see if we can get a word. Mr. Devil! Mr. Devil! 8 00:00:17,338 --> 00:00:18,840 Can I get two words from you? 9 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,342 Uh, sure. Yes. 10 00:00:21,342 --> 00:00:24,012 A win for you today would bring your team 11 00:00:24,012 --> 00:00:25,947 one step closer to the world championships 12 00:00:25,947 --> 00:00:27,248 in Pyongyang. 13 00:00:27,248 --> 00:00:28,683 Are you feeling the pressure? 14 00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:31,019 The Big Bone dominates "Voyage Quest." 15 00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:32,854 That's an undisputed fact. 16 00:00:32,854 --> 00:00:34,422 And anyone who gets in his way 17 00:00:34,422 --> 00:00:36,124 is gonna be looking at the business end 18 00:00:36,124 --> 00:00:38,092 of a Complainium Broadsword. 19 00:00:38,092 --> 00:00:39,427 No more questions. What? 20 00:00:39,427 --> 00:00:41,462 Hey, hey, hey. Can I get your autograph? 21 00:00:41,462 --> 00:00:42,564 Oh, yeah, sure. 22 00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:44,299 Who should I, uh, make it out to? 23 00:00:44,299 --> 00:00:45,733 [ Crowd gasps ] Barbara: Oh, my God! 24 00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:49,270 BoneDevil666 has just been ruthlessly attacked! 25 00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:51,839 [ Crying ] Why? Why? Why? Why? 26 00:00:51,839 --> 00:00:53,841 [ Gunshot ] 27 00:00:53,841 --> 00:00:56,177 ♪♪ 28 00:00:56,177 --> 00:01:00,348 Atkins: BoneDevil666 is the nom de guerre 29 00:01:00,348 --> 00:01:03,518 of 22-year-old professional gamer Paul Boneson. 30 00:01:03,518 --> 00:01:04,719 [ Horn honking ] 31 00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:06,754 Sorry, Murphy. Above your pay grade. 32 00:01:06,754 --> 00:01:08,656 Come on, Hoffman! 33 00:01:08,656 --> 00:01:11,059 [ Curtain slides ] 34 00:01:11,059 --> 00:01:13,261 Boneson plays a game called "Voyage Quest" 35 00:01:13,261 --> 00:01:15,563 for a professional gaming team known as SharkSpark. 36 00:01:15,563 --> 00:01:17,398 The attack, which you're seeing now, 37 00:01:17,398 --> 00:01:18,800 has taken his fingers out of the running 38 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:19,968 for the world championships. 39 00:01:19,968 --> 00:01:21,970 Sir, I thought we were taking cases 40 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:23,738 outside of law enforcement, 41 00:01:23,738 --> 00:01:27,308 like international espionage and haunted trains? 42 00:01:27,308 --> 00:01:28,876 Damn it, Mom. Your unique brand of skepticism 43 00:01:28,876 --> 00:01:30,478 is gonna tear this team apart! 44 00:01:30,478 --> 00:01:33,648 Fortunately, I anticipated Tribeca's rock-hard cynicism. 45 00:01:33,648 --> 00:01:35,583 Therefore, this briefing will be given 46 00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:38,286 by the director of the Special Division Force himself... 47 00:01:38,286 --> 00:01:41,089 [ Brakes squeak ] ...Vice President Joe Perry. 48 00:01:41,089 --> 00:01:42,724 [ Door opens ] 49 00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:45,360 ♪♪ 50 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,595 BoneDevil666 is the nom de guerre 51 00:01:47,595 --> 00:01:48,963 of a 22-year-old gamer named Paul -- 52 00:01:48,963 --> 00:01:50,398 Sorry, Joe. I-I covered that. 53 00:01:50,398 --> 00:01:52,066 You were further down the road than I thought. 54 00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:54,035 Did Tribeca show her unique brand of skepticism? 55 00:01:54,035 --> 00:01:55,169 That's exactly where we are. 56 00:01:55,169 --> 00:01:57,138 The video gaming industry 57 00:01:57,138 --> 00:01:58,740 brings more money into the U.S. economy 58 00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:01,476 than missiles, oil, and coffee-cup sleeves combined. 59 00:02:01,476 --> 00:02:04,779 If a foreign entity wants to disrupt that industry, 60 00:02:04,779 --> 00:02:05,947 we wanna know about it, 61 00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:08,016 and ideally, we wanna stop it. 62 00:02:08,016 --> 00:02:10,084 You know what I just heard you say? 63 00:02:10,084 --> 00:02:12,286 "I'm sending you to prison for 20 years." 64 00:02:12,286 --> 00:02:14,022 Oh, my God. Are you still on that? 65 00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:15,556 It's been like 20 years. 66 00:02:15,556 --> 00:02:17,458 You locked me up and threw away the key! 67 00:02:17,458 --> 00:02:19,627 I didn't know that was the only copy! 68 00:02:20,628 --> 00:02:22,897 Look, Tribeca, that was a different time. 69 00:02:22,897 --> 00:02:25,233 Back then, putting people in jail was all the rage, 70 00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:27,568 and I guess I just jumped on the bandwagon. 71 00:02:27,568 --> 00:02:29,704 All I care about is the safety of this nation. 72 00:02:29,704 --> 00:02:31,406 That's why I brought you on board, 73 00:02:31,406 --> 00:02:34,142 because I knew I could count on you. 74 00:02:34,142 --> 00:02:36,711 So, can I... count on you... 75 00:02:36,711 --> 00:02:39,714 to care...about the safety... of our nation? 76 00:02:39,714 --> 00:02:43,117 ♪♪ 77 00:02:43,117 --> 00:02:44,585 Yes, sir. 78 00:02:44,585 --> 00:02:46,154 All right, then. 79 00:02:46,154 --> 00:02:48,990 BoneDevil666 is recovering in a hospital bed 80 00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:50,625 in Little Rock, Arkansas. 81 00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:52,994 It's the gaming capital of the United States. 82 00:02:52,994 --> 00:02:54,529 Find out who attacked him and why. 83 00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:56,431 And even though everything you're doing 84 00:02:56,431 --> 00:02:59,133 will be perfectly legal, don't tell anyone anything, 85 00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:00,902 unless you follow up with, "Just kidding." 86 00:03:00,902 --> 00:03:05,840 ♪♪ 87 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,042 [ Monitor beeping ] [ Indistinct talking over P.A. ] 88 00:03:08,042 --> 00:03:09,544 [ Groans ] 89 00:03:09,544 --> 00:03:11,679 So, you didn't get a look at the guy who attacked you? 90 00:03:11,679 --> 00:03:14,282 I just remember he was wearing a ski mask. 91 00:03:14,282 --> 00:03:16,484 Lose the attitude, you little prick. 92 00:03:16,484 --> 00:03:18,286 Now, it's gonna be painful, 93 00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:19,787 but I wanna get your fingers moving. 94 00:03:19,787 --> 00:03:21,856 [ Scoffs ] 95 00:03:21,856 --> 00:03:25,193 ♪♪ 96 00:03:25,193 --> 00:03:27,829 [ Groans ] I can't do it. 97 00:03:27,829 --> 00:03:30,331 Who are these people? What are they doing here? 98 00:03:30,331 --> 00:03:31,532 We're trying to get to the bottom 99 00:03:31,532 --> 00:03:32,967 of who attacked Mr. Boneson. 100 00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:35,136 A better question might be, "Who are you?" 101 00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:36,804 And an even better question might be, 102 00:03:36,804 --> 00:03:39,407 "If prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, 103 00:03:39,407 --> 00:03:41,976 who earned the money to pay for the first prostitute?" 104 00:03:41,976 --> 00:03:44,545 I'm Becky Bunnker, and it's obvious what happened. 105 00:03:44,545 --> 00:03:48,316 Someone, who probably doesn't stand for the national anthem, 106 00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:50,051 didn't want him to become world champion. 107 00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:52,453 Yeah, well, it doesn't seem like Mr. Jelly Fingers over here 108 00:03:52,453 --> 00:03:54,555 even cares about the world championships. 109 00:03:54,555 --> 00:03:57,425 You couldn't be more wrong. "Voyage Quest" is his life. 110 00:03:57,425 --> 00:03:59,427 I don't know who told you otherwise. 111 00:03:59,427 --> 00:04:02,096 Actually, Beck, I'm just done with this whole thing. 112 00:04:02,096 --> 00:04:03,698 I think I'm just gonna get a job 113 00:04:03,698 --> 00:04:05,633 teaching animals to play video games. 114 00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:07,335 You don't know what you're saying, BoneDevil. 115 00:04:07,335 --> 00:04:08,736 We had plans, right? 116 00:04:08,736 --> 00:04:10,271 We were gonna buy that Fuddruckers 117 00:04:10,271 --> 00:04:12,773 with your winnings. [ Cellphone rings ] 118 00:04:12,773 --> 00:04:15,543 [ Cellphone beeps ] Tribeca. 119 00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:17,078 Right away, sir. [ Cellphone beeps ] 120 00:04:17,078 --> 00:04:18,546 This just in -- 121 00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:20,515 the attacker turned himself in to Little Rock PD. 122 00:04:20,515 --> 00:04:21,916 He's at the station now. 123 00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:23,417 Well, don't you think we should have a word with him 124 00:04:23,417 --> 00:04:24,986 before somebody else does? 125 00:04:24,986 --> 00:04:30,825 ♪♪ 126 00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:33,494 How much longer do I have to wait here? 127 00:04:33,494 --> 00:04:35,763 I'm trying to confess to a crime! 128 00:04:35,763 --> 00:04:37,665 Take a number. 129 00:04:37,665 --> 00:04:40,968 -Yo, pastrami, please. -Coming up. 130 00:04:40,968 --> 00:04:42,970 [ Police radio chatter ] 131 00:04:42,970 --> 00:04:45,973 [ Indistinct conversations ] 132 00:04:45,973 --> 00:04:47,575 [ Engine starts ] 133 00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:55,983 ♪♪ 134 00:04:55,983 --> 00:04:57,585 [ Chuckles ] 135 00:05:00,521 --> 00:05:02,190 [ Grunts ] I want answers. 136 00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,225 And I want 'em now! 137 00:05:04,225 --> 00:05:06,460 [ Grunting ] 138 00:05:14,335 --> 00:05:16,070 [ Slurps ] 139 00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:17,104 [ Sighs ] 140 00:05:17,104 --> 00:05:18,406 Just do it. 141 00:05:18,406 --> 00:05:19,707 Just get it over with. 142 00:05:19,707 --> 00:05:21,409 We just wanna know what happened. 143 00:05:21,409 --> 00:05:23,044 They're gonna come after me, man. 144 00:05:23,044 --> 00:05:25,913 They're gonna kill you because of what you did to Paul Boneson? 145 00:05:25,913 --> 00:05:27,048 Yes! 146 00:05:27,048 --> 00:05:28,416 [ Whispers ] To keep me quiet! 147 00:05:28,416 --> 00:05:29,517 Do you know them? 148 00:05:29,517 --> 00:05:30,852 [ Normal voice ] It's my team. 149 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:33,020 It's SharkSpark. They're me. I'm them. 150 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:36,224 Why would SharkSpark wanna go after its own players? 151 00:05:36,224 --> 00:05:39,927 It's all about coins, man. All they want is coins. 152 00:05:39,927 --> 00:05:42,196 "They"? The company? 153 00:05:42,196 --> 00:05:44,165 It's the company working with the gamers, 154 00:05:44,165 --> 00:05:46,701 working with the Mafia, working with the CIA, 155 00:05:46,701 --> 00:05:49,637 working with a temp agency. 156 00:05:49,637 --> 00:05:51,539 This is a riddle wrapped in a sudoku 157 00:05:51,539 --> 00:05:53,808 tied up with a crossword suspended over the jumble. 158 00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:57,245 And they're gonna come after me. I'm a dead man. 159 00:05:57,245 --> 00:05:59,313 Look, we're gonna keep you safe. 160 00:05:59,313 --> 00:06:01,015 You can't keep me safe from them. 161 00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:03,284 We're supposed to try. 162 00:06:03,284 --> 00:06:07,722 ♪♪ 163 00:06:07,722 --> 00:06:08,956 Why don't we take him to a motel, 164 00:06:08,956 --> 00:06:10,791 sit with him till he calms down? 165 00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,026 You sure? 166 00:06:12,026 --> 00:06:13,995 W-We don't even really know what's going on. 167 00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:16,931 Well, you said it yourself, it's a stupid case. 168 00:06:16,931 --> 00:06:20,234 ♪♪ 169 00:06:20,234 --> 00:06:22,536 You have nothing to worry about. 170 00:06:22,536 --> 00:06:25,072 I won't let you out of my sight. 171 00:06:25,072 --> 00:06:27,375 ♪♪ 172 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:28,909 I'm gonna run in for some beer real quick. 173 00:06:28,909 --> 00:06:30,344 You want anything? 174 00:06:30,344 --> 00:06:31,579 Could you please hurry?! 175 00:06:31,579 --> 00:06:33,581 Yeah, totally. I'll be right back. 176 00:06:33,581 --> 00:06:37,585 [ Mid-tempo music plays on radio ] 177 00:06:37,585 --> 00:06:39,987 [ Breathing heavily ] 178 00:06:39,987 --> 00:06:46,260 ♪♪ 179 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:48,396 [ Screams ] 180 00:06:48,396 --> 00:06:49,797 Should I get this ski mask? 181 00:06:49,797 --> 00:06:51,666 [ Panting ] Ah, you know what? 182 00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:54,268 I'm never gonna use this. 183 00:06:54,268 --> 00:06:57,271 [ Breathing heavily ] 184 00:06:57,271 --> 00:07:01,542 ♪♪ 185 00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:02,943 [ Screams ] 186 00:07:02,943 --> 00:07:05,279 Crazy sale on knives, dude! You want one?! 187 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:06,247 Aaah! 188 00:07:06,247 --> 00:07:08,015 I'm getting you one. 189 00:07:08,015 --> 00:07:10,418 [ Panting ] 190 00:07:10,418 --> 00:07:12,853 ♪♪ 191 00:07:12,853 --> 00:07:14,822 [ Whirring ] 192 00:07:14,822 --> 00:07:15,856 [ Screams ] 193 00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:18,426 Yo! They're doing free tank rides! 194 00:07:18,426 --> 00:07:20,294 You gotta try it! Aaaah! 195 00:07:20,294 --> 00:07:21,796 Shit. Right. The beer. 196 00:07:21,796 --> 00:07:25,666 [ Panting ] 197 00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:27,201 [ Knock on window ] 198 00:07:27,201 --> 00:07:29,770 [ Sighing ] Oh. 199 00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:31,205 Finally. 200 00:07:31,205 --> 00:07:32,873 Can we get out of here? 201 00:07:35,042 --> 00:07:38,913 ♪♪ 202 00:07:38,913 --> 00:07:40,247 All right! 203 00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:42,116 [ Groans ] 204 00:07:42,116 --> 00:07:43,751 Here we go! 205 00:07:43,751 --> 00:07:47,021 ♪♪ 206 00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:48,522 [ Sighs ] 207 00:07:48,522 --> 00:07:51,826 Ah, no need, dude. Beer's on me. 208 00:07:51,826 --> 00:07:53,461 [ Chuckles ] 209 00:07:55,496 --> 00:07:58,165 You're a Fudgsicle. 210 00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:01,068 You're a Creamsicle. You're a Bomb Pop. 211 00:08:01,068 --> 00:08:03,304 You're lactose intolerant. [ Children screaming ] 212 00:08:03,304 --> 00:08:05,606 Hey! Hey! 213 00:08:05,606 --> 00:08:09,844 A man died here! Have a little respect! 214 00:08:13,514 --> 00:08:15,383 I want answers! 215 00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:18,986 I found something. 216 00:08:19,787 --> 00:08:21,288 What the hell is that? 217 00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:22,790 It's like a dollar, but not. 218 00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:24,258 No, no, no. It's got too many colors. 219 00:08:24,258 --> 00:08:25,459 It's a Euro. 220 00:08:25,459 --> 00:08:27,762 Maybe fake money from a board game? 221 00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:29,930 Look at this seam of silver going through it. 222 00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:32,967 It's a Euro. It's money they use in Europe. 223 00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:35,102 Whatever it is, it scares the hell out of me. 224 00:08:35,102 --> 00:08:37,037 I can slip this to a contact I have at the Mint, 225 00:08:37,037 --> 00:08:39,807 off the record. So, we have a kid carrying 226 00:08:39,807 --> 00:08:42,410 some kind of spooky money in his pocket... 227 00:08:42,410 --> 00:08:43,778 [ Sternly ] A Euro. 228 00:08:43,778 --> 00:08:46,414 Someone needs to go undercover with this... 229 00:08:46,414 --> 00:08:48,082 SharkSpark Gaming team. 230 00:08:48,082 --> 00:08:49,250 I'll do it. 231 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,419 Mom, you've never played a video game in your life. 232 00:08:51,419 --> 00:08:53,454 I played Simon. That's not a video game! 233 00:08:53,454 --> 00:08:55,623 It had a battery. No, it needs to be me. 234 00:08:55,623 --> 00:08:56,891 Right, the one good thing 235 00:08:56,891 --> 00:08:58,626 about being abandoned at the age of two 236 00:08:58,626 --> 00:09:00,528 is that every foster home I was placed in 237 00:09:00,528 --> 00:09:02,363 had a different video game system. 238 00:09:02,363 --> 00:09:03,631 A.J.'s our man. 239 00:09:03,631 --> 00:09:05,966 No. No, no, no. It's too dangerous. 240 00:09:05,966 --> 00:09:07,435 I must've missed the meeting where you decide 241 00:09:07,435 --> 00:09:09,136 which missions I go on and which I don't! 242 00:09:09,136 --> 00:09:11,138 It was on the calendar. I am not saying this as your mother. 243 00:09:11,138 --> 00:09:14,041 I am saying this as somebody who has 30 years of experience! 244 00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:16,076 20 of which were behind bars, so -- Aah! 245 00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:17,678 You listen to me, you little punk -- 246 00:09:17,678 --> 00:09:20,281 Hey! Break it up! You stay out of this! 247 00:09:20,281 --> 00:09:23,217 Hey! Hands off the big man! 248 00:09:23,217 --> 00:09:26,220 Everybody's picking on Tribeca, and I don't like it! 249 00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:27,955 Break it up! 250 00:09:27,955 --> 00:09:29,323 Where's A.J.? 251 00:09:29,323 --> 00:09:33,928 ♪♪ 252 00:09:33,928 --> 00:09:35,429 What do you want, idiot? 253 00:09:35,429 --> 00:09:36,864 Heard you're down a couple gamers. 254 00:09:36,864 --> 00:09:38,666 Thanks, Google News Alert. 255 00:09:38,666 --> 00:09:40,167 What else you got for me? 256 00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:42,903 Well, just so happens I'm looking for a new team. 257 00:09:42,903 --> 00:09:45,439 Sorry, new phone. Who dis? 258 00:09:45,439 --> 00:09:48,042 Look, we both know gold coins are where it's at, bro. 259 00:09:48,042 --> 00:09:50,311 Just so happens, I just took second place 260 00:09:50,311 --> 00:09:52,546 at the Slovenian "Voyage Quest" Championships 261 00:09:52,546 --> 00:09:54,582 with over 10 million gold coins. 262 00:09:54,582 --> 00:09:57,051 Slovenia? That's hardcore. 263 00:09:57,051 --> 00:10:00,554 BaguetteBardot1-800-555-1212 won that, didn't she? 264 00:10:00,554 --> 00:10:02,723 You don't beat BaguetteBardot. 265 00:10:02,723 --> 00:10:06,060 Not on her worst day. Come on in. 266 00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:10,464 ♪♪ 267 00:10:10,464 --> 00:10:11,699 [ Video game sound effects playing ] 268 00:10:11,699 --> 00:10:14,568 Have a seat, grab a headset. 269 00:10:14,568 --> 00:10:16,437 You can show us what you got. 270 00:10:16,437 --> 00:10:18,305 ♪♪ 271 00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:19,874 Oh. 272 00:10:21,408 --> 00:10:23,811 You want a little something to get your engine running 273 00:10:23,811 --> 00:10:25,513 before I check you out? 274 00:10:25,513 --> 00:10:26,814 Uh... 275 00:10:26,814 --> 00:10:29,116 I don't recognize that brand. 276 00:10:29,116 --> 00:10:32,219 That's 'cause it's illegal, bitch. 277 00:10:32,219 --> 00:10:34,922 It's strawberry lemonade mixed with horse adrenalin. 278 00:10:34,922 --> 00:10:36,423 They used to give it to the NASA monkeys 279 00:10:36,423 --> 00:10:37,858 to keep them awake in space. 280 00:10:37,858 --> 00:10:39,527 Well, sure, I'll try it. 281 00:10:39,527 --> 00:10:42,029 [ Chuckles ] 282 00:10:42,029 --> 00:10:43,264 [ Grunts ] 283 00:10:45,332 --> 00:10:53,607 ♪♪ 284 00:10:53,607 --> 00:10:55,242 Whoo! 285 00:10:55,242 --> 00:11:00,548 ♪♪ 286 00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:02,716 [ Distorted voices ] 287 00:11:02,716 --> 00:11:04,585 [ Chuckles ] 288 00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:07,254 ♪♪ 289 00:11:07,254 --> 00:11:09,857 Okay, so, all you gotta do is craft a spear, 290 00:11:09,857 --> 00:11:12,660 kill a Lesser Nerblet, and raid his hut for the coins. 291 00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,461 That sounds easy! 292 00:11:14,461 --> 00:11:17,097 Yeah. Right. 293 00:11:17,097 --> 00:11:18,465 Huh? Huh? 294 00:11:18,465 --> 00:11:19,667 Now do it. 295 00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,702 Well, why stop there? 296 00:11:23,304 --> 00:11:25,239 Tie my hands. 297 00:11:25,239 --> 00:11:27,675 ♪♪ 298 00:11:27,675 --> 00:11:30,211 And...go. 299 00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:32,546 [ Chiming ] 300 00:11:32,546 --> 00:11:34,582 My hut! My coins! 301 00:11:34,582 --> 00:11:37,051 ♪♪ 302 00:11:37,051 --> 00:11:37,952 Done! 303 00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:40,387 You can have Ozzy's room. 304 00:11:40,387 --> 00:11:42,690 [ Sighs ] 305 00:11:44,925 --> 00:11:46,527 Whoo. 306 00:11:46,527 --> 00:11:50,731 ♪♪ 307 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,902 [ Sighs ] 308 00:11:54,902 --> 00:11:56,370 We haven't seen Ozzy for a couple days, 309 00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:57,972 so I guess all this stuff is yours now. 310 00:11:57,972 --> 00:11:59,406 Hey, man, is that the bathroom? 311 00:11:59,406 --> 00:12:01,008 'Cause this horse adrenaline is going right through me. 312 00:12:01,008 --> 00:12:02,376 Yeah, don't freak out 313 00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:04,912 if you fill up the whole bowl, okay? 314 00:12:04,912 --> 00:12:06,513 Welcome to SharkSpark. 315 00:12:06,513 --> 00:12:08,115 [ Chuckles ] 316 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:12,553 [ Water running ] 317 00:12:12,553 --> 00:12:13,754 Hello? 318 00:12:13,754 --> 00:12:17,424 ♪♪ 319 00:12:17,424 --> 00:12:18,993 You got a bad washer in here. 320 00:12:18,993 --> 00:12:20,394 I should have one in my truck. 321 00:12:20,394 --> 00:12:21,996 Okay. Thanks. 322 00:12:24,098 --> 00:12:27,167 ♪♪ 323 00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:29,970 So, you're the new number one around here? 324 00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:31,372 Looks that way. Hmm. 325 00:12:31,372 --> 00:12:34,708 Being number one comes with certain...perks. 326 00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:35,909 And what are those? 327 00:12:35,909 --> 00:12:37,444 Full medical, dental, 328 00:12:37,444 --> 00:12:38,879 and optical coverage, 329 00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:41,782 including one pair of free glasses per year. 330 00:12:41,782 --> 00:12:44,051 Ooh. Designer brands included? 331 00:12:44,051 --> 00:12:45,185 Oh, yes. 332 00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:47,588 Sounds like I'm gonna be well taken care of. 333 00:12:47,588 --> 00:12:49,123 Oh, I almost forgot. 334 00:12:49,123 --> 00:12:51,392 You get a free team shirt. 335 00:12:52,993 --> 00:12:54,461 Do I get the team bra? 336 00:12:54,461 --> 00:12:57,431 Let's see how good of a player you are. 337 00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:59,900 ♪♪ 338 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,435 Becky: Oh, my God. 339 00:13:01,435 --> 00:13:02,870 Oh, my God! 340 00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:04,805 You're amazing! 341 00:13:04,805 --> 00:13:06,106 You wanna give it a shot? 342 00:13:06,106 --> 00:13:07,808 No, I don't understand these games. 343 00:13:07,808 --> 00:13:09,043 I just like to watch. 344 00:13:09,043 --> 00:13:10,477 Ooh, grab the coins. Grab the coins! 345 00:13:10,477 --> 00:13:12,179 What is it with you people and the coins? 346 00:13:12,179 --> 00:13:16,083 That's not how you win! God, this mattress sucks! 347 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,151 This... 348 00:13:20,721 --> 00:13:22,756 What the hell? 349 00:13:22,756 --> 00:13:23,791 [ Grunts ] Aah! 350 00:13:23,791 --> 00:13:26,226 [ Body thuds ] 351 00:13:26,226 --> 00:13:27,861 Ah! 352 00:13:27,861 --> 00:13:29,029 [ Breathing heavily ] 353 00:13:29,029 --> 00:13:30,431 Please don't kill me! 354 00:13:30,431 --> 00:13:32,166 What is it with you people and getting killed?! 355 00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:34,635 He's crazy! He'll stop at nothing! 356 00:13:34,635 --> 00:13:36,103 Who? You don't understand. 357 00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:37,604 This is so much bigger than -- 358 00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:38,872 No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait. 359 00:13:38,872 --> 00:13:40,941 Don't start that. Just let me think. 360 00:13:40,941 --> 00:13:43,310 Gold coins. Everybody wants gold coins. 361 00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:47,981 And this kid somehow's got piles of fake money. 362 00:13:47,981 --> 00:13:49,349 I-It's gotta be connected! 363 00:13:49,349 --> 00:13:50,684 It is connected! I can tell you -- 364 00:13:50,684 --> 00:13:52,019 Would you shut up for a second? 365 00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:54,088 I'm trying to piece this thing together. 366 00:13:54,088 --> 00:13:56,990 What if it isn't fake money? 367 00:13:56,990 --> 00:13:59,159 Wait, what if it's real money and the coins are -- 368 00:13:59,159 --> 00:14:00,494 He's laundering money through the ga-- 369 00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:03,864 Can you just be quiet for five seconds?! 370 00:14:03,864 --> 00:14:05,933 Okay, so, you got fake money going in, 371 00:14:05,933 --> 00:14:07,134 real money coming back. 372 00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:09,536 Ooh! It's laundering! Of course! 373 00:14:09,536 --> 00:14:12,172 BoneDevil, he -- he doesn't want to collect coins, 374 00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:14,475 so he's useless, so Ozzy takes him out, 375 00:14:14,475 --> 00:14:16,844 but Ozzy's got a big mouth, so they take Ozzy out. 376 00:14:16,844 --> 00:14:19,480 Ozzy's dead?! Can you just shush?! 377 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,981 You need to protect me! 378 00:14:20,981 --> 00:14:22,516 'Cause if he thinks I talked, he's -- 379 00:14:22,516 --> 00:14:25,219 Look, I am definitely good at protecting people. 380 00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:27,154 You don't need to worry about that. 381 00:14:27,154 --> 00:14:30,090 But I need to meet this big guy who's running everything. 382 00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:31,458 Absolutely not! No way! 383 00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:34,261 Come on! There's no way I can finish it. 384 00:14:34,261 --> 00:14:37,397 It's an international money-laundering scheme. 385 00:14:37,397 --> 00:14:39,566 The money changes hands through the gold coins 386 00:14:39,566 --> 00:14:41,001 in "Voyage Quest." 387 00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:43,670 Oh, and those weird paper rectangles we found, 388 00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:45,873 they're called Euros. 389 00:14:45,873 --> 00:14:47,541 This is from my buddy at the Mint. 390 00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:48,942 They're called Euros. 391 00:14:48,942 --> 00:14:50,377 [ Glass shatters ] 392 00:14:50,377 --> 00:14:52,379 Oh, and Becky, who was BoneDevil's girlfriend, 393 00:14:52,379 --> 00:14:54,148 but is now my girlfriend -- I'll get to that in a second -- 394 00:14:54,148 --> 00:14:55,582 she's gonna arrange a meet-up with the head 395 00:14:55,582 --> 00:14:57,351 of the whole operation. Tribeca: That's great. 396 00:14:57,351 --> 00:14:59,052 We'll go in as a team, fully armed -- 397 00:14:59,052 --> 00:15:01,421 No, no, no, no. It has to be only me. 398 00:15:01,421 --> 00:15:02,923 No, we -- 399 00:15:02,923 --> 00:15:05,492 All right, just don't let your guard down 400 00:15:05,492 --> 00:15:07,995 because some floozy let you jiggle her love button. 401 00:15:07,995 --> 00:15:10,097 You can't push someone else's button in this game. 402 00:15:10,097 --> 00:15:11,298 You can in Simon. 403 00:15:11,298 --> 00:15:13,167 All right, everybody. Just stop. 404 00:15:14,902 --> 00:15:16,670 All right, A.J. It's all you. 405 00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:17,871 Yeah! 406 00:15:17,871 --> 00:15:21,275 ♪♪ 407 00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:26,980 ♪♪ 408 00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,516 [ French accent ] Come in, come in. 409 00:15:29,516 --> 00:15:33,487 Pay no attention to... the rainbow! 410 00:15:33,487 --> 00:15:34,755 [ Sighs ] 411 00:15:34,755 --> 00:15:37,658 So beautiful, don't you think? 412 00:15:37,658 --> 00:15:41,128 Fireball! 413 00:15:41,128 --> 00:15:43,997 Bienvenue, welcome. 414 00:15:43,997 --> 00:15:48,268 My name... is Pierre Cardin. 415 00:15:48,268 --> 00:15:51,038 And I hear that you are the new Chef des Jeux Vidéos. 416 00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:52,406 Uh, uh, yeah, I guess. 417 00:15:52,406 --> 00:15:53,941 I mean, some people think I'm pretty good. 418 00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:55,809 [ Laughs ] 419 00:15:55,809 --> 00:15:57,110 "Pretty good"? 420 00:15:57,110 --> 00:15:58,946 Pretty good, mon Dieu! 421 00:15:58,946 --> 00:16:01,081 But you delight me with your modesty. 422 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:03,250 He's actually one of the best I've ever seen. 423 00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,651 Hmm. 424 00:16:04,651 --> 00:16:07,921 You know, people love to throw around this word "best" -- 425 00:16:07,921 --> 00:16:09,790 Best Buy, 426 00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:11,592 Seattle's Best Coffee, 427 00:16:11,592 --> 00:16:13,527 This Country's Best Yogurt. 428 00:16:13,527 --> 00:16:15,295 But these are just words, no? 429 00:16:15,295 --> 00:16:17,564 Would you be willing to, say... 430 00:16:17,564 --> 00:16:21,935 stake your life on the fact that you are the best? 431 00:16:23,737 --> 00:16:25,205 I-I'm not sure I follow. 432 00:16:25,205 --> 00:16:27,507 This is the latest in VR gaming. 433 00:16:27,507 --> 00:16:30,477 You will be completely, totally immersed 434 00:16:30,477 --> 00:16:33,747 in the virtual landscape of "Voyage Quest." 435 00:16:33,747 --> 00:16:36,483 You will not only see and hear everything around you, 436 00:16:36,483 --> 00:16:41,822 but this is also what we call total biological simulation, 437 00:16:41,822 --> 00:16:43,390 or total BS. 438 00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:45,659 Wouldn't that be TBS? [ Chuckles ] 439 00:16:45,659 --> 00:16:47,294 Very funny. 440 00:16:47,294 --> 00:16:49,029 What I mean to say is, 441 00:16:49,029 --> 00:16:54,034 that this game will connect to your central nervous system. 442 00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:57,104 Whatever the avatar experiences in the game, 443 00:16:57,104 --> 00:17:00,374 the game player will experience, as well. 444 00:17:00,374 --> 00:17:06,280 If, for example, your avatar were to...die, 445 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,917 the human controller will die, as well. 446 00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:12,552 ♪♪ 447 00:17:12,552 --> 00:17:14,021 [ Coughs ] Mom? 448 00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:16,690 Jesus Christ. A.J., get out of there! 449 00:17:18,592 --> 00:17:20,627 All right. 450 00:17:20,627 --> 00:17:22,262 Let's give this a whirl. 451 00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:24,097 Now, how -- how exactly do you make this -- 452 00:17:24,097 --> 00:17:26,066 [ Whirring ] Aah! [ Groans ] 453 00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:29,569 The game is now connected to your spinal cord. 454 00:17:29,569 --> 00:17:31,538 How -- Oh. 455 00:17:31,538 --> 00:17:32,773 Okay. 456 00:17:32,773 --> 00:17:34,942 Uh... [ Beeping ] 457 00:17:34,942 --> 00:17:38,478 Okay, so, you got tennis, Ping-Pong... 458 00:17:38,478 --> 00:17:40,480 Keep scrolling down. 459 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,182 "Voyage Quest." 460 00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:44,952 Now hit the virtual "start" button. 461 00:17:44,952 --> 00:17:46,253 Uh, okay. 462 00:17:46,253 --> 00:17:47,888 [ Fanfare ] 463 00:17:47,888 --> 00:17:49,289 I'm in! 464 00:17:49,289 --> 00:17:51,959 Wow! 465 00:17:51,959 --> 00:17:54,361 It's so real. 466 00:17:54,361 --> 00:17:56,129 I-I-I can -- I can feel the breeze through my -- 467 00:17:56,129 --> 00:17:58,832 [ Thuds ] Aah! Ow! 468 00:17:58,832 --> 00:18:01,301 ♪♪ 469 00:18:01,301 --> 00:18:03,737 Becky, what the hell?! 470 00:18:03,737 --> 00:18:10,744 ♪♪ 471 00:18:10,744 --> 00:18:17,417 ♪♪ 472 00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:21,254 BaguetteBardot? The world's best gamer. 473 00:18:21,254 --> 00:18:22,856 [ French accent ] Enchanté. 474 00:18:22,856 --> 00:18:25,258 Cardin: Obviously, the only way for me to actually know 475 00:18:25,258 --> 00:18:29,596 if you are the best is for you to play my champion. 476 00:18:29,596 --> 00:18:32,899 So, the rules will be as follows -- 477 00:18:32,899 --> 00:18:38,538 If Baguette wins, well...you die. 478 00:18:38,538 --> 00:18:42,976 But if you win, I will allow you to arrest me 479 00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:46,747 for money laundering and international espionage, 480 00:18:46,747 --> 00:18:49,649 Angela Geils Jr. 481 00:18:49,649 --> 00:18:51,018 [ Gasps ] 482 00:18:51,018 --> 00:18:52,819 He's made. He's made! 483 00:18:52,819 --> 00:18:54,121 I don't like this! 484 00:18:54,121 --> 00:18:56,256 We wasted an entire half-sandwich! 485 00:18:56,256 --> 00:18:57,557 Scholls, you have to hack into the game! 486 00:18:57,557 --> 00:18:58,859 You have to get him out of there! 487 00:18:58,859 --> 00:19:02,729 ♪♪ 488 00:19:02,729 --> 00:19:04,831 It's... 489 00:19:04,831 --> 00:19:06,933 beautiful. 490 00:19:06,933 --> 00:19:08,602 ♪♪ 491 00:19:08,602 --> 00:19:10,737 [ Whirring ] 492 00:19:10,737 --> 00:19:13,674 [ Beeping ] 493 00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:18,545 ♪♪ 494 00:19:18,545 --> 00:19:20,580 Space Needle! 495 00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:22,783 Troll Blanket! 496 00:19:22,783 --> 00:19:24,184 Cornish Game Hen. 497 00:19:24,184 --> 00:19:25,485 Leg of Lamb! 498 00:19:25,485 --> 00:19:27,554 Grease Pencil! [ Grunts ] 499 00:19:27,554 --> 00:19:29,856 [ Groans ] 500 00:19:29,856 --> 00:19:31,858 Banana Peel! [ Grunts ] 501 00:19:31,858 --> 00:19:33,226 Ice Mushroom! 502 00:19:33,226 --> 00:19:34,194 Vapor Shield! 503 00:19:34,194 --> 00:19:35,195 Fire Rain! 504 00:19:35,195 --> 00:19:36,763 Globe of Conservation! 505 00:19:36,763 --> 00:19:38,165 Horn of Plenty! 506 00:19:38,165 --> 00:19:39,332 [ Horn sounds ] 507 00:19:39,332 --> 00:19:40,834 Technicolor Dreamcoat! 508 00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:41,935 Aah! Elf Leg! 509 00:19:41,935 --> 00:19:43,136 Aaaah! 510 00:19:43,136 --> 00:19:45,305 Elf Leg! No! 511 00:19:45,305 --> 00:19:48,141 Elf Leg! Noooooo! 512 00:19:48,141 --> 00:19:50,811 Dagger of Espadrille! 513 00:19:50,811 --> 00:19:53,747 Au revoir, Monsieur Geils! 514 00:19:53,747 --> 00:19:55,248 Au revoir! 515 00:19:55,248 --> 00:19:56,616 Nooooo! 516 00:19:56,616 --> 00:19:57,551 [ Groans ] 517 00:19:57,551 --> 00:20:01,121 Simon says... "You're dead." 518 00:20:01,121 --> 00:20:05,158 ♪♪ 519 00:20:05,158 --> 00:20:06,860 No. 520 00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:13,133 ♪♪ 521 00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:14,801 You son of a... 522 00:20:14,801 --> 00:20:21,308 ♪♪ 523 00:20:21,308 --> 00:20:22,876 [ Beep ] Cardin's in the wind. 524 00:20:22,876 --> 00:20:24,211 Cardin's in the wind! 525 00:20:24,211 --> 00:20:26,379 Don't sweat it. We'll pick you up in 20. 526 00:20:26,379 --> 00:20:28,048 Cardin will get his. 527 00:20:28,048 --> 00:20:29,750 [ Beep ] Roger that. 528 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:37,157 ♪♪ 529 00:20:37,157 --> 00:20:38,859 [ Whirring ] 530 00:20:38,859 --> 00:20:40,227 [ Sighs ] 531 00:20:40,227 --> 00:20:42,696 [ Beeps ] 532 00:20:42,696 --> 00:20:43,763 [ Whirring ] 533 00:20:43,763 --> 00:20:45,298 Ooh. 534 00:20:45,298 --> 00:20:47,033 [ Chuckles ] 535 00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:51,238 This feels like a real Hula-Hoop! 536 00:20:55,041 --> 00:21:02,149 ♪♪ 537 00:21:02,149 --> 00:21:09,422 ♪♪ 36540

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