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1
00:00:00,455 --> 00:00:05,727
♪♪
2
00:00:05,727 --> 00:00:07,262
Clef: ♪ Oh, my darling ♪
3
00:00:07,262 --> 00:00:08,930
♪ Oh, my darling ♪
4
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:13,101
♪ Oh, my darling, Clementine ♪
5
00:00:13,101 --> 00:00:15,670
♪ You are lost and gone for-- ♪
6
00:00:17,505 --> 00:00:25,346
♪♪
7
00:00:25,346 --> 00:00:28,416
[ Engine revs ]
8
00:00:43,731 --> 00:00:46,734
These armadillos are getting
to be a goddamn menace.
9
00:00:46,734 --> 00:00:51,339
Why don't they just build cars
out of armadillo skin?
10
00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:52,707
Well, shit, Larry.
11
00:00:52,707 --> 00:00:55,276
That's a million-dollar idea
you got there.
12
00:00:55,276 --> 00:00:59,314
It'd be a real shame
if someone...stole it from ya.
13
00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:03,117
Someone's coming.
14
00:01:03,117 --> 00:01:11,626
♪♪
15
00:01:11,626 --> 00:01:19,934
♪♪
16
00:01:19,934 --> 00:01:28,209
♪♪
17
00:01:28,209 --> 00:01:36,718
♪♪
18
00:01:36,718 --> 00:01:45,026
♪♪
19
00:01:45,026 --> 00:01:54,335
♪♪
20
00:01:54,335 --> 00:01:56,704
[ Clears throat ]
21
00:01:56,704 --> 00:02:01,709
♪♪
22
00:02:01,709 --> 00:02:04,178
Afternoon, boys.
23
00:02:04,178 --> 00:02:05,646
I appreciate your service,
24
00:02:05,646 --> 00:02:09,384
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to take it from here.
25
00:02:12,453 --> 00:02:14,422
Fine by us.
26
00:02:14,422 --> 00:02:16,157
I said, I'm gonna
take it from here!
27
00:02:16,157 --> 00:02:17,759
[ Electricity zaps ]
28
00:02:17,759 --> 00:02:19,927
♪♪
29
00:02:19,927 --> 00:02:21,696
[ Gunshot fires ]
30
00:02:21,696 --> 00:02:24,265
♪♪
31
00:02:24,265 --> 00:02:26,334
I've recently been handed
a rather bleak diagnosis
32
00:02:26,334 --> 00:02:28,469
and may not have much
longer on this earth,
33
00:02:28,469 --> 00:02:33,274
so I thought to myself, what a
perfect time to adopt a baby.
34
00:02:35,276 --> 00:02:37,445
What's going on here?
35
00:02:37,445 --> 00:02:39,947
What is
the Special Division Force?
36
00:02:39,947 --> 00:02:42,650
I told you,
we take on cases --
37
00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:44,519
I know what the official
explanation is,
38
00:02:44,519 --> 00:02:46,654
but I want to know
what we're really doing.
39
00:02:46,654 --> 00:02:49,290
Right now,
our only job is to follow
40
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:51,092
the orders
of the Vice President.
41
00:02:51,092 --> 00:02:52,660
Vice President Perry?
42
00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,695
The man who not only
threw me into jail
43
00:02:54,695 --> 00:02:57,198
but whose administration
has been plagued by scandal
44
00:02:57,198 --> 00:02:58,299
since he was elected?
45
00:02:58,299 --> 00:02:59,834
He's no
John Nance Garner,
46
00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:02,036
but he's the only
Vice President we've got!
47
00:03:02,036 --> 00:03:03,571
John Nance Garner?
48
00:03:03,571 --> 00:03:06,574
He's barely
Schuyler Colfax.
49
00:03:06,574 --> 00:03:12,313
Sir, how do we know
if we're even the good guys?
50
00:03:12,313 --> 00:03:15,716
Tribeca,
look me in the eye.
51
00:03:18,853 --> 00:03:21,589
We are the good guys.
52
00:03:21,589 --> 00:03:23,825
I stole the dead teacher
from the cops.
53
00:03:23,825 --> 00:03:25,293
Now what?
54
00:03:31,766 --> 00:03:33,868
His name is Charlie Clef.
55
00:03:33,868 --> 00:03:35,369
Come on, Hoffman.
Sorry, Murphy.
56
00:03:35,369 --> 00:03:37,238
Above your pay grade.
57
00:03:37,238 --> 00:03:39,006
He was a beloved
computer science teacher
58
00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:43,244
at Freddie Prinze Junior Senior
High School in Amarillo, Texas.
59
00:03:43,244 --> 00:03:44,879
He was also the most
prolific distributor
60
00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:48,149
of malware and computer exploits
in the Northern Hemisphere.
61
00:03:48,149 --> 00:03:50,284
His clients included
terrorist organizations,
62
00:03:50,284 --> 00:03:51,652
hostile
foreign governments,
63
00:03:51,652 --> 00:03:53,588
and people who want
to see celebrities naked.
64
00:03:53,588 --> 00:03:55,590
So now he's dead.
End of story, right?
65
00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:57,859
Wrong.
Beginning of story.
66
00:03:57,859 --> 00:04:00,061
Clef had just put
the finishing touches
67
00:04:00,061 --> 00:04:02,663
on a particularly
damaging computer virus.
68
00:04:02,663 --> 00:04:05,032
The kind of thing that
shuts down power grids
69
00:04:05,032 --> 00:04:08,002
and publishes
your browsing history.
70
00:04:08,002 --> 00:04:10,171
So now he's dead.
End of story, right?
71
00:04:10,171 --> 00:04:11,239
Wrong!
72
00:04:11,239 --> 00:04:13,307
Middle of story!
73
00:04:13,307 --> 00:04:16,310
His death provides us
with a unique opportunity
74
00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:19,680
to take his place and flush out
a high-profile buyer
75
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,616
who recently
expressed interest in --
76
00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:22,884
what was the name
of the virus?
77
00:04:22,884 --> 00:04:24,118
LamarModem.
78
00:04:24,118 --> 00:04:26,354
Tribeca will impersonate Clef
79
00:04:26,354 --> 00:04:27,955
and try to make contact
with the buyer
80
00:04:27,955 --> 00:04:30,892
while the rest of us infiltrate
the high school genre
81
00:04:30,892 --> 00:04:32,093
in supporting roles.
82
00:04:32,093 --> 00:04:33,494
I have one question.
83
00:04:33,494 --> 00:04:34,428
One sec.
84
00:04:34,428 --> 00:04:35,696
Any questions?
Uh, yes.
85
00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:37,198
Will you be taking
questions?
86
00:04:37,198 --> 00:04:38,466
At the end.
Anything else?
87
00:04:38,466 --> 00:04:40,334
Is Vice President Perry
a crook?
88
00:04:40,334 --> 00:04:42,803
I am warning you, Tribeca!
89
00:04:42,803 --> 00:04:45,673
Now get to Prosthetics
for your disguise fitting!
90
00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:47,108
Yes, sir.
91
00:04:49,076 --> 00:04:51,045
Hey. What the hell
is with you?
92
00:04:51,045 --> 00:04:52,413
Don't talk to me
like that.
93
00:04:52,413 --> 00:04:53,948
I didn't raise you
to be disrespectful.
94
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:55,316
You didn't raise me
at all.
95
00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:56,584
So it didn't
come from me.
96
00:04:56,584 --> 00:04:58,820
Look, I-I read
your autobiography, okay?
97
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,721
I know that you're
a lone wolf that --
98
00:05:00,721 --> 00:05:02,323
that doesn't trust
the system,
99
00:05:02,323 --> 00:05:03,658
but I care about
what we're doing,
100
00:05:03,658 --> 00:05:05,359
and I expect you
to care about it, too.
101
00:05:05,359 --> 00:05:06,861
Maybe I'll care
if I can figure out
102
00:05:06,861 --> 00:05:08,563
if we're actually fighting
for the right side.
103
00:05:08,563 --> 00:05:09,830
Oh, okay, well,
that's just great.
104
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:11,199
Well, you know what?
105
00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:12,466
Besides my birth,
this is the first thing you
106
00:05:12,466 --> 00:05:13,935
and I have done
as mother and son.
107
00:05:13,935 --> 00:05:16,971
And if that's not enough for you
to care about this,
108
00:05:16,971 --> 00:05:19,106
then I guess
it's high time
109
00:05:19,106 --> 00:05:20,374
I pick up
a few bad habits
110
00:05:20,374 --> 00:05:23,311
and fall in
with the wrong crowd.
111
00:05:23,311 --> 00:05:26,747
[ Skateboard wheels whir ]
112
00:05:32,486 --> 00:05:36,057
[ Fast-paced piano music
playing ]
113
00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:41,696
♪♪
114
00:05:44,232 --> 00:05:45,733
Let's do this.
115
00:05:47,535 --> 00:05:50,238
You were born Charles
John Jacob Jingleheimer Clef
116
00:05:50,238 --> 00:05:53,808
in Plano, Texas,
on December 12, 1961.
117
00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:56,043
As an only child, you craved
your parents' approval,
118
00:05:56,043 --> 00:05:59,413
and as an adult, you seek that
approval from your students.
119
00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:01,349
Your intellectual
proclivities unfulfilled
120
00:06:01,349 --> 00:06:04,285
by the banal environment
of secondary education,
121
00:06:04,285 --> 00:06:05,620
you turned to the more
challenging world
122
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,189
of malevolent
software programming.
123
00:06:08,189 --> 00:06:10,958
Favorite food -- pizza.
124
00:06:10,958 --> 00:06:12,727
Let's see what we got.
125
00:06:16,697 --> 00:06:18,599
Perfect.
Wow.
126
00:06:18,599 --> 00:06:20,468
This is going to take
some getting used to.
127
00:06:20,468 --> 00:06:23,304
Now, remember, kids are
very different nowadays.
128
00:06:23,304 --> 00:06:25,873
They're very confident,
they're sex-positive,
129
00:06:25,873 --> 00:06:27,408
they're body-positive.
130
00:06:27,408 --> 00:06:29,644
And some of them have
unwarranted high self-esteem.
131
00:06:29,644 --> 00:06:31,912
If it's so unwarranted,
why am I so great?
132
00:06:31,912 --> 00:06:35,383
Good luck, Tribeca.
133
00:06:35,383 --> 00:06:36,617
Or should I say...?
134
00:06:36,617 --> 00:06:38,185
Mr. Clef?
135
00:06:38,185 --> 00:06:39,420
Yes, Delroy?
136
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,822
I can't get
my subroutine to run.
137
00:06:41,822 --> 00:06:44,492
Looks like there's
a parsing error in line 19.
138
00:06:44,492 --> 00:06:47,461
What's the error?
Well,
if I told you that...
139
00:06:47,461 --> 00:06:49,130
You wouldn't be teaching,
you'd be telling.
I wouldn't be teaching, I'd be telling.
140
00:06:49,130 --> 00:06:51,399
That's right.
[ Bell rings ]
141
00:06:51,399 --> 00:06:54,535
All right, everybody,
websites are due Friday.
142
00:06:54,535 --> 00:06:58,039
Mr. C., can I --
No, Tommy,
you cannot have an extension.
143
00:06:58,039 --> 00:07:00,174
You're the best, Mr. C.
144
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:05,246
Charo, Scholls,
you're geniuses.
145
00:07:05,246 --> 00:07:07,815
This is going to be
a piece of cake.
146
00:07:09,717 --> 00:07:11,052
I knew it.
147
00:07:11,052 --> 00:07:13,621
Come on, Mr. Clef, we're gonna
be late for practice.
148
00:07:13,621 --> 00:07:14,789
What practice?
149
00:07:14,789 --> 00:07:16,791
[ Laughs ]
150
00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,759
You're so funny, Mr. C.
151
00:07:18,759 --> 00:07:20,194
Glee Club practice.
152
00:07:20,194 --> 00:07:23,064
You're the coach.
153
00:07:23,064 --> 00:07:26,167
[ Laughs ]
154
00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:27,868
We've got a problem.
155
00:07:27,868 --> 00:07:28,903
[ Bell rings ]
156
00:07:31,872 --> 00:07:33,407
Man: It's a beautiful day
for football practice
157
00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:36,277
as the Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High squad
158
00:07:36,277 --> 00:07:39,246
runs their plays
against a mock defense.
159
00:07:39,246 --> 00:07:41,148
But the team's
in some hot water this week
160
00:07:41,148 --> 00:07:43,684
after a local paper
ran an editorial
161
00:07:43,684 --> 00:07:45,152
suggesting
that their team name
162
00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:47,221
was offensive
to Native Americans.
163
00:07:47,221 --> 00:07:49,490
I don't know how they got there
from Drunken Injuns,
164
00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:51,225
but, hey, I'm just
a football fan.
165
00:07:51,225 --> 00:07:52,326
[ Whistle blows ]
166
00:07:52,326 --> 00:07:55,930
No! Jesus!
167
00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:59,333
Eleven,
get your ass over here!
168
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,534
[ Spits ]
169
00:08:00,534 --> 00:08:01,802
It's a simple read option!
170
00:08:01,802 --> 00:08:03,270
You look for the hole!
171
00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,973
If it's not there, you pitch
to the running back!
172
00:08:05,973 --> 00:08:07,408
Durphy
wasn't in position --
173
00:08:07,408 --> 00:08:08,542
I don't want to hear
about Durphy!
174
00:08:08,542 --> 00:08:09,877
His parents
are divorcing!
175
00:08:09,877 --> 00:08:12,713
He may be a step
behind for a while!
176
00:08:15,049 --> 00:08:18,018
Your dad cheated on your mom,
so she's kicking him out.
177
00:08:18,018 --> 00:08:21,122
But that's not your fault,
so don't take that on.
178
00:08:21,122 --> 00:08:22,356
Thanks, Coach.
179
00:08:22,356 --> 00:08:24,725
Hit the showers, buddy.
180
00:08:24,725 --> 00:08:27,094
[ Whistle blows ]
Now run it again!
181
00:08:27,094 --> 00:08:30,064
This time with your head
on the outside of your ass!
182
00:08:30,064 --> 00:08:32,566
Yes, sir.
183
00:08:32,566 --> 00:08:34,602
[ Cellphone rings ]
This is Coach.
184
00:08:34,602 --> 00:08:36,070
Oh, hey, Coach.
185
00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:37,138
It's Mr. Clef,
186
00:08:37,138 --> 00:08:39,273
who, when he's not busy
selling malware,
187
00:08:39,273 --> 00:08:42,643
apparently runs the Glee Club.
188
00:08:42,643 --> 00:08:43,811
Damn it!
189
00:08:43,811 --> 00:08:45,079
How did we not
see that coming?
190
00:08:45,079 --> 00:08:46,881
I don't know,
but I did not study up
191
00:08:46,881 --> 00:08:48,416
on anything
but computer science.
192
00:08:48,416 --> 00:08:51,519
I don't know anything about
F sharps and G minuses.
193
00:08:51,519 --> 00:08:53,020
Look, Tribeca,
we are here
194
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:54,955
to stop the spread
of computer viruses,
195
00:08:54,955 --> 00:08:58,092
so you just hang on until you
get contacted by the buyer.
196
00:08:58,092 --> 00:09:01,195
And then we will tell the kids
their teacher is dead
197
00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:03,297
and we will get
the hell out of here.
198
00:09:03,297 --> 00:09:05,433
Fine.
199
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:07,201
All right, everyone.
200
00:09:07,201 --> 00:09:11,172
Well, obviously I know your
names, but maybe just for fun,
201
00:09:11,172 --> 00:09:12,840
you guys can sing your name
202
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,510
and then the thing you're gonna
overcome before the big concert.
203
00:09:16,510 --> 00:09:18,512
[ Off-key ]
♪ I'm Maria ♪
204
00:09:18,512 --> 00:09:20,748
♪ Pills and depression ♪
205
00:09:20,748 --> 00:09:23,184
♪ I eat my own hair ♪
206
00:09:23,184 --> 00:09:24,819
♪ My uncle makes me -- ♪
207
00:09:24,819 --> 00:09:27,788
Okay, all right. Next.
[ Off-key ] ♪ I'm Pradeep ♪
208
00:09:27,788 --> 00:09:30,825
♪ Arranged marriage to
a girl that I do not love ♪
209
00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:32,593
Peter: ♪ I'm Peter ♪
210
00:09:32,593 --> 00:09:35,796
♪ And there's a [bleep]
in my locker ♪
211
00:09:35,796 --> 00:09:40,935
♪ I'm Grace and I'm pregnant
with Pradeep's baby ♪
212
00:09:40,935 --> 00:09:42,970
We don't need to
hear from everyone.
213
00:09:42,970 --> 00:09:45,172
All right,
so, should we, uh,
214
00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:47,842
pick it up from where we
left off last practice?
215
00:09:47,842 --> 00:09:50,311
Last practice you said
that you were going to write
216
00:09:50,311 --> 00:09:51,445
a brand-new song
for us to try.
217
00:09:51,445 --> 00:09:53,347
I did.
I did.
218
00:09:53,347 --> 00:09:56,217
Okay.
Um, and yes, here it is.
219
00:09:56,217 --> 00:09:57,985
I hope that you like it.
220
00:09:57,985 --> 00:10:00,654
[ Clears throat ]
221
00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:05,259
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
222
00:10:05,259 --> 00:10:08,729
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
223
00:10:08,729 --> 00:10:12,700
♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪
224
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:18,072
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
225
00:10:18,072 --> 00:10:19,306
Oh, my God.
226
00:10:19,306 --> 00:10:21,075
I love it.
227
00:10:21,075 --> 00:10:22,009
All right, great.
228
00:10:22,009 --> 00:10:23,711
All right,
should we try it?
229
00:10:23,711 --> 00:10:27,448
Okay.
And a one and a two and a --
230
00:10:27,448 --> 00:10:31,218
[ All singing off-key ]
231
00:10:34,722 --> 00:10:36,457
My water just broke!
232
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:40,928
[ Bell rings ]
No, sir, I have not heard
from the buyer yet,
233
00:10:40,928 --> 00:10:42,763
but I did listen
to the worst singers
234
00:10:42,763 --> 00:10:44,031
in the history of the world.
235
00:10:44,031 --> 00:10:47,001
I delivered a baby and --
Yeah, I can ask,
236
00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:49,570
but I think
the grandmother's raising it.
237
00:10:49,570 --> 00:10:55,142
Now, if I could just find some
decent confiscated snacks...
238
00:10:55,142 --> 00:10:58,012
And paydirt.
239
00:10:58,012 --> 00:11:00,347
All right, I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
240
00:11:00,347 --> 00:11:01,715
Okay, love you too.
241
00:11:01,715 --> 00:11:02,950
[ Chat alert beeps ]
242
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:11,492
♪♪
243
00:11:11,492 --> 00:11:20,234
♪♪
244
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:28,943
♪♪
245
00:11:28,943 --> 00:11:37,484
♪♪
246
00:11:37,484 --> 00:11:46,226
♪♪
247
00:11:46,226 --> 00:11:54,969
♪♪
248
00:11:54,969 --> 00:12:03,477
♪♪
249
00:12:03,477 --> 00:12:12,219
♪♪
250
00:12:12,219 --> 00:12:13,988
[ Bell rings ]
251
00:12:13,988 --> 00:12:16,624
Hey, what the hell happened
with tracking my target?
252
00:12:16,624 --> 00:12:17,858
He got totally spooked.
253
00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:19,593
Now, now, Tribeca,
have a seat.
254
00:12:19,593 --> 00:12:21,161
Help yourself to a burger.
255
00:12:21,161 --> 00:12:24,431
I don't want to point any
fingers, but she messed up.
256
00:12:24,431 --> 00:12:26,734
Atkins: Let's not play
the blame game!
257
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:27,901
Always takes forever.
258
00:12:27,901 --> 00:12:29,637
How about
Cards Against Humanity?
259
00:12:29,637 --> 00:12:33,107
I masked my IP address with
triple DES 168-bit encryption.
260
00:12:33,107 --> 00:12:36,577
My little brother has triple
DES 168-bit encryption.
261
00:12:36,577 --> 00:12:38,479
Your technology
is so two days ago.
262
00:12:38,479 --> 00:12:39,747
At least
I've lost my virginity.
263
00:12:39,747 --> 00:12:41,582
So have I.
He just lives in Europe.
264
00:12:41,582 --> 00:12:43,751
Knock it off, you two!
265
00:12:43,751 --> 00:12:45,719
Oh, it's eight players.
That won't work.
266
00:12:45,719 --> 00:12:48,822
It'll be a miracle if he shows
up at the loading dock tonight.
267
00:12:48,822 --> 00:12:51,859
Where's A.J.? School was out
like 20 minutes ago.
268
00:12:51,859 --> 00:12:53,827
I'm afraid A.J.'s having
a hard time here.
269
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:56,597
He's fallen in
with a bad crowd.
270
00:12:56,597 --> 00:13:05,472
♪♪
271
00:13:05,472 --> 00:13:07,975
Oh, Lana likes
what she sees.
272
00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:10,144
I don't know
about these clothes.
Oh, trust me.
273
00:13:10,144 --> 00:13:12,479
Those shorts squeeze you
in all the right places,
274
00:13:12,479 --> 00:13:16,750
and in one place
that's very, very wrong.
275
00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:18,819
Here.
Take a hit of this.
276
00:13:18,819 --> 00:13:20,654
What's in that?
Nothing much.
277
00:13:20,654 --> 00:13:24,725
Glucose, Electrolytes,
some B vitamins.
278
00:13:24,725 --> 00:13:26,660
What if they test my urine?
279
00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:28,762
That's what this is for.
280
00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:33,233
That's a clean urine
in case they test you.
281
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:36,370
Yeah, I know, I know.
282
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:39,073
Okay, guys,
let's log some miles.
283
00:13:39,073 --> 00:13:40,240
What are you doing?
284
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,475
Oh, shoot, it's my mom.
285
00:13:41,475 --> 00:13:43,243
Wait,
Mr. Clef is your mom?
286
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:45,813
No, I meant to say my moon.
287
00:13:45,813 --> 00:13:48,015
Mr. Clef is your moon?
That sucks.
288
00:13:48,015 --> 00:13:49,850
Where do you think
you're going?
289
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:51,552
You are gonna
get off that bike
290
00:13:51,552 --> 00:13:53,053
and you're coming
with me this minute.
291
00:13:53,053 --> 00:13:56,690
The only place he's going
is Stoneybrook Bike Path.
292
00:13:56,690 --> 00:13:58,258
So back off, old man.
293
00:13:58,258 --> 00:13:59,960
I would watch that mouth,
young lady.
294
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,296
What are you gonna do? I'm
already accepted at Stanford.
295
00:14:02,296 --> 00:14:03,630
You look ridiculous.
296
00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,165
This is how you want
to spend your time?
297
00:14:05,165 --> 00:14:07,601
At least these people believe
in what they're doing.
298
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:09,970
All right, let's go, A.J.
And you know what?
299
00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:12,039
If you do
a good job today,
300
00:14:12,039 --> 00:14:14,007
I'm gonna teach you
how to shave your legs.
301
00:14:14,007 --> 00:14:18,045
♪♪
302
00:14:18,045 --> 00:14:20,214
Sorry, Mr. Clef.
303
00:14:20,214 --> 00:14:22,082
I got to go.
304
00:14:22,082 --> 00:14:24,618
[ Coughs ]
305
00:14:24,618 --> 00:14:27,221
[ Horn honks ]
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
306
00:14:27,221 --> 00:14:28,689
[ Bell rings ]
307
00:14:28,689 --> 00:14:29,890
You wanted to see me, sir?
308
00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:32,292
Yeah, Scholls, come on in.
Take a knee.
309
00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:37,264
♪♪
310
00:14:37,264 --> 00:14:39,366
You know, this is a big case
we got going on here,
311
00:14:39,366 --> 00:14:42,069
and there's a lot of
pressure on everybody.
Yes, sir.
312
00:14:42,069 --> 00:14:44,505
I'm just a little worried
your head's not totally in it.
313
00:14:44,505 --> 00:14:46,006
Charo gets under my skin.
314
00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:47,975
Charo's young.
She's hungry.
315
00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:49,877
You just concentrate
on what you have --
316
00:14:49,877 --> 00:14:52,613
wisdom, experience,
and a smile
317
00:14:52,613 --> 00:14:55,149
that could light up
New York City.
318
00:14:55,149 --> 00:14:57,351
Okay. I'll try.
319
00:14:57,351 --> 00:14:58,986
Hey!
You can leave "try"
320
00:14:58,986 --> 00:15:00,187
out there
with the dirty jock straps!
321
00:15:00,187 --> 00:15:02,489
You get 'er done,
you hear?!
322
00:15:02,489 --> 00:15:05,058
Yes, sir!
Now drop and give me 20!
323
00:15:07,361 --> 00:15:11,965
♪♪
324
00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:14,668
Merlot: [ French accent ]
Hello, Mr. Clef.
325
00:15:14,668 --> 00:15:16,203
Who's there?
326
00:15:16,203 --> 00:15:17,638
I am Claude Merlot.
327
00:15:17,638 --> 00:15:18,906
Do you have the virus?
328
00:15:18,906 --> 00:15:21,208
Where are you?
I can't see you.
329
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:23,577
Do you have the virus?
330
00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:26,046
Yes, I have it right here.
331
00:15:26,046 --> 00:15:28,382
But you need
to expose yourself.
332
00:15:28,382 --> 00:15:32,119
Okay, I'm doing it.
333
00:15:32,119 --> 00:15:33,720
Put the virus
on the ground.
334
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,122
Not until I see your face.
335
00:15:35,122 --> 00:15:38,125
The National Glee Club
Championship is tomorrow.
336
00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:41,195
This high school has won
every year the past 12 years
337
00:15:41,195 --> 00:15:44,064
under Charlie Clef's
coaching.
338
00:15:44,064 --> 00:15:47,901
If you are who you say you are,
your team will win,
339
00:15:47,901 --> 00:15:50,070
and then we will
make the exchange.
340
00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:52,372
Yeah, well, if that's
what you want, fine.
341
00:15:52,372 --> 00:15:53,707
It's no problem with me.
342
00:15:53,707 --> 00:15:55,409
I mean, I was planning
on winning anyway.
343
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,878
Until tomorrow then.
344
00:15:57,878 --> 00:16:00,948
By the way, I am not
in this Dumpster.
345
00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:07,321
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
346
00:16:07,321 --> 00:16:09,022
♪ Happy birthday ♪
347
00:16:09,022 --> 00:16:11,091
♪ Happy birthday ♪
Tribeca: No, no, no!
348
00:16:11,091 --> 00:16:12,392
No! No!
349
00:16:12,392 --> 00:16:14,928
You're sharp, you're flat,
you're breastfeeding,
350
00:16:14,928 --> 00:16:16,263
and you're, like, amazing.
351
00:16:16,263 --> 00:16:18,599
Oh, I know.
I was just faking it before.
352
00:16:18,599 --> 00:16:22,703
What is it going to take for you
people to get your act together?
353
00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:25,305
Peter, if you miss
your mark one more time,
354
00:16:25,305 --> 00:16:28,008
I am going to thwack you over
the head with your own [bleep]
355
00:16:28,008 --> 00:16:30,577
I am trying, okay?
Todd's wheelchair is in the way.
356
00:16:30,577 --> 00:16:33,647
Seriously, Todd, just stand up
and do the choreography.
357
00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:36,083
Whoa,
that is way out of line.
358
00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:37,751
Todd has Plantar Fasciitis,
okay?
359
00:16:37,751 --> 00:16:41,021
You have no idea what it's like
to be in his orthotic shoes.
360
00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:42,322
I'm okay.
361
00:16:42,322 --> 00:16:44,191
I'm sorry.
362
00:16:44,191 --> 00:16:45,959
Okay?
363
00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:49,029
I'm guessing that I used to be
really good with kids,
364
00:16:49,029 --> 00:16:53,233
but the Mr. Clef
who woke up yesterday morning
365
00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:56,870
doesn't have a clue about
how to connect with a child.
366
00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:59,039
I thought it'd be easy,
you know.
367
00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:03,877
Feed them, water them,
shear them when they get woolly.
368
00:17:03,877 --> 00:17:07,347
But it turns out...
369
00:17:07,347 --> 00:17:09,316
it's more than just that.
370
00:17:09,316 --> 00:17:13,153
You have to listen to them
and you have to pretend
371
00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:15,722
the things they care about
aren't stupid.
372
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:21,295
Well, that doesn't
come easily to me.
373
00:17:21,295 --> 00:17:24,464
Suddenly,
in the last two days.
374
00:17:24,464 --> 00:17:27,234
But the National Championships
are this afternoon,
375
00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:31,004
and the stakes of winning
have never been higher.
376
00:17:31,004 --> 00:17:33,040
So let's make a deal.
377
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,609
You guys try not to be terrible,
378
00:17:35,609 --> 00:17:37,377
and that would be great.
379
00:17:40,681 --> 00:17:41,715
Who's in?
380
00:17:41,715 --> 00:17:45,452
[ Slow clapping ]
381
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,988
Sorry.
382
00:17:49,656 --> 00:17:51,758
♪ Oh, doo-dah day ♪
383
00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:53,894
♪ Going to run all night ♪
384
00:17:53,894 --> 00:17:56,129
♪ Going to run all day ♪
385
00:17:56,129 --> 00:17:58,298
♪ Bet my money
on a bob-tail nag ♪
386
00:17:58,298 --> 00:18:00,901
♪ Somebody bet on the bay ♪
387
00:18:00,901 --> 00:18:04,137
[ Cheers and applause ]
388
00:18:08,442 --> 00:18:10,777
I hate to say it,
but I think we have no chance
389
00:18:10,777 --> 00:18:12,412
of winning
this tournament.
390
00:18:12,412 --> 00:18:14,414
Merlot's gonna know
I'm not the real Clef.
391
00:18:14,414 --> 00:18:15,515
Stop eating your hair!
392
00:18:15,515 --> 00:18:16,984
I can't!
393
00:18:16,984 --> 00:18:19,319
Announcer: And now,
the final club of the night,
394
00:18:19,319 --> 00:18:22,255
the 12-time defending
national champions,
395
00:18:22,255 --> 00:18:24,825
The Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High School
396
00:18:24,825 --> 00:18:26,660
Martha Plimp-tones.
397
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:31,098
[ Cheers and applause ]
398
00:18:31,098 --> 00:18:35,769
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
399
00:18:38,138 --> 00:18:42,843
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
400
00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:49,249
♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪
401
00:18:49,249 --> 00:18:54,554
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
402
00:18:54,554 --> 00:18:57,157
♪♪
403
00:18:57,157 --> 00:19:01,094
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
404
00:19:01,094 --> 00:19:05,065
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
405
00:19:05,065 --> 00:19:07,401
♪ Happy birthday ♪
406
00:19:07,401 --> 00:19:11,171
♪ Happy birthday ♪
407
00:19:11,171 --> 00:19:15,809
♪ Happy birthday to ♪
408
00:19:15,809 --> 00:19:18,912
[ Hoffman howls ]
409
00:19:18,912 --> 00:19:21,982
♪ To you ♪
410
00:19:21,982 --> 00:19:24,685
[ Cheers and applause ]
411
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,054
Whoo! Nailed it!
412
00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:34,394
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
413
00:19:34,394 --> 00:19:40,467
♪♪
414
00:19:40,467 --> 00:19:46,540
♪♪
415
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:47,774
It's him.
It's Merlot.
416
00:19:47,774 --> 00:19:49,476
He's getting away!
417
00:19:49,476 --> 00:19:55,415
♪♪
418
00:19:55,415 --> 00:19:57,217
Good!
419
00:20:01,421 --> 00:20:03,223
Thank you, A.J.
420
00:20:03,223 --> 00:20:05,425
Don't worry about it,
Mr. Clef.
421
00:20:05,425 --> 00:20:08,462
Hey, it doesn't matter
that we lost.
422
00:20:08,462 --> 00:20:10,630
You should all feel really --
Hang on, Mr. Clef.
423
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:12,566
Announcer: May I have
your attention, please.
424
00:20:12,566 --> 00:20:15,769
The winning team
has been disqualified.
425
00:20:15,769 --> 00:20:17,204
A [bleep] [bleep]
has been found
426
00:20:17,204 --> 00:20:19,573
in one of the student's
backpacks.
427
00:20:19,573 --> 00:20:21,475
First place goes to...
428
00:20:21,475 --> 00:20:24,144
Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High Martha Plimp-tones!
429
00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:27,314
[ Applause ]
Good job, Peter.
430
00:20:27,314 --> 00:20:29,049
What are you talking about,
Mr. Clef?
431
00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:31,918
You have us plant
a [bleep] every year.
432
00:20:31,918 --> 00:20:33,553
Yes, I do, Peter.
433
00:20:33,553 --> 00:20:37,290
Yes, I do.
Yeah!
434
00:20:38,992 --> 00:20:46,867
♪♪
435
00:20:46,867 --> 00:20:54,941
♪♪
30950
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