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1
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:23,936
CBS presents this program
in color.
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00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,337
Into the barracks, everybody!
3
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,034
Into the barracks,
everybody!
4
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,949
Into the barracks,
schnell, schnell, schnell!
5
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,951
Schnell, schnell, schnell
schnell, schnell, schnell!
6
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,387
All right,
schnell, schnell.
7
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:25,259
Get into the barracks,
and all of you,
8
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:28,392
you stay in here;
order of the commandant.
9
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:29,741
Nobody leaves the barracks.
10
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,091
All right,
now, Schultzy.
11
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:40,709
Uh-oh.
12
00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:42,406
Uh-oh.
13
00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:43,799
Well, what is it?
14
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:46,758
Here's the reason
we are all confined.
15
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,456
Well, what's happening?
16
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,936
It's a kraut general
with a bunch of medals.
17
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,764
Anybody with him?
18
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:53,983
LeBEAU:
I can't see.
19
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,419
Klink's all excited.
20
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:56,986
What are they doing?
21
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:57,987
LeBEAU:
They're dancing.
22
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,424
Hansi!
23
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,817
Putzi!
24
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,516
And now you
are a general?
25
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,866
And you are
still a colonel.
26
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,785
And now they're going
into Klink's office.
27
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:16,092
I'd better
get the colonel.
28
00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:18,790
Oh, Colonel,
29
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:21,053
there's a kraut
general outside.
30
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,707
That's the trouble
with prison camps.
31
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:25,057
You never have a minute
just to do nothing.
32
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,451
Get the intercom working, huh?
33
00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:29,018
Come in, my dear Stofle!
34
00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:30,367
Come in, come in!
35
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,977
On the phone
you mentioned
36
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,545
something about a
beautiful Rhine maiden.
37
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,112
Ah...
38
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,724
Asleep in the
back of my car.
39
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:41,726
Oh, oh, really?
40
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:45,295
You were always
the wild one.
41
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:49,778
All set, Colonel.
42
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,301
Good.
43
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:54,086
To General Stofle,
the great tactician
44
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,741
of the Afrika
Korps, my guest.
45
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,091
To my old classmate
at university,
46
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:03,835
then two grades ahead
of me, now two grades behind.
47
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,796
I shall never forget
what you gave me...
48
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,493
My dueling scar.
49
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:12,844
Ah, it was
my pleasure.
50
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:16,848
Ooh, I could use
a man like you.
51
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,633
We could be
a team again.
52
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,982
A team.
53
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:22,289
Side by side in combat.
54
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:23,986
The smell
of gunpowder.
55
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,683
The roar of cannons.
56
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,381
There is nothing
I would like better,
57
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:31,385
but, then, I cannot
shirk my duty here,
58
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:35,519
and my iron hand is needed
to control these prisoners.
59
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,870
Of course, Putzi.
60
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:42,178
A little more
cognac, Hansi?
61
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,701
Ja, ja, ja.
62
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,137
Now, I have
arranged
63
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,531
a luncheon at the
officer's club...
64
00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,794
Oh, just simple
soldier's fare.
65
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:53,233
A little relaxation before
returning to battle.
66
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,323
What do you know about
my returning to battle?
67
00:03:56,410 --> 00:04:00,892
Nothing. No one even knows
that you are here, Hansi.
68
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:03,504
Good. No one must know.
69
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:07,595
I would wager the success
of your next campaign on that.
70
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:12,164
The Allies would give anything,
Putzi, to know where I am,
71
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,037
But how could they
possibly find out?
72
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,430
It's simple.
73
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:19,346
Kinch, radio London
and tell them.
74
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,403
Most interesting guest
75
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:34,926
you have there.
76
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,364
We have a date with his boys
at dawn tomorrow
77
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,409
out in the good old desert.
78
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:43,283
Could be an awfully good show
for us if he doesn't make it.
79
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,937
I take it you want us
to keep him here.
80
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,244
I do like the way
your mind works.
81
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:50,377
Just for 24 hours or so.
82
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,030
Just for 24 hours.
83
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:54,598
Got any suggestions how?
84
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:56,731
That isa sticky wicket,
85
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,907
but do give it
a whirl, old chaps.
86
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,256
Over and out.
87
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:01,518
Over and out.
88
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:06,088
How are we supposed
to kidnap a German general?
89
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:09,439
Do give it a
whirl, old chaps.
90
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:13,530
Uh-oh. Colonel, he's sleeping
in the back of his car.
91
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,271
The general?
Why would the commander
92
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,838
of the Afrika Korps
be doing that?
93
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,622
Germans.
94
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,668
A bottle of wine for lunch,
and they can't stay awake.
95
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,583
All right, London
wants us to delay him
96
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,585
till after the offensive...
Let's take him.
97
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,021
How?
98
00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,196
Good afternoon,
General.
99
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,589
I'm the senior
POW officer.
100
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:29,981
Colonel Klink
asked me to take you
101
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:31,679
on an inspection tour
of the barracks.
102
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,028
Then what?
103
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,638
Once in the barracks,
we get him
104
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,031
into the tunnel
and to England for the duration.
105
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,554
Colonel?
Mm-hmm.
106
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,340
You sure
that's a good plan?
107
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:43,212
You have a better one?
108
00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,823
Good plan.
Good plan.
109
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,216
Newkirk. Carter.
110
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,217
Yes, sir.
111
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:49,479
Diversion.
112
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,701
Schultz.
113
00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:54,702
Come here a minute.
114
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:55,703
Come on.
Come on in.
115
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:56,878
Come in.
What?
116
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:59,054
We want to see you.
Come on in.
117
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,447
What is it?
What do you want?
118
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,012
We want you to
settle an argument.
119
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:02,318
What?
120
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,319
I bet Newkirk
I could guess
121
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,842
how much you weigh.
122
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:06,844
That's all you guys
have to do...
123
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:09,107
Listen to him.
124
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,460
Don't do that.
125
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:14,809
Well?
126
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:18,160
Well, I estimate 250
pounds. Am I right?
127
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:21,685
I say nothing. Nothing.
128
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,078
May I?
129
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,038
He's 300
if he's a pound.
130
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,388
That's a terrible
thing to say.
131
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,998
What do you weigh?
132
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:33,871
295, but it's still a very
terrible thing to say.
133
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:41,923
Hello.
134
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,578
Hello.
135
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,406
Sorry, miss, I
didn't know this cab was taken.
136
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,236
Follow me.
137
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,587
Excuse us, miss,
just passing through.
138
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,070
A Gestapo major?
139
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,724
Well, what is
it all about?
140
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:03,901
Of course, let him in.
Anything he wants.
141
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,033
Why are they here?
142
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,904
Who knows?
143
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,732
Mm... might be awkward.
144
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,735
You know how
they twist things.
145
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,308
Hansi... I know, I
know, I know...
146
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:20,788
Oh, how delightful!
147
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,529
Klink, you have
private quarters here?
148
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:25,488
Of course, of course, through
this door straight ahead.
149
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,621
Mm.
150
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,724
Unload the equipment.
151
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,520
Colonel Hogan,
senior officer
152
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,304
of the prisoners of war,
reporting.
153
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:02,394
So? And may I say how glad we are
to see you here, sir?
154
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,048
You see, we have
many grievances,
155
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:06,398
and with the Gestapo's
reputation for fairness
156
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,357
and generosity,
we were, um, uh...
157
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,054
Welcome to Stalag 13.
158
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,882
I'm so happy to...
159
00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:13,580
What are you
doing here?
160
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,233
I confined all
prisoners to the barracks.
161
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,800
And why was that,
Colonel Klink?
162
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,454
Well, it-it-it, um...
163
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,804
Yeah, I've been meaning
to ask why myself, Commandant.
164
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,806
Discipline, huh,
discipline.
165
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,852
Sir, I run a hard camp.
166
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:27,158
Sir, you should have let me know
that you were coming.
167
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,160
Oh, the Gestapo warns no one.
168
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,336
I am Major Zolle,
Commandant Klink,
169
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:34,992
and I assure you, I know
all about you and your camp.
170
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,690
I will come
right to the point.
171
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:40,128
There is something strange
about this camp.
172
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:41,477
Strange, sir?
173
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,174
Not one complaint
from Berlin.
174
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,480
Why do they not complain?
175
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:45,916
Because Berlin...
176
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,179
Because Berlin
cannot be trusted either.
177
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,833
Berlin cannot
be trusted?
178
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,095
What about General
Burkhalter?
179
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:54,490
What about General Burkhalter?
180
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,753
He personally commended
Stalag 13.
181
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,886
No incidents,
no escapes...
182
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:01,323
Perhaps General Burkhalter
cannot be trusted.
183
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,672
What do you say to that?
184
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,109
General Burkhalter?
185
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,676
I trust no one.
186
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,026
Not you. Not my mother.
187
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,550
Not your mother?
188
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,901
Sir, I assure you,
I run a model camp.
189
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:16,556
We will find something wrong,
believe me.
190
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:21,952
I always say if a thing sounds
too perfect, watch out.
191
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,041
Come.
192
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,701
Kommandant Klink,
please, Herr Kommandant.
193
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,703
I have apprehended
Colonel Hogan
194
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:37,011
to be absent from the barracks
without official orders.
195
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:40,580
Schultz, not now.
196
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:44,845
What did I say?
197
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:48,588
Schultz, you're too perfect.
198
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,377
And this, Colonel Klink,
is a wireless listening device
199
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,727
perfected by my department.
200
00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,424
Very interesting.
201
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:02,036
My prisoners are much too broken
in spirit
202
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,341
to require such measures.
203
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,560
Definitely.
204
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,388
So we shall see.
205
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:10,261
This can hear a mouse's
heartbeat at a hundred paces.
206
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,220
I run a clean camp, sir.
207
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:15,266
We have no mice here.
208
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:20,532
It can also detect the sound
of men working in tunnels.
209
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,882
Amazing.
210
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,231
We may do a little digging
211
00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:26,843
to see if it works
when I get back.
212
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:31,456
This casts a beam so powerful,
it can find a prisoner
213
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:34,242
a thousand yards away.
214
00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:39,290
Sir, my prisoners
are never that far away.
215
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:43,643
Weighted, it can crack a skull
like this.
216
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:51,302
I see you find discipline
distasteful, eh, Kommandant?
217
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:54,088
I shall put that
in my report.
218
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,265
Sir, I admire discipline.
219
00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,006
How fortunate...
220
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:02,052
in case you should ever be
on the receiving end.
221
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,143
Come.
222
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,066
Don't worry, Colonel,
there's not a chance
223
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,199
in the world they'll find
what they're looking for.
224
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:19,896
What arethey
looking for?
225
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,159
You mean you don't know
about the general's girlfriend?
226
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:24,727
What about her?
227
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,862
How do you know
about the general?
228
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:31,908
There is no general here.
229
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,128
What do you know
about his girlfriend?
230
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,347
I thought you'd recognize her
from the pictures.
231
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:37,784
Pictures?
232
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:40,134
Must you always
talk in riddles?
233
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,049
You have to really hand it
to General Stofle.
234
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,573
I mean, he may be a fool,
but he's got guts.
235
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,706
What are you
talking about?
236
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,360
Well...
237
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:50,927
Sorry, sir.
238
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,234
It's just that the girl
has been seen constantly
239
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,714
with Himmler, that's all.
240
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,716
Himmler, the Gestapo?
241
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,588
Now I know why they are here.
242
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:01,372
Feeling all
right, Colonel?
243
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,244
What am I to do?
244
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,507
Well, one thing's
for sure:
245
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,074
we mustn't let Stofle
take the bit
246
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,815
in his teeth
and leave too soon.
247
00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:10,077
You know what
that would mean.
248
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,557
Of course, of course!
249
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:13,558
What would it mean?
250
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,430
Shooting. Shooting?
251
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,736
Well, you know
how Stofle is.
252
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,694
Who knows
better than I?
253
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,565
Didn't he give me this scar?
254
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,525
At the university,
we were inseparable.
255
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,875
And as his best friend,
you'd be implicated.
256
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,399
I hardly know him.
257
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,053
So, the best thing
to do is, uh,
258
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,707
keep him entertained
in your quarters.
259
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,144
Entertained... in my quarters.
260
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,885
The best of food and wine.
261
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,061
I was thinking of my man LeBeau.
262
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:39,802
French. Most discreet.
263
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:42,413
LeBeau. I shall give the order.
264
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,546
Uh, I guess
that takes care of things.
265
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:46,026
Colonel Hogan,
266
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,245
although we've had our
differences in the past,
267
00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:49,681
and since our uniforms
268
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,248
do not permit us
to be friends,
269
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:54,425
still... my quarters?
270
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:57,777
The Gestapo will
find them both in my quarters.
271
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,083
Colonel, I like the way
you see through problems.
272
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,955
What can we do?
273
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:04,609
Well, we've got to keep
the Gestapo busy somewhere else.
274
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,263
They must not come
near your quarters.
275
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,613
It will never work.
276
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,921
Colonel Hogan,
it must work.
277
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:14,097
Colonel, please.
278
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:18,058
The uniform has to last me
for the duration.
279
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:30,548
Men, it is up to you.
280
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:33,725
You, Gunther, go with Steiner
to the warehouse,
281
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,815
and do not hesitate
to use your torches.
282
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,555
Jawohl! Jawohl, Major!
283
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,079
You, there...
284
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,081
What is your name?
285
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:45,389
It is Sergeant Schultz, um,
awaiting your orders, Major.
286
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:48,044
I assume you know about wireless
radio, correct?
287
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:52,266
Wireless... radio...
Of course, Major!
288
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:56,313
Good. Remember, we must
show these Allied prisoners
289
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,315
how we will win the war.
290
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,752
Jawohl, Major.
291
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,712
You seem to be very
nervous, Herr Klink.
292
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,235
Me, nervous?
293
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,063
Why should I be nervous?
294
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,892
That's a
good question.
295
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:11,633
Follow me.
296
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,336
Aw, Schultz,
here, here.
297
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:22,209
Let me help you,
Schultz.
298
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:25,995
Please! Please, Colonel Hogan,
don't think of helping me.
299
00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,518
Schultz!
300
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,781
Jawohl, Herr Major!
301
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,050
This is a foolproof
instrument, Schultz.
302
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,661
If there is a tunnel
under the ground anywhere,
303
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,184
it will tell us.
304
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,882
Jawohl, Major.
305
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:46,015
Another example of German
scientific supremacy.
306
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:49,236
We are a remarkable
people, Major.
307
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:53,718
Ah! I told you,
Schultz. There!
308
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:08,516
Major, I hit something.
309
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,126
Give me that.
310
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:14,043
Major...
311
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,045
would you like me to dig?
312
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:17,568
No, Schultz.
313
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,528
This is going to be
my little surprise.
314
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:23,966
You may fire
when ready, Gridley.
315
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,550
Mon General.
316
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,552
Look, Hansi,
real champagne!
317
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,554
From the Commandant's
private cellar.
318
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:48,904
Ah, he knows how
to live, this Klink.
319
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,776
Not how to die,
but how to live.
320
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:58,087
Oh, that's beautiful.
321
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,200
Mademoiselle.
322
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,377
Mon General.
323
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:51,575
Here.
324
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,013
What is that?
325
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,971
I don't know.
326
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,451
Some sort of vent.
327
00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,844
Let's take a look.
328
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,151
Do you want me
to hold your light?
329
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,544
Yes.
330
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:05,024
Give you a hand,
Sergeant?
331
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,025
Danke schon.
332
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,026
Right. Pleasure.
333
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,027
Thank you.
334
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,550
Watch it now.
335
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:21,649
Eh, where's the light?
336
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,259
Come back here!
337
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:24,347
Swine!
338
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,307
What is happening?
339
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:36,533
They did this.
340
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:38,666
They stole
our equipment!
341
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,276
Quiet, you fool.
342
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:41,712
If Zolle finds out,
343
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,237
he'll send us
to the Russian front.
344
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:47,283
What will we do?
345
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:48,763
What canwe do?
346
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,373
Take it easy.
347
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:52,854
After a while, we tell him
we didn't find anything.
348
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:58,860
There it is, Schultz.
349
00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,122
Those loose boards.
350
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,211
That is how they
plan to escape.
351
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,734
Jawohl, Major.
352
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,954
Ja.Set up the ladder.
353
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,869
Certainly.
354
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,526
No, no, Schultz.
355
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:13,918
No, I'll go.
356
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,833
Take this.
357
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,661
Give me that crowbar.
358
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,446
Right.
359
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:23,711
If that fool, Klink, wants
evidence, I'll show him.
360
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,064
What is that?
361
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,979
It's from here.
362
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:34,417
Somebody's prying
up the floor.
363
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:37,768
Must be a prisoner
trying to escape.
364
00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,729
Give me the
monkey wrench.
365
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,992
They stole that, too.
366
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:49,215
Here, I can use this.
367
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:51,304
We can redeem ourselves.
368
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:54,785
Now Major Zolle
will be very proud of us.
369
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,222
Shh!
370
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:37,698
General?
371
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:39,221
Yes? What is it?
372
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,875
Colonel Hogan,
Senior Prisoner of War Officer.
373
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,659
Is the general ready
for lunch yet, sir?
374
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,357
Forget the lunch!
375
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:45,967
Where's Klink?
376
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:48,143
Have my car brought here.
I must leave immediately.
377
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,623
Of course.
Right away, sir.
378
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,190
Uh, about
the young lady...?
379
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,801
Let her sleep.
This is what she does best.
380
00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:57,108
She could sleep
through an artillery drill!
381
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,198
Yes, of course.
382
00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:07,423
Uh, just a minute.
383
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:08,468
Sir?
384
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:09,947
You recognize her?
385
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:11,688
Well, just from the pictures.
386
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,037
What pictures?
387
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,735
Well, you know
how it is in prison.
388
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,040
We don't have much to do,
389
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,738
so we read
all your gossip sheets.
390
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,479
Uh, they say
he's crazy about her.
391
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:21,132
Who is crazy about her?
392
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,439
What's his name? Uh, it's
on the tip of my tongue.
393
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:24,875
Uh... Himmel, Himmel...
Something...
394
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:26,529
Not Himmler. Himmler, Himmler,
that's it.
395
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:27,704
Himmler!? Yeah, well, don't
worry about it.
396
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:28,923
You're leaving.
He'll never know.
397
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:30,316
How can I leave?
398
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,535
The place is crawling
with Gestapo.
399
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:33,710
And now I see why!
400
00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:35,234
Why didn't Ithink of that?
401
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,887
That's why you're a general.
402
00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,411
They'll be here any minute.
403
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,326
Too bad you're not
in one of our uniforms.
404
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,545
Then you'd be completely
anonymous, huh, LeBeau?
405
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:43,851
Oh, invisible.
406
00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:45,896
Just a minute.Mm-hmm.
407
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,594
Suppose I were
dressed like you.
408
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,726
How would that help me
get out of here?
409
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,511
Then no one would notice you.
410
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,513
You see, you get in the back
of Colonel Klink's car,
411
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,558
you crouch down and pfft,
right out the gate.
412
00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:56,733
Get me
an American uniform.
413
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,908
How would we do that?
414
00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:59,040
I don't know how,
just do it!
415
00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:00,215
If you say so.
416
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,390
LeBeau?
417
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:02,739
Size 44 regular.
418
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,741
Coming up, mon general.
419
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,743
Oh, uh, General?
Huh?
420
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:08,397
Would you care for cuffs?
421
00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:16,275
I assure you prisoners,
this comedy is over.
422
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:20,627
Do you want to
tell me about it,
423
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:24,413
or will I be forced
to drag it out of you?
424
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:27,242
Very well, no one will speak?
425
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:31,290
I shall question you
more closely.
426
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,774
Schultz.
427
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:42,953
Schultz?
428
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,392
He's too smart, Schultz.
429
00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:47,871
He's going
to find out about it.
430
00:21:47,958 --> 00:21:49,046
Find out what?
431
00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:50,396
About the defector.
432
00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:52,006
What defector?
433
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:55,139
The one trying to escape
in the back of Klink's car.
434
00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:56,663
He'll never make it anyway.
435
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,925
Why should he get all
of us into trouble?
436
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:00,406
Go get him, tiger.
437
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:06,586
Schultz, where
are you going?!
438
00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,196
Stop! Stop!
439
00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,111
Schultz, what are
you doing here? Stop!
440
00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:12,592
I-I'm apprehending a defector,
Herr Kommandant!
441
00:22:12,679 --> 00:22:14,115
A what? A what?
A what? A what?
442
00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:15,595
A defector.
Out with you.
443
00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:19,076
Out, out, out, out,
defector. Out! Out!
444
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:21,992
Aha!
Aha!
445
00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:24,212
Now we have something.
446
00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:25,692
This can be explained.
447
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:27,520
Yes, I shall enjoy
hearing you explain.
448
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:28,869
Take him away.
449
00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:31,654
I am Major General
Hans Stofle,
450
00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:34,962
Commander of the Ninth Armored
Division Afrika Korps.
451
00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:37,704
Oh? The Afrika Korps
has changed uniform?
452
00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:39,183
I can explain this.
453
00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:40,837
Klink, explain this.
454
00:22:40,924 --> 00:22:42,491
Explain what?
455
00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:44,841
That I am General Stofle,
your old classmate.
456
00:22:44,928 --> 00:22:46,321
Tell him.
457
00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:49,411
Well, Klink?
458
00:22:49,498 --> 00:22:53,981
He resembles my old classmate,
but that's such a long time ago.
459
00:22:54,068 --> 00:22:55,199
Klink!
460
00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:56,549
Ask this man.
461
00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:58,028
He got me the uniform.
462
00:22:58,115 --> 00:23:00,074
Never saw him
before in my life.
463
00:23:00,161 --> 00:23:01,118
Take him away.
464
00:23:01,205 --> 00:23:02,598
Just a minute!
465
00:23:02,685 --> 00:23:04,383
If I'm not with my
troops in the morning,
466
00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:06,080
you shall have to
answer for this!
467
00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,690
Of course.
468
00:23:07,777 --> 00:23:10,563
But first we must find out
just what those troops are.
469
00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:12,260
In our Berlin headquarters
470
00:23:12,347 --> 00:23:14,567
we have facilities
for sifting out the truth.
471
00:23:14,654 --> 00:23:16,090
There is no
time for this!
472
00:23:16,177 --> 00:23:18,440
For the truth
there is always time.
473
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:19,528
Take him away!
474
00:23:20,877 --> 00:23:24,272
I wonder who he really is?
475
00:23:26,753 --> 00:23:33,934
Hogan, there is something
diabolical about you.
476
00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:36,284
I know.
477
00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:43,726
Hogan, for you I'm considering
30 days in the cooler.
478
00:23:43,813 --> 00:23:45,424
Well, if you think
I deserve it, sir,
479
00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:47,556
I'd be most happy to
honor your sense of duty.
480
00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:49,384
If you deserve it?
If you...?
481
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:51,560
You deserve six months,
a year.
482
00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:53,257
That hurts.
483
00:23:53,344 --> 00:23:56,086
The Allies have started
a big offensive in the desert,
484
00:23:56,173 --> 00:23:58,001
and he wasn't there
to stop them.
485
00:23:58,088 --> 00:23:59,612
They got through?
486
00:23:59,699 --> 00:24:01,614
With Stofle gone, like
a knife through butter.
487
00:24:01,701 --> 00:24:04,094
And now my old friend will
never talk to me again.
488
00:24:04,181 --> 00:24:06,401
My career, oh,
it's in jeopardy.
489
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,272
In jeopardy?
490
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,188
Hah. I've never seen a campaign
waged more brilliantly.
491
00:24:11,275 --> 00:24:13,930
You achieved total victory,
if I may say so, sir.
492
00:24:14,017 --> 00:24:15,802
Total victory. I did?
493
00:24:15,889 --> 00:24:18,892
If you and Stofle were
still friends, sooner or later
494
00:24:18,979 --> 00:24:21,024
he would have talked you into
being a tank commander,
495
00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:22,765
not that you wouldn't have
been brilliant.
496
00:24:22,852 --> 00:24:24,027
Danke.
497
00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:25,333
The Gestapo
was after you.
498
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:26,726
And where are you today?
499
00:24:26,813 --> 00:24:28,858
Driving a droshky
on the Russian steppes?
500
00:24:28,945 --> 00:24:31,165
No, sir, you're right here
where you belong,
501
00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:32,775
at Stalag 13.
502
00:24:32,862 --> 00:24:36,039
You know something, Hogan,
you could be right.
503
00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:38,172
Zolle was a mere puppet
in your hands.
504
00:24:38,259 --> 00:24:39,434
You let him dance,
505
00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:40,522
think he was in command
and then pfft,
506
00:24:40,609 --> 00:24:42,350
you cut him dead.
507
00:24:42,437 --> 00:24:44,787
You were brilliant the way
you got rid of the Gestapo.
508
00:24:44,874 --> 00:24:46,876
I was?
509
00:24:46,963 --> 00:24:49,139
I never thought of that.
510
00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:53,056
I warned them to leave me alone,
and now they're gone.
511
00:24:54,188 --> 00:24:57,060
Congratulations, Commandant.
512
00:24:58,714 --> 00:25:00,934
Mm, danke.
34971
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