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1
00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:03,657
Well, howdy, friend.
2
00:01:03,657 --> 00:01:04,950
Shh!
3
00:01:04,992 --> 00:01:06,076
Howdy, monsieur.
4
00:01:06,118 --> 00:01:09,746
Jeb Winslow, Captain,
419th Fighter Squadron.
5
00:01:09,788 --> 00:01:11,039
I'm an American.
6
00:01:11,081 --> 00:01:12,624
Oh, really?
7
00:01:12,666 --> 00:01:15,586
Corporal LeBeau, Stalag 13.
8
00:01:15,627 --> 00:01:17,504
You from that big old ugly
prison camp yonder?
9
00:01:17,546 --> 00:01:18,505
Yes, sir.
10
00:01:18,547 --> 00:01:20,257
We had a message
from the underground.
11
00:01:20,299 --> 00:01:21,842
You got shot down near
Dusseldorf?
12
00:01:21,842 --> 00:01:24,803
Some Kraut on the ground
got my gas tank.
13
00:01:24,845 --> 00:01:26,889
I was coming down real fast,
14
00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:28,432
just like a great
big bare-faced vulture,
15
00:01:28,473 --> 00:01:29,766
strafing a train, when
all of a sudden that...
16
00:01:29,808 --> 00:01:31,268
Shh!
17
00:01:31,310 --> 00:01:34,146
Hey, Capitaine, is this going
to be a long story?
18
00:01:34,188 --> 00:01:35,522
Huh?
19
00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:37,107
Colonel Hogan
is waiting for you.
20
00:01:37,149 --> 00:01:40,527
Oh, okay, Shorty.
21
00:01:40,569 --> 00:01:42,279
Lead the way.
22
00:01:42,321 --> 00:01:43,363
All right,
let's go.
23
00:01:47,201 --> 00:01:49,161
Ooh-wee.
24
00:01:49,203 --> 00:01:51,038
Imagine sneaking
into a prison camp
25
00:01:51,079 --> 00:01:52,873
just so you can
sneak out again.
26
00:01:52,873 --> 00:01:54,541
C'est la guerre, uh?
27
00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:57,711
Hold on.
That's French.
28
00:01:57,711 --> 00:02:00,547
I reckon so, stranger.
29
00:02:14,937 --> 00:02:17,231
Well, howdy.
30
00:02:17,231 --> 00:02:19,566
How'd you get him
through the tunnel?
31
00:02:19,566 --> 00:02:22,110
Did you come by
plane or horse?
32
00:02:22,152 --> 00:02:24,905
Oh, these here are my
good luck flying clothes.
33
00:02:24,947 --> 00:02:26,365
Yeah, well
if Sitting Bull
34
00:02:26,406 --> 00:02:27,783
gets in the war,
you'll be all set.
35
00:02:30,577 --> 00:02:32,454
Uh, excuse me.
36
00:02:32,496 --> 00:02:34,873
You're the first Texan
37
00:02:34,915 --> 00:02:36,959
I've ever seen
outside the cinema.
38
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,752
It's quite a shock,
you know.
39
00:02:40,212 --> 00:02:42,256
Hey, Captain, how many
planes you shoot down?
40
00:02:42,297 --> 00:02:43,590
Oh, nine for
dang sure.
41
00:02:43,590 --> 00:02:44,675
Three or four maybes.
42
00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:45,884
Hey, why don't we
all go home
43
00:02:45,926 --> 00:02:47,719
and let him finish
the war by himself.
44
00:02:47,761 --> 00:02:49,805
Hey, uh, Colonel,
how soon you reckon
45
00:02:49,847 --> 00:02:51,640
I could get back
to my squadron?
46
00:02:51,682 --> 00:02:53,141
Our radio man
is making contact
47
00:02:53,183 --> 00:02:55,477
with a sub patrolling
off the coast right now.
48
00:02:55,519 --> 00:02:57,187
Well, how about that?
49
00:02:57,229 --> 00:02:58,730
They'll arrange
a rendezvous point
50
00:02:58,772 --> 00:03:00,107
and pick you up
in 48 hours.
51
00:03:00,107 --> 00:03:01,733
No, he won't.
52
00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:04,111
We had a short,
blew out half the equipment.
53
00:03:04,152 --> 00:03:05,529
We can't send or receive.
54
00:03:05,571 --> 00:03:06,780
How long to fix it?
55
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:07,948
It's impossible.
56
00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:09,074
We need new parts.
57
00:03:09,116 --> 00:03:10,826
All right, we'll get
them for you... make a list.
58
00:03:10,868 --> 00:03:12,077
Got it right here.
59
00:03:12,119 --> 00:03:14,162
You're all going
to get radio parts
60
00:03:14,204 --> 00:03:16,790
in the middle of Germany
with a big old war going on?
61
00:03:16,832 --> 00:03:18,292
We got a contact
in town...
62
00:03:18,292 --> 00:03:19,960
Bartender at
the local hotel.
63
00:03:20,002 --> 00:03:22,045
Fellas, I'm going
to need a volunteer
64
00:03:22,087 --> 00:03:24,006
to go into town
to see the dentist.
65
00:03:24,047 --> 00:03:27,467
Hmm, I see,
another stampede, huh?
66
00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:30,387
I'm sorry, I can only
accept one volunteer.
67
00:03:30,429 --> 00:03:31,638
Sir, I...
68
00:03:31,638 --> 00:03:32,723
Thank you, Newkirk.
69
00:03:32,764 --> 00:03:34,308
No, I was only going
to suggest Carter.
70
00:03:34,349 --> 00:03:36,226
Oh, thanks, pal.
71
00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:37,352
Nurse, will you assist him?
72
00:03:37,394 --> 00:03:38,353
Yes, sir.
73
00:03:38,395 --> 00:03:39,730
Now, if you'll
please open wide?
74
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:40,731
Open wide,
please.
75
00:03:40,772 --> 00:03:41,815
This won't hurt.
This won't hurt.
76
00:03:41,857 --> 00:03:44,735
Cotton.
Cotton.
77
00:03:44,776 --> 00:03:45,736
There you are.
78
00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:47,571
Now have a toothache,
and that's an order.
79
00:03:51,909 --> 00:03:53,493
Herr Kommandant, here they are.
80
00:03:53,493 --> 00:03:54,828
I will finish
dictating
81
00:03:54,828 --> 00:03:56,872
those reports later,
Fraulein Helga.
82
00:03:56,914 --> 00:03:58,332
Very good, Herr Colonel.
83
00:04:00,876 --> 00:04:03,670
You look beautiful
today, baby.
84
00:04:03,712 --> 00:04:05,797
Schultz!
85
00:04:05,839 --> 00:04:08,467
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
86
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,761
Now, Colonel Hogan,
a toothache, huh?
87
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:12,137
Your men seem
to have
88
00:04:12,179 --> 00:04:14,097
a lot of dental
trouble lately.
89
00:04:14,139 --> 00:04:15,849
I think it's the sawdust
in the bread, sir,
90
00:04:15,891 --> 00:04:18,018
but I guess if you want
to make money on supplies,
91
00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:19,144
you've got to do that.
92
00:04:19,186 --> 00:04:21,188
Who told you
that we put sawdust
93
00:04:21,188 --> 00:04:22,981
in the prisoners' bread?
94
00:04:23,023 --> 00:04:24,274
A little bird told me.
95
00:04:24,316 --> 00:04:25,359
That little bird
96
00:04:25,359 --> 00:04:28,111
may soon be flying off
to the Russian front.
97
00:04:28,153 --> 00:04:31,073
I said nothing,
Herr Kommandant, nothing.
98
00:04:32,866 --> 00:04:34,701
Does it hurt?
99
00:04:34,701 --> 00:04:35,869
Oh, the pain
is terrible.
100
00:04:35,911 --> 00:04:37,329
Let him speak
for himself.
101
00:04:38,872 --> 00:04:40,415
That's plain
enough for anybody.
102
00:04:40,457 --> 00:04:42,709
Now, how did I know this
is a genuine toothache?
103
00:04:42,709 --> 00:04:43,710
Open your mouth.
104
00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:46,296
Ah-ha, mouth stuffed
with cotton.
105
00:04:46,338 --> 00:04:48,841
That's to keep
the tooth warm.
106
00:04:48,882 --> 00:04:50,384
Why, of course.
107
00:04:50,384 --> 00:04:53,887
Don't you give me any credit
for having any brains.
108
00:04:53,929 --> 00:04:55,055
I refuse to answer
109
00:04:55,097 --> 00:04:56,723
on the grounds that
I might tell the truth.
110
00:04:57,891 --> 00:04:59,017
Schultz!
111
00:04:59,059 --> 00:05:01,478
If I agree to let him
go to the dentist,
112
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,898
what guarantee do I have
that he will not try to escape.
113
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:05,941
You have my word.
114
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:07,943
He agrees.
115
00:05:07,985 --> 00:05:08,986
I heard him.
116
00:05:09,027 --> 00:05:10,487
All right.
117
00:05:10,529 --> 00:05:11,530
I'll give him
a pass.
118
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,365
Now, Schultz,
you take him
119
00:05:13,407 --> 00:05:15,909
straight to the dentist
in Hamilburg
120
00:05:15,951 --> 00:05:17,494
and then straight
back here
121
00:05:17,536 --> 00:05:19,413
without any detours,
understood?
122
00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:21,039
Understood,
Herr Kommandant.
123
00:05:21,081 --> 00:05:23,959
And you will stay
with him at all times,
124
00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:25,919
even while
the dentist treats him.
125
00:05:25,961 --> 00:05:29,798
Sir, the dentist
might pull his tooth.
126
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:30,841
So?
127
00:05:30,883 --> 00:05:33,719
I can't stand
the sight of blood.
128
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,512
Imbecile!
129
00:05:35,554 --> 00:05:39,016
How did you ever get
into the German army?
130
00:05:39,057 --> 00:05:40,142
I think he lied
about his weight.
131
00:05:45,939 --> 00:05:47,399
No, no.
132
00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:49,401
The order was
straight to the dentist
133
00:05:49,443 --> 00:05:50,944
and then straight back home.
134
00:05:50,986 --> 00:05:52,696
Schultz, you can't
deny a man
135
00:05:52,738 --> 00:05:55,282
a bit of schnapps before
a visit to the dentist.
136
00:05:55,282 --> 00:05:56,742
It's inhuman.
137
00:05:56,783 --> 00:05:58,327
Look, one drink.
138
00:05:58,368 --> 00:05:59,912
One drink, now, come on.
139
00:05:59,953 --> 00:06:02,331
You'll have a beer.
140
00:06:02,372 --> 00:06:04,124
Ein bier.
141
00:06:04,124 --> 00:06:05,292
Yes, sir.
142
00:06:05,292 --> 00:06:07,127
And I'll have a wee
drop of whiskey.
143
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:08,837
Now don't worry.
Don't worry.
144
00:06:08,879 --> 00:06:09,796
All right.
145
00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:10,923
Hello, chum.
146
00:06:10,964 --> 00:06:12,299
Wie gehts and all that.
147
00:06:12,341 --> 00:06:15,469
Oh, that's that lovely
tub of beer for my friend.
148
00:06:15,469 --> 00:06:18,263
A wee drop of
whiskey for me, please.
149
00:06:18,305 --> 00:06:20,307
Whiskey, sir. Yes.
150
00:06:20,474 --> 00:06:22,726
The good stuff, right.
151
00:06:22,768 --> 00:06:27,564
Radio parts.
152
00:06:27,606 --> 00:06:29,274
We need them
right away.
153
00:06:31,318 --> 00:06:32,653
Here we go then.
154
00:06:32,694 --> 00:06:35,822
Ooh, this stuff looks
good enough to drink.
155
00:06:38,283 --> 00:06:41,203
Ah... prosit.
156
00:06:41,245 --> 00:06:43,288
Well, if you say so.
157
00:06:53,298 --> 00:06:54,508
Ah...
158
00:06:54,508 --> 00:06:57,886
Oh, this is good,
strong beer.
159
00:06:57,928 --> 00:07:00,556
Nothing too good for
our boys in uniform.
160
00:07:02,558 --> 00:07:04,142
Is that an officer
back there?
161
00:07:04,184 --> 00:07:06,019
Where?
162
00:07:06,061 --> 00:07:08,021
I see nothing.
163
00:07:08,063 --> 00:07:09,439
It's my mistake.
164
00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,149
I'm a bit jumpy,
I guess.
165
00:07:11,191 --> 00:07:12,943
Oh, don't scare me
like that.
166
00:07:12,985 --> 00:07:16,071
Prosit.
167
00:07:16,113 --> 00:07:17,072
Prosit.
168
00:07:22,494 --> 00:07:25,581
Excuse me, sir.
169
00:07:25,622 --> 00:07:30,294
What time does this train
get to Dusseldorf?
170
00:07:30,335 --> 00:07:32,045
I'll let you know.
171
00:07:32,087 --> 00:07:34,006
Thank you
very much, sir.
172
00:07:37,342 --> 00:07:38,802
Ah...
173
00:07:38,844 --> 00:07:40,888
Very good beer
in this place,
174
00:07:40,888 --> 00:07:43,390
but the glasses
are terrible.
175
00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:54,651
Thanks, chum.
176
00:07:54,693 --> 00:07:56,904
Lend us a hand,
will you?
177
00:07:56,945 --> 00:07:58,697
Come on, Schultz.
178
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,324
Come on,
the party's over.
179
00:08:00,365 --> 00:08:01,408
Look alive, now.
180
00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:03,577
You go to the dentist.
I wait for you here.
181
00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:05,537
Been to the dentist.
Look, look.
182
00:08:05,579 --> 00:08:06,872
The swelling,
it's gone.
183
00:08:06,914 --> 00:08:08,165
Now, come on.
184
00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:09,750
Send the bill to Klink.
185
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:14,087
Big shot, Klink.
186
00:08:14,129 --> 00:08:16,089
Blimey,
he's a load.
187
00:08:16,131 --> 00:08:19,009
I may have to roll
him back to camp.
188
00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:38,278
Hey, was
ist los?
189
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,113
Open up. Open up. Schnell.
190
00:08:40,155 --> 00:08:41,448
Hello, Hans.
191
00:08:41,448 --> 00:08:42,950
We went to the dentist.
192
00:08:42,991 --> 00:08:45,160
We had a marvelous time.
193
00:08:45,202 --> 00:08:47,120
You want Klink on us?
194
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,791
Ah, Kommandant Klink,
Mr. Big Shot.
195
00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:53,043
Stop that. Stop that.
196
00:08:53,085 --> 00:08:55,087
Stop that flipping noise.
197
00:08:55,128 --> 00:08:56,296
If Klink hears us,
198
00:08:56,296 --> 00:08:58,215
he'll make all kinds of trouble
for you tomorrow.
199
00:08:58,257 --> 00:08:58,841
Shh.
200
00:09:02,761 --> 00:09:04,429
Sergeant Schultz!
201
00:09:04,471 --> 00:09:06,390
Well, here it is tomorrow.
202
00:09:06,431 --> 00:09:08,809
Hello, Big Shot.
203
00:09:10,102 --> 00:09:14,940
I mean jawohl,
Kommandant Big Shot.
204
00:09:14,982 --> 00:09:17,943
I mean, uh... forget it.
205
00:09:17,985 --> 00:09:18,986
Anything wrong?
206
00:09:18,986 --> 00:09:19,987
Never mind, Hogan.
207
00:09:19,987 --> 00:09:21,154
I thought one of my men
208
00:09:21,196 --> 00:09:22,489
might be in trouble, sir,
209
00:09:22,489 --> 00:09:23,866
but I can see
it's one of yours.
210
00:09:24,992 --> 00:09:25,951
Oh, this man
211
00:09:25,993 --> 00:09:27,661
is obviously not well, sir.
212
00:09:27,661 --> 00:09:29,329
Careful of
the fumes, sir.
213
00:09:29,329 --> 00:09:30,747
On your feet, Dummkopf.
214
00:09:34,126 --> 00:09:41,008
Request permission to fall flat
on my face if necessary.
215
00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:44,511
Seven hours ago you left this
camp to go to the dentist.
216
00:09:44,553 --> 00:09:48,307
Seven hours at the dentist?
217
00:09:48,348 --> 00:09:49,766
It was a very
big tooth, sir.
218
00:09:49,808 --> 00:09:50,976
Silence.
219
00:09:51,018 --> 00:09:54,646
Now a prisoner has
to bring you back... drunk.
220
00:09:54,688 --> 00:09:56,523
Well, at least
Newkirk is sober.
221
00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:57,983
Yes, sir.
Pity, ain't it?
222
00:09:58,025 --> 00:10:00,319
I will be sober
by tomorrow, sir.
223
00:10:00,402 --> 00:10:01,987
Oh, yes,
Schultz.
224
00:10:02,029 --> 00:10:05,574
You will also walk a guard post
outside the wire,
225
00:10:05,616 --> 00:10:09,703
back and forth,
where it's cold and lonely.
226
00:10:09,703 --> 00:10:11,455
But that will
only be temporary.
227
00:10:11,497 --> 00:10:13,499
Thank you, sir.
228
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:16,084
Until the sergeant
who replaces you
229
00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:18,086
arrives from headquarters.
230
00:10:18,128 --> 00:10:20,839
And then our favorite
drunken fool
231
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:23,050
will be transferred
to the command
232
00:10:23,091 --> 00:10:26,094
of some other lucky officer.
233
00:10:31,016 --> 00:10:33,227
Ach du lieber.
234
00:10:33,268 --> 00:10:34,520
He's gone now,
Schultz.
235
00:10:34,561 --> 00:10:36,230
It's okay to fall
on your face.
236
00:10:36,271 --> 00:10:38,524
Ach du lieber.
237
00:10:38,565 --> 00:10:40,609
♪ Ach du lieber... ♪
238
00:10:47,824 --> 00:10:50,827
Old Schultz is really
suffering out there.
239
00:10:50,869 --> 00:10:54,039
He looks like a Zeppelin
with empty gas bags.
240
00:10:54,081 --> 00:10:55,749
I talked to him
a little while ago.
241
00:10:55,749 --> 00:11:00,128
All he said was,
"Mein feet are killing me."
242
00:11:00,170 --> 00:11:02,422
Colonel, do you think Klink
will really transfer him out?
243
00:11:02,464 --> 00:11:03,549
I hope not.
244
00:11:03,590 --> 00:11:04,883
It took a long time
to train Schultz.
245
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,718
He sits up and begs
for my strudel.
246
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,428
Yeah?
247
00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:09,429
Who's this?
248
00:11:15,227 --> 00:11:17,938
Herr Kommandant,
Sergeant Ernst Krebs
249
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:20,524
reporting for duty
as ordered, sir!
250
00:11:20,566 --> 00:11:23,569
At ease, Sergeant.
251
00:11:25,571 --> 00:11:26,613
There's your answer.
252
00:11:26,655 --> 00:11:28,031
That's Schultz's replacement.
253
00:11:28,073 --> 00:11:31,118
He barks like a ruddy seal.
254
00:11:31,159 --> 00:11:33,996
Yeah, he looks
very G.I. to me.
255
00:11:34,037 --> 00:11:35,205
Let's find out.
256
00:11:35,247 --> 00:11:37,332
Try him on for
size, Carter,
257
00:11:37,374 --> 00:11:38,500
but take it easy.
258
00:11:38,542 --> 00:11:39,751
Okay.
259
00:11:39,793 --> 00:11:41,128
Things run
very smoothly
260
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:42,421
here, Sergeant.
261
00:11:42,462 --> 00:11:45,591
We have never even had
an escape at Stalag 13.
262
00:11:45,632 --> 00:11:47,259
Hiya, Colonel.
How's the boy?
263
00:11:47,301 --> 00:11:50,804
Halt!
264
00:11:50,846 --> 00:11:53,473
Is that the way you talk
to the commanding officer,
265
00:11:53,473 --> 00:11:54,433
"How's the boy?"
266
00:11:54,474 --> 00:11:55,976
Well, see,
we're old friends...
267
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,312
Come to attention!
268
00:11:58,353 --> 00:11:59,813
Eyes front.
269
00:11:59,855 --> 00:12:01,899
Salute.
270
00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:04,151
Carter, this is
a new broom.
271
00:12:04,151 --> 00:12:05,194
Well, sir...
272
00:12:05,235 --> 00:12:07,779
Do as he says,
or this new broom
273
00:12:07,821 --> 00:12:10,824
will sweep you
right into the cooler.
274
00:12:10,824 --> 00:12:11,491
Yes, sir.
275
00:12:13,243 --> 00:12:15,204
Sergeant Krebs, follow me.
276
00:12:22,586 --> 00:12:25,506
Three days before we can get
a message to London, sir?
277
00:12:25,506 --> 00:12:27,382
That's about the size of it.
278
00:12:27,424 --> 00:12:29,009
Close it up down there.
279
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,677
We got bigger troubles anyway.
280
00:12:30,677 --> 00:12:32,513
This new Sergeant
is a bloodhound.
281
00:12:32,513 --> 00:12:34,765
If we lose Schultz
and get stuck with him
282
00:12:34,806 --> 00:12:37,226
our whole operation
could be out of business.
283
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:39,520
Well, maybe we can tame him
if he likes strudel.
284
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,021
Come on,
it took us six months
285
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,773
to get Schultz
to look the other way.
286
00:12:42,814 --> 00:12:44,358
And he's got no
character at all.
287
00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,526
Watch it,
somebody's coming.
288
00:12:45,526 --> 00:12:47,110
Scramble.
289
00:12:49,279 --> 00:12:50,531
Hi, Schultz.
290
00:12:50,531 --> 00:12:51,532
How are you?
291
00:12:51,532 --> 00:12:53,784
Eight hours
I walked today.
292
00:12:53,825 --> 00:12:57,371
Come on, sit down,
Schultz, rest your bones.
293
00:12:57,371 --> 00:12:58,622
Oh. Aw.
294
00:12:58,664 --> 00:12:59,790
You all
pooped out, huh?
295
00:12:59,832 --> 00:13:01,041
Oh, I'm double pooped out.
296
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:03,585
I'm going to be pooped out
for the rest of my life.
297
00:13:03,627 --> 00:13:05,546
And tomorrow I have
to walk again.
298
00:13:05,587 --> 00:13:06,630
Oh, tough go, Schultz.
299
00:13:06,672 --> 00:13:08,340
LeBeau, please,
could I have
300
00:13:08,382 --> 00:13:11,051
some of the foot powder
the Red Cross gave you?
301
00:13:11,093 --> 00:13:12,594
Sure.
302
00:13:12,636 --> 00:13:14,763
One thing
I don't understand...
303
00:13:14,805 --> 00:13:18,225
How could I get so drunk
on one glass of beer?
304
00:13:18,225 --> 00:13:21,186
Never drink on an
empty stomach, Schultz.
305
00:13:21,228 --> 00:13:22,563
You call this empty?
306
00:13:22,729 --> 00:13:24,147
Cheer, up, Schultz.
307
00:13:24,189 --> 00:13:26,984
Maybe they'll send you
to a good post.
308
00:13:27,025 --> 00:13:29,403
Or maybe they're going to
send me to the Russian Front.
309
00:13:29,444 --> 00:13:31,905
If they transfer you
close to home,
310
00:13:31,905 --> 00:13:34,908
you'll be able to see
your wife more often.
311
00:13:34,950 --> 00:13:39,079
All of a sudden the Russian
Front sounds very good.
312
00:13:41,498 --> 00:13:44,710
Any of you fellas got
a cigarette for a buddy?
313
00:13:44,751 --> 00:13:46,753
Yeah, here, old buddy.
314
00:13:46,753 --> 00:13:48,172
Light?
315
00:13:48,213 --> 00:13:49,715
Oh, here, here.
316
00:13:54,553 --> 00:13:57,389
Well, I'll see
you men all later, huh?
317
00:13:57,431 --> 00:14:01,810
Hold it.
Hold it.
318
00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:02,853
Who is this?
319
00:14:02,895 --> 00:14:04,438
Captain Jeb Winslow.
320
00:14:04,479 --> 00:14:06,106
Guten abend, buddy.
321
00:14:06,148 --> 00:14:07,566
Nice to meet you.
322
00:14:07,608 --> 00:14:09,985
Well, auf Wiedersehen, y'all.
323
00:14:10,027 --> 00:14:11,028
Halt. Hold it.
324
00:14:11,069 --> 00:14:14,114
Schultz, what about
another cup of coffee.
325
00:14:14,156 --> 00:14:15,282
Go away.
326
00:14:15,282 --> 00:14:16,783
A nice cup
of foot powder?
327
00:14:16,783 --> 00:14:17,784
Ah-ha, Winslow.
328
00:14:17,826 --> 00:14:20,120
He was never on
the roll call.
329
00:14:20,162 --> 00:14:22,915
Schultz, he's only
passing through.
330
00:14:22,956 --> 00:14:23,790
Ah-ha, a spy.
331
00:14:24,082 --> 00:14:25,292
In uniform?
332
00:14:25,292 --> 00:14:27,961
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
333
00:14:28,003 --> 00:14:33,675
There was a plane shot down
near Dusseldorf the other day.
334
00:14:33,717 --> 00:14:34,968
They got my gas tank.
335
00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:37,137
I was coming for
a strafing real...
336
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,972
All right, Captain,
pipe down.
337
00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:41,683
This is my lucky break.
338
00:14:41,725 --> 00:14:42,935
How do you figure that?
339
00:14:42,976 --> 00:14:45,145
Well, if I turn him in to Klink,
340
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:47,981
he's going to tear up
my transfer papers.
341
00:14:47,981 --> 00:14:49,650
Good thinking, Schultz.
342
00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:52,778
Yeah, my feet might be
dead, but not my brain.
343
00:14:52,819 --> 00:14:55,155
Fine, and when Klink
starts to figure out
344
00:14:55,197 --> 00:14:58,659
how he got into camp while you
were Sergeant of the Guard,
345
00:14:58,659 --> 00:15:01,078
you get a chance
to use your brain again...
346
00:15:01,119 --> 00:15:02,412
At your court-martial.
347
00:15:02,496 --> 00:15:03,997
Please, don't confuse me.
348
00:15:03,997 --> 00:15:06,166
Face it, buddy,
you're up the creek.
349
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:09,044
No matter what I do,
I cannot be smart.
350
00:15:09,086 --> 00:15:11,004
But I have to turn him in.
351
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,297
Go, go, go.
352
00:15:12,339 --> 00:15:14,007
Schultz, we'll work a deal
with you.
353
00:15:14,007 --> 00:15:15,008
Forget you saw him,
354
00:15:15,050 --> 00:15:16,718
and we'll get rid
of Sergeant Krebs.
355
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,512
That way Klink
will have to keep you.
356
00:15:18,554 --> 00:15:19,680
How can you do that?
357
00:15:19,721 --> 00:15:20,889
We'll think of something.
358
00:15:20,931 --> 00:15:23,225
But, but, but...
Klink already signed
359
00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:24,351
my transfer papers.
360
00:15:24,351 --> 00:15:26,144
Corporal Langenscheidt told me.
361
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:27,896
He signed them,
but they never left camp.
362
00:15:27,938 --> 00:15:29,022
How do you know?
363
00:15:29,022 --> 00:15:30,691
Mm-hmm.
364
00:15:31,859 --> 00:15:34,444
"Name:
365
00:15:34,486 --> 00:15:36,530
"Schultz, Hans.
366
00:15:36,572 --> 00:15:39,199
Rank: sergeant, grade one..."
367
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:40,868
Radio? You found a radio?
368
00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:42,703
That's against regulations.
369
00:15:42,703 --> 00:15:44,621
Shh. I wouldn't
tell you this,
370
00:15:44,663 --> 00:15:46,206
except you're a new man,
371
00:15:46,248 --> 00:15:49,710
and I'd like to see you make
a few points with Klink.
372
00:15:49,751 --> 00:15:51,336
Where is this radio?
373
00:15:55,924 --> 00:15:57,217
Yeah...
374
00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:58,218
Homemade.
375
00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,636
That's the best kind.
376
00:15:59,678 --> 00:16:02,306
Somebody will get
the cooler for this.
377
00:16:02,347 --> 00:16:03,473
It works on a battery.
378
00:16:03,515 --> 00:16:04,766
Very clever.
379
00:16:04,808 --> 00:16:08,478
Klink will love
you for this.
380
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,063
Sehr gut.
381
00:16:10,105 --> 00:16:11,315
I won't forget it.
382
00:16:13,692 --> 00:16:16,737
I know you won't... pal.
383
00:16:16,778 --> 00:16:20,657
So, our new broom,
Sergeant Krebs, sweeps again.
384
00:16:20,699 --> 00:16:22,492
Danke, Herr Kommandant.
I try.
385
00:16:22,534 --> 00:16:26,330
I shall start
an investigation right away.
386
00:16:26,371 --> 00:16:27,581
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
387
00:16:27,623 --> 00:16:29,124
Obviously homemade.
388
00:16:29,166 --> 00:16:30,667
It is amazing to me
389
00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:34,755
how ingenious these prisoners
can be when they try.
390
00:16:34,796 --> 00:16:35,923
Jawohl, that is true, sir.
391
00:16:44,932 --> 00:16:46,683
Yes...
392
00:16:46,725 --> 00:16:50,020
very ingenious.
393
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:59,196
Hello. Hello, Colonel.
394
00:16:59,238 --> 00:17:02,282
Can you hear me?
395
00:17:02,324 --> 00:17:04,785
Hello.
Colonel Hogan.
396
00:17:04,785 --> 00:17:05,744
This is Kinch.
397
00:17:05,786 --> 00:17:07,120
Can you read me?
398
00:17:07,162 --> 00:17:08,413
Hello, Colonel.
399
00:17:08,455 --> 00:17:10,123
If you can hear me,
400
00:17:10,123 --> 00:17:12,960
the tunnel is too near
the surface.
401
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:16,255
Hello, Colonel.
402
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,924
Colonel. Hello.
403
00:17:23,804 --> 00:17:25,639
Are you sure this is
the spot, Sergeant?
404
00:17:25,639 --> 00:17:26,640
Ja, Herr Kommandant.
405
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,642
He was talking to someone
under the ground.
406
00:17:28,642 --> 00:17:31,144
Incredible.
Simply incredible.
407
00:17:31,144 --> 00:17:32,312
Kommandant...
408
00:17:32,354 --> 00:17:33,480
step over here.
409
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,233
You can still see his
handprints in the dirt.
410
00:17:36,275 --> 00:17:38,360
Ah-ha, now we're
getting somewhere.
411
00:17:43,657 --> 00:17:45,492
Confirm pickup point
M-12, 48 hours.
412
00:17:45,534 --> 00:17:48,203
Well, the Lone Ranger's going
home to his squadron, men.
413
00:17:48,245 --> 00:17:50,330
How do we get him out
of camp, Colonel?
414
00:17:50,372 --> 00:17:51,415
The emergency tunnel.
415
00:17:51,456 --> 00:17:53,667
With Sergeant Krebs
on our backs every minute?
416
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:55,169
Mm-hmm.
417
00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:56,712
Yes, what do we
do about him?
418
00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:58,755
Every night he does
a little listening
419
00:17:58,797 --> 00:18:00,174
outside
the windows, right?
420
00:18:01,216 --> 00:18:03,010
Tonight he's going
to hear something,
421
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,761
and then we'll be on
his back for a change.
422
00:18:11,435 --> 00:18:14,188
Hey, Newkirk, I just
spoke to the colonel.
423
00:18:14,229 --> 00:18:15,230
What's up?
424
00:18:15,314 --> 00:18:16,607
LeBEAU:
Tomorrow night.
425
00:18:16,648 --> 00:18:18,400
Tomorrow night? Where?
426
00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:19,359
LeBEAU:
From here.
427
00:18:19,401 --> 00:18:21,904
Let me see if I've
got that right.
428
00:18:21,945 --> 00:18:23,906
Tomorrow night from here?
429
00:18:23,947 --> 00:18:25,866
Hi, fellas.
What's cooking?
430
00:18:25,908 --> 00:18:27,201
Shh.
Shh.
431
00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:29,661
LeBeau just got the word.
Tomorrow night.
432
00:18:29,703 --> 00:18:31,288
- No kidding?
- Tomorrow night?
433
00:18:31,455 --> 00:18:31,914
LeBEAU:
From here.
434
00:18:31,955 --> 00:18:33,415
No kidding?
435
00:18:33,457 --> 00:18:34,374
Tomorrow night?
From here?
436
00:18:34,416 --> 00:18:35,584
Check.
437
00:18:35,626 --> 00:18:36,293
Check.
438
00:18:36,335 --> 00:18:37,544
Check.
439
00:18:37,586 --> 00:18:38,629
Check.
440
00:18:43,342 --> 00:18:44,259
Guten tag.
441
00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:45,427
Oh, hi, Sarge.
442
00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:49,056
Hey, listen, I'm really sorry
about that trick radio.
443
00:18:49,097 --> 00:18:52,100
Why, the guys really
pulled a fast one on me.
444
00:18:52,142 --> 00:18:54,353
Ja, ja, well, I
give you chance
445
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:55,896
to make up for that.
446
00:18:55,896 --> 00:18:58,315
I, uh... I need
some information.
447
00:18:58,357 --> 00:18:59,399
What do you mean?
448
00:18:59,441 --> 00:19:00,567
I've heard a rumor
449
00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:02,986
there is something on
for tonight.
450
00:19:03,028 --> 00:19:05,239
Do you know anything
about this?
451
00:19:05,239 --> 00:19:06,949
You mean like an escape?
452
00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:08,534
Possibly.
453
00:19:08,575 --> 00:19:11,620
Where do you come off asking me
a question like that?
454
00:19:11,662 --> 00:19:13,539
Just because
I turned a radio in,
455
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:16,041
don't think I'm going
to rat on my buddies.
456
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,918
Now, you get this straight, pal,
457
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:19,753
I'm no fink
and don't ever forget it.
458
00:19:19,753 --> 00:19:20,921
Take it easy.
459
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:22,506
What a nerve.
460
00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:24,591
Oh, by the way, Sarge,
461
00:19:24,591 --> 00:19:26,593
if I don't ever see you again
after tonight,
462
00:19:26,635 --> 00:19:28,053
it's been a real pleasure
knowing you.
463
00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:41,608
He's posting the guard.
464
00:19:41,608 --> 00:19:43,110
All right,
he'll be here in a minute.
465
00:19:43,151 --> 00:19:44,570
He'll stick with us,
you can bet on that.
466
00:19:44,611 --> 00:19:45,779
Everybody got
the plan straight?
467
00:19:45,779 --> 00:19:47,447
Yeah, the captain gets
in the tunnel and waits.
468
00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:48,740
As soon as the alarm goes,
469
00:19:48,782 --> 00:19:49,783
I guide him through
to the woods.
470
00:19:49,825 --> 00:19:51,285
Right. Now make sure
Krebs is out of the way
471
00:19:51,285 --> 00:19:52,536
before you move.
472
00:19:52,578 --> 00:19:54,121
Carter, you and LeBeau
get in my office
473
00:19:54,163 --> 00:19:55,455
as soon as you can.
474
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,124
We'll use the window
to get out. Right.
475
00:19:57,124 --> 00:20:00,043
Ah-ha. I'm going back
to little old England.
476
00:20:00,085 --> 00:20:01,086
And next time
you're captured,
477
00:20:01,128 --> 00:20:03,130
find yourself
another POW camp.
478
00:20:03,172 --> 00:20:04,965
He made me barbecue
K rations for him.
479
00:20:05,007 --> 00:20:07,467
Americans.
480
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,635
He's moving this way.
481
00:20:08,677 --> 00:20:10,721
All right, Lone Ranger,
hide in the tunnel.
482
00:20:10,762 --> 00:20:12,890
Hi-ho, Silver.
483
00:20:14,308 --> 00:20:15,475
Newkirk, get started.
484
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:16,435
Right.
485
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:17,519
Now, let me show
you a trick.
486
00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:18,979
All right.
487
00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:20,981
This one is always
a crowd pleaser.
488
00:20:20,981 --> 00:20:22,316
Take a card.
489
00:20:22,316 --> 00:20:23,442
Guten abend,
gentlemen.
490
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:24,818
Put it back.
I don't want to see it.
491
00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:25,652
I don't want to see it.
Okay.
492
00:20:25,694 --> 00:20:26,445
All right?
Yeah.
493
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:27,654
Very quiet
this evening, huh?
494
00:20:27,696 --> 00:20:29,489
Right.
Go ahead.
495
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,825
Oh, that's fabulous.
How do you do it?
496
00:20:31,825 --> 00:20:34,495
Evening. Evening.
Oh, that's great.
497
00:20:34,495 --> 00:20:36,330
Oh, how's that...?
498
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:37,915
Hello, hello,
hello, hello.
499
00:20:37,956 --> 00:20:40,626
I thought there
was one missing.
500
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:42,044
That's too much!
Too much!
501
00:20:42,085 --> 00:20:44,421
I tell you, this man's
a walking deck of cards.
502
00:20:44,463 --> 00:20:45,464
Can you believe it?
503
00:20:45,506 --> 00:20:46,423
Let me show you.
504
00:20:46,465 --> 00:20:47,633
You'll like this trick.
505
00:20:47,674 --> 00:20:48,675
Do that again.
506
00:20:48,717 --> 00:20:49,676
Come here.
Now watch this.
507
00:20:49,676 --> 00:20:50,844
I want you to take
any card at all.
508
00:20:50,886 --> 00:20:51,845
Come here,
any card at all.
509
00:20:51,845 --> 00:20:53,847
Any card.
510
00:20:53,847 --> 00:20:54,848
Don't let me see it.
511
00:20:54,848 --> 00:20:56,058
I don't want
to see it, right.
512
00:20:56,099 --> 00:20:57,601
Right, put it back,
put it back.
513
00:20:57,643 --> 00:20:58,602
I put it back.
514
00:20:58,644 --> 00:21:00,479
Just remember it,
right, put it back.
515
00:21:00,521 --> 00:21:01,939
Mix them up.
There you go.
516
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:03,774
I'm going to think
of that card.
517
00:21:03,815 --> 00:21:06,235
Think of that
card. Right.
518
00:21:06,276 --> 00:21:07,528
Cut 'em once.
519
00:21:07,569 --> 00:21:10,113
That's your card,
isn't it?
520
00:21:10,155 --> 00:21:11,865
Listen, there must be
a trick to that, huh?
521
00:21:11,865 --> 00:21:13,700
Oh, I never said there wasn't
a trick to it, did I?
522
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:14,701
Do it again.
523
00:21:19,998 --> 00:21:21,667
Was it the eight
of diamonds?
524
00:21:21,708 --> 00:21:23,710
Ja, it was the
eight of diamonds.
525
00:21:23,710 --> 00:21:24,503
Isn't that fantastic?
526
00:21:32,886 --> 00:21:33,929
Do it... do it again.
Do it again.
527
00:21:34,263 --> 00:21:35,222
Do it again.
528
00:21:35,264 --> 00:21:36,223
Okay, all right.
529
00:21:36,265 --> 00:21:37,391
You have nothing
up your...?
530
00:21:40,561 --> 00:21:42,563
Halt.
531
00:21:42,604 --> 00:21:44,648
Hold it, Schultz, it's only us.
532
00:21:44,690 --> 00:21:47,609
What are you doing here?
533
00:21:47,651 --> 00:21:48,735
We're escaping, buddy.
534
00:21:48,735 --> 00:21:50,153
And you're going
to catch us.
535
00:21:50,195 --> 00:21:51,530
I am?
536
00:21:51,572 --> 00:21:53,866
Then Klink forgets the transfer,
and you're a big shot.
537
00:21:53,907 --> 00:21:56,243
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Start yelling,
Schultz, for the dogs.
538
00:21:56,243 --> 00:21:57,244
No, no, no.
539
00:21:57,244 --> 00:22:00,497
With my luck, nothing works.
540
00:22:00,539 --> 00:22:02,666
Some people.
You try to help 'em, huh?
541
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:04,585
All right, you guys
start yelling.
542
00:22:04,626 --> 00:22:05,752
Commandant!
543
00:22:05,752 --> 00:22:07,671
Quiet. You'll wake Klink up.
544
00:22:07,713 --> 00:22:09,339
Quit making trouble. Quiet!
545
00:22:15,262 --> 00:22:17,431
It must be an escape.
546
00:22:17,472 --> 00:22:18,098
An escape?
547
00:22:22,603 --> 00:22:23,729
Kinch!
548
00:22:35,073 --> 00:22:37,743
Quiet! Quiet!
549
00:22:37,784 --> 00:22:39,161
Quiet!
550
00:22:46,001 --> 00:22:48,420
What is this?
551
00:22:48,462 --> 00:22:49,713
We were to trying to escape,
552
00:22:49,755 --> 00:22:51,173
and this rat, Schultz,
caught us.
553
00:22:51,215 --> 00:22:54,510
Yes, Herr Kommandant,
this rat, Schultz, caught them.
554
00:22:54,551 --> 00:22:55,969
If not for him,
we would have made it.
555
00:22:56,011 --> 00:22:57,471
Bah. Cochon.
556
00:22:57,554 --> 00:22:59,723
Boy, a guy hasn't got
a chance with him around.
557
00:22:59,765 --> 00:23:01,475
Herr Kommandant.
558
00:23:01,475 --> 00:23:02,768
Herr Kommandant.
559
00:23:02,809 --> 00:23:06,063
Herr Kommandant,
there has been an escape.
560
00:23:06,104 --> 00:23:10,776
Thank you for that interesting
news bulletin, Sergeant.
561
00:23:10,817 --> 00:23:12,319
Happy landings, Captain.
562
00:23:12,361 --> 00:23:13,570
Thanks, old buddy.
563
00:23:13,612 --> 00:23:15,072
See you in Fort Worth.
564
00:23:20,452 --> 00:23:22,246
Why didn't you know
about this, Sergeant?
565
00:23:22,287 --> 00:23:23,330
Sir, I had information
566
00:23:23,330 --> 00:23:25,374
the escape would take place
from the barracks.
567
00:23:25,415 --> 00:23:26,416
I was watching there.
568
00:23:26,458 --> 00:23:28,210
You fool, that
was a diversion.
569
00:23:28,252 --> 00:23:29,670
This is the real escape.
570
00:23:29,670 --> 00:23:31,171
I'm sorry,
Herr Kommandant.
571
00:23:31,213 --> 00:23:33,257
Being sorry does not
prevent escapes.
572
00:23:33,298 --> 00:23:34,800
You are hereby
relieved of duty,
573
00:23:34,842 --> 00:23:36,718
and you will be transferred
out of here at once.
574
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,011
Dismissed.
575
00:23:38,053 --> 00:23:41,223
Schultz, you will resume
as Sergeant of the Guard.
576
00:23:41,265 --> 00:23:43,559
Now, your transfer
is being revoked.
577
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,185
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
578
00:23:45,227 --> 00:23:46,854
Colonel, I protest.
579
00:23:46,895 --> 00:23:48,021
This man is inhuman.
580
00:23:48,063 --> 00:23:50,899
He's a monster with eyes
in the back of his head.
581
00:23:50,941 --> 00:23:52,651
And the pair in
front ain't bad either.
582
00:23:53,026 --> 00:23:54,111
Silence.
583
00:23:54,152 --> 00:23:56,363
Gentlemen, your protests
are music to my ears.
584
00:23:56,405 --> 00:23:58,073
We need men like
Sergeant Schultz
585
00:23:58,115 --> 00:24:00,951
to maintain the reputation
of Stalag 13.
586
00:24:00,993 --> 00:24:03,704
Schultz, Hogan is confined
to the barracks,
587
00:24:03,745 --> 00:24:06,874
and these two idiots
get two weeks in the cooler.
588
00:24:06,874 --> 00:24:08,125
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
589
00:24:14,506 --> 00:24:16,175
Congratulations,
Schultz, we did it.
590
00:24:16,216 --> 00:24:17,885
Right, we got your
transfer canceled.
591
00:24:19,219 --> 00:24:21,430
All right, let's go!
592
00:24:21,471 --> 00:24:24,641
One wrong step and I'll shoot.
593
00:24:24,683 --> 00:24:26,852
Get him, will you?
594
00:24:26,894 --> 00:24:29,855
How quickly they forget.
595
00:24:29,897 --> 00:24:31,690
Back! Back! Back!
40004
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