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1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:02,801
♪♪
2
00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:03,802
[ blender whirs ]
3
00:00:03,938 --> 00:00:05,337
Big day!
4
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,539
Not only am I about
to crack the recipe
5
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,407
For an at-home
orange julius,
6
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,009
It's also hamster day!
7
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,611
I'm adopting a hamster.
8
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:15,213
The lady is coming
to drop it off right now!
9
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,481
Oh, that's fun.
10
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,350
It's always so fun
with you.
11
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,819
Say, uh, remind me
to do something in five minutes.
12
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,020
What do you have to do?
13
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,755
Something.
Don't worry about it.
14
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,558
Just tell me when it's been
five minutes, geez.
15
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,961
I'm insane busy.
16
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:30,629
Just set a timer
on your phone.
17
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,096
This is a game boy.
18
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,432
Stan confiscated
my phone
19
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,367
Because I didn't take out
the trash.
20
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,103
That shouldn't be my job.
It takes me all weekend.
21
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,738
[ doorbell rings ]
eeeee!
22
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,642
Hayley smith?
My hamster!
23
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,510
No, not yours yet.
24
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,579
I need to take
a quick look around first.
25
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,315
Oh! Didn't realize
this wasn't a done dealio.
26
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,784
Ya know,
I thought about buying one,
27
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:53,452
But just
couldn't do it.
28
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,988
Had to rescue.
We appreciate it.
29
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,722
Me too!
Free hamster!
30
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:01,226
Like, I have money,
but I don't have hamster money.
31
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:05,063
Oh, wow,
what happened here?
32
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,931
Science, art...
33
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,801
Magic.
34
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:11,936
I'm about to disrupt
the entire orange julius sector
35
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,339
On a grand scale.
36
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,740
Are you stoned?
37
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,210
Yeah, but I could go again
if you want to.
38
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,278
I call it
"hayley julius."
39
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,214
Shouldn't it be
"orange hayley"?
40
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,149
Uh, no.
41
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,218
Julius is
the money word.
42
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,220
I'm going to be
so rich in business.
43
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:31,089
I see.
Wait till you see
in your mouth!
44
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:35,160
[ retches ]
thissa tastes like cacca!
45
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,761
I cannot leave this hamster
with you.
46
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:37,962
What?! Why?!
47
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,498
If I'm being honest,
48
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,233
You're not ready to take care
of anyone or anything.
49
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:42,835
You seem like a big child.
50
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,903
I am an adult woman!
51
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:46,705
No, you're not!
52
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,308
No. No, she's not.
53
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,713
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
54
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:58,450
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
55
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,053
♪ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
56
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:05,757
♪ and he's shinin' a salute
to the american race ♪
57
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:10,795
♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
58
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,532
♪ good -- ♪
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
59
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,600
Aah!
60
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,338
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
61
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,074
Let's circle back
after japan.
62
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,475
Ojama shimashta.
63
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,343
[ cellphone beeps,
keyboard clicks ]
64
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,011
Hayley, whatever this is,
I can't.
65
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,681
I got 12 deals
to close by eod.
66
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,949
I am shook!
67
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,817
People don't see me
as an adult.
68
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,419
I'm an adult, right?
69
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,621
This hamster lady said
I was a big child.
70
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:37,956
Is it 'cause
I'm trying to do
71
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:39,424
All the "hayley julius"
stuff?
72
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,692
It's certainly not helping.
73
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,028
♪ I've had the time of my life ♪
74
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,029
[ door slams ]
75
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,564
Speaking of big children...
76
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,433
My 13-year-old
daughter gilda
77
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,302
Is home from
swiss boarding school.
78
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,836
All she does
is sit in her room
79
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,705
And watch "dirty dancing"
over and over.
80
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,507
Love "dirty dancing."
81
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,842
Great movie,
sexy as hell.
82
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,711
Don't be disgusting.
83
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,379
But yeah, someone
should talk to her.
Not me, of course.
84
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,115
I have my hands full
with all my deals.
85
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:04,316
My smoking hot wife,
86
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,250
Her smoking hot mom,
is dead.
87
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:07,652
Great woman,
jewish woman.
88
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,254
She wanted gilda
raised jewish,
89
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,589
But I'm raising her
nothing
90
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,324
Because I just don't have
the time.
91
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:13,925
To raise her
or to talk to her.
92
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,794
This is quite a story.
93
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,062
My daughter is going
through something, probably.
94
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,598
Sounds like definitely.
95
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,733
Yeah, gonna have
my assistant send her an email.
96
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:22,734
Hi, devante.
97
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,269
Send gilda an email
98
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,138
With the message,
"walk it off."
wait!
99
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,540
This is the perfect thing
for me to do!
100
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,342
Okay...
Do you have her email?
101
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,144
I don't,
but I'll have devante forward.
102
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,545
Roger--
barney bux.
103
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,480
It sounds like
this girl --
gilda.
104
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,015
Which is also you,
I assume?
105
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,817
Yes, it is me, but
I don't want to belabor that.
106
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,284
Wasn't going to.
107
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,619
You said your
13-year-old daughter is
108
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,755
Very into "dirty dancing"
all of a sudden?
109
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,690
Uhh, paging dr. Hayley.
110
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:48,560
Diagnosis -- tweenage
sexual awakening.
111
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:51,229
Sounds like gilda
just needs a super cool,
112
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,498
Adult woman
to be there for her.
113
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:56,168
Something that I am.
114
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,569
Owie!
115
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,638
[ keyboard clicks,
text message sends ]
116
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,307
'sup? I'm hayley.
117
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:06,244
"dirty dancing."
noice.
118
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,579
Just came by to chat.
119
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,714
Uh, would you mind
pausing the movie?
120
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,583
After this part.
This is a good part.
121
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,386
The good parts start at
the beginning and go to the end.
122
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,054
Damn right they do.
123
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,590
Baby's dad is mad,
but he just doesn't understand.
124
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:20,993
Shh. This is where
she goes swimming.
125
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,394
In shorts.
126
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,263
Ah, jennifer grey
is laughing so much
127
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,798
When he tickles
her armpit.
128
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,133
Do we think
that was scripted?
129
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:31,803
It feels...Very real.
130
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:36,875
♪ I've had the time of my life ♪
131
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,411
Baby's sister
can't sing for shit.
132
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,279
I heard, when they
finished shooting,
133
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,481
The cast had a huge
water balloon fight.
134
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,885
Jerry orbach got hit in the face
and did not take it well.
135
00:04:51,702 --> 00:04:53,635
So, what's up with
all the "dirty dancing"?
136
00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:55,303
Nothing is up with it.
I watch it.
137
00:04:55,305 --> 00:04:57,105
You don't have to be
embarrassed.
138
00:04:57,241 --> 00:04:58,773
I'm cool.
I "get it."
139
00:04:58,909 --> 00:05:01,175
Okay?
And I'll never judge you.
140
00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:03,712
You're 13, you're having
some new feelings...
141
00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:05,580
That's not it.
Of course it is.
142
00:05:05,715 --> 00:05:07,916
It's like,
one day you're a potato,
143
00:05:07,918 --> 00:05:09,918
And the next,
you're electric.
144
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,387
All you wanna do is dance
while wearing crop tops
145
00:05:12,522 --> 00:05:13,988
And high heels
and tights...
146
00:05:14,124 --> 00:05:16,124
See, but you don't have
any freakin' tights.
147
00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:18,660
And your mom's heels
don't fit your extra wide feet.
148
00:05:18,795 --> 00:05:21,930
It's like trying to shove
a steak into a keyhole.
149
00:05:22,065 --> 00:05:23,531
But crop tops?
150
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,066
Crop tops you can do.
151
00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:27,335
Crop tops
could be your thing!
152
00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:28,937
I guess they could be?
153
00:05:28,939 --> 00:05:30,872
They're my thing,
and I'm still speaking.
154
00:05:31,007 --> 00:05:34,276
Ohh, every time the wind
brushes your belly button,
155
00:05:34,411 --> 00:05:37,479
You still hear the immortal
words of patrick swayze --
156
00:05:37,614 --> 00:05:39,748
Not the actor,
the lyricist --
157
00:05:39,883 --> 00:05:42,750
Singing
"she's like the wind."
158
00:05:42,752 --> 00:05:45,019
And these feelings of yours
are normal.
159
00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:46,821
Okay, but --
but you're scared!
160
00:05:46,957 --> 00:05:48,823
Because you don't have a clue
what you're doing!
161
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:50,825
And that's why
I'm here.
162
00:05:50,961 --> 00:05:54,428
To help you, guide you,
teach you, not preach you,
163
00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:55,563
About what
you're fascinated by,
164
00:05:55,699 --> 00:05:58,032
But also scared of.
165
00:05:58,034 --> 00:05:59,735
Let's talk boys.
166
00:06:01,171 --> 00:06:02,370
You wanna kiss 'em?
167
00:06:02,372 --> 00:06:03,905
Well, I --
well, you can't!
168
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,374
Gilda, come on, there's
an order to these things --
169
00:06:06,376 --> 00:06:07,909
Step one, step two,
step three.
170
00:06:08,044 --> 00:06:10,979
It goes -- talk to boy,
get to know boy, then kiss boy.
171
00:06:10,981 --> 00:06:12,647
It's the whole reason
why we're here!
172
00:06:12,782 --> 00:06:14,649
On earth?
At the mall.
173
00:06:14,784 --> 00:06:16,118
[ boy shouting indistinctly ]
174
00:06:16,252 --> 00:06:17,519
[ boys laughing ]
175
00:06:17,654 --> 00:06:18,520
Fountain boys.
176
00:06:18,655 --> 00:06:19,721
Which one do you like?
177
00:06:19,856 --> 00:06:20,922
I don't like
any of them.
178
00:06:21,057 --> 00:06:22,390
I don't wanna be
at this mall.
179
00:06:22,526 --> 00:06:23,791
You're acting so ashamed
180
00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:25,660
Of your normal,
healthy feelings!
181
00:06:25,662 --> 00:06:27,129
Get it together.
182
00:06:28,398 --> 00:06:32,266
♪ hungry eyes ♪
183
00:06:32,402 --> 00:06:35,737
♪ one look at you and I can't disguise ♪
184
00:06:35,872 --> 00:06:37,872
♪ I've got hun-- ♪
185
00:06:38,008 --> 00:06:39,741
The one
in the pokemon shirt.
186
00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:43,144
That's charizard.
So you know he's a little edgy.
187
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:44,145
Gilda?
188
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,613
Help me!
189
00:06:45,615 --> 00:06:47,682
I lost the girl I was supposed
to be taking care of!
190
00:06:47,817 --> 00:06:49,283
Big hair?
Nerd vibe?
191
00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,486
She followed the pastor
into the church.
192
00:06:51,621 --> 00:06:52,820
Church?
What church?
193
00:06:52,822 --> 00:06:54,356
You're in
a church's chicken.
194
00:06:54,491 --> 00:06:57,491
There's always a church in
the back of a church's chicken.
195
00:06:57,493 --> 00:06:59,161
Oh.
I didn't know that.
196
00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:00,695
If I'm being honest,
197
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,798
You seem like
you don't know much.
198
00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:07,301
Gilda! You can't just wander
off like that. I was worried.
199
00:07:07,437 --> 00:07:09,303
I found the boy I like.
200
00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:15,977
♪ with these hungry eyes ♪
201
00:07:16,112 --> 00:07:18,046
Uhh...
That's a man.
202
00:07:18,181 --> 00:07:19,981
I'm going to talk to him,
get to know him,
203
00:07:20,116 --> 00:07:21,315
And then
I'm going to kiss him.
204
00:07:21,451 --> 00:07:22,450
Just like you said.
205
00:07:22,452 --> 00:07:23,585
Jesus christ.
206
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,688
No, ya idiot!
He's just a pastor.
207
00:07:28,892 --> 00:07:31,192
[ "hungry eyes" playing ]
208
00:07:32,762 --> 00:07:35,096
God is everywhere!
209
00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:36,298
M'kay?
210
00:07:36,432 --> 00:07:38,566
There. There.
211
00:07:38,568 --> 00:07:40,902
There. Over here.
212
00:07:41,037 --> 00:07:42,170
Under there.
213
00:07:42,305 --> 00:07:44,238
He's amazing
at preaching.
214
00:07:44,374 --> 00:07:46,374
I'm sorry,
but this church is super weird.
215
00:07:46,510 --> 00:07:49,643
It's not even Sunday.
It's open every single day?
216
00:07:49,645 --> 00:07:51,579
And we just keep coming?
What's that about?
217
00:07:51,715 --> 00:07:55,316
Your guidance brought me here,
I'm now shame-free!
218
00:07:55,451 --> 00:07:58,320
I like the pastor.
I like him like him.
219
00:07:58,454 --> 00:07:59,453
Awesome.
220
00:07:59,589 --> 00:08:00,788
God is good.
221
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,190
He should do good things.
222
00:08:02,325 --> 00:08:04,592
You should do good things.
223
00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:06,194
Good grief.
Wow!
224
00:08:06,329 --> 00:08:08,663
I'm gonna do lots
of good things.
225
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:10,932
Starting with step one.
Eeeee!
226
00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:13,201
And now, "amazing grace."
227
00:08:14,137 --> 00:08:18,206
♪ amazing grace ♪
228
00:08:18,341 --> 00:08:22,343
♪ how sweet the sound ♪
229
00:08:22,478 --> 00:08:24,812
Order 579 is ready,
check your tickets, please.
230
00:08:24,814 --> 00:08:29,150
♪ that saved a wretch ♪
231
00:08:29,285 --> 00:08:31,953
♪ like meeee ♪
232
00:08:32,088 --> 00:08:33,021
579, order's up.
233
00:08:33,156 --> 00:08:35,624
♪ eeeeee ♪
234
00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:38,292
Let's go.
No!
235
00:08:38,428 --> 00:08:41,028
We've been here three times,
and I'm still on step zero!
236
00:08:41,030 --> 00:08:42,630
That's totally fine!
237
00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:43,898
Thanks for being
patient with me
238
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:45,233
While I get up
the courage to do
239
00:08:45,235 --> 00:08:46,968
The thing you said
I should do.
240
00:08:47,103 --> 00:08:48,770
Well, you know --
I know I can do this!
241
00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:50,638
I'm doing it!
242
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,606
Hi.
243
00:08:52,776 --> 00:08:55,977
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
I did it!
244
00:08:56,112 --> 00:08:57,579
I'm out of control!
245
00:08:57,714 --> 00:08:59,981
All of that
going to church stuff was cool,
246
00:09:00,116 --> 00:09:02,716
But now it's time
to stop doing that, right?
247
00:09:02,718 --> 00:09:03,985
Wrong!
248
00:09:05,321 --> 00:09:07,188
Strawberry chapstick
is a little forward...
249
00:09:07,323 --> 00:09:09,257
Root beer
is too funky...
250
00:09:09,259 --> 00:09:12,394
But blue razz says
quiet sophistication.
251
00:09:12,528 --> 00:09:13,461
Oh!
252
00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:15,263
What if
we had a sleepover
253
00:09:15,265 --> 00:09:17,599
And ate fruit roll-ups
until we puked?
254
00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:18,600
Nah.
255
00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:22,203
Step one is done,
step two is "get to know him,"
256
00:09:22,338 --> 00:09:24,338
And I already know him
profoundly,
257
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:26,073
So I guess it's on
to step three --
258
00:09:26,075 --> 00:09:27,409
Kiss him!
259
00:09:27,543 --> 00:09:29,611
Ahhhh! I've never been
more ready for anything!
260
00:09:29,745 --> 00:09:31,078
[ hyperventilating ]
261
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,947
Gilda,
you don't know him.
262
00:09:32,949 --> 00:09:34,416
You don't know
anything about him.
263
00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:35,417
Uh, yes, I do.
264
00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:36,951
I know his address,
265
00:09:37,086 --> 00:09:39,153
How to undo the latch on the
gate of his apartment complex,
266
00:09:39,289 --> 00:09:42,290
His unit number, and
where he keeps his spare key.
267
00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:43,557
Tonight's the night.
268
00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:45,026
I'm going to be
with a man,
269
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:46,094
Just like you said.
270
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,895
I didn't say that!
[ scoffs ]
271
00:09:48,031 --> 00:09:51,966
Roger, seriously, you can't have
gilda go after a grown man.
272
00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:53,234
I'm doing this for you.
273
00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:54,902
So you can prove
you're an adult.
274
00:09:55,038 --> 00:09:56,770
Don't make me
break character again!
275
00:09:56,772 --> 00:09:57,905
I am an adult.
276
00:09:57,907 --> 00:09:59,507
Well, I am in love.
277
00:09:59,643 --> 00:10:01,509
And you said
you'd never judge me.
278
00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:03,577
It sounds like
you are judging me.
279
00:10:03,713 --> 00:10:06,314
What?! No! Never!
280
00:10:06,449 --> 00:10:09,984
I'll...Even drive you to
the pastor's apartment!
281
00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,853
You would do that for me?
282
00:10:11,988 --> 00:10:15,123
Uh-- of course!
Brb!
283
00:10:16,192 --> 00:10:17,325
Oh my god, oh my god!
284
00:10:17,327 --> 00:10:18,726
It's going badly,
but I can fix it!
285
00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:20,061
Hold on a sec.
286
00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:21,529
She has a thing
for a pastor!
287
00:10:21,665 --> 00:10:23,865
I'm supposed to be raising
her jewish, hayley!
288
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,400
[ "hungry eyes" playing ]
289
00:10:26,536 --> 00:10:28,870
Okay, sir.
This stops now!
290
00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:30,604
What?
Just cool it!
291
00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:32,073
On being so hot!
292
00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:34,075
You have been
really inappropriate
293
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:35,809
With an impressionable
young woman!
294
00:10:35,811 --> 00:10:38,479
I have in no way been
inappropriate with anyone!
295
00:10:38,614 --> 00:10:40,481
I don't know what
you're talking about.
296
00:10:40,616 --> 00:10:44,285
Uh, how 'bout walking in here
with an ass like that, for one?
297
00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:47,355
You have a hot face.
Your dimples are insane!
298
00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:51,025
Okay, now I'm feeling it,
so just stop it.
299
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,762
Have a little decency.
Turn around!
300
00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:57,565
Turn back around!
Geez louise!
301
00:10:57,701 --> 00:10:59,433
You need to
hide your body more!
302
00:10:59,435 --> 00:11:00,968
Are you hearing
my message?
303
00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:02,103
Steer clear of gilda!
304
00:11:02,238 --> 00:11:04,438
Who?
You're disgusting.
305
00:11:04,574 --> 00:11:06,574
With your perfect
shoulders, too.
306
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:08,642
I bet you could spin me
in the air on one finger
307
00:11:08,644 --> 00:11:10,644
Like I'm a big
basketball.
308
00:11:10,646 --> 00:11:11,979
[bleep] it, use two!
309
00:11:11,981 --> 00:11:13,515
It's inappropriate!
310
00:11:13,649 --> 00:11:15,316
You're the one being
inappropriate!
311
00:11:15,451 --> 00:11:17,719
You are making me be
inappropriate!
312
00:11:17,853 --> 00:11:20,188
Some hot piece of tail
showing up in langley
313
00:11:20,323 --> 00:11:22,190
With incredible
dance training?
314
00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:24,859
This should be illegal.
I'm calling the police!
315
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:26,127
On dat ass!
316
00:11:26,262 --> 00:11:28,129
Praise be,
hallelujah!
317
00:11:28,264 --> 00:11:29,997
If I took a bite
out of that peach,
318
00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:31,132
I would chip a tooth!
319
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:32,200
This is harassment!
320
00:11:32,335 --> 00:11:34,001
His ass-ment!
321
00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:35,803
His ass
is like cement!
322
00:11:35,939 --> 00:11:37,539
I am talking hard.
323
00:11:37,673 --> 00:11:39,073
Jesus christ!
324
00:11:39,075 --> 00:11:41,876
Did you just use
the lord's name in vain?
325
00:11:42,011 --> 00:11:43,077
[ gasps ] wow.
326
00:11:43,212 --> 00:11:44,612
Okay. Got it.
327
00:11:44,748 --> 00:11:47,615
None of this was making sense,
but it finally does.
328
00:11:47,617 --> 00:11:49,283
Is this a "sister act"
situation?
329
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:50,684
If it is,
you have to tell me.
330
00:11:50,686 --> 00:11:52,353
Like from the movie
"sister act"
331
00:11:52,488 --> 00:11:53,955
With whoopi goldberg?
332
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:56,624
Don't play dumb with me.
You know what "sister act" is.
333
00:11:56,626 --> 00:11:58,692
Are you insinuating
that I am just
334
00:11:58,828 --> 00:12:02,029
A fun and charismatic
performer
335
00:12:02,031 --> 00:12:05,499
Who is hiding out in a church
pretending to be clergy
336
00:12:05,635 --> 00:12:08,369
Because I witnessed a murder
carried out by the bingoni mob?
337
00:12:08,504 --> 00:12:09,771
Get real.
[ door bangs open ]
338
00:12:09,905 --> 00:12:12,173
Man: That's him!
The bingonis say hello!
339
00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:13,975
[ gunshot ]
[ gasps ]
340
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:15,309
[ door slams ]
341
00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:17,579
Oh, my god!
Was this my fault?
342
00:12:17,713 --> 00:12:18,912
No. No!
343
00:12:18,914 --> 00:12:20,849
I can't be responsible
for everyone!
344
00:12:23,386 --> 00:12:25,853
Okay!
Good news and bad news.
345
00:12:25,989 --> 00:12:27,255
Uh, the good news is
346
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:28,790
That someone
said hello to the pastor.
347
00:12:28,925 --> 00:12:31,593
The bad news is
it was a mob-style hello
348
00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:32,794
Where he got got.
349
00:12:32,928 --> 00:12:33,995
What?
He's gone.
350
00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:35,729
Gone where?!
351
00:12:35,731 --> 00:12:36,998
Heaven, I guess.
352
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:39,667
Then I'm going
to heaven, too.
353
00:12:39,669 --> 00:12:41,135
Goodbye forever!
354
00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:42,403
Stop!
355
00:12:42,538 --> 00:12:44,405
Geez, I'm trying
to steer you,
356
00:12:44,540 --> 00:12:46,274
But you're like
a bad shopping cart
357
00:12:46,409 --> 00:12:48,009
That veers
right into the wall!
358
00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:49,410
I'm going to do it!
359
00:12:49,545 --> 00:12:51,078
Then you'll never
see him again!
360
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,214
Because you can't go to heaven
if you kill yourself!
361
00:12:53,349 --> 00:12:55,683
Those pricks thought
of everything.
362
00:12:55,819 --> 00:12:57,485
Right! So...
363
00:12:57,487 --> 00:13:00,488
The only way to go to heaven
is to do what the pastor says
364
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,890
And do good deeds --
lots and lots!
365
00:13:03,026 --> 00:13:06,160
So let's just keep you
very with the good deeds!
366
00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:08,696
You mean like mitzvahs?
I'm supposed to be jewish.
367
00:13:08,698 --> 00:13:09,697
Hold!
368
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,165
"a mitzvah is...
369
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,233
A good deed"!
370
00:13:12,368 --> 00:13:13,635
So, yes! Yes.
371
00:13:13,769 --> 00:13:15,703
Let's channel all
of that amazing, intense,
372
00:13:15,839 --> 00:13:19,507
Crazy girl energy
into the doing of mitzvahs!
373
00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:22,043
How's that for being
an adult woman?!
374
00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:27,648
♪♪
375
00:13:27,783 --> 00:13:33,855
♪♪
376
00:13:33,990 --> 00:13:35,256
Yep, I did this.
377
00:13:35,391 --> 00:13:36,724
We're doing
good work here.
378
00:13:36,726 --> 00:13:38,326
Oh, would you like
to help as well?
379
00:13:38,461 --> 00:13:39,593
No, she's doing
that part.
380
00:13:39,729 --> 00:13:41,262
I would love some
more soup, though.
381
00:13:41,397 --> 00:13:45,867
♪♪
382
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,402
I brought her here,
emotionally and physically.
383
00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:50,804
Ah, it feels so good!
384
00:13:50,806 --> 00:13:51,805
Can I get some soup?
385
00:13:51,807 --> 00:13:54,475
Um...No.
386
00:13:56,345 --> 00:13:58,812
[ line ringing ]
387
00:13:58,948 --> 00:14:00,348
I fixed everything!
388
00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:01,683
I'm in a meeting.
I can't talk.
389
00:14:01,817 --> 00:14:03,951
Gilda hasn't mentioned
the pastor in months.
390
00:14:04,087 --> 00:14:07,288
And she's been named
female mensch of the year!
391
00:14:07,423 --> 00:14:08,956
Her mom would be
so happy.
392
00:14:09,092 --> 00:14:12,226
Listen, I'm very busy.
I'm pretending to be in japan.
393
00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,761
Pretending
to close a deal.
394
00:14:14,564 --> 00:14:15,897
[ applause ]
395
00:14:16,031 --> 00:14:18,966
Thank you so much
for recognizing me as
396
00:14:18,968 --> 00:14:20,234
Female mensch of the year.
397
00:14:20,369 --> 00:14:22,103
Whoo!
398
00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:23,971
Why do we do good deeds?
399
00:14:23,973 --> 00:14:26,373
Because it's our moral duty
to leave the world
400
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:27,909
Better than we found it?
401
00:14:28,043 --> 00:14:28,910
No.
402
00:14:29,044 --> 00:14:30,444
[ belches loudly ]
403
00:14:30,446 --> 00:14:32,580
It's so we can just die already,
go to heaven,
404
00:14:32,582 --> 00:14:34,782
And do step three
with the hot pastor.
405
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:37,851
My adult friend hayley
taught me all of this.
406
00:14:37,853 --> 00:14:40,521
But the thing is,
it's taking too long.
407
00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:42,790
So I found a loophole!
408
00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:45,927
Whatever the pastor knew,
I also know.
409
00:14:46,061 --> 00:14:47,729
I saw the bingonis...
410
00:14:47,863 --> 00:14:48,996
Do whatever.
411
00:14:48,998 --> 00:14:49,997
[ door bangs open ]
412
00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:51,198
Man: She knows too much!
413
00:14:51,334 --> 00:14:53,468
[ gunfire ]
[ crowd screaming ]
414
00:14:55,338 --> 00:14:56,804
Listen, we are
on the run now.
415
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:59,807
So we gotta stay safe.
Yeah, I guess so.
416
00:14:59,809 --> 00:15:02,610
I'm too sleepy to talk.
Can you tell me a story?
417
00:15:02,745 --> 00:15:06,147
Yeah, sure.
Once upon a time...
418
00:15:06,282 --> 00:15:08,415
I thought
I was an adult.
419
00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:10,618
I tried to be there
for you, but...
420
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:12,620
I just kept making
everything worse.
421
00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:14,688
Mm, this is
a bad story.
422
00:15:14,824 --> 00:15:16,223
[ snoring ]
423
00:15:16,359 --> 00:15:18,091
In a way,
you're roger,
424
00:15:18,093 --> 00:15:20,093
But you're also real.
425
00:15:20,095 --> 00:15:23,697
I will fix this.
I will take care of you.
426
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:26,900
And no matter what,
I'll never let --
427
00:15:26,902 --> 00:15:28,569
[ snores ]
428
00:15:28,704 --> 00:15:30,638
...Them hurt you.
[ door bangs open ]
429
00:15:30,773 --> 00:15:32,840
Man: We know
to whom you are referring!
430
00:15:32,976 --> 00:15:33,908
[ gunshot ]
431
00:15:35,778 --> 00:15:37,444
[ wind rushing ]
432
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,383
Where's gilda?
433
00:15:44,052 --> 00:15:45,385
Where am I?
434
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,455
[ indistinct conversations,
laughter ]
435
00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:58,398
You must be hayley.
Welcome!
436
00:15:58,533 --> 00:15:59,866
This is for you.
Oh, okay.
437
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:00,934
Picture's up!
438
00:16:04,139 --> 00:16:05,338
There's baby.
439
00:16:05,474 --> 00:16:06,939
That's baby's dad!
440
00:16:06,941 --> 00:16:07,874
Am I in the shot?
441
00:16:07,876 --> 00:16:09,609
No!
You're doing great!
442
00:16:09,744 --> 00:16:11,344
Roll sound,
roll camera.
443
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,679
Hold for sound!
444
00:16:12,815 --> 00:16:14,648
Wait, is that the pastor?
445
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,217
He dead.
446
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,885
Am I dead?
447
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,753
Hi, is this heaven?
448
00:16:20,755 --> 00:16:22,955
Or am I somehow
a boom mic operator
449
00:16:22,957 --> 00:16:24,424
On the set
of "dirty dancing"?
450
00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:26,226
All of the above!
451
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,561
Heaven is
"dirty dancing."
452
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,497
But more specifically,
453
00:16:30,632 --> 00:16:34,567
Heaven is the moment
on the set of "dirty dancing"
454
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:37,170
When we,
the people behind the camera,
455
00:16:37,172 --> 00:16:40,773
Realize that we're making
something really special.
456
00:16:40,909 --> 00:16:43,310
Yeah,
that makes sense.
457
00:16:43,445 --> 00:16:45,178
Real quick --
are you god?
458
00:16:45,313 --> 00:16:46,179
Kind of!
459
00:16:46,314 --> 00:16:47,580
I'm emile ardolino,
460
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:49,516
The director
of "dirty dancing."
461
00:16:49,518 --> 00:16:52,319
Okay, you wanna hear
something really crazy?
462
00:16:52,454 --> 00:16:54,254
I also directed
"sister act"!
463
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,588
Get the [bleep] out.
464
00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:56,789
You get the [bleep] out.
465
00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:57,657
Damn.
466
00:16:57,792 --> 00:16:59,659
Gilda would
love it here.
467
00:16:59,794 --> 00:17:03,463
And my arm's not even tired!
This is so wild!
468
00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:04,931
Please wake up.
469
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,599
We don't have to be
on the run anymore!
470
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:08,134
I explained
to that mob family
471
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:10,603
That I was joking about
knowing "whatever."
472
00:17:10,605 --> 00:17:13,139
They were surprisingly cool.
I'm sorry.
473
00:17:13,141 --> 00:17:14,541
This is all my fault!
474
00:17:14,676 --> 00:17:16,877
But if you die
and kiss my boyfriend,
475
00:17:17,012 --> 00:17:18,211
So help me, god...
476
00:17:18,213 --> 00:17:19,412
[ door opens ]
477
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:20,881
Oh. Hi.
478
00:17:21,015 --> 00:17:22,349
I thought
you were in japan.
479
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:24,217
I was. I'm back.
480
00:17:24,352 --> 00:17:25,953
How do you know hayley?
481
00:17:26,955 --> 00:17:29,089
And another thing
you can do in heaven
482
00:17:29,224 --> 00:17:31,691
Is come up to the screening room
and watch your favorite scene,
483
00:17:31,826 --> 00:17:34,827
Over and over again,
as if for the first time.
484
00:17:34,963 --> 00:17:36,162
[ quietly ]
it's exquisite.
485
00:17:36,298 --> 00:17:37,830
The armpit tickle scene?
486
00:17:37,832 --> 00:17:40,901
You really like that scene,
more than anyone else!
487
00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:42,969
But as I'm sure
you know,
488
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,971
"dirty dancing" is a rich
and deep text,
489
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,506
And as such,
490
00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:47,908
Holds different meanings
for different people.
491
00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:49,842
I did not know that.
492
00:17:49,978 --> 00:17:52,245
I thought it was just sexy
and horny and stuff.
493
00:17:52,247 --> 00:17:55,582
For example, you love
the armpit tickle scene,
494
00:17:55,584 --> 00:17:57,517
But your friend gilda
loves this scene.
495
00:17:57,652 --> 00:17:58,919
[ projector clicks, whirs ]
496
00:17:59,053 --> 00:18:01,154
When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong.
497
00:18:08,196 --> 00:18:09,896
You looked wonderful out there.
498
00:18:15,403 --> 00:18:16,469
Hayley: Oh, my god!
499
00:18:16,605 --> 00:18:17,870
I was totally wrong about
500
00:18:18,006 --> 00:18:19,539
What gilda was getting
from the movie!
501
00:18:19,674 --> 00:18:21,742
I finally know
how to fix things!
502
00:18:21,876 --> 00:18:23,343
Not ready
to go to the big
503
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:26,012
"dirty dancing" screening room
in the sky just yet.
504
00:18:26,348 --> 00:18:28,748
[ gasps ]
she wasn't boy crazy --
505
00:18:28,883 --> 00:18:30,550
She was man crazy!
506
00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:32,285
About her dad!
507
00:18:32,287 --> 00:18:33,553
But not like that!
508
00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:36,222
I'm the one
who got her obsessed with boys!
509
00:18:36,224 --> 00:18:37,758
I met emile ardolino,
510
00:18:37,892 --> 00:18:40,693
And he showed me that you
can't actually care for someone
511
00:18:40,695 --> 00:18:42,295
If you aren't seeing them
clearly.
512
00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:43,696
Everything went off the rails
513
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:46,166
Because I was pushing
my stuff on you.
514
00:18:46,301 --> 00:18:47,367
Yeah, I tried
to tell you,
515
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,901
But you were talking
so much at the mall.
516
00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:50,570
You're talking a lot
now, too.
517
00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:52,105
Oh, good,
you're both here!
518
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,440
Roger --
barney bux!
519
00:18:53,575 --> 00:18:55,108
You need
to make it right.
520
00:18:55,243 --> 00:18:58,444
Tell her all of the things
you never said.
Okay.
521
00:18:58,446 --> 00:19:00,180
Your mother...Died.
522
00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:01,447
Yeah, I know.
523
00:19:01,449 --> 00:19:02,782
How?
I figured it out.
524
00:19:02,917 --> 00:19:05,051
Not this!
Say the lines.
525
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:08,921
Oh. I have been distant
these last 13 years.
526
00:19:09,057 --> 00:19:10,857
No! Say the lines
from the movie!
527
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,192
That's where
the magic is!
528
00:19:12,327 --> 00:19:14,394
Can't I just say
what I feel personally?
529
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,196
Absolutely not.
530
00:19:16,331 --> 00:19:19,399
Say, "when I'm wrong,
I say I'm wrong."
531
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,934
When I'm wrong,
I say I'm wrong.
532
00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:24,937
Then look at your
beautiful daughter,
533
00:19:24,939 --> 00:19:27,874
Who is blossoming
into her own person.
534
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,076
She's becoming a woman!
535
00:19:30,078 --> 00:19:31,277
You see that now.
536
00:19:31,279 --> 00:19:34,280
Say, "you looked
wonderful out there."
537
00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:35,682
Out where?
Just say it!
538
00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:38,150
You looked wonderful out there.
539
00:19:38,152 --> 00:19:44,557
♪ now I've had the time of my life ♪
540
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:48,628
♪ and I've never felt like this before ♪
541
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:51,231
♪ yes, I swear ♪
542
00:19:51,366 --> 00:19:53,233
♪ it's the truth ♪
543
00:19:53,368 --> 00:19:55,635
♪ and I owe it all to you ♪
544
00:19:55,770 --> 00:20:00,773
♪ 'cause I've had the time of my ♪
545
00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:03,109
[ zapping, whooshing ]
546
00:20:03,111 --> 00:20:04,577
Raider dave!
547
00:20:04,713 --> 00:20:06,779
Wow!
All roads lead to raider dave.
548
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,514
Well done, hayley.
549
00:20:08,516 --> 00:20:10,182
You looked wonderful
out there.
550
00:20:10,184 --> 00:20:11,384
[ glass shatters ]
551
00:20:11,386 --> 00:20:12,585
I've seen enough!
552
00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,387
I hereby
declare you
553
00:20:14,389 --> 00:20:17,790
"an adult woman"!
554
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,125
This hamster
is yours.
555
00:20:19,127 --> 00:20:21,194
Hey, did my family
come to visit me
556
00:20:21,329 --> 00:20:22,529
While I was
in a coma?
557
00:20:22,664 --> 00:20:24,997
Hmm, no one told them,
I don't think?
558
00:20:24,999 --> 00:20:27,133
Haven't seen them in a while
if I'm being honest.
559
00:20:27,135 --> 00:20:29,836
Hayley!
Is it five minutes yet?
560
00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:32,939
No answer?
Really?
561
00:20:33,075 --> 00:20:35,709
I have to do everything
around here!
562
00:20:38,546 --> 00:20:39,946
"klaus, take out the trash!"
563
00:20:40,082 --> 00:20:41,748
"klaus, we're going
inside the new meat freezer
564
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:43,884
For five minutes
to see if anyone gets cold!"
565
00:20:44,018 --> 00:20:46,819
"klaus, make sure you come
get us in five minutes!"
566
00:20:46,821 --> 00:20:47,954
Blah, blah, blah!
567
00:20:50,092 --> 00:20:52,292
Uh...So...
568
00:20:52,427 --> 00:20:54,127
Did anyone get cold?
569
00:20:55,029 --> 00:20:58,431
And I refuse
to take out the trash anymore!
570
00:20:58,433 --> 00:21:00,567
Have a great night!
37628
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