All language subtitles for Potato.Dreams.of.America.2021.en

[static buzzes]

[slow music]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[slow piano music]

[Vasili's Father] You
can't keep that from me.

This is my fucking house!

Come on, give it to me!

- Give that to me right now!
- [Lena] Get off of me!

Come on, give me that
fucking bottle, you bitch!

I want it right
fucking now, come on!

Give it to me!

[Vasili's father shouts]
[somber piano music]

Oh, come on, give it to me!

Give it!

[slow piano music continues]

[whimsical orchestral music]

[slow orchestral music]

Take Potato to the neighbors',
take him out of here!

Get him out of here, now!

[upbeat orchestral music]

[slow choral music]

Put it down.

Potato, where's your red scarf?

I won't wear it.

What?

The red stands
for all the blood

that was spilled
for the Revolution.

I won't wear your stupid
Communist, bloodthirsty scarf.

And what if I have a
word with your mother?

[Potato] My mom says we
should question everything

the government tells us.

[Prisoner] You're a doctor,
what are you waiting for?

Does she now?

Give him this.

The Communists are no
better than the Nazis.

[prisoner coughs]

They killed so many people,
they ruined this country.

I'm innocent,
[trembles] help me.

If I said what you just
said when I was your age.

[Prisoner] I'm
innocent, get me out.

Look straight, everyone.

Can't you see
I'll die in here?

[camera shutter clicks]
[upbeat orchestral music]

I need help.

[camera shutter clicks]

Please.

[camera shutter clicks]
[upbeat orchestral music]

So because Schwarz pressed

that big button
before he let go,

there's all these giant machines

that start working,
like, underground,

and suddenly they,
like, make all this air,

and the air starts blowing
from underground like geysers.

I've seen a geyser once.

We don't care.

What happened then?

So the air goes whoosh,

and breaks all the
windows on Mars,

and everybody's just screaming.

What about the
three-titted lady mutant?

Her, too, and they all
think that they're gonna die.

Schwarzenegger and this
girl have these big,

swollen heads like
crazy puppets.

Hey, Dima, is this
the geyser you saw?

[Group] Shut up.

And finally the oxygen
spreads everywhere,

even where Schwarz is, so he
stops dying, and he lives.

What about his girlfriend?

[Boy With Striped Shirt]
And his girlfriend lives, too.

And the three-tittied
lady mutant?

Your mom's a
three-tittied mutant lady.

Ow, wait, wait, look.

Where did you find this?

The dumpster.

Pretty sweet, huh?

Potato, look.

Ew!

- Look, you can't even see-
- Hey, give it back.

[boys laughing]

[Dima] Wow.

[Boy In Striped
Shirt] Nice find.

Have you guys seen
Star Wars, Episode 35?

[Boy In White Shirt]
There's no episode 35.

Yes, there is.

I saw it at my grandma's
neighbor's place.

[Boy In White
Shirt] You're stupid.

Are there any
hot chicks in it?

Several.

I wanna hear.

Me, too, someone
told me it's very good.

Stupid!

- Tell it.
- Tell it.

It begins...

in space.

[slow orchestral music]

Dear compatriots.

This is it, it's really
happening, I'm not dreaming?

If my father were
alive to see this,

he was so proud to
serve in the Red Army.

Screw him.

Are we gonna be free now?

I don't even know
what that means.

No more Soviet Union,
no more Communism.

We'll have freedom of speech.

Oh, and maybe toilet paper.

I was thinking maybe I
should move in with you.

Really, where is
this coming from?

Just last week, you tried
breaking up with me again.

Last week, I was lost.

After reading Nietzsche again,
I didn't know who I was.

And now you do?

I feel inspired by this.

Everything's gonna
be different now.

I feel like a new man.

A divorced woman with a child
should be begging strangers

on the street to
move in with her.

Grandma, don't be dumb.

You hear what he said to me?

Because you're dumb.

I don't know, you
keep coming and going,

and Potato needs some
stability in his life.

- Mom, I don't care-
- You stay out of this.

If you're worried
about crowding you,

I really don't have
that many things.

Just some clothes
and a color TV.

[slow music]

A color TV, did he
just say a color TV?

When did you get a color TV?

Last month, my
brother bought a new one

and gave me his old one.

You really could use
a man around the house.

Why not?

Let's try it, the more,
the merrier, right?

A color TV.
[upbeat orchestral music]

What's going on?

[Vasili] Just you wait.

[static crackles]

Have you lost your mind?

We only have two channels.

It's coming.

What is, I don't see anything.

[static crackles]

[upbeat orchestral music]

Everyone at school
was talking about it.

It came on last night,
it's a renegade channel.

They show American movies.

I don't believe it, we
have three channels now.

I wanna see, let me see.

♪ Light ♪

[toilet flushes]

American movies on TV.

American movies.

What's this?

The secret channel
number three.

They show American
movies late at night.

[circuit breaker pops]

[Lena groans]

No, no, no, not now!

[Lena] We'll never
find out what happened.

[Vova] What happened?

[Prisoner] The
power's out again.

[slow music]
[chains rattling]

[Lena] Oh, God, not again.

[Prisoner] It was an accident.

[Prisoner] An accident.

[Lena cries]

He was beaten to death.

Died from an accident.

You need to write
that in your report.

Accident.

[Grandma] Well,
that didn't take long.

What?

Vova, how long
before he moved out?

A couple months this time.

He said he needs
to find himself.

Why can't he find
himself in your apartment?

Beat's me, I don't care,
I just miss his color TV.

The women in our
family are cursed.

We just can't hold onto our men.

You wanna hold
onto these lousy men,

you go right ahead.

I'd rather be alone if
these are my only options.

Alone?

What about Potato?

What about me?

You need a father.

I have a father.

He's a sack of shit.

God, the bastard's refusing
to pay child support.

I have to go to court
again next month.

Any father is
better than no father.

Are you kidding me?

You want your grandson

to grow up watching
a mean drunk beat

your daughter every night?

Your trouble is you've
never really loved a man.

Except Potato.

I'm okay with that.

Even right after you were
born, you were always cold.

You had these thin, mean
lips that you pursed.

I know, Mom, and
bulging eyes like an ant.

Yes, bulging eyes. [laughs]

Mom, your lips are not thin.

What other compliments
are in store for me today?

Oh, remember when
you were a little girl

and you pulled your
hair back, [laughs]

and all the neighbors
kept telling you

you looked like an old Jew?

From what I recall, the only
person saying that was you.

"We saw your little
old Jew today,"

the neighbors would say, and
I'd have to correct them.

"Oh, no, no, no, no.

You saw my little old
half-Armenian girl today. [laughs]

She's not a Jew."

Glad you were there to
clear that one up, Mom.

That's what mothers are for.

[gently chiming music]

In the beginning,

Christ himself only had
a handful of followers,

and, today, there are
millions around the world

who follow his word.

Now that the Red Babel
has fallen, your classmates

and friends and neighbors will
start believing in him, too.

The important thing is

you should never be
ashamed of Christ.

Bring him home with you.

Bring him everywhere.

I'm not sure we have
room at my apartment.

[slow harp music]

I don't need much space.

All I need is your love.

All I need is love, too.

You look like you
could use a friend.

You're right.

My old friends are
starting to drink

and sniff glue and
talk about vaginas.

Oh.

I can't do any
of those things.

My mom is already stressed
out enough as it is.

Tell me more about your mom.

My mom is my best friend,
but she's always sad.

I'm always worried about her.

Let me take care of your mom.

Let me take care of everything.

For real?

[door rattles]

Mom, I found Christ.

That's nice.

Your mom looks like
she could be your sister.

Everyone says that,
she had me young.

Why do you think
your mom is always sad?

All she thinks about
is when I turn 18

and get drafted into military.

She says nothing is worse
than the Russian military.

She's afraid I have no future.

Do you think
you have a future?

I can't let myself
think about the future.

I have to stay strong for Mom.

You have to have faith.

In what?

In good things that
are gonna happen to you,

a better tomorrow.

Easier said than done.

It's like the American movies.

Why do you think the hero
always wins in the end?

Because they're in America.

No... well, yeah,
because they're in America,

but also because they believe.

Our lives are
like Russian movies.

Nothing good ever happens,
bad guys always win.

Then believe in
American movies.

You have to believe, and
get your mother to believe.

[gently chiming music]

[gong rattles]

Stop it.

I think some

of you are taking these
new freedoms a bit too far.

My parents say we
can never be free

until we get rid
of all the Jews.

Well, that's a little
harsh, don't you think?

[Student] Put all the kikes
in an oven like Hitler did.

Too bad Hitler
didn't finish the job.

Oh, shut up.

You know who's
worse than kikes?

Faggots.

Faggots make me sick.

They're not really human.

[Student] I heard
you can tell a faggot

by the way they walk.

Now, class, we
really don't have any

of those people in Russia,
it's an American thing.

Drugs, perverts, and AIDS.

They all have AIDS.

Freddie Mercury.

Freddie was not a faggot.

Of course he wasn't,
he was too talented.

Anyway, let's talk about
something more pleasant.

Back to the subject of kikes.

We're not supposed
to use that word.

[Students] Kikes, kikes,
kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes,

kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes,
kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes,

kikes, kikes, kikes,
kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes.

Come on, you don't have
to do what everyone does.

Let go.

No, don't do it.

- I know your dad-
- Shut up, shut up!

- You know nothing about me.
- Kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes,

kikes, kikes, kikes,
kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes,

kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes,
kikes, kikes, kikes, kikes.

[sad orchestral music]

[Student Voiceover]
You can tell a faggot

by the way they walk.

[Teacher Voiceover]
Not in Russia.

[Student Voiceover]
They're not really human.

[Student Voiceover] Faggot.

[Student Voiceover]
By the way he walks.

[Student Voiceover]
The way he walks.

[door rattles]

[television chatters]

Jesus?

What?

Am I a...

- Am I-
- What?

Never mind.

Shh, Jean-Claude is really

about to kick some
ass right now.

[slow rock music]

♪ Silence is my last resort ♪

♪ And the only option
I will choose ♪

♪ My words are falling ♪

♪ Rather short ♪

♪ And making things hard to ♪

[Potato screams]

Oh my God, oh my God!

Oh my God, I think I'm dying.

What?

Something's just
happened to me.

What's happening,
what's happening to me?

Uh, I don't know, maybe
you should ask your mom.

You don't know?

Jesus, you're supposed
to know everything.

Don't ask me, ask Mom.

What if she
doesn't know, either?

What if it's something bad?

What am I supposed to do, huh?

Give me the tissue.

What is this stuff?

[whimsical orchestral music]

That is weird.

[Vasili] It came out of me.

Do you think it's
that thing men squirt

into women to make babies?

Oh my God, [spits]
oh, I hope not.

What if it happens again?

No, I am sure that this
is never gonna happen again.

What if it does?

Well, then, we will just have

to tell your mother, won't we?

Happy March eighth.

May you stay young and
beautiful forever, see?

You thought you were in trouble
with me, but you're not.

Why should I be in trouble?

Lena, Lena, Lena.

How can I say this without
sounding too harsh?

You need to start
doing your job.

I have been doing my job.

But have you been
following my orders?

Whatever happened last
night was no accident.

I will not lie and say it
was an accident in my report.

I took an oath as a doctor-

- You took an oath to help
the living, not the dead.

He wouldn't be dead if
they hadn't murdered him.

Who are they?

Can you tell me?

Or could you be
accusing someone I know?

I'm not accusing anyone.

That's good, because
you really don't want

to be throwing
accusations around here.

All I know is
there was foul play.

The boy was beaten to death.

I won't dishonor
his memory by lying.

Maybe you should stop
worrying about this dead boy

and start thinking
about your own son.

I am thinking about my son.

Are you?

He's all I think
about, and I don't want

- him to live in a world where-
- Forget the world!

This isn't the world.

This is prison, a
purgatory for lost causes.

But your son, he is out
there in the real world,

and when he grows up and
gets drafted by the army,

will your principles protect
him from hazing, torture,

malnutrition, and his own
very unfortunate accident?

Because I can protect him.

I've got connections
in the army.

I can make sure that he gets
through it all alive, or not.

It's your call.

Who do you think
you are, anyway?

You think now the USSR is done,
you can stick your neck out?

The name may be different,
a new flag perhaps,

but the people are the
same, the same old Russia,

and it will grind you
up and shit you out,

you and your fucking principles,

unless you learn
to accept things

as they always have
been and will always be.

[slow ambient music]

[door creaks]

[door slams]

[Lena trembles]

[slow piano music]

[Lena] Anything
interesting this time?

[Grandma] Oh, yes,
they're at it again.

Oh, let me see.

[Grandma] Huh?

[Lena] I wanna see.

Oh, I like how they
decorated their place.

They sure are lucky.

How come they never get outages

when we have one every night?

[Lena] The governor's nephew
lives in their building.

I thought it was
the mayor's mistress.

See, I told you capitalism
wasn't gonna be all that.

This is not capitalism, Mom.

Okay, well, then
what is capitalism?

I know it's not capitalism
when the same old farts

who were Communist
Party leaders are

suddenly privatizing
all public land

and property for themselves.

Well, at least we can agree
that nothing's gotten better.

Some things got better.

Yeah, some things got better.

Like what?

Like toilet paper.

We have channel number three.

We can watch American movies.

Yes, and that does
us a lot of good

when the electricity
goes out every night.

The Iron Curtain is lifted.

We can travel, we can even
get the hell out if we want.

You know, if you ask me,
that's an improvement.

You would leave the country?

Uh-huh.

And where would you go?

Anywhere.

Uh, what he said.

Anywhere is better than
our beloved motherland?

Shame on you!

If your grandfather were
alive to hear you say that,

he'd have a heart attack.

Thank goodness he's dead then.

[electricity buzzes]

Hooray!
[slow orchestral music]

No, I don't wanna dance
with you, you're a bad boy.

[Vasili] Yeah, you do.

No, I don't.

[Salesman] Are you
tired of Russian men?

Interested in meeting
men from America?

Look no further, we got 'em
all, cowboys, businessmen,

doctors,

lawyers.

Cowboys, businessmen,

other employed men.

Request a free application
to add your profile

to our mail-order bride catalog

so you, too, can be chosen
by an eligible bachelor

in a faraway exotic
place like Dallas

or Santa Barbara or Milwaukee.

Don't let your American
prince charming slip away.

Apply now.

[slow electronic music]

[Woman] So, who's
the lucky guy?

Are you kidding,
a divorced mother?

She's the lucky one as
long as he's breathing.

Shut up!

So are you gonna tell us?

Nope.

Why?

Leave her alone.

Why don't you wanna tell
us about your fancy date?

She probably
doesn't wanna jinx it.

I understand, don't tell
'em, do not tell them.

These are some jealous broads.

Finish telling the movie.

All right, where was I?

Um, he brought her
back to the store.

That's right, so, get
this, he brings her back

to that expensive store and
tells her she can buy anything.

[Lena] Anything?

Anything, and-

- [Lena] No way.

And he tells those
stuck-up salesmen

to spoil her, treat
her like a queen.

That store where she got
kicked out for being a hooker?

Yeah.

If I was her, I'd say,
"Big mistake, big mistake.

"I got money, bitches."

[group laughs]

Okay, okay, tell me one thing.

Does he marry her at the end?

Let her finish
telling the movie.

If it's not a happy ending,
I don't wanna hear the rest.

Of course he marries her,
it's an American movie.

Aw, I wish I was
a hooker in America.

Don't we all.

[light jazz music]

[Lena] Occupation.

Doctor in prison.

Prison doesn't
sound very romantic.

I'll just say doctor.

Doctor in prison
sounds badass.

I don't know if
men go for badass.

Fine.

[Lena] Children.

Me.

Should I tell them
about you, though?

Grandma would
definitely say no.

Yeah, that's a
strike against me.

I think I should just
wait until you get married

and show up at your
doorstep as a surprise.

[Lena] Religion.

- Russian Orthodox.
- Oh, you need to get to bed.

Your Sunday school's
in the morning.

I'm not feeling it,
I got Jesus right here.

- [television chatters]
- No, why would you do that?

He's clearly cheating on you.

[slow percussive music]

Nunchucks, really?

That's what it's called,
confiscated from a gang.

Cowabunga, like Michelangelo.

Who?

Never mind.

[typewriter clacks]

Did he die?

Yes.

She did.

I took a train to her village

and begged her parents
to donate it to me.

Don't you get sad doing this?

Oh, yes, I'm sad.

Life is sad.

Look at them, those manly boys.

Some day, that'll be
you if you're fortunate.

Fortunate?

Yes, well, it's either
here or the Police Academy,

if I can get you in with
the right connections,

or the military, and,
if it's the latter,

you'll never make it out alive.

But I don't wanna
be a policeman.

Oh, really, what
do you wanna be?

I wanna make movies.

[Grandma scoffs]

No one in our family has...

Do you know anyone that
gets to do what they like?

No.

You think when I
was a little girl,

I wanted to run a police museum?

No, I wanted to be a ballerina.

You see me dancing?

What makes you so special?

The fact that
I want it so bad.

Huh, sure.

You gotta give it
to these gang members,

they're very creative.

Tell you what, why
don't you keep that?

Bring it with you to school.

What?

You heard me, bring
it with you to school.

That way, the next time
somebody picks on you,

you can pull it
out and. [hisses]

No one is picking
on me at school.

Oh, really?

That's not what
your teachers say.

When did you speak
to my teachers?

You can't tell Mom.

Oh, my mommy, my mommy,
oh, she's so fragile.

Fine, I'll bring it to school.

But if you ever tell
Mom, I will kill you.

Nice.

That's a great way to
talk to your grandma.

[pipes gurgling]

They turned off
the water again.

[Vasili] Mom?

[Lena] I told
you, I don't want

to open the letter in
the middle of the street.

We're almost home.

We'll get there and
open it properly.

What do you mean properly?

I don't wanna open it here.

Mom, it's a
letter from America-

- Shh, I don't want
anyone to hear.

There is no one here, please?

Fine, I'll do it.

Look, it's in English.

There's a photo of him.

How old is he?

Such a friendly face.

Let's get home and open
it with a dictionary.

Look, his name is John.

John.

John.

He works for Microsoft.

What is that?

It says something
about computers.

Computers?

Wow.

"Dear John, thank you so
much for your interest in me.

Your letter was a nice surprise
when I came home today.

What can I tell you about us?

Vladivostok is a big
city in the Far East,

right next to China and Japan.

My son and I live in an
apartment on a fifth floor.

It's a little place, but
we try to make it cozy.

We're lucky there's
only two of us here.

Same-size apartments in
our building are shared

by three generations.

But my mother does
visit us often.

I work as a doctor in prison.

It's challenging, and
sometimes they pay me.

I'm lucky to have a job,
but I don't love it.

I call my son Potato.

He's a very good student.

He loves school, American
movies, and Jesus Christ.

He was so excited last week.

I saved and saved and
bought us a new color TV.

All we know about America
are American movies,

but it's enough to fall
in love with your country.

There are always happy endings."

[slow rock music]

[gun fires]

[gun fires]

[gun fires]

[gun fires]

[gun fires]

[gun fires]

[gun fires]

Mom?

[Lena] What?

Mom, I have to
tell you something.

[Lena] What is it?

It's something terrible.

My little Potato, what is it?

My biology book.

Yes?

It says that when
a boy exercises,

he's not going to want to.

[Lena] What?

Touch himself.

Touch?

There.

Masturbating?

I guess.

I did.

I do, sometimes.

The book says it's a very
dangerous to your health.

I exercise and I exercise
just like the book says

and I still end up.

Are there any
other terrible things

you're planning on telling me?

Am I going to die?

Someday, when you're
really, really old, yes,

but not from doing that.

But my biology book says-

- Your biology book
is outdated garbage.

Look, I'm sorry you
were so worried,

but everyone, hey,
everyone does it, okay?

Men and women.

Everyone?

[Lena] Everyone.

Even Grandma?

Even Grandma.

[Grandma knocks]

[Vasili] Grandma, we were
just talking about you.

[Grandma] Oh,
you were, were you?

Why can't you live on
the first floor? [sighs]

How was work?

I had a 48 hour
shift in prison, Mom,

and they haven't paid
me in two months.

How do you think work was?

What, I can't even ask now?

I got you that job, I'd
like to know how it's going.

All right, since
you really wanna know,

we had another accident.

Another dead boy,
another neck broken.

I'm supposed to say
it was a heart attack,

but I'm not going to say that,

so my boss is threatening
to God knows what, kill me?

All the prisoners
have tuberculosis,

and I don't have anything
to treat them with,

so now every time that I cough,

I think maybe I've
caught it from them.

Oh, and did I mention

that my boss is
threatening to kill me?

What else would
you like to know?

No need to be so dramatic.

I just wanna come home and try

to forget about what's
happening at work, okay?

Is that all right with you?

Fine.

[knife rattles]
[dramatic music]

[Lena] Potato, what is that?

A gift from Grandma.

It's nothing.

He was being bullied
so badly at school

he was skipping class.
[door knocks]

It's not true.

[Lena groans]

What do you want?

To give you this and talk
about getting back together.

No.

No?

Not interested.

I understand why
you'd feel this way,

and I really appreciate
you giving me space

when I asked for it, but I've
had time to think it all over

and I believe I've
finally found myself.

Well, I don't like what
I see, so keep looking.

- But maybe I could-
- Do you see that over there?

You got a new color TV.

That's right, I saved
and I saved and I saved

and finally got us
our very own color TV.

So?

So I don't need

your indecisive ass
anymore, okay, goodbye.

What did you do that for?

Who's gonna want you now?

[Lena] Nobody, nobody's
gonna want me, Mom.

You would tell me if
you were skipping school

and getting bullied,
wouldn't you?

He doesn't tell you anything.

Mom, I didn't
want you to worry.

Look at his back,
it's covered in bruises.

They beat the shit
out of him last week.

Stop, Mom, stop!
[dramatic orchestral music]

[Lena gasps]

[Lena] Who did this to you?

[Grandma] Bunch
of his classmates.

Mom, where are you going?

I'm going to your school,
and I'm gonna find out

who's been bullying
you and kill them.

You can't protect him forever.

[Vasili] Mom,
you can't do this.

It will only make it worse.

- You should listen to him.
- Stop, no, no, Mom-

- He's right, you're
only gonna make it worse.

The kid needs to toughen up.

[Vasili] It's only
going to make it worse.

You know, he's going to be
drafted in a couple of years,

and the bullies at school,

they're gonna look
like angels compared

to what's coming for him.

I've told you and
told you and told you

you were not raising him right.

He is far too sensitive.

The army will be
the death of him.

You never should
have left his father.

At least then Potato would
have a male figure in his life.

I mean, I have told you-

[Lena screams]

[slow orchestral music]

You have to eat.

There's no point.

What do you mean, Mom?

Don't you feel the
walls closing in?

[building rumbles]

Mom, you're just sad.

It's okay.

You will feel
better, like before.

I never felt better.

I don't remember feeling better.

There's always been
this dark cloud

that follows me around
no matter where I go.

That's not a cloud,
Mom, that's just Grandma.

I wish we could fall asleep
right now and never wake up.

I could keep you safe.
[building rumbles]

This place is gonna crumble
all around us, I can feel it.

Mom,

get better.

Please.

I don't know what's going on.

Mom, please, you're scaring me.

[door knocks]
[slow piano music]

[lively orchestral music]

Good evening.

Good evening, Nina Ivanovna.

Look what I got
in the mail today.

It's for you.

Must be because we have
the same apartment number.

Wrong building, though.

The postman must've messed up.

I was very surprised to
find a letter from the USA.

I didn't mean to open it, but
I didn't look at the name.

I just thought it was for me.

That's okay, thank
you, thank you so much.

It's not every day you
get a letter like this.

Thank you so much
for bringing it.

I hope you don't
mind, I smelled it.

American paper smells
different, isn't that strange?

Mm, have a good night.

Be sure and tell
your American friend

to write the address
more clearly.

We will, we will.

Thank you, good
night, Nina Ivanovna.

Good night.

Good night!

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night!

[door slams]

Do you know what it says?

What does it say?

I don't know, I should get
a dictionary to make sure.

What does it say, Mom?

Oh God, I'm afraid
to say it out loud.

Mom?

I think it says
here that John wants

to bring us to America.

Are you serious?

Oh God, I'm afraid to believe.

I'm afraid to get my hopes up.

You should never be afraid
to believe, let's pray.

Darling dear Mary,
you're a mother like me,

so you know why I
feel so desperate.

Please let me marry this
kind man, this John.

Let me bring Potato to America

so he's safe and doesn't get
drafted into the Russian Army.

There's nothing I wouldn't
do to protect him.

Please, dear Mother
of God, do this for us

and I'll never ask
for anything else.

[building rumbles]

♪ If you're quiet enough in
the height of the night ♪

♪ You can hear the
song of freedom ♪

♪ The stunning song of freedom ♪

♪ It beats in the dreams of
the girls and the queens ♪

♪ And the men and the boy
chicks and in-betweens ♪

♪ While their fears
are busy away ♪

♪ The rumble of the moon ♪

♪ It will drown and swoon ♪

♪ The years of yeses and nos ♪

♪ Gather the highs
and the lows ♪

♪ What's left is freedom ♪

♪ Spread your span ♪

♪ Raise your hands ♪

♪ Catch this song of freedom,
catch this song of freedom ♪

♪ Right her light ♪

♪ And do the sweet
of the night ♪

♪ This is your song of freedom,
this is your song of freedom ♪

♪ Demons will think ♪

♪ They will think
that you're down ♪

♪ They say no, and they
claw and they fight ♪

♪ Insisting that
they're in the right ♪

♪ You can hold onto your pride ♪

♪ What was lost is now sound ♪

♪ You can hear the
song of freedom ♪

♪ The gorgeous song of freedom ♪

♪ The rumble of the moon ♪

♪ It will drown and swoon ♪

♪ The years of yeses and nos ♪

♪ Gather the highs
and the lows ♪

♪ What's left is freedom ♪

♪ Freedom ♪

♪ Spread your span ♪

♪ Raise your hands ♪

♪ And catch this
song of freedom ♪

♪ Catch this song of freedom ♪

♪ Ride your light ♪

♪ Into the sweet of the night ♪

♪ This is your song of freedom,
this is your song of freedom ♪

♪ Freedom ♪

[somber choral music]

[slow orchestral music]

What?

Oh my God!

Oh my God, oh my God!

You give him computer?

Oh my God!

How can you,
it's too expensive.

Oh, it's worth it
to see him so happy.

You are kind, thank
you, I love you.

Hey, he looks like he's
never seen a computer before.

Are you kidding? [laughs]

in our family, nobody had phone.

Computer is like
spaceship to him.

You're more than welcome.

Oh.

Ah, for me?

Ah, let's see,
what could this be?

Oh, toy train, I
love toy trains.

How did you know?

Your letters, one time
you say you love toy trains.

And you remembered?

Of course.

Well, this is great, great.

It makes me feel
like I was a kid.

[both laughing]

[bell rings]

[gently chiming music]

Oh, how do you say your name?

Vasili.

[Teacher] I'm sorry,
can you say it louder

so the whole class can hear it?

Why?

Well, you've got a
beautiful Russian name,

or is it Czech or something?

How do you pronounce it?

Vasili.

Um, Vissil?

Yeah, that's fine.

What's this part?

Name of the my father,
it goes in middle.

Oh, say your
middle name for me.

I do not want to.

Say your name, please.

I do not want
my father's name.

I'm sorry, I'm having a
hard time understanding you,

but I can't start class until
you say your whole name.

Vasili Sergei Vitz Naumenko.

[teacher claps]

Oh, that's nice, thank you.

Isn't that a
beautiful name, class?

Great, you can have
a seat, thank you.

And see, class, this is
what we were talking about,

about awareness and inclusivity,

really, really paying attention
to how we're all alike

and also different
at the same time,

to be able to ask
questions of one another,

to really explore these things.

Want to know what
other people might.

[slow orchestral music]

You know why American
women so independent?

Why?

Because you have
all these machines,

washing machine, drying machine,

microwave, dishes
washing machine.

In Russia, they have nothing.

[timer buzzes]

[box clatters]

[somber orchestral music]

I see you've found
Lena number one.

Huh?

Yeah, her name was Lena also.

I met her through the
same catalog as you.

She lived with you in America?

Briefly, the marriage
only lasted three months.

Marriage?

Well, I didn't tell you

because I didn't think it
was much of a marriage.

What happened?

Didn't work out.

Our beliefs were not compatible,

so I sent her back to Russia.

Sent her back?

I didn't want to make
a big deal out of it,

but now that you know, I
guess it's a good reminder

for you not to disappoint me.

It's just a joke.

Mostly.

Oh.

[somber orchestral
music continues]

[Teacher] I am very
concerned about you.

Why?

Because you're losing
your beautiful culture.

People come to this country

and they lose their
beautiful heritage,

and that's not what we want.

People say this country
is a melting pot,

and I just disagree.

Why would you want a
boring, mushy melting pot

when you could just
toss a salad, right?

Every culture is
beautiful and unique.

I want to learn
English, this is all.

No, no, you're not,
you're not hearing me,

and don't worry about English.

I think you should
be at a school

with other Russian speakers
and Russian interpreters

so you can be with
your own kind.

I do not want to be-

- I want you to meet someone,
Timur, this is Vasili.

[Timur] Nice to meet you.

He is also Russian,
so I'll leave you two

to talk amongst yourselves.

Be sure to speak
Russian together.

Timur, Vasili really
needs some friends.

Oh, and Vasili,
I'm gonna move you

from my class into an ESL class.

It's gonna be a
better fit for you.

Would you fuck her?

What?

Would you fuck that bitch?

Would you, uh, take your cock

and rub it in her
face like this?

Look at her ass.

I do not want.

Oh, fresh off the boat, huh?

No, I'm from Vladivostok.

Ah, cool, cool.

No, not cool.

I'm from Tbilisi, but
that cunt thinks I'm Russian

because she don't
know difference.

I'm serious, if she was, like,
coming onto you, you know,

like, "Hey, I suck your big
Russian penis long time,"

would you, uh, you
know, stick it in her?

I don't understand.

[Timur laughs]

What, are you a
faggot or something?

[slow orchestral music]

A homo?

Man, I'm just kidding you, man.

I hate faggots, you know?

In Tbilisi, if we think
some guy is a faggot,

we kill him, nobody even care.

Okay, later.

Hi, you survived
the first day?

Oh, American
school, very easy.

Back where I come from,
school is like hell.

Really?

[slow orchestral music]

Did you come here with
your whole family?

My mom, she is
my whole family.

Hey, so I'm taking an
art class this quarter

and I have to do all these
sketches for homework.

No, art is great.

I was thinking,
'cause I'm tired

of drawing pots and flowers,

it'd be cool to
have a life model.

Would you model for me?

Like naked with no clothes?

No, no, no, um, I just
mean you have a cool face.

I mean, drawing your face, why,
did you want to pose naked?

No, but yeah, you
can draw my face.

Um, here's my number.

[slow blues music]

So it says here you
went to medical school.

Yes.

So you're a doctor?

Yes.

You know, here,
we just make tacos.

I know.

So why do you
want to work here?

I need work, [laughs]
my English, not good.

Uh, I cannot be doctor here.

Fair enough. [laughs]

So when can you start?

It's comforting to know that
the tracks are already there.

The number of routes

and destinations are
predetermined. [chuckles]

Not like automobiles.

Here we say cars.

Cars.

You know, as you grow older,

you will see that
sometimes it's hard

for us to understand God's plan.

He gives us all this free will,

just to watch us fail
and make bad choices.

It might even seem
cruel at times,

but it's not for us
to understand that.

Our job is to do
what the Bible says.

Bible says so many things.

What was that?

I say, Bible say
so many things.

Exactly, everything we
need to know is right there,

if only we listen.

You know, I tried
a number of faiths

before I settled on
Russian Orthodox,

and you know why I chose it?

Why?

There's no wiggle room
in its interpretation.

It's the purest of doctrines.

[somber orchestral music]

And it's this rigidity
that we all need now

as the world turns into
a dark, wild jungle,

it's this rigidity that will
shelter us from temptation,

you know, keep us out
of trouble, you know?

[train rattles]

Oh, that's too small,
you cut like this.

[Lena] Sorry.

It's okay, you'll do fine.

Thank you.

Is it true that you
were a doctor in Russia?

Yes.

My husband was a
professor back home.

He actually works
at the gas station.

I'd rather scrub floors here

than be doctor back in Russia.

I understand, you come
to this country alone?

My son and me came,
I married American man.

American, [laughs]
you must be so happy.

Your son can live here now
and have a real future.

So happy, no words how happy.

Your American husband,
he's good looking?

He is nice.

He is not rich, either, huh,

or you would not have
to work here. [laughs]

It's okay, it's
okay, I understand.

I am very lucky.

At least you got a man.

Her, over there,
she's a lesbian.

She loves only women.

Really?

Hmm.

Good for her.

Yes, good for her. [laughs]

[slow metal music]

How's it going?

Good.

Hey, how was "Taxi Driver"?

My stepfather loves it.

Of course he does.

[slow rock music]

♪ I've landed in
an [indistinct] ♪

♪ Sat down and
wrote his obituary ♪

♪ [indistinct] ♪

♪ You only really hurt
the one that you love ♪

Such a good film, Gregg
Araki is one of my favorites.

Have you seen "The
Doom Generation"?

It's so good, but I
like this one, too.

Cool cover, huh?

We have his new
one, too, "Nowhere,"

it's in the new section if
you want to check it out.

Due Wednesday by 8:00
pm, have a good day.

[slow rock music]

♪ I've landed in
an [indistinct] ♪

♪ Sat down and
wrote his obituary ♪

You want to know what it is
I like best about guy bodies?

Well, you see, they got
this line running right

through the middle of them,
dividing their torsos in two.

It starts right here, around
the bead of the collarbone.

If you had to choose,

which would you
rather die from, sex?

Or love?

♪ Right down through the 10 ♪

♪ Looked up to God and said ♪

[slow music]

[slow orchestral music]

Getting some air?

Yeah, outside very nice.

Good night.

Good night.

Oh, Christ God, bless
the food and drink

of thy servants, for
holy art thou always,

now, ever, and onto
the ages of ages, amen.

So, must be a big
culture shock for you,

going to an American
school, huh?

I like it very much, people
very friendly with me here,

and students don't try to kill
you every day like in Russia,

so very nice.

Yeah, well, we are
lucky we live here.

But you tell that
to the liberals,

they will destroy
this country yet.

I mean, prayer not
allowed in school,

homosexuality condoned,
millions of innocent,

unborn children slaughtered.

The government gets
bigger and bigger, hmm?

And believe me, they would
round us all up, too,

if they could, but
in the United States,

we have the right to bear arms.

Where you find bear arms?

Poor bear, no.

No, no, no, [laughs] it
means the right to own guns.

Don't shoot gun at
bear, hunting is mean-

- Nobody is shooting bears!

It's the government we have
to protect ourselves from.

They're the ones that
are out to get us.

I mean, they're
vaccinating everybody,

putting fluoride in the water.

Fluoride is good for
teeth, I learn in medical-

- No, it's not.

No, not good.

No, fluoride is bad.

Fluoride is very bad.

[John] Very bad.

So what to do?

Well, I don't know,
there's nothing to do.

They have us cornered.

Who?

The government!

Then you should get lost.

She means hide.

[Lena] Mm-hmm.

There's nowhere to hide,
they control everything,

the phones, the water
supply, the liberal media.

But, and you will
learn this in school,

but basically, this
is a Christian nation,

but the government
has forgotten that.

They have taken God away, and
pretty soon they will come

and take our guns away, too.

What they do with God?

Not allowed, they
said, no God allowed.

Really?

Really, and if
we keep telling God

that he is not welcome here,

I am sure he will
abandon this nation.

All this, so great.

What's great?

Dinner.

Hotdog, this green thing.

Relish.

Relish, everything.

You know, every day I wake up
and my life feel upside down.

I feel, uh, how you say,
uh, upside down now.

Upside down?

Before, I feel
I have bad dream

and always afraid bad
dream never finish.

Now I think I have
wonderful dream,

and always afraid
I will wake up.

Right side up.

[doorbell rings]

Ah, I'm expecting
something, I'll get it.

[Delivery Woman]
Good afternoon,

I have quite a few
packages for you.

Will you sign here?

Thank you, bring it on in.

[slow jazzy music]

[John] Okay.

[Lena] What is this?

Spices and baking products,
and it's our retirement plan.

I'm gonna be selling
these, I didn't tell you.

You sell salt and papers?

Peppers.

Yeah, not exactly, I
have to get other people

to sign up with
the same company.

That's where the real money is.

It's capitalism, it's a little
confusing, but you'll learn.

No, I heard about it before.

In Russia we call pyramid, no?

[ominous orchestral music]

What?

Pyramid, a pyramid.

Pyramid?

It's not a pyramid scheme!

This is our future here... what
do you know about business?

No, no, no, I know
nothing, I know nothing.

I know nothing, I am
happy you are happy.

I hope you can be
retarded very soon.

[Vasili] Uh, retired.

Look, garlic
and salt together.

Beautiful, so easy, they
put garlic and salt together

so you do not have to,
uh, how do you say?

To mix it.

Do not have to mix it
with your hand. [laughs]

Life in America's so easy,
they think of everything.

Cinnamon.

Vanilla concentrate.

I never know they
make spice from pumpkin.

Where?

Here.

Pumpkin spice,
it's true. [laughs]

[slow orchestral music]

You know my friend Hannah?

She has a lot of acne.

Yeah, I think I know.

You know what she told me?

You can't tell anyone, promise.

I do not have anyone to tell.

Her boyfriend asks her
to give him blowjobs,

like every day they go out.

Really?

Gross, right?

Yeah.

What is it with some guys?

I do not know.

Would you ever pressure a
girl to give you a blowjob?

I would never pressure a girl.

Ah, I just love your
cute little accent.

I hate it, I will
learn to get rid of it.

Don't, it's cute.

First time I feel
like I find home,

a place I want to be, but
nobody let me forget my past.

They all ask, "Where you from?

Oh, Russia, I love
Russia." [scoffs]

It only makes you special.

[Vasili sighs]

I want other things
to make me special.

I think you're
special in every way.

You too, Mandy, you're
my only real friend here.

You're so funny, I
like being your friend.

My mom thinks we're
dating, though.

Dating? [laughs]

It's funny, right?

Very funny. [laughs]

It is?

I think so. [laughs]

Why?

You're my best
friend. [laughs]

Your only friend,
according to you.

It is true.

So if I started dating
someone, you wouldn't mind?

Of course, no, I'd be happy
for you, why would I mind?

Because we talk on
the phone every day.

Everybody thinks we're dating.

I thought it
was only your mom.

[slow orchestral music]

[Mandy sighs]

[slow rock music]

Marilyn Manson?

Yes.

[Lena] He sounds angry.

Me too.

I know.

I hate that he tells us how
to pray, know what to believe.

I think he's crazy.

John is different, I know.

He's not what we thought he was.

It's people like him
who want people like me

to stay second class.

What people?

You wouldn't understand.

Potato, what are
you talking about?

I can't tell you.

Please tell me.

You always tell me everything-

- Not everything, I could
never tell you everything.

In Russia, you had
so much depression.

How could I tell you
everything? [sighs]

I promise, I promise
you can tell me.

You don't have to
protect me, I am strong.

I'm gay.

What?

Gay.

Gay?

Do you even know
what that means?

[Lena laughs]

This is all?

This is why you were so
depressed all the time?

This is why you
sneak out at night?

Yes, I just, [cries] I
feel so much, I have to run.

I run and run until I am so
tired that I can finally sleep.

Potato, you promise nothing
else has happened to you?

You promise this is all?

Yes.

[Lena laughs]

What do you mean, "This is all"?

You think I care that
you are gay? [laughs]

Everyone is a little bit gay.

What?

Sometimes I see my friends
change clothes, you know?

I notice, I have gay
thoughts. [laughs]

You wanted to have sex
with your women friends?

Oh, no, no.

No, Mom, I am real
gay, gay all the way.

This is fine,
[laughs] this is fine.

I am so happy.

Happy that you finally
trust to telling me.

I'm happy because now I
know you finish school.

You will not marry some girl

who tells you she is pregnant
and you drop your studies

and work all your life to
support this silly girl

and some ugly screaming baby

who's probably not
even your baby.

In Russia, I was always afraid
it would happen that way.

Oh, [laughs] I am
so happy you're gay.

Mom.

I'm sorry, I know, I
know [laughs] it's serious.

Oh, but I think it is good news.

But, Potato,

we cannot tell John.

[slow orchestral music]

Of course not, no.

If he find out, he will
kick us out of America.

I would kill myself
before I go back.

I am serious, Potato, he
will send us back to Russia.

He had Russian wife before.

What?

He made rid of her.

She is back in
Russia now. [laughs]

He changes Russian
wives like old socks.

[upbeat orchestral music]

Just be patient, okay?

[doorbell buzzes]

Will you tell me what
the surprise is about?

No.

[Lena knocks]

[Cheryl] Come in.

Hi.

[Cheryl] Hi.

Hi. [laughs]

This is Cheryl, she
is my manager at work.

And I'm gay.

My partner Carrie
is in the back,

and this is Brian,
he is also gay.

Hi.

You're gay?

Yes, I hear you are, too.

You have the
best mom, come in.

[Carrie] We've been
together five years now.

You're my first
real gay people.

In Russia, I did not
know if I was only one,

or if gay people were
monsters on Mars.

That's how I
felt in Tennessee.

No, but you have to
remember, it will get better.

Yeah, and once you can
move out of the house

and live on your own.

[Cheryl] Sorry, but it's true.

[Brian] No, she's a great mom.

Of course, she's
not the problem,

but the man she's married to.

I am more like his
slave than his wife.

He knows how can
do anything to us

because we cannot
go back to Russia,

and is like he has
gun to our head.

When you get permanent
status, he can't send you back.

Mm-hmm, this one's
studying to be a lawyer.

Maybe you can help them someday.

You will be okay, I promise.

[Cheryl] We know how hard
it is when you're young.

Let's take a photo, I
have some film left over

from your engagement party.

Engagement?

Yes, we're going
to marry in February.

Marry?

Well, it's not legal yet,
but it will be, someday.

For now, we can still have
a ceremony in our church.

In a church?

[slow rock music]

♪ On the chair ♪

[intense rock music]

[slow orchestral music]

Oh, hey, just to let you
know, we got an extra copy

of "The Living End"
for sale right here.

"The Living End"?

Yeah, I see you rented
it, like, 100 times,

so I figured you might just
want to buy our extra copy.

I never rented this.

[Cashier] Oh, my bad, maybe
someone else on the account?

My stepson.

Anyone on the
account can rent it.

Anyway, let him know in
case he wants to buy it.

I will.

[slow orchestral
music continues]

I thought we'd
have a movie night.

Wait, I finish my
English lesson soon.

No, now.

Where's Potato?

Uh, he go out with friends.

Friends, oh, I
can just imagine.

That's all right, he
doesn't need to see this.

He's seen it many,
many times before.

He did?

[John] Oh, yeah, it's
his favorite movie.

[Jon] What do
you want me to do?

When I start to
come, choke me.

Now how do you explain that?

What, I do not understand.

What do you make of it?

I do not make of it,
it must be mistake.

- Why you so angry?
- It's no mistake!

Potato has rented this
homosexual movie for months now.

I just found out today, and
I was afraid to tell you

because I thought
you'd be devastated,

like any good Christian
mother would be!

But it doesn't seem to
bother you, does it?

Are you condoning this behavior?

I do not, I do not.

Good, then let's
send him away.

[ominous orchestral music]

Send him away?

Yeah, there are
good Christian schools

and camps where we can send
him where they'll fix him.

Fix him?

No, what, what are you saying?

No, no, no, please-

- I, I wanted a
Christian family.

This is why I married you.

I thought you were
Russian Orthodox.

You told me you were Russian
Orthodox, you lied to me!

I never lied.

We were supposed to help
each other stay on track,

but you've just been
mocking me this whole time.

Potato and I are
Christian, I promise you-

- Oh, all this, lies, lies!

I don't want to hear it anymore!

Look, you go pack your
bags and I'm gonna take you

to the airport and buy you
two tickets back to Russia.

No, you cannot, you
cannot, please, please!

Please, please, please-

- You really think I can't?

What do you think
the INS will say

if I tell them I don't want
to be married to you anymore?

Oh, please, please!

Huh, huh, what do you
think they will say!

No, no, no, no,
please, please!

No, I promise you.

I promise!

[bell tolls]
[dramatic orchestral music]

[Lena cries]

[Lena vomits]

[slow piano music]

♪ Happy birthday ♪

What's wrong?

Oh, what is, well, what is it?

[Lena cries]

Nothing matters,
this job do not matter.

I just do not know
where else to go.

What is it?

He is kicking us out.

Oh.

He will send us back
to Russia, he said this.

He wants us to go.

Your husband?

He's threatened this
before, hasn't he?

Not like this,
this time he mean it.

Bastard.

Asshole.

My son, [cries] I cannot
have my son go back to Russia,

get drafted in Russian Army.

Well, he has future here.

We come so far,
we cannot go back.

You won't have to go back.

We'll hide you here,
behind the tortilla boxes.

I'll talk to Carrie, maybe
we can find you a lawyer

or something, maybe we
can do something to help.

We are just immigrants,
we have no rights.

That can't be true,
Lena, that can't be true.

You don't have to go,
they cannot kick you out

if they cannot find you.

I feel like I cannot
breathe. [cries]

[slow music]

[car engine revs]

[door slams]

Hello, Lena.

[slow orchestral music]

My name is Grace,
sit with me, please.

You must be so confused,
there's so much to explain.

Grace?

Mm, Grace like
Grace Slick. [laughs]

You must have so many questions.

Questions.

Yes, I have questions.

And where do I start?

When I was a wee
child, I realized

that I wanted to be just
like my little girl cousins.

Deep down, I knew I
was just like them.

When I borrowed one
of their dresses,

I didn't even know it
was supposed to be wrong.

Then my mother saw me.

She straightened me out.

She had this look,
I'll never forget it.

It's like she wanted to kill me.

And after that day, she
never mentioned it again.

But for me, well, every
time I looked at her,

all I could see was
that look on that day.

I didn't wear a dress for
a long time after that,

but, oh, I did let Grace
sneak out just before I went

into the Navy.

But then I met my first wife,

and I thought everything
was gonna be okay somehow.

I loved her.

[slow piano music]

Then she caught me in the dress,

and the names she called me

and the things she
threatened me with. [cries]

She told me I would never be
able to see my child again.

She hated me so much,
[cries] just like my mother.

And

the loathing, it just
rubbed off on me,

and I was steeped in it.

My soul was infused
with this self-hatred.

I tried different drugs
and then I quit them,

move every few years to
try to start a new life,

and then between
trying on dresses,

I tried different religions,

and some of them were
very tolerant to me.

[slow music continues]

But I,

I couldn't stand the tolerance.

It was like an
unfulfilled promise.

They said that God
loved me for who I am.

[overlapping shouting]

And then I'd go
in the real world,

and the real world told me
something very different.

[Protestor] Burn in hell.

[Protestor] Abomination.

I am so sorry.

No, no, I'm sorry, [cries]
I'm sorry I lashed out at you.

You don't know how
much you helped me.

You see, I married a
Russian Orthodox woman

because I thought you
would be narrow-minded

and help me repress this.

But here you are, with so much
love for everybody. [laughs]

And it's this love

[slow orchestral music]

that has allowed
me to be who I am.

Thank you.

[door slams]

[slow orchestral
music continues]

[slow piano music]

♪ Until you find home ♪

[audience applauds]

[Grace] I'm back.

Oh my God, it's Grace.

Oh my God.

I haven't seen you
forever, this is wonderful.

Where have you been?

Oh, gosh, and who's this
adorable little thing?

This is my lovely wife, Lena.

This is your wife?

You're her wife,
she came out to you?

[Lena] Yes.

- Oh my gosh.
- Oh my God.

You know, we have
not seen Ms. Grace

in quite a while, mm-mm.

If leaping in and out of that
closet was an Olympic sport,

she'd have got a
gold medal already.

Very funny.

[Bald Man] In and
out, in and out.

But remember,
girls, no judgment.

Here, make yourself useful.

Oh, everyone has
their own path.

That's right.

Yet we all ended up in here.

That's right, that's
right, queen, it's so good.

Grace lives for karaoke.

[slow piano music]

Oh, this is my song,
I want to go, I want in.

[overlapping chattering]

Bitch is trying to steal
my song, oh no, uh-uh.

Oh, excuse me, excuse me.

Would you be so kind,
[indistinct] here.

♪ Time before I had to make ♪

You're the best, by the way,
I want one of you. [kisses]

♪ Everything I
knew slipped away ♪

♪ And now I see it, I feel it ♪

♪ I breathe it ♪

♪ And now you see it,
but this is mine ♪

♪ But this is ♪

[slow orchestral music]

What is your accent?

What accent?

Come on, what is it?

Russia, but I do not
like talking about it.

Russia, right on, I have
a neighbor who's Russian.

Really, must be my cousin.

Your who?

He's probably my cousin.

Oh, what are you saying?

Sorry, I don't understand.

My cousin, cousin, cousin.

Oh, your cousin, really?

No, I make joke.

Oh.

So is Russia,
like, really cold?

No, my grandma just moved to
Sochi where it's, like, very-

- Oh, God, I love "Broski."

Russian, I knew
you weren't American.

I am American.

No, you're not.

I am.

You're not.

Yes, I am.

You're not American.

I knew you were Russian
from the moment I saw you.

How did you know?

Your crazy Russian
accent. [laughs]

And those cheekbones, those
cheekbones give it away.

Thanks.

My roommate is
reading "War and Peace."

Tolstoy is bad writer, Gogol
and Bulgakov are much better.

What?

Do you love borscht?

Which city are you from?

Vladivostok.

Come again?

Vladivostok.

What, were, what?

Vladivostok.

Nirvana hard rock?

Valley Woodstock?

Vladi [indistinct].

Good job.

Speak Russian to me.

Why?

'Cause it's hot, do it, do it!

But what should I say?

Anything,
Perestroika, babushka.

Really?

Gorbachev. [speaking
in foreign language]

I'm not a parrot.

Fucking do it!

Do it.

Do it!

"Anna Karenina."

Oh, you're fucking
turning me on.

Gulag, Chernobyl.

So fucking hot.

[Vasili speaking in
foreign language]

[men screaming]

♪ Let me love your ♪

♪ Is that because
you're a shining light ♪

♪ No light is needed
when you're close ♪

♪ Nobody else would
make my night ♪

♪ You [indistinct] my
breath and took me higher ♪

♪ You are a ♪

What does that mean?

It means you have
nice ass in Russian.

You want me to come over
and teach you some more?

♪ Fire, fire, fire, fire ♪

♪ You are, you are, you are ♪

♪ You are the fire, fire, fire ♪

♪ Fire, fire, fire ♪

♪ Will you love
me, loving again ♪

♪ Will you forgive me ♪

♪ As friends ♪

♪ Oh, will you free me
from the trouble I'm in ♪

♪ Will you love me, lover ♪

♪ Will you love me forever ♪

♪ Love could make ♪

[Lena sighs]

[phone rings]

Mom?

Potato, I cannot
do this anymore.

What?

Karaoke, transgender is
fine with me, but karaoke?

Nobody wants
karaoke every night.

Are you going to divorce?

[Lena] Yep.

[Vasili] Did you tell Grace?

I will, I will now, I
already told your grandma.

You did, what did grandma say?

Your grandma does not want
me to get another divorce.

Your grandma said I
must do sex change

to become male so Grace and I
can be normal married couple.

[Vasili laughs]

That sounds like Grandma.

I tried to tell
Grandma about karaoke,

but your grandma, she will
never understand karaoke.

Hold on, I will
call you right back.

Grace, we need to talk.

I know, I meant to tell you.

We're gonna be hosting the
Wiccan sister night here.

We're learning how to do spells,

and Tricia's place is the
size of a broom closet.

It smells like
cat piss. [laughs]

Awesome, this is not

what I was going to
talk to you about.

Oh?

[slow orchestral music]

Want to grab
breakfast together?

I can't, I fly back
today, but thank you.

You're sweet.

Are you afraid?

Of what?

[Vasili] To go back to Iraq.

I mean, a little, but I
also love being in the Navy.

If I give you something,

promise you won't
think I'm weird.

I can't promise that
until I see what it is.

Jerk. [laughs]

Okay, I'm not a Jesus
freak or anything,

but I want you to have this.

Oh, only if you
want it, of course.

Really, you're so
sweet, are you sure?

This little lady's been
through a lot with me.

[Lover] I can tell, you
sure you want me to take it?

Because I will take it.

[slow orchestral music]

Be safe.

When I get back, you
have to tell me all

about your life in Russia, okay?

I'm going to make
a movie about it,

and you can watch it
with everyone else.

[Lover] Smart ass.

[slow orchestral
music continues]

[jet engine roars]
[slow piano music]

[announcer speaking
in foreign language]

This is it.

We're about to find
out what it feels like

to have your biggest
dream come true.

Just like in the movies.

I'm ready for our
happy American ending.

[Assistant] Boom, let's cut.

Jesus fucking Christ.

What the heck?
[overlapping chattering]

Um, I really don't appreciate
that kind of language.

[overlapping chattering]

[slow orchestral music]

♪ One, two, ready ♪

[slow rock music]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

♪ One more, one more
dip in your ink ♪

♪ 'Cause my quill is
dry, my quill is dry ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip, don't you think ♪

♪ And I know that's a lie ♪

♪ I know that's a lie ♪

♪ I need your nectar ♪

♪ I want that water ♪

♪ I taste the panic
to see your face ♪

♪ I sip that sweetness
though it's arsenic laced ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip in your ink ♪

♪ 'Cause my quill is
dry, my quill is dry ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip, don't you think ♪

♪ We both know that's a lie ♪

♪ We know that's a lie ♪

♪ I'll feed you with kisses ♪

♪ And drink all your tears ♪

♪ Jump in your ocean
while it's condense ♪

♪ Give me your blood ♪

♪ To fill my pain ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip in your ink ♪

♪ 'Cause my quill is
dry, my quill is dry ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip, don't you think ♪

♪ We both know that's a lie ♪

♪ We both know that's a lie ♪

♪ You'll be the death of me ♪

♪ Slowly killing me ♪

♪ You'll be the death of me ♪

♪ Slowly killing me ♪

♪ Creeping me ♪

♪ Oh, darkness ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip in your ink ♪

♪ 'Cause my quill is
dry, my quill is dry ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip, don't you think ♪

♪ And we know that's a lie ♪

♪ Both know that's a lie ♪

♪ One more, one more,
one more, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ My quill is dry,
my quill is dry ♪

♪ One more, one more
dip in your ink ♪

♪ That's a lie ♪

♪ We both know that's a lie ♪

[slow rock music]

♪ Sometimes and always ♪

♪ I worry I can't help it ♪

♪ And sometimes these days ♪

♪ I see you two lucky ♪

♪ And neither of you empathize ♪

♪ With just how it feels ♪

♪ I'm morbid yet funny ♪

♪ To feel like happiness kills ♪

♪ How useless and foolish ♪

♪ Alsatians like these ♪

♪ But nights like ours ♪

♪ Vaguely devilish tricks ♪

♪ Your love consumes it all ♪

♪ Whenever you're near ♪

♪ I will learn ♪

♪ To not fear ♪