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1
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[Music]
2
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[Music]
3
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- Forgiveness is a journey,
4
00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:45,912
Forgiveness is a journey,
5
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forgiveness is a fucking journey.
6
00:00:51,273 --> 00:00:52,349
My counsellor,
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rather one I trust anyway,
8
00:00:54,198 --> 00:00:55,642
once checking in my room,
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she told me I should write a letter
10
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to every persone I ever disappointed.
11
00:01:02,738 --> 00:01:05,299
That would take my all lifetime, so...
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I'm gonna start with one.
13
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"Dear Leanne,
14
00:01:11,301 --> 00:01:14,022
I'm on my way to see your place for the first time.
15
00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:16,626
How have you been, sis ?
16
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,840
Not too great, I gather.
17
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You told me to come and stay
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with you and Sean
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after I'll go out of the rehab.
20
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It's the only offer I got.
21
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"Come and See the Pacific Ocean"
22
00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:33,771
You said I'd be inspired,
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another one of you fucking
24
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"stay hope", full text.
25
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You failed to mention
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you'd be jumping off a bridge
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five days before I showed up.
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[Music]
29
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- You were the fucking stable once, sis.
30
00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:32,286
I would have liked you to see me,
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00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,420
ninety days and a new man
32
00:02:34,559 --> 00:02:37,757
to give you the chance to be proud
of your little brother for once.
33
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I'm sorry I didn't make the funeral,
34
00:02:43,626 --> 00:02:45,395
even if mom and dad had the decency
35
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to give me some cash for the ticket.
36
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I don't know if I can face them yet.
37
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What would I say ?
38
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[Music]
39
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[Knocking]
40
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[Knocking]
41
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[Door closing]
42
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[Slammed closet]
43
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[Glass falling on the floor]
- Shit !
44
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[Sound of glasses]
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[Something heavy falling on the floor]
46
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[Liquid poured into a glass]
47
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[Sobbing and whimpering]
48
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[Crying]
49
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[Moaning and crying]
50
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[Crying]
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[Moaning]
52
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[Slammed door]
53
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- We never got it right, to begin with.
54
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I've learned in treatment
55
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it's not about trying to cope
56
00:06:07,181 --> 00:06:09,036
with the pains of our childhood.
57
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It's about knowing
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that no matter how fucked up it gets
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there is someone out there
struggling more than you.
60
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[Music]
61
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I just never guessed that person would have been you.
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[Music]
63
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This is fucking hard, sis.
64
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No heroin, no meth,
65
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no barbiturates to flatten me up,
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especially the heroin which has been
67
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my only really good friend all these years.
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[Music]
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- You didn't have a friend, sis ?
70
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We used to be close, really close.
71
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I can't help but think that things
might have been a bit different
72
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if I had answered more of your phone calls.
73
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How the fuck I'm supposed to stay clean
74
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with this on my shoulders ?
75
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[Music]
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♫ I like to myself ♫
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♫ to make a wish come true ♫
78
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♫ hold my head high up ♫
79
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♫ like I was taught to do ♫
80
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♫ It's not a person ♫
81
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♫ but an idea ♫
82
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♫ It's not a person ♫
83
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♫ but an idea ♫
84
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♫ lying next to you ♫
85
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♫ is not enough ♫
86
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♫ And all my memories fade ♫
87
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♫ lost in time alone ♫
88
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♫ My body feels the cold ♫
89
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♫ The warmth that it has known ♫
90
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♫ It's not a person ♫
91
00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:28,900
♫ but an idea ♫
92
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♫ It's not a person ♫
93
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♫ but an idea ♫
94
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♫ lying next to you ♫
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♫ is not enough ♫
96
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♫ Alone amidst the waves ♫
97
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♫ sea keeps me alive ♫
98
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♫ and I spit upon the graves ♫
99
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♫ the day that I'm light ♫
100
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♫ It's not a person ♫
101
00:09:18,244 --> 00:09:23,663
♫ but an idea ♫
102
00:09:23,871 --> 00:09:28,551
♫ It's not a person ♫
103
00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:33,974
♫ but an idea ♫
104
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♫ lying next to you ♫
105
00:09:41,057 --> 00:09:45,660
♫ is not enough ♫
106
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♫ lying next to you ♫
107
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♫ is not enough ♫
108
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[Music]
109
00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:38,472
[Slammed door]
110
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[Sound of poured liquid]
111
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- Maybe you should cut that out.
112
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[Sound of poured liquid]
113
00:11:34,334 --> 00:11:36,736
- Maybe you should mind your own fucking businness !
114
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- This why she did it ?
115
00:11:45,969 --> 00:11:47,106
Eh ?
116
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You don't think I understand ?
117
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Eh ?
118
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,535
- This is disgusting.
119
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,453
Fuck !
120
00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:25,544
Fuck off !
121
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,455
Get out !
122
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:40,660
Get out !
123
00:12:43,519 --> 00:12:46,232
I don't want a fucking junkie in my house.
124
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,897
- Where may I go ?
- I don't fucking care. Get out !
125
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Go sleep in the street. They arrest you.
126
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:09,989
What fuck do you think you're doing ?
127
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:11,557
- I gave it to her.
128
00:13:11,597 --> 00:13:14,002
- It's not yours
- I made it for her.
129
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,548
- Fucking leave it !
130
00:13:19,897 --> 00:13:21,337
Oh... you fucked !
131
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,572
- I'm sorry.
132
00:14:06,122 --> 00:14:08,589
- Something tells me you said that before.
- Never
133
00:14:11,296 --> 00:14:13,431
I've never touched your sister.
134
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Never.
135
00:14:22,984 --> 00:14:24,664
She caught me.
136
00:14:31,992 --> 00:14:33,302
- What ?
137
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:38,711
What ? She caught you what ?
138
00:14:43,196 --> 00:14:45,130
She caught you in the bedroom ?
139
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:47,870
With another woman ?
140
00:14:49,974 --> 00:14:53,125
[Sighing and gasping]
141
00:14:54,331 --> 00:14:56,061
She caught you in bed with a...
142
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,316
with a guy.
143
00:14:57,316 --> 00:14:59,933
[Sighing]
144
00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:11,845
- She kept....
145
00:15:13,686 --> 00:15:15,924
she just dropped her personals on the floor,
146
00:15:15,924 --> 00:15:17,817
she stood there
147
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:21,421
she....
148
00:15:22,858 --> 00:15:26,365
He didn't even grab his clothing and run out.
149
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,263
She looked at me,
150
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,066
she won't even...
151
00:15:33,555 --> 00:15:35,183
the all kinds...
152
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,437
she just stood there... uh...
153
00:15:39,748 --> 00:15:42,589
like she was sending me a warn [sobbing]
154
00:15:46,963 --> 00:15:49,717
She knew, she've been more a stranger
155
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,610
or a ghost
156
00:15:56,492 --> 00:15:58,324
and then...
157
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:03,830
she turned and she laughed.
158
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:18,744
- I think she is fucking idiot.
[Sean sobbing]
159
00:16:19,424 --> 00:16:20,713
I do.
160
00:16:21,123 --> 00:16:23,239
She blamed you for ruining her life and
161
00:16:23,239 --> 00:16:24,584
and now she is just doing
162
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,586
the best she can to ruin yours.
163
00:16:28,126 --> 00:16:29,522
What about...
164
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,557
what abour her family ?
165
00:16:32,228 --> 00:16:33,501
What do we do ?
166
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,595
What I do to,to, to...
167
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,130
You know ?
168
00:16:39,876 --> 00:16:41,467
- She did... she...
169
00:16:45,479 --> 00:16:46,939
I think that....
- She...
170
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:47,006
It's so fucking selfish.
171
00:16:56,564 --> 00:16:57,917
- So...
172
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,088
- She was the last,
173
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,257
the last person I ever wanted
174
00:17:05,203 --> 00:17:07,126
to hurt.
175
00:17:07,989 --> 00:17:09,461
She... she...
176
00:17:09,688 --> 00:17:11,831
she made everything to me,
177
00:17:13,489 --> 00:17:16,235
she knows this, she knows that, didn't she know ?
178
00:17:18,323 --> 00:17:19,739
does she meant,
179
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,641
she meant so much.
180
00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:32,785
And now,
181
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:36,388
I'm not even get to say that I'm sorry.
182
00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:46,766
So fucking selfish.
183
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:46,767
[Sound of waves]
184
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,418
I come a long way from that selfish addict at the end
185
00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:53,333
You'd be happy to see it.
186
00:18:55,574 --> 00:18:57,737
I wish you were here to help me.
187
00:18:58,193 --> 00:19:00,940
get through the pain like you did
when we were kids
188
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,342
from getting "gay bastards" at school and
189
00:19:03,385 --> 00:19:05,472
beat the shit out by dad.
190
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,848
You were the only one who knew
how to dress my wounds
191
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,717
or tried.
192
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:04,070
- I may go for a walk
193
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,008
Just need some air.
194
00:20:16,872 --> 00:20:19,818
- Hey, you're not goin to kill yourself or anything ?
195
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,589
Oh Gods. That was terrible, sorry.
196
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,428
- Get some sleep.
197
00:20:35,028 --> 00:20:36,402
[Door slammed]
198
00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:13,991
[Music]
199
00:21:14,016 --> 00:21:16,900
- I'm learning new things everyday now.
200
00:21:17,171 --> 00:21:18,929
There is no escaping in it
201
00:21:18,954 --> 00:21:21,539
I'm taking that long fucking journey
202
00:21:21,856 --> 00:21:24,338
cause if there is one thing I've learned
203
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,318
is just that
204
00:21:27,092 --> 00:21:28,921
without forgiveness
205
00:21:29,697 --> 00:21:31,491
we got nothing.
206
00:21:31,657 --> 00:22:06,826
[Music tille the end]
13316
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