Original subtitles

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SPIDER-MAN: 'Twas the night before Halloween,

and all through Manhattan,

not a criminal was stirring,

not even Green Gob...lin.

Might as well enjoy the peace and quiet while I can.

Manhattan, goblin, they sort of rhyme.

MAN [OVER RADIO]: So Colonel Jameson,

any early trick-or-treaters up there?

Hope not. We're fresh out of candy.

But seriously, I still remember my first Halloween.

Heh. I was an astronaut. Big surprise, right?

Ah, as much as I love the beauty and tranquility of space,

I'm glad we're landing tomorrow

to see the costumes of the next generation of dreamers.

Plus this year, my astronaut costume rocks.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Life support's still up. Otherwise--

Otherwise, it's "Houston, we have a problem."

[

]

[

]

Livin' on the edge Fighting crime, spinning webs

Swinging from The highest ledge

He can leap above our heads

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah

Villains on the rise And the city's victimized

Looking up with no surprise Arriving in the speed of time

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man

Heat shields are fairly trashed.

Anyone know a good body shop up here?

MAN [ON TV]: Although Colonel John Jameson maintains his sense of humor,

the real question remains:

Will the shuttle be able to land safely?

The damaged heat shield,

coupled with the loss of the shuttle's navigational computer

greatly increases the hazard.

We heard from Foswell?

Already in California

awaiting the shuttle's landing.

[WHISPERS] Assuming it does land.

We'll just get out of your way, Mr. Jameson.

Shout out if you need anything.

[

]

[GLIDER WHOOSHES NEARBY]

[

]

[GREEN GOBLIN CACKLING]

[BEEPING]

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[CACKLES]

Keep laughing, Kermit.

I hear green's the new black and blue.

GREEN GOBLIN: You should be green with envy,

because you lack my fashion sense.

[COUGHING]

Oh, and built-in gas mask.

[CACKLES]

[

]

[GROANS]

Goblin,

know you're out there.

Out there.

In here.

Everywhere.

Yes, this will soon be my town, Hammie,

and I could use a good right-hand flattop.

Ugh. Not gonna happen.

You think I'm afraid of a goofball dressed for Halloween?

Can't be afraid of what you don't respect.

And I've only ever respected one man enough to fear.

The Big Man,

alias L. Thompson Lincoln.

See, I've already peeked under his mask.

Lincoln is the mask.

The Big Man's Tombstone

because that's all that's left when you cross him.

Well, if that's true,

then a man like you must surely have acquired

life insurance.

MAN [ON TV]: The astronauts have done all they can

to repair the damage.

Now Colonel Jameson has only one chance

to bring his crew home.

He must manually pilot the craft

to reenter the Earth's atmosphere

at precisely the right angle,

or they'll burn up on reentry.

What's that, Harry?

Nothing. A new soda.

Then you won't mind giving me a sip.

No!

This is why you were passed out the other night.

Harry, whatever that stuff is, you need help.

This is the help.

Four-point-oh GPA,

football stud, in-crowd.

All thanks to the Green.

Harry, no--

A few blackouts are a small price to pay.

So spare me your concern.

My life's great.

[PHONE BEEPS] Dial Hammerhead.

[PHONE RINGING]

GREEN GOBLIN: Oh, I'm sorry,

Hammerhead can't come to the phone right now.

He's a bit...tied up.

[LAUGHS]

You gotta love the classics.

Hammerhead can take care of himself.

And you as well, apparently.

He had a portable jump drive

with enough incriminating evidence

to put dear Mr. Lincoln behind bars forever.

Not to worry.

The drive's in little ol' Gobby's possession now.

[GROWLS]

Ah, ah, ah. I don't have it on me.

But I will have it tonight.

When tonight? Where?

Believe me, you'll know.

I know a trap when I--

But that's what makes it fun.

Besides, what choice do you have?

Oh, and, come alone.

[

]

[SPIDER-MAN SIGHS]

SPIDER-MAN: How does she do it?

One look and next thing you know,

I'm swinging cross-town to have a talk with Harry.

Oh, look who's finally shown his ugly rubber face.

[

]

Ho-ho! Landed me a big one.

Who's landed whom? Ha-ha-ha!

[GRUNTS]

Where you been, Greeny, vacation?

Been looking for you.

[CACKLING]

[GRUNTS]

We both want Tombstone out of the picture.

Aah!

For totally different reasons.

Details, details.

And speaking of details,

I've got a jump drive that can take Tombstone down for good.

Great. Fork it over, I'll take you both in.

Ah, ah, ah. I don't have it on me.

But I'll have it tonight.

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

When tonight? Where?

Anyone else getting d?j? vu?

Oh, well, let's run with it.

Believe me, you'll know.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[GREEN GOBLIN CACKLING]

SPIDER-MAN: If Gwen's right,

losing Gobby will seem way less painful

than talking to Harry.

Huh?

SPIDER-MAN: Not even sure if Gobby came in here.

But he wouldn't be the first whackadoo

to target Harry's dad.

Whoa. Been coming here for years,

and I've never seen that door before.

Nah. I-I mean, so the guy likes masks.

But that doesn't mean that he--

B-Besides, Gobby keeps stealing OsCorp tech,

so unless those thefts

were staged to throw off suspicion.

Hey, Dad, I'm home.

SPIDER-MAN: Oh, great. Now Harry's got two problems.

How can I talk to him about either

with "Green Gosborn" in the next room?

Dad?

[SIGHS]

Ah.

I'm not kidding, Harry,

we need to talk.

HARRY [ON PHONE]: Then come on up.

Not a good idea. Just come down.

Oh, so you can give me an earful for Gwen?

Pfft. No, thanks.

Besides, I need to get in costume.

I'll meet you in an hour

at the Bleecker Street Carnival.

[

]

Thanks for supporting Midtown High

and happy Halloween.

I mean...

Arr, matey, enjoy the cookie.

MARY JANE: Uh, it-- It's Gwen, right?

GWEN: Uh, hi. Hi, Mary Jane.

I need to find Pete. Have you seen him?

I was going to ask you.

He went to talk to Harry--

BOYS [CHANTING]: Lean to the left. Lean to the right.

Stand up, sit down, Fight, fight, fight! Go Mustangs!

Woo-hoo! Shake those pompoms!

Yeah, shake tho--

Wait. Are they mocking us?

KONG: Trick or treat Smell my feet

Give me something Good to eat.

Oh, come on, you're not gonna break up with me over a cookie.

Uh, are you?

So you as dangerous as you look?

Ah, wouldn't you like to know?

You haven't complimented my costume.

Trying to get the latest on the shuttle.

Which matters to me, why?

Maybe because John Jameson's like an older brother to me.

RAND: And because he may not make it.

MAN [ON TV]: I'm told that as the shuttle enters Earth's atmosphere,

NASA will likely lose contact.

Whatever happens, Foswell, you give it to me straight.

FOSWELL: Sure, J.J. S-Straight.

[

]

JOHN: Fasten your seatbelts,

it's gonna be a bumpy night.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

FOSWELL: Nothing yet, boss.

Nothing.

Nothing.

J.J., I-I'm sorry.

Wait! There it is!

It's landing!

[

]

[ALL CHEERING]

They're safe!

[ALL CHEERING]

All right! Yeah! All right!

He did it.

My boy did it.

Hey, hey!

I'm not paying you bums to watch television!

Get me a new layout in 17 seconds,

or you're all fired!

Go, go, go!

Congratulations, boss.

It's great news.

Heh, it's the news. What are these?

A couple of freaks in costumes? Worthless.

The Bugle's celebrating a real hero.

My son John.

But w-what do I do with--?

Sell 'em to the Globe for all I care.

Ha-ha. That rag will print anything.

Mr. Osborn. Didn't expect to see you back tonight.

And through the front door no less.

You wanna rule the world, you don't punch time clocks.

[EXPLOSION OUTSIDE]

[ALARM BEEPING] MAN: Mr. Osborn!

He took it, stole it.

A thief? Here?

What did he steal?

The Inhibitor prototype.

Freeze, dirt bag!

[GRUNTS]

[

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[CHUCKLES]

[CACKLING]

[

]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Gwen?

GWEN: Oh, Peter, finally.

I've been calling and--

What's up with Harry?

He's meeting me at the carnival.

Uh, I'm already here. Where are you?

Pete?

Nice costume, huh?

FLASH: I'm gonna cream Osborn.

The little wimp was supposed to be the top of our pyramid.

Heh, heh. Hey, look.

It's the Spectacular Spider-Geek.

[LAUGHS]

Whoa!

[ALL GROANING]

Gotta say, tiger,

you fill out that costume nicely.

Very nicely.

You can web me up anytime, Petey.

Puny Parker?

He looks nothing like Spidey.

I should've been Spider-Man.

Don't worry, Flash,

you fill out your costume nicely too.

[FIREWORKS SCREECHING]

[CROWD GASPS]

Goblin.

Pete, we should really find Harry.

Pete?

[FIREWORKS SCREECHING]

So Gobby offered you the secret toy surprise too.

Trap? Trap.

Yeah, figured. Race you inside.

Ugh, always with the drama.

This is so embarrassing.

TOMBSTONE: And disappointing.

Did you really think you needed a jump drive to protect you?

Did you really think a jump drive could protect you?

Ah, come on, boss,

you can't have fallen for that.

There's no drive, no incriminating evidence.

There never was.

GREEN GOBLIN: Yes, yes, I'm a big fat liar.

GREEN GOBLIN: Like we didn't all know this was a trap.

[

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[

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GREEN GOBLIN: Welcome to the Green Goblin's House of Horror.

Or should I say Refinery of Revulsion?

[LAUGHS]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[

]

Uh, thanks?

Take down the Goblin,

or at least unmask him,

and we'll call it even.

Uh, excuse me,

who rescued who from the molten steel?

[GRUNTS]

GREEN GOBLIN: Oh-ho-ho! Wipeout!

[

]

[GREEN GOBLIN GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

[

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Next time you throw a bash, Gobby,

leave out snacks,

your guests will stay longer.

Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk. How embarrassing.

But at least I brought party favors.

[GRUNTS]

[

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FLASH: Terrifying, huh?

Or is nothing scary after seeing me in a skirt?

The skirt's cool.

I know you lost a bet,

but you made the best of it.

Glad you feel that way.

I mean, now that me and Liz have split up--

Whoa, pompoms to yourself, big guy.

I like you,

but I won't be your replacement girl.

This redhead's a free agent,

and plans to keep it that way.

No Harry. No Pete.

Someone is so getting the look.

[

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[GRUNTING]

Why don't you just give up?

[GRUNTS]

Because I know your secret.

I know whose face is behind that mask.

We all wear masks, Spider-Man.

But which one is real?

The one that hides your face,

or the one that is your face?

I know you're Norman Osborn.

Ha-ha-ha! Am I?

Impressive webbing.

Now try mine.

[

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[GRUNTS]

So, what do you think of my gob-webs?

[CACKLES]

Now, let's see what cracks first.

My gob-webs or your bones.

[GRUNTING]

Well, that taught us nothing.

Perhaps a more drastic experiment is required.

Happy landings, Spider-Man.

This better work.

[

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[GRUNTS]

Okay, all this pain at least proves I'm still alive.

[CACKLING]

Aah!

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

Right, kinda used it all up.

[

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[GRUNTS]

SPIDER-MAN: Go ahead. Run.

I know where you live.

[

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I knew it.

[GRUNTING]

[GASPING]

You're the Green Goblin?

No. Uh, th--

This isn't my costume.

I'm a cheerleader and I--

[GROANS]

Harry? Spider-Man?

What is-- You're not limping.

Why would I be limping?

Why is Harry wearing--?

Where did this come from?

Dad, I d-- What is it?

Globulin Green.

An early stage, experimental performance enhancer.

Highly unstable and addictive.

You stole it from OsCorp, didn't you?

Why would you do something so dangerous?

So stupid?

[BONE CRACKING]

For you!

[GRUNTS]

You told me to man up.

So I took the Green

to become the son you always wanted me to be.

[SIRENS APPROACHING] To become a man,

like you.

[GROANS]

I must have blacked out again.

I... I don't remember anything.

[GASPS]

But I can't be the Goblin.

Can I?

[GRUNTS]

I never should have taken it!

[PANTING]

I ruined everything.

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so, sorry.

This makes no sense.

If Har-- If this kid's the Goblin,

why would he attack the Big Man?

Why attack OsCorp?

I've had dealings with the Big Man.

But when I tried to extricate myself,

I was threatened by his stooge.

Hammerhead.

Harry must have overheard.

Under the influence of the Green,

his subconscious created someone

who could take the Big Man down.

Now, as to why he attacked me...

Maybe I've got some anger issues.

[CHUCKLES]

I will not allow this.

I'll say I was the Goblin.

After all, I invented the Green.

I'm the obvious suspect.

No.

He needs you.

And what good could you do him

locked away for a crime you didn't commit?

Didn't I?

This is all my fault.

I drove Harry to...

I will get him help, I swear.

If you'll let me.

Me?

If you turn him in,

if the Big Man learns Harry was the Goblin,

he wouldn't survive the night.

Please.

He's my only child.

SPIDER-MAN: And my best friend.

The Goblin disappears.

Forever.

Leaving a mystery that never gets solved.

Thank you.

[

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And why should I care what the Globe runs on its front page?

Because their Spider-Man scoop,

and Parker's pictures of it,

slaughtered our space shuttle coverage at the newsstands.

The people have spoken.

Get that traitor Parker in here

and lock him into an exclusive deal.

If they want Spider-Man, we'll give 'em Spider-Man.

Here's tomorrow's front-page headline:

JAMESON: "Spider-Man: Threat or Menace?"

MARY JANE: Hey, tiger.

Oh, hey, M.J.

M.J.?

What are you doing here?

I go to school here now.

Midtown's Theater Magnet accepted me.

I wanted to tell you last night,

but you disappeared,

as usual.

Uh, sorry, I--

I went looking for Harry

but I never found him.

Then you probably haven't heard.

Harry's taking a leave of absence from school

to travel abroad.

[WHISPERS] And get the help he needs.

And that makes it a happy ending, right?

FOSWELL: So, Colonel Jameson, uh, good to be home?

Yup. Back on solid ground.

[BOTH GASP]

Where it's nice and safe.

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