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1
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,798
Hello, everybody.
2
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,834
How are you? How are you?
3
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,537
Thank you. Good to see you.
Thank you for coming.
4
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,778
Cold out there!
5
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,213
That is cold.
6
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,283
Hello, everybody!
7
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,386
Hello!
8
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:30,057
Hello. Welcome to The Grand
Tour. Happy Christmas.
9
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,692
This week, we are coming -
10
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:35,229
if you can see through
the drizzle dribbling down
the windows -
11
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,664
from Scandinavia.
12
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,868
Oh, yeah.
13
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,236
This, of course...
14
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:45,639
This, of course, is the home
of those gloomy dramas
15
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,642
where a weird woman
in a jumper solves a murder
16
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,579
by staring at a lake
for six hours.
17
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,848
This will probably be
the jolliest programme
18
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,218
to come out of this
neck of the woods since...
19
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,619
... Four Funerals
And A Funeral .
20
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,020
- Yeah.
21
00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,423
Swedish rom-com that was.
Erm...
22
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,325
When Harry Shot Sally .
23
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:05,693
Oh, a laugh a minute.
24
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:08,196
The Girl With
The Pearl Necklace. No.
25
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:12,800
-That's another sort of
Scandinavian film.
-Really?
26
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,268
Yeah.
27
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,306
Anyway, specifically,
28
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:22,075
we are deep inside
the Arctic Circle in Finland.
29
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:27,481
There you go.
And Finland, of course...
30
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:33,354
Finland, of course, is home
to every single racing driver
currently...
31
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,955
-What?
-What, all of them?
32
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:39,092
Well, apart from
Nico Rosberg, who is Finnish,
33
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,529
but, for some reason,
claims he's German.
34
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,234
Why does he do that?
I have no idea.
35
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,468
Who else is there, then?
36
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,736
Well, there's Mika Salo,
37
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,538
Mika Häkkinen,
Kimi Räikkönen.
38
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,274
Hang on, they're just
anagrams of the same name,
aren't they?
39
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,276
Then you've got rallying.
40
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,611
There's Tommi Mäkinen,
Timo Mäkinen,
41
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,080
Juha Kankkunen, Ari Vatanen.
42
00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:01,649
More anagrams.
43
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,618
Kinky Wankinen.
44
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,956
Manky Pantiden.
45
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,591
Really?
46
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,760
I'm getting
slightly carried away now.
47
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,028
Seriously, I went on
Wikipedia last night
48
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,266
to look for famous Finns
who aren't racing drivers.
49
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,600
Put up the list I found.
50
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,336
And I noticed something -
they're all men.
51
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,372
All of them.
52
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,674
Are there any famous
Finnish women?
53
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,176
Finnish people?
54
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:33,314
Nobody thinks so.
They're all...
55
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,648
I know why, OK?
56
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,352
It's because all Finnish
women, at the age of 19,
57
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,020
move to England
to be au pairs.
58
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,658
I actually had three Finnish
au pairs over the years
for my children.
59
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,427
-Did you?
-Yeah. It was always funny.
60
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:49,096
You'd go to Heathrow airport
to pick up your new au pair,
61
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:53,200
and there'd always be a row
of 30-something fathers
waiting at the gate
62
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:56,337
for their Scandinavian
au pair to come out.
63
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,807
And there was one year
I've never forgotten.
64
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:03,511
This huge moose
lumbered out of the door,
65
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:08,048
and the man next to me looked
at his piece of paper and
went, "Oh, for God's sake!"
66
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,353
That's not good.
67
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,959
-Shall we get on with
the show?
-Yes, good idea.
68
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:23,464
Because tonight
in our television
programme about cars...
69
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,433
I eat some cheddar.
70
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,937
Richard says
he doesn't want any.
71
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,039
I don't want cheese.
72
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:37,611
And James compares
a Ford GT40 to a Ferrari P3.
73
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,180
Avanti!
74
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:43,050
But first, if you are
watching this in America,
75
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,818
you may be amazed to hear
76
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:50,023
that the Ford Mustang
has never been sold,
officially, in the UK.
77
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,760
Well, until now,
because Ford has now decided
78
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,863
that the latest Mustang
will be sold in the UK
79
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:59,032
with a V8 engine
and right-hand drive.
80
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:03,471
Mm, and this has made
our other resident American
very happy.
81
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,573
He was so excited, in fact,
82
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,275
that when the first
right-hand-drive Mustang
83
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,277
arrived at the docks
in the UK,
84
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,680
he was actually there
to meet it.
85
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,404
It'll be here any minute.
86
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,317
That is it. Are we ready?
87
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:53,821
This is the moment.
It's touched down!
88
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,822
Go, go, go!
89
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:05,165
Look, it's a bit gloomy,
isn't it?
90
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:08,769
It's not very welcoming.
Have you got anything
more upbeat?
91
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,442
Forget it!
Forget it! Forget it!
92
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,577
Forget it.
93
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,584
I'm so excited,
my tinkle is fizzing.
94
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,759
Oh, yeah!
95
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,833
Oh. Sorry about that.
96
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,935
We really are useless
over here.
97
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,972
It's one of the reasons we
needed your help in the war.
98
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,877
I decided that, first of all,
99
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,179
I'd show
the new Mustang around,
100
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,515
so I headed for London...
101
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,116
which is the capital city.
102
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,672
Ah, now,
this is Tower Bridge.
103
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,742
Interesting.
It's very, very old.
104
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,077
But it folds
completely in half
105
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:27,047
so that, in the old days,
the horses could go through.
106
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,253
Now, that's
the Houses of Parliament,
107
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,757
which are a series of houses
in which we keep
all our idiots.
108
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,427
That clock thing,
that's Big Ben.
109
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:44,632
I know it's not what you call
big, but... but we couldn't
just call it Ben.
110
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,302
And that is the Cenotaph,
111
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:53,106
where we remember those
who died fighting for us.
112
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,544
Slowing down a bit here.
113
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,945
Show some respect.
114
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,751
No idea what that is.
It wasn't here this morning.
115
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,355
A cyclist, you want to be
careful of those.
116
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,691
Small
but very angry creatures.
117
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,262
That's the army.
118
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,598
They're the ones
who shot at your White House.
119
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,899
Sorry about that.
120
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,636
Having seen
all of the sights,
121
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,738
we headed out of town
122
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,574
so I could do this.
123
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,580
There it is.
124
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:36,817
That is the soundtrack
that Britain has been missing
for 51 years -
125
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:39,219
real American V8 muscle.
126
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,960
We just don't make cars like
this on our side of the pond.
127
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,798
All that
lazy-but-determined torque.
128
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:54,802
Squeeze the throttle
in any gear at any speed...
129
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,337
...and there's
an inevitability
to the way it moves off.
130
00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:00,608
It's like arm wrestling
a solar system -
you're gonna lose.
131
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,820
It is weird...
132
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,923
driving a Mustang
from this side.
133
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,691
It's like suddenly
changing your mind
134
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,794
after 50 years of marriage
and sleeping on the other
side of the bed.
135
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,132
It's also weird
driving a car with a big V8,
136
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,267
reversing camera,
air-conditioned seats,
137
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:32,105
rain-sensing wipers
that you can buy for £37,000.
138
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:35,643
That's half of what you'd pay
for a BMW M4. Half.
139
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,081
Once we were in
the countryside proper,
140
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,651
I continued
my sightseeing tour.
141
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,855
Look, I've drawn your badge
on a hill.
142
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,163
Jeremy did that one.
143
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,735
Sorry.
144
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,074
Eventually,
we arrived at Stonehenge.
145
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,345
That,
you'll be amazed to learn,
146
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,381
is an ancient calendar.
147
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,418
Or a clock. Or a church.
148
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:23,156
My tour of Britain
was then interrupted
by an unwelcome arrival.
149
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,660
What are you doing here?
150
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,562
Well,
I have come to remind you -
151
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,398
cos you've obviously
forgotten,
152
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,866
cos you're too giddy -
153
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:36,003
that we have no need
for the Mustang in Britain.
154
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,171
Because if you want to spend,
155
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,341
what, £30,000-£35,000
on a fast Ford,
156
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:44,878
you'd buy a Focus RS, cos
that was designed for here.
157
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,514
No, you'd settle for that
in the UK
158
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,317
because you couldn't
buy this, but now you can.
159
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,719
That is the point.
160
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,721
Would you wear chaps?
161
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,923
No, because we have trousers.
162
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,958
What about cowboy...
Oh, you are. Cowboy boots.
163
00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,693
Well, it's appropriate.
I'm welcoming...
164
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,363
Listen, I don't want
everything from America,
I just want the Mustang.
165
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,597
-Stupid.
-No, America--
166
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,266
It wasn't designed for here.
167
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,736
-Would you wear a Stetson?
-Well, no.
168
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,738
"It's cold out,
I'll wear a Stetson."
169
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,639
No! You wear a bobble hat.
170
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,374
That's a bobble hat.
171
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,276
Oh! No, hang on.
172
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,412
-I've just realised.
-What?
173
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,015
Erm... I-I don't want
to talk to you any more.
174
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,769
Anyway...
175
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:45,405
Anyway, we shall
pick that up later on.
176
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,975
But right now
it's time to drop it a cog
177
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,779
and hook a left
into Conversation Street.
178
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,791
-Serious. It's serious.
-It is serious stuff, this.
179
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,360
Now, look, in Britain
we are always being told
180
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,830
that the Scandinavians
are brilliant at driving,
181
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:13,666
and that's because they would
be, because they have
to deal with all that snow.
182
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:17,805
Mm, they're brilliant
because what they do
most of all is crash.
183
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,672
Well, you're absolutely
right, as it turns out,
184
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,542
cos I've got some interesting
statistics here. Erm...
185
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:27,114
In Britain, 1.2% of accidents
result in fatalities.
186
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,817
Here, I'm afraid, it's 5.1%.
187
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,819
Yeah, and it's not just
the Finns, either,
188
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,821
if I may be so bold.
189
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,289
Our Senior
International Producer -
190
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,825
that's his job title -
191
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,592
came over to Finland
the other day,
192
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,728
rented himself a BMW
at the airport -
193
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:44,064
not a Ford or an Opel,
you'll note, a BMW -
194
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,366
and on his way to
the location here,
195
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,700
this happened.
196
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,903
He did! He did!
197
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,272
When I say he's our Senior
International Producer,
198
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,842
he's now our Junior
International Producer.
199
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,477
-Our Junior Local Producer.
-Yeah.
200
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,247
Very local. Specifically,
the stationery cupboard.
201
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,883
-He can produce that.
-That's all
he's in charge of.
202
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,852
How did he do that?!
203
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:08,255
The thing is, what I don't
understand is how the Finns
manage to go fast enough
204
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,323
to have a crash
of any sort at all,
205
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,593
because the speeding fines
here are insane.
206
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,662
They're means tested,
207
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,530
which means
a guy here recently
208
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:20,267
was caught doing 49mph
through a 30 zone
209
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:25,105
and he was fined
112,000 euros.
210
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,040
That's a speeding fine!
211
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,009
Are they really that high
in Finland?
212
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,978
They are?
213
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,345
A hundred and twelve...
214
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,746
112,000.
215
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:36,483
-Imagine getting that
in the post!
-Well, it's interesting.
216
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,419
Actually, there was
a Finnish minister
recently said
217
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,189
that the government
needs those speeding fines
218
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,524
to balance the books,
they said.
219
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,995
They actually said, "Speeding
is good for the country."
220
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,363
That is actually what...
221
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,165
Because it is. Every country.
222
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:55,402
Right. We should adopt that.
223
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,271
-Speeding is good for you.
-It's your social duty.
224
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,507
-A bit more conversation
for you.
-Oh, good!
225
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,677
I think, with the exception
of Rolls-Royce,
226
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:08,748
Volvo now make the best
car interiors of anybody.
227
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,385
They do.
They're very, very good.
228
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,421
I don't like to,
but I agree with you.
229
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:18,158
because I went in the new S90
the other day,
and the interior is superb.
230
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,693
-We've got
a picture of it here.
-Yes, that one.
231
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,395
They use pale colours.
232
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,497
They've got pale-coloured
seats, pale-coloured carpets,
pale wood,
233
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,400
and that makes it feel light
and airy and spacious.
234
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,137
The only problem is
that in one of those
235
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,473
you couldn't enjoy
a chocolate Magnum ice cream.
236
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,576
It's all right,
I don't eat ice cream.
237
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,645
It's something to do with
being straight.
238
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:42,950
What? What?
239
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,317
Why are you applauding him?
240
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,088
What do you mean?
241
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:50,457
Are you saying
everyone who likes ice...?
242
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,625
Ice cream is a bit,
you know....
243
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,028
You're saying all children
are homosexual?
244
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,363
No, but...
245
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,165
There's nothing
wrong with it,
246
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,101
but a grown man
eating an ice cream,
you know, it's a bit...
247
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,835
it's that way
rather than that way.
248
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,171
It is...
249
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,007
Welcome to the inside of
Richard Hammond's head.
250
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,109
I'm right. I can't believe
you can't see that.
251
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:10,510
It's easy.
It's in front of you.
252
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,480
You could enjoy a 99
in there.
253
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,415
-You mean a 69?
-No...
254
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,151
Ninety-nine. But you couldn't
have the chocolate thingy.
255
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,453
-My case rests!
-No, the chocolate thing!
256
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,522
-Exactly!
-You know what I mean.
257
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,992
No,
but if you had that Volvo,
258
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,393
you could have
a white magnum...
259
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,161
- True.
- ...or a Milky Bar.
260
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,797
Yeah,
but not a Double Decker.
261
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,199
Well, a Flake is worse.
262
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,334
No, Double Decker's worse.
263
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,535
Double Decker...
264
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,704
Do you all know what I mean
by the Double Decker?
265
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,873
It is unique among chocolate
confectionery items.
266
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,775
Take a bite
as you're driving along,
267
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,012
and a bit about this big, OK,
268
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,646
silently breaks away...
269
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,916
...goes down
between your legs
270
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,751
and melts.
271
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,286
So when you get out,
272
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:56,123
everybody thinks
you've had some kind
of trouser accident.
273
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:59,559
This big brown stain right...
274
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,495
-I know what you mean.
-It does happen.
275
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,131
A Flake is worse.
276
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,798
No, it just isn't!
277
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,635
A Flake is advertised
as "the crumbliest,
flakiest chocolate".
278
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,504
-It is worse.
-This is a hot topic on
Conversation Street.
279
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,539
It is!
280
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,607
I think we should settle it
here and now.
281
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,876
I'm going to go into
our travelling box.
282
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,883
Our travelling box of
chocolate confectionery,
and I'm going to...
283
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,852
Let's settle it
with a competition, yes?
284
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,320
I'm gonna give you
James's Flake
285
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,222
and you the Double Decker.
286
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:33,493
I'll turn that over, so then
you'll see how much spills
off as I eat the Flake.
287
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,562
-Not much. Right, ready?
-This is scientific.
288
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,865
Here we go. Oh.
Some of it's already crum...
289
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,368
This is cheating, this one.
290
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,103
OK, no,
clear away the debris.
291
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,072
No, I need to... Jesus!
292
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,475
-That's part of eating it!
-It isn't part of eating it!
I haven't even begun.
293
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,477
-But you've got to unwrap it.
-Ssh!
294
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,444
Cheat.
295
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,852
-What?
-Jeremy,
you know that advert?
296
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:02,089
Girl in...
297
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:06,126
Girl in the the field
of poppies - we're not
seeing that right now.
298
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,694
-I am.
-I'm not.
299
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,995
Right, ready? Watch this.
300
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,098
He's going in. First bite.
301
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,865
Oh, it's a big fall
of chocolate!
302
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,135
Mm.
- It's a heavy sprinkling,
that.
303
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,204
That is just a light dusting
of chocolate.
304
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,106
-A light dusting, yeah, OK.
-Right, James May.
305
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:23,810
Moving over to James May
and his Double Decker.
This is exciting, isn't it?
306
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,314
-This is a great
car programme.
-Groundbreaking stuff, yeah.
307
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,582
-Quiet, please.
-I can't believe...
308
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:33,019
- I can't believe this hasn't
been done before.
309
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,122
He's going in.
He's taking a bite.
310
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,991
His poor old gnash...
His teeth!
311
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,393
Oh!
312
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:44,297
It's a catastrophic fall!
The clear winner...
313
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:48,768
The Double Decker
is worse than the Flake.
314
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:51,804
There's the Flake.
There's the Double Decker.
315
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,541
So, there we are.
Using science,
we have now established...
316
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,977
...if you've got a Volvo,
don't have a Double Decker.
317
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,312
Ever.
318
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,848
Or an ice cream, because
he... Oh, no, forget it.
319
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,952
Let's move a little further
along Conversation Street,
shall we?
320
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,820
Erm...
A few weeks ago, Amazon,
321
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:11,158
they ran an advert
for our show, and we're
rather pleased with it.
322
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,425
See, it's got everything in.
323
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,627
-Yeah, the sense of travel.
-Logo.
324
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,063
-And there's even the goat.
-Yeah, no, that's perfect.
325
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:21,000
-Everything you need there.
-All you need for the advert.
It's on the screen.
326
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,635
It's good, isn't it?
327
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:27,073
Yeah. All the essentials are
there. Everything you need.
328
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,541
Everything you need to see.
329
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,779
Actually...
330
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:33,980
All the important stuff.
331
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,648
Hammond,
I'm sorry to do this,
332
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,651
but before the show launched,
Amazon did another advert,
OK,
333
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,654
which somebody sent to me
on a tweet,
which I screen grabbed,
334
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,591
so the quality's not good,
but I have brought it along.
335
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,825
Here it is.
336
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:46,926
Oh, for God's sake!
337
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,436
I like their marketing
department a lot.
338
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,271
I think that's enough
Conversation Street,
339
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,872
so let's get back
to our film.
340
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:03,276
Yes. Earlier on,
I was in the right-hand-drive
Ford Mustang,
341
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,345
showing it the sights
around our country.
342
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,214
Unfortunately, he turned up
343
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:11,418
and tried to argue that
the similarly priced
Ford Focus was a better bet.
344
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:17,224
-Yeah, I did do that.
-I responded by driving off
and refusing to talk to you.
345
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,591
A bit rudely, I thought.
346
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,834
I'm sorry, this is my film,
my tour of England,
347
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,437
and I didn't want him
spoiling it.
348
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,243
This thing's bloody awesome.
349
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:39,812
Listen to that bellow.
350
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,014
This thing squats
on its haunches.
351
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,651
This is what
it's built to do.
352
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:50,690
Every crackle, pop and bang
is just connected to every
synapse and sinew in me.
353
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,262
Oh, no.
354
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,703
This is like a first date
for me, and on a first date,
355
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:07,607
you don't want a fat,
balding uncle tagging along.
356
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:12,211
So what I'm gonna do now...
is lose him.
357
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:19,218
It's Hammer Time!
Shock and awe!
358
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,661
It's Bond versus Bourne.
359
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:40,307
He's got five litres.
I've only got 2.3.
360
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:43,410
Is he going twice as fast?
No, he is not.
361
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,651
Corner coming up.
There's no need to panic
any more in a Mustang,
362
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,586
because, for the first time,
363
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,988
the Mustang has
independent rear suspension.
364
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,496
Ooh!
365
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:09,702
The cornering speeds
this thing can achieve...
beggar belief.
366
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,715
How does it grip that well?!
367
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:30,256
I'm in a car chase
in a Mustang.
368
00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:31,724
I am Steve McQueen.
369
00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:39,466
Try that on.
370
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,471
I've got it in Sport Mode,
371
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,873
which makes the exhaust
pop and bang.
372
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:51,010
Woohoo! Mine!
373
00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:57,684
Oh, my God!
374
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,920
Flat out, yeah.
375
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:05,191
And it still grips!
376
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,695
What is the point of traction
control on this thing?
377
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,864
It's like putting a
nymphomania control on a nun.
378
00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,711
Oh, God!
379
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,727
Where's he gone?
380
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:45,432
How did he do that?
How did he get away from me
381
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:48,267
in something
from the 18th century?
382
00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:49,902
Especially when I'm driving
383
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:54,306
what is basically
a turbocharged barnacle.
384
00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:59,479
This has the most
sophisticated
four-wheel-drive system
385
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,013
fitted to any car.
386
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:06,619
Not even a Nissan GTR
could live with this.
387
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,960
The Mustang, well,
that's for cruising down
388
00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:18,030
the Pacific Coast Highway,
listening to Don Henley.
389
00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:21,033
This is for storming up
the Stelvio Pass,
390
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,735
listening to the Clash.
391
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:29,909
But while it's a grippy,
technological masterpiece,
392
00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:35,381
it still has the blue-collar
character of its ancestors.
393
00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:40,720
In many ways, this reminds me
of the old Escort Cosworth,
and that was a great car.
394
00:23:40,787 --> 00:23:43,523
I actually had one in
the '90s. I called it Gary.
395
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:47,994
It started every morning
and it always went,
"Do you want some?!"
396
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,563
It was just
John Terry, really,
with windscreen wipers.
397
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,703
Meanwhile,
having got rid of the ape,
398
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:59,739
I was back on
my sightseeing tour.
399
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,542
This is our Cheddar Gorge.
400
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:06,613
Obviously it's not as big
as your gorge.
401
00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:08,515
The Grand Canyon is bigger.
402
00:24:08,581 --> 00:24:11,851
Well, it's longer
and deeper... and wider.
403
00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:14,554
Mm. But it doesn't have
any cheese in it.
404
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:16,288
Why can't you
just leave me alone?
405
00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:19,258
I'm just saying, everything
in America comes with cheese,
406
00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:20,927
apart from the Grand Canyon.
407
00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:24,697
Whereas this canyon
does come with cheese,
and it's delicious.
408
00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:26,398
-Here, have some.
-I don't want cheese.
409
00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:29,001
-It's better than
Monterey Jack in a tube.
-You're ruining this!
410
00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:31,838
No, you are, because
you are telling everyone
411
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:36,375
that the Mustang is better
than the Focus.
412
00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:38,277
-Well, it is.
-It isn't.
413
00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:41,013
-It is.
-No, it isn't.
414
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,083
Look, I'm not saying this
is perfect, cos it isn't.
415
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:47,319
There's a vertical choppiness
to the ride,
which is annoying.
416
00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:50,289
If you put your phone
in the phone holder
in front of the gear lever
417
00:24:50,356 --> 00:24:52,692
and then accelerate,
it shoots under the seat.
418
00:24:52,759 --> 00:24:53,893
You never see it again.
419
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,862
Petrol tank, way too small.
420
00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:59,566
-And the styling is a bit...
yobbish.
-A bit?!
421
00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,067
But, Hammond, look at this.
422
00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:05,938
Oh, yeah, you're right.
423
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:09,876
Half a century of Mustang
history, heritage and pride,
424
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:14,681
but it hasn't got a small
plastic strip on the door
in case you're a bit clumsy.
425
00:25:14,747 --> 00:25:18,317
No, it's brilliant, that.
And... this is faster.
426
00:25:18,384 --> 00:25:20,452
Well, no, it isn't.
427
00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:23,389
-It is.
-No, it isn't.
428
00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:25,925
-It is.
-It isn't.
429
00:25:25,992 --> 00:25:29,596
At this point,
I decided to abandon my tour
430
00:25:29,629 --> 00:25:32,599
and head for
the nearest airfield...
431
00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:34,667
...to teach Clarkson
a lesson.
432
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,642
Right,
I've got 410 horsepower -
433
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,310
that's 100 more than him.
434
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,779
But there's something else
on here that's missing
on his Focus,
435
00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:49,148
and it's this - "line lock".
436
00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:52,484
So, engage it.
Press OK to initialise.
437
00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,787
"Initialising.
Initialising complete.
438
00:25:54,854 --> 00:25:56,889
Firmly apply and hold brake
to engage.
439
00:25:56,956 --> 00:25:59,358
Engaged. Press OK to begin."
440
00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:05,197
What that's doing
is locking the front brakes,
441
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:08,034
so I can warm up my tyres.
442
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:13,305
Hm. That is an ideal feature
for people who wake up
in the morning and think,
443
00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:16,175
"Do you know, I've got
too much tread on my tyres."
444
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:25,184
Yeah!
I'm doing that automatically!
445
00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:34,961
What a moron.
446
00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:36,729
With my tyres warmed up,
447
00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:39,131
I took my place
on the start line.
448
00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:46,305
Right, race mode,
launch control,
449
00:26:46,372 --> 00:26:49,475
over-boost facility
on the turbocharger,
450
00:26:49,541 --> 00:26:54,546
four-wheel-drive,
and a man with lightning
reactions at the wheel.
451
00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:59,218
This car is going to
boing off the line
like a spring lamb.
452
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,556
Launch control, first gear,
and we're ready to go.
453
00:27:22,608 --> 00:27:25,311
Oh, he's away first.
454
00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:28,280
The most incredible
launch control in the world!
455
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,518
Come on!
456
00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:35,187
Come on, Jeremy.
Come on. You're winning.
457
00:27:36,723 --> 00:27:38,524
Oh, reeling him in!
458
00:27:46,198 --> 00:27:49,535
No, no, no!
That's simply impossible!
459
00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:51,738
Well, bless him for trying.
460
00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:59,345
Things I don't want to see
right now - number one, him.
461
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:01,213
So er... I won, then.
462
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:06,853
-Yes, but your car
doesn't have a drift button.
-A what?
463
00:28:06,919 --> 00:28:08,220
-A drift button.
-What does that do?
464
00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:09,889
Well, you push it,
and then,
465
00:28:09,956 --> 00:28:13,359
when you go round a corner,
the car drifts.
466
00:28:13,425 --> 00:28:14,626
-Does it?
-Yeah.
467
00:28:14,761 --> 00:28:16,628
You know, I'd love
to see that in action.
468
00:28:16,763 --> 00:28:18,430
-I'd love to see
you doing that.
-Yes.
469
00:28:18,497 --> 00:28:20,933
-I'll watch. Yeah, show me.
-You stay there.
470
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,870
You will not... Even
James May could drift this.
471
00:28:23,936 --> 00:28:25,938
-Here we go!
-I can't wait to watch.
472
00:28:34,981 --> 00:28:37,149
Check it out,
ladies and gentlemen!
473
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:38,785
Check it out!
474
00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:41,253
I'm drifting.
475
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,190
What do you think of
that, Hammond? Look at that!
476
00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:51,798
Hammond?
477
00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:55,802
Hammond?
478
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:58,504
Hammond!
479
00:29:06,045 --> 00:29:08,080
What?
You're not gonna blame me.
480
00:29:08,147 --> 00:29:11,984
-Where did you go?
-Well, I left you because
you were being moronic.
481
00:29:12,051 --> 00:29:13,652
-I wasn't!
-You were!
482
00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:14,987
Seriously,
who is going to buy
483
00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,823
a Ford Focus when,
for the same money,
484
00:29:16,856 --> 00:29:18,690
you could have
a V8-engine Mustang?
485
00:29:18,825 --> 00:29:20,159
-No-one.
-What?
486
00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:23,830
Nobody would. Mustang's
got so much more character.
487
00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:25,297
Hang on.
So, you agree with me?
488
00:29:25,364 --> 00:29:26,732
Oh, God, yes!
If I had the choice
of those two cars,
489
00:29:26,833 --> 00:29:29,468
I'd have the Mustang
every day of the week.
490
00:29:31,070 --> 00:29:33,840
So you ruined my day out
for no reason at all?
491
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:38,177
I ruined your day out
because it was fun...
to ruin your day out.
492
00:29:38,244 --> 00:29:40,512
-Good work.
-It was good work.
Sorry about that.
493
00:29:40,579 --> 00:29:44,917
But anyway, we must now
find out how fast those Fords
go round our track,
494
00:29:44,984 --> 00:29:50,156
and that, of course, means
handing them over to our
other resident American -
495
00:29:50,222 --> 00:29:54,861
a man who thinks that shower
gel is basically communist.
496
00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:55,928
It's the American.
497
00:29:57,363 --> 00:29:59,598
There he is,
looking bewildered.
498
00:29:59,665 --> 00:30:01,400
And he's away!
499
00:30:03,169 --> 00:30:06,305
It sounds like a bunch
of goddamn mice in there.
500
00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:12,244
Why the hell don't they just
start with eight cylinders?
501
00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:17,449
Strangest mice I ever heard,
as he powers down the Isn't.
502
00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:19,351
That is a good noise.
503
00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:22,554
Arms working the wheel
like he's wrestling
a drifter,
504
00:30:22,621 --> 00:30:24,056
which, of course, he is.
505
00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:26,225
And already he's at
Your Name Here.
506
00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:29,028
Tyres squealing,
but it's clinging on well,
507
00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:31,230
and now the climb
back onto the Isn't.
508
00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:33,099
It ain't got no room in it.
509
00:30:34,233 --> 00:30:36,535
No place to put your beer.
510
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:40,739
I think he and I
look for slightly different
things in a car.
511
00:30:40,806 --> 00:30:43,009
Anyway,
now hard on the brakes
512
00:30:43,075 --> 00:30:46,645
as he turns into
Old Lady's House.
513
00:30:46,712 --> 00:30:49,481
Yeah, he is dispatching that
with no dramas,
514
00:30:49,548 --> 00:30:51,550
and now he can get
the hammer down
515
00:30:51,617 --> 00:30:53,886
for the bumpy sprint
to Substation.
516
00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:55,421
Looking good.
517
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:57,523
Four-wheel-drive cars can,
of course, understeer,
518
00:30:57,589 --> 00:31:00,859
but... nope,
not a whiff of it here.
519
00:31:00,927 --> 00:31:04,830
And Field Of Sheep,
tidy through there as well,
520
00:31:04,931 --> 00:31:06,398
and across the line.
521
00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:11,037
Now, I think
he might enjoy this one.
522
00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:13,605
And he is
wheel-spinning away!
523
00:31:14,941 --> 00:31:17,243
All right!
American muscle, baby!
524
00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:21,247
5.0 Mustang -
this thing is badass.
525
00:31:24,650 --> 00:31:27,386
It's got a trunk,
a place for my golf clubs.
526
00:31:27,453 --> 00:31:31,023
Pack up the old lady,
go for the weekend
somewhere in this thing,
527
00:31:31,090 --> 00:31:33,425
and you can haul ass
while you're goin'.
528
00:31:33,492 --> 00:31:37,163
Something there about an old
lady and hauling a bottom.
529
00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:38,430
Anyway, he's on the Isn't,
530
00:31:38,497 --> 00:31:41,033
and he's flying into
Your Name Here.
531
00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:44,370
The mighty Mustang has filled
the American with vigour,
532
00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:46,372
and he's being
surprisingly tidy.
533
00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:53,445
That's what us Americans
want, we want to
smoke the tyres.
534
00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:57,083
We want this thing
to just get shit and get.
535
00:31:57,149 --> 00:32:00,752
Literally no idea what he's
on about. It's just a noise.
536
00:32:00,819 --> 00:32:03,990
When this thing stops, man,
it stops on a dime.
537
00:32:03,990 --> 00:32:07,759
"It'll stop on a dime
and give you nine cents
change" is what we say.
538
00:32:07,826 --> 00:32:09,996
You really can't shut him up
about this one.
539
00:32:09,996 --> 00:32:13,665
Anyway, he is keeping it neat
round Old Lady's House,
540
00:32:13,732 --> 00:32:17,136
and then unleashing
that V8 fury
541
00:32:17,203 --> 00:32:19,671
over the rough stuff
to Substation.
542
00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:23,275
Hard on the brakes,
ready for the 90 left.
543
00:32:23,342 --> 00:32:25,444
Blip it up to Field Of Sheep.
544
00:32:25,511 --> 00:32:26,845
Here we go.
545
00:32:26,912 --> 00:32:31,017
Flurry of exuberance,
and across the line.
546
00:32:31,017 --> 00:32:32,684
There we are.
547
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,523
OK, here's the Lap Board.
548
00:32:37,589 --> 00:32:41,827
Let's have a look, first of
all, where the Focus went.
549
00:32:41,893 --> 00:32:43,595
So...
550
00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:45,064
Oh, there it is.
551
00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,533
Faster than an ST200 -
perhaps not surprising.
552
00:32:47,599 --> 00:32:48,500
Just as well.
553
00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:51,870
Now let's bring up
the Mustang.
554
00:32:51,937 --> 00:32:53,339
Oh!
555
00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:58,444
- That's not embarrassing,
is it?
556
00:32:58,510 --> 00:33:02,514
The car that you, me,
and the American all prefer
557
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:05,817
is quite a lot slower
than the European Focus.
558
00:33:05,884 --> 00:33:07,119
Yes.
559
00:33:07,186 --> 00:33:08,954
Anyway, listen,
let's move on, shall we,
560
00:33:09,055 --> 00:33:11,490
to Celebrity Brain Crash.
561
00:33:19,098 --> 00:33:20,866
Now...
562
00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:25,171
our guest this week
isn't just my favourite
Formula One driver,
563
00:33:25,237 --> 00:33:27,439
he's also a local boy.
564
00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:31,577
Oh, yeah, this is
the chatty man of motorsport,
565
00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:32,811
Mr Effervescent,
566
00:33:32,878 --> 00:33:35,547
ladies and gentlemen,
Kimi Räikkönen!
567
00:33:37,083 --> 00:33:38,484
Here he comes.
568
00:33:41,220 --> 00:33:42,954
What are we gonna ask him?
569
00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:44,690
It doesn't matter
what you ask him.
570
00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:48,494
It doesn't, because you won't
get a coherent answer.
571
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,429
Is he all right?
572
00:33:52,098 --> 00:33:53,365
No, hang on. Whoa!
573
00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,402
- Oh, no.
- Not again.
574
00:33:58,170 --> 00:34:00,506
No, he has, I'm afraid,
ladies and gentlemen,
575
00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:02,908
literally drunk himself
to death.
576
00:34:03,975 --> 00:34:05,411
Damn.
577
00:34:05,477 --> 00:34:08,114
- Does that mean
he's not coming on, then?
578
00:34:08,114 --> 00:34:09,315
Well, his liver has failed
579
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,816
and he's now
slowly solidifying
580
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:14,820
in the freezing dusk of an
Arctic night, so that's a no.
581
00:34:15,987 --> 00:34:17,256
Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
582
00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:19,258
Well, it does, cos I actually
rather liked Kimi.
583
00:34:19,325 --> 00:34:22,561
But I can think of something
else we can do to fill the time.
584
00:34:22,628 --> 00:34:25,131
Here's the thing.
Er... If you're watching this
585
00:34:25,197 --> 00:34:27,766
on the day the programme
is actually released,
586
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,402
it is December 23rd.
587
00:34:30,469 --> 00:34:32,671
There are two days to go
until Christmas,
588
00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:37,176
and if you're a man,
you won't have done
any shopping yet.
589
00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:40,812
-But don't worry,
cos we've got your back.
-Oh, yeah.
590
00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:43,215
We have trawled the Internet
and the shops
591
00:34:43,282 --> 00:34:45,917
to find the best gift ideas.
592
00:34:45,984 --> 00:34:51,423
Yes, and here, in our special
Grand Tour Santa Land Grotto.
593
00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:53,492
Yeah.
594
00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:55,894
Nice view. Nice everything.
595
00:34:55,961 --> 00:34:57,163
Yeah. Er...
596
00:34:57,229 --> 00:35:00,166
We begin with this
rather brilliant tray,
597
00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:04,203
which, apparently, is
the ideal place to put your
laptop or your breakfast.
598
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:06,238
We have a picture of it
in action here.
599
00:35:08,474 --> 00:35:11,577
Hang on a minute!
- I see a couple of problems
with that.
600
00:35:11,643 --> 00:35:13,512
- I can too.
- What else have we got?
601
00:35:13,579 --> 00:35:16,315
Well, now, the reason
I don't play chess any more
602
00:35:16,382 --> 00:35:19,050
is it's just so exhausting
to move the pieces around.
603
00:35:19,185 --> 00:35:22,421
-I know what you mean.
-Far too heavy, picking the
Queen up and moving her.
604
00:35:22,488 --> 00:35:26,658
But it's OK, because Ferrari
has answered that problem
with this.
605
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:30,362
- It's a lightweight,
carbon-fibre chess set...
606
00:35:30,429 --> 00:35:33,365
...and it's yours for £1,400.
607
00:35:33,432 --> 00:35:37,068
-How much?!
-£1,400.
608
00:35:37,203 --> 00:35:39,771
And that is the funny thing -
you take something ordinary,
609
00:35:39,838 --> 00:35:43,209
write a car name on it,
and suddenly
it becomes expensive.
610
00:35:43,209 --> 00:35:45,811
This bear, for example.
I know about bears.
611
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,614
It's an acrylic fibre,
612
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,649
stuffed with
industrial waste.
613
00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:51,817
£2.75.
614
00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:55,954
But, because it's got
a Honda T-shirt on, £10.
615
00:35:56,021 --> 00:35:57,088
£10.
616
00:35:57,223 --> 00:35:59,024
Yes, but it's Honda Bear!
617
00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:00,326
Or...
618
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:02,361
I love that! On Christmas
morning, Honda Bear!
619
00:36:02,428 --> 00:36:04,530
I love following
his adventures!
620
00:36:04,596 --> 00:36:06,732
How about this
lovingly crafted
621
00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:10,001
"I love my Hyundai"
pillowcase?
622
00:36:11,303 --> 00:36:13,505
What woman is ever
going to leap into bed
623
00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:15,741
with a man whose pillows
bear that legend?
624
00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:18,477
OK, Hammond, I'll tell you
exactly what woman.
625
00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:21,413
The woman who would wear
this thong,
626
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,149
which has written
lovingly on the front,
627
00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:26,017
the legend Elantra.
628
00:36:27,353 --> 00:36:29,355
Erotic! Erotic!
629
00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:35,561
Can I just say, the perfect
Christmas gift for the
Hyundai owner is a BMW.
630
00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:37,696
Well, yes, look, we realised
that branding stuff,
631
00:36:37,763 --> 00:36:42,268
obviously there's some money
in it, so we thought,
since we're in Scandinavia,
632
00:36:42,301 --> 00:36:47,072
we would launch our
own range of car-branded
Christmas jumpers.
633
00:36:47,138 --> 00:36:49,107
Mm-hm.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
634
00:36:49,174 --> 00:36:51,977
- Talk among yourselves,
everybody.
Hold on a moment.
635
00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,580
This is modelling time.
636
00:36:54,646 --> 00:36:57,916
Mine is a simple turtleneck.
637
00:36:57,983 --> 00:37:01,653
Very, very warm,
bearing the name of a legend
on the front.
638
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:04,723
I know, it's very special.
Very Christmassy, yeah?
639
00:37:04,790 --> 00:37:08,360
- I have gone for
a very cuddly...
640
00:37:08,427 --> 00:37:10,662
...and Christmassy cardigan
bearing the name,
641
00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:13,665
as you can see,
of a car I absolutely adore.
642
00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,967
Yeah, and here's the thing,
OK.
643
00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:17,336
Mine is a crewneck, actually.
644
00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:23,675
Why is everybody...?
645
00:37:25,877 --> 00:37:28,914
- Why are you applauding?
- I don't know.
646
00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:31,317
I think...
647
00:37:31,317 --> 00:37:32,918
-Why are you...?
-Is it...?
648
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:34,986
Is it because they haven't
seen us in knitwear before?
649
00:37:36,722 --> 00:37:39,491
Anyway, we've had a go
at making some
Grand Tour-branded stuff.
650
00:37:39,558 --> 00:37:40,826
-Oh, yeah.
-But here's the thing.
651
00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:42,160
We haven't gone for
the obvious stuff,
652
00:37:42,227 --> 00:37:44,195
like jumpers
and mugs and umbrellas.
653
00:37:44,330 --> 00:37:47,766
We've gone for things
that other people
haven't thought of.
654
00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:49,134
Things like this -
655
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:50,369
haemorrhoid cream.
656
00:37:51,703 --> 00:37:53,572
-We all need it.
-I don't.
657
00:37:53,639 --> 00:37:55,140
No, I don't, either.
658
00:37:55,206 --> 00:37:57,643
Well, this is mine.
659
00:37:57,709 --> 00:38:01,012
Bought it for £2.75, but now
it's got Grand Tour on it,
660
00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:03,915
we could sell that for £20.
661
00:38:03,982 --> 00:38:06,918
I tell you what really good
idea we've had erm...
662
00:38:06,985 --> 00:38:09,821
is condoms, OK,
which have been...
663
00:38:09,888 --> 00:38:12,491
well, they've been branded
with well-known expressions
664
00:38:12,558 --> 00:38:14,460
and phrases
that we often say.
665
00:38:14,526 --> 00:38:16,895
-I'm gonna demonstrate
using this--
-Whoa!
666
00:38:18,063 --> 00:38:19,498
You flatter yourself, sir!
667
00:38:19,565 --> 00:38:21,900
- Au contraire.
- Oh, really?
668
00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:27,005
So we simply roll the condom
over the rolling pin.
669
00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:30,409
Here it is. There's
the GT logo coming up.
670
00:38:30,476 --> 00:38:32,778
And on the other side,
"How hard can it be?"
671
00:38:32,844 --> 00:38:35,381
We're very pleased.
672
00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:40,819
Pretty damn hard,
for a man of my age.
673
00:38:40,886 --> 00:38:43,221
We're... We're very pleased
with these.
674
00:38:43,288 --> 00:38:46,758
Various of our slogans
have been used. I'm going
to put mine on this er...
675
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:48,760
disappointingly small carrot.
676
00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:52,464
Erm... And it bears
one of my expressions.
677
00:38:52,531 --> 00:38:54,400
-See, I can't--
-Don't bite it!
678
00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:56,435
Well, I can't open the thing,
can I?
679
00:38:56,502 --> 00:38:58,269
No, there's one of those
little tear things.
680
00:38:58,404 --> 00:39:01,172
- Hold on, love.
- I'll be with you in a minute.
681
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,776
-No, it's--
-You're not gonna be here
to help me when I'm using it!
682
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,412
-You don't know!
-I bloody do!
683
00:39:06,478 --> 00:39:08,547
-I might be.
-I'm pretty sure
you won't be.
684
00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:10,716
That's quite the wrong thing
to... Are you in?
685
00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:13,585
-Yeah, I'm... What?!
-Can I have my glasses back?
686
00:39:13,652 --> 00:39:15,120
-No.
-No, I want my glasses back
687
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,723
before you start messing
around with sex things.
688
00:39:17,789 --> 00:39:20,025
Oh, right, let me...
Oh, dear. It's a bit baggy.
689
00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:22,260
I've actually torn it
with my teeth,
690
00:39:22,327 --> 00:39:25,330
which makes the slogan on it
quite appropriate, really -
691
00:39:25,431 --> 00:39:26,965
"That's not gone well."
692
00:39:28,634 --> 00:39:31,202
Can I just say, that is
by far and away
693
00:39:31,269 --> 00:39:33,939
the least
erotic thing I have ever...
694
00:39:34,005 --> 00:39:36,508
Don't tell me that's not
an unfamiliar sight.
695
00:39:45,283 --> 00:39:46,785
Oh,
have you done one as well?
696
00:39:46,852 --> 00:39:49,455
Of course I have.
Very sensibly,
I put mine on earlier.
697
00:39:49,488 --> 00:39:51,322
Whoa!
698
00:39:51,457 --> 00:39:55,093
Branded with the GT logo and
my own personal catchphrase,
699
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:56,662
"I was the first to arrive."
700
00:40:00,932 --> 00:40:05,804
Now, are you bored
with having two
fully functioning ankles?
701
00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:07,639
Yes?
Well, don't worry if you are,
702
00:40:07,706 --> 00:40:10,542
because this Christmas,
the market is awash
with products
703
00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,678
designed specifically
to break them.
704
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:15,447
such as this iBot-9.
705
00:40:15,514 --> 00:40:17,048
I thought
that was a vacuum cleaner.
706
00:40:17,115 --> 00:40:18,149
No, it's incredibly heavy
707
00:40:18,216 --> 00:40:20,185
because it's
packed full of pain.
708
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:23,388
Basically, you put these
things out on the side,
you stand and whizz about.
709
00:40:23,455 --> 00:40:26,558
But within seconds of getting
on, you will be falling over
and breaking your ankles.
710
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:27,926
Probably so.
711
00:40:27,993 --> 00:40:30,696
Yes, and on the other hand,
there are also these.
712
00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:33,198
These are called
the Rocket Skates.
713
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,734
They will cost you just £900,
714
00:40:35,801 --> 00:40:39,304
and they are guaranteed
to power you
straight to casualty.
715
00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:40,706
Yeah.
716
00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:42,708
- No, they're fine.
No,
they're really not.
717
00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:46,545
-I'll be all right.
I could have a go on those.
-Who'd like to see that?
718
00:40:46,612 --> 00:40:48,914
You said it.
719
00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:50,916
Seriously.
I mean, honestly...
720
00:40:53,685 --> 00:40:55,386
"How hard can it be?"
721
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:57,889
See, I knew it would
come in handy.
I can bludgeon...
722
00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,991
-Seriously, I'll have a go.
-Off you go, mate.
723
00:41:00,058 --> 00:41:02,661
- Yeah.
- Can I wear my shoes in them?
724
00:41:02,728 --> 00:41:04,863
Are they like ski boots?
725
00:41:04,930 --> 00:41:08,199
Yes, Jeremy,
apart from they've got wheels
and you're indoors.
726
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:11,537
-I am not going near them.
-Just put my foot in them.
727
00:41:11,570 --> 00:41:13,705
I don't want to!
728
00:41:13,772 --> 00:41:16,742
-I can't see what I'm...
-It's degrading
and unpleasant.
729
00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:21,613
-Do I take my shoes off?
-Put your great cloven hoof
in there.
730
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,082
It fits!
You can go to the ball.
731
00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:25,851
There, you're in.
732
00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,019
-Thank you.
-Now what are you gonna do?
733
00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:29,420
You're not gonna do it!
734
00:41:33,091 --> 00:41:35,961
-Is that it?
Have you started?
-Not yet.
735
00:41:36,027 --> 00:41:38,029
I better face the other way,
hadn't I?
736
00:41:39,631 --> 00:41:41,166
Looking good.
737
00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:42,467
These are worth every...
738
00:41:42,568 --> 00:41:44,636
What will they cost,
900 quid?
739
00:41:44,703 --> 00:41:46,572
-Nine hundred quid.
-Literally every penny.
740
00:41:46,572 --> 00:41:49,474
Wait, hold it there.
Hold it there.
741
00:41:49,575 --> 00:41:52,077
Look out, girls,
Mr Darcy's arrived.
742
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:54,746
Looking good.
743
00:41:59,785 --> 00:42:02,120
- Oh, this is brilliant.
- Wow!
744
00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:06,124
I can see why they're called
Rocket Skates.
745
00:42:06,191 --> 00:42:09,027
- Come on, man.
- Oh, God!
I'm trying to move!
746
00:42:09,094 --> 00:42:11,797
Lean back!
- What do you mean,
"Lean back"?
747
00:42:16,434 --> 00:42:17,836
Like that?
748
00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:21,206
-Jeremy?
-What?
749
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:23,308
Stephen Hawking would make
a better job of these
750
00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:24,810
Rocket Skates than you have.
751
00:42:26,812 --> 00:42:28,213
-Right...
-Where are you going?!
752
00:42:28,279 --> 00:42:31,049
- You've got to get one...
- Do you remember...
753
00:42:31,116 --> 00:42:34,252
Whoa!
It's a disaster!
754
00:42:36,622 --> 00:42:38,924
Shit. Sorry.
755
00:42:38,990 --> 00:42:41,492
Don't worry, Jeremy. I will
come and rescue on my...
756
00:42:41,627 --> 00:42:42,694
Bloody hell!
757
00:42:42,761 --> 00:42:44,630
Oh, my God. It's going mad.
758
00:42:44,696 --> 00:42:46,297
Erm... Right. Right.
759
00:42:46,364 --> 00:42:49,635
-I put my foot on there.
-This is a really good
ambulance service.
760
00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:55,741
Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry,
I'll be there in a minute.
761
00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:58,109
I don't know that this works.
762
00:42:58,176 --> 00:42:59,678
I've gone again!
763
00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:03,148
Shit! Now I've got cramp!
764
00:43:05,183 --> 00:43:08,086
That was...
That was a brilliant idea,
but never mind,
765
00:43:08,153 --> 00:43:10,722
because erm...
I have a perfect
Christmas present here.
766
00:43:10,789 --> 00:43:14,225
You control this
with your mobile phone
and your face comes on it.
767
00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:16,527
And the brilliant thing
about it is that it means
768
00:43:16,662 --> 00:43:21,667
you can have your favourite
celebrity round to your house
for Christmas lunch.
769
00:43:21,733 --> 00:43:25,570
With that in mind, ladies and
gentlemen, would you please
welcome into the studio -
770
00:43:25,671 --> 00:43:31,142
he's actually in his office
in London, and yet he's also
here on top of a stick -
771
00:43:31,209 --> 00:43:32,678
it's Bob Geldof!
772
00:43:36,047 --> 00:43:37,515
We're gonna say hello to Bob.
773
00:43:37,582 --> 00:43:40,051
- I can't say hello to Bob!
- He's coming, Hammond.
774
00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:41,953
-I just go in circles!
-It is!
775
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:44,055
It's Bob Geldof, everybody!
776
00:43:45,323 --> 00:43:47,358
Hello, Bob.
Where have you gone?
777
00:43:47,425 --> 00:43:49,027
Bob! We're over here, Bob!
778
00:43:49,094 --> 00:43:50,762
-Bob!
-Bob, we're over here!
779
00:43:50,829 --> 00:43:52,597
-Where are you?
-He's there!
780
00:43:52,698 --> 00:43:54,866
Bob Geldof, how are you?
781
00:43:54,933 --> 00:43:56,902
Yes, happy Christmas!
782
00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:59,470
Oh, ! Sorry!
783
00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:02,140
-Are you having
a good Christmas, Bob?
-Oh, no! Bob's...
784
00:44:02,207 --> 00:44:05,576
Ladies and gentlemen,
Bob Geldof is lost!
785
00:44:05,711 --> 00:44:07,946
He's gone in the wrong...
786
00:44:08,013 --> 00:44:09,981
Oh, James May's
coming to join in.
787
00:44:10,048 --> 00:44:13,318
I'm coming
to talk to Bob Geldof.
788
00:44:13,384 --> 00:44:16,321
Whoa!
May has kissed
Bob Geldof!
789
00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:18,890
-Hello, Bob. How are you?
-Get out of the way!
790
00:44:18,957 --> 00:44:20,992
-I'm travelling!
-No, straight ahead, Bob.
791
00:44:21,059 --> 00:44:24,329
Bob, no. Left-hand down, Bob.
No, Bob. Bob, you...
792
00:44:24,395 --> 00:44:27,032
Have I just attacked
somebody's knob?
793
00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:29,000
Bob,
stop attacking the crowd!
794
00:44:29,968 --> 00:44:31,202
Now where's he going?!
795
00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:34,305
Bob!
796
00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:36,607
Right,
I'll rescue Bob. Hold on.
797
00:44:36,742 --> 00:44:38,276
Straight ahead, Bob.
That's perfect.
798
00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:41,279
- Straight ahead. Straight.
- A bit of right-hand down.
799
00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:45,316
No, don't drive into it!
Stop head-butting the tree!
800
00:44:45,383 --> 00:44:46,952
This is ridiculous!
801
00:44:47,018 --> 00:44:49,587
Where's the reindeers
and Santa Claus at?
802
00:44:49,654 --> 00:44:53,358
Oh, no!
Hang on a minute!
803
00:44:53,424 --> 00:44:54,760
He's ruined Christmas!
804
00:44:54,826 --> 00:44:56,895
Does he know
it's Christmas time at all?
805
00:44:56,962 --> 00:44:59,164
Well, tonight, thank God
it's him instead of us
806
00:44:59,230 --> 00:45:00,766
knocking the Christmas
tree over.
807
00:45:00,832 --> 00:45:03,268
Absolutely right.
He's ruined it!
808
00:45:03,334 --> 00:45:04,469
Anyway, erm...
809
00:45:05,871 --> 00:45:08,373
This year marks
the 50th anniversary
810
00:45:08,439 --> 00:45:11,076
of the greatest
battle in motorsport history.
811
00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:13,244
The story begins
in the 1960s,
812
00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:17,115
when Ford realised that they
could sell a lot more cars
813
00:45:17,182 --> 00:45:20,218
if they were a lot more
successful on the racetrack.
814
00:45:20,285 --> 00:45:25,423
So they formulated
a brilliant plan,
but unfortunately...
815
00:45:28,459 --> 00:45:30,996
...it went disastrously
wrong, didn't it, Bob?
816
00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:39,370
Ford knew that if you wanted
to rule in motorsport,
817
00:45:39,437 --> 00:45:42,140
there was only one race
that mattered.
818
00:45:42,207 --> 00:45:45,110
The toughest and most
dangerous of them all -
819
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:47,378
the 24 Hours of Le Mans.
820
00:45:47,445 --> 00:45:50,515
Levegh's Mercedes
collides and blows up.
821
00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:52,583
The problem was,
for all its might,
822
00:45:52,650 --> 00:45:56,254
Ford didn't have a clue
how to win at Le Mans.
823
00:45:56,321 --> 00:45:59,958
However, over in Italy,
someone did.
824
00:46:08,133 --> 00:46:09,434
In the early 1960s,
825
00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:13,338
Enzo Ferrari's cars
ruled sports-car racing,
826
00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:14,940
Le Mans especially.
827
00:46:15,006 --> 00:46:16,307
At the start of the decade,
828
00:46:16,374 --> 00:46:18,977
he had won the famous
and gruelling 24-hour race
829
00:46:19,044 --> 00:46:21,412
three times on the trot.
830
00:46:21,479 --> 00:46:25,583
However, the company was in
deep financial difficulty,
831
00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:28,854
so when Ford offered to buy
the entire business,
832
00:46:28,854 --> 00:46:30,889
Enzo agreed.
833
00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:35,726
At first, all went well.
834
00:46:35,861 --> 00:46:40,265
Enzo Ferrari and the head
of Ford, Henry Ford II,
835
00:46:40,331 --> 00:46:44,569
quickly settled
on a price of $16 million.
836
00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:47,705
And on May 21st 1963,
837
00:46:47,772 --> 00:46:52,777
Ford executives arrived in
Maranello to sign the deal.
838
00:46:52,878 --> 00:46:55,246
Ford turned up
with an army of suits.
839
00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:57,182
Enzo Ferrari
sat opposite them
840
00:46:57,248 --> 00:46:59,550
with just
the local town lawyer.
841
00:46:59,617 --> 00:47:01,519
They read the contract
and all seemed well,
842
00:47:01,586 --> 00:47:03,654
but then, suddenly,
Ferrari stopped
843
00:47:03,721 --> 00:47:06,691
and he took out
his famous fountain pen
full of purple ink,
844
00:47:06,757 --> 00:47:09,928
and as you can see from this
accurate copy I have here,
845
00:47:09,995 --> 00:47:12,530
he drew a big exclamation
mark and he wrote,
846
00:47:12,597 --> 00:47:14,933
"No, that's no good!"
847
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,003
Now, what had angered him?
Well, it was this clause
here.
848
00:47:18,069 --> 00:47:20,906
You see, Enzo Ferrari
wanted to retain control
849
00:47:20,972 --> 00:47:23,108
of the motorsport side
of his business,
850
00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:27,913
but this bit effectively
handed control to Ford.
851
00:47:27,979 --> 00:47:31,316
There followed
a tirade of abuse in Italian,
852
00:47:31,382 --> 00:47:34,119
after which,
Enzo said to his lawyer,
"Let's go and eat."
853
00:47:34,185 --> 00:47:38,723
Then they got up and they
simply walked out on the
stunned Ford executives.
854
00:47:38,789 --> 00:47:39,925
That was that.
855
00:47:39,991 --> 00:47:42,327
All of this for nothing.
856
00:47:43,628 --> 00:47:46,597
Back in Detroit,
Henry Ford II,
857
00:47:46,664 --> 00:47:48,399
apoplectic with rage,
858
00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:51,336
gathered his lieutenants
and issued the order:
859
00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:55,440
"Build me a car that will
crush Ferrari at Le Mans."
860
00:47:58,609 --> 00:48:00,845
To beat Ferrari
on European soil,
861
00:48:00,946 --> 00:48:03,248
Ford needed
European expertise,
862
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:05,650
so he hired a small
British motorsport company
863
00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:09,187
that set up shop here,
in this very building,
864
00:48:09,254 --> 00:48:13,224
on an industrial estate in
Slough, just outside London.
865
00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:16,861
And the challenges
they faced were enormous.
866
00:48:16,962 --> 00:48:21,099
They had to build a car that
would race at over 200mph,
867
00:48:21,166 --> 00:48:22,968
which was something that had
never been done before,
868
00:48:22,968 --> 00:48:27,338
and it had to be reliable
for the 24 hours
of the Le Mans race -
869
00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:30,841
a race in which you
changed gear 9,000 times
870
00:48:30,976 --> 00:48:34,579
and drove flat out
for 3,000 miles.
871
00:48:34,645 --> 00:48:39,117
And, as if that wasn't
bad enough, they only had
ten months to do it.
872
00:48:43,688 --> 00:48:47,525
Out of that insane timetable
emerged this.
873
00:48:49,194 --> 00:48:51,096
The Ford GT.
874
00:48:51,162 --> 00:48:55,533
Thanks to its sleek shape
and the body that stood
just 40-inches tall,
875
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:59,470
it promised to cut through
the air like a missile.
876
00:48:59,537 --> 00:49:01,606
Add a 4.2L V8,
877
00:49:01,672 --> 00:49:06,844
and the magic target
of 200mph seemed in the bag.
878
00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:11,716
The trouble is, a racing car
is just a collection
of hopes and dreams
879
00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:14,452
until it gets on the track.
880
00:49:14,519 --> 00:49:17,288
And that's something
that Ford learned
in a very brutal way
881
00:49:17,355 --> 00:49:22,060
when they took the GT40
to test at Le Mans
for the first time.
882
00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:26,631
And so to the first
Le Mans practice session.
883
00:49:26,697 --> 00:49:31,269
On its first outing,
the renamed GT40 was fast,
884
00:49:31,336 --> 00:49:34,072
but it was also
terrifyingly unstable,
885
00:49:34,139 --> 00:49:37,142
spinning its wheels
on the straights.
886
00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:39,210
I'm not talking about
when you set off,
887
00:49:39,277 --> 00:49:42,647
I mean it was happening
at 170mph!
888
00:49:45,450 --> 00:49:48,753
Now, the problem was either
aerodynamics or suspension,
889
00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:50,155
but they never found out,
890
00:49:50,221 --> 00:49:55,560
because, later that day,
the car crashed at 160mph.
891
00:49:55,626 --> 00:49:58,396
Well, that was OK. They had
a spare one, of course.
892
00:49:58,463 --> 00:50:00,965
The next day,
that crashed as well.
893
00:50:01,066 --> 00:50:03,734
Le Mans
was just two months away.
894
00:50:06,671 --> 00:50:13,511
Against all odds,
Ford got their act together
in time for the 1964 race.
895
00:50:13,578 --> 00:50:15,646
The Le Mans
24 Hour Race at last,
896
00:50:15,713 --> 00:50:19,317
and three gleaming Ford GTs
are present.
897
00:50:19,384 --> 00:50:21,419
But during the race itself,
898
00:50:21,486 --> 00:50:24,955
all the cars broke down
or caught fire,
899
00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:27,024
leaving bitter rivals Ferrari
900
00:50:27,092 --> 00:50:31,062
to take another
one-two-three victory.
901
00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:38,069
In Detroit, Henry Ford
decreed that they would be
back next year
902
00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:40,271
to take on Ferrari again.
903
00:50:40,338 --> 00:50:42,173
And to head up the campaign,
904
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:45,576
he turned to
an American motorsport hero.
905
00:50:45,643 --> 00:50:48,879
My name's Carroll Shelby and
performance is my business.
906
00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:52,049
Shelby was a former
chicken farmer from Texas
907
00:50:52,117 --> 00:50:55,553
who took nitroglycerin pills
to keep his heart going.
908
00:50:55,620 --> 00:50:57,988
But he'd also racked up
countless victories
909
00:50:58,055 --> 00:51:00,525
as a driver and team owner.
910
00:51:00,591 --> 00:51:03,494
Given the task of turning
the GT40 into a winner,
911
00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:05,863
he put his top man
on the job.
912
00:51:05,930 --> 00:51:07,432
Coming up is Ken Miles,
913
00:51:07,498 --> 00:51:11,136
one of the best
sport-car drivers in America.
914
00:51:11,136 --> 00:51:15,606
Miles was a former
Second World War tank
commander from Birmingham -
915
00:51:15,673 --> 00:51:18,509
the one in England,
not Alabama.
916
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:20,478
He was renowned
for speaking his mind
917
00:51:20,545 --> 00:51:23,648
and developing racing cars.
918
00:51:23,714 --> 00:51:25,416
Miles took the car
for a shakedown.
919
00:51:25,483 --> 00:51:28,719
Then he got out
and he told Shelby
and the Ford executives,
920
00:51:28,786 --> 00:51:30,388
"It's bloody awful!"
921
00:51:30,455 --> 00:51:32,157
Then he got to work,
922
00:51:32,190 --> 00:51:34,659
improving the brakes,
the engine,
923
00:51:34,725 --> 00:51:36,694
the aerodynamics,
the handling,
924
00:51:36,761 --> 00:51:41,766
and taming
the car's terrifying
high-speed instability.
925
00:51:41,832 --> 00:51:44,869
However, and even though he
and his team took amphetamine
926
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:46,737
so that they could
stay awake all night,
927
00:51:46,804 --> 00:51:51,776
there simply wasn't time
to develop the car properly
for Le Mans.
928
00:51:51,842 --> 00:51:54,179
The GT40
may have been faster,
929
00:51:54,245 --> 00:51:56,314
but it was still fragile.
930
00:51:56,381 --> 00:51:58,183
At the 1965 race,
931
00:51:58,249 --> 00:52:00,751
six cars started,
none finished,
932
00:52:00,818 --> 00:52:04,722
and the Italians
humiliated Ford once again.
933
00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:09,727
So, untold millions
of dollars had been spent
934
00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:13,331
since the first GT40 emerged
from this building here,
935
00:52:13,398 --> 00:52:17,502
and yet not one car
had even finished the race.
936
00:52:17,568 --> 00:52:19,270
So Ford now faced
a difficult choice -
937
00:52:19,337 --> 00:52:23,374
he could throw in the towel
against Ferrari,
or he could fight on.
938
00:52:23,441 --> 00:52:26,611
What he actually did was
he had some business cards
printed,
939
00:52:26,677 --> 00:52:29,214
and he distributed them
to his Le Mans team.
940
00:52:29,247 --> 00:52:32,350
And on the cards it said,
"You'd better win."
941
00:52:32,417 --> 00:52:33,984
And so, a year later,
942
00:52:34,051 --> 00:52:36,687
the American giant
returned to Le Mans
943
00:52:36,754 --> 00:52:40,791
with its hopes
resting on this.
944
00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:49,800
OK, viewers,
945
00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:54,872
this is historic-race-car
bucket-list moment
number two,
946
00:52:54,939 --> 00:52:57,675
because this is
an actual GT40
947
00:52:57,742 --> 00:53:01,479
that competed at Le Mans
in 1966.
948
00:53:03,881 --> 00:53:07,252
All right, don't go mad, May,
it's worth 15-million quid.
949
00:53:08,653 --> 00:53:11,256
Sod it!
Let's make some noise!
950
00:53:17,728 --> 00:53:18,663
Oh, yes!
951
00:53:21,366 --> 00:53:22,967
In this new GT40,
952
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:26,937
Ken Miles had racked up
thousands of test hours.
953
00:53:27,004 --> 00:53:30,475
Now the car was no longer
horribly unstable,
954
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:34,879
but would sit rocksteady
at 210mph.
955
00:53:34,945 --> 00:53:39,884
And the Brummie tank
commander had the backing of
Ford's huge R&D department,
956
00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:42,653
who tackled the car's
appalling reliability.
957
00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:47,558
The brakes no longer went
into thermal shock
958
00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:49,960
at the end of
the long straight.
959
00:53:50,027 --> 00:53:53,898
The engine and transmission
were run on
a computerised test rig
960
00:53:53,964 --> 00:53:58,035
that simulated the whole of
the 24-Hour Le Mans race.
961
00:53:58,102 --> 00:54:00,671
Now, that's standard practice
in Formula One today,
962
00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:04,409
but in 1966
that was witchcraft.
963
00:54:06,411 --> 00:54:09,347
They weren't mucking about,
these blokes.
964
00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:12,049
But neither were
the opposition.
965
00:54:12,116 --> 00:54:15,320
Over in Italy, in response
to the new threat,
966
00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:17,755
Ferrari produced this.
967
00:54:24,228 --> 00:54:28,899
Called the P3,
it looked as sleek as a GT40.
968
00:54:28,966 --> 00:54:33,771
And at just 37.4 inches tall,
it was even lower.
969
00:54:38,443 --> 00:54:40,378
Avanti!
970
00:54:43,348 --> 00:54:45,650
Whoo! Holy mother!
971
00:54:45,716 --> 00:54:49,053
I best be a little bit
careful on this narrow road.
972
00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:51,856
It's worth £20 million.
973
00:54:53,824 --> 00:54:59,364
Where the GT40 boasted
a top speed of over 210mph,
974
00:54:59,397 --> 00:55:02,600
the P3 maxed out at just 190.
975
00:55:02,667 --> 00:55:08,773
But Enzo Ferrari was willing
to trade outright speed
for gains elsewhere.
976
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,510
The Ferrari was lighter,
it was more agile.
977
00:55:12,577 --> 00:55:15,946
Ferrari reckoned
he could make up
the difference in the bends,
978
00:55:16,013 --> 00:55:19,384
and he wouldn't have to stop
so often for fuel.
979
00:55:20,985 --> 00:55:24,489
A David and Goliath battle
was looming.
980
00:55:24,555 --> 00:55:30,094
At the 1966 Le Mans race,
Ford arrived with an armada -
981
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:33,398
eight cars,
20 tonnes of spares,
982
00:55:33,464 --> 00:55:35,800
and a squad
of world-class drivers,
983
00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:38,436
including Ken Miles himself.
984
00:55:38,503 --> 00:55:42,907
In comparison, Ferrari turned
up with just a trio of P3s,
985
00:55:42,973 --> 00:55:44,875
but Enzo had an ace
up his sleeve -
986
00:55:44,942 --> 00:55:48,613
the undisputed
fastest driver on the planet,
987
00:55:48,679 --> 00:55:53,183
Formula One World Champion
John Surtees.
988
00:55:53,250 --> 00:55:59,590
He came to me and said,
"John... we've got to beat
the Fords. Go out and do it."
989
00:55:59,657 --> 00:56:01,225
I thought
there was only one tactic -
990
00:56:01,291 --> 00:56:04,929
to have at least one car
be the hare.
991
00:56:04,995 --> 00:56:09,434
I said, "Look,
I don't mind being the hare."
992
00:56:09,434 --> 00:56:11,235
"The moment
that flag goes down,
993
00:56:11,301 --> 00:56:13,237
we need to be - bang - off,"
994
00:56:13,303 --> 00:56:18,108
tempting the Ford drivers
to perhaps overdrive
a little bit.
995
00:56:18,175 --> 00:56:21,111
If one could push them
hard enough for long enough,
996
00:56:21,178 --> 00:56:26,316
then there is more
likelihood, obviously,
of being able to break them.
997
00:56:26,451 --> 00:56:28,152
The plan was set.
998
00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:32,457
But, as zero hour approached,
everything unravelled.
999
00:56:32,523 --> 00:56:35,693
Shortly before
the race, we learned that
he wasn't going to drive,
1000
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,495
and we asked him about it.
1001
00:56:37,562 --> 00:56:41,265
Yes, unfortunately
you've heard correct.
I won't be driving.
1002
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:43,333
What is the reason?
1003
00:56:43,468 --> 00:56:46,471
Well, I suppose it's best
summed up at this stage
1004
00:56:46,504 --> 00:56:49,006
by saying
"political reasons."
1005
00:56:49,073 --> 00:56:51,341
The problem was that
the Ferrari team manager
1006
00:56:51,476 --> 00:56:53,744
was playing
his own political game.
1007
00:56:53,811 --> 00:56:56,213
He had no particular liking
for Surtees,
1008
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:57,848
and he nominated
another driver
1009
00:56:57,915 --> 00:57:00,951
to go out and start the race,
to be the hare,
1010
00:57:01,018 --> 00:57:06,591
even though Surtees
was clearly
the fastest man available.
1011
00:57:06,657 --> 00:57:11,195
And I just stormed
away, drove back, and
had it out with the old man.
1012
00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,498
As the Italian papers put it,
1013
00:57:13,531 --> 00:57:17,602
they showed a picture
of me walking out the gates
and saying,
1014
00:57:17,668 --> 00:57:22,507
"The divorce of John Surtees
and Enzo."
1015
00:57:24,675 --> 00:57:26,777
With Surtees out of the way,
1016
00:57:26,844 --> 00:57:30,014
the Fords took the top four
slots in qualifying.
1017
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:34,519
And as the clock ticked down,
Henry Ford II
prepared to drop the flag,
1018
00:57:34,585 --> 00:57:40,424
praying that, this time,
he would get his revenge.
1019
00:57:40,525 --> 00:57:44,194
Live from Le Mans, France,
it's the 24 Hours of Le Mans.
1020
00:57:57,007 --> 00:57:59,544
At first, the Fords
stormed into the lead.
1021
00:57:59,577 --> 00:58:01,411
But a few hours in,
1022
00:58:01,546 --> 00:58:07,552
it was beginning to look like
a depressing repeat
of '64 and '65.
1023
00:58:07,552 --> 00:58:10,387
As night fell, the Ferraris,
using their greater agility
1024
00:58:10,454 --> 00:58:12,356
and their greater
fuel efficiency,
1025
00:58:12,422 --> 00:58:14,458
were leading the race
one-two.
1026
00:58:14,559 --> 00:58:20,565
Four of the eight GT40s were
out of the race altogether.
1027
00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:25,603
Worse still, the Ford drivers
had strict orders
not to go balls-out
1028
00:58:25,670 --> 00:58:29,073
for fear
of breaking the cars.
1029
00:58:29,139 --> 00:58:32,209
But one man wasn't listening
to those orders.
1030
00:58:32,276 --> 00:58:34,144
Ken Miles
put the hammer down,
1031
00:58:34,211 --> 00:58:37,815
set blistering lap times,
and retook the lead for Ford.
1032
00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:42,587
The Ferraris had no response
to this crushing pace,
1033
00:58:42,587 --> 00:58:46,791
and by morning,
they had either
broken down or crashed.
1034
00:58:48,626 --> 00:58:51,696
That afternoon, Henry Ford
watched his cars cruise home
1035
00:58:51,762 --> 00:58:55,099
to a spectacular
one-two-three finish.
1036
00:58:58,202 --> 00:59:02,272
First place
for the Ford GT Mk II,
1037
00:59:02,339 --> 00:59:06,443
and a first-time win
for America at Le Mans.
1038
00:59:06,510 --> 00:59:10,615
Ford would go on
to win their next four
Le Mans races.
1039
00:59:10,615 --> 00:59:13,784
But the man
who had contributed
so much to the team
1040
00:59:13,851 --> 00:59:15,920
didn't get to see
these triumphs.
1041
00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:19,624
Ken Miles was killed two
months after their first win,
1042
00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:22,326
testing the latest GT40.
1043
00:59:24,629 --> 00:59:28,232
It's impossible to calculate
how much Henry Ford spent
1044
00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:30,901
on his three-year campaign
to break Ferrari,
1045
00:59:30,968 --> 00:59:33,203
but experts reckon that,
at the very least,
1046
00:59:33,270 --> 00:59:38,709
in today's money,
it was £360 million.
1047
00:59:38,776 --> 00:59:42,647
Now, that's a big bill
for settling a spat
with an angry Italian.
1048
00:59:44,649 --> 00:59:47,184
But look what
we got out of it -
1049
00:59:47,251 --> 00:59:49,887
one of the world's
greatest cars.
1050
00:59:56,927 --> 00:59:58,395
Very good.
1051
00:59:58,462 --> 01:00:00,364
That was good. Very good.
1052
01:00:07,037 --> 01:00:09,139
-I hate you.
-I know.
1053
01:00:09,206 --> 01:00:14,144
No, but I really hate you
now, cos you've driven a
Ford GT40, and I never have.
1054
01:00:14,211 --> 01:00:16,847
I mean, next week
are you gonna lick
Helena Christensen?
1055
01:00:16,914 --> 01:00:18,382
Look...
1056
01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:21,819
I'm sure you could drive a
GT40 if you really wanted to.
1057
01:00:21,886 --> 01:00:23,387
I can't, I'm too tall.
1058
01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:25,289
Yeah, you mean fat.
1059
01:00:34,799 --> 01:00:37,201
Tall.
1060
01:00:37,267 --> 01:00:39,036
Horizontally tall.
1061
01:00:40,237 --> 01:00:42,439
Well, listen, whatever
dimension is the problem,
1062
01:00:42,506 --> 01:00:44,041
I can't drive one.
1063
01:00:44,108 --> 01:00:47,044
And on that terrible
disappointment,
it is time to end.
1064
01:00:47,111 --> 01:00:49,613
Thank you so much
for watching. Good night.
83978
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