Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,820 --> 00:00:03,956
And that's pretty much it
for this morning.
2
00:00:03,956 --> 00:00:05,189
Except remember to be
3
00:00:05,191 --> 00:00:07,024
on the lookout for jilted lovers.
4
00:00:07,026 --> 00:00:10,594
We'd like to break the streak
of revenge stabbings
5
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:12,350
this Valentine's.
6
00:00:12,488 --> 00:00:13,600
Any questions?
7
00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:15,510
We can't hear anything you're saying.
8
00:00:15,511 --> 00:00:16,174
What?
9
00:00:16,175 --> 00:00:18,955
We can't hear anything you're saying!
10
00:00:18,956 --> 00:00:21,055
I'm sorry. I... I'm having a hard time
11
00:00:21,057 --> 00:00:22,491
hearing you over the birds.
12
00:00:22,492 --> 00:00:23,874
Maybe Dina shouldn't have brought
13
00:00:23,876 --> 00:00:25,387
her loud, dirty birds into work.
14
00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:28,186
The birds are suffering
severe separation anxiety.
15
00:00:28,187 --> 00:00:30,881
What am I supposed to do?
Leave them home alone?
16
00:00:30,883 --> 00:00:33,917
I mean, traditionally,
that is what you do with pets.
17
00:00:35,012 --> 00:00:36,984
If Dina can bring in her birds,
18
00:00:36,985 --> 00:00:39,590
I'd like to bring in my cat.
He's very sick with dysentery.
19
00:00:39,592 --> 00:00:42,693
This is insane. It smells
like Toucan Sam's butthole!
20
00:00:42,695 --> 00:00:44,495
Just because you eat something fruity,
21
00:00:44,497 --> 00:00:46,206
doesn't make your butt smell fruity.
22
00:00:46,206 --> 00:00:47,295
For birds, it does.
23
00:00:47,295 --> 00:00:50,113
Small berries pass through them
virtually undigested.
24
00:00:50,115 --> 00:00:52,065
Okay, good meeting, everyone!
25
00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:53,066
What?
26
00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:56,636
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
27
00:00:58,589 --> 00:01:00,207
Attention Cloud 9 shoppers,
28
00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:02,553
today we celebrate St. Valentine,
29
00:01:02,554 --> 00:01:04,696
a priest who was beaten, stoned,
30
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:06,629
dragged through town, and decapitated.
31
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,832
Some say the color red
represents the pools of blood
32
00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:10,750
around his body.
33
00:01:11,430 --> 00:01:13,239
Cute teddy bears are 15% off.
34
00:01:14,495 --> 00:01:16,638
What are you getting me
for Valentine's Day?
35
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,095
Is it Valentine's Day?
36
00:01:18,096 --> 00:01:19,820
Mm-hmm. You didn't get me something?
37
00:01:19,821 --> 00:01:21,886
Do you have any Valentine's
Day cards for my wife
38
00:01:21,887 --> 00:01:23,146
that are cheaper than this?
39
00:01:23,147 --> 00:01:25,778
Well, that one's a dollar, so, no.
40
00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:28,254
Forget it. I'll just text her.
41
00:01:29,386 --> 00:01:30,825
Love is in the air.
42
00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:32,276
Oh, come on!
43
00:01:32,277 --> 00:01:34,671
Don't go all cynical on me.
This is a big day.
44
00:01:34,672 --> 00:01:39,094
This is our first Valentine's
as... daters?
45
00:01:39,096 --> 00:01:41,063
Not really a good word
for an adult relationship.
46
00:01:41,065 --> 00:01:42,931
No, boyfriend/girlfriend
makes us sound like
47
00:01:42,933 --> 00:01:44,266
we're in 8th grade.
48
00:01:44,268 --> 00:01:45,567
Lovers is gross.
49
00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:48,303
Ugh. Partners?
50
00:01:48,305 --> 00:01:51,525
What are we, lesbians that
own a candle shop together?
51
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:52,635
Fair point.
52
00:01:53,377 --> 00:01:56,278
- My main squeeze?
- Don't do that again.
53
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,704
- No?
- No.
54
00:01:57,705 --> 00:01:58,597
You don't like that, main squeeze?
55
00:01:58,599 --> 00:01:59,792
I don't like that, main squeeze.
56
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:00,548
Give me a squeeze.
57
00:02:00,549 --> 00:02:02,818
How much would it be
for just one Post-It?
58
00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:04,298
I don't need the whole pack.
59
00:02:05,456 --> 00:02:07,288
It's not how it works.
60
00:02:08,583 --> 00:02:09,744
If any of you guys don't have plans,
61
00:02:09,745 --> 00:02:11,760
I'm going to an
anti-Valentine's Day party
62
00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:13,195
tonight with some college kids.
63
00:02:13,531 --> 00:02:16,031
Should be a ton of ween
and the flyer says
64
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:17,611
no one shall be turned away.
65
00:02:17,612 --> 00:02:18,211
I'll go.
66
00:02:18,769 --> 00:02:20,502
Jerry's working late again tonight,
67
00:02:20,504 --> 00:02:22,504
- so I'm on my own.
- Wow, again.
68
00:02:22,506 --> 00:02:23,972
It's funny that a sign spinner
69
00:02:23,974 --> 00:02:25,073
would keep those kinds of hours.
70
00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:26,264
- I know.
- Sandra?
71
00:02:26,265 --> 00:02:27,609
Do you have any plans for tonight?
72
00:02:27,611 --> 00:02:29,216
Nope. Nuh-uh.
73
00:02:29,686 --> 00:02:31,447
Not seeing anyone, so
74
00:02:31,448 --> 00:02:34,383
I'm just gonna hang alone
in the ol' apartmentito.
75
00:02:34,385 --> 00:02:36,291
- So sad.
- Isn't it?
76
00:02:39,406 --> 00:02:40,190
Hey, Dina?
77
00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:43,225
So I don't know
what you thought you saw
78
00:02:43,227 --> 00:02:44,672
me and Jerry doing during the blizzard.
79
00:02:44,673 --> 00:02:45,837
Oh, I know what I saw.
80
00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:49,335
It was like Winnie the Pooh
with his head in the honeypot.
81
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,678
What had happened was I had
spilled coffee on my pants,
82
00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:54,975
so I took them off to dry,
and Jerry came over to help,
83
00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:58,357
but he tripped and tipped over
into my crotch, so...
84
00:02:58,359 --> 00:03:00,338
Stop, please.
85
00:03:01,111 --> 00:03:03,212
I'm not gonna tell anyone
about your little affair.
86
00:03:03,214 --> 00:03:07,055
Okay, thank you. I hate having secrets,
87
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:12,044
although the sneaking around
has made it even sexier.
88
00:03:12,045 --> 00:03:14,059
Nope, nope, nope. That's gross.
89
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,279
He comes over every night,
90
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,955
and sometimes we make lasagna together
91
00:03:19,956 --> 00:03:22,197
and eat it off each other's bodies.
92
00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:24,722
Elias, I'm gonna need you
to clean up the vomit
93
00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:26,357
that's gonna be all over
the ladies' bathroom
94
00:03:26,358 --> 00:03:28,095
in about three minutes.
95
00:03:31,008 --> 00:03:31,655
Go on.
96
00:03:32,182 --> 00:03:36,034
Everyone's calm. No eye contact.
97
00:03:36,130 --> 00:03:38,247
Seems like a lot of work
just to buy some chips.
98
00:03:38,249 --> 00:03:41,923
I'm not gonna let some stupid birds
99
00:03:41,924 --> 00:03:45,842
stop me from getting my morning Takis.
100
00:03:46,614 --> 00:03:49,241
You know we sell Takis
in the store, right?
101
00:03:49,243 --> 00:03:51,944
Uh-huh, but I like the little ones
102
00:03:51,946 --> 00:03:53,896
that come out of the vending machine.
103
00:03:53,898 --> 00:03:57,068
Aww, I like learning
about your little rituals.
104
00:03:57,388 --> 00:04:00,202
So you want Cheyenne
to tattoo your mom's face
105
00:04:00,204 --> 00:04:02,562
on your back as a gift to your mom?
106
00:04:02,563 --> 00:04:03,944
Yeah, I was gonna go to a pro,
107
00:04:03,945 --> 00:04:05,298
but you cannot get an appointment
108
00:04:05,299 --> 00:04:07,175
at a tattoo parlor on Valentine's Day.
109
00:04:07,177 --> 00:04:08,994
Don't worry, my instructor says
110
00:04:08,996 --> 00:04:10,717
that I'm the best in the class.
111
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,682
He was trained by the guy
who did Steve-O's back.
112
00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:15,050
I'm sorry, I'm still not over this.
113
00:04:15,052 --> 00:04:18,153
You want a tattoo of
your mom, for your mom,
114
00:04:18,155 --> 00:04:20,122
on Valentine's Day. Why?
115
00:04:20,124 --> 00:04:21,623
'Cause I'm her special guy,
116
00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:22,981
and the tattoo will be a surprise
117
00:04:22,982 --> 00:04:25,127
for when she scratches my back
while I fall asleep.
118
00:04:25,129 --> 00:04:27,850
- Don't make this weird.
- Yeah, I made it weird.
119
00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:31,580
Which sweater makes me look
more like a wise dad,
120
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:33,216
the charcoal or the smoke?
121
00:04:33,217 --> 00:04:35,802
Hmm, I think the charcoal.
122
00:04:35,803 --> 00:04:37,920
That's the smoke.
123
00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:40,909
Dina's right, you don't know fashion.
124
00:04:40,911 --> 00:04:43,384
Okay. Well, what do you need them for?
125
00:04:43,385 --> 00:04:46,014
Oh, I'm making videos
of myself for Rose to watch
126
00:04:46,016 --> 00:04:47,489
when I'm not home 'cause, you know,
127
00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:50,018
I work here 16 to 19 hours a day,
128
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:51,674
so I'm missing a lot of time with her.
129
00:04:51,675 --> 00:04:52,988
Wait, what... why?
130
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:54,690
Why are working that many hours?
131
00:04:54,692 --> 00:04:56,391
Well, you know,
I get here around 4:00 a.m.
132
00:04:56,393 --> 00:04:57,651
to walk the store,
133
00:04:57,652 --> 00:04:59,878
and then there's the workday,
and then after closing,
134
00:04:59,879 --> 00:05:01,746
it takes me two hours
to prepare my script
135
00:05:01,747 --> 00:05:03,632
for the next morning's
break room meeting.
136
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:06,339
Those are pre... prepared comments?
137
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,449
No, I just come up with all that
138
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:09,572
off the top of my head.
139
00:05:10,047 --> 00:05:11,261
Come on, Amy.
140
00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:14,537
Careful, careful.
141
00:05:14,538 --> 00:05:15,372
I'm being careful.
142
00:05:15,373 --> 00:05:17,116
I don't need you
to tell me to be careful.
143
00:05:17,815 --> 00:05:19,080
All right, here we go.
144
00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:24,525
- Nice job.
- All right.
145
00:05:25,939 --> 00:05:28,702
You see, the trick is steady hands.
146
00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:31,593
I was gonna be a surgeon, but...
147
00:05:31,595 --> 00:05:33,245
- Oh, no!
- Whoa!
148
00:05:33,247 --> 00:05:34,896
Uh, nope. Uh, oh. No. Uh-uh.
149
00:05:34,898 --> 00:05:36,314
No, no, no, no. Get the birds!
150
00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:37,399
I know!
151
00:05:44,808 --> 00:05:46,808
No thank you, no thank you,
no thank you.
152
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:49,344
Wait, stop it! No!
153
00:05:50,681 --> 00:05:52,714
No. No, wait.
154
00:05:54,651 --> 00:05:56,485
The birds are out! Lock all the doors!
155
00:05:56,487 --> 00:05:58,120
They're getting away!
156
00:05:58,122 --> 00:05:59,721
Shut the doors! It's not too late!
157
00:05:59,723 --> 00:06:01,289
Oh, God! No!
158
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:02,758
Don't let them get away!
159
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,659
- Oh, my God!
- Come back!
160
00:06:04,661 --> 00:06:06,695
Oh, no! The doors! Please!
161
00:06:06,697 --> 00:06:09,181
Ah! My babies!
162
00:06:09,183 --> 00:06:12,419
No!
163
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,865
Sebastian! Where are you?
164
00:06:19,269 --> 00:06:20,364
Cockatrice!
165
00:06:21,052 --> 00:06:22,694
I'm here, baby!
166
00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:24,618
Birdie!
167
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,920
Ugh, I feel so bad for her.
168
00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:29,333
It's like with kids, you know?
169
00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:30,757
You can be the best parent,
170
00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:32,592
and then one day you forget
to lock the cage,
171
00:06:32,594 --> 00:06:34,218
and they're gone.
172
00:06:35,539 --> 00:06:37,381
I don't put my kids in cages. That's...
173
00:06:37,383 --> 00:06:39,754
It wasn't Dina, it was Garret.
174
00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:41,958
- What?
- Yeah, it was a mistake.
175
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:44,743
Uh, he wanted these Takis.
It's... you had to be there,
176
00:06:44,744 --> 00:06:47,210
but anyway, he... he
cracked the door open,
177
00:06:47,211 --> 00:06:48,716
and the birds just all flew out.
178
00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:49,538
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
179
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,436
Hey, can you two stop
scissoring each other
180
00:06:51,437 --> 00:06:53,420
for one second
and help me call my birds?
181
00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:54,489
Yes, sure.
182
00:07:01,949 --> 00:07:03,055
Happy Valentine's Day.
183
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,586
Ooh, I thought you
weren't seeing anyone.
184
00:07:07,587 --> 00:07:09,481
It's not... I mean, it's kind of a...
185
00:07:09,687 --> 00:07:11,362
it's just... it's complicated.
186
00:07:12,773 --> 00:07:14,146
What are you laughing at?
187
00:07:14,147 --> 00:07:16,352
Oh, I was just remembering
the time you wanted everyone
188
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,102
to think you had a boyfriend,
so you kept sending yourself
189
00:07:19,103 --> 00:07:21,008
Valentine's gifts from Jeff.
190
00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:22,955
I didn't send this to myself.
191
00:07:22,956 --> 00:07:24,776
There's a card.
192
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,749
No, wait. No, no.
193
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:30,350
"To my Sandy Bear,
love Antonio Lasagna."
194
00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:36,280
That's a... such a distinctive,
real-sounding name.
195
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,890
It's Italian, probably.
It sounds Italian.
196
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,348
- Mm-hmm.
- Yup.
197
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,681
Now, this book is one
198
00:07:43,682 --> 00:07:45,514
that Nana Sturgis used to read to me
199
00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:46,616
when I was little.
200
00:07:46,617 --> 00:07:49,217
It's called "You Can Do It."
201
00:07:51,682 --> 00:07:53,714
"Jimmy wants to be an astronaut
202
00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:55,905
and fly a rocket to space."
203
00:07:56,353 --> 00:07:58,179
"You can do it, Jimmy!"
204
00:07:59,035 --> 00:08:01,580
"Polly wants to be an astronaut's wife
205
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,870
and keep the house tidy
the way Jimmy likes it."
206
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,464
"You can do it, Polly."
207
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,627
Wow, I have not read this in a while.
208
00:08:12,017 --> 00:08:13,951
Um, what else we got?
209
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,767
"Midget Sam Goes
To Darkest Africa," no.
210
00:08:16,768 --> 00:08:18,550
"Get To Know The Orientals"?
211
00:08:18,551 --> 00:08:22,278
Oh, man! Oh, God!
212
00:08:22,279 --> 00:08:24,112
You do not get used to that pain!
213
00:08:24,552 --> 00:08:27,586
Oh! But it'll all be worth it
for that look at my mom's face
214
00:08:27,587 --> 00:08:28,911
when she takes my shirt off.
215
00:08:29,311 --> 00:08:31,020
Totally, totally!
216
00:08:34,031 --> 00:08:35,510
Uh, can you hang on for a second?
217
00:08:35,511 --> 00:08:38,190
I just have to tell Mateo
something before I forget.
218
00:08:38,192 --> 00:08:40,373
- Oh, oh.
- Hey.
219
00:08:41,195 --> 00:08:42,462
I [bleep] up.
220
00:08:42,463 --> 00:08:44,045
What are you talking about?
221
00:08:44,046 --> 00:08:47,368
Marcus's tattoo.
It's way harder than I thought.
222
00:08:47,369 --> 00:08:48,673
I thought you were taking classes.
223
00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:51,168
I am, but so far,
I've only tattooed grapefruits,
224
00:08:51,169 --> 00:08:53,108
and I thought it would be
the same, but it's not!
225
00:08:53,109 --> 00:08:55,927
The skin is all mushy and bleed-y.
226
00:08:55,928 --> 00:08:58,629
Girl, don't be so hard up
on yourself, okay?
227
00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:01,465
I'm sure it's not nearly
as bad as you...
228
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:02,288
What?
229
00:09:02,289 --> 00:09:05,636
That is just so amazing.
230
00:09:05,638 --> 00:09:08,081
Um, is your mother a model?
231
00:09:08,082 --> 00:09:10,117
Uh, kind of. She used to wear
232
00:09:10,118 --> 00:09:11,892
the Fredbird costume for the Cardinals.
233
00:09:13,729 --> 00:09:14,808
I can see that.
234
00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:19,679
- Wow, that's a lot.
- Yeah, what do you think?
235
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,618
I had to take down that poster
of that missing kid,
236
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:22,943
but I mean at this point...
237
00:09:23,336 --> 00:09:25,906
I never should've left
them in that cheap cage
238
00:09:25,908 --> 00:09:26,907
with that crap lock.
239
00:09:26,909 --> 00:09:28,792
This is why workplaces need
240
00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:30,660
secure, dedicated aviaries.
241
00:09:30,661 --> 00:09:32,629
Dina, you can't really blame yourself.
242
00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:33,866
That's sweet of you to say,
243
00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:35,999
but I have to take
responsibility for what I did.
244
00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:37,645
I let my birds escape,
245
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,879
and I to live with that
for the rest of my life.
246
00:09:40,506 --> 00:09:41,805
Um, no, Dina...
247
00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:43,836
No, it's fine. It's fine.
248
00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:45,809
I'm already getting used
to the feeling.
249
00:09:45,811 --> 00:09:49,236
It's just like a...
like a searing gnawing
250
00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:51,330
deep inside my soul.
251
00:09:51,817 --> 00:09:53,894
It's very, very specific.
252
00:09:53,895 --> 00:09:56,019
Um, oops!
253
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:57,688
Out of flyers.
254
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,616
I feel guilty about the birds.
255
00:10:11,537 --> 00:10:13,036
- Okay.
- I just...
256
00:10:14,542 --> 00:10:15,925
I just kind of need
to talk to a friend.
257
00:10:16,008 --> 00:10:19,377
Oh, oh, well,
I'm a friend, so talk away.
258
00:10:19,378 --> 00:10:22,530
It's just this is, like,
the worst thing I've ever done,
259
00:10:22,531 --> 00:10:25,048
and I have no idea what
Dina's going to do
260
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:26,385
if she finds out that it was me.
261
00:10:26,386 --> 00:10:29,105
Oh, listen, you... you do not
have to worry about that, okay?
262
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:30,888
Because I am not gonna tell her.
263
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:33,390
This is a secret
that stays amongst friends.
264
00:10:33,392 --> 00:10:35,642
No, I... I... I know I can trust you.
265
00:10:35,644 --> 00:10:37,266
I mean, it's not like
you're going to run off
266
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:38,695
and tell Amy or anything like that.
267
00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:40,697
Oh, uh, Amy... Amy too.
268
00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:42,733
I mean, uh, of... of course Amy too.
269
00:10:42,735 --> 00:10:44,852
That's... nobody needs to know.
270
00:10:46,038 --> 00:10:47,539
You haven't told her, right?
271
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:50,157
Mm-mm.
272
00:10:52,373 --> 00:10:54,234
Oh, hey! Hey, hey.
I was looking for you.
273
00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:55,110
I was looking for you.
274
00:10:55,111 --> 00:10:57,171
You haven't said anything to Dina
about Garrett yet, have you?
275
00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:58,421
No, but we have to tell her.
276
00:10:58,422 --> 00:11:00,322
Uh, no, actually, we... we can't.
277
00:11:00,324 --> 00:11:01,488
No, no. We have to.
278
00:11:01,489 --> 00:11:03,094
She's thinks she's the one
who let the birds loose.
279
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,155
Uh, yeah, okay, yeah and that sucks,
280
00:11:05,156 --> 00:11:07,263
but I wasn't supposed
to say anything to you
281
00:11:07,264 --> 00:11:09,318
in the first place,
so now you can't say anything.
282
00:11:09,319 --> 00:11:11,189
So, I'm sorry, I'm supposed
to just let her go on
283
00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:13,047
beating herself up when
it wasn't really her fault?
284
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,726
- Uh, exactly.
- No! I can't do that.
285
00:11:15,727 --> 00:11:18,272
- How am I supposed to do that?
- Just pretend you don't know.
286
00:11:18,273 --> 00:11:20,939
- But I do know.
- That's why I said pretend.
287
00:11:21,019 --> 00:11:21,911
Excuse me,
288
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,955
this card has a frog and a bear
kissing each other.
289
00:11:25,306 --> 00:11:27,139
- Very good, yeah.
- What's next,
290
00:11:27,148 --> 00:11:29,482
kangaroos and sharks
having full on anal sex?
291
00:11:30,303 --> 00:11:30,900
Shame.
292
00:11:32,653 --> 00:11:33,096
Wow.
293
00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:38,240
How's it going back there?
294
00:11:38,818 --> 00:11:39,625
It's... good.
295
00:11:40,128 --> 00:11:42,676
It's really turning into something.
296
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:44,163
Uh, need more ink.
297
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:48,811
- What do I do?
- Can't you just cover it up?
298
00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:50,546
Oh, yeah, sure.
299
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:52,476
I'll just turn it into a top hat
300
00:11:52,542 --> 00:11:54,209
and then tattoo his
mom's face underneath,
301
00:11:54,318 --> 00:11:56,191
and then that way it's like
she's a magician, huh?
302
00:11:56,192 --> 00:11:57,569
How's that?
303
00:11:57,571 --> 00:11:59,556
You've never been sarcastic
with me before.
304
00:11:59,557 --> 00:12:00,687
I don't care for it.
305
00:12:03,627 --> 00:12:06,621
- It's tough to watch, huh?
- Yeah, it's terrible.
306
00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:08,869
I just wish there was
something we can do for her,
307
00:12:09,282 --> 00:12:12,142
make her not blame herself so much.
308
00:12:12,143 --> 00:12:13,874
Yeah, I wish we... I can do that too.
309
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:16,542
Hey, what are y'all two fools
310
00:12:16,543 --> 00:12:18,325
talking about, huh? Stuff?
311
00:12:18,326 --> 00:12:19,310
- Nothing.
- Dina.
312
00:12:19,455 --> 00:12:21,697
Dina? What are you saying about Dina?
313
00:12:21,698 --> 00:12:25,712
Nothing, just that I wish
we knew how her birds got out,
314
00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:27,306
'cause she thinks it was her fault.
315
00:12:27,307 --> 00:12:30,103
Well, it probably is
her fault, for all we know.
316
00:12:30,104 --> 00:12:32,093
Yup, none of us were there.
317
00:12:32,797 --> 00:12:33,614
Nope.
318
00:12:34,717 --> 00:12:36,397
- You told her, didn't you?
- I did not.
319
00:12:36,398 --> 00:12:37,270
- Yes, he did.
- Amy!
320
00:12:37,271 --> 00:12:39,694
- Dude, I trusted you!
- I trusted her!
321
00:12:39,696 --> 00:12:41,245
Fine, you both messed up.
322
00:12:41,246 --> 00:12:43,200
- What about you?
- What did I do?
323
00:12:52,217 --> 00:12:56,211
♪ Keep the love-light glowing ♪
324
00:12:56,213 --> 00:12:59,631
♪ In your eyes so true ♪
325
00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:01,716
How much is it costing her
to keep this up?
326
00:13:01,718 --> 00:13:03,415
It's so sad. I love it.
327
00:13:04,221 --> 00:13:05,519
♪ Let me call you, sweetheart ♪
328
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:11,643
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
329
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,367
What are you doing?
330
00:13:15,084 --> 00:13:16,803
Not gonna need this stuff anymore.
331
00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:18,321
I mean, they might still come back.
332
00:13:18,322 --> 00:13:19,813
They... birds have, like,
333
00:13:19,814 --> 00:13:21,209
a great sense of direction, right?
334
00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,252
They don't know where the store is.
335
00:13:22,253 --> 00:13:24,336
They could be halfway to Mexico by now.
336
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,817
That's assuming
they didn't find their way
337
00:13:25,818 --> 00:13:28,079
into a jet engine or an archery event
338
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,159
or a really clear window,
339
00:13:30,804 --> 00:13:31,923
all because of me.
340
00:13:31,924 --> 00:13:34,183
Look, Dina, the fact is that, um...
341
00:13:34,184 --> 00:13:35,811
Although, I guess it is possible
342
00:13:35,812 --> 00:13:37,606
they could find their way back
to my apartment.
343
00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:38,592
- It is?
- Yeah.
344
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:40,010
I mean, a few of them
could've found their way,
345
00:13:40,011 --> 00:13:41,256
and the rest just followed.
346
00:13:41,616 --> 00:13:43,307
Well, that's awesome.
347
00:13:43,308 --> 00:13:44,521
Let's go check it out right now.
348
00:13:44,522 --> 00:13:46,227
Wow, you really care about this, huh?
349
00:13:46,228 --> 00:13:48,441
You have no idea.
Come on, let's go. Let's go!
350
00:13:48,932 --> 00:13:50,904
When a man and a woman
351
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:54,827
go into a bedroom with God,
352
00:13:55,605 --> 00:13:57,011
and they...
353
00:13:59,937 --> 00:14:02,371
There comes a moment of, uh...
354
00:14:03,304 --> 00:14:05,851
between that is holy and...
355
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:15,319
Ow!
356
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:18,265
No!
357
00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:19,294
Oh!
358
00:14:23,124 --> 00:14:27,635
Wow, that... that sure is something.
359
00:14:28,289 --> 00:14:29,853
It's a work in progress.
360
00:14:29,854 --> 00:14:31,489
You think my mom will be surprised?
361
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,589
Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's going to be...
362
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:34,223
shocked.
363
00:14:34,224 --> 00:14:36,285
Hey Jonah,
364
00:14:36,286 --> 00:14:38,095
wanna see what my mom
looks like on my back?
365
00:14:38,096 --> 00:14:39,320
No, thanks. I'm busy.
366
00:14:41,024 --> 00:14:42,845
- Drama.
- Excuse me.
367
00:14:44,197 --> 00:14:45,964
All right, let's keep going.
368
00:14:46,534 --> 00:14:47,298
Oh.
369
00:14:49,007 --> 00:14:53,329
Ow! Oh, God! Why?
370
00:14:54,848 --> 00:14:56,470
Are you actually mad at me?
371
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,264
A little bit, yeah.
372
00:14:58,884 --> 00:15:00,191
Wow, okay, well,
373
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:01,803
I'm not really that
happy with you either.
374
00:15:01,804 --> 00:15:04,087
Great, it should be
an exciting Valentine's dinner.
375
00:15:04,088 --> 00:15:07,089
You can't expect me to side
with Garrett over Dina.
376
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:09,675
I was expecting you
to side with me over Dina.
377
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,641
Why? Because you're my boyfriend?
378
00:15:11,642 --> 00:15:13,147
Yeah, pretty much. That's how it works.
379
00:15:13,148 --> 00:15:14,062
Well, not for me.
380
00:15:14,063 --> 00:15:16,097
Great, well, if you love Dina so much,
381
00:15:16,098 --> 00:15:17,398
why don't you go to dinner
with her tonight then, huh?
382
00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:18,675
Oh great, just go on and be a dick.
383
00:15:18,676 --> 00:15:19,389
Oh, come on.
384
00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:21,369
Of course I don't love Dina.
I love you.
385
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:22,711
Yeah, well, I love you too,
386
00:15:22,712 --> 00:15:24,688
but that has nothing to do
with what we're talking about,
387
00:15:24,689 --> 00:15:26,331
and I'm pretty sure we both just said
388
00:15:26,332 --> 00:15:28,851
- that we love each other.
- Yeah, I know what we said!
389
00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:31,220
Well, I'm glad you're listening.
390
00:15:32,179 --> 00:15:35,735
Portobello! Squeedledee!
391
00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:39,058
Russell Crow, where are you guys?
392
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:41,057
Follow my voice!
393
00:15:41,058 --> 00:15:42,428
Garrett, it's okay.
394
00:15:43,445 --> 00:15:44,260
They're gone.
395
00:15:45,262 --> 00:15:46,107
Damn it!
396
00:15:47,193 --> 00:15:49,442
Wow, you're almost as upset
about this as I am.
397
00:15:49,443 --> 00:15:51,871
Yeah, man, I... I love those guys.
398
00:15:51,872 --> 00:15:53,949
Guess I'm going to have
to get used to being alone.
399
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:55,226
No, Dina, you're not alone.
400
00:15:55,227 --> 00:15:55,866
I mean...
401
00:15:57,767 --> 00:15:59,099
I'm here.
402
00:15:59,101 --> 00:16:00,272
Thank you.
403
00:16:00,937 --> 00:16:02,928
You're a really good friend.
404
00:16:03,272 --> 00:16:05,272
No. No, I'm not.
405
00:16:05,274 --> 00:16:08,360
Look, Dina, um...
406
00:16:09,078 --> 00:16:10,703
I need to, um...
407
00:16:12,081 --> 00:16:14,281
I guess I wanted to, um...
408
00:16:16,344 --> 00:16:18,452
I wanted to give you this.
409
00:16:19,956 --> 00:16:21,589
Why are you giving me $17?
410
00:16:21,591 --> 00:16:25,125
'Cause, uh, I thought
that you needed it.
411
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,292
Well, you're just full of surprises.
412
00:16:27,949 --> 00:16:28,828
Thank you.
413
00:16:30,394 --> 00:16:32,322
You know what?
No, look, here's the deal.
414
00:16:32,323 --> 00:16:33,591
This was not what I was...
415
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:34,763
whoa, whoa, whoa!
Dina, what are you doing?
416
00:16:34,764 --> 00:16:37,495
I just... I just don't want to
think about the birds right now.
417
00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:41,701
You're into this, right?
418
00:16:41,702 --> 00:16:43,643
- Uh-huh.
- All right.
419
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:46,997
You're... you're just
not taking your clothes off.
420
00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:49,228
Uh, uh, eh, that gets me horny.
421
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,259
That's new. Hot.
422
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:57,940
Thanks, not just for the sex...
423
00:16:58,149 --> 00:16:59,398
but, I mean, it was decent.
424
00:16:59,592 --> 00:17:00,288
Sure.
425
00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:01,795
I mean...
426
00:17:03,302 --> 00:17:04,813
thanks for being so supportive.
427
00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:07,199
I guess we'll always be there
for each other, huh?
428
00:17:07,201 --> 00:17:08,253
Yup.
429
00:17:09,132 --> 00:17:11,320
I mean, it was better than decent.
430
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,454
It just wasn't great.
431
00:17:13,021 --> 00:17:14,456
You know, it was fine.
432
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:16,208
If it were a meal, it would be like,
433
00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:18,327
"Oh, that's done."
434
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:19,669
You know?
435
00:17:23,281 --> 00:17:25,501
Did I climax? Sure.
436
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,182
Ah, this is good.
437
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,324
I think as soon as this is done,
438
00:17:33,325 --> 00:17:35,802
I am going to be ready for round deux.
439
00:17:38,746 --> 00:17:40,807
Now you're probably
in a lot of pain right now,
440
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,989
so you're probably not seeing it right.
441
00:17:43,514 --> 00:17:45,014
That's a good point.
442
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,280
It you can see it how we're seeing it,
443
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,282
it's even better than this.
444
00:17:49,284 --> 00:17:52,318
Yeah, and... and the reason
for the hat is because
445
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,821
moms today have to wear
so many different hats,
446
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,806
or, like, one big hat.
447
00:17:59,527 --> 00:18:00,590
What was that?
448
00:18:01,111 --> 00:18:02,560
What have you done to me?
449
00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:04,229
- Huh?
- I'm sorry.
450
00:18:04,231 --> 00:18:06,233
What have you done to me?
451
00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:09,489
So to review, you released
Dina's birds into the wild,
452
00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:11,479
allowed her to believe
it was her fault,
453
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,501
persuaded her to go back
to her apartment,
454
00:18:13,502 --> 00:18:16,945
and proceeded to have sex
with her in exchange for $17?
455
00:18:16,946 --> 00:18:18,462
Twice. We did it twice.
456
00:18:18,463 --> 00:18:19,966
What is wrong with you?
457
00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:22,358
I just wanted some Takis, you know?
458
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:24,966
Rolled up tortilla chips,
bit of flavor in the morning,
459
00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:26,048
and then everything just escalated.
460
00:18:26,049 --> 00:18:27,452
You know, as your friend, I'd ask you
461
00:18:27,453 --> 00:18:28,653
to consider your part in this,
462
00:18:28,654 --> 00:18:32,090
which is all of it.
This is all your fault.
463
00:18:32,092 --> 00:18:33,979
Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna tell her.
464
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:34,695
- No!
- Good.
465
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,514
No! Absolutely not!
466
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,402
She must never know any of this.
467
00:18:38,403 --> 00:18:40,324
You were the one who said
he should be telling her.
468
00:18:40,325 --> 00:18:42,165
Yes, but that was before!
469
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,969
Before I was the friend who sat idly by
470
00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:46,438
while her birds' murderer
went off and sympathy-sexed her
471
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,447
at her lowest moment.
472
00:18:47,448 --> 00:18:50,158
Absolutely not! No, sir!
She will not know any of this!
473
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,568
Wait a second, so I'm
supposed to sit around
474
00:18:51,569 --> 00:18:53,278
with this for the rest of my life?
475
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,412
I can't live with that kind of guilt.
476
00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:56,053
Well, too bad!
477
00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:57,858
Find a way.
478
00:19:02,863 --> 00:19:03,645
While I have you,
479
00:19:03,646 --> 00:19:06,784
um, we said we love each other,
480
00:19:06,785 --> 00:19:08,260
so pretty cool.
481
00:19:08,977 --> 00:19:10,943
I'll fill you in on the details later.
482
00:19:13,824 --> 00:19:15,034
Sandra, are you sure
483
00:19:15,035 --> 00:19:16,046
you don't wanna come to the party?
484
00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:18,185
It's going to be, like, dong central.
485
00:19:18,186 --> 00:19:20,472
That sounds really fun,
but no thank you.
486
00:19:20,474 --> 00:19:22,017
Take the hint, Justine.
487
00:19:22,018 --> 00:19:24,151
She obviously has big plans tonight
488
00:19:24,152 --> 00:19:25,810
with Antonio Lasagna.
489
00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:28,915
Well, if you wanna crush
some dong, call me.
490
00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:31,147
They better have food at this party.
491
00:19:31,148 --> 00:19:33,176
Actually, they told me
I had to bring pizzas.
492
00:19:34,154 --> 00:19:35,358
I really hate her.
493
00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:37,132
Me too, Sandy Bear.
494
00:19:41,545 --> 00:19:43,287
Rose, I am so sorry
495
00:19:43,288 --> 00:19:45,711
I couldn't be there
for your wedding day,
496
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:49,944
but I am so happy for you
and your husband...
497
00:19:50,387 --> 00:19:54,137
or... or wife or sex android.
498
00:19:54,138 --> 00:19:56,102
I... I don't know
what the future is like.
499
00:19:56,906 --> 00:20:00,563
Just don't make the same
mistakes I made, you know?
500
00:20:00,564 --> 00:20:03,014
Spending all your time
at work and missing out
501
00:20:03,016 --> 00:20:04,287
on these precious moments.
502
00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,801
I mean, if I could go back in time
503
00:20:06,802 --> 00:20:08,382
and do it all over again,
504
00:20:08,383 --> 00:20:09,280
I...
505
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:11,439
huh.
506
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,122
I think I'm done being manager.
507
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,505
So where are we going to dinner?
508
00:20:25,506 --> 00:20:26,384
It's a surprise.
509
00:20:26,904 --> 00:20:28,687
Is it that tapas place I love?
510
00:20:28,688 --> 00:20:30,425
It's that tapas place I love.
511
00:20:30,426 --> 00:20:33,045
- You guys heading out?
- Yeah, going to dinner.
512
00:20:33,046 --> 00:20:34,342
Oh, that sounds fun.
513
00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:37,432
I'd go with you but, uh,
I've got to deal with the birds
514
00:20:37,434 --> 00:20:38,870
and their medicine and...
515
00:20:39,177 --> 00:20:41,617
Wow, I guess I don't
516
00:20:41,618 --> 00:20:43,387
have to deal with any of that anymore.
517
00:20:44,516 --> 00:20:47,235
You know what? I can go with you.
518
00:20:47,611 --> 00:20:49,959
- Oh, yeah, well...
- Oh, wow, that's perfect.
519
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,502
So where we headed?
520
00:20:51,503 --> 00:20:55,795
Uh, it's this place off of 44
called Barrel and Sage,
521
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,229
kind of a, um,
small plates tapas thing.
522
00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:00,471
Not gonna work for me.
Not enough vegan options.
523
00:21:00,472 --> 00:21:02,222
I do know of a grocery
store that has tables,
524
00:21:02,223 --> 00:21:03,709
that way we can all do our own thing.
525
00:21:03,710 --> 00:21:06,973
Or, oh, have you guys
ever been to Super Tofu?
526
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,145
It's not great, but you do not
need reservations.
527
00:21:09,146 --> 00:21:10,275
There's never anyone there.
528
00:21:10,276 --> 00:21:11,311
I mean, it smells bad,
529
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:13,532
but you get used to it
as the meal progresses.
38005
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof