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1
00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:03,877
- [thuds]
- Shitting thing.
2
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:05,838
Guillermo... He doesn't live here anymore.
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,756
How is it? I can't see.
4
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:11,052
{\an8}Tonight we are attending
a very special event.
5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,053
Ha!
6
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,179
Aye, fuck.
7
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:19,143
The Baron is receiving
an eternal lifetime achievement award.
8
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:23,814
I have never heard of such a thing,
but it sounds very cool.
9
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,482
["Dancing In The Moonlight" plays]
10
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,943
{\an8}[Nadja] It is about time
our Baron got recognized
11
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,862
{\an8}for all the incredible work he does
12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,530
{\an8}- in our local community.
- Yeah.
13
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,907
He has done so much for all of us,
both as a leader
14
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,909
- and as a reliable lay.
- Yeah.
15
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:38,662
{\an8}Of course I am quite accustomed
to being exalted...
16
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:41,749
- [Sire growling]
- ...praised, feared. [laughs]
17
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,501
- But this shall be a night to remember.
- [offspring fluttering]
18
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,337
Alas, no. The Sire cannot make it.
19
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:50,466
Our usual sitter just started
at Northwestern and, well...
20
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,550
- [retches]
- Oh...
21
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,136
You know how hard it is
to find someone new.
22
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,680
- Baron, give us a twirl.
- [chuckling] Oh. No.
23
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,766
- Yes, please, Baron.
- Look at him go. Wow.
24
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,893
- [Nandor] Yeah. Spin, Baron, spin.
- [Nadja] Wow.
25
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,063
Look at you all. Where are we going?
26
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,690
We are going to an event
to honor the Baron.
27
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,442
- Oh.
- [Nandor] And you are not.
28
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,320
- Oh.
- Because you have made it very clear
29
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:15,407
that your future lies with the humans,
not the vampires.
30
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,368
- That's not fair.
- [Nandor] Guillermo, we are a family.
31
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,162
- Right.
- We'll always be a family.
32
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:23,499
- Thank you. [chuckles]
- And you are no longer part of the family.
33
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,627
- Capisce?
- Because you rejected your vampire family.
34
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,630
- I didn't...
- Yeah. The "vamily."
35
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,007
Oh. Colin Robinson, no.
36
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,093
- Hell-lo.
- Here he is.
37
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,385
- Shall we saddle up?
- Yes.
38
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:37,262
Well, why does the monster get
to go and not me?
39
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,972
- "Vamily."
- [Colin] Yeah.
40
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:41,935
- [Nadja] No, not him as well.
- [Laszlo] Very good. [laughs]
41
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,931
{\an8}Yeah, I'm a little hurt I'm not going
to the vampire gathering tonight
42
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,768
{\an8}but it's probably for the best, you know?
43
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,689
{\an8}Besides, I already made plans
to hang out with my cousin Miguel.
44
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:31,234
{\an8}Actually, Miguel and I used
to be really close when I was little.
45
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,945
But then he kinda became this, like, jock.
46
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,697
We grew apart,
47
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,702
but our moms are determined
that we be really good friends. [chuckles]
48
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:45,039
We're gonna hang out.
49
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,922
- Miguel! Hey. [chuckling]
- Hey. How you doing?
50
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,883
[laughing] You love it.
51
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,342
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do.
52
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,636
No, I don't. [chuckling] I really don't.
53
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:03,015
We should've done this sooner.
I was working at this job, you know?
54
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,934
It was crazy. I had to get outta there.
I was starting to lose my mind...
55
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,937
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Memo. I don't
need the whole pinche novella, okay?
56
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,522
- [players chattering]
- Losers first.
57
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,649
Go get 'em, slugger.
58
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:13,735
Oh!
59
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:15,485
Strike one!
60
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:18,739
- Little out of practice there, Memo?
- I don't think I was ever in practice.
61
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:22,159
What're you talking about? We used to
play all the time when we were little.
62
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,243
Ah!
63
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,412
[Miguel] Gotta keep your eyes
on the ball, Memo.
64
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:29,875
[Nandor] There it is. Every gang in the
tristate area is here. How delightful.
65
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,668
- [hisses]
- [Colin] Yeah. Looks like everyone
66
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,212
- came out to play.
- [Nandor] Salutations.
67
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,255
[Colin] The Warriors. Walter Hill. 1979.
68
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:36,341
Exciting.
69
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,636
- [Laszlo] What a turnout.
- [Nadja] Look up there. It's the Fly Guys.
70
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:44,306
[Nandor] Oh, wow. I haven't seen the
Lower East Side Vampire Punks
71
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,934
since one spat on me in 1983.
72
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,645
I was cool with it.
It's what we did back then.
73
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:53,023
- Hello, Hamptons vampires.
- Like, "Hampires."
74
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,150
- Stop it!
- I hate these dipshits.
75
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,611
But kinda makes you proud, you know?
76
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:58,862
Our people.
77
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:02,199
[chuckling] So, this is all for me?
78
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,160
- Baron Afanas, there you are.
- [Baron] Aw.
79
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,328
- Hi.
- Hello.
80
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,205
You look lovely tonight.
81
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,916
- [chuckles]
- I mean, you look lovely every night.
82
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,168
- We all look lovely tonight.
- Ugh.
83
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,420
- You included.
- Thank you.
84
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:18,257
All right. I'm just going to bring you
up to the stage,
85
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,467
- and then Jerry will introduce you.
- [growls]
86
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:23,095
- [Nandor] Jerry is here?
- Who Jerry?
87
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,347
Jerry's the one who put on
this whole event.
88
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,433
Look out, Manhattan all-girls
private-school vampires.
89
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:32,312
Vicious, ruthless killers,
both socially and in a murder sense.
90
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:33,689
What's up, girlies?
91
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,817
- [girls scoff, laugh]
- Ew.
92
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:37,944
- Hey!
- Told ya.
93
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,947
- Check one, check two.
- [Nandor] Cute.
94
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:42,698
Hello. Hi.
95
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,660
[Nandor] I can't believe this total zero
gets to introduce the Baron Afanas.
96
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,036
It doesn't seem right.
97
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:50,914
He hasn't even sucked him off,
let alone been nuts deep.
98
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,249
- [shushes]
- All right.
99
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,875
- Just be quiet.
- [Laszlo] You be quiet.
100
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,753
Can you count, suckers?
101
00:04:56,754 --> 00:05:00,299
- [vampires cheering]
- [horn blows]
102
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,134
[Jerry] Look around you.
103
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,845
Look at all these different vampires,
104
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,014
- all gathered together as one.
- [vampires cheer]
105
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,099
[Jerry] Yes. How about it?
106
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,351
We've got our
Coney Island colony vampires...
107
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:12,436
[vampires cheering, clapping]
108
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,063
[Jerry] ...side by side
with our leatherette vampires.
109
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:18,275
- We've got our Rockaway surfers...
- [horns blow]
110
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,194
[Jerry] ...right next
to our JFK TSA vampires.
111
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:26,575
- Thank you for your service!
- This city doesn't bleed without you all.
112
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,035
[vampires cheer]
113
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,620
- [Nandor] Yes!
- That's right! That's right, Jerry!
114
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:35,584
Tonight we've gathered to hear
from our esteemed leader...
115
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,462
- [vampires cheering]
- [Jerry] ...the great Baron Afanas.
116
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:43,425
Our supreme commander in charge
of our conquest of the New World.
117
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,802
[vampire 1] Yes, conquest!
118
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,015
At least, that was the plan, right?
119
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,185
- [cheering stops]
- Wasn't it? Taking over the New World?
120
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,312
- [vampires clamoring]
- [vampire 2 clears throat]
121
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:58,148
People feeling good about it?
I'm just asking questions. I don't know.
122
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:02,319
Maybe the Baron will be able to provide
some of these answers tonight.
123
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,114
Maybe there's a perfectly good explanation
124
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:10,619
for why we were sent here 250 years ago
to conquer the continent
125
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:14,040
and we still find ourselves cowering
in the shadows.
126
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:16,875
Do you have any answer for that?
127
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,960
- [Nandor] What's this shit?
- Do you know why?
128
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,004
- [vampire 3] When can we move on?
- Jerry.
129
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:23,173
That introduction I cannot live up to.
130
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:26,218
- Thank you, thank you.
- 'Cause here's what I wanna know.
131
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,179
- [Laszlo] What the fuck?
- [Jerry] Does the fault lie in ourselves?
132
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,432
Does it lie in our stars?
133
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,017
Or
134
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,895
- does it lie in our leadership?
- [crowd clamoring]
135
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,314
- [vampire 4] He has a point!
- I'm genuinely asking. I don't know.
136
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,982
- [The Guide] Hey, hey.
- [Laszlo] What the fuck
137
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,902
- is he talking about?
- Hey! Move! [grunts]
138
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,530
Gimme that.
How dare you disrespect this man?
139
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:47,614
[Laszlo] Hear, hear.
140
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:52,285
This is the great,
the beautiful Baron Afanas.
141
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:57,124
- [vampire 6] Yes! Yes!
- [crowd cheering]
142
00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:01,086
And this man,
this mixer of boiling hot feces,
143
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,004
he knows not of his place.
144
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:06,716
He's nothing but a sower
of discontent and disrespect.
145
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,510
- [grunts] Let me see that.
- [Laszlo] Hear, hear.
146
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,053
- [Nadja speaks Greek]
- Let me see that.
147
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:11,596
- No. No. No. Shut up!
- Hold on. Hold on.
148
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,516
- [monster growling]
- No. No, no, don't...
149
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,144
[crowd gasps]
150
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,814
- [whimpers]
- [Laszlo] Ah!
151
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,023
[monster groans]
152
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:24,693
- [Baron] Uh...
- Okay. And that was not my fault.
153
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,570
- [Nadja chuckles]
- [crowd clamoring]
154
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,363
- [monster growls]
- [vampire 5] Jerry was killed
155
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,157
- by that Frankenstein monster!
- [crowd clamoring]
156
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,284
It's Cravensworth's monster.
157
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,368
Run! Run!
158
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:37,122
They killed Jerry!
The Staten Island vampires killed Jerry!
159
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,541
- No we didn't.
- Kill them!
160
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,710
- [crowd booing]
- We should get the fuck out of here!
161
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,797
[crowd rioting]
162
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,845
[vampire 7] Kill them!
163
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,486
Fucking hell. How many bats are up there?
164
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,446
[Nadja] So flying home is not an option.
165
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:11,824
[Nandor] Where do we go,
what do we do and how do we do it?
166
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,535
We need to get home.
Which way is home? Is it north?
167
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,205
- I'm certain we are south.
- No. No, we're not. I'm feeling east.
168
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,915
You know I can't fly, you dicks.
169
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,292
[Nadja] Ah. Colin Robinson.
Do you know how to get home?
170
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,835
- No, I have no idea. I...
- [groans]
171
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:28,006
I never thought I'd ever say this,
but I think we need to call Gizmo.
172
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,842
- [Nadja] Ha! Yes.
- Yes, great idea.
173
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,261
Guillermo!
174
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:36,348
Not like that, you fucking idiot.
With the phone that he's doing.
175
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,974
I can also try echolocating.
176
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:41,269
- [vocalizes]
- Nadja, I'm on the phone!
177
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,188
[Miguel] Come one, man.
That's why you gotta concentrate.
178
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,648
[Guillermo] I was concentrating.
179
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:47,443
So this new job has
a documentary about it too?
180
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,404
No, it's actually the same documentary.
181
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:53,990
It just now follows a guy
who quits his old job
182
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:56,243
and goes out into the regular world.
183
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:59,996
Okay, word.
So it's like Sling Blade? But boring.
184
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:02,207
Know what, Miguel?
This is why I don't hang out with you.
185
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,833
You don't hang out
with any of the familia.
186
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,671
I don't because every time I do, they
make me feel guilty that I'm always busy.
187
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,090
This was a mistake. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go, okay?
188
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,134
Hey, hey. Come on, Memo.
I'm not mad at you, man.
189
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,804
We love you, all right? We were worried.
190
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,056
We never saw you.
You're out there on your own.
191
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,933
You never even talked
about having any friends.
192
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,977
Don't worry about me, okay?
I have plenty of friends.
193
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,063
Oh, really? That's great. Name me
one friend. Like, who's your best friend?
194
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,440
That would be, uh,
195
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,067
- Nandor.
- Nandor?
196
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,570
My... My boss. My ex-boss.
He's not my boss anymore.
197
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,405
[Miguel] So your best friend
is your former boss?
198
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,574
- [phone vibrating]
- I know, okay? It's complicated, but...
199
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,659
Wait.
200
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,410
Colin?
201
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,079
Wait, slow down. What?
202
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,874
[Miguel] Here we go, Mr. Drama Queen.
Just like always.
203
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,794
Every time we start to have fun, you all
of a sudden have an emergency somewhere.
204
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:50,088
- My friends need help. They're in danger.
- In danger?
205
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,675
It's gonna sound crazy,
but someone's trying to kill them.
206
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,719
- What the fuck?
- Just please let me go.
207
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,263
No, no. Fuck that.
I'm going with you, all right? Let's roll.
208
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,015
You don't even know them.
Why would you wanna come?
209
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,308
I don't need to know them, Memo.
210
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:04,186
You're my familia, all right?
I have to have your back. Let's go.
211
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,271
Okay.
212
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,648
An attack on your friends
is an attack on all of us.
213
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:09,941
Seat belt on.
214
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,819
Wait. You should know before we go
that my friends, they're...
215
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:13,904
they're not like
216
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,323
the regular people that you know.
217
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,785
Memo, will you chill out? I have gay
friends, all right? It's not a big deal.
218
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,497
[girls giggling]
219
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:27,167
And remember, when we find them, I get
dibs on killing the one
220
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,753
- with the really gross man bun.
- [girl 1] So cringe.
221
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,921
[girls laugh]
222
00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:34,341
- [girl 2] They're not here. Let's go.
- [girl 1] Okay, let's go.
223
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,885
[rumble]
224
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,347
- Okay.
- [cat growls]
225
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,140
That was not supposed to go that way.
226
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:45,393
I cannot believe that Jerry
betrayed the Baron like that.
227
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,771
As long as you are all right,
that's all that matters.
228
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,731
- Ugh.
- [The Guide] I have been serving Jerry
229
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,525
for months.
I feel so betrayed. I'm so sorry.
230
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:55,236
I hear you, I hear you.
You know, trust is essential...
231
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:58,448
Um... We're just gonna give you guys
a minute. Just give you some...
232
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,408
[Nandor]
Sounds like this Jerry does not get...
233
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:04,621
Laszlo, why did your monster flip
the fuck out and pop Jerry's head?
234
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,457
He was just performing
his duties as a protector.
235
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:11,628
Well then, how do I know that he might not
just flip out one day and pop my head?
236
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,171
No, my monster would never do that.
237
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:17,008
How could you be so sure?
Look at the mess that thing has created.
238
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:21,763
That lumbering, demented donkey of
a creature is clearly capable of anything.
239
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:26,518
No, no, no. He's not. My darling,
my monster would never hurt you.
240
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,186
I didn't want you to know,
241
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:32,358
but the sole objective of creating him
in the first place was to keep you safe.
242
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,067
What?
243
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:37,195
My darling, if anything were
to happen to me,
244
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,197
- you would be protected.
- [laughs]
245
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,408
- What?
- When have I ever needed protecting
246
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,575
from anything or anyone?
247
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,119
I knew you'd react like this.
248
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,870
For the record, my darling,
249
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,915
I was a vampire on my own for centuries
250
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,084
before you came along, Mr. Cravensworth.
251
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:55,964
I once ripped an entire pack of werewolves
to shreds with my bare fangs.
252
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,092
And then scattered their entrails
on the road, like a confetti.
253
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:03,431
- I've heard this story a thousand...
- Ah! A confetti.
254
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,435
[Laszlo] The skies are clear.
255
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,145
[The Guide] Let's try to get our bearings.
256
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,981
- [gaps] Look. Look down there.
- [chatter]
257
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:17,068
Athletes preparing for
a baseball game, at this hour?
258
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:20,655
They're not athletes, you tit.
They're the Bronx Bomber vampires.
259
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,031
Well, they're looking for us.
260
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:24,617
Good. Let's just take them on
and get this over with. [hisses]
261
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:25,994
No, we should cross the bridge.
262
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,245
- [Nandor] Okay.
- [Nadja scoffs]
263
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:31,207
- [Colin] Keep walking. Just keep walking.
- [The Guide] They're coming up here!
264
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,542
- [Nandor] What now?
- [Laszlo] Shit.
265
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,712
Oh, no.
It's the Meatpacking District vampires.
266
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,881
[Laszlo] As deadly as they are beautiful.
267
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,674
I wouldn't mind having my meat packed.
268
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,135
- This way, to the subway.
- [Nadja] Shut the fuck up.
269
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,512
- [Nandor] Flee! Down here!
- [Laszlo] We must run!
270
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,639
[Laszlo] Come on. Take cover fast!
271
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,183
[The Guide] Fuck, yeah. I see an entrance.
272
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,226
- [bats flutter]
- Come on. Hurry.
273
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,145
[The Guide] Does the subway even go
to Staten Island?
274
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,480
[Nandor] Stay close, Blondie.
275
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,606
- [Laszlo] What the fuck?
- [Nadja] Oh!
276
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,399
- [Nandor] Hey. What's this shit?
- [The Guide yelps]
277
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,610
- [Nadja] Great. Jumping vampires.
- [Laszlo] All right. Cool down.
278
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,819
[Nadja] Is it hat vampires?
279
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,405
- Fuck off. Fuck off.
- Oh, shit.
280
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,407
[Nadja] No. What are they?
281
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,825
These guys are the, uh...
282
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,076
[vampires hissing]
283
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,954
I don't actually know what kind
of vampires these are.
284
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,957
- Are they '80s vampires?
- Breakdance vampires?
285
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,294
No, I think they're
Fame the movie vampires,
286
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,213
or Fame the TV show vampires.
287
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:22,926
And the space suit fella
must represent MTV or something.
288
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,595
Well, then what's
with the Riverboat Gambler guy?
289
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,721
[Colin] They lost me there.
290
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,307
- I have no clue.
- You killed Jerry the vampire.
291
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,060
No, no. That was done by a random monster.
292
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,186
- [hisses]
- [The Guide] Uh-oh.
293
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,438
- Five, six, seven, eight.
- [The Guide] No!
294
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,357
- ["Planet Rock" plays]
- [Nandor] What's this shit?
295
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,317
- [The Guide] Ooh!
- [Nadja] Oh! Okay.
296
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:42,112
They're twinkle toe vampires. I got this.
297
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,155
[Nadja scoffs]
298
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,324
Have you ever seen feet move
at this medium pace?
299
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,284
- [Laszlo] All right.
- [Nandor] That's a nice one. Aha!
300
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,744
[The Guide] Oh.
301
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,871
- [Laszlo] Fuck off. [hisses]
- [Colin] Wow.
302
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:54,290
- [The Guide] It's really good.
- [Nandor] Not bad.
303
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,085
- Aw.
- [Laszlo] Fuck this shit.
304
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,878
- [vampires grunt]
- What? What?
305
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,672
- Okay.
- [Nadja] What the fuck?
306
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,006
[space man groans]
307
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,091
[Nadja] Fuck, Laszlo!
308
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,051
[Colin] They really weren't
that threatening.
309
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,469
- [Nadja] You idiot.
- [Laszlo giggles]
310
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,805
- [card vampire groans]
- [Colin] Well, he's dead.
311
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,807
- [Nandor] Full house.
- I was handling it.
312
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,891
- Sorry.
- [Nadja groans]
313
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,601
Let's just keep moving, all right?
314
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,686
We'll get above ground...
315
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,312
- Okay.
- ...so Guillermo can find us.
316
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:17,897
- [Nandor] Good idea.
- [Nadja] Whatever.
317
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,359
[Nandor] You know, I really like it
when you take charge.
318
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,948
[Miguel] No, no, no. Don't worry about
the address. I'll text when I get it.
319
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,701
Just gather 'em up.
Keep your phone on, all right? All right.
320
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,785
Who was that?
321
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:33,246
- Some friends. In case we need backup.
- [Guillermo] Backup?
322
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:36,416
You said your friends are gonna
get killed. I dunno what's gonna happen.
323
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,293
- Where are they, man?
- I don't know, okay?
324
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,795
Colin lost his location,
so maybe he lost reception.
325
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:43,882
- I can try calling again. I don't know.
- Are these people even real?
326
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,967
Are you kidding me right now?
Yes, they're real.
327
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,719
Why would I be doing this
if they're not real?
328
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,013
- I just had to check, man.
- Had to check? They're real, okay?
329
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,806
- [Guillermo] Don't worry.
- [Miguel] You're acting crazy.
330
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:54,768
They're my friends,
and they're vampires, so there's that.
331
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:58,605
- Did you just say they're vampires?
- Yeah. Actually, you met one of them.
332
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,607
- What?
- Yeah, but you attacked her.
333
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:01,941
- [Miguel] The fuck?
- You attacked her.
334
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,484
I think I would remember
something like that.
335
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,403
How could you? She hypnotized you.
336
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,947
How're you gonna remember, hmm?
337
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,787
- You know what, let's just keep driving.
- Yeah, let's keep driving.
338
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,372
- [phone rings]
- [Guillermo] Oh, it's Colin.
339
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,501
Hey, hey. Hi, Colin. Where are you?
340
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,921
[Colin] Okey dokey.
341
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,341
I just got off the phone with Gizmo
342
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,344
and gave him... [grunting] ...our locash.
343
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,553
You know, Laszlo,
344
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:34,098
I had those dancing vampire freaks
in the palm of my hands.
345
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:38,436
I do not need you
or your stupid monster to protect me.
346
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,813
Is that what you think?
347
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:45,944
My darling,
I did not train my monster to protect you
348
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,656
because I thought
you could not live without me.
349
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:54,119
I trained that monster
because I cannot live without you.
350
00:15:56,705 --> 00:16:00,708
Laszlo, I cannot live without you.
351
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:04,587
But if something was to happen to you,
and I was to lose you,
352
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:07,423
it wouldn't be your protection
I would miss.
353
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:08,925
It would be you.
354
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:12,638
Your looks, the layers in your hairs.
Your wit.
355
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,849
And the way you use
that extremely large hog.
356
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:22,397
- And that cannot be taught. [laughs]
- [giggling] No, it can't.
357
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,274
Aw. They're being sweet again.
358
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,401
- Yes.
- [Nadja] The way that...
359
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,445
Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?
360
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,864
Think about what?
361
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,033
Well, isn't it obvious?
362
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,788
I have been searching for love
for so very long,
363
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,999
and it was right here the whole time.
364
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,751
Right under my nose.
365
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,046
In... In front of my nose.
366
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,009
- Me?
- You.
367
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,094
[groans] Ugh.
368
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,638
- So, I've watched your search for love.
- Mmm-hmm.
369
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,724
- This one, that one.
- Hmm.
370
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,225
- Your dead wife.
- Yeah.
371
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,310
- Guillermo's boyfriend.
- Freddie.
372
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:05,481
Gail. I mean, basically, anyone
and everyone who wasn't me.
373
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:08,151
And I've seen after you won their hearts.
374
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,278
- It all falls apart.
- [owls cooing]
375
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:14,073
Because you're all
about the conquest, not the victory.
376
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:17,661
You're a good friend,
but you will never have me.
377
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,455
Ever.
378
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,584
Sorry, could you run that by me again?
[chuckles] I completely zoned out.
379
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,920
I got ever so lost in those big,
380
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,548
- beautiful blue eyes of yours.
- [door opens]
381
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,550
[The Guide] I said you'll never have me.
382
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,763
I have a little bit of self-respect.
A little... [chuckling] ...bit.
383
00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:38,222
- [Nandor] I feel so ready for love.
- Okay.
384
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,641
- Um... Wait a minute. What is that?
- Hey.
385
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,226
- [Nadja] Laszlo.
- [Laszlo] Oh, shit.
386
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,146
- [Nandor] What the fuck?
- [Laszlo] Graveyard vampires.
387
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,732
- [graveyard vampires hissing]
- Well, you hang out in a graveyard,
388
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,610
you can expect spooky crap like this.
389
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,444
[Nadja] Oh, bloody fuck.
390
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,154
- [Nandor] Should we...
- There's too many of them.
391
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,448
- Run while you can.
- Yes, yes. Come on, Laszlo.
392
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,532
- This way.
- Yes.
393
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,951
Come on, you skull fucks. [shouts]
394
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,329
[Nandor] Here. Quick! Shit.
395
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,498
[all hissing and growling]
396
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,333
[Laszlo] Come on, do your worst.
397
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,543
Fucking hell. Ah!
398
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,713
- [hisses]
- [camera man] No, no, no! Wait!
399
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,299
No. Fuck off.
400
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,176
[Laszlo] Ah! I see you know
your judo well.
401
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:16,844
- Laszlo!
- It's all right, my darling.
402
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:20,348
- I'll be right back.
- I'm coming! Hang your cape on that.
403
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,141
[Laszlo] Get your hands off me.
404
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:24,978
[grunts] Motherfucker!
405
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,023
- [The Guide] Ooh.
- [Nandor]
406
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,652
Nadja! There's some over here too.
407
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,697
[Nadja] All right. Who's next?
I can do this all night long.
408
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,949
[Nadja grunts]
409
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,409
- [Nandor groans] Get the fuck out.
- [The Guide] Oh.
410
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,663
- [Laszlo] Help me up. [grunts]
- [Nandor] Laszlo.
411
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,915
- Where's my wife?
- She's over there.
412
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:49,086
- [The Guide] Okay. Very good aim. Wow!
- [Laszlo chuckles]
413
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:51,504
Look at my gruesome girl go.
414
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,840
It's like front-row at a Gallagher show.
415
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,383
[Nandor] I think maybe he's dead.
416
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,802
I will say when he's dead.
417
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,097
Very impressive. But I think there
might be more vampires on the way.
418
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,141
- Perhaps we should get out of here.
- In a minute!
419
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,268
Okay.
420
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:07,478
[sighs]
421
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:08,564
Now we can go.
422
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,066
[Nandor] Great. Let's do that.
423
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,867
[Nadja sighs]
424
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,994
- Do you want a straw?
- Nope.
425
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,329
[Nadja] You think that
maybe we should order coffee drinks...
426
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,582
Thank you.
...so we don't look like a bunch of vampires
427
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,709
sat around
waiting for our familiar to save us?
428
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,753
We can all be here
without everyone ordering coffee.
429
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:35,131
And we can stay at the table
as long as we want.
430
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,341
And when it comes to the bathrooms,
431
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,468
- legally, it's Thunderdome.
- [Guillermo] Hey.
432
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,345
- [The Guide, Nandor] Guillermo!
- [Nadja] Oh, finally.
433
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,222
- [Colin] Hey, Gomez.
- You took your sweet time.
434
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:47,143
- Nadja, you all right? You have a little...
- Covered in brain and blood and guts.
435
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,603
Yes. Thank you for noticing.
436
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:51,564
So, your vampire friends,
they hang out at coffee shops? [chuckles]
437
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,025
Hey, look, no offense.
I love the costumes, man.
438
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,819
You turn your mom's rug into a dress?
That's pretty cool. [chuckles]
439
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,739
But you guys really think you're vampires?
440
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:02,366
[Guillermo] No, Nandor. Don't hurt him.
That's my cousin, Miguel.
441
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,327
- [laughs]
- No kidding.
442
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,663
You are the famous Miguel.
We've heard lots about you.
443
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,248
[breathing shakily] What the fuck?
444
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,876
Guillermo tells us you're very tough
and very cool
445
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,587
and once locked him
in a cupboard for six hours.
446
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,631
- Put it there.
- Don't need to fist bump on that.
447
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,008
Sorry about that. Straighten that for you.
448
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,135
- You guys kill people?
- No shit, Kojak.
449
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,511
Chillax, Miguel.
450
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:25,264
'Cause a member of Guillermo's family
is a member of our family.
451
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,724
- Right, guys?
- [Laszlo] Right.
452
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,060
- "Vamilia."
- Nadnor! I have a Nadnor.
453
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,269
Is that for you, Nandor?
454
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:33,522
No, she is calling someone called Nadnor.
Also, I have not ordered anything, so...
455
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:38,486
- I have one roundhouse kick for a Nandor.
- Yes. I am Nan...
456
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,946
[grunts, hisses]
457
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,531
How quaint. A barista vampire.
458
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:45,910
We're not barista vampires.
We're artist and writer vampires
459
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,704
who happen
to currently be working as baristas.
460
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,790
- And graphic designer vampires.
- [hisses]
461
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,875
- Hi. I'm Cass.
- Hi, Cass.
462
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:56,087
- Personal essayist vampire, Louie, here.
- [hisses]
463
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,715
- Got a shot for Nandor.
- That's me. Yes.
464
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,549
- [Laszlo laughs]
- Fucking guy.
465
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:02,843
My mistake.
That was supposed to be a double-shot.
466
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:03,928
[Miguel growls]
467
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,012
- Whoa, whoa.
- Oh, shit.
468
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:07,556
Oh, Forgot to mention. You have
Van Helsing blood running through you.
469
00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,933
- What?
- [Guillermo] It's a long story.
470
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,268
I'll tell you later, okay?
471
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,352
[Guillermo grunts]
472
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:14,480
[all grunts, hissing]
473
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:15,732
[Laszlo] Bat.
474
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:20,529
Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
It's because I said the word "bat."
475
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:24,700
- And I've done it again. I meant to say...
- [Guillermo] Miguel.
476
00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:27,661
Should we get involved?
477
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,372
You know, I forgot
how stroppy Gizmo can be
478
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,291
when he gets a bit of a bee in his bonnet.
479
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,709
[Guillermo] Ooh.
480
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,669
- [Miguel] Steam.
- [Cass screaming]
481
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,795
"Vampuccino."
482
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,464
I will fucking kill you.
483
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,678
Ah! Ooh. Very good.
484
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:46,762
[Miguel grunts]
485
00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:47,888
[barista vampire groans]
486
00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:50,433
[Colin] Almost there.
Keep reaching, Gizmo.
487
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,811
- [Guillermo grunts]
- [Louie growls, grunts]
488
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,479
- [Guillermo grunts]
- [Laszlo] Nice shot.
489
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,648
- Ooh. Dead. Very good.
- [The Guide] Guillermo.
490
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:58,733
- We should go.
- [Nadja] Yes.
491
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,484
- [motorbikes whirring]
- [Laszlo] What the fuck is that?
492
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,820
Just some homeys of mine. I called them
in case we were outnumbered.
493
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:06,866
[Miguel] Here they come.
Hell, yeah! Donny brought the spiral.
494
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,327
- [Laszlo] Fancy a ride, my darling?
- [The Guide] Hello.
495
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,578
[Guillermo] We gotta go.
496
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,038
[Colin] This one? Hold on, hold on.
497
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,415
- [Miguel] Get in, man.
- [Nadja] Colin Robinson!
498
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,959
Let's go. We have to go.
499
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,129
[Nandor] I don't want to get
my cape caught.
500
00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:27,970
[Nandor] Ah.
501
00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,347
- [Nadja] Oh, Home.
- [Laszlo] Oh, yes.
502
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:30,681
- [Nadja] We're home.
- [Colin] Doggy.
503
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:31,766
- [Nandor] Oh!
- Well, well...
504
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:32,975
- [Nadja] Baron!
- ...well, well.
505
00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:34,393
[The Guide] You're okay!
506
00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:35,644
Look who came home!
507
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:37,980
Baron, how did you get back so fast?
508
00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:42,818
Did you know that Staten Island
has an above-ground train?
509
00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:44,653
- It's actually quite pleasant.
- [Nandor] Hey...
510
00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:49,909
And it gave me a chance to open up
that Louise Penny I have on audiobook.
511
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:52,120
- Love her.
- [Baron] She's okay. But a quick question.
512
00:22:52,829 --> 00:22:54,747
What the hell were you thinking?
513
00:22:54,748 --> 00:22:57,124
Why did you kill Jerry the Vampire?
514
00:22:57,125 --> 00:23:01,712
B-Because, Baron, Jerry was a huge threat
to your almighty power.
515
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:03,048
Yes.
516
00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:06,009
Which is why I wanted to kill him myself
517
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,636
in front of everyone
518
00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,055
to reassert my power.
519
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:15,518
Do you honestly think that I did not know
this insipid gathering was a trap?
520
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,186
- [gasps]
- You knew?
521
00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:18,813
[Baron] Of course I knew.
522
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,941
I didn't know Jerry was the enemy, Baron.
523
00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:23,651
But that is no excuse.
524
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:25,570
I have dishonored myself.
525
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,490
But even worse, I have dishonored you.
526
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:31,951
I will now take my own life.
527
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:34,829
- No. No!
- [The Guide whimpers] No, let me...
528
00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:37,206
- [Nandor] No, I will not. [grunts]
- [Colin] Let her.
529
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:40,167
- Baron, take my life instead.
- [Colin] Do it.
530
00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:43,337
- [Nadja] Huh.
- Hold on here. Are you two a thing?
531
00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:45,256
- No. Not at all.
- It's early days.
532
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,049
Get up. We're going to run out of vampires
533
00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:48,676
- at this rate.
- [monster growling]
534
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:50,678
- [Laszlo] What the blazes...
- [all scream]
535
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,972
- [monster grunts, growls]
- [Nadja gasps]
536
00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:54,515
- [Nandor mumbles]
- Gift.
537
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:57,435
[Nadja] Oh. Jerry's crushed head.
Thank you.
538
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,228
- Very nice.
- [giggles]
539
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:01,397
- You can just lay that down there.
- [monster groans]
540
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:04,191
I will find somewhere lovely for it later.
541
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:06,444
- Now, we all have much organizing...
- Good job.
542
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,279
...to do for tomorrow evening.
543
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,531
To set this right.
544
00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:13,033
{\an8}[Baron] Here we are again.
545
00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:16,370
Jerry tried to tear us apart.
546
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:19,373
But we, unlike Jerry,
547
00:24:19,374 --> 00:24:21,750
will work as one.
548
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:24,378
- [Laszlo, Nandor, The Guide] Yes.
- [Baron] For it will take all of us,
549
00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:26,964
all vampires,
550
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:30,259
to bring the humans of this new world
551
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:33,137
under our dominion.
552
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:36,223
- [vampires] Yes!
- Any questions?
553
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:37,433
[vampires clamor]
554
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:39,143
- Ha.
- [monster growling]
555
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,228
[grunts]
556
00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:45,065
[vampires clamor]
557
00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:48,277
Okay. Anybody else? Let's see.
There was someone...
558
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,445
Ah. You.
559
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:50,696
[monster growls]
560
00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:52,324
[Baron] Did you have a question?
561
00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:55,493
- Uh, nope.
- [Baron] Are you sure?
562
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:58,329
Because I thought I saw your hand go up.
563
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,413
[monster growls]
564
00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:03,376
I thought I had a... had a question
but then y-you answered it.
565
00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:06,003
Just as I thought.
566
00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:07,088
[monster growls]
567
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,590
Vampires dismissed.
568
00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:11,509
- [vampires clamor]
- [monster snarks]
569
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:12,801
[Baron] Two nights out in a row.
570
00:25:12,802 --> 00:25:15,430
The Sire's never gonna
let me hear the end of this.
46456
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