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1
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,668
Honey, I think that tomorrow...
2
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,211
Please!
3
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,472
I'm sorry, honey,
I didn't mean...
4
00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,893
What's the matter with you?
5
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,061
Are you crazy or something?
6
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,230
You want the baby to keep
us awake again tonight?
7
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,983
I'm sorry, dear,
I guess I wasn't thinking.
8
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,234
If I don't get some sleep soon,
9
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,652
I don't know what
I'm going to do.
10
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,487
Well, honey, we'll keep
our fingers crossed.
11
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,281
Maybe we won't hear
a peep out of him tonight.
12
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,824
Well, I hope not.
13
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,409
And, honey, listen,
if he does wake up,
14
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,994
I'd certainly appreciate it
15
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,996
if you'd get up
and take care of him.
16
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,581
- Sure, honey, I will.
- Okay.
17
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,915
Come on, let's go to bed.
18
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,166
What?!
19
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,751
Oh, Ricky,
20
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,878
I'm simply asking
if the baby wake up
21
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,715
that you get up
and take care of him.
22
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,174
Well, honey, I know
it's a lot of hard work
23
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,385
taking care of the baby,
24
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,637
but that's what mothers are for.
25
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,724
Oh, and what are fathers for?
26
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,226
Well, the father
is the breadwinner.
27
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,979
See, the father is supposed
to get his rest at night
28
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,397
so he can get up
fresh in the morning,
29
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,190
go out into the world
30
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,651
and make money
for his family.
31
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,238
You wouldn't tell me the rules
before the game started.
32
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,411
The next time we have a baby,
I get to be the father.
33
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,290
Now, don't try to be funny.
34
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,834
I'm not trying to be funny.
35
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,669
You just don't know
how tired I am.
36
00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:11,465
You don't care
anything about me.
37
00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,883
Oh, honey, I do,
honestly I do.
38
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,678
Then will you get up
and take care of him?
39
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,681
Isn't there some kind
of a compromise?
40
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,016
Look, I'll tell you what--
41
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,601
Maybe the baby
won't cry at all.
42
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,561
But if he does,
whoever hears him first
43
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,356
will get up, keep him quiet
so the other one can sleep.
44
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,398
Now, is that fair?
45
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,359
All right, you got a deal.
46
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,526
Okay.
47
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,195
Come on, let's go to bed.
48
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:45,684
All right, you out-snored me,
you big phony.
49
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,734
Shh, shh, shh.
50
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,319
It's all right, honey,
it's all right.
51
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,280
It's all right, baby.
52
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,074
That's okay, that's okay, honey.
53
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,371
Shh.
54
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,067
Lucy!
55
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,831
Lucy, honey, wake up!
56
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,875
What's the matter? Baby cry?
57
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,835
Don't get up, dear,
I'll get him.
58
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,296
Honey, it's morning.
59
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,964
Oh, oh.
60
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,299
Straighten up.
61
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:02,385
Uh... oh, I can't.
62
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,971
Lower the side of the crib.
63
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,348
Huh? Oh.
64
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,148
What time is it?
65
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,775
It's 10:00.
66
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,319
Oh, I got to get
your breakfast.
67
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,321
Hey, honey, wait. Honey!
68
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,990
Honey, please don't...
don't worry about my breakfast.
69
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,742
Come on, you got to get
some rest.
70
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:26,952
All right.
71
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,370
Listen, tonight
I'm going to make sure
72
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,704
you go to bed real early.
73
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,998
Oh, no, we're going to play
bridge with the Mertzes.
74
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,333
Oh, no, no,
I'll call that off.
75
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:38,171
Oh, no, don't do that,
that's all the fun I have.
76
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,173
I'll be all right.
77
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:43,510
All I need is a little sleep.
78
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,719
All I ask...
79
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,522
Well, are you all set to play...
80
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:42,277
[Ricky] Honey, I don't seem
to be able to find
81
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,863
the card...
82
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,327
No use trying to play tonight.
83
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,412
- No.
- She's really bushed, isn't she?
84
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,707
Yes. I guess taking care
of the house and the baby
85
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,460
is a little bit
too much for her.
86
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:02,088
Well, taking care of a
little baby's no easy job.
87
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,507
Well... You know what
I was thinking, Ethel?
88
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,592
What?
89
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:08,136
I ought to get Lucy a maid.
90
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,096
A maid? Oh, Ricky,
that's wonderful.
91
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:13,433
Well, it's a big expense,
but she can't go on this way.
92
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,519
So you're thinking of
getting Lucy a maid, huh?
93
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,147
Hey, that idea might be a good
thing for us, too.
94
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,608
Why, Fred, are you thinking
of getting me a maid?
95
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,945
Nope. I'm thinking of
hiring you out to the Ricardos.
96
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,949
Lucy, honey...
97
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,200
wake up.
98
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,410
Three, no trump!
99
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,704
We haven't started playing yet.
100
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,164
Oh, hi.
101
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,582
- Hi.
- Hi.
102
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,210
And, honey, you know
what we just decided?
103
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,670
I'm going to get you a maid.
104
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,255
[Ethel] Isn't that wonderful,
Lucy? A maid!
105
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,257
I must still be asleep.
106
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,260
I thought you said you
were going to get me a maid.
107
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,888
I did, honey.
You can't go on this way.
108
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,264
You need some help.
109
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:56,726
Oh, Ricky, you're the most
wonderful husband in the world!
110
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,269
Oh, honey!
111
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,315
Gee, just think, honey,
112
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,152
this is the last breakfast
I'll ever have to serve.
113
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,155
What time is the
first maid coming out?
114
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,117
Well, the agency said
she'd be here about 10:00.
115
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,202
What do you mean,
the first maid?
116
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,413
Well, honey, you have to talk
to three or four of them
117
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,664
before you can decide.
118
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,250
Oh, anybody the agency sends out
ought to be all right.
119
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,501
Now, wait a minute, honey.
120
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,253
I don't want you
to get started wrong.
121
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,630
I want you to handle this
like a real businesswoman.
122
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,132
Well...
123
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:30,051
You got to ask her questions,
find out something about her.
124
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,720
Oh, I don't know.
125
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,097
Honey, why don't you stay
around and interview her?
126
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,224
Well, I can't, honey.
I got to go to rehearsal.
127
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,726
Well, I've never
interviewed one before.
128
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,227
What do I ask her?
129
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,354
Well, you got to ask her,
uh...
130
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,064
where she worked before,
131
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,357
why she left,
132
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:48,987
if she's a good cook,
if she knows how to serve...
133
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,994
if she's got a catcher's mitt.
134
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,413
Well, couldn't I just hire her,
135
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,499
and hope that everything
works out all right?
136
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:02,876
Now, now, now, wait a minute.
137
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,211
The most important thing
in hiring anybody
138
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,005
is to establish the relationship
139
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,716
- right from the start.
- Oh.
140
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,718
You've got to be firm.
141
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,136
Let her know who's
working for who.
142
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,929
- Oh. -Yeah, don't give her
too much time off.
143
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,306
Make sure she understands
144
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,600
what her hours are
and what her duties are.
145
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,351
Be tough.
146
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,067
Well, I better go.
147
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,401
I'll call you later,
see how you made out.
148
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,903
- Okay.
- Bye.
149
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,588
- Hey...
-
150
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,091
Oh, Ethel.
151
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,094
I was practicing
interviewing the maid.
152
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,261
Oh.
153
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,056
Ricky said that I
should be firm with her.
154
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,808
Well, what are you
going to say?
155
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,059
Well, I...
Here, you be the maid.
156
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:05,271
Now, first, I want
to get a look at you.
157
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,028
Eh.
158
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:16,157
Now, I want you to understand
just what kind of a job this is.
159
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,659
It's no cinch.
160
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,285
You'll cook and clean,
do the laundry and the ironing
161
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:21,830
and help take
care of the baby.
162
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,457
You'll have Thursdays off
and Sunday afternoons only.
163
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,458
I expect you here
at 8:00 in the morning
164
00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:28,878
and you mustn't leave
until after 8:30 at night.
165
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,130
Do you understand?
166
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,258
Hey, that was good,
you were real firm.
167
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,467
Well, it's the only way.
168
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,845
You see, you have to establish
the relationship
169
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:37,971
right from the start.
170
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,223
There she is.
171
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,891
Well, I'll see you later.
Now, be firm.
172
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,101
Yeah.
173
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,366
Good morning, I am from
the employment agency.
174
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,784
Are you Mrs. Ricardo?
175
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:00,910
Yes.
176
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:13,089
Uh, there are a few
things that I think that...
177
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:19,971
First there are some things
that I think we should discuss.
178
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,347
That's right.
179
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,974
Now, I must have
Wednesday afternoons off
180
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,350
and every weekend.
181
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:27,061
I can't possibly come before
9:00 in the morning,
182
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,189
and I must leave
before 7:00 at night.
183
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,231
Oh.
184
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,984
Of course, you have
an automatic dishwasher?
185
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,569
No, we don't.
186
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,237
A dryer?
187
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,655
No.
188
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,992
Uh, but we have a...
we have a garbage disposal
189
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,660
and a washing machine.
190
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,495
Well...
191
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,457
And a television set,
21-inch screen.
192
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,292
I'll take the job.
193
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,170
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
194
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:55,006
May I help you
off with your coat?
195
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,799
Yes.
196
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,885
Oh, that's a very pretty hat.
197
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:02,054
Yes. Well, now I'll see
what I've gotten myself into.
198
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,556
Oh, yes, go right ahead.
199
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,350
Just don't wake up the baby.
200
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,727
Baby?!
201
00:12:08,852 --> 00:12:11,064
Well, he's just a little one.
202
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:14,234
He, he really isn't
very much trouble.
203
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,861
Who takes care of him?
204
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,074
I do?
205
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,408
Including his laundry?
206
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,452
Oh, yes, yes, I do
everything for him.
207
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,913
I take full charge
of the baby, always.
208
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,373
Oh, well, that's all right.
209
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,374
Yes.
210
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,625
Where's the kitchen?
211
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,708
In there.
212
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,670
Oh, I forgot,
what is your name?
213
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:34,754
Mrs. Porter.
214
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,756
Oh, and what do I call you?
215
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,508
Mrs. Porter.
216
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,403
Ricardos' residence.
217
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,405
Huh? Just a minute.
218
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:04,284
Are you in to a Mrs. Mertz?
219
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,160
Ask her which Mrs. Mertz.
220
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,621
Which Mrs. Mertz?
221
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,833
The one you owe
two months' rent to.
222
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,628
Hello, Ethel.
223
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,297
Oh, this is Mrs. Mertz'
scullery girl.
224
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,758
I'll ask the downstairs maid
to ask the upstairs maid
225
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,510
if madame can talk to you.
226
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,636
All right, all right.
227
00:13:24,761 --> 00:13:25,679
How you doing?
228
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,682
Well, it isn't exactly
229
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,475
the way I dreamed about it.
230
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,977
What's the matter?
231
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,730
Oh, I'll come down later
and tell you about it.
232
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,315
She's fixing my lunch now.
233
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,316
Fixing your lunch?
234
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,650
That doesn't sound bad.
235
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,820
Well, I think maybe
it'll work out all right.
236
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,989
I'll be down later. Good-bye.
237
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:43,990
Lunch is ready.
238
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,451
Oh, all right.
239
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,208
Well, you don't want me
to bring it in there, do you?
240
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,337
Oh. Oh, no, of course not.
241
00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,965
I'll eat in the kit... uh,
in the breakfast nook.
242
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:25,907
What's the matter?
243
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,785
Don't you like
peanut butter sandwiches?
244
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,162
Oh, yes. Yes, I like them
very much as a rule, but...
245
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,914
I tell you what,
I think I'd rather have
246
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,208
some of that roast beef
that's in the refrigerator.
247
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,835
That snivelly little leftover?
248
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,588
Why, there was half a roast...
249
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,257
Oh, yeah, that was the one.
250
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,094
Why, it hardly made
a good mouthful.
251
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,432
Well, there's a head
of lettuce, if I could...
252
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,768
If I didn't have the salad,
I'd have starved to death.
253
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,319
There's some jelly up in the...
254
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,530
All gone?
255
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,034
Some milk?
256
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,702
All gone?
257
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,622
Well, I've got to eat, too,
you know.
258
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,749
Oh, I know, I know.
259
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,709
Yes, of course, surely.
260
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,564
That's the way to eat
a peanut butter sandwich.
261
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,442
That's what's good for you--
262
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,110
A nice, pure
263
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,238
thick peanut butter
on dry bread.
264
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,241
Good, huh?
265
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:51,117
I'll make you another one.
266
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,035
I'll make you another one.
267
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,144
Hi.
268
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,645
Oh, pardon my
answering the door
269
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,230
dressed like this,
your highness.
270
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:21,439
If you'll excuse me, I'll
go put on a formal gown.
271
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,858
If you'll excuse me, I'll
go put on a formal gown.
272
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,860
Oh, shut up.
273
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,778
What's the matter?
274
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:31,866
Oh, Ethel, let's face it,
I'm not the type to have a maid.
275
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,119
Some people are cut out
for champagne and caviar.
276
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,830
I'm more the beer
and pretzel type.
277
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,248
What's the matter?
What happened?
278
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,750
Oh, she walks all over me.
279
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:43,461
She gets most of the time off,
I have to take care of the baby,
280
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,921
I have to do his laundry,
281
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,006
and she's eating me
out of house and home.
282
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,132
What am I going to do?
283
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,009
That's easy, fire her.
284
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,428
Fire her? Oh, I don't know.
285
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,930
Well, you certainly
can't keep her.
286
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,098
You just said you're not
the type to have a maid.
287
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,726
Well, I'm not the type
to fire one, either.
288
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,021
Lucy Ricardo, are you
afraid of the maid?
289
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,065
Afraid? Me?
290
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,150
Yes!
291
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,363
Lucy, you go right
up there and fire her.
292
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,616
Come on, now,
who's the boss?
293
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,951
You or her?
294
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,577
I am.
295
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,746
- Who gives the orders?
- I do.
296
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,580
Well, are you going
to let someone,
297
00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:23,459
a stranger, someone you pay
money to, boss you around?
298
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,002
I should say not!
299
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,963
Well, what are you
going to do about it?
300
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,422
I'm going to go
right up there
301
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,215
and tell her
she's through right now.
302
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,634
I'll show her who's the boss.
303
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,052
She's got a lot of nerve.
304
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:35,846
Mrs. Porter.
305
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:36,931
Yes?
306
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,600
May I see you for a moment?
307
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,479
Mrs. Porter, there's something
I'd like to say to you.
308
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,855
Well?
309
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,193
Uh, could I have glass
of water, please?
310
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,208
Thank you.
311
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,013
Mrs. Porter!
312
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,766
Well?
313
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,185
Could I have some
more water, please?
314
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,563
Well, you haven't
finished that.
315
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,607
Oh.
316
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,198
I guess I'm kind of thirsty
from all that peanut butter.
317
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:18,991
Oh, hi, honey.
318
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,993
How's my lady of leisure?
319
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,244
All rested up, huh?
320
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:23,496
No.
321
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,247
Why, what's the matter?
322
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,666
I don't like having a maid.
323
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,459
I'm just not cut out for it,
Ricky.
324
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,169
I feel like I'm working for her.
325
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,755
That's worse than doing
all the work myself.
326
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,840
Well, we only got her
327
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,676
because we thought it was
going to be good for you.
328
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,177
If you don't like her,
we'll let her go.
329
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,721
We'll fire her, huh?
330
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:41,888
Sure.
331
00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:43,265
Good. I'll go down
and see Ethel,
332
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,434
and after you fire her, call me.
333
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,936
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
334
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,021
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
335
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:52,316
This is your project--
you hire her, you fire her.
336
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,694
Oh, I tried to
and I couldn't.
337
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,028
Well, why not?
338
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,613
I got waterlogged.
339
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,698
Huh?
340
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,701
You'll do it for me,
won't you, Ricky?
341
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,452
Honey, I haven't
even met her.
342
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,705
Well, that's perfect.
I'll introduce you.
343
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,124
I'll say, "Mrs. Porter,
this is my husband."
344
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,959
You say, "How do you do?
You're fired."
345
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:11,335
Now don't be silly.
346
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,630
I told you I want you to run
this house like a business.
347
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,132
Well, if you're afraid...
348
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,801
Me? Afraid?
349
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,808
Why, I could go in there right
now and fire her just like that.
350
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,393
Well, go ahead.
351
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:30,604
I will, I'll tell her,
go right in there now.
352
00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:42,199
That's telling her.
353
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,662
Well, I was waiting
for you to introduce me.
354
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:47,830
Oh, sure.
355
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,665
Besides, if we don't
lower our voices,
356
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:52,752
nobody will have to tell
her-- she'll hear us.
357
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,462
Hey... hey, that's it.
358
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,297
- What?
- Um...
359
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,548
It's too bad,
360
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,759
but I think we're going to have
to let Mrs. Porter go!
361
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:03,012
Did you say we have
to let Mrs. Porter go?!
362
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:06,015
Yes, I'm going to let her go
right after dinner!
363
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,017
It just isn't working out.
364
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,603
Well, I guess you have
to let Mrs. Porter go, then.
365
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,229
Yes. Um, I'm going
to let her go,
366
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,607
but I'm going to give her
a good recommendation
367
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,192
and a week's pay.
A whole week.
368
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:17,693
A good recommendation.
369
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:18,944
A week's pay.
370
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,362
A good recommendation!
371
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:29,205
Mrs. Porter, what
are you doing here?
372
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:33,209
I went out to empty some trash
and the back door locked me out.
373
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:37,129
I knocked, but with all that
yelling, nobody could hear me.
374
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,050
You must have had some fight.
375
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:55,397
- Hi.
- Hi.
376
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:56,898
What's the matter?
377
00:21:57,023 --> 00:21:59,819
Oh, I can't stand it
upstairs with that maid,
378
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:02,821
and I haven't got
the nerve to fire her.
379
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,073
Well, somebody's
got to fire her.
380
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:06,200
Yeah.
381
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,788
Ethel, will you...
382
00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,790
No!
383
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:17,711
Guess there's not much chance
that she'll quit, huh?
384
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:21,257
With an easy job like
that, why should she quit?
385
00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:23,259
Yeah.
386
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:26,846
Hey, wait a minute-- what if she
didn't have such an easy job?
387
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,056
What if she had to work her head
off cleaning up all the time?
388
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,683
Yeah.
389
00:22:30,808 --> 00:22:32,768
How can we make my apartment
look like a pigpen?
390
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,186
Oh, that's easy--
let Fred stay there for a while.
391
00:22:35,311 --> 00:22:38,691
No, come on, now,
help me, what can we do?
392
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,734
Well, let's see...
I could have Fred
393
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,070
bring up a lot of junk
from the basement.
394
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,364
Tell him to bring up
everything that's messy.
395
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:46,907
- Okay. -Let's see,
then we have to wait
396
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,325
until Mrs. Porter
goes marketing,
397
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,785
and then we'll
mess the place up.
398
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:51,412
And after she gets it all
cleaned up,
399
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,205
we'll say we get it
that dirty every day.
400
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:54,455
That ought to do it.
401
00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:56,292
That ought to do it,
yes, sir.
402
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:57,792
Oh, hurry up. Come on!
403
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:19,815
How does it look?
404
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:22,276
Oh, boy, that's
beginning to look good.
405
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,487
How you doing
in the kitchen?
406
00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:26,530
Oh, fine.
407
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,240
I made a paste out
of peanut butter
408
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,407
and mustard and molasses
409
00:23:29,532 --> 00:23:31,577
and I smeared it over
everything out there.
410
00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:33,412
Oh, this I got to see.
411
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:34,496
Come on and look at it.
412
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,499
I really did a fine job,
wait till you see it.
413
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,585
Oh, no, oh... oh, Ethel.
414
00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:41,503
Isn't that great?
415
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:45,049
Oh, I wouldn't believe
it if I didn't see it.
416
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:47,176
Oh, look at that.
417
00:23:47,301 --> 00:23:48,636
Oh!
418
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:53,349
Well, let's see now.
419
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:54,975
We forget anything?
420
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,854
Well, we could always throw
a dead horse in the corner.
421
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:01,815
- Hey, hey!
- What?
422
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,567
I found these old
feather pillows. Here.
423
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:05,194
- What are they for?
- What are they for?
424
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:06,987
Why, to spread the feathers
around, of course.
425
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,238
How do you go about
doing that?
426
00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:09,490
Well, there's only one way.
427
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:10,866
Oh!
428
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,588
Hey, what's going on here?
429
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:27,715
Hey, are you crazy
or something?
430
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,969
What are you doing?
431
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,388
It's a scheme to
make Mrs. Porter quit.
432
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,974
Oh, no.
433
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:35,891
What's the matter?
434
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:37,351
Well, I felt sorry for you,
435
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:39,895
so I called her up an hour ago
and I fired her.
436
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:02,542
Mrs. Porter
was played by Verna Felton.
437
00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:24,523
I Love Lucy
is a Desilu Production.
30701
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