All language subtitles for I.Love.Lucy.S02E22.No.Children.Allowed.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Aw, come on, sweetie,
what's the matter?

You've had your bottle.

There aren't any pins
sticking in you.

You're dry as a bone.

What's troubling you?

Lucy? Lucy?

Lucy, what's the matter?

I don't know.

You mind if I try?

Be my guest.

Now, you just come
on to your Aunt Ethel.

-
- You settle right dow...

What's that?

Mrs. Trumbull upstairs.

She's been doing that
all night.

I guess she's mad
because Ricky's crying.

Oh, Mrs. Trumbull's such
a sweet old lady.

I can't imagine her
getting that mad.

She must be hanging pictures.

On the floor?

Aw, now, don't you pay
any attention to that old crank.

You just settle down now

and stop your crying.

Hey, what's going on up here?

And what are you doing
to my godson?

We're sticking pins in him.

Fred, we just can't
get him to be quiet.

Well, let me have him, Ethel.

What do you know about babies?

Let me have him.

- Well, okay.
- Be careful now.

Put your hand under his head.

- I know, I know.
- Now be careful, Fred.

Do you know how to hold him
and everything?

- Put your hand under his head.
- I know how to hold a baby.

Hi. Hi there, sunshine.

Hello there, sunshine.

You want to hear
the mockingbird?

Hear the mockingbird?

Hmm?

See?

Well, anybody can make him
stop crying for a minute.

Just wait till you put him down.

Yeah.

Now, listen, little fella,
we're going to put you down

and you're going to be
a great big, brave boy

and not make another sound,
and make your Uncle Fred

proud of you.

Okeydokey?

Yeah, what a champ.

Nighty-night.

Just wait.

How'd he do that?

Beginner's luck.

Beginner's luck, nothing.

It's my phenomenal memory.

Memory?

Yeah. It's not generally known,

but I was a little bit
of a baby boy myself once.

You know, to look at him now,

it's hard to believe he was
ever a little baby anything.

Well, what's the difference?

The main thing is,
Ricky's asleep.

Yeah.

Well, good night, honey.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Good night.

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Ricky, what's the matter
with you?

Now look what you did.

You woke up the baby.

What you put the crib
over here for?

What?

You shouldn't have put the crib
over here!

What's that?

The art gallery upstairs.

Huh?

Never mind. I'll explain it
to you in the morning.

Gee, I'm sorry
I woke you up, old man.

Now that you got him awake
and yelling,

what are you going to do
about it?

Well, I apologized to him.

What else do you
want me to do?

I want you
to put him back to sleep,

that's what I want you to do.

Put him back to sleep?

Honey, I had a hard night.

I've been working.

What do you think
I've been doing?

Well, honey, you're supposed
to put him to sleep,

and things like that--
you're his mother.

Hey, I know.

Why don't you walk with him?

Well, there's a fresh,
new idea.

Oh. You've been doing that.

Yeah.

Ricky, why don't you
sing to him?

Oh, honey, please, not tonight.

I'm so tired.

Come on, honey.

Oh...

♪ Rockaby baby on the treetop ♪

♪ When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock ♪

All right! All right!
All right! All right!

All right! All right!
All right!

I give up! I give up!

Anything is better than that.

Come on, I'll do it.
I'll do it. I'll do it.

Oh, come on, boy. Come on.
Come on, sweetheart.

Come on.

♪ Rockaby baby on the treetop ♪

♪ When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock ♪

♪ Da, da-da, dee-da,
da, da-da dee... ♪

♪ Down will come baby,
cradle and all ♪

♪ Rockaby baby on the treetop ♪

♪ When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock ♪

♪ Da, da-da, dee-da,
dee da-da, da... ♪

Hi.

Oh, hi, honey.

How's Little Ricky
this morning?

Oh, fine. He slept
the rest of the night.

Where are you going
all dressed up?

I'm going shopping.

I'm having a table
of bridge tomorrow.

You are? So am I.

Really?

Yeah. Why mess up
both apartments?

- Let's have them together.
- Okay.

Let's have it up here,

- and we'll have lunch first.
- All right.

- Both make half
the sandwiches up. -Yep.

Will you bring your card table,
your teapot, and your cups?

- How many cups? -Eight.
-

Eight cups.
Okay, I'll bring 'em.

Who is that?

Oh. Mrs. Trumbull.

Mrs. Ricardo.

Well, Mrs. Mertz, I'm glad
I found you two together.

[Ethel] You are?

How are you, Mrs. Trumbull?

As well as could be expected
after two hours' sleep.

Oh, I'm sorry about that,
Mrs. Trumbull.

The baby was a little fussy.

He won't annoy you again.

No, I'm sure of that.

Perhaps you'll recall

this piece of paper, Mrs. Mertz.

Your lease?

Yes.

"It is expressly understood
that at no time will children

be allowed to live
in said building."

Little Ricky.

He's a "children."

Since it says "no children"
in plain English,

what excuse is there
for Mrs. Ricardo's baby?

Uh... uh...

He can't read.

"He can't read."

Did the Ricardos sign a lease
like mine, or didn't they?

Of course they did,

but they didn't have
a baby till ten years later.

I'd expect them to do
something underhanded like that.

Aw, now, Mrs. Trumbull,

can't you be
a little more understanding?

I understand only one thing--

Either the Ricardos leave
or I do.

Mrs. Trumbull, I'd rather
you didn't force me

to make that decision.

Oh, Ethel, wait a minute.
You can't afford

to have another
vacant apartment.

Don't worry, Lucy,
we can rent that apartment

just like that.

And even if we couldn't,
it wouldn't matter

because my friendship
with the Ricardos

means more to me
than all the money on Earth.

I'm not the only tenant
who feels that way, Mrs. Mertz.

I advise you to think it over.

Well, I advise you
to think it over.

Well!

Oh, Ethel,
I can't let you do that.

You'll lose all your tenants.

We'll just have to move,
that's all.

No, you're staying.

I won't let you
out of your lease.

Oh, Ethel, you're just
about the swellest friend

a person ever had.

Now, Lucy,
let's not talk about it.

If there's anything
I can't stand,

it's somebody who does
something nice for somebody

and then talks about it
all the time.

- All right.
- Just forget it, honey.

- I'll see you later.
- Okay.

- So long.
- Bye.

And then the old prune said,

"Either the Ricardos leave
or I do."

And then Lucy said,
"Wait a minute, Ethel.

You can't afford to have
another vacant apartment."

And then what do you guess
I said?

- What?
- What?

I was there.

Oh, yes.

Well, I said,
"Don't worry, Lucy.

"We can rent that apartment
just like that.

"And even if we couldn't,
it wouldn't matter,

"because my friendship
with the Ricardos

means more to me
than all the money on Earth."

If I'd have been there,
I'd have said the same thing.

Gee.

And then she said,

"I'm not the only tenant
who feels this way.

I advise you
to think it over."

And I said, "Well, I advise
you to think it over."

And then she flounced
out of the apartment.

Ethel, I think
that you're just wonderful.

Oh, it wasn't anything.

Let's not talk about it anymore.

Well, Lucy and I
will never forget it,

will we, honey?

No, no, we never will.

Well, come on, Fred.

We've got a big day tomorrow--
bridge, you know.

- Bye.
- Good night.

- Bye, Lucy.
- Good night.

- Good night, Rick.
- Good night.

Gee, honey,
wasn't Ethel wonderful?

Yeah. Wonderful.

You don't sound
very appreciative.

Oh, I am, I am.

In fact, I'm up to here
with appreciation.

Huh?

Well, it was nice of her, okay,

but all day long,
she's been reenacting her scene.

She told the mailman,
the grocery boy,

the cop on the beat.

This afternoon, she came down
to the beauty parlor

while I was there
and played a matinee

for the manicurist.

Well, maybe she got it
out of her system by now.

I hope so.

Well, honey, it was nice.

Nice, yes, but Ethel acts
as if she discovered penicillin.

And then the old prune said,

"Either the Ricardos move,
or I move."

And then Lucy said,
"Wait a minute, Ethel.

You can't afford to have another
vacant apartment."

And then I said,

And then I said,

"Lucy, don't worry.

"We can rent that apartment
just like that,

"and even if we couldn't,
it wouldn't matter,

"because my friendship
with the Ricardos

means more to me
than all the money on Earth."

(door buzzer)

And then she said,
"Well, I advi..."

Oh, hi!

Oh, that hat is adorable!

Yeah, how about that, huh?

Dorothy, come here.
I've got to tell you...

Oh, it's been very exciting
around here.

Wait'll you hear what happened
yesterday morning.

You know that old Mrs. Trumbull

- that lives upstairs?
-

Well, she came down here
this morning...

Oh, too bad, honey,
you're not going

to be able to finish your story.

The rest of the girls are here.

Oh, well, listen...

Oh, hi!

That is the cutest outfit!

How about that, huh?

[Ethel] ...and then the old prune
said, "Either the Ricardos

leave this apartment,
or I do."

Oh, off all the nerve.

Isn't that awful?

And then Lucy said,
"Wait a minute, Ethel,

you can't afford to have another
vacant apartment."

And then I said...

"Lucy, don't worry,
we can rent

"that apartment
just like that, and even

"if we couldn't,
it wouldn't matter...

"because my friendship
with the Ricardos

means more to me
than all the money on Earth."

Well!

I'm sorry, Ethel.

I just couldn't stand it
any longer.

Oh. You don't care
how many tenants I lose,

but you get awfully excited

if I tell
a couple of people about it.

A couple of people?

Ethel, that scene has had more
performances than South Pacific.

Well!

That does it.

I'm leaving.

My half of the party
come downstairs.

Go ahead! See if I care.

Come on, and bring
that table-- it's mine--

And all those dishes.

And I'll take the sandwiches
I brought up, too.

That's my sandwich.

Come on, girls.

Just a minute.

That is my tablecloth.

Oh, she makes me so mad...

-
- Oh, she woke up the baby!

And keep that
squalling brat quiet!

Oh!

Mrs. Ricardo,

I've been trying
to make up this afternoon

for the sleep I lost last night.

My nerves are almost gone.

I'd...

I...

If I hear that baby
cry once more,

I'm going to send
for the police.

The police?

I'll be there, honey.

Lucy, I'm home!

Lucy?

Shh! Ricky,
you'll wake up the baby.

Mrs. Trumbull said if
he annoyed her one more time,

she was going to call
the police.

What do I care what she says?

We got Ethel on our team.

You'd better consult
your program.

There's been a last-minute
change in the lineup.

Huh? What are you talking about?

Ethel and I had a fight.

What?!

Well, I just couldn't stand it
any longer.

Tallulah Mertz played
her big scene three times

at the bridge game today.

Finally, I just started
acting it out with her.

Oh, Lucy, you didn't.

Well, she makes me so mad.

All right, honey,
so she make you mad,

but do you have to make
a big fight out of it

and lose your best friend?

That's the most childish thing
I've ever heard.

Well...

Well, she did us
a tremendous favor.

You don't know how a thing like
that can get on your nerves.

I do, too.

And I also know what you're
going to do right now.

- What? -You're going
to get on that phone,

call Ethel and apologize.

Apologize?!

Oh, no, I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are.

Oh, no, I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are.

I am not!

Hi.

How about some dinner?

Dinner?!

Yeah. I'm hungry.

Fred Mertz,
do you mean to tell me

that you can even think
of eating

after what happened to me
this afternoon?

Well, no, I can't,
but my stomach can.

Now, look, honey, you're making
entirely too much out of this.

Too much?!

Do you realize what happened
to me up there today?

We were having a perfectly nice
bridge luncheon

and I was telling the girls...

I know-- you told me,
you told me.

That's the trouble with you--

You keep harping on things
too much.

- What?!
- Now, now, now.

I won't say that Lucy was right,

but I'm getting tired
of hearing that story myself,

and I think the thing
for you to do

is to go up there and apologize.

Apologize?!

Why?

Well, because it's your fault
as much as hers,

and because you'll never
be happy

till you and Lucy make up,

and because I'm hungry.

Well...

maybe if she apologizes
to me first,

why, then maybe
I'll apologize to her.

Well, that's better.

Now come on.

Don't push me!

Lucy, for the last time,

are you going to get on
that phone and call Ethel?

No!

All right,
then you're going to go

right downstairs and apologize.
Come on.

- No. Now, Ricky, stop.
- Come on.

Lucy...

I apologize.

Ethel?

So do I.

You really mean it?

Yes, I really do.

Do you?

Yes, I do, Ethel.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lucy.

So am I.

Okay, let's eat.

Yeah, come on, let's eat.

Okay. What say we all
eat up here together?

Fine. Let's eat here, fine.

Wonderful.
I'll fix something.

All right, go ahead.
Cook the dinner.

Fine, fine.

Good deal.

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

What a pair.

Yeah.

You know, they'd die
without each other.

Yeah, you know something?

Lucy was right.

No. Ethel was right.

Listen, listen, Ethel was
harping on that story

till even I was sick.

Well... I guess
Ethel has the habit

of staying on a subject
until it gets sickening.

What do you mean,
"sickening"?

Well, you know
what I mean, Fred.

You just said yourself

that sometimes
you get sick of her.

Well, I'm supposed
to get sick of her.

She's my wife.

Well, you don't have to get
upset about it, Fred.

I was just agreeing with you.

Well, agree with me

without making
cracks about Ethel.

Well, I'm sorry, Fred.

You don't see me
taking potshots at Lucy,

although heaven knows
I'm loaded with ammunition.

And what do you mean by that?

I mean I'd rather be married

to a blabbermouth
than an ingrate.

Ingrate?!

You don't even know
what it means.

It doesn't matter.

I don't like the way
you looked when you said that.

Ingrate!

Tu lo que un viejo
muy atrevido,

muy bruto y muy sinverguenza!

Oh, now, listen,
you Cuban crumb!

Oh, I'd better get out of here

before I bust your nose.

Yeah, well, I'd like
to see you try it!

Break you in pieces!

You and who else?!

I'll massacre you!

They're fighting!

What about?

Mrs. Ricardo.

Mrs. Ricardo!

Mrs. Ricardo!

Come on now. Come on now, then.

Go ahead now, Fred, apologize.

Tell Fred you're sorry, Ricky.

Oh...

Why don't you apologize
together?

Look, now you say

"I'm sorry, Fred,"

and you say,
"I'm sorry, Ricky."

Now, I'll conduct.

One, two, three.

- I'm sorry, Ricky.
- I'm sorry, Fred.

There you are!

You see?

That wasn't so hard.

I'm glad that's over.

I didn't mean it

when I called you
a Cuban crumb.

That's all right, Fred.

I didn't mean it
when I called you

un viejo sinverguenza,
atrevido y bruto.

Yeah, that's all right, too,
but what does it mean?

If I told you,

we'd start fighting
all over again.

You know, for four
grown-up people,

we've been acting
pretty childish.

Yeah, we're bigger babies
than Little Ricky.

Little Ricky!

We left him alone!

Oh, no!

Oh, thank goodness
he isn't crying.

Shh, shh.

Mrs. Trumbull!

Mrs. Ricardo, you should be
ashamed of yourself--

Running off and leaving
this poor, little child alone.

Don't you worry, dear.

You'll always have me around

to see that nobody
leaves you alone again.

Mrs. Trumbull was
played by Elizabeth Patterson.

The clubwomen were Vivi Janiss,
Charlotte Lawrence,

Margie Liszt, Peggy Rea,
June Whitley, and Kay Wiley.

I Love Lucy
is a Desilu Production.