All language subtitles for star.trek.lower.decks.s05e08.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab

♪ ♪

T'LYN:
Hmm. Will someone please explain

why we are mutilating gourds?

It's an ancient Earth tradition
for a holiday called Halloween.

Jack-o'-lanterns
were supposed to keep demons

from entering your home.

Huh. I thought they were
just spooky and fun.

Is it sad that Tendi knows more
of our history than we do?

Oh, yeah.

- Check it out.
- BOIMLER: Oh, look at

- the little Cerritos.
- Aw, that's so cute.
- Commendable accuracy.

Hey, guys. Oh, nice,
I didn't miss the pumpkin party.

- Whoa, what's with
all the paint?
- Away mission.

We were supposed to study
a calcified forest on Malman 5,

- but then we got trapped
in a painting.
- What? No way.

Yeah, some local was using
hologram tech to take pictures

of the landscape
and accidentally sucked us in.

It turned into
a whole, big epic escape.

I got to ride a rainbow.

Oh, man, I've always wanted
to get stuck in a painting.

Anything happen
while I was gone?

Nope.
Same old, same old.

[short chuckle]
Classic Cerritos.

You know, on other ships,
it's the command crew

that gets into trouble,
not, like, random lower deckers.

That's okay.
I like our commanders.

I mean, so do I,
but they're no Janeway,

Kirk or Sisko, you know?

Yeah, our guys mostly spend
their time doing paperwork

instead of carving V'ger.

- TENDI: Oh.
- BOIMLER: Whoa.

"The Creator must join
with V'ger."

Boimler, let's, uh, let's go
replicate some more snacks.

All right,
remember to stay out of sight

or you're gonna get pulled into
some boring bridge crew meeting.

We deserve a day off.

You know, it's kind of funny,

we're sort of the stars
of the show around here.

The commanders seem to just
fade into the background.

Yep, without us lower deckers,
there'd be nothing to see.

- Oh, crap!
- STEVENS: [chuckles]
We've got another

full schedule
on the old to-do list, Captain.

- I never get a day off, do I?
- Not with me around.

Now, remember, I need a couple
of hours for myself tonight.

Well, we better hurry, then.
Your schedule's pretty full.

Never a dull moment
when you're in command.

Nothing would ever
happen around here

without the bridge crew.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

The Zerta pathogen has been
contained to Deck Four.

Officer Barnes
has almost recovered

from her transformation.

Oh, yes, the virus that caused
her DNA to... what was it?

Evolve? Devolve?

Both. She was
a futuristic cavewoman

who could read minds but was
also afraid of open flame.

How did you get her
to stop attacking people?

Eh, thought about a candle.

That reminds me, Dr. T'Ana,
we've had some complaints

- about your pain management.
- Who squealed?

Just, please, brush up
on your anesthetics.

Security.

Mosaro, when the lake
was smooth.

Starfleet Command
reports increased chatter

from the Clickets.

Nothing that should affect us.

- The who?
- They're the insectoid species

that hate being complimented.

Wonder what
they're mad about now.

Maybe someone gave them
a birthday present.

[laughing]

Just keep me updated. Mr. Shaxs?

[muffled]:
Are you feeling okay?

- Mr. Shaxs, what-what
is going on over there?
- Uh...

[hissing]

- [gasps]
- FREEMAN [clear]: Mr. Shaxs,

you're looking
a little out of sorts.

Requesting a day off,
uh, effective immediately.

- Okay. Granted.
- [groans]

[panting]

We still can't figure out

what's got these
buhgoon creatures all riled up.

Hopefully the Starfleet
ecologist can sort it out.

Make sure he gets
whatever he needs.

I don't want those things
defecating all over the hull.

Engineering?

My team refreshed
all the Cordry rocks

in the ceiling panels
on the bridge.

Ugh, hate those things.
They always fall out

and hit me on the head
when we take damage.

Well, their non-centrosymmetry
disrupts the charge leptons

in the isolinear pathways
of the main deflector,

- which then causes...
- I trust you have it in hand.

If there's nothing else...

Bring it in, everyone.

ALL:
Strong and brave, wise and true,

- that's what makes us
Cerritos crew!
- Yeah.

What's up next?

Ensign Barnes'
sousaphone recital.

She hasn't mastered the basics,
but she's gotten very loud.

Didn't Barnes just
evolve/devolve into a cavewoman?

Apparently, it didn't affect
her sousaphone blowing.

Great.

RANSOM:
First officer's log.

When a specialist
visits the ship,

I like to make sure they feel
like they have our full support.

Right this way, Professor.

My team's working on
getting a space cow

for you to check out.

The buhgoon are a rare,
endangered extremophile,

not cows.

I've never been able
to study one up close before.

Well, they look like cows to me.

- MOXY: What's taking
you guys so long?
- [overlapping chatter]

- Come on.
- Get in here,
you friggin' thing.

It can't hear you,
it's in space.

- [groans]
- KARAVITUS: Okay, genius, you
tell me how to get it in there.

What do you think I'm doing
over here with the tractor beam?

RANSOM:
While scientists
can be high-maintenance,

it's usually getting our lower
decks to work with each other

that can be the tricky part.

Lock it down, ensigns.

Maybe a little less arguing

and you'd have one of those
buhgoon in here.

We're trying to get one,
but Ensign Friendly

doesn't want to hurt
their feelings.

Hey, you take that back!
I'm not friendly!

- Do you hear yourself?
- MOXY: Uh-oh,
it worked too well.

We got an asteroid incoming.
Look out!

Aah! [grunts]

[low growl]

Ha. Us Delta Shifters know
how to take care of a problem.

Hey, you almost killed me.

Then why don't you
almost complain about it?

[wails]

Ugh, what the heck?

A natural cloaking ability.

Ha, they use their hide to hide.

- [shouts]
- Look out!
- Somebody grab it.

What do you mean, grab it?
It's the size of a shuttle.

- Don't you talk to me like that.
- I never want to work

- with you again.
- Aah! It rolled on my foot.

- CASTRO: What's wrong with you?
- [whistles]

This reminds me of a story.

Back a few hundred
stardates ago,

there was another commander
who could bench 305.

Okay? Which meant I had to do
something to impress her...

...Kimolu and Matt said
I couldn't beat Big Wave Tommy

because he was
king of the beach.

- [groans]
- It took a lot
of gnar shredding,

but once you get your
water feet, you are locked in.

So, a week before
the competition,

- I started eating
a lot of junga fruit.
- [groans]

SHAXS:
Chief security officer,
personal log.

The visions are happening again,
more potent than ever before.

Aah!

I don't care how many times

you come back to haunt me.

I'll never let you win.

[laughs]
You can't fight me,

because I am you, Papa Bear.

No. You're a freaky little
monster that lives in my brain.

Oh, am I?

[gasps, shouts]

The Battle of Tempasa?

- [gasps]
- [device beeping]

The Cardassians put a bomb
in the artifact.

Everyone, get down!
Aah!

[shouts, pants]

As time passes, I grow stronger,

while you get older
and fade away.

I'll kill you! I'll...

[shouts]

To control you,
I have to control myself.

That's stupid. Hit me!

[inhales]

[meditative humming]

Pathetic.
Humming won't hurt me.

But I will!

BILLUPS:
Chief engineer's log.

I had a bagel for breakfast,

and it gave me a tummy ache,

but I'm feeling better.

Anyway, uh, nothing
engineering-wise to report.

Okay, bye.

Commander, are you busy?

Just monitoring plasma flow.
What's up, Ensign?

I've got a nonfunctional
indicator light

behind panel 785.

You mind if I go ahead
and make the repair?

Well, sounds simple enough.

Uh, sir?

[gasps]

Oh, no.

Everyone, out of here now!

What is it?

Retrofitted plasma canisters.

Help me pull off the panels.

Careful, they're gonna be hot.

MEREDITH:
Retrofitted?

BILLUPS:
Sometimes I have to get

a little creative with repairs.

I guess I never bothered
to replace 'em.

Are they dangerous?

They're chock-full
of energized plasma.

We have to disable
their power source

or an overload could cascade
back to the warp core. Whoo!

- [laughs]
- Are you sure you can't
do this on your own?

You're the one
who spotted the bulb.

It's a good learning experience.

[whimpers]
Even if I die?

Everybody dies,
but it's the engineers

who really get to live.

T'ANA:
Chief medical officer's
[bleep] log.

I should be focusing on my work,

but I got some constructive
criticism in the staff briefing

that's got me in a [bleep] mood.

I refilled the hyposprays.

We're good to go
next time some virus

makes everyone sing or whatever.

Shut up and leave me alone!

Ho-ho, someone woke up on
the nasty side of the bed today.

Spare me your [bleep], Westlake.

Nobody else is going
to put up with you, honey.

Apparently some of the crew
don't like my pain management.

Uh, because you don't?

Manage pain, I mean.

Sick people come in,
healthy people go out.

That should be enough.

You swore an oath to do no harm.

Someone's not happy,

they can point
to the pain chart.

Just because you have
a high pain tolerance

doesn't mean anyone else does.

Okay, yeah.
I see what you're saying.

Good.
I'll restock the anesth...

We have to update
the pain chart.

[meows]

What are you doing?

You're gonna [bleep] me up

so I can feel some pain.

No, this is stupid.

It was your idea.

Now shut up
and rearrange my guts.

[sighs]

Come on!
Turn up the [bleep] [bleep]!

Oh, [bleep] yes!

[sousaphone playing]

[humming along with music]

Oh, just beautiful.

Hardly affected
by your protruding brow.

[grunting]

ENSIGN:
When my reproductive jelly
started emulsifying,

my first thought was,

"I hope the captain
attends my fertility event."

I honestly didn't even know
you weren't human.

ENSIGN:
I get that all the time.

[Stevens chuckles]

Ooh, here we go!

I've hit rock bottom.

My friends had all discovered

what I was doing
on the holodeck.

They shunned me.
I felt stuck out of phase,

like Geordi and Ro, wandering...

alone.

Stirring stuff, Mr. Bingston.

I wish I could stay...

Act Seven: the Oberth year.

The Manticore was known
as one of the fleet's

- "fun" ships.
- [snoring]

- But it's hard to have fun...
- [sputters] I'm here! [laughs]

...when you go from being
the star of the show

to a two-bit player...

♪ ♪

[buhgoon chitters]

[alien growls]

- [crew arguing, shouting]
- RANSOM: First officer's
log, supplemental.

What should have been
a pretty straightforward

creature study
has gone a little sideways.

We got two more incoming.

- Aah! Damn it.
- Ransom roll! Aah!

- Watch out for the shuttles!
- You let it go right past you!

- I can't grab what I can't see.
- Me? You're dumber
than Fletcher.

[panting] Great idea
pulling a rock in here.

Now we can't keep 'em away.

What are you talking about, bro?

You had the same idea.

I can't get a scan
if you don't calm them down.

What does it look
like I'm doing?

RANSOM:
Usually my expert guidance

cuts through any crew conflict,
but, occasionally,

I have to resort to plan B.

[whistles]

Still can't
get it together, huh?

Gather round,
your commander is here

and I have a plan.

[grunts]
On one hand,

you have these rowdy space cows.

Buhgoon.

And on the other,
they're turning invisible

and knocking everyone over.

Oh, yeah.
That's the stuff.

How is this supposed to help?

You got to believe
in the power of exercise.

Is he just working out?

Come on,
let's try to corner one.

Physical fitness
clears the mind.

Oh, yeah!

♪ ♪

Those tubes were connected
to a half-assed coil relay.

I must have been distracted.
Maybe my mom was visiting?

So, we got to
turn that off, too?

Yeah, but I got it
used from some Bynars,

so it activates
an AI defense golem

to prevent tampering.

What's an AI defense golem?

Oh, it's an artificial
construct that... Whoa!

- Aah!
- Meredith, it's up to you!

What do I do?

[Billups shouts]

Force a reboot by holding down
its power button

while telling a sad story

from your childhood
that demonstrates human emotion.

Uh, one time, when I was a kid,

my dad took me to the beach
and we saw a dead fish.

That's not sad enough!

Aw, for [bleep] sake,

I haven't been
overwhelmed with pain yet.

We need to up the ante!

But this is used to slice atoms.

Yeah, mother[bleep], just

zap me with that
mother[bleep] thing!

[cackles]
That's the stuff!

[whoops, meows]

[both grunting]

You can snap my neck,

but what will you do
against all your victims?

All the Cardassian warriors

getting their revenge.

They weren't warriors.

They were occupiers!

[grunting]

FEDEROV:
That is literally
the wrong way to do that.

KARAVITUS:
Blah, blah, blah. Who do
you think you are-- Picard?

[grunts, stammers]

[Ransom grunting]

Oh, yeah.

[Zurkel groaning]

Professor, is your research
going as planned?

- [hisses]
- Oh, your face fell off.

Do you need medical assistance?

Silence, fool!
[grunts]

You're not from Starfleet.

That's right.

[roars]

You'll never take the Cerritos.

We don't want your puny ship,

- we want the buhgoon.
- Why?

To harvest
their cloaking organs

and maybe eat what's left,

depending on texture and flavor.

You're why they've been
so agitated.

Aah!

- [grunts]
- Your plan can't be

to take control on your own.

Of course not,

which is why my infiltrators

are targeting
your senior officers!

[snoring]

He worked out so much
he had to take a nap?

You are the worst commander
I've ever had in my life.

- Wake up!
- Oh!

[shuddering]

[meditative humming]

ZURKEL:
You and your pathetic crew

are no match
for my infiltrators.

Everyone ignores the Clickets,

but once we have the power
to cloak our ships,

we'll spread
all over the quadrant!

Clickets, Clickets.
Why does that ring a bell?

Ring a bel...
See?!

You don't even know us.

And we've faced off before.

- We have?
- [hisses]

[shouts]

Ah.
Thanks, Ensign.

Thank you for coming
to my recital.

Aah!

Sorry, I thought
I saw some fire.

On your feet, Stevens.
We have invaders to repel.

[grunts softly]

But that's not on the schedule.

I'm sorry, sir.

I never should have
messed with that light.

[coughs]

If you hadn't,

we wouldn't have found
all that stuff to fix.

You got to let me get you
out of there.

No.

You'd let all the coolant out.

It's okay.

This is how all engineers
want to go.

At work, in a tube.

I can't let that happen.

- [yells]
- What are you doing?

That axe
is for emergencies only.

What's your definition
of an emergency?

[grunts]
We're in this together, sir.

Fine, then hurry.
[grunts]

We have to decouple
the deuterium conduits

before the thermal blankets
push the valve blocks

into the adjustment coils.

And I'll deactivate
the magnetic constrictors

while you cycle
the reactor conduits.

FEDEROV:
Sir, can we get

some guidance on the... Whoa!

- What the hell?
- Die, Starfleet!

- Deltas, take the left.
- On it.

[grunting]

- [cheering]
- We did it!

Listen, us Beta shifters
don't like you Delta shifters

for all sorts of reasons.

Right back at you.

But we can at least agree
that Ransom's the worst.

- Totally. He sucks.
- Big-time.

I think he likes
that we don't get along.

It's like some weird power trip.

How about we put aside
our differences

and work together to get
these buhgoon under control

- just to spite him?
- Yes.

- Oh, I'm in.
- Let's do it.

- [snoring continues]
- MOXY: Shh, shh.

[whispering]:
Over here, over here.

- Shh.
- FEDEROV:
Get over here, big guy.

Damn it, we need to get
to the bridge.

[hissing]

[growling]

[chuckles] I'm just glad
you don't play the recorder.

[exclaims]

One more step
and you'll feel pain

like you've never felt before.

[angry meowing]

[grunts]

That was set to kill.

So am I!

- [meowing viciously]
- [Clicket groaning]

[meowing]

[groaning]

And scene.

[meditative humming]

[grunting]

Die, Starfleet!

[groaning]

[grunting]

[growls]

- Put me down.
- [yells]

Welcome to the bear pack.

- [crunches]
- [yells]

[Clicket chittering]

Oh. Oh, buddy, sorry about that.

My infiltrators have taken over
every deck, Captain.

You have no power
over my warriors.

The Clickets.

You're right, I don't.

I guess I have to compliment you
on a successful invasion.

[gasps]
What did you say?

You're amazing at subterfuge.

- [groaning]
- Stop.

What's happening?

You see? This is why
you pay attention

in the morning briefing.

Clickets can't stand
being complimented.

[pained groan]
Your kind words burn me.

It's not my fault
your species evolved

a fight-or-flight response
to being praised.

I'll kill you.

- You're handsome.
- [groaning]

[over P.A.]:
You've got amazing breath.
I love your work.

I'm impressed
with your whole vibe.

- [groans]
- At the end of the day,
you're a captain doing his best

to watch out for his crew,
and I respect that.

Aah! Emergency transport.
Everyone out of there now.

♪ ♪

[groans]
What a bunch of weirdos.

There you go.

Go home, big guy.

[buhgoon snorts]

These things aren't so bad
once they calm down.

You're not so bad yourself.

Sorry for being
such a hard-ass earlier.

I guess nothing brings
people together

like a mutual enemy.

I'm talking about Ransom,
not the invaders.

- You guys want to hit the bar?
- Uh, yes.

[doors whoosh open]

[chuckles]
Works every time.

First officer's log.

As usual, my grasp
of the lower-decker mind

has proven to...
Oh, uh... [clears throat]

Carry on, Ensign.

I know you just pretend
to be an idiot

to trick us into getting along.

- Are you gonna tell anyone?
- No.

I think it's cute.

Plus everyone thinks
you're a doofus.

Nobody would believe me.

'Cause I'm just that good
at the job.

It was a scary, weird day,

but it really was
a good learning experience.

Thanks, Andarithio.

Whoa, gonna stop you
right there.

First names only when we're
on the brink of death.

Yes, sir.

I'll get to dismantling
that electronic face.

- Commander Billups,
are you busy?
- What's up, Cadet?

I found a burned-out
indicator light above the door.

Could you help me
with the repair?

Let's do this.

So, what's next on the schedule?

- Nothing, you're all good.
- Come on, Stevens.

Those Clickets had
to put us behind.

See? Look, there's a meeting
in Holodeck Three.

But you said you needed
some time off.

Yeah, it's my anniversary today.

I was gonna try to have
a nice long call

- with Admiral Freeman.
- You still should.

I know little meetings with
the crew seem inconsequential,

but they're the most important
part of being a captain.

The admiral will understand.

Zo?

- Carol?
- Wha...?

What are the odds
of seeing you here?

- How did you...?
- Mm.

Mr. Stevens reached out
a month ago,

said he made sure to put
some time on your schedule

so I could surprise you
with a romantic dinner.

Oh, honey.

I can't believe you came
all the way out here from Earth.

Happy anniversary.
How was your day?

Alien invaders,
chaos in engineering,

Shaxs fighting demons,
you know, just the usual.

Hmm. Glad to hear
you had it easy.

Mr. Shaxs, you made a quick exit
from the morning meeting.

Oh, just my usual fight
with the astral projection

of my unresolved rage
from the occupation.

Did you know
therapy can armor you

with even more weapons
for your metaphysical battles?

- When can we start?!
- Ow!

[bleep], that chowder's hot.

Okay, fine, I get it.
We can stock up on pain meds.

- That's a good kitty.
- Ah, shut up.

[purrs]

Ah, bar sweet bar.

Uh, I think I just heard someone
say they fended off invaders.

Did we miss something?

No way. Nothing ever happens
if we're not involved.

[sousaphone blowing]

Perhaps our commanders are
the leads of their own stories

when we are not observing them.

[scoffs] No way. We're the spice
and glitter around here.

Is it that hard to believe
they do interesting stuff, too?

Yes. That's my whole worldview.
Stop trying to shake it.

I saw your dad in the hall.

Yeah, right.
That's impossible.

I saw him, too.
He was kissing your mom.

Stop making stuff up.

I saw Admiral Freeman
and the captain

- getting trapped in a painting.
- What? No way. Really?

T'LYN:
No.

I have made a joke
at your expense.

Boom.

[all laughing]

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

[man imitates weapons firing]

Chirp.