All language subtitles for Last.ExMas.2024.1080p.WEB-DL.h264-SanneD_4_text

I was thinking like,
when he went in

and the way that he like,

acted in the middle
of the class.

I know.

And then he was just
so...weird.

Like, who acts
like that?

I know!

And so, I don't know,

I was just like, thinking...

Because it just,

I feel like there's not enough
for me

'‘cause I feel like, you know,

I'm really gonna get
to a place

that's much better.

Yeah.

But you're gonna be so famous.

- Everyone's gonna love you.
- I know.

You're like
the star of our year.

Stop.

No, you're gonna make
it. I believe in you.

I think
it's gonna be great.

...And you're leaving,
you know?

I don't understand.

Low key, you know,
but, like, honestly...

Yeah, of course, right.
But...

Please.

Just, just one second.

Oh, okay.

I missed you so much.

It's almost midnight. I
thought you'd be here hours ago.

I know, I'm sorry.

I'm still working
on my college applications.

Chicago's essay question,
"“Where's Waldo? Really?"”

What? I thought we were only
applying to colleges out west.

Yeah, I am but --

It's New Year's Eve, Jules!

I wanted to spend
the whole night together.

Oh yeah? And do what?

I don't know.

I gotta pee!

It's a semi-mergency!

Uh, the bathroom's
down the hall.

Wait. Maggie? Is that you?

Who are you in there with?

Quick, hide.

- You've gotta be kidding me.
- Jules, please.

If you're in there like,
naked,

gimme a code word.
Say "“naked"”!

Naked. I'm naked.

Nuh-uh!
Who are you naked with?

Just...

It's one of the cheerleaders.

Who? Is it Stacey? Grace?
It's been two years.

You promised you were gonna
tell everyone.

Dani!
I'm sorry.

Is it Karen?

It's Karen isn't it?

Get it, Karen!

Why am I here?

Oh, right, pee. Oh.

Jules, I'm sorry.

I'm up for prom queen
this year

and if people knew --

Everyone knows you're gay.

But yeah, sure, I get it.

I guess I'm not...

prom king material.

Well, I --

Anyway.

Jules. Jules wait.

I also applied to the Culinary
Institute tonight.

In New York.

That's why I was late.

And if get in, that,
that's where I'm gonna go.

What? What happened to L.A.?

We had it all planned out.

It's the better school.

The bathroom's upstairs.

Okay.

Okay, Jules, wait.

Jules.

I should have never come
to this stupid party.

I knew you were lying.

You were never
gonna tell anyone.

Please, you barely even came
to this party, okay?

You always do this.

All you care about is you.

Between your extra homework
and the diner,

and now apparently New York,

I never make your list.

Why did you even want me
here earlier?

Just so you can hide
me in some room?

God, you care so much about
what other people think of you.

It's pathetic.

Yeah, well,
you care so little

and that's why
you look like that!

Okay, people are
gonna remember me.

No one even notices you.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

Okay, can we just talk
about this in, tomorrow?

No.

No.

We're done, Maggie.

I don't wanna be
with you anymore.

Fine.

Have fun being alone.

Seven, six, five...

Fine, asshole!

Happy fucking new year!

God!

This town was always too small
for Maggie.

I hear she has auditions lined
up in L.A. and an agent.

Plus, being prom queen? I mean,

talk about a fast track
to total success.

Who was that girl arguing
with her at the party?

And what was her name again?

Julianne is just thriving
in New York.

She's already been
offered jobs at three

of the top restaurants
in the city!

I'm creating this shrine
for her.

Every word ever written
about her is going up here.

I can't wait for her to see it.

She's gonna absolutely hate it.

L.A. this, L.A. that,
it's all so exciting.

And you know, they don't
call it Tinseltown anymore.

Maggie won't stop reminding
me about that.

Oh, she's gonna be a star,
you know.

The biggest.
On the walk of fame.

Oh, there it is! That's her
commercial! Maggie's on TV!

And get zero
percent financing for up to 24 months...

Give her an Oscar already.

Would you look at that?

Our small-town hero.

New York City's
most eligible bachelorette.

But you can't keep a girl

when all she wants
to do is work, work, work.

I hear uh, chili peppers
really spice up the bedroom.

But Bernie needs more spice.

Are you serious?
Maggie's coming home for the holidays?

It's been like, what, ten years?

I think so. But I don't know.

I go by the number of exes
she's had, so what, like,

seven ex-mases ago?

Hmm. This is going
to be some Christmas!

Why?

Well, Jules told me not
to tell anyone,

so don't tell anyone.

I'm gonna tell someone.

But she's also coming home
this year.

Her restaurant
is being reno'd

so she's finally got a bit
of time off.

Ooh! This is fate.

Fifty bucks
they get back together.

Wait, what do you mean
get back together?

What? I didn't say anything.

I'm just messing with you.

You think anyone can keep
a secret in this town?

I'll take that bet.

Well, here we are.

Wow. Um...

not much has changed.

We painted the garage.

Three years ago.

The same colour?

Yes.

Oh, we're happy
to have you home.

Thanks, Dad.

- Maggie? Maggie.
- Yeah.

Did you see?
You're front page of the paper.

Oh, my God, Mom,
I told you not to tell anyone.

Well, I'm sorry.

I was so excited
to see my daughter.

And you know this town.

Everyone knows
everybody's business,

so it wouldn't even have
mattered if I said anything.

And that's exactly why
I don't come home every year.

You know, it's unfortunate

that your girlfriend wasn't
able to make it with you.

Yeah, well,
she had other plans.

What was her name again?
It was something eclectic.

Um, Moon?

No, no, no, I think it was
like a flower

or something. Dandy?

- Dirt.
- Comet.

I think you're all
talking about Fern

and she was
two exes ago, so.

Who's the new victim?

Vivian.

Did Vivian
hit the eject button?

No. It was um, mutual.

Maggie got dumped again.

Oh, my God. Dad.

Hmm.

What's that,
like eight times now? Ouch.

I am so glad I came
home this year.

Well, at least you have
the ceremony to look forward to.

What ceremony?

Mom?

- What?
- It's nothing.

It's a small, little thing.
Don't worry about it.

You're getting a key
to the city.

What? For what?

You know, I asked myself
the same question, Mags.

The car commercial
was a huge hit here.

Yes.

Am I doing it right?
Am I waving too fast?

I didn't take acting lessons.

Mom, when you told me about
that a month ago,

I thought you were joking.

I don't want this kind
of attention.

You're an actress. I thought
all you want is attention.

I don't know
what you're so upset about.

This is such an honour.

They don't just give anyone
the key to the city.

Hmm. You know, actually,
they gave it to Joe last month,

so kinda will just give it
to anybody.

Joe the crossing
guard has been a staple

to this community
for over 30 years.

Five kids were hit
under his watch.

Three were not his fault.

-Okay, you know what?
- Three.

Tell the mayor thank you,

I appreciate the thought,
but no.

Well, it's too late.

The ceremony is this afternoon.

Besides, you're not the only
one getting a key.

So, not all of the attention
will be on you.

Wait, sorry,
they're sharing my key ceremony

with somebody else?

Mm-hmm, now you care?

What? No. No,
but who...

Sandra from the salon?

No, actually she got it last
February.

It's even better
actually, it's um --

It's, it's no one.
I was mistaken.

That's next month.

It's just you. Only you.

Just eat your food.

We don't need to talk
through breakfast. Hmm?

Frankie.

I'm home.

You're late.
I'm late.

- We're late.
- I know, I'm sorry.

Last-minute crisis at work

and I missed the earlier train.

I should have been
at the diner an hour ago.

Will you drop by after
to help me out?

I'm at your service.

I'm so sorry that I can't be
at your ceremony today.

Oh, my God, your ceremony.

You're late!

If you leave five minutes
ago you just might make it.

Five minutes ago?

Oh, very funny.

Um, you said it doesn't start
until one.

Also you haven't seen me
in a while.

Mom!

I missed you.

I'm sorry.
I missed you so much.

Have you lost weight?

You've lost weight.

I haven't.

Oh. Have you gained weight?

No.

I don't recognize
you anymore.

That's how little
I see you.

We're late.

Okay, well,
I don't think you need this.

And that was
Ms. Ofland's third-grade class

performing Arpeggio in C minor.

Now the reason why we are here.

Maggie Piers is finally home
after ten years.

We thought she was dead.

You might recognize her from
What the Star Chronical calls,

the commercial of the decade.

-Oh, God, no. No, no.
- Our second honouree is

best-selling author and our
small town hero.

Please let me welcome our key
to the city recipients,

Julianne Alba and Maggie Pierce.

And Maggie Pierce.

Ms. Pierce?

There she is.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Wow, if there isn't anyone
less deserving

of this award than
Maggie Pierce.

Is this the only way
to get you back here?

First, prom queen and then this?

Wow, what accolades.

Julianne Alba,

I'm surprised you
even showed up.

Well, unlike you,
I actually deserve this award.

I'm the youngest head chef
in the Lower East Side, so.

Youngest doesn't mean
the best

so you could also be the worst
chef in all of New York City.

We were on our way
to a Michelin star.

Sorry, what was that?

I couldn't hear all your lame
bragging

over the giant piece
of food stuck in your teeth.

What?

They need to fire
that photographer.

Attractive.

Might as well add it to
your obnoxious shrine of me.

Hmm. I think we could
find some room.

Maggie Pierce.

Last time I saw her
she was climbing

out the second-story window
of our house

in the middle of the night.

You could have let her
out the front door, you know?

Hey, she wanted to climb out
the window so nobody saw her.

She would show up
at our house almost every day

pretending she was returning
a book

or a shirt she borrowed.

You basically had a stalker.

What? I don't remember that.

Well, you were very strict
about your study time

and not being disturbed.

I basically had
to shoo that poor girl away.

So...need me to close
up here tonight?

No. Why?

I heard through the grapevine

that someone named Ken asked
you out today.

Yeah. I said no.

Why?

He wanted to invite me over
for dinner at his house.

I barely know him.

He's been our neighbour
for 30 years.

A first date is a coffee
or a movie.

Something in a crowded place.

Okay, well that
is being paranoid.

What if I need to fart, hmm?

If it's just me and him in his
house, he'll know it's me.

What other choice do I have?
Hold it in?

Let me tell you, Julianne,
last time I held it in,

I blew a hole right through
my pants.

I nearly shattered a window.

But in a movie theatre,
it can be anyone.

These are the things you need
to think about.

I'm pretty sure that these
are not the things that you,

or anyone,
should be thinking about.

You will when you're my age.

Here, give me those.

Mom, you need
to put yourself out there.

I don't want you
to be alone anymore.

I'm not lonely. I have you.

Yeah, once or twice a year
when I can make it home.

Don't worry about me.

Plus, I might have my eye
on someone else.

Hmm.

Where are you?

Why aren't you hooking up
with someone?

You need rebound sex.

Yeah, well, I'm trying
to find a temp job

because I'm so insanely broke
right now.

Brooke, I think this
is what rock bottom feels like.

Oh, baby boo, you're just
scratching the surface.

Vi stopped by this morning.
She picked up her shit.

Oh, she did not waste
any time.

How'd she look?

Do you want the truth
or a friend?

The latter.

Fugly.
Missing all of her teeth.

Deformed head. Like she emerged
from the sewers.

Hmm, so still insanely hot.

Yeah, so fucking hot.

You'd be mad if I,
or we...you know.

I would.

I thought so.

That's why I checked.

Hmm. Oh,

did I mention I ran into

my high school ex yesterday?

No way. I just ran into my ex

at the farmer's market.

Really? What happened?

We slept together.

Okay, so we had very
different experiences.

What? No.

Um, look I, I gotta go.

Just take care
of my place for me?

You know it.

- Maggie?
- I'm sorry.

Maggie Pierce?

Mags!

I heard you were finally
back in town!

I can't believe it!
It's been so long.

I'm not too sure
if you remember me.

We weren't really in the same
clique in high school.

I'm Julianne's best.

Only friend.

Lola. Yeah, I,
I remember you.

You used to have blue hair?

And then it was pink.

And then red.
And not it's all...

you could see.

Oh, my God!
You look the same, Mags!

I can't believe it.
I saw your car commercial.

You really look so real.
Like you were really waving.

How'd you do it?

God-given talent.
Um, how are you? You look great.

Really?

Um, I, I should
really get going.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, oh, my God!

That made my week!

A celebrity telling me
that I look great.

I, I'm not a celebrity.

I can't. I can't. Mm, mm!

I saw you got a key to the city.

So exciting.

They don't give a key
to just anyone.

I heard Joe the crossing guard
was last month's recipient.

Hmm. Two of those kids
were not his fault.

Since you're back,

does this mean
you'll be throwing

your epic New Year's Eve's
parties again?

My RSVP is 10 of 10.

No, I, I don't do those
parties anymore.

Oh, duh. I'm sure you have to
head back to Beverly Hills.

Or Malibu.
Where do celebrities live?

But if you change your mind,
I'm available!

Actually, we're practically
neighbours though.

I'm moving in right across
the street from your parents.

It's taking
me weeks to move.

I bought
the Smith's old house.

Really?

Yeah. They died.

Oh, my God. What happened?

Technically, they moved
to Florida.

But what's the difference?

Well, I, I really
better get going.

Let's do lunch tomorrow.

I can't. I've got lots of,
you know,

errands and celebrity
stuff to do.

I'm not taking no for an
answer. My treat.

Ha, Jules! Jules!

Julie Bear! Look who's back.

I know. I was just signing
some books of mine.

That I wrote.

'‘Cause I'm also
a published author.

Town hero.

Big deal.

Want me to sign that?

What? No.

10,355th on the Times
best-selling list, too.

Up 18 spots from yesterday.

And if only you had a good
personality

to go with all of that.

Too bad.
Can't have it all.

Okay! I have felt
the energy shift

and this has
now become awkward.

So, I'm going to
leave.

Lola out.

I guess this is what
it's gonna be this holiday?

Us running
into each other everywhere?

It's a small town.
Hard to avoid people.

Well, maybe we should try.

Look, this is my town
still so --

My town?
Sorry, I didn't realize

you got the whole town
in the break-up.

Just... stay away
from me.

Okay?

Please, like I even wanna
be near you.

You smell like fish.

Yeah, well, it's Fish & Chips
Day at the diner.

- Hi. It's so nice to see you.
- Hi.

Lola, what are you doing?

What happened? What happened?

You're just always there.

Lola.

Hi!

Come on, in, let's go!

Ta-da!

What? Lola, no,
I'm not eating Tina's diner.

It's either here
or the Chinese buffet

that only serves pierogies.

And has failed their
last three health inspections.

Plus, I don't think Jules is
helping out today.

Okay, yeah,
the diner it is. Okay.

I am so glad
we did this.

You know, I always felt
a missed connection

with you in high school.

We could have been
like so close.

Um, sure.

Uh...

That's a keeper.

I can see Jules has dabbled
in the menu.

"“Pan-fried pastry roll filled
with artisanal cheese

and aged salami."”

That's a pizza pocket.

Jules, hey!

What are you doing
here? With her?

She's one of my best friends.

No, she isn't.

But, well, she could be.

She said she loves you.

I mean, said, "Hi" to you.

No, she didn't.

Hi.

You said she wasn't
gonna be here today.

Did I? Oops.

Okay, let's risk
the Chinese buffet.

It'll be totally cool.
Don't worry.

She told me that she doesn't
hate you anymore.

Okay, that's a lie. She like,
really, really hates you.

It's borderline unhealthy.

But we can fix that.

Jules, look who's here?
I'm just...you know.

I'm just stretching.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?
At a diner?

Um, I don't know, do you
ask all of your customers that?

Hey, Joe?

What are you doing here
at the diner?

Julianne's asking everybody.

Eating. Dumbass.

We're eating, dumbass.

Okay, this isn't
a great start.

I thought it was pretty clear
that I didn't wanna see you.

And I thought we agreed
to avoid each other.

I think what Jules
is trying to say

is that she's happy
that you're making an effort.

And you're trying
to fix that broken bond

between the two of you.

Making the first step
is the hardest.

That's the complete opposite
of what I just I said.

Okay, I, I wouldn't be here
if Lola didn't basically force me.

Trust me, I wanna see you,
way less than you wanna see me.

Okay, and what Maggie's
trying to say

is that she regrets not coming
to see you sooner.

And she valued your relationship
and hopes

that one day you guys can
be as close as you once were.

Yeah. Okay.

Shouldn't you be cooking
or something?

We're actually all
out of food today.

If I'm being honest,
this is actually going better

than I thought.

Should we?
If you don't I will.

No, just
the bottom part.

Just around.

How are you sleeping
through this?

This is good.

Yeah. So, you find
a temp job yet?

No, no.

You know, the diner is hiring.

Very funny.

No, everyone is talking
about you guys.

They're really hoping
for a holiday romance.

Does no one here have
anything else better to do?

No, I got your back.

I made sure everyone
knows that Jules

is way out of your league now.

Okay, thanks.

Wait, wait, look.

Yeah, she really shouldn't
be driving anymore.

We're late.

Girls let's hurry up!

For what?

You seriously don't remember

what we do every year?

- Oh, no.
- Mm-hmm.

- No.
- Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.

♪ Come adore
on this great night ♪

♪ Queens and kings
in glorious light ♪

♪ And we all in fab array

♪ Celebrate with flair today

♪ Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

♪ In eleganza

♪ Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

♪ In extravaganza

Those heels are
killing my toes.

I told you to wear
your boots.

But they didn't go
with my outfit.

Hmm, okay, you know what? No.

I think I'm gonna skip
this one, so.

What? Oh, come on. She's not
even gonna recognize you.

Listen, the faster we get the
donations, the sooner we leave.

True. I don't even know why
I came home for Christmas.

That order was supposed
to go through on Wednesday.

I don't understand why
it hasn't been delivered yet.

You realize if it's not in by
the weekend,

it's gonna seriously --

Hello, we're waiting.

Sorry, can I call you back? I
have carollers in, I hope, drag?

Sorry, guys, running
a restaurant and all.

Can I request a song?

Oh, sure, honey.
But it'll cost you extra.

Okay.

Since you're in drag,

how about "Last Christmas"?

Oh.

Maggie?

What? Who's Maggie?

I'm Chestnuts.

On to the next house.

Okay.

Uh... so, am I not
getting a song?

Everything okay?

What? Um...yeah.

Yeah, it was just my agent.

She probably wants

to set me up
with some auditions.

That's exciting.

Yeah.

If you need help
with anything,

all you have to do is ask.

Honestly,
things are really great.

I've got a couple shows
lined up in the new year, so.

Okay.

Your mother worries about
you.

Huh, but I keep reminding
her that you're a smart, independent woman.

Not a lot
of people who can

take off to a brand new city
on their own.

But you did it.

You can do anything.

Do you really mean that?

We're really proud of you.

So, if you tell me things
are okay,

I trust you.

Hmm.

When are you gonna bring
a girl home for Christmas?

Ugh, Mom!

What? I can't remember the
last time you had a girlfriend.

Let alone one you've had long
enough for me to meet.

I work too much.
I don't have time for one.

I hate everyone.
Do you want more excuses?

You need more balance
in your life.

It can't be work, work,
work all the time.

Maybe a girlfriend
might help relieve some of those stresses.

You know what I mean?

For my sanity,

I'm gonna pretend
that I don't know what you mean.

I'll have to admit, it's been
a while since I've had a man.

Hell, I've been through a lot
of batteries,

if you get my drift.

I don't have
to get up to turn the TV on.

Please, let's not
go down this road.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't really wanna be
talking about this with you.

I just don't want you to run
out of batteries, like me.

I thought you enjoyed
being a spinster?

Well, who wouldn't?

I have complete freedom
in my life.

I have total flexibility
to do what I want.

And I have entire queen bed
to myself.

But this time of year,

it would be nice to share
it with someone special.

What do you think of Joe?

Joe, the crossing guard?

Joe, the creepy guy
who comes into the diner

and orders one slice of whole
wheat toast, dry,

like a psychopath?

I think he's kind
of mysterious.

Uh, sure. In like,
a vagrant kind of way.

Maybe this time next year,

he might be your new...daddy.

You know what I mean?

Ugh.

I could barely get
that one out.

I think I threw up a bit

in my mouth when you said it.

But hey, I wouldn't have
to be using my batteries.

Please, stop.

♪ We hit rapids

♪ Late night caught
in the habit ♪

♪ I'm trying to recapture

♪ The love we had to lose

♪ I remember ♪

What the fuck?

Ugh, I really waited
last minute to do this.

Um, gloves for Dad.

Ha, life alert
for Grandma.

Frankie.

I can't believe I got stuck
with this stupid list this year.

What? Oh, yeah.

Um, Mom wants to know what
you want for Christmas.

Uh, what?

What do you want
for Christmas?

Um...just a second.

Oh...

I'm gonna tell
her a vibrator.

Let's do vibrator.

It's getting hard
to avoid each other.

Yeah, especially
because you keep showing up

at my family's diner.

Can I get a coffee, please?

So, um, how's your day going?

Oh, actually --

Okay, look,
I don't really care.

Um, I need a favour.

My answer is no.

What?

I didn't even tell you
what it is yet.

Well, you asked me
for a favour,

and normally,
that's something you do

for somebody that you like.

And well.

Wow, you turned into
a real jerk.

Did anyone ever tell you
that? God.

Okay, fine. What is it?

Will you hire me just
until New Years?

What? No, sorry.

We don't need any extra help.

You have a sign in the window.

That is just décor.

Aren't you a celebrity?

Why would you want
to work in a diner anyways?

I need it to do research
for a role

that I'm doing
in the New Year,

which is why it will only be
for a couple of weeks.

No. No, forget it.

Absolutely not.

Remember,

in our junior year,

when we made those
special brownies

that Tina accidentally
ate and she got really sick.

We told her it was bad eggs.

Yeah...

Be a shame if I told her
what was really in them now.

You start tomorrow.

♪ Printing out
the golden ticket ♪

♪ Has me short of breathe

Okay,
do not close this door, okay?

The handle broke recently
and it doesn't work properly.

♪ This afternoon

♪ This afternoon

♪ Starting fresh
has me delighted ♪

♪ And warm faces keep me
fighting ♪

♪ There's a heart
that beats me lonely ♪

♪ I have no friends

♪ But I will soon

♪ I will soon

♪ I hear tracks
on Monday morning ♪

♪ I see ships on Tuesday too ♪

♪ The ferris wheel
it all kept glowing ♪♪

I missed the snow.

It's so magical
this time of year.

Uh, where do you
think you're going?

Um, home?

Unlike you,
I actually have a life.

I have a life.

Very busy, successful,
fulfilling life.

And yet we both got the key
to the city.

Just...

help me bring these
boxes to the back, okay?

And then you can go have a life.

Fine.

Please tell me that you did
not close that door

that I told you not
to close.

It was an accident.

Right.

Use your lesbian strength.

Please.

Use your lesbian strength.

Okay. Well, it's only
funny when I say it.

I'm, I'm gonna call my dad.

Yeah, yeah.

It's in my coat.

Please tell me you have
your phone on you?

Let's go up.

Okay.

Okay, good news
is I have service.

Bad news is I have two
percent battery, so.

Mom? Mom? Hello?
Can you hear me?

Tina? Tina, no. No, I don't
care what happened

on whoever's got talent.
Mom, we are --

Yeah, shit. It's dead.

No. No, no, no.
No, I can't believe this.

What are we gonna do?

We could try screaming
for help.

Help!

That was my only idea.

I can't believe
we're actually stuck here.

You don't think...

Oh, yes.

Uh.

It's still here.

Is that --

From senior year.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I'm sorry.

That hurt,
but it's your turn.

- My turn?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Okay!

I'm sorry.

What is so funny?

Okay, my thought process,
right,

I was thinking of the last time
that we'd been trapped,

and it reminded me of that snow
storm in our junior year.

The one where we got stuck in
the movie theatre parking lot?

Uh-huh. And "Last Christmas"
was playing on the radio

and you got out of the car

because you wanted to climb
on the roof.

And draw a heart
on the, the sunroof.

Yeah. Yeah, and then I got
down and nothing else happened.

That was the end of the story.

- No, no, no.
- I'm pretty sure.

I distinctly remember
you making

a not so graceful
journey back down.

In fact, you didn't just fall
off of the roof of the car,

you bounced the entire way down.

Okay, well.

I legit thought you
might have died.

It was really slippery, okay.

Wasn't that the night
that we first...

Um...yeah.

Sorry. Um...

I think so.

All I ever wanted was
to be close to you.

I was happy even
just being trapped in a car.

I was way more into you
than you were into me.

That is not true.

Yeah, it is.

You were always blowing
me off to do extra homework

or extra shifts
at the diner. I mean,

you missed my 16th birthday
because that was the summer

you decided
you wanted to learn

to cook your way
through every French recipe.

I wasn't even invited
to your birthday.

What, we, we were
gonna meet up after.

Yeah. We were always
gonna meet up after.

You hid me
our entire relationship.

You were so consumed with
wanting to be popular and...

acting like how you thought
others would like you.

That is not true.

No. You're right,
I...

I messed up.

I didn't think of it that way.

I was voted most likely to
succeed in high school

and I ended up being
the most unsuccessful.

I was voted most likely to
not be remembered

at our ten-year reunion.

Why did they even
give that one out?

I don't know.

It's cold in here.

Yeah.

Oh.

Thanks.

I'm here to
save the day. Ha!

Oops.

I'm sorry.

I thought
this was the bathroom.

Tina.

Man.

♪ Yesterday day I picked apart

♪ All we were back
at the start ♪

♪ Seemed to me long ago games

♪ What if now
we're just the same ♪

♪ And I know that time changes
many things ♪

♪ But could it possibly just
change everything ♪

♪ With you

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ With you

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ With you

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ With you

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ With you ♪

Okay, I've had two Red Bulls,
two coffees.

I'm going
to need another black coffee.

I feel the energy today.

Lola.

Feels a bit different.

Yes, pour me, pour me.

Maggie, we are
out of rye bread.

If you can let the
customers know, please.

Yeah, okay.
Uh, thank you.

That'd be --

- Okay.
- That'd be good.

Okay, thanks.

Uh, what happened
with you two?

- What?
- She said please.

N-nothing. Nothing.

Oh, I'm sorry,
let me get that.

No, you're busy.

No, no, honestly.

- No, babe, I --
- Uh, sorry?

No, seriously,
it's fine, I...

I got it.

Uh...

I think I'm good.

Maggie. Maggie?

Oh, sorry. Geez. Sorry.

Wait, everyone knows you two
got trapped in here last night

but you're both acting
like you slept together.

Oh, my God. Did you guys...

you know?

Scissors?

What? No, no, scissoring's
not a thing.

What. It is,
but not in the way that...

nothing happened.

This is off-limits to you now.

Sorry. Sorry.

Okay.

I need to know.
Did you guys...

you know?

Hmm? What?

No. Nothing happened.

- What?
- No, I swear.

Okay? There...

there was a, a moment,
and then...

and then we...

We what? God, woman!
Shh, tell me!

We...

kissed.

Kissed?

Shh.

Just kissed?

That is how lesbians act
when they kiss?

Why did you need
to whisper that?

Hi.

What is with you two
and the coffee today?

- Lola is done.
- Sorry.

Uh, I...I don't even know how
I feel about her.

I am so confused.

Well, do you wanna
kiss her again?

Yeah.

I think that might
be your answer.

This coffee's nasty.

You need to get me a new one,
please.

Just get me --

Sorry, I didn't make it.

This is gonna...

Jules!

Okay, well, um, I,
I guess I'll get going.

Maggie's leaving.

Oh, already?

I'm gonna go to the back
to do some inventory.

It'll be a while.

A long while.

You won't see me around
for quite a bit.

Okay. Okay, Mom, thank you.

Um, are you doing
anything later?

Just gonna swing by
Lola's for a bit.

Oh, okay.

I, I just thought
if you weren't doing anything,

"White Christmas" is playing
at the theatre.

Maybe you wanted to go.

Yeah, I can see
if Lola wants to come.

Oh.

I'm just kidding.

I would love to see
"White Christmas" with you.

Okay.

Yeah.

I forgot my pen.

Actually, I didn't forget
my pen.

What was I thinking?

I can use safety pin

and my own blood.

I'm sorry.

So, I, I'll see you later?

Yeah, I'll,
I'll see you later.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Cool.

Bye.

Okay, which one?

What's the message
you're trying

to send tonight?

Um, I don't know, let's...

try to be more than friends,

maybe, if you want.

But no pressure.

Oh, babe.

That is so lame.

Okay, well what message
should I be sending?

Like, you've missed out on
this for ten years.

And I'm opening the door
for you a crack.

No, a smidge.

No, I'm just unlocking
the door

so you'd better knock
me off my feet tonight

if you wanna get a second
chance.

Yeah.

I don't have a shirt
that says that.

I don't know, halter?
Tube top.

Brooke, it's snowing.

It could work.
More importantly...

Oh, my God.

What are you wearing
under your clothes?

What?

This is Julianne.

Joe?
How'd you get this number?

Okay, slow down, slow down.

Is she okay?

Okay, okay,
I'll be there in five.

Oh, a part of me thought
you were dead.

Vi?

What are you doing here?

You didn't answer
any of my calls.

You broke up with me.

A month before Christmas,

when you promised
that you'd come.

You made me look like an idiot.

And if you answered any
of my calls,

you'd know that...

I'm sorry.

Look, you're like the longest
relationship I've ever had.

Three months?

And that's like five years

in lesbian math.

I made a mistake.

It was stupid and I realized
almost immediately

after we broke up that...

I want you, Maggie.

I flew across
the country for you.

I'd fly across
the world if you wanted me to.

So...

let me make it up to you?

Do you mean that?

Or are those just lyrics
to a new song?

I mean it.

And I may also use them
as lyrics to a new song.

Why didn't you tell
me you weren't feeling good?

I didn't want to worry you.

You tell me everything.

Things I don't even wanna know,
you tell me.

It was a mild heart attack.

I've had period cramps
that were worse than that.

From now on, you will be
telling me everything

you are feeling, always.

Fine.

Do you know who called
the ambulance at the diner?

I'm guessing it was Joe.

He also called me.

It was. He's a lifesaver.

I don't --

One of those kids
was not his fault.

You don't need to be here.
I know how busy you are.

I can manage fine
on my own.

You shouldn't have
to be alone. Okay?

My work is okay with me
taking some extra time off.

So, I'm going to stay here
until you're feeling better.

You are more important to me.

♪ Lola's gonna get some ♪

That's not Julianne!

Ah!

I've got some gossipy-goss.

Who?

What?

Where?

When?

Why?

I need answers.

Vivian.
Everyone calls her Vi.

Maggie's ex. Flew in
from L.A. a couple nights ago.

She's a Scorpio,
so completely wrong for Maggie.

I'm a Virgo.
That's much more compatible.

Someone should
let Maggie know I'm a Virgo.

And still single.

Vi's a musician.

She's in the band
called The Sadies.

They're amazing.
I have all their albums.

Like, I can't even believe
she's dating Maggie.

I love Jules and
all but this girl wants some front row concert tickets.

I'm sure the entire town
is talking about it.

What? This town?

No!

It's kinda funny,
though.

What's funny?

That Maggie now has two exes

in her hometown
at Christmas time.

That want her.

Want her?

Okay, well, I didn't say
that I wanted her.

I don't even care, okay?

It's not like we were even
dating or anything.

- We just --
- Kissed? I know!

Isn't that like second
base in the lesbian world?

I thought it was almost kiss,

kiss, and then move in together.

Whatever.
It's all over now anyways.

She's got
her hot musician girlfriend.

Optics.

That's all she
ever cared about.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Let's not forget,

you're the one who
stood her up

at the movies.
Did you not?

Yeah, but Tina --

I know, but she didn't
know that

when she was all alone,

waiting, at the movie theatre.
Heartbroken.

Don't let the cool, sexy,
successful, hot girl win.

Look at those titties.

Did you seriously heart this?

Keep your friends close

and your potential
best friends closer.

Isn't that the saying?

Uh, I thought I told you
to go rest?

I can handle this.

Okay. Okay.

You know?

I'm glad Maggie
got what she always wanted.

I'll never be the cool,
hot girl.

You could be if you...

brushed your hair.

I didn't order this.

What the hell are you doing?

Hmm? Sorry, ah,

this isn't yours.

Clearly.

What?

Gross.

Do you think Maggie knows why
I didn't show up at the theatre?

Yes.

- How --
- Any or all

of these people have

probably already told her.

Okay, look,
you're my best friend.

I could honestly tell
from the moment

you guys saw each other again

that you are still into her.

My intuition is that good.

Is it that obvious?

You guys are adults now,

but you seem
to keep acting like teenagers.

Adults tell each
other how they feel.

Tell her how you feel,

or I will.

You okay?

Yeah?

Okay, now, back to me.

I'm rehearsing my one-woman
play later today,

"Walk, Lola, Walk.
Don't stop. Keep running."

Are you able to come
and give notes?

And advice?

I'm, I'm not. No.

Maggie and Vi will be there.

What I meant was
I'm not, not coming.

Is it yes or no?

Double negatives confuse me.

Are you?

Ugh! Guys, can we fix
the light?

A little to the left,
please.

Has to be perfect.

Come on.

Spotlight on me, only me.

This seat taken?

The theatre is
literally empty.

Well, it's the best seat
in the house for the acoustics.

Whatever.

It was
Christmas Eve 1998,

it was when I first
discovered my...

vulva.

And now the dance of the --

Aren't you gonna introduce me?

Oh. Vi, this is Jules.

She works at the dinner.
Jules, Vi.

Now, let's watch Lola.

Nice to meet you.

How long is this gonna go?

I'm actually a chef at
a world-renowned restaurant in New York.

Cool.

Everyone died

from food poisoning.

My mother never
cooked again.

Vi's in a band,

but you probably
already knew that.

They're kinda famous.

They just sold out the Greek.

Hmm. I'm actually kinda
famous, too.

I wrote a cookbook.

It's a bestseller.

A town bestseller,

so let's not gloat.

And not to brag, but Vi's
bank account amount

looks like a phone number.

What, 911?

Sorry, are you
talking about me?

Guys, can you not talk
during my performance?

This is art. Art takes time.
Do not waste my time.

This is live theatre, Lola.

You gotta ignore
the distractions.

Yeah, you're lucky
that I'm even here.

True.

Thanks, guys.
Where was I?

Ah, yes. I remember
when my mother

picked up the pickle ornament.

The same ornament I had used
earlier to give birth.

Oh, so your phone does work.

And what is that
supposed to mean?

Sorry, I've gotta take this.

I'll be back later.

Just that you didn't call me
to tell me about Tina.

I had to hear about it
from Lola.

Okay, look, I'm sorry I was a
little preoccupied

taking care of my sick mother
and I didn't think

to call you right away.

At all.
You didn't call me at all.

Okay. Look, I'm sorry
I didn't call you.

It's fine.

It's clearly not fine.

Well, it's over now.

Okay --

Shh! Just watch Lola.

We shouldn't be talking.

Sorry. Hey.

Hey.

Tippy tap, tap, tap.
Tap, tap, tap.

Did I miss something?

No.

Well, Lola lived.

Lola will always live.

Lola!

So,

what's with you and Julie?

Jules?

Same thing.

What do you mean?

Come on, Mags,

you two are acting
like two angry exes.

Uh, okay, I would never wanna
date someone like her.

Hmm, okay.

You sure?
'‘Cause you seemed pretty upset

when you left the theatre.

Yeah, well,
I thought that she was my friend

and she treats me
like I'm nothing,

so...

look, I don't wanna talk
about her anymore.

- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

Hmm, okay.

There... may have
been an ulterior motive

to me coming here
for Christmas.

What is it?

So, I just found out
from my label

that I'm going on tour.

On tour?

Yeah, so, six months
in Europe

and then headed to Asia
for like, another six months.

And... I want you to come
with me.

That's a whole year.

Yeah, but I mean,
you said it yourself,

you wanted to take a
little break from acting.

This is perfect timing.

Yeah. Yeah, I know but...

Look,

I could do this without you.

But I don't want to.

You're my muse.

I want you with me.

Are you sure you want me
tagging along?

I don't wanna get
in the way.

There's only we in this
relationship.

Not me.

I wanna do this together.

You don't have to answer me
right now but...

just think about it. Okay?

I don't need
to think about it.

I'm in.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm in.

I knew you'd say yes.

Door open, ladies.

I hope you're joking.

I keep forgetting
that you're adults.

Carry on and have fun.

Honest to God, Gladys, be cool.

Oh, my God.

Sorry.

No. I'm just glad
you're coming.

Me too.

Maggie,

this is from your father and I.

Well, when you open it,

he's going to be just as
surprised as you are.

He never knows what we get you.

Well, I paid for it.

Oh, my God, Richard,
it doesn't matter.

Oh...

Mom, Dad,
I... I can't accept it.

- What is it?
- What the hell?

You guys got me socks
and underwear.

How is this fair?

What is it, a car?

You live rent free.

Maybe if you get your own place

and start paying rent,

I'll start buying something
more expensive for you, too.

Socks and underwear are fine.

Maggie, we just don't want
you to give up on your dreams.

We've really loved having you
at home this year.

I mean,

we just wanna help out a little.

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

Just promise me you'll come
home as much as you can, okay?

I promise.

Okay, sweetheart.

Seriously,
what did we get you?

It's actual chicken scratch.

I don't even know
how Dad could read this.

All of those recipes
were in his head.

I had to beg for him to write
it down before he died.

Two tablespoons of "goopa"?

"Goaba"?

I actually think he might
have made up ingredients

just to mess with us.

Knowing your father,

that wouldn't surprise me.

I've tried this recipe every
Christmas for the last 15 years

and I can't seem
to get it right.

Do you think Dad would
have been proud of me?

Ah, he would have been proud
of you if you were a dishwasher.

He just wanted you
to be happy.

No matter what you did.

I really miss him.

His bad puns and his long,
overdrawn stories.

And his bad singing.

The voice of a dying cat.

Maybe we should make
something else.

Honestly, it's fun
to just cook with you,

even if we don't get it right.

Why don't we start again?

I think there's some "goaba"
in the fridge.

I think you mean "goopa,"
It's on the shelf.

What does that say?

Butter.

Oh.

- Hi.
- Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, you finally nailed
your dad's holiday pie?

Only took 16 years.

Is Joe here?
I heard he'd be here?

Oh, don't you dare go home
with Joe tonight.

I'm sorry,
he's the one for me.

Oh, Mom!
Higher standards.

Mom!

Hi, guys.
Hi.

How are you?
Can I get you a drink?

Hi, Joe.
How are you?

Hi.

You can't be mad at me.

It's Christmas.

It's like a reset for the year.

I'm not mad anymore.

Um...

Vi invited me on
tour with them

and we leave tomorrow,

and honestly,
I'm really excited, so.

Can, can we talk quick?

Okay. What's up?

Like,

somewhere a little more private?

Oh, lemon in there.

I'll go get some snacks.
How's that sound?

Yes!

- I'll be right back.
- Snacks.

Please. Please.

Sure. Yeah.

Well, I've heard
things about you, Lola.

A lot of things about you.

Wow.

What?

Literally nothing
has changed in this room.

You still have this?

Okay, well, yeah.
I'm a hoarder, clearly.

So, what's up?

I quit my job in New York.

What?

I, I don't understand.
Why would you do that?

'‘Cause I would rather
be remembered

by the people that I love

than by strangers
that I don't know.

That's great, Jules.

-Maggie! Maggie!
- Um...we should get going.

Wait, wait.

There's something else.

Don't go on tour with Vi.

What?

I am sorry
that it has taken me so long

to show up for you
like you've always needed me to.

You've always been
in the back of my mind

and I don't wanna spend ten
more seconds without you.

I choose us, Maggie.

I love you.

Um,

I think you're gonna
wanna come downstairs.

Maggie.

What's going on?

Maggie Catherine Pierce.

Oh no.

You are my inspiration,

my ingenuity, my vision.

I know I've thrown a lot
of curveballs at you this trip

but there's one more.

Marry me.

Um...

I know,
you're at a loss for words.

I...

Do you wanna be my wife?

For Christ's sake,

you two are so wrong
for one another.

It's obvious who Magie
should be with.

Uh...

Vi, wait. Wait, wait.

The amount of talking
in this family.

It just goes on and on.

Can't a woman sleep in peace?

Vi!

Vi, wait!

Vi, wait.

Just open the -- Vi!

No. No,
no, no, no. Fuck!

Run!

- Seriously?
- Go get her.

Okay.

And now, a new
single from the Sadies.

This song is good.

♪ I need to take this chance

♪ I know I should keep
my distance ♪

♪ Last time that I saw you

♪ You gave me those eyes
and I think I found it ♪

I thought
lesbians were supposed to be good at directions.

This is painful.

♪ Oh, I want you back
in my life ♪

Come on,
pick up, pick up.

♪ I know I can I keep it
together ♪

♪ Oh, I want you back
in my life ♪

Side window!
Side window! Side window!

Can someone
do something!

♪ I love my ex

♪ Oh, I love my ex

♪ I love my ex
I love my ex ♪

♪ Oh, I love my ex
I love my ex ♪

Vi.

Vi, I'm sorry.

What is this town,
a maze?

I feel so stupid.

Don't. Look, I'm sorry,
it was just...

it was way too soon.

I'm not talking
about the proposal.

I can't believe I was too stupid
not to see what was going on

between you and Jessica.

It's Jules.

Whatever.

Nothing was happening
between us.

Yeah, well, we did kiss.

You kissed?

When?

A few days ago.

Yes, but we were broken up.

Wait, wait, was this
the same night

that I arrived?

No, of course not.

Wait, did you get back
with your ex,

the same night
that Tina had a heart attack?

Okay, first of all,
it was angina, and,

how did this get
turned back on me?

How did you fall in love with
someone you barely know,

so quickly?

Did I really mean
that little to you?

No, Vi!

Barely knew?

We dated for two years
in high school.

Really.

I can explain.

And this is exactly why I
don't date small-town lesbians.

- It's just too messy.
- Oh, please.

Like L.A. is any better.

The chart looks
like a fucking galaxy.

Okay, let me
just get this straight.

So, you got back
with your ex the same night.

No!

Which means you didn't
actually like me.

And you never even told her
that we dated?

It's been over ten years
and you're still hiding me.

And then to top it all off,

you had the audacity
to get mad at me?

Am I missing anything here?

I think you
nailed it there, Jamie.

The only good thing
to come from all of this

is that I'm gonna get one hell
of a break-up album.

I cannot wait
to listen to that.

You... you haven't
changed one bit.

Guys, wait.

How to lose two girls
in ten minutes.

The Maggie Pierce story.

You know what? Maybe next
year you can bring home Fern.

It'll be a yearly
ex-mas tradition.

You know, it's only fun
to rip on you when you rip back.

Talk to me. You okay?

I think I really messed
up this time.

Well, stay
and make it up to Jules.

Or if you don't want Jules,

go back to L.A.
and make it up to Vi.

It's actually
pretty simple.

I vote throuple.

But no one seems
to be asking for my opinion.

Hello?

God, so annoying.

I don't even know how
I'd get her back.

And "her" is?

I gotta go.

Gonna miss my flight.

Wait, who's her, Mags?

No, wait, wait, tell me,
who is her?

Jules? No, Vi.

It's Vi. Lola.

Everyone's wearing
blazers

and I'm just wearing like this.
You see it?

Why are we so profesh?

It's business casual.

Guys, I thought it was
disco. It's disco.

This is business casual
for Lola.

Let's be real.

- Yeah.
- Let's be real.

Let's be real.
But I love it. Love it.

Hey, you guys.

Oh, thanks.

I made it a double.

She's in L.A.

There was a tiny part
of me that thought maybe,

she'd still pick me.

Cheer up. It's going
to be a new year.

Maybe it's time to
get back out there.

There are a ton
of eligible women here.

Like who?

Megan. She just got
a key to the city.

The whole city?

They really will just give
that key to anyone.

Thanks, guys, but I feel like

maybe I'm just meant
to be alone.

It's in my
DNA. Like Tina.

My sweet hero.

Well, I'm rooting
for you and Megan.

Happy New Year.

Two minutes till midnight!

Hey, what are you doing here?

Um, where's Jules?

Um, I don't know,
she's here somewhere.

Okay.

I know we saw each other last
night but I already miss you.

I made a mistake.

I am such an idiot.

Can you forgive me?

Don't go spending
that 50 bucks.

I hate that I chose L.A.
over you.

I hate that when I come home,
it's not to you,

and I hate
that I'm the reason why.

I miss talking to you.

I miss you
every single day.

Babe, what are you --

I wanna be your midnight kiss
every year, forever.

Happy New Years, Jules.

Okay, people,
give them some privacy.

God, why is everyone
so nosy in this town?

This is the phone that I had

when we graduated high school.

You know you can
recycle it, right?

On it are drafts and drafts
of text messages

that I never sent you.

I thought
about you a lot, Jules.

Every single day, actually.

Even after we broke up.

And I should have told
you all of this

when we were still together,

and when I went to L.A.,

and even when we saw
each other this year.

But here it is.

I'm yours

if you want me.

Please say you want me.

Attention, everyone,
I, Maggie Pierce,

am completely and utterly
in love with Julianne Alba.

Jules,

you are impossible
to forget.

Of course I still want you.

One!

Happy New Year!

I just heard a rumour that
Maggie's going to propose soon.

But that doesn't make any sense
to me

because I thought Julianne
was the top.

But it would appear
that Maggie is the top.

Oh, I need to read
the lesbian handbook again,

that chapter about
when your ex dates your ex's ex.

That's too confusing.

Are all lesbians exes?

All of them?

Maggie and Julianne,
they moved to New York together,

and she got a recurring role
on a show as a lesbian nun.

And now,
all of America loves her.

Give her an Oscar already!

If it wasn't for me meddling
in people's affairs,

I really don't
know if Mags and Jules would have gotten together.

Did you hear about the Smiths?

They died.

Technically, they're
doing a year-long cruise,

but what's the difference?
This town speaks in gossips.

It's alive.
It's '‘cause of me.

Okay, come on, we're late.

I am an ugly, ugly man.

Woo!

I would do me, 100 percent.

Okay, let's get going!

Wait! And one more.

Introducing...

O'Holly Night.

You could have shaved, Joe.

Wow.

So, this is every year?

Every year.

Let's do it.

Yes!

♪ I don't need pretty lights
on Christmas morning ♪

♪ Round the tree

♪ Santa been taking his sweet
time and there's no guarantee ♪

♪ That her and me
were meant to be ♪

♪ But I've been waiting
so patiently ♪

♪ She is the reason I am full
with happiness this season ♪

♪ Not a jingle or a bell
could make me smile till Christmas day ♪

♪ I'll make her mine
this holiday ♪

♪ Da, da, do
Da, da, da, do ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, do

♪ I don't need sugar plums
or candy canes to get my fix ♪

♪ She's sweet enough to keep me
until December 26 ♪

♪ And she could be with me

♪ Oh, I've been waiting
so patiently ♪

♪ She is the reason I am full
with happiness this season ♪

♪ Not a jingle or a bell
could make me smile till Christmas day ♪

♪ I'll make her mine
this holiday ♪

♪ You are the reason I am full
with happiness this season ♪

♪ Not a jingle or a bell
could make me smile till Christmas day ♪

♪ I'll make you mine
this holiday ♪

♪ Da, da, da, do
Da, da, da do, do ♪

♪ Da, da, da, do
Da, da, da, do ♪

♪ Da, da, da, do
Da, da, da, da, do ♪

♪ Da, da, da, do
Da, da, da do ♪

♪ Da, da, da, do
Da, da, da do ♪♪

Subtitling: difuze