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1
00:00:02,289 --> 00:00:04,394
Shitty thing.
2
00:00:04,532 --> 00:00:06,017
Guillermo-- He doesn'�t
live here anymore.
3
00:00:06,189 --> 00:00:08,122
How is it? I can'�t see.
4
00:00:08,295 --> 00:00:11,056
Tonight we are attending
a very special event.
5
00:00:12,057 --> 00:00:13,265
Ha!
6
00:00:13,438 --> 00:00:15,129
Aye, fuck.
7
00:00:15,302 --> 00:00:19,616
The Baron is receiving
an eternal lifetime achievement award.
8
00:00:19,789 --> 00:00:24,035
I have never heard
of such a thing, but it sounds very cool.
9
00:00:25,967 --> 00:00:28,384
[Nadja] It is about time
our Baron got recognized
10
00:00:28,556 --> 00:00:31,387
for all the incredible work
he does in our local community.
11
00:00:31,559 --> 00:00:33,458
- Yeah.
- He has done so much for all of us,
12
00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:36,357
- both as a leader
and as a reliable lay. - [Laszlo] Yeah.
13
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,015
Of course I am quite accustomed
to being exalted...
14
00:00:39,222 --> 00:00:42,122
- [Sire growling]
- ...praised, feared. [laughs]
15
00:00:42,294 --> 00:00:44,814
But this shall be
a night to remember.
16
00:00:44,986 --> 00:00:47,886
Alas, no. The Sire
cannot make it.
17
00:00:48,024 --> 00:00:50,751
Our usual sitter just started
at Northwestern and, well...
18
00:00:50,923 --> 00:00:52,097
- [retches]
- Oh!
19
00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:54,341
You know how hard it is
to find someone new.
20
00:00:54,548 --> 00:00:57,068
- Baron, give us a twirl.
- [chuckling] Oh, no.
21
00:00:57,206 --> 00:00:59,622
- [Nandor] Yes, please, Baron.
- [Nadja] Look at him go. Wow.
22
00:00:59,794 --> 00:01:01,313
- [Nandor] Spin, Baron, spin.
- [Nadja] Wow.
23
00:01:01,486 --> 00:01:04,489
Look at you all.
Where are we going?
24
00:01:04,661 --> 00:01:07,008
We are going to an event
to honor the Baron.
25
00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:08,769
- Oh.
- [Nandor] And you are not.
26
00:01:08,941 --> 00:01:11,841
- Oh.
- Because you have made it very clear
27
00:01:12,013 --> 00:01:15,983
that your future lies with
the humans, not the vampires.
28
00:01:16,156 --> 00:01:18,641
- That'�s not fair.
- [Nandor] Guillermo, we are a family.
29
00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:20,643
- Right.
- We will always be a family.
30
00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:23,818
- Thank you. [chuckles]
- And you are no longer part of the family.
31
00:01:23,991 --> 00:01:26,994
- Capisce?
- Because you rejected your vampire family.
32
00:01:27,167 --> 00:01:28,789
- I didn'�t--
- Yeah. The "vamily."
33
00:01:29,479 --> 00:01:32,172
Oh. Colin Robinson, no.
34
00:01:32,344 --> 00:01:34,312
- Hell-lo.
- Here he is.
35
00:01:34,484 --> 00:01:35,658
- Shall we saddle up?
- Yes.
36
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,487
Well, why does the monster get
to go and not me?
37
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:39,455
- "Vamily."
- [Colin] Yeah.
38
00:01:39,593 --> 00:01:42,113
- [Nadja] No, not him as well.
- [Laszlo] Very good. [laughs]
39
00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:21,324
Yeah, I'�m a little hurt
I'�m not going to the vampire gathering tonight,
40
00:02:21,497 --> 00:02:23,947
but it'�s probably
for the best, you know?
41
00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:28,089
Besides, I already made plans
to hang out with my cousin Miguel.
42
00:02:28,745 --> 00:02:31,541
Actually, Miguel and I
used to be really close when I was little.
43
00:02:32,404 --> 00:02:35,062
But then he kinda became
this, like, jock.
44
00:02:35,235 --> 00:02:37,409
We grew apart,
45
00:02:37,582 --> 00:02:40,861
but our moms are determined
that we be really good friends. [chuckles]
46
00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:45,176
We'�re gonna... hang out.
47
00:02:51,285 --> 00:02:54,046
- Miguel! Hey. [chuckling]
- Hey. How you doing?
48
00:02:54,219 --> 00:02:56,256
[laughing] You love it.
49
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:57,567
- No, I don'�t.
- Yeah, you do.
50
00:02:57,740 --> 00:03:00,225
No, I don'�t. [chuckling]
I really don'�t.
51
00:03:00,398 --> 00:03:03,435
We should'�ve done this sooner.
I was working at this job, you know?
52
00:03:03,608 --> 00:03:06,611
It was crazy. I had to
get outta there. I was starting to lose my mind--
53
00:03:06,783 --> 00:03:09,096
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Memo.
I don'�t need the whole pinche novella, okay?
54
00:03:09,752 --> 00:03:10,822
Losers first.
55
00:03:11,029 --> 00:03:11,788
[Miguel] Go get '�em, slugger.
56
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:13,894
Oh!
57
00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:15,792
Strike one!
58
00:03:15,965 --> 00:03:17,415
Little out of practice
there, Memo?
59
00:03:17,587 --> 00:03:19,071
I don'�t think
I was ever in practice.
60
00:03:19,244 --> 00:03:20,487
What are you talking about?
61
00:03:20,694 --> 00:03:22,351
We used to play all the time
when we were little.
62
00:03:22,523 --> 00:03:23,766
Ah!
63
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,940
[Miguel] Gotta keep your eyes
on the ball, Memo.
64
00:03:26,113 --> 00:03:30,290
[Nandor] There it is.
Every gang in the tristate area is here. How delightful.
65
00:03:30,462 --> 00:03:33,431
- [hisses]
- [Colin] Yeah. Looks like everyone came out to play.
66
00:03:33,603 --> 00:03:35,467
- [Nandor] Salutations.
- [Colin] The Warriors. Walter Hill. 1979.
67
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:36,641
Exciting.
68
00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:41,197
- [Laszlo] What a turnout.
- [Nadja] Look up there. It'�s the Fly Guys.
69
00:03:41,404 --> 00:03:44,511
[Nandor]
Oh, wow. I haven'�t seen the Lower East Side Vampire Punks
70
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,341
since one spat on me in 1983.
71
00:03:47,514 --> 00:03:49,964
I was cool with it.
It'�s what we did back then.
72
00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:53,416
- Hello, Hamptons vampires.
- Like, "Hampires."
73
00:03:53,589 --> 00:03:55,591
- Stop it!
- I hate these dipshits.
74
00:03:55,763 --> 00:03:59,180
But kinda makes you proud,
you know? Our people.
75
00:03:59,353 --> 00:04:02,632
[chuckling]
So, this is all for me?
76
00:04:02,805 --> 00:04:05,325
- Baron Afanas, there you are.
- [Baron] Ah.
77
00:04:05,497 --> 00:04:06,533
- Hi.
- Hello.
78
00:04:06,740 --> 00:04:08,638
You look lovely tonight.
79
00:04:08,811 --> 00:04:11,296
- [chuckles]
- I mean, you look lovely every night.
80
00:04:11,469 --> 00:04:13,333
- We all look lovely tonight.
- Ugh.
81
00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:15,887
- You included.
- Thank you.
82
00:04:16,059 --> 00:04:18,717
All right. I'�m just going
to bring you up to the stage,
83
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,719
- and then Jerry
will introduce you. - [growls]
84
00:04:20,892 --> 00:04:23,481
- [Nandor] Jerry is here?
- Who Jerry?
85
00:04:23,653 --> 00:04:25,828
Jerry'�s the one who put on
this whole event.
86
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,900
Look out, Manhattan all-girls
private-school vampires.
87
00:04:29,072 --> 00:04:32,524
Vicious, ruthless killers,
both socially and in a murder sense.
88
00:04:32,697 --> 00:04:34,008
What'�s up, girlies?
89
00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:37,149
- [girls scoff, laugh]
- Ew.
90
00:04:37,322 --> 00:04:38,116
- Hey!
- Told ya.
91
00:04:39,048 --> 00:04:41,153
- Check one, check two.
- [Nandor] Cute.
92
00:04:42,085 --> 00:04:44,156
Hello. Hi.
93
00:04:44,329 --> 00:04:46,952
[Nandor] I can'�t believe
this total zero gets to introduce the Baron Afanas.
94
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:48,575
Doesn'�t seem right.
95
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,267
He hasn'�t even sucked him off,
let alone been nuts deep.
96
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,682
- [shushes]
- All right.
97
00:04:52,855 --> 00:04:54,201
- Just be quiet.
- [Laszlo] You be quiet.
98
00:04:54,374 --> 00:04:57,066
Can you count, suckers?
99
00:04:57,238 --> 00:05:00,518
- [vampires cheering]
- [air horn blows]
100
00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:02,520
[Jerry] Look around you.
101
00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:05,212
Look at all
these different vampires,
102
00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:07,145
- all gathered together as one.
- [vampires cheer]
103
00:05:07,318 --> 00:05:09,492
[Jerry] Yes. How about it?
104
00:05:09,665 --> 00:05:11,563
We'�ve got our
Coney Island carny vampires...
105
00:05:11,736 --> 00:05:13,151
[vampires cheering, applauding]
106
00:05:13,324 --> 00:05:15,498
[Jerry] ...side by side
with our leatherette vampires.
107
00:05:15,671 --> 00:05:18,708
- We'�ve got
our Rockaway surfers... - [air horns blow]
108
00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:21,642
...right next to
our JFK TSA vampires.
109
00:05:21,815 --> 00:05:26,820
- Thank you for your service!
- This city doesn'�t bleed without you all.
110
00:05:26,992 --> 00:05:28,684
[cheering]
111
00:05:28,856 --> 00:05:31,169
- [Nandor] Yes!
- That'�s right! That'�s right, Jerry!
112
00:05:31,307 --> 00:05:35,863
Tonight we'�ve gathered to hear
from our esteemed leader...
113
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,935
- [cheering]
- ...the great Baron Afanas.
114
00:05:39,108 --> 00:05:43,630
Our supreme commander
in charge of our conquest of the New World.
115
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:44,976
[Nandor] Yes, conquest!
116
00:05:47,944 --> 00:05:49,912
At least,
that was the plan, right?
117
00:05:50,602 --> 00:05:51,983
- [cheering stops]
- Wasn'�t it?
118
00:05:52,155 --> 00:05:53,364
Taking over the New World?
119
00:05:55,227 --> 00:05:56,919
- [vampire 1 clears throat]
- People feeling good about it?
120
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:58,748
I'�m just asking questions.
I don'�t know.
121
00:05:58,921 --> 00:06:02,752
Maybe the Baron
will be able to provide some of these answers tonight.
122
00:06:02,925 --> 00:06:06,549
Maybe there'�s
a perfectly good explanation
123
00:06:06,722 --> 00:06:10,898
for why we were
sent here 250 years ago to conquer the continent
124
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,246
and we still find ourselves
cowering in the shadows.
125
00:06:16,179 --> 00:06:19,320
- Do you have an answer
for that? Do you know why? - [Nandor] What'�s this shit?
126
00:06:19,493 --> 00:06:21,357
- [vampire 2]
When can we move on? - Jerry.
127
00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:23,601
That introduction
I cannot live up to.
128
00:06:23,773 --> 00:06:26,673
- Thank you, thank you.
-'�Cause here'�s what I wanna know.
129
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,296
- [Laszlo] What the fuck?
- [Jerry] Does the fault lie in ourselves?
130
00:06:29,469 --> 00:06:31,436
Does it lie in our stars?
131
00:06:32,161 --> 00:06:33,231
Or...
132
00:06:34,439 --> 00:06:37,477
- does it lie in our leadership?
- [vampires clamoring]
133
00:06:37,649 --> 00:06:39,789
- [vampire 4] He has a point!
- I'�m genuinely asking. I don'�t know.
134
00:06:39,962 --> 00:06:41,204
- [The Guide] Hey, hey.
- [Laszlo] What is he talking about?
135
00:06:41,342 --> 00:06:43,310
Move! [grunts]
136
00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:46,762
Gimme that. How dare you
disrespect this man?
137
00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:49,523
- [Laszlo] Hear! Hear!
- This is the great,
138
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:52,457
the beautiful Baron Afanas.
139
00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:57,497
[cheering]
140
00:06:57,669 --> 00:07:01,466
And this man, this mixer
of boiling hot feces,
141
00:07:01,639 --> 00:07:03,364
he knows not of his place.
142
00:07:03,537 --> 00:07:07,161
He'�s nothing but a sower
of discontent and disrespect.
143
00:07:07,334 --> 00:07:08,991
- [spits]
- [grunts] Let me see that.
144
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:10,510
- [Nadja] Puttana! No!
- Let me see that.
145
00:07:10,682 --> 00:07:12,028
- No. No. Shut up!
- Hold on. Hold on.
146
00:07:12,201 --> 00:07:14,755
- [monster growling]
- No. No, no, don'�t--
147
00:07:14,928 --> 00:07:16,170
[crowd gasps]
148
00:07:19,588 --> 00:07:21,106
- [whimpers]
- [Laszlo] Ah!
149
00:07:21,279 --> 00:07:22,694
[monster groans]
150
00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:25,559
- [Baron] Uh--
- Okay. Uh, that was not my fault.
151
00:07:25,732 --> 00:07:27,734
- [Nadja chuckles]
- [gasping, murmuring]
152
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,564
- [monster growls]
- [vampire 5] Jerry was killed by that Frankenstein monster!
153
00:07:30,737 --> 00:07:32,463
- [crowd clamoring]
- It'�s Cravensworth'�s monster.
154
00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:34,534
Run! Run!
155
00:07:34,706 --> 00:07:37,502
They killed Jerry!
The Staten Island vampires killed Jerry!
156
00:07:37,675 --> 00:07:40,022
- No, we didn'�t.
- Kill them!
157
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,782
- [crowd shouting]
- We should get the fuck out of here!
158
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,964
[vampire 7] Kill them!
159
00:08:05,599 --> 00:08:07,705
Fucking hell.
How many bats are up there?
160
00:08:07,877 --> 00:08:09,879
[Nadja] So flying home
is not an option.
161
00:08:10,052 --> 00:08:12,399
[Nandor] Where do we go,
what do we do and how do we do it?
162
00:08:12,572 --> 00:08:16,058
[whimpers] We need to get home.
Which way is home? Is it north?
163
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,578
- I'�m certain we are south.
- No. No, we'�re not. I'�m feeling east.
164
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,234
[Colin] You know
I can'�t fly, you dicks.
165
00:08:20,407 --> 00:08:22,685
[Nadja] Ah. Colin Robinson,
do you know how to get home?
166
00:08:22,858 --> 00:08:24,894
- No, I have no idea. I...
- [groans]
167
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:28,380
I never thought
I'�d ever say this, but I think we need to call Gizmo.
168
00:08:28,553 --> 00:08:29,968
- [Nadja] Ah! Yes.
- Yes, great idea.
169
00:08:30,693 --> 00:08:33,696
Guillermo!
170
00:08:33,869 --> 00:08:36,457
Not like that,
you fucking idiot. With the phone that he'�s doing.
171
00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:38,287
I can also try echolocating.
172
00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:41,670
- [vocalizes]
- Nadja, I'�m on the phone!
173
00:08:41,842 --> 00:08:43,568
[Miguel] Come one, man.
That'�s why you gotta concentrate.
174
00:08:43,741 --> 00:08:45,294
[Guillermo] I was concentrating.
175
00:08:45,466 --> 00:08:47,538
- [grunts]
- So this new job has a documentary about it too?
176
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:51,818
No, it'�s actually
the same documentary.
177
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,303
It just now follows a guy
who quits his old job
178
00:08:54,475 --> 00:08:56,650
and goes out into
the regular world.
179
00:08:56,823 --> 00:09:00,309
Okay, word. So it'�s like
Sling Blade. But boring.
180
00:09:00,481 --> 00:09:02,587
Know what, Miguel? This is why
I don'�t hang out with you.
181
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,796
You don'�t hang out
with any of the familia.
182
00:09:04,969 --> 00:09:08,144
I don'�t because every time I do,
they make me feel guilty that I'�m always busy.
183
00:09:08,317 --> 00:09:10,457
This was a mistake.
I'�m sorry. I'�m gonna go, okay?
184
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:13,494
Hey, hey. Come on, Memo.
I'�m not mad at you, man.
185
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:16,083
We love you.
All right? We were worried.
186
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,396
We never saw you.
You'�re out there on your own.
187
00:09:18,569 --> 00:09:20,260
You never even talked
about having any friends.
188
00:09:20,432 --> 00:09:22,573
Don'�t worry about me, okay?
I have plenty of friends.
189
00:09:22,745 --> 00:09:25,334
Oh, really? That'�s great.
Name me one friend. Like, who'�s your best friend?
190
00:09:25,506 --> 00:09:28,095
That would be, uh, Nandor.
191
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,614
Nandor?
192
00:09:29,787 --> 00:09:31,754
My-- My boss. My ex-boss.
He'�s not my boss anymore.
193
00:09:31,927 --> 00:09:33,825
Your best friend
is your former boss?
194
00:09:33,998 --> 00:09:35,793
- [phone buzzing]
- I know, okay? It'�s complicated, but...
195
00:09:35,965 --> 00:09:36,725
Wait.
196
00:09:37,449 --> 00:09:38,554
Colin?
197
00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,245
Wait, slow down. What?
198
00:09:42,593 --> 00:09:45,423
[Miguel] Here we go,
Mr. Drama Queen. Just like always.
199
00:09:45,596 --> 00:09:48,322
Every time we start to have fun,
you all of a sudden have an emergency somewhere.
200
00:09:48,495 --> 00:09:50,704
- My friends need help.
They'�re in danger. - In danger?
201
00:09:50,877 --> 00:09:53,017
It'�s gonna sound crazy,
but someone'�s trying to kill them.
202
00:09:53,638 --> 00:09:56,227
- What the fuck?
- Just please let me go.
203
00:09:56,399 --> 00:09:58,678
No, no. Fuck that.
I'�m going with you, all right? Let'�s roll.
204
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,300
You don'�t even know them.
Why would you wanna come?
205
00:10:00,472 --> 00:10:02,440
I don'�t need to know them.
206
00:10:02,613 --> 00:10:04,338
You'�re my familia, all right?
I have to have your back. Let'�s go.
207
00:10:06,478 --> 00:10:08,860
- Okay.
- An attack on your friends is an attack on all of us.
208
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:10,828
Seat belt on.
209
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,071
Wait. You should know
before we go that my friends, they'�re...
210
00:10:13,244 --> 00:10:14,003
they'�re not like
211
00:10:15,384 --> 00:10:17,904
the regular people
that you know.
212
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,527
Memo, will you chill out?
I have gay friends, all right? It'�s not a big deal. !�A�ndale!
213
00:10:23,461 --> 00:10:24,945
[girls giggling]
214
00:10:25,118 --> 00:10:27,085
And remember,
when we find them, I get dibs
215
00:10:27,258 --> 00:10:29,985
- on killing the one with
the really gross man bun. - [girl 1] So cringe.
216
00:10:30,157 --> 00:10:32,435
[girls laugh]
217
00:10:32,608 --> 00:10:34,472
- [girl 2]
They'�re not here. Let'�s go. - [girl 1] Okay, let'�s go.
218
00:10:34,645 --> 00:10:35,956
[rumbling]
219
00:10:39,511 --> 00:10:42,445
- Okay. That was not
supposed to go that way. - [cat screeches]
220
00:10:42,618 --> 00:10:45,828
I cannot believe that Jerry
betrayed the Baron like that.
221
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:48,244
As long as you are all right,
that'�s all that matters.
222
00:10:48,417 --> 00:10:50,661
- Ugh.
- [The Guide] I have been serving Jerry for months.
223
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,939
I feel so betrayed.
I'�m so sorry.
224
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,873
I hear you, I hear you.
You know, trust is essential--
225
00:10:56,045 --> 00:10:58,841
Um-- We'�re just gonna
give you guys a minute. Just give you some...
226
00:10:59,014 --> 00:11:00,843
[Nandor] Sounds like
this Jerry does not get...
227
00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:05,054
Laszlo, why did your monster
flip the fuck out and pop Jerry'�s head?
228
00:11:05,227 --> 00:11:08,126
He was just performing
his duties as a protector.
229
00:11:08,299 --> 00:11:12,061
Well, then how do I know that
he might not just flip out one day and pop my head?
230
00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:14,581
- My monster would never do that.
- How could you be so sure?
231
00:11:14,754 --> 00:11:17,584
Look at the mess
that thing has created.
232
00:11:17,757 --> 00:11:22,278
That lumbering,
demented donkey of a creature is clearly capable of anything.
233
00:11:22,451 --> 00:11:26,697
No, no, no. He'�s not.
My darling, my monster would never hurt you.
234
00:11:26,869 --> 00:11:28,526
I didn'�t want you to know,
235
00:11:28,699 --> 00:11:31,080
but the sole objective
of creating him in the first place
236
00:11:31,253 --> 00:11:32,564
was to keep you safe.
237
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,532
What?
238
00:11:34,705 --> 00:11:37,535
My darling, if anything were
to happen to me,
239
00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:39,571
- you would be protected.
- [laughs]
240
00:11:39,744 --> 00:11:41,539
- What?
- When have I ever needed protecting
241
00:11:41,712 --> 00:11:42,747
from anything or anyone?
242
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,404
I knew you'�d react like this.
243
00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:46,095
For the record, my darling,
244
00:11:46,268 --> 00:11:49,236
I was a vampire
on my own for centuries.
245
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,652
Before you came along,
Mr. Cravensworth,
246
00:11:51,825 --> 00:11:56,485
I once ripped
an entire pack of werewolves to shreds with my bare fangs
247
00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:59,660
and then scattered
their entrails on the road like a confetti.
248
00:11:59,833 --> 00:12:03,630
- I'�ve heard this story
a thousand-- - Ah! A confetti.
249
00:12:07,151 --> 00:12:08,842
[Laszlo] The skies are clear.
250
00:12:09,015 --> 00:12:10,464
[The Guide] Let'�s try
to get our bearings.
251
00:12:10,637 --> 00:12:13,502
- [Nadja gasps] Look.
Look down there. - [chattering]
252
00:12:13,674 --> 00:12:17,609
Athletes preparing for
a baseball game? At this hour?
253
00:12:17,782 --> 00:12:20,820
They'�re not athletes,
you tit. They'�re the Bronx Bomber vampires.
254
00:12:20,992 --> 00:12:22,580
Well, they'�re looking for us.
255
00:12:22,753 --> 00:12:24,789
Good. Let'�s just take them on
and get this over with. [hisses]
256
00:12:24,962 --> 00:12:26,273
No, we should cross the bridge.
257
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,137
- [Nandor] Okay.
- [Nadja scoffs]
258
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:29,621
- [Colin] Keep walking.
- [The Guide] They'�re coming up here!
259
00:12:29,794 --> 00:12:31,520
- [Colin] Just keep walking.
- [bats squeaking]
260
00:12:31,692 --> 00:12:32,935
- [Nandor] What now?
- [Laszlo] Shit.
261
00:12:33,108 --> 00:12:36,145
Oh, no. It'�s the
Meatpacking District vampires.
262
00:12:36,318 --> 00:12:38,354
[Laszlo] As deadly
as they are beautiful.
263
00:12:38,527 --> 00:12:40,115
I wouldn'�t mind having
my meat packed.
264
00:12:40,287 --> 00:12:42,462
- This way. To the subway.
- [Nadja] Shut the fuck up.
265
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,913
- [Nandor] Flee! Down here!
- [Laszlo] We must run!
266
00:12:45,085 --> 00:12:47,122
[Laszlo] Come on.
Take cover fast!
267
00:12:47,294 --> 00:12:49,331
- [The Guide] Fuck yeah.
I see an entrance. - [bats squeaking]
268
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:50,850
[Nadja] Come on. Hurry.
269
00:12:51,022 --> 00:12:52,472
[The Guide] Does the subway
even go to Staten Island?
270
00:12:52,644 --> 00:12:54,543
- [Nandor] Stay close, Blondie.
- [Laszlo] What the fuck?
271
00:12:54,715 --> 00:12:56,787
- [Nandor] Hey. What'�s this shit?
- [The Guide yelps]
272
00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:58,789
- [Nadja] Great.
Jumping vampires. - [Laszlo] All right. Cool down.
273
00:12:58,961 --> 00:13:00,480
[Nadja] Is it hat vampires?
274
00:13:00,652 --> 00:13:02,723
- [Laszlo] Fuck off. Fuck off.
- [Nando] Oh, shit.
275
00:13:02,896 --> 00:13:04,760
[Nadja] No. What are they?
276
00:13:04,933 --> 00:13:06,037
These guys are the, uh...
277
00:13:06,210 --> 00:13:07,590
[hissing]
278
00:13:07,763 --> 00:13:10,455
I don'�t actually know
what kind of vampires these are.
279
00:13:10,628 --> 00:13:13,493
- Are they '�80s vampires?
- Breakdance vampires?
280
00:13:13,665 --> 00:13:16,634
No, I think they'�re
Fame the movie vampires,
281
00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:19,154
or Fame the TV show vampires.
282
00:13:19,326 --> 00:13:23,158
And the space suit fella
must represent MTV or something.
283
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:25,816
Then what'�s with
the riverboat gambler guy?
284
00:13:25,988 --> 00:13:27,576
[Colin] They lost me there.
I have no clue.
285
00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:29,681
You killed Jerry the vampire.
286
00:13:29,854 --> 00:13:32,339
No, no. That was done
by a random monster.
287
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,582
- Shazam!
- [The Guide] Uh-oh.
288
00:13:33,754 --> 00:13:35,826
- Five, six, seven, eight.
- [The Guide] No!
289
00:13:35,964 --> 00:13:37,689
- [? "Planet Rock" plays]
- [Nandor] What'�s this shit?
290
00:13:37,862 --> 00:13:39,691
- [The Guide] Ooh!
- [Nadja] Oh! Okay.
291
00:13:39,864 --> 00:13:42,211
They'�re twinkle-toe vampires.
I got this.
292
00:13:43,488 --> 00:13:44,765
[Nadja laughs]
293
00:13:44,938 --> 00:13:46,698
Have you ever seen feet move
at this medium pace?
294
00:13:46,871 --> 00:13:48,562
- [Laszlo] All right.
- [Nandor] That'�s a nice one. Aha!
295
00:13:48,735 --> 00:13:50,185
[The Guide] Oh.
296
00:13:50,357 --> 00:13:52,359
- [Laszlo] Fuck off. [hisses]
- [Colin] Wow.
297
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,603
- [The Guide] It'�s really good.
- [Nandor] Not bad.
298
00:13:54,775 --> 00:13:56,398
- Oh...
- [Laszlo] Fuck this shit.
299
00:13:57,226 --> 00:13:59,090
- [vampires grunt]
- [The Guide] What? What?
300
00:13:59,263 --> 00:14:00,851
- [Colin] Okay.
- [Nadja] What the fuck?
301
00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:02,266
- [air hissing]
- [groaning]
302
00:14:02,438 --> 00:14:03,681
[Nadja] Fuck, Laszlo!
303
00:14:03,854 --> 00:14:05,303
[Colin] They really weren'�t
that threatening.
304
00:14:05,476 --> 00:14:06,822
- [Nadja] You idiot.
- [Laszlo giggles]
305
00:14:06,995 --> 00:14:09,238
- [gambler vampire groans]
- [Colin] Well, he'�s dead.
306
00:14:09,411 --> 00:14:10,964
- [Nandor] Full house.
- I was handling it.
307
00:14:11,137 --> 00:14:12,207
- Sorry.
- [Nadja groans]
308
00:14:12,379 --> 00:14:13,725
Let'�s just keep moving,
all right?
309
00:14:13,898 --> 00:14:15,141
We'�ll get above ground...
310
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,625
- Okay.
- ...so Guillermo can find us.
311
00:14:16,797 --> 00:14:18,385
- [Nandor] Good idea.
- [Nadja] Whatever.
312
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,525
[Nandor] You know,
I really like it when you take charge.
313
00:14:24,115 --> 00:14:25,599
- [tires squealing]
- [Miguel] No, no, no.
314
00:14:25,772 --> 00:14:27,463
Don'�t worry about the address.
I'�ll text when I get it.
315
00:14:27,636 --> 00:14:30,087
Just gather '�em up.
Keep your phone on, all right? All right.
316
00:14:30,259 --> 00:14:31,916
- [phone beeps]
- Who was that?
317
00:14:32,089 --> 00:14:33,953
- Some friends.
In case we need backup. - [Guillermo] Backup?
318
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,783
You said your friends are gonna
get killed. I don'�t know what'�s gonna happen.
319
00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:38,612
- Where are they, man?
- I don'�t know, okay?
320
00:14:38,785 --> 00:14:41,270
Colin lost his location,
so maybe he lost reception.
321
00:14:41,443 --> 00:14:44,308
- I can try calling again.
I don'�t know. - Are these people even real?
322
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,482
Are you kidding me right now?
Yes, they'�re real.
323
00:14:46,655 --> 00:14:49,313
- Why would I be doing this
if they'�re not real? - I just had to check.
324
00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:52,178
- Had to check?
They'�re real, okay? Don'�t worry. - You'�re acting crazy.
325
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,008
They'�re my friends,
and they'�re vampires, so there'�s that.
326
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:57,252
- Did you just say
they'�re vampires? - Yeah.
327
00:14:57,424 --> 00:14:58,978
Actually, you met one of them.
328
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,980
- What?
- Yeah, but you attacked her.
329
00:15:01,152 --> 00:15:02,153
- [Miguel] The fuck?
- You attacked her.
330
00:15:02,326 --> 00:15:03,810
I would remember
something like that.
331
00:15:03,983 --> 00:15:05,743
How could you?
She hypnotized you.
332
00:15:05,916 --> 00:15:06,951
How you gonna remember, hmm?
333
00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:15,235
- You know what?
Let'�s just keep driving. - Yeah, let'�s keep driving.
334
00:15:15,408 --> 00:15:16,685
- [phone rings]
- [Guillermo] Oh, it'�s Colin.
335
00:15:16,857 --> 00:15:19,722
Hey, hey. Hi, Colin.
Where are you?
336
00:15:22,173 --> 00:15:23,105
[Colin] Okey dokey.
337
00:15:23,278 --> 00:15:26,660
I just got off the phone
with Gizmo
338
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:29,629
and gave him...
[grunting] ...our locash.
339
00:15:29,801 --> 00:15:31,355
You know, Laszlo,
340
00:15:31,527 --> 00:15:34,634
I had
those dancing vampire freaks in the palm of my hands.
341
00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:38,707
I do not need you
or your stupid monster to protect me.
342
00:15:38,879 --> 00:15:40,295
Is that what you think?
343
00:15:41,503 --> 00:15:46,370
My darling, I did not train
my monster to protect you
344
00:15:46,542 --> 00:15:48,959
because I thought
you could not live without me.
345
00:15:50,029 --> 00:15:51,547
I trained that monster
346
00:15:52,238 --> 00:15:54,412
because I cannot live
without you.
347
00:15:56,897 --> 00:15:58,209
Laszlo,
348
00:15:58,382 --> 00:16:01,109
I cannot live without you.
349
00:16:01,281 --> 00:16:04,975
But if something
was to happen to you and I was to lose you,
350
00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:07,701
it wouldn'�t be your protection
I would miss.
351
00:16:07,874 --> 00:16:09,358
It would be you.
352
00:16:09,531 --> 00:16:12,844
Your looks, the layers
in your hairs. Your wit.
353
00:16:13,569 --> 00:16:17,021
And the way you use
that extremely large hog.
354
00:16:17,194 --> 00:16:19,575
And that cannot be taught.
355
00:16:19,748 --> 00:16:21,232
- [giggling] No, it can'�t.
- [Nadja laughs]
356
00:16:21,405 --> 00:16:22,716
[Laszlo laughs]
357
00:16:22,889 --> 00:16:24,373
Aw. They'�re being sweet again.
358
00:16:25,616 --> 00:16:26,720
- Yes.
- [Nadja] The way that...
359
00:16:26,893 --> 00:16:28,619
Kinda makes you think,
doesn'�t it?
360
00:16:29,861 --> 00:16:31,070
Think about what?
361
00:16:31,829 --> 00:16:33,279
Well, isn'�t it obvious?
362
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:38,008
I have been searching for love
for so very long,
363
00:16:39,526 --> 00:16:41,183
and it was right here
the whole time.
364
00:16:41,356 --> 00:16:42,978
Right under my nose.
365
00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:46,050
In front of my nose.
366
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:50,020
- Me?
- You.
367
00:16:51,814 --> 00:16:53,575
[groans] Ugh.
368
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:55,715
- So, I'�ve watched
your search for love. - Mm-hmm.
369
00:16:55,887 --> 00:16:57,889
This one, that one.
370
00:16:58,062 --> 00:16:59,477
- Your dead wife.
- Yes.
371
00:16:59,684 --> 00:17:01,824
- Guillermo'�s boyfriend.
- Freddie.
372
00:17:02,032 --> 00:17:05,794
Gail. I mean, basically, anyone
and everyone who wasn'�t me.
373
00:17:05,966 --> 00:17:08,383
And I'�ve seen
after you won their hearts.
374
00:17:08,555 --> 00:17:10,074
It all falls apart.
375
00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:14,561
Because you'�re all about
the conquest, not the victory.
376
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,875
You'�re a good friend,
but you will never have me.
377
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:19,566
Ever.
378
00:17:21,396 --> 00:17:23,156
Sorry, could you
run that by me again?
379
00:17:23,329 --> 00:17:24,916
[chuckles]
I completely zoned out.
380
00:17:25,089 --> 00:17:28,368
I got ever so lost in those big,
381
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,922
- beautiful blue eyes of yours.
- [hinge creaking]
382
00:17:31,095 --> 00:17:33,166
[The Guide] I said
you'�ll never have me.
383
00:17:33,339 --> 00:17:36,238
I have a little bit
of self-respect. A little... [chuckling] ...bit.
384
00:17:36,825 --> 00:17:38,723
- [Nandor] I just feel
so ready for love. - Okay.
385
00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:41,001
- Mmm... Wait a minute.
What is that? - Hey.
386
00:17:41,174 --> 00:17:42,762
- [Nadja] Laszlo.
- [Laszlo] Oh, shit.
387
00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:45,627
- [Nandor] What the fuck?
- [Laszlo] Graveyard vampires.
388
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,112
- [graveyard vampires hissing]
- Well, you hang out in a graveyard,
389
00:17:48,285 --> 00:17:49,769
you can expect
spooky crap like this.
390
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:51,943
[Nadja] Oh, bloody fuck.
391
00:17:52,116 --> 00:17:53,635
- [Nandor] Should we...
- There'�s too many of them.
392
00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:55,775
- Run while you can.
- Yes, yes. Come on, Laszlo.
393
00:17:55,947 --> 00:17:56,879
- [Nandor] This way.
- Yes.
394
00:17:57,052 --> 00:17:58,122
Come on,
you skull fucks. [shouts]
395
00:17:58,295 --> 00:17:59,296
[snarling]
396
00:17:59,468 --> 00:18:03,058
[Nandor] Here.
Quick! Shit. Shit.
397
00:18:03,265 --> 00:18:05,578
- [all hissing and growling]
- [Laszlo] Come on, do your worst.
398
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,856
Fucking hell. Ah!
399
00:18:08,028 --> 00:18:09,927
- [hisses]
- [cameraman] No, no, no! Wait!
400
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,585
No. Fuck off.
401
00:18:12,757 --> 00:18:15,657
[Laszlo] Ah! I see you know
your judo well.
402
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:18,038
- Laszlo!
- It'�s all right, my darling. I'�ll be right there.
403
00:18:18,211 --> 00:18:20,627
I'�m coming!
Hang your cape on that.
404
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,353
[Laszlo] Get your hands off me.
405
00:18:22,526 --> 00:18:25,115
[grunts] Get out,
you motherfucker!
406
00:18:27,013 --> 00:18:28,118
- [The Guide] Ooh.
- [Nandor stammers]
407
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:33,019
Nadja!
There'�s some over here too.
408
00:18:33,192 --> 00:18:35,918
[Nadja] All right. Who'�s next?
I can do this all night long.
409
00:18:36,954 --> 00:18:38,335
[Nadja grunts]
410
00:18:38,507 --> 00:18:40,682
- [Nandor groans] Fuck off.
- [The Guide] Oh.
411
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:42,822
- [Laszlo] Help me up. [grunts]
- [Nandor] Laszlo.
412
00:18:44,237 --> 00:18:46,343
- Where'�s my wife?
- She'�s over there.
413
00:18:46,515 --> 00:18:49,346
- [Nadja] Okay.
Very good aim. Wow! - [Laszlo chuckles]
414
00:18:49,967 --> 00:18:51,831
Look at my gruesome girl go.
415
00:18:52,003 --> 00:18:54,213
It'�s like front row
at a Gallagher show.
416
00:18:54,385 --> 00:18:55,662
[Nandor] I think
maybe he'�s dead?
417
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,424
I will say when he'�s dead.
418
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:01,530
Very impressive. But I think
there might be more vampires on the way.
419
00:19:01,703 --> 00:19:03,360
- Perhaps we should
get out of here. - In a minute!
420
00:19:03,532 --> 00:19:04,326
Okay.
421
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,641
[sighs] Now we can go.
422
00:19:09,504 --> 00:19:11,161
[Nandor] Great. Let'�s do that.
423
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,240
[Nadja sighs]
424
00:19:21,412 --> 00:19:23,414
- Do you want a straw?
- Nope.
425
00:19:23,587 --> 00:19:26,383
You think that maybe we
should order coffee drinks-- thank you--
426
00:19:26,555 --> 00:19:27,901
so we don'�t look like
a bunch of vampires
427
00:19:28,074 --> 00:19:30,076
sat around waiting for
our familiar to save us?
428
00:19:30,249 --> 00:19:33,113
We can all be here without
everyone ordering coffee.
429
00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:35,323
And we can stay at the table
as long as we want.
430
00:19:35,495 --> 00:19:37,601
And when it comes
to the bathrooms,
431
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:39,741
- legally, it'�s Thunderdome.
- [Guillermo] Hey.
432
00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:41,087
- [The Guide] Guillermo!
- [Nandor] Guillermo.
433
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,089
- [Nadja] Finally.
- [Colin] Hey, Gomez.
434
00:19:43,262 --> 00:19:45,022
- You took your sweet time.
- Nadja, you all right? You have a little--
435
00:19:45,195 --> 00:19:47,300
Yeah, covered, uh,
in brain and blood and guts.
436
00:19:47,507 --> 00:19:49,406
Yes. Thank you for noticing.
437
00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:51,891
So, uh, your vampire friends,
they hang out at coffee shops? [chuckles]
438
00:19:52,063 --> 00:19:54,721
Hey, look, no offense.
I love the costumes, man.
439
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:57,207
You turn your mom'�s rug
into a dress? That'�s pretty cool. [chuckles]
440
00:19:57,345 --> 00:19:59,174
But, uh, you guys
really think you'�re vampires?
441
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,626
[Guillermo] No, Nandor.
Don'�t hurt him. That'�s my cousin, Miguel.
442
00:20:02,798 --> 00:20:04,800
- [laughs]
- No kidding.
443
00:20:04,973 --> 00:20:07,976
So you are the famous Miguel.
We have heard lots about you.
444
00:20:08,148 --> 00:20:09,736
[breathing shakily]
What the fuck?
445
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,256
Guillermo tells us
you'�re very tough and very cool
446
00:20:12,429 --> 00:20:14,914
and once locked him
in a cupboard for six hours.
447
00:20:15,086 --> 00:20:16,950
- Put it there.
- Don'�t need to fist bump on that.
448
00:20:17,123 --> 00:20:19,401
Sorry about that.
Let'�s straighten that for you.
449
00:20:19,574 --> 00:20:21,300
- You guys kill people?
- No shit, Kojak.
450
00:20:21,472 --> 00:20:23,440
Chillax, Miguel.
451
00:20:23,612 --> 00:20:25,476
'�Cause a member
of Guillermo'�s family is a member of our family.
452
00:20:25,649 --> 00:20:27,029
- Right, guys?
- [Laszlo] Right.
453
00:20:27,237 --> 00:20:29,204
- "Vamilia."
- Nadnor! I have a Nadnor.
454
00:20:29,377 --> 00:20:31,758
Is that for you, Nandor?
455
00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:34,071
No, she is calling someone
called Nadnor. Also, I have not ordered anything, so--
456
00:20:34,244 --> 00:20:38,731
- I have one roundhouse kick
for a Nandor. - Yes. I am Nan--
457
00:20:38,903 --> 00:20:40,319
[grunts, hisses]
458
00:20:40,491 --> 00:20:43,080
How quaint. A barista vampire.
459
00:20:43,253 --> 00:20:46,048
We'�re not barista vampires.
We'�re artist and writer vampires
460
00:20:46,256 --> 00:20:49,017
who happen to currently
be working as baristas.
461
00:20:49,189 --> 00:20:51,399
- And graphic designer vampires.
- [hisses]
462
00:20:51,537 --> 00:20:53,263
- Hi. I'�m Cass.
- Hi, Cass.
463
00:20:53,435 --> 00:20:56,507
- Personal essayist vampire
Louis here. - [hisses]
464
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,820
- Got a shot for Nandor.
- Oh, that'�s me. Yes.
465
00:20:59,476 --> 00:21:00,960
- [Laszlo laughs]
- Fucking guy.
466
00:21:01,132 --> 00:21:02,927
My mistake.
That was supposed to be a double shot.
467
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:03,997
[Miguel growls]
468
00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:06,276
Whoa. Oh, shit.
469
00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:08,105
Oh, I forgot to mention.
You have Van Helsing blood running through you.
470
00:21:08,243 --> 00:21:10,487
- What?
- It'�s a long story. I'�ll tell you later, okay?
471
00:21:10,659 --> 00:21:11,591
[Guillermo grunts]
472
00:21:11,764 --> 00:21:14,698
[all grunts, hissing]
473
00:21:14,905 --> 00:21:15,906
[Laszlo] Bat.
474
00:21:17,804 --> 00:21:20,600
Sorry, I didn'�t mean to do that.
It'�s because I said the word "bat."
475
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:24,846
- And I'�ve done it again.
I meant to say-- - [Guillermo] Miguel.
476
00:21:26,951 --> 00:21:27,745
Should we get involved?
477
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:31,853
You know, I forgot
how scrappy Gizmo can be
478
00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:33,475
when he gets a bit of a bee
in his bonnet.
479
00:21:33,648 --> 00:21:35,028
[Guillermo] Ooh.
480
00:21:35,201 --> 00:21:36,961
- [Miguel] Steam.
- [screaming]
481
00:21:37,134 --> 00:21:38,135
"Vampuccino."
482
00:21:38,308 --> 00:21:39,516
I will fucking kill you.
483
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,970
Ah! Ooh. Very good.
484
00:21:46,143 --> 00:21:47,040
[Miguel grunts]
485
00:21:47,213 --> 00:21:48,387
[barista vampire groans]
486
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:50,906
[Colin] Almost there.
Keep reaching, Gizmo.
487
00:21:51,079 --> 00:21:52,977
- [Guillermo grunts]
- [Louis growls, grunts]
488
00:21:53,909 --> 00:21:55,739
- [Guillermo grunts]
- [Laszlo] Nice shot.
489
00:21:55,911 --> 00:21:57,948
- Ooh. Dead. Very good.
- [The Guide] Guillermo.
490
00:21:58,155 --> 00:21:59,363
- We should go.
- [Nadja] Yes.
491
00:21:59,536 --> 00:22:01,261
- [engines roaring]
- [Laszlo] What the fuck is that?
492
00:22:01,434 --> 00:22:03,125
Just some homeys of mine.
I called them in case we were outnumbered.
493
00:22:03,333 --> 00:22:07,233
[Miguel]
Here they come. Hell yeah! Donnie brought the Spyder.
494
00:22:07,406 --> 00:22:09,546
- [Laszlo] Fancy a ride,
my darling? - [The Guide] Hello.
495
00:22:09,718 --> 00:22:10,857
[Guillermo] We gotta go.
496
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:12,411
[Colin] This one?
Hold on, hold on.
497
00:22:12,583 --> 00:22:14,654
- [Miguel] Get in, man.
- [Nadja] Colin Robinson!
498
00:22:14,827 --> 00:22:16,138
Let'�s go. We have to go.
499
00:22:17,692 --> 00:22:19,349
[Nandor] I don'�t want to get
my cape caught.
500
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,358
[Nandor] Ah.
501
00:22:28,530 --> 00:22:29,842
- [Nadja] Oh, home.
- [Laszlo] Oh, yes.
502
00:22:30,014 --> 00:22:31,050
- [Nadja] We'�re home.
- [Colin] Ooh, doggy.
503
00:22:31,222 --> 00:22:33,224
- [Nadja sighs] Baron?
- Well, well, well.
504
00:22:33,397 --> 00:22:34,605
[The Guide] You'�re okay!
505
00:22:34,778 --> 00:22:35,917
Look who came home!
506
00:22:36,089 --> 00:22:38,368
Baron, how did you
get back so fast?
507
00:22:38,540 --> 00:22:43,131
Did you know that Staten Island
has an above-ground train?
508
00:22:43,303 --> 00:22:45,236
- It'�s actually quite pleasant.
- [Nandor] Hey...
509
00:22:45,409 --> 00:22:50,276
And it gave me a chance
to open up that Louise Penny I have on audiobook.
510
00:22:50,449 --> 00:22:52,278
- Love her.
- [Baron] She'�s okay. But a quick question.
511
00:22:53,210 --> 00:22:55,143
What the hell were you thinking?
512
00:22:55,315 --> 00:22:57,559
Why did you kill
Jerry the Vampire?
513
00:22:57,697 --> 00:23:01,943
B-Because, Baron,
Jerry was a huge threat to your almighty power.
514
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:03,254
Yes.
515
00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:06,223
Which is why I wanted
to kill him myself
516
00:23:07,258 --> 00:23:08,915
in front of everyone
517
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:11,435
to reassert my power.
518
00:23:11,608 --> 00:23:13,610
Do you honestly think
that I did not know
519
00:23:13,782 --> 00:23:15,750
this insipid gathering
was a trap?
520
00:23:15,922 --> 00:23:17,303
- [gasps]
- You knew?
521
00:23:17,476 --> 00:23:19,132
[Baron] Of course I knew.
522
00:23:19,305 --> 00:23:22,308
I didn'�t know Jerry
was the enemy, Baron.
523
00:23:22,481 --> 00:23:25,898
But that is no excuse.
I have dishonored myself.
524
00:23:26,485 --> 00:23:29,729
But even worse,
I have dishonored you.
525
00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:32,318
I will now take my own life.
526
00:23:32,491 --> 00:23:35,148
- No. No!
- [The Guide whimpers] No, let me--
527
00:23:35,321 --> 00:23:37,599
- [Nandor] I will not. [grunts]
- [Colin] Let her.
528
00:23:37,772 --> 00:23:40,568
- Baron, take my life instead.
- [Colin] Do it.
529
00:23:40,775 --> 00:23:43,502
- [Nadja] Huh.
- Hold on here. Are you two a thing?
530
00:23:43,674 --> 00:23:45,745
- No. Not at all.
- It'�s early days.
531
00:23:45,952 --> 00:23:48,955
- Get up. We'�re going to run out
of vampires at this rate. - [monster growling]
532
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:50,957
- [Laszlo] What the blazes?
- [all scream]
533
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:53,132
- [monster grunts, growls]
- [Nadja gasps]
534
00:23:53,304 --> 00:23:54,996
- [Nandor mumbles]
- Gift.
535
00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:57,654
[Nadja] Oh.
Jerry'�s crushed head. Thank you.
536
00:23:57,826 --> 00:23:59,656
- Very nice.
- [giggles]
537
00:23:59,828 --> 00:24:01,830
- You can just
lay that down there. - [monster grunts]
538
00:24:02,003 --> 00:24:04,626
I will find
somewhere lovely for it later.
539
00:24:04,764 --> 00:24:06,628
- Now, we all have
much organizing... - Good job.
540
00:24:06,801 --> 00:24:08,423
...to do for tomorrow evening.
541
00:24:08,561 --> 00:24:10,770
To set this right.
542
00:24:10,943 --> 00:24:13,359
[Baron] Here we are again.
543
00:24:13,532 --> 00:24:16,535
Jerry tried to tear us apart.
544
00:24:16,707 --> 00:24:19,538
But we, unlike Jerry,
545
00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:22,299
will work as one.
546
00:24:22,437 --> 00:24:24,543
- [Laszlo, Nandor, Nandor] Yes.
- [Baron] For it will take all of us,
547
00:24:24,715 --> 00:24:27,338
all vampires,
548
00:24:27,511 --> 00:24:30,376
to bring the humans
of this new world
549
00:24:30,549 --> 00:24:33,517
under our dominion.
550
00:24:33,690 --> 00:24:36,347
- [vampires] Yes!
- Any questions?
551
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,590
[vampires murmuring]
552
00:24:37,797 --> 00:24:39,212
- Ah.
- [monster growling]
553
00:24:39,385 --> 00:24:41,629
[grunts]
554
00:24:41,767 --> 00:24:45,425
[vampires gasping, clamoring]
555
00:24:45,598 --> 00:24:48,394
Okay. Anybody else? Let'�s see.
There was someone...
556
00:24:48,567 --> 00:24:49,637
Ah. You.
557
00:24:49,809 --> 00:24:50,983
[monster growls]
558
00:24:51,121 --> 00:24:52,502
[Baron] Did you have a question?
559
00:24:54,227 --> 00:24:55,919
- Uh, nope.
- [Baron] Are you sure?
560
00:24:56,091 --> 00:24:58,508
Because I thought I saw
your hand go up.
561
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,717
[growls]
562
00:25:00,889 --> 00:25:03,513
I thought I had a--
had a question, but then y-you answered it.
563
00:25:04,514 --> 00:25:06,032
Just as I thought.
564
00:25:06,205 --> 00:25:07,240
[growls]
565
00:25:08,552 --> 00:25:09,795
Vampires dismissed.
566
00:25:10,002 --> 00:25:11,693
- [vampires murmuring]
- [monster snarks]
567
00:25:11,866 --> 00:25:13,281
[Baron] Two nights out in a row.
568
00:25:13,453 --> 00:25:15,594
The Sire'�s never gonna
let me hear the end of this.
569
00:25:15,766 --> 00:25:18,148
[? "Nowhere to Run" plays]
570
00:25:18,355 --> 00:25:21,669
? Nowhere to run to, baby ?
571
00:25:21,807 --> 00:25:23,222
? Nowhere to hide ?
572
00:25:24,741 --> 00:25:28,227
? I got nowhere
To run to, baby ?
573
00:25:28,917 --> 00:25:30,954
? Nowhere to hide, no ?
574
00:25:31,575 --> 00:25:34,613
? That'�s not love
That I'�m running from ?
575
00:25:35,303 --> 00:25:37,961
? It'�s the heartache
I know will come ?
576
00:25:38,617 --> 00:25:41,723
- ? '�Cause I know
You'�re no good for me ? - ? You'�re no good ?
577
00:25:41,930 --> 00:25:44,415
? But you'�ve become
A part of me ?
578
00:25:44,623 --> 00:25:47,902
? Everywhere that I go
Your face I see ?
579
00:25:48,109 --> 00:25:52,492
? Every step that I take
You take with me, yeah ?
580
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:55,703
? Nowhere to run to, baby ?
581
00:25:55,910 --> 00:25:58,637
? Nowhere to hide, no ?
582
00:25:58,844 --> 00:26:02,675
? I got nowhere
To run to, baby ?
583
00:26:02,882 --> 00:26:04,228
? Nowhere to hide ?
584
00:26:04,435 --> 00:26:05,575
? Nowhere to run ?
585
00:26:05,782 --> 00:26:07,784
? No, no, no, no, no, no ?
586
00:26:07,991 --> 00:26:08,750
? Ow! ?
587
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:13,350
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