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1
00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:09,320
- Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,120
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
3
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,580
- I can't hear you.
4
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,380
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:17,420
- * Ohh... *
6
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:19,520
* Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? *
7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,520
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
8
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,580
- * Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he *
9
00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:25,550
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
10
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:27,920
- * If nautical nonsense
be something you wish *
11
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,680
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
12
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,680
- * Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish *
13
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,620
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
14
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:35,820
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
15
00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:37,780
SpongeBob SquarePants!
16
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,750
SpongeBob SquarePants!
17
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:40,980
- SpongeBob
18
00:00:40,980 --> 00:00:43,080
SquarePants!
19
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,750
[laughing]
20
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:47,850
*
21
00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:49,420
[waves crashing]
22
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,920
[lively tropical music]
23
00:00:54,920 --> 00:01:01,580
*
24
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,880
- Wow, another Mermaid Man
reboot.
25
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,980
It's how I always reimagined
the reboot would be remade.
26
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:11,650
Ooh, cold knees.
27
00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:14,680
- Oh, you say
you got cold knees?
28
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,480
Icy joints,
Siberian patellas?
29
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,150
What you need is
a pair of long pants.
30
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,720
- Long pants?
31
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,320
Well, I don't think
I'm ready for long pants.
32
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,650
- Nonsense.
33
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:26,850
No fella should walk around
with shiver shins.
34
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:27,850
Give yourself a leg up.
35
00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:28,920
Join the trouser troops.
36
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,150
all chanting:
Hup, hup, hup!
37
00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:31,850
- Don't be a slacker.
Wear slacks.
38
00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:36,320
- Uh, well,
I don't--uh...
39
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,850
Okay!
40
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:40,950
How do I look?
41
00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,250
- Excuse me, sir,
42
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:44,920
I was just talking
to a little, baby,
43
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,650
schoolboy a second ago.
44
00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:48,080
About yea high.
45
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,850
Wh--wh--what?
It's you!
46
00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:52,280
I didn't recognize you
with your mature,
47
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,250
grown-up, long pants.
48
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:56,980
- You're pulling my leg, Mister.
49
00:01:56,980 --> 00:01:58,820
I don't look like a man.
50
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:00,150
Do I?
51
00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:01,580
- Hey, man.
52
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,980
- He called me a man!
53
00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:06,980
And my knees are a perfect
72 degrees.
54
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,980
- [clicks tongue]
55
00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,950
[all gasping, exclaiming]
56
00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:18,950
[jazzy music]
57
00:02:18,950 --> 00:02:21,750
*
58
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:22,920
[all exclaiming]
59
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,520
- You can see who wears
the pants in here!
60
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,080
- Is that my daddy?
61
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,550
- I wish.
62
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,620
- Uh, excuse me, sir.
63
00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:32,350
That door is
for employees only.
64
00:02:32,350 --> 00:02:33,380
Oh, SpongeBob.
65
00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:34,780
Hmm.
[sniffing]
66
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,950
There is something
different about you today.
67
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,680
You seem more able-bodied.
68
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,620
- Well, must be the long pants.
69
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:45,950
- [squeals]
So they are!
70
00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:47,850
You run the register today.
71
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,080
In the galley with you,
Mr. Squidward.
72
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,220
And start cooking.
73
00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:54,220
- But Mr. Krabs, why?
74
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:56,120
- Well, just look.
75
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,220
SpongeBob's got long pants on,
76
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,850
and you've got...none.
77
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,420
all:
Oh!
78
00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:04,550
- Aah!
[crashes]
79
00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:08,450
- Oh, I could get used to
this job.
80
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:10,080
Hey, Squidward,
what's on sale this week?
81
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,720
- Nothing.
There's never a sale.
82
00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:16,880
- Squidward, how much
is the senior discount?
83
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,320
- There's no senior discount.
84
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,420
[sizzling]
85
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,920
[grunting, groaning]
86
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:26,220
Aah! Ooh! Aah!
87
00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:27,550
- Squidward?
- What?
88
00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:30,420
- What do I do when the register
is $2,000 short?
89
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,720
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
90
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,220
All right, all right.
That's enough.
91
00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:36,950
I see it was a mistake
to put you behind the register.
92
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:41,150
You're just looking too good
for such insipid, menial work.
93
00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,880
- [grouchy blubbering]
94
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,820
- You should be
the maitre d'.
95
00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:47,820
Greeting customers
when they come in.
96
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:50,080
Charming the pants off
of everyone
97
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,620
with your long pants.
98
00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:53,620
- [laughing]
Okay.
99
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,920
Hi.
How are you?
100
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,220
Looking good.
101
00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,720
Mustard with that?
All right.
102
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:03,080
How is that patty
treating you, sir?
103
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,620
- Are you an angel?
104
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,520
- No, merely a man.
105
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,550
A man in long pants.
106
00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:10,350
- [loud gobbling]
107
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,150
[slurps, spits]
108
00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:15,220
- Aah!
Aah!
109
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:16,950
Aah!
110
00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:18,150
- [slobbering]
111
00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:19,320
- [gasps]
112
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:20,450
[whines]
113
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:22,280
Aah!
Aah!
114
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,450
Oh, my precious long pants!
115
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:25,550
- What's wrong, slick?
116
00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:26,620
You're not having trouble
117
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:27,750
with your pants, are you?
118
00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:29,280
- Nothing like that, Mr. Krabs.
119
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,750
I just don't think
I'm maitre d' material.
120
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,520
- Yeah, you're right.
121
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,220
You're too good for this place.
122
00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:37,750
[customers belching]
123
00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:39,380
- As much as I'd
hate to admit it,
124
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,350
I've outgrown the Krusty Krab.
125
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:43,920
Time for me to move on.
126
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,180
[heroic music]
127
00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:47,850
- [whistles]
128
00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:49,480
*
129
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,150
- [sighs]
130
00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:52,980
*
131
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:54,280
- Where is he going?
132
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:58,080
- A place called manhood.
133
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,250
- Doris, I insist.
134
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:04,720
- Don't be silly.
135
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,080
- Allow me, ladies.
136
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:07,280
I should pay.
137
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,520
After all, I am a man.
138
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,380
And I'm wearing...
[whistles]
139
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,820
- What an inseam.
140
00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:16,950
- And those pleats were
pretty easy on the eyes.
141
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,320
[boat roaring]
142
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,480
- Ah, shrimp!
143
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,520
Oh, dry cleaning in one hour.
144
00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:26,520
- Uh, ticket, please.
145
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,850
- Has it already
been an hour?
146
00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:31,080
One more time!
[laughing]
147
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,080
[whistles]
Ah, yeah.
148
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,450
[brakes squealing]
149
00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:40,880
- Congratulations,
you passed your driver's test.
150
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,150
- Wahoo!
151
00:05:42,150 --> 00:05:44,150
- You know, I never took
152
00:05:44,150 --> 00:05:46,520
the driver's test
with long pants.
153
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,220
I'll do it!
154
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,820
- There goes a real man.
155
00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:00,650
- Let's try parallel parking.
156
00:06:00,650 --> 00:06:02,780
Now take it slow.
157
00:06:04,350 --> 00:06:05,920
A little faster.
158
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,720
Oh! Oh!
Whoa! Ugh!
159
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,750
[metal crashing]
160
00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:15,620
- Hey, I think I'm getting
the hang of this.
161
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:21,450
- I was gonna fail you
and send you to jail,
162
00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:23,080
but because of
those long pants,
163
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,880
and all the blood rushing
to my head, you pass.
164
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,280
- I finally got
my driver's license.
165
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,220
- Oh, oh!
Lock your doors.
166
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:33,920
Bar your windows.
It's the end of the world!
167
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,680
- Help wanted?
168
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,280
Now this seems like
a long pants establishment.
169
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:48,950
Today's special is a most
amusing Indian Ocean
170
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,550
sea grass, handpicked
by indigenous prawns,
171
00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:53,080
pre-chewed by local manatees
172
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,580
and then smothered
in a rich, red algae.
173
00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:58,550
[all muttering]
174
00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:00,520
- Extraordinary.
175
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,980
And may I add,
those are very
176
00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:03,750
impressive britches
you're wearing.
177
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:04,880
- Britches?
178
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,680
Oh, these old things.
179
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:07,880
- What is your name?
180
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,420
- SpongeBob--
- [clears throat]
181
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:10,950
- SpongeRobert.
182
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:13,880
- Well, SpongeRobert,
how would you like to join us?
183
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,480
We're going to a party.
184
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,080
- Boy, would I?
I love parties!
185
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,650
[smug laughter]
186
00:07:23,850 --> 00:07:25,880
[elegant music playing]
187
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,420
[indistinct chatter]
188
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:30,850
*
189
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,980
- What are you looking
for, SpongeRobert?
190
00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:34,620
- I'm looking for the party.
191
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,720
- This is the party.
192
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,150
*
193
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,680
- Well, where's the party hats?
194
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,750
Where's the cake and the clown?
195
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,620
You can't have a party
without a clown.
196
00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:44,950
- Oh, SpongeRobert.
197
00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:46,480
If it weren't for your pants,
198
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,780
I'd take you for the type
of immature ignoramus
199
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:51,450
that would frequent
the Krusty Krab.
200
00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:53,280
- [chuckles nervously]
Yeah.
201
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,280
[dolphin chattering]
202
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,450
Hey, what's that?
203
00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:57,550
The Mermaid Man
and Barnacle Boy movie
204
00:07:57,550 --> 00:07:58,920
is opening tonight!
205
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,180
Wow!
I totally forgot.
206
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:03,450
Hey, guys, I've got an idea.
207
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,120
Let's all go to
the Mermaid Man movie.
208
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,580
- [laughs]
209
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:12,180
You're incorrigible, but
the cinema is a delightful idea.
210
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:13,950
There's a foreign film
at the art house
211
00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:15,520
I've been meaning to see.
212
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,120
It's called, "The Table."
213
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,320
[high-pitched whistling]
214
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:22,420
[glass shattering]
215
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,950
[cat meowing]
216
00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:26,450
- I don't get it.
217
00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:29,080
We've been staring at this table
for three hours.
218
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,620
That table could use a cleaning.
219
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,980
- Shh!
220
00:08:31,980 --> 00:08:35,250
Some people are trying
to enjoy lé cinema.
221
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:36,550
- Oh, hey, Squidward.
222
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,520
Hey, do you understand
what this movie's about?
223
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,880
- Nobody does.
It's art.
224
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,080
Now sit down!
225
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,180
- Hey, Squidward?
- What?
226
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:45,280
- Are you remembering to
flip the patties clockwise?
227
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,850
It's very important
because the heat--
228
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:49,580
- Please, sit down!
229
00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:51,080
- I'm sorry, sir.
230
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,620
You're being too loud.
231
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:55,380
I'm going to have to
ask you to leave.
232
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:56,880
- Uh, wait, Squidward!
233
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,250
I'll walk you out!
234
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:01,150
- [grumbling]
235
00:09:01,150 --> 00:09:03,480
- Squidward!
236
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,080
- Hey, SpongeBob!
237
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:08,080
Y'all going to see
the Mermaid Man movie with us?
238
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,780
- SpongeRobert, yoo-hoo.
239
00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:12,080
Are you coming?
240
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,850
We're going to drink
some more coffee
241
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,950
and watch the nightly news.
242
00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:19,350
- Wow, that sounds pretty
grown up, SpongeRobert.
243
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,550
- My pants say
yes, yes, yes,
244
00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:24,680
but my heart says no.
245
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,480
I wanna see
the Mermaid Man movie.
246
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,380
- [laughs]
Now you really sound like
247
00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:32,920
one of those nitwits that
frequents the Krusty Krab.
248
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,120
- Not only am I
one of those nitwits,
249
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,920
I actually work there!
250
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,250
[angelic chorus]
251
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:41,650
- Ugh!
A peasant in long pants.
252
00:09:41,650 --> 00:09:43,450
- Social-climbing sponge.
253
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,750
- Poser!
254
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,880
- Let's leave
this bottom-feeder.
255
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,220
- Attaboy!
256
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:49,920
I got you a ticket
just in case.
257
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,920
- [gasps]
Really?
258
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,680
[exciting music]
259
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,420
- I'm sorry,
you can't come in.
260
00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:00,450
This movie is too silly
261
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:04,220
for a cultivated gentleman
of your pant length.
262
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,680
House rules.
263
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:07,880
- What?
264
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,480
"Rated for those
in knee-highs only"?
265
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,220
Oh, I hate these pants!
266
00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:16,150
[grunting]
267
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:24,520
[grunts]
268
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,480
Get off!
269
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,520
[horn blaring, tires screeching]
270
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,750
Aah!
Oh!
271
00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:32,720
[crashes]
272
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,520
Ah, now I know I'm an adult,
273
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,920
because I've been ripped off
by these defective pants.
274
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,920
[sobbing]
275
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,750
- What's going on?
276
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:45,380
How pathetic.
277
00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:49,480
A man in long pants crying.
278
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,320
- [sighing, sniffling]
279
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,950
Mr. Krabs, why aren't you
watching the movie?
280
00:10:53,950 --> 00:10:55,320
- How can I watch the movie
281
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,150
with all this blubbering
going on out here?
282
00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:01,580
- Oh, Mr. Krabs,
I'm not ready for long pants.
283
00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:03,480
I want my short pants back,
284
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,480
but I can't because
these are stuck on me.
285
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,080
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
286
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:13,220
Sorry about the legs, boy.
287
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,750
- [laughs]
It's okay.
288
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,420
I'm a sponge, remember?
289
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,180
- [laughs]
Well, good!
290
00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:22,080
Then I want you back on
the grill tomorrow morning.
291
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,680
And if it makes you
feel any more manly,
292
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,620
you can do your grilling
outdoors.
293
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,880
- Sounds great!
294
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,350
And I'll be driving to work.
295
00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:32,750
- Wait a minute!
296
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,620
Oh, no, you don't.
297
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,450
Not with those short pants.
298
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:38,480
[grunting]
299
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,520
- I don't know what
that was all about,
300
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,080
but I'm glad it's over.
19617
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