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1
00:00:03,050 --> 00:00:08,150
*
2
00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:09,720
[bubbling]
3
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,190
- [sniffs]
4
00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:13,950
Nope, nothing.
5
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:17,520
I can't smell a cent
or a dollar or any money
6
00:00:17,620 --> 00:00:18,920
in a five-mile radius.
7
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,820
We might as well
shut her down early.
8
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,090
- Eee!
9
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,990
- Just as soon as that guy
finishes his meal.
10
00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,390
- You mean the guy who's
been nursing a single fry
11
00:00:27,490 --> 00:00:28,550
for the last hour?
12
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:31,590
- When he goes,
you can go.
13
00:00:31,690 --> 00:00:33,050
- [growls]
14
00:00:33,150 --> 00:00:34,590
- [slurping noises]
15
00:00:34,690 --> 00:00:36,350
- Excuse me, sir,
but you seem to be
16
00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:37,820
having trouble masticating.
17
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,390
Here, let me help you.
18
00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:41,920
- [chewing noises
and grunting]
19
00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:43,720
[gulps]
20
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,520
- What, no tip?
21
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:47,450
Finally, yes!
22
00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:48,820
Leaving early,
23
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,820
I can't believe
this is finally happening.
24
00:00:50,890 --> 00:00:53,720
[thunder rumbles]
25
00:00:55,650 --> 00:00:56,990
[yelps]
26
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,450
'Cause it's not.
27
00:00:58,550 --> 00:00:59,690
- Oh, my.
28
00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:01,290
That's quite a storm.
29
00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:04,390
You know, a storm like this
puts me in the mind
30
00:01:04,490 --> 00:01:06,120
of me old Navy days.
31
00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:09,550
- Old Navy days?
Ooh!
32
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,420
- That gives me a fine
idea, SpongeBob.
33
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,820
Since it looks like we're
gonna be stuck here a while,
34
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,820
why don't you pull up
a barrel, me laddies,
35
00:01:15,890 --> 00:01:18,450
while I regale you with
a thrilling tale
36
00:01:18,550 --> 00:01:21,820
of me mysterious,
salty past.
37
00:01:25,390 --> 00:01:27,690
There now, the lights
are properly dimmed.
38
00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:29,690
Feast yourself on these
slightly expired
39
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:32,420
soda crackies as I spin you
a yarn that puts
40
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:33,650
hair on your chest.
41
00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:35,120
- I don't want any
hair on my chest.
42
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,990
- Ooh, I do.
43
00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:38,990
[crunches]
44
00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:41,720
- It was a day
just like this one.
45
00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:43,820
The wind was howling!
46
00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:45,590
And me ship was
being tossed about
47
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:48,620
like a ragdoll
on a trampoline.
48
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,520
I was in the galley,
cooking up grub
49
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:53,620
for me crew to keep their mind
off this horrible squall.
50
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:59,820
*
51
00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:02,550
It was just then that he
burst into the galley!
52
00:02:02,650 --> 00:02:03,890
- Who he?
53
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,290
- The man whose mission was
to make my life
54
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,220
a living nightmare.
55
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,890
The roughest, toughest,
scaliest old barnacle
56
00:02:11,990 --> 00:02:14,820
that ever roamed
the briny deep.
57
00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:16,720
He was me commanding officer
58
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,820
and he loathed me
with the white hot hatred
59
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,690
of a psychotic madman!
60
00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:24,820
They called him
"Captain Scarfish"!
61
00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,820
- Hello!
- [yelps]
62
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,250
- Stand at attention,
Mr. Krabs.
63
00:02:32,350 --> 00:02:36,850
I want you to tell me
the meaning of this.
64
00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:38,350
- Oh, that, sir?
65
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,050
Why, sir, that's
a sea cucumber sandwich, sir,
66
00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:41,620
with the crusts cut off, sir.
67
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,390
A little booshee amusee
for the boys, sir.
68
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:46,890
- This is the Navy,
son.
69
00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:49,150
We don't cut the crusts off.
70
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:53,950
We eat the crusts
and throw the rest away.
71
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,850
- But that's--
that's madness.
72
00:02:56,950 --> 00:03:00,890
- [chewing noises]
73
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:03,290
I'm telling you
for the last time,
74
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:07,420
you're gonna have to stop
making your food so delicious!
75
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,820
- But I don't know how!
76
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:12,820
- Well, you better
figure it out.
77
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:16,320
I need my men wild-eyed
and hungry, Krabs.
78
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:19,820
We've got a cargo hold
full of suntan lotion, and--
79
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:21,090
- Wait.
80
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,720
You were transporting
suntan lotion?
81
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:25,620
[laughs]
82
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,820
What SPF?
83
00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:29,720
- I don't see what's
so amusing about that,
84
00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:30,720
Mr. Squidward.
85
00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:32,150
We were a cargo ship
86
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,890
heading straight
into pirate territory
87
00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:37,350
with a fresh supply
of suntan lotion
88
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,490
for shipwrecked sailors
whose skin was chafed.
89
00:03:40,590 --> 00:03:41,850
- [yawns]
90
00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:43,690
- Chafed, Mr. Squidward!
91
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:45,650
- Chafed!
- Chafed!
92
00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:48,220
- Aye, sir, I understand, sir!
Chafed.
93
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,590
- So tonight's meal
is gonna be terrible,
94
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,020
you understand me?
- Aye, sir.
95
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,090
- The worst you've ever made!
- Aye, aye, sir.
96
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:56,450
- The kind of slop that'll
97
00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:59,820
put some steel in their spines!
- Aye, aye, sir!
98
00:03:59,850 --> 00:04:02,820
- Either that, or I'll
throw you in the brig!
99
00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:04,350
- Yes, sir.
100
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,150
[overlapping chatter]
101
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:07,190
[door opens]
102
00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:09,890
all: Huzzah!
103
00:04:09,990 --> 00:04:12,920
- Oh, don't huzzah yet, boys.
104
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,320
- What's on the menu
tonight, eh?
105
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,520
- Slop.
106
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:18,250
[all laughing]
107
00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:20,420
- Oh, slop, eh?
Good one!
108
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,690
Why don't you put some
of that delicious slop
109
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:24,250
right here on my--
110
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:27,420
Oh, I bet it's one of those
things that looks bad,
111
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,590
but it tastes really--
112
00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:31,820
[groans]
113
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,420
Bad.
114
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,420
- [grumbles] Sorry, boys.
115
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,020
Oh, Captain's orders.
116
00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:43,050
- [retches]
117
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,220
- Oh, I can't stand it!
118
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,650
I don't care
what the Captain says.
119
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:53,690
[triumphant music]
120
00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:59,390
*
121
00:04:59,490 --> 00:05:00,490
all: Huzzah!
122
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,490
Huzzah for Mr. Krabs!
123
00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:03,920
Huzzah!
124
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:06,890
- What's all
this huzzah-ing about?
125
00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:08,090
- Oh, nothing, sir.
126
00:05:08,190 --> 00:05:10,650
They just really
enjoy eating slop.
127
00:05:10,820 --> 00:05:12,090
Don't you, boys?
128
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,550
- Attention!
129
00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:20,290
Hmm...
130
00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:22,520
Looks like slop,
all right.
131
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:23,890
But what's this?
132
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,820
- Cherries jubilee.
all: Cherries jubilee!
133
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,820
- Cherries jubilee?
134
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,190
- Well, flaming cherries
jubilee.
135
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,890
- Flaming? What are you
trying to pull, you lubber?
136
00:05:33,990 --> 00:05:36,150
This looks like regular
cherries jubilee.
137
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:37,720
- Well, you see, sir,
I was just gonna
138
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:40,520
take this here match and--
139
00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:42,820
[gasps]
140
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,890
And so I found meself
in the brig
141
00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:48,150
with two guards watching
me every move.
142
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:50,820
The one was as brutal
and ugly a bounder
143
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:54,920
as you'd ever wish to see
in your darkest nightmare.
144
00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:56,590
- Garr, what are you
looking at?
145
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,850
- But I thought I could dupe
the other one,
146
00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:00,420
should the need arise.
147
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:05,150
[train whistle toots]
- [chuckles]
148
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,650
Gee, Mr. Krabs, that second
guard sounds like
149
00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:09,220
a real goofball!
150
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,120
- I managed to worm
some useful information
151
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,350
out of him right away.
152
00:06:12,450 --> 00:06:14,650
You see, he was
an aspiring cook.
153
00:06:14,820 --> 00:06:16,390
And I talked him into
sneaking some things
154
00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:19,450
down into the brig for me--
the tools of me trade,
155
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:20,990
you might say.
156
00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:23,520
I set him to work
on a spun-sugar cathedral
157
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:26,120
that took up most of
his attention.
158
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,650
He never suspected that I was
using the scraps
159
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:30,420
to fashion a candy key.
160
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,950
Where's your sourpuss
friend tonight?
161
00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:34,550
- Sick in bed,
like all the men.
162
00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:36,820
The captain's been feeding them
nothing but moldy
163
00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,190
old sandwich crusts.
164
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,390
They've all got terrible
belly-aches.
165
00:06:40,490 --> 00:06:41,420
Not me, though.
166
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:42,720
I cook for myself.
167
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,020
- Wise lad.
168
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,690
- [inhales]
169
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:48,820
[dolphin noises]
170
00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:49,890
- And so, after a few hours
171
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,220
of bouncing off the walls,
172
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,290
the sugar finally wore off.
173
00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:56,190
And soon, he was napping
like a baby.
174
00:06:56,290 --> 00:07:00,650
This was me chance
to use me sweet key to freedom!
175
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,290
But did I dare take it?
176
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:06,820
I'd be in violation
of the Naval Code.
177
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,590
Then something happened
that made me mind up for me.
178
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:12,820
[explosion]
179
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:13,890
Pirates!
180
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:15,620
We were under attack!
181
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,020
I had to act fast.
182
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,350
Wake up, lad, wake up!
183
00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:21,490
Man your battle stations!
184
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:27,490
[all groaning]
185
00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:30,450
I was on me own.
186
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,250
I could see it all,
a pirate ship,
187
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:37,190
and on that island,
a crew of fine Naval men.
188
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,450
Our only hope,
marooned on a beach
189
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:42,190
by those same scurvy pirates
and suffering
190
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:46,950
from the effects of chafe,
sunburn!
191
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,550
The pirates had already
launched a boat
192
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:50,920
and were preparing
to board our vessel.
193
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:54,620
- Row,
you worthless dogs!
194
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,020
- Stand down, Krabs.
195
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,120
I'll have you in irons!
196
00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,420
- Listen to me, Captain.
197
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,820
This is gonna get
real ugly, real fast.
198
00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:03,590
We've got
to get to the cannons.
199
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:06,090
- We're not outfitted
for battle, Krabs.
200
00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:07,850
There's no ammunition.
201
00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:10,820
The cannons are
ornamental at best.
202
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,820
Ornamental at best!
203
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,690
- Then listen carefully.
204
00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,690
You'll have to go down
to the cargo hold
205
00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:19,620
and poke holes in the barrels
of suntan lotion
206
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,990
and scuttle the ship.
207
00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:24,750
- What you're suggesting
is mutiny!
208
00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:26,990
- Do as he says, Captain.
209
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,290
- What are you using
for ammo there, ensign?
210
00:08:29,390 --> 00:08:31,590
- Oh, I rolled up an old
moldy sandwich crust
211
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:32,750
into a hard little ball.
212
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:35,190
- That's it!
Come with me, lad!
213
00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:38,350
[upbeat music]
214
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:45,590
*
215
00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:46,750
[cannon fires]
216
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,750
Direct hit!
both: Huzzah!
217
00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:53,520
- You'll pay for that.
218
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,150
Get him, boys!
219
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:56,650
- Uh, what do I do?
220
00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:59,790
- Get down to the cargo hold
and check on the captain.
221
00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,550
Charge!
222
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,750
[grunting]
223
00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:08,520
Close one!
224
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:11,820
- Ah, he's kind of handsome
for a crusty old cuss.
225
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,220
- [sobbing]
226
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,350
I can't do it.
I'm weak.
227
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:19,950
- Snap out of it, man!
228
00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:22,420
- [gasps]
229
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,290
- Ew.
230
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:25,620
- My personality!
[sobbing]
231
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,420
- Oops, uh, let me
put that back.
232
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:37,490
*
233
00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:51,350
[all speaking happily
at once]
234
00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:58,090
- [grunting]
Missed me!
235
00:09:58,190 --> 00:09:59,390
Uh-oh.
236
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:03,190
Uh, anyone for
cherries jubilee?
237
00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:04,320
- Finish him off!
238
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:06,520
sailors: Huzzah for Mr. Krabs!
239
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:09,390
- Ha, ha, the sunburn brigade!
240
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,120
Ha, ha, me plan worked!
241
00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:15,450
[chuckles]
242
00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:18,690
- Handsome and clever,
I see.
243
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:21,990
Join me, Krabs.
244
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:24,320
We'll rule the seven seas
together.
245
00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:26,190
- I can't let you go,
lass.
246
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:28,150
I'd be in violation
of the naval code.
247
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,390
Enjoy your last meal.
248
00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:33,250
I hope you like spun sugar.
249
00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:37,650
- Huh?
250
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,590
Oh...
251
00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:41,350
[chuckles]
252
00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:44,990
- What are we all
winking about?
253
00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:46,450
- I don't know!
254
00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:59,950
*
16980
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