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1
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:09,320
Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,120
(children)
Aye, aye, Captain!
3
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,580
I can't hear you.
4
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,580
(children)
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:17,420
Oh...
6
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:19,650
Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea?
7
00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:21,650
(children)
SpongeBob SquarePants!
8
00:00:21,650 --> 00:00:23,720
Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he
9
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,380
(children)
SpongeBob SquarePants!
10
00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:27,650
If nautical nonsense
be something you wish
11
00:00:27,650 --> 00:00:29,220
(children)
SpongeBob SquarePants!
12
00:00:29,220 --> 00:00:31,880
Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish
13
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,620
- SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
14
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:35,850
(all)
SpongeBob SquarePants!
15
00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:37,780
SpongeBob SquarePants!
16
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,750
SpongeBob SquarePants!
17
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:40,980
SpongeBob
18
00:00:40,980 --> 00:00:43,080
SquarePants!
19
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,750
[laughing]
20
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:47,820
[piccolo melody]
21
00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:49,320
[waves crashing]
22
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:56,080
[upbeat ukulele music]
23
00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:02,080
*
24
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:07,480
[rooster crows]
25
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,420
[Squidward hums]
26
00:01:13,850 --> 00:01:15,250
Aah.
27
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:19,080
Wow, 20 minutes in the bath
is probably enough.
28
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:25,320
Aah, another day...
29
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,920
Another day.
30
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,120
[snoring]
31
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,450
[fog horn]
32
00:01:31,450 --> 00:01:34,520
(SpongeBob)
Whoa! Oh, doh, ow, oh, ow, aah!
33
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,480
[shower runs]
34
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,580
Ow, whoa, oof, ow!
35
00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:42,220
Ready for work.
36
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:44,080
Oh, morning, Squidward! I--
37
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:49,550
Oh! Not ready for work!
38
00:01:49,550 --> 00:01:52,980
Doh, oof, ow, ow, ooh!
39
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:55,220
Whatever.
40
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:58,080
- Thanks for waiting, Squidward.
- I wasn't waiting.
41
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,350
[laughs] I was in such a hurry
I almost forgot my pants.
42
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:04,080
- Yes, I saw that.
- I guess I was in a panic.
43
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,580
I mean, I can't believe we're
running so late for work,
44
00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:06,750
can you? Huh, Squidward?
Can you believe it?
45
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:08,480
Are you panicking too?
46
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:09,880
Late for work, late for work,
we're running late for work,
47
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,350
right?
48
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,620
Right. We're going to be there
15 minutes early.
49
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:16,280
I know! Only 15 minutes early?
50
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,080
Maybe we should take a shortcut.
51
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,180
[gasps]
Squidward, what are you doing?
52
00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:25,650
[grunting]
53
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,080
- Ugh...
- SpongeBob, look.
54
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:34,550
(Squidward)
We're walking
in a straight line.
55
00:02:34,550 --> 00:02:36,150
I don't follow.
56
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:39,980
A straight line is the shortest
distance between any two points.
57
00:02:39,980 --> 00:02:42,750
Speak English, brainiac.
[laughs]
58
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:46,580
Well, see, you have point A,
where you start,
59
00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:51,150
and then there's point,
uh, point, uh...
60
00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:55,150
I don't even know
what I'm talking about.
61
00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:57,580
Mmm, strawberry.
62
00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:02,280
Tick!
63
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:06,080
Oh no! Now we're only going to
be 14 minutes early for work.
64
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,320
Oh, there's got to be a shortcut
around here somewhere.
65
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,720
Oh, for the last time.
Straight line, point A.
66
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,420
There's no shortcut.
67
00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:15,920
There is always a shortcut.
68
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:19,820
What moron told you that?
69
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,880
There's always a shortcut.
70
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,220
Ah.
71
00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:25,480
Squidward, I am going to find
that shortcut.
72
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:30,180
Look, the Krusty Krab is right
at the end of the block.
73
00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:31,620
Yoo hoo!
74
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:33,180
[gasps] You're not going
to come with me?
75
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:36,350
No, SpongeBob. I'm just going
to struggle through
76
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:39,080
the rest of this walk alone.
77
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,850
Well, I guess this is
where we part ways.
78
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:43,880
But I can't wait to see
your face when you get to work
79
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,080
and I'm already there.
80
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,720
[laughs] That's the face!
That's the look!
81
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,950
[SpongeBob laughs]
82
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:55,280
* First you do a zig,
then you take a little zag. *
83
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,550
* That's how you find
a shortcut. *
84
00:03:57,550 --> 00:04:01,980
* Crawl underneath a fence,
struggle through a bush, *
85
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:06,850
* and that's how you find
a shortcut. *
86
00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:08,480
- Huh?
- Straight line.
87
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,580
Point A to point B.
You're still not getting it.
88
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:16,450
Oh, tartar sauce. Maybe I should
have zagged when I zigged.
89
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:19,520
*First you do a zag,
crawl underneath a fence *
90
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,550
* Then you take a little zig,
that's how you find a shortcut *
91
00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:26,250
[laughs]
There, that's better.
92
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,580
[wolf howls]
93
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:29,080
Oh. [nervous laugh]
94
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,420
Now this is what I call
a real great shortcut.
95
00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:34,680
Now all I have to do is remember
my wilderness training
96
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,980
so I don't get lost.
97
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:40,180
The first rule of wilderness
training is map out your course
98
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:43,520
by taking note
of local landmarks.
99
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:47,320
Local landmarks.
100
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,680
Ah-hah!
101
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:56,550
Right at this large,
unusual shell.
102
00:04:56,550 --> 00:04:59,320
Right at this abandoned sofa.
103
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,980
And jog left
at the broken fire hydrant.
104
00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:04,950
[laughs]
105
00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:06,880
There it is. The Krusty Krab.
106
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,950
Ooh!
[panting]
107
00:05:10,950 --> 00:05:12,950
[crash]
108
00:05:12,950 --> 00:05:16,750
[slow Hawaiian-style music]
109
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:21,850
*
110
00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:25,420
Aah.
111
00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:27,880
Well, look at this.
Lazin' about.
112
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,420
Can I get you anything else?
Another pillow maybe?
113
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:32,080
A cappuccino machine?
114
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,450
No, thanks, I got one.
115
00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:37,120
[whistles]
116
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,980
Perfect. No customers,
no SpongeBob.
117
00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:44,920
Oh, for kelp's sake.
You're a lost cause.
118
00:05:47,420 --> 00:05:49,080
[choir sings]
119
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,080
[gasps] The Krabby Krust?
120
00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:55,720
Is that the name
of a restaurant?
121
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,350
No, it's a typo.
122
00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:58,680
Could you perhaps tell me
123
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,750
how to get to
the Krusty Krab from here?
124
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,150
- Never heard of it.
- Oh, you should try it.
125
00:06:03,150 --> 00:06:05,980
It's the best place to eat
in all of Bikini Bottom.
126
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:07,380
Here, take these coupons.
127
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:12,220
Thanks. I'm going to
go there right now.
128
00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:14,620
I thought you didn't know
where the Krusty Krab was.
129
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,450
Oh, what do I do now?
130
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:18,950
[sobs]
131
00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:22,080
Remember your landmarks.
132
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,120
Sandy's wilderness tips
are always on the money.
133
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:31,180
Okay, let's see. I came from...
134
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:33,620
No, I came...
135
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,680
I'm lost!
136
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:36,950
[screams]
137
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:38,980
Hey, there's one
of my landmarks.
138
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:42,180
The broken fire hydrant.
Hello, hydrant.
139
00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:46,680
I'm going to call you Heidi.
Heidi the hydrant.
140
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:51,280
So many broken fire hydrants.
What do I do now, Heidi?
141
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:55,250
If only I could telephone
Squidward, he'd help me out.
142
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:59,550
Hey, that thing looks
kind of like a phone.
143
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:01,450
Wow, this is weird.
144
00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:05,720
It's like a phone,
but you put money in it.
145
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,720
[change jingles]
146
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,650
My last dime.
147
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,650
I hope this works.
148
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,150
[phone rings]
149
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:19,680
Krusty Krab,
may I reluctantly help you?
150
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,250
It's me, Squidward. SpongeBob.
I'm calling from a payphone.
151
00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:26,250
You don't say.
How's that shortcut of yours?
152
00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:29,220
Not good. I think I made a wrong
turn at the abandoned sofa.
153
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:30,850
All there is around here
are broken fire hydrants.
154
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,520
What should I do?
155
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,320
(phone operator)
If you'd like to continue
this call,
156
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,380
- please insert another dime.
- I don't have a dime.
157
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:39,780
Operator, please, please,
can you tell me where I am?
158
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:42,780
(operator)
If you'd like to know where you
are, please insert another dime.
159
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:45,080
Hold on!
160
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,750
[cell phone rings]
161
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:53,350
Two nickels? I need a dime.
162
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,380
Oh, I'm never going
to get to work.
163
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:56,680
What are you doing?
164
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,880
Looking for a dime
in this abandoned sofa.
165
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,380
This is our abandoned sofa, pal.
166
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,950
Whatcha doin' there,
drinking soda?
167
00:08:05,950 --> 00:08:07,250
What's it to ya?
168
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,650
Isn't a little early
to be hitting
169
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:12,280
the high-fructose corn syrup?
170
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,680
Hey, listen.
171
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,880
I know this gigantic soda
isn't good for me,
172
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,080
but sometimes it gives me
the kick I need
173
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:23,180
to start my busy day
as a pedicab driver.
174
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:25,420
Ooh, you drive a pedicab?
175
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:29,750
Yes, sir!
176
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:30,950
You need a ride somewhere?
177
00:08:30,950 --> 00:08:34,780
Yes! To the Krusty Krab
and step on it!
178
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:35,920
Way to go, Scott!
179
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,320
Yeah, he's almost saved enough
180
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:41,220
to attend
a community college next year.
181
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:47,780
Thanks a lot, Scott.
Stay in school.
182
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:49,820
Krusty Klam? [gasps]
183
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,780
Wait, Scott. Come back!
184
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:57,080
[gasps] Tartar sauce!
185
00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:03,950
- Tock!
- No!
186
00:09:03,950 --> 00:09:05,650
Over the cliff.
187
00:09:05,650 --> 00:09:07,350
Through the toxic runoff.
188
00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:13,280
Make a right at the
disease-filled sewer pipe.
189
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,550
Face-first into this fetid muck.
190
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,120
Over the garbage pile.
191
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,180
Fall down this mountain
of broken glass.
192
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:25,850
Over the excruciatingly sharp
razor wire.
193
00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:29,250
[sputtering]
194
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:32,580
Up this massive hill.
195
00:09:32,580 --> 00:09:35,520
[panting]
196
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,080
That's the Krusty Krab.
197
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,420
And I'm still two minutes early.
198
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:45,880
[grunting]
199
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:50,520
I made it. Oh, I made it.
200
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:55,180
Oh, random Krusty Krab patrons,
how I've missed you.
201
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:59,420
Oh, how I've missed
your youthful faces.
202
00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:01,620
I missed the bathroom, too.
[toilet flushing]
203
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:04,150
[screaming]
204
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:07,520
But most of all,
I missed you, choking guy.
205
00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:11,620
Patrick? How did you get here?
206
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:13,250
Same way I always do.
207
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,250
Scott gave me a ride
in his pedicab.
208
00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:18,520
[bicycle horn squeaks]
209
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:22,180
Squidward! Squidward,
can you believe I made it?
210
00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,750
Oh.
211
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:26,480
- Congratulations.
- What are you doing, boy?
212
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,350
You're scaring away all me
customers with your foul stench.
213
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:31,980
Mr. Krabs!
214
00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:35,350
Oh, no, lad. You're not coming
in here looking like that.
215
00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:37,320
[fog horn]
216
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,450
You're going straight home
for a nice, long bubble bath.
217
00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:41,720
Aye, aye, sir.
218
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,550
What? He gets to go home
and take a bubble bath?
219
00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:45,980
That's my thing.
220
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:47,420
Yes, it is.
221
00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:50,480
And consequently, you are
just neat as a pin.
222
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,750
Now get to work!
223
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:56,080
I'm as neat as a pin.
224
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,820
I'll show you neat as a pin.
225
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:04,480
[jabbering]
226
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:16,980
Where's my bubble bath,
Mr. Krabs?
227
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,920
There you go.
228
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,080
Now get to work.
229
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,080
Are you guys open?
I have coupons.
230
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,980
Buy one, get one free.
231
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:31,780
Oh, no.
It says, "Buy one for a fee."
232
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:35,520
Oh. I stand corrected.
16237
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