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1
00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:07,850
*
2
00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:10,780
[relaxing music]
3
00:00:10,780 --> 00:00:14,050
- FEEL THE DROPLETS GENTLY
CASCADE OVER YOUR BODY.
4
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:16,080
- OH, YEAH.
5
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:19,950
- VISUALIZE YOURSELF
IN A PRIVATE GROTTO.
6
00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:23,510
FOCUS YOUR PERCEPTIONS
ON THE NATIVE FAUNA
7
00:00:23,510 --> 00:00:26,180
AND THE SOOTHING NATURE
OF THEIR RUSTIC CALLS.
8
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:28,280
- [grunts]
9
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,450
- YOU ARE ONE
WITH NATURE.
10
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,580
- AHH.
11
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:34,480
[laughter]
12
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,010
WHAT THE--
[laughter]
13
00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,580
BARNACLES!
14
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,250
- HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT,
BABY?
15
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,610
- [laughs]
OH, YEAH?
16
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:47,410
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK ABOUT THIS, BABY?
17
00:00:47,410 --> 00:00:49,180
[laughter]
18
00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,980
- QUESTION,
ARE YOU TWO ACTING
19
00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:54,180
EVEN MORE INFANTILE
THAN USUAL THIS MORNING?
20
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,780
- UH-HUH.
'CAUSE I FOUND A BOX
21
00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:57,680
OF MY OLD BABY TOYS
IN THE ATTIC,
22
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,380
AND WE'RE PLAYING
WITH THEM.
23
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:03,550
HEY, MY OLD TEDDY WALRUS.
[squeaking]
24
00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:06,550
THIS STUFF
REALLY TAKES ME BACK.
25
00:01:08,150 --> 00:01:11,580
- YEAH,
IT MAKES ME FEEL BABYISH.
26
00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:15,210
OH! LOOK AT ME,
I'M A BABY.
27
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:17,650
- NO, BABIES DON'T TALK
LIKE THAT, PATRICK.
28
00:01:17,650 --> 00:01:20,780
THEY TALK LIKE--
GOO-GOO, GA-GA.
29
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,610
both: [baby gibberish]
30
00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:25,450
- [baby gibberish]
31
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:30,950
- [baby gibberish]
32
00:01:30,950 --> 00:01:33,580
- [baby gibberish and whistling]
33
00:01:33,580 --> 00:01:39,780
both: [baby gibberish]
34
00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:43,050
- [growls]
35
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:45,610
JUST AS THE ESSENTIAL OILS
WERE KICKING IN.
36
00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:48,880
HEY!
I'D APPRECIATE SOME QUIET.
37
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,250
both: [gibberish]
38
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,050
- HOW DARE YOU
SCOOT AWAY FROM ME?
39
00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:54,610
I'M SCOLDING HERE!
40
00:01:54,610 --> 00:01:58,250
WOULD YOU TWO FOR ONCE
ACT YOUR AGE?
41
00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,780
[squeaking]
42
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:04,150
both: [crying]
43
00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:07,150
- FINE, ACT LIKE INFANTS
YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
44
00:02:07,150 --> 00:02:08,410
SEE IF I CARE.
45
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:10,980
I'LL BE RETURNING
TO MY GROWN-UP LIFESTYLE,
46
00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:12,880
SO KEEP IT DOWN!
47
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,980
AAH!
48
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:18,850
[grunts]
49
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:20,550
both: SQUIDWARD!
50
00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:24,210
- [groaning]
51
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,650
[gibberish]
52
00:02:25,650 --> 00:02:29,110
- HEY, HE'S MUMBLING
AND DROOLING LIKE A LITTLE BABY.
53
00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:30,610
- OOH, I DON'T KNOW,
PATRICK.
54
00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:32,110
HE ISN'T LOOKING
SO GOOD.
55
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,780
HE SHOULD PROBABLY
SEE A DOCTOR.
56
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,980
COME ON, LET'S TAKE HIM
TO THE HOSPITAL.
57
00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,280
- HANG IN THERE,
BUDDY.
58
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,050
WE'LL HAVE YOU FIXED UP
IN NO TIME.
59
00:02:39,050 --> 00:02:41,050
- [grunting]
60
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:43,580
- HMM.
61
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,910
- [gibberish]
62
00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:48,110
- SO WHAT'S THE PROGNOSIS,
DOCTOR?
63
00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:51,580
- YOUR FRIEND HAS A CONDITION
KNOWN BY THE MEDICAL TERM
64
00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:54,010
OF "HEAD-GO-BOOM-BOOM-ITIS."
65
00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:55,250
NOT TO WORRY THOUGH,
66
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,450
HE SHOULD RECOVER NORMALLY
OVER TIME.
67
00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,950
BUT HE MUSTN'T RECEIVE
ANY MORE BLOWS TO THE HEAD,
68
00:03:00,950 --> 00:03:04,550
OR HE MAY REMAIN
THIS WAY PERMANENTLY.
69
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:06,150
JUST CARE FOR HIM
AS IF HE WERE
70
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:11,010
YOUR VERY OWN BOUNCING BABY BOY,
AND HE'LL BE FINE.
71
00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,510
- HEY, LITTLE SQUIDWARD.
72
00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:14,650
YOU READY FOR SOME FUN?
73
00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:16,850
WHOOPY-DOO!
74
00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:19,450
- OKAY, SQUIDDY,
DIN-DIN IS READY.
75
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:22,550
WHERE IS
OUR LITTLE MIRACLE?
76
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:25,580
[gasps]
PATRICK, HOW COULD YOU?
77
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:29,080
THERE, THERE,
MY LITTLE DARLING.
78
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,010
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT
HIS HEAD, REMEMBER?
79
00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:36,410
OKAY, SQUIDDY,
I MADE YOUR FAVORITE,
80
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:38,410
KRILL TARTARE
WITH AN ALGAE VINAIGRETTE.
81
00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:40,580
HERE IT COMES,
OPEN WIDE.
82
00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:41,610
- MM.
83
00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:42,780
- AW, COME ON,
LITTLE BUDDY.
84
00:03:42,780 --> 00:03:43,980
YOU GOTTA EAT HEALTHY,
SO YOU CAN
85
00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:45,680
GROW UP BIG AND CRANKY.
86
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,510
JUST WATCH THE AIRPLANE
LAND IN THE HANGAR.
87
00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:51,550
[imitates airplane]
88
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:54,480
SEE, PATRICK, SOMETIMES
YOU GOTTA OUTTHINK THE BABY.
89
00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:59,510
- [grunts]
90
00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:02,680
- YOU KNOW WHAT, PATRICK?
MAYBE WE--
91
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,910
- AHH, THANKS FOR SHARING,
BABY.
92
00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:08,580
- OKAY,
TIME TO LIVEN THINGS UP.
93
00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:09,850
DO YOU LIKE GAMES,
SQUIDDY?
94
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,680
- GAMES IS
OUR MIDDLE NAME.
95
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,580
- [gibberish]
96
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:16,310
both: KELPY CAKE, KELPY CAKE,
KELPY MAN,
97
00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:19,250
BAKE US A CAKE
AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
98
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:22,050
- [laughs]
99
00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:24,010
[gibberish]
- YOU LIKE THAT, SQUIDDY?
100
00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:25,780
- [gibberish]
101
00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:26,950
- HE DOES!
102
00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:28,180
- NOW YOU TRY.
103
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,910
both: KELPY CAKE--
104
00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,850
- [laughs]
105
00:04:33,850 --> 00:04:35,050
[both groaning]
106
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:36,350
- THIS GAME'S
KINDA DANGEROUS.
107
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:38,410
- [gibberish]
108
00:04:38,410 --> 00:04:40,350
both: SQUIDDY!
109
00:04:44,310 --> 00:04:46,950
- [snoring]
110
00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:49,050
both: SQUIDDY, NO!
111
00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:51,980
- DON'T WORRY,
I'VE GOT THIS.
112
00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:55,910
[grunts]
113
00:04:57,850 --> 00:05:00,150
- HOORAY!
114
00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:03,950
[gasps]
SQUIDWARD!
115
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:06,950
SQUIDDY, ARE YOU OKAY?
116
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,550
WE NEED TO DO A BETTER JOB
OF PROTECTING HIM.
117
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,550
- [crying]
118
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,210
- THERE, THERE, NOW.
119
00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:24,180
NO NEED TO CRY.
120
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:28,310
[shushing]
121
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:29,780
EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE OKAY.
122
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,110
- [crying]
123
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:32,780
- EH, DON'T WORRY,
HE'LL--
124
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:35,250
HE'LL BE SETTLED DOWN
IN A COUPLE MINUTES.
125
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:40,180
- [crying]
[cheerful music on TV]
126
00:05:41,910 --> 00:05:44,350
[crying]
127
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:48,150
[crying]
128
00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:52,080
[crying]
129
00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:58,380
[crying]
130
00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:03,880
[crying]
131
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,880
[crying]
132
00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:17,810
- IT'S ONE MINUTE
TILL OPENING.
133
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:20,280
WHERE THE BARNACLES
ARE ME EMPLOYEREES?
134
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,910
I DON'T PAY 'EM TO BE LATE.
135
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:23,850
[thunder booming]
136
00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:28,110
- TAKING CARE OF A BABY
SURE IS HARD.
137
00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,110
- YOU SAID IT.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
138
00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:31,780
HEY, PATRICK,
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.
139
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,210
WOULD YOU MIND
HOLDING SQUIDW--
140
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,780
- [snoring]
141
00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:35,950
- [sighs]
142
00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:37,450
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ON OUR OWN,
LITTLE FELLA.
143
00:06:37,450 --> 00:06:40,610
SPONGEBOB, SQUIDWARD,
ENOUGH DUFF-DRAGGIN'.
144
00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:42,780
GET TO YOUR STATIONS,
PRONTO.
145
00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,880
- MR. KRABS, SQUIDWARD
IS IN NO CONDITION
146
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,780
TO PERFORM
HIS KRUSTY DUTIES.
147
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:50,110
- [gibberish]
148
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,780
- THE POOR GUY HAS
THE MIND OF AN INFANT.
149
00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:54,350
- I DON'T CARE IF HE HAS
SEAWEED FOR BRAINS.
150
00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:56,410
HE NEEDS TO BE
BEHIND THAT REGISTER.
151
00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:58,180
WE GOT CUSTOMERS OUT THERE
JUST BEGGING
152
00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,580
TO HAND ME THEIR MONEY.
153
00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:01,110
- OH, PLEASE!
- PLEASE!
154
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,780
- TAKE OUR MONEY!
- PLEASE, MR. KRABS.
155
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:04,910
- BUT--
- NO BUTS!
156
00:07:04,910 --> 00:07:08,780
GET TO WORK, YOU TWO.
157
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:11,250
- ALL SETTLED
INTO YOUR WORKSTATION, I SEE.
158
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:13,780
MAYBE YOU'RE READY FOR
YOUR KRUSTY DUTIES AFTER ALL.
159
00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:15,650
NOW LET'S MAKE IT OFFICIAL.
160
00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:16,680
- [mumbles]
161
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,450
- [chuckles]
HOW SILLY OF ME.
162
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:23,380
SQUIDDY NEEDS
A HIGH CHAIR.
163
00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:28,810
[register dings]
AND DUCT TAPE!
164
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:31,450
OH, SQUIDDY,
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
165
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,550
JUST YESTERDAY YOU WERE
DROOLING ALL OVER ME.
166
00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:35,780
AND LOOK AT YOU NOW,
WORKING
167
00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:37,350
AND SITTING IN
A BIG BOY SEAT.
168
00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:39,510
- ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU TWO.
169
00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:41,380
TIME TO SERVE
SOME CUSTOMERS.
170
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:43,210
[indistinct chatter]
- ALL RIGHT!
171
00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:46,880
- REMEMBER, BUDDY,
I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YA.
172
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,510
- CAN I GET A KRABBY PATTY
AND A LARGE KELP SHAKE, PLEASE?
173
00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:53,110
- [gibberish]
174
00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:55,610
- OKAY, HOW MUCH
DO I OWE YOU?
175
00:07:55,610 --> 00:07:58,650
- [laughs]
176
00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:01,050
- SQUIDWARD!
177
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:04,350
THAT'S NOT FOR EATING.
178
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:08,050
THERE WE ARE,
GOOD AS NEW--
179
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:10,650
THAT'S NOT
FOR EATING EITHER.
180
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,450
SORRY, SIR.
- HOP TO IT, BOYS.
181
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,450
WE HAVEN'T EVEN TAKEN
OUR FIRST ORDER.
182
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,780
- YES, MR. KRABS.
183
00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:17,180
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
184
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,850
- [laughs]
185
00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:22,210
- THANKS, SQUIDDY, I CAN ALWAYS
COUNT ON--HUH?
186
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:26,710
WILL THIS BE FOR HERE
OR TO GO?
187
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:29,980
- [laughs]
188
00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:32,250
- YOU HAVE TO WORK
ON YOUR PENMANSHIP, SQUIDDY.
189
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:35,110
- [gibberish]
190
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:37,250
- MY FACE! MY FACE!
191
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,850
ALSO MY LEG,
BUT MOSTLY MY FACE!
192
00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:41,710
- HEY, YOU GONNA
TAKE AN ORDER, OR WHAT?
193
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:43,780
- [gibberish]
194
00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:45,380
[register dings]
195
00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:47,750
[crying]
196
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:49,250
- SQUIDWARD.
197
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,510
YELLING AT A POOR,
DEFENSELESS BABY--
198
00:08:51,510 --> 00:08:52,810
YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED.
199
00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:56,210
- LISTEN, MAN, I'M DONE
PLAYING THESE BABY GAMES.
200
00:08:56,210 --> 00:08:57,550
[sniffing]
201
00:08:57,550 --> 00:08:58,950
OH, MY NEPTUNE.
202
00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:00,510
- [crying]
203
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:03,910
- OH, WHAT IS THAT?
204
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,310
- HEY, HONEY,
DID YOU, UH--
205
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,250
- WHAT IN BLAZES
IS GOING ON AROUND--
206
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:09,080
WHOA!
207
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,850
MR. SQUIDWARD,
WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS?
208
00:09:12,850 --> 00:09:14,250
- MR. KRABS,
WATCH HIS HEAD!
209
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,610
- WATCH HIS HEAD?
210
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:18,610
WHY DON'T YOU
WATCH HIS DIAPER?
211
00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:20,650
AND GET IT CHANGED!
212
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:23,050
- SIR, YES, SIR.
213
00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:25,410
- OH.
- WE'RE EATING HERE.
214
00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:29,110
- SORRY.
215
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,810
- HEY, I'M TRYING
TO WALK HERE.
216
00:09:30,810 --> 00:09:32,610
- SORRY.
217
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:35,250
- HEY, I WAS GONNA
GET KETCHUP THERE!
218
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:37,550
- SORRY.
219
00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:40,650
- OKAY, SQUIDDY,
HOLD STILL.
220
00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:43,050
OH, BOY.
221
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,110
- ARE YOU
OUT OF YOUR EVER-LOVIN' MIND?
222
00:09:45,110 --> 00:09:46,680
YOU CAN'T CHANGE
THAT BABY OUT HERE
223
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,010
IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMERS.
224
00:09:48,010 --> 00:09:50,450
TAKE HIM IN BACK
WHERE THE FOOD IS PREPARED.
225
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:54,080
[all groaning]
226
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,580
OH, THAT'S IT.
227
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:58,780
GET THAT POOPY BABY
OUT OF ME RESTAURANT.
228
00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:01,650
- [sniffs] MR. KRABS,
IF MY POOPY BABY
229
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:04,350
ISN'T WELCOME HERE,
THEN I'M NOT STAYING EITHER.
230
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:05,780
WHOA!
231
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:07,480
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
232
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:12,280
[yelling]
233
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,980
- [grunts]
234
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,910
[grunts]
235
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:22,350
- [gasps]
SQUIDWARD.
236
00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,950
- [groans]
237
00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:26,250
WHAT THE--
238
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,780
WHERE AM I?
239
00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:29,280
WHAT'S GOING ON?
240
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,180
- AH, SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE BACK
TO YOUR GROWN-UP SELF.
241
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:34,010
- OF COURSE
I'M GROWN-UP.
242
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,850
WHY WOULDN'T I BE?
243
00:10:36,850 --> 00:10:39,350
UM, I'M WEARING
A DIAPER.
244
00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:41,580
- YES.
- IS IT FULL?
245
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:43,180
AAH!
246
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:45,510
- SORRY, SQUIDWARD,
I WAS GONNA CHANGE IT, BUT I--
247
00:10:45,510 --> 00:10:47,010
- STOP.
248
00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:52,550
NOT ANOTHER WORD
ABOUT THIS, EVER.
249
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:55,410
- KIDS--THEY GROW UP
SO FAST.
16306
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