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1
00:00:02,278 --> 00:00:04,383
Shitty thing.
2
00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:06,154
Guillermo... He doesn'’t
live here anymore.
3
00:00:06,178 --> 00:00:08,111
How is it? I can'’t see.
4
00:00:08,284 --> 00:00:11,045
Tonight we are attending
a very special event.
5
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,254
Ha!
6
00:00:13,427 --> 00:00:15,118
Aye, fuck.
7
00:00:15,291 --> 00:00:19,605
The Baron is receiving an eternal
lifetime achievement award.
8
00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:24,024
I have never heard of such a
thing, but it sounds very cool.
9
00:00:25,956 --> 00:00:28,373
[Nadja] It is about time
our Baron got recognized
10
00:00:28,545 --> 00:00:31,376
for all the incredible work he
does in our local community.
11
00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:33,447
- Yeah.
- He has done so much for all of us,
12
00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:36,346
- both as a leader and as a reliable lay.
- [Laszlo] Yeah.
13
00:00:36,484 --> 00:00:39,004
Of course I am quite
accustomed to being exalted...
14
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:42,111
- [Sire growling]
- praised, feared. [laughs]
15
00:00:42,283 --> 00:00:44,803
But this shall be a
night to remember.
16
00:00:44,975 --> 00:00:47,875
Alas, no. The Sire
cannot make it.
17
00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:50,740
Our usual sitter just started
at Northwestern and, well...
18
00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:52,086
- [retches]
- Oh!
19
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:54,330
You know how hard it
is to find someone new.
20
00:00:54,537 --> 00:00:57,057
- Baron, give us a twirl.
- [chuckling] Oh, no.
21
00:00:57,195 --> 00:00:59,611
- [Nandor] Yes, please, Baron.
- [Nadja] Look at him go. Wow.
22
00:00:59,783 --> 00:01:01,451
- [Nandor] Spin, Baron, spin.
- [Nadja] Wow.
23
00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:04,478
Look at you all.
Where are we going?
24
00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:06,997
We are going to an event
to honor the Baron.
25
00:01:07,205 --> 00:01:08,758
- Oh.
- [Nandor] And you are not.
26
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:11,830
- Oh.
- Because you have made it very clear
27
00:01:12,002 --> 00:01:15,972
that your future lies with
the humans, not the vampires.
28
00:01:16,145 --> 00:01:18,630
- That'’s not fair.
- [Nandor] Guillermo, we are a family.
29
00:01:18,802 --> 00:01:20,632
- Right.
- We will always be a family.
30
00:01:20,804 --> 00:01:23,807
- Thank you. [chuckles] - And you
are no longer part of the family.
31
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:26,983
- Capisce?
- Because you rejected your vampire family.
32
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:28,778
- I didn'’t...
- Yeah. The "vamily."
33
00:01:29,468 --> 00:01:32,161
Oh. Colin Robinson, no.
34
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:34,301
- Hell-lo.
- Here he is.
35
00:01:34,473 --> 00:01:35,647
- Shall we saddle up?
- Yes.
36
00:01:35,819 --> 00:01:37,625
Well, why does the monster
get to go and not me?
37
00:01:37,649 --> 00:01:39,444
- "Vamily."
- [Colin] Yeah.
38
00:01:39,582 --> 00:01:42,102
- [Nadja] No, not him as well.
- [Laszlo] Very good. [laughs]
39
00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:21,313
Yeah, I'’m a little hurt I'’m not
going to the vampire gathering tonight,
40
00:02:21,486 --> 00:02:23,936
but it'’s probably for
the best, you know?
41
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,280
Besides, I already made plans to
hang out with my cousin Miguel.
42
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:31,530
Actually, Miguel and I used to be
really close when I was little.
43
00:02:32,393 --> 00:02:35,051
But then he kinda
became this, like, jock.
44
00:02:35,224 --> 00:02:37,398
We grew apart,
45
00:02:37,571 --> 00:02:40,850
but our moms are determined that we
be really good friends. [chuckles]
46
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:45,165
We'’re gonna... hang out.
47
00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:54,035
- Miguel! Hey. [chuckling]
- Hey. How you doing?
48
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,245
[laughing] You love it.
49
00:02:56,417 --> 00:02:57,617
- No, I don'’t.
- Yeah, you do.
50
00:02:57,729 --> 00:03:00,214
No, I don'’t. [chuckling]
I really don'’t.
51
00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:03,424
We should'’ve done this sooner. I
was working at this job, you know?
52
00:03:03,597 --> 00:03:06,600
It was crazy. I had to get outta there.
I was starting to lose my mind...
53
00:03:06,772 --> 00:03:09,533
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Memo. I don'’t
need the whole pinche novella, okay?
54
00:03:09,741 --> 00:03:10,811
Losers first.
55
00:03:11,018 --> 00:03:12,218
[Miguel] Go get '’em, slugger.
56
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:13,883
Oh!
57
00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:15,815
Strike one!
58
00:03:15,954 --> 00:03:17,404
Little out of
practice there, Memo?
59
00:03:17,576 --> 00:03:19,060
I don'’t think I was
ever in practice.
60
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,476
What are you talking about?
61
00:03:20,683 --> 00:03:22,488
We used to play all the
time when we were little.
62
00:03:22,512 --> 00:03:23,755
Ah!
63
00:03:23,927 --> 00:03:25,929
[Miguel] Gotta keep your
eyes on the ball, Memo.
64
00:03:26,102 --> 00:03:30,279
[Nandor] There it is. Every gang in the
tristate area is here. How delightful.
65
00:03:30,451 --> 00:03:33,420
- [hisses] - [Colin] Yeah. Looks
like everyone came out to play.
66
00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:35,605
- [Nandor] Salutations.
- [Colin] The Warriors. Walter Hill. 1979.
67
00:03:35,629 --> 00:03:36,630
Exciting.
68
00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:41,186
- [Laszlo] What a turnout.
- [Nadja] Look up there. It'’s the Fly Guys.
69
00:03:41,393 --> 00:03:44,500
[Nandor] Oh, wow. I haven'’t seen
the Lower East Side Vampire Punks
70
00:03:44,672 --> 00:03:47,330
since one spat on me in 1983.
71
00:03:47,503 --> 00:03:49,953
I was cool with it. It'’s
what we did back then.
72
00:03:50,126 --> 00:03:53,405
- Hello, Hamptons vampires.
- Like, "Hampires."
73
00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:55,580
- Stop it!
- I hate these dipshits.
74
00:03:55,752 --> 00:03:59,169
But kinda makes you proud,
you know? Our people.
75
00:03:59,342 --> 00:04:02,621
[chuckling] So,
this is all for me?
76
00:04:02,794 --> 00:04:05,314
- Baron Afanas, there you are.
- [Baron] Ah.
77
00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:06,522
- Hi.
- Hello.
78
00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:08,627
You look lovely tonight.
79
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,285
- [chuckles] - I mean, you
look lovely every night.
80
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:13,322
- We all look lovely tonight.
- Ugh.
81
00:04:13,494 --> 00:04:15,876
- You included.
- Thank you.
82
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,706
All right. I'’m just going
to bring you up to the stage,
83
00:04:18,879 --> 00:04:20,708
- and then Jerry will introduce you.
- [growls]
84
00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:23,470
- [Nandor] Jerry is here?
- Who Jerry?
85
00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:25,817
Jerry'’s the one who
put on this whole event.
86
00:04:25,989 --> 00:04:28,889
Look out, Manhattan all-girls
private-school vampires.
87
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:32,513
Vicious, ruthless killers, both
socially and in a murder sense.
88
00:04:32,686 --> 00:04:33,997
What'’s up, girlies?
89
00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:37,138
- [girls scoff, laugh]
- Ew.
90
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,311
- Hey!
- Told ya.
91
00:04:39,037 --> 00:04:41,142
- Check one, check two.
- [Nandor] Cute.
92
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:44,145
Hello. Hi.
93
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:47,090
[Nandor] I can'’t believe this total
zero gets to introduce the Baron Afanas.
94
00:04:47,114 --> 00:04:48,564
Doesn'’t seem right.
95
00:04:48,736 --> 00:04:51,256
He hasn'’t even sucked him
off, let alone been nuts deep.
96
00:04:51,429 --> 00:04:52,671
- [shushes]
- All right.
97
00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:54,339
- Just be quiet.
- [Laszlo] You be quiet.
98
00:04:54,363 --> 00:04:57,055
Can you count, suckers?
99
00:04:57,227 --> 00:05:00,507
- [vampires cheering]
- [air horn blows]
100
00:05:00,679 --> 00:05:02,509
[Jerry] Look around you.
101
00:05:02,681 --> 00:05:05,201
Look at all these
different vampires,
102
00:05:05,374 --> 00:05:07,283
- all gathered together as one.
- [vampires cheer]
103
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,481
[Jerry] Yes. How about it?
104
00:05:09,654 --> 00:05:11,552
We'’ve got our Coney
Island carny vampires...
105
00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:13,140
[vampires cheering, applauding]
106
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,487
[Jerry] ...side by side with
our leatherette vampires.
107
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:18,697
- We'’ve got our Rockaway surfers...
- [air horns blow]
108
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:21,631
right next to our
JFK TSA vampires.
109
00:05:21,804 --> 00:05:26,809
- Thank you for your service!
- This city doesn'’t bleed without you all.
110
00:05:26,981 --> 00:05:28,673
[cheering]
111
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:31,158
- [Nandor] Yes!
- That'’s right! That'’s right, Jerry!
112
00:05:31,296 --> 00:05:35,852
Tonight we'’ve gathered to hear
from our esteemed leader...
113
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:38,924
- [cheering]
- the great Baron Afanas.
114
00:05:39,097 --> 00:05:43,619
Our supreme commander in charge
of our conquest of the New World.
115
00:05:43,791 --> 00:05:44,965
[Nandor] Yes, conquest!
116
00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:49,901
At least, that was
the plan, right?
117
00:05:50,591 --> 00:05:51,972
- [cheering stops]
- Wasn'’t it?
118
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,353
Taking over the New World?
119
00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:57,056
- [vampire 1 clears throat]
- People feeling good about it?
120
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,737
I'’m just asking
questions. I don'’t know.
121
00:05:58,910 --> 00:06:02,741
Maybe the Baron will be able to
provide some of these answers tonight.
122
00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:06,538
Maybe there'’s a
perfectly good explanation
123
00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:10,887
for why we were sent here 250
years ago to conquer the continent
124
00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:14,235
and we still find ourselves
cowering in the shadows.
125
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:19,309
- Do you have an answer for that? Do you know why?
- [Nandor] What'’s this shit?
126
00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:21,346
- [vampire 2] When can we move on?
- Jerry.
127
00:06:21,519 --> 00:06:23,590
That introduction I
cannot live up to.
128
00:06:23,762 --> 00:06:26,662
- Thank you, thank you.
- '’Cause here'’s what I wanna know.
129
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:29,434
- [Laszlo] What the fuck?
- [Jerry] Does the fault lie in ourselves?
130
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,425
Does it lie in our stars?
131
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:33,220
Or...
132
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:37,466
- does it lie in our leadership?
- [vampires clamoring]
133
00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:39,927
- [vampire 4] He has a point!
- I'’m genuinely asking. I don'’t know.
134
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:41,307
- [The Guide] Hey, hey.
- [Laszlo] What is he talking about?
135
00:06:41,331 --> 00:06:43,299
Move! [grunts]
136
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,751
Gimme that. How dare
you disrespect this man?
137
00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:49,512
- [Laszlo] Hear! Hear!
- This is the great,
138
00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:52,446
the beautiful Baron Afanas.
139
00:06:52,619 --> 00:06:57,486
[cheering]
140
00:06:57,658 --> 00:07:01,455
And this man, this mixer
of boiling hot feces,
141
00:07:01,628 --> 00:07:03,353
he knows not of his place.
142
00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:07,150
He'’s nothing but a sower of
discontent and disrespect.
143
00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:08,980
- [spits]
- [grunts] Let me see that.
144
00:07:09,152 --> 00:07:10,647
- [Nadja] Puttana! No!
- Let me see that.
145
00:07:10,671 --> 00:07:12,151
- No. No. Shut up!
- Hold on. Hold on.
146
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:14,744
- [monster growling]
- No. No, no, don'’t...
147
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:16,159
[crowd gasps]
148
00:07:19,577 --> 00:07:21,095
- [whimpers]
- [Laszlo] Ah!
149
00:07:21,268 --> 00:07:22,683
[monster groans]
150
00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:25,548
- [Baron] Uh...
- Okay. Uh, that was not my fault.
151
00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:27,723
- [Nadja chuckles]
- [gasping, murmuring]
152
00:07:27,895 --> 00:07:30,702
- [monster growls] - [vampire 5] Jerry
was killed by that Frankenstein monster!
153
00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:32,600
- [crowd clamoring]
- It'’s Cravensworth'’s monster.
154
00:07:32,624 --> 00:07:34,523
Run! Run!
155
00:07:34,695 --> 00:07:37,491
They killed Jerry! The Staten
Island vampires killed Jerry!
156
00:07:37,664 --> 00:07:40,011
- No, we didn'’t.
- Kill them!
157
00:07:40,183 --> 00:07:42,343
- [crowd shouting] - We should
get the fuck out of here!
158
00:07:48,157 --> 00:07:50,953
[vampire 7] Kill them!
159
00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:07,694
Fucking hell. How many
bats are up there?
160
00:08:07,866 --> 00:08:09,868
[Nadja] So flying
home is not an option.
161
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,388
[Nandor] Where do we go, what
do we do and how do we do it?
162
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:16,047
[whimpers] We need to get home.
Which way is home? Is it north?
163
00:08:16,219 --> 00:08:18,715
- I'’m certain we are south.
- No. No, we'’re not. I'’m feeling east.
164
00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:20,339
[Colin] You know I
can'’t fly, you dicks.
165
00:08:20,396 --> 00:08:22,674
[Nadja] Ah. Colin Robinson,
do you know how to get home?
166
00:08:22,847 --> 00:08:24,883
- No, I have no idea. I...
- [groans]
167
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:28,369
I never thought I'’d ever say this,
but I think we need to call Gizmo.
168
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,982
- [Nadja] Ah! Yes.
- Yes, great idea.
169
00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:33,685
Guillermo!
170
00:08:33,858 --> 00:08:36,446
Not like that, you fucking idiot.
With the phone that he'’s doing.
171
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:38,276
I can also try echolocating.
172
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:41,659
- [vocalizes]
- Nadja, I'’m on the phone!
173
00:08:41,831 --> 00:08:43,706
[Miguel] Come one, man. That'’s
why you gotta concentrate.
174
00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,283
[Guillermo] I was concentrating.
175
00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:47,775
- [grunts] - So this new job
has a documentary about it too?
176
00:08:49,252 --> 00:08:51,807
No, it'’s actually
the same documentary.
177
00:08:51,979 --> 00:08:54,292
It just now follows a
guy who quits his old job
178
00:08:54,464 --> 00:08:56,639
and goes out into
the regular world.
179
00:08:56,812 --> 00:09:00,298
Okay, word. So it'’s like
Sling Blade. But boring.
180
00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:02,725
Know what, Miguel? This is why
I don'’t hang out with you.
181
00:09:02,749 --> 00:09:04,785
You don'’t hang out
with any of the familia.
182
00:09:04,958 --> 00:09:08,133
I don'’t because every time I do, they
make me feel guilty that I'’m always busy.
183
00:09:08,306 --> 00:09:10,446
This was a mistake. I'’m
sorry. I'’m gonna go, okay?
184
00:09:10,619 --> 00:09:13,483
Hey, hey. Come on, Memo.
I'’m not mad at you, man.
185
00:09:13,656 --> 00:09:16,072
We love you. All
right? We were worried.
186
00:09:16,245 --> 00:09:18,385
We never saw you. You'’re
out there on your own.
187
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,397
You never even talked
about having any friends.
188
00:09:20,421 --> 00:09:22,562
Don'’t worry about me, okay?
I have plenty of friends.
189
00:09:22,734 --> 00:09:25,471
Oh, really? That'’s great. Name me one
friend. Like, who'’s your best friend?
190
00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:28,084
That would be, uh, Nandor.
191
00:09:28,257 --> 00:09:29,603
Nandor?
192
00:09:29,776 --> 00:09:31,856
My... My boss. My ex-boss.
He'’s not my boss anymore.
193
00:09:31,916 --> 00:09:33,814
Your best friend is
your former boss?
194
00:09:33,987 --> 00:09:35,930
- [phone buzzing] - I know,
okay? It'’s complicated, but...
195
00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:36,954
Wait.
196
00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:38,543
Colin?
197
00:09:38,716 --> 00:09:40,234
Wait, slow down. What?
198
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,412
[Miguel] Here we go, Mr. Drama
Queen. Just like always.
199
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,460
Every time we start to have fun, you all
of a sudden have an emergency somewhere.
200
00:09:48,484 --> 00:09:50,693
- My friends need help. They'’re in danger.
- In danger?
201
00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:53,186
It'’s gonna sound crazy, but
someone'’s trying to kill them.
202
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:56,216
- What the fuck?
- Just please let me go.
203
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,815
No, no. Fuck that. I'’m going
with you, all right? Let'’s roll.
204
00:09:58,839 --> 00:10:00,437
You don'’t even know them.
Why would you wanna come?
205
00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:02,429
I don'’t need to know them.
206
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,202
You'’re my familia, all right? I
have to have your back. Let'’s go.
207
00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:08,867
- Okay.
- An attack on your friends is an attack on all of us.
208
00:10:09,022 --> 00:10:10,817
Seat belt on.
209
00:10:10,989 --> 00:10:13,209
Wait. You should know before we
go that my friends, they'’re...
210
00:10:13,233 --> 00:10:14,233
they'’re not like
211
00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:17,893
the regular people
that you know.
212
00:10:18,065 --> 00:10:21,545
Memo, will you chill out? I have gay friends,
all right? It'’s not a big deal. !¡AÁndale!
213
00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:24,934
[girls giggling]
214
00:10:25,107 --> 00:10:27,074
And remember, when we
find them, I get dibs
215
00:10:27,247 --> 00:10:30,087
- on killing the one with the really gross man bun.
- [girl 1] So cringe.
216
00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:32,424
[girls laugh]
217
00:10:32,597 --> 00:10:34,610
- [girl 2] They'’re not here. Let'’s go.
- [girl 1] Okay, let'’s go.
218
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,945
[rumbling]
219
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,434
- Okay. That was not supposed to go that way.
- [cat screeches]
220
00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:45,817
I cannot believe that Jerry
betrayed the Baron like that.
221
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:48,233
As long as you are all right,
that'’s all that matters.
222
00:10:48,406 --> 00:10:50,650
- Ugh.
- [The Guide] I have been serving Jerry for months.
223
00:10:50,822 --> 00:10:52,928
I feel so betrayed.
I'’m so sorry.
224
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,862
I hear you, I hear you. You
know, trust is essential...
225
00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:58,830
Um... We'’re just gonna give you
guys a minute. Just give you some...
226
00:10:59,003 --> 00:11:00,843
[Nandor] Sounds like this
Jerry does not get...
227
00:11:01,005 --> 00:11:05,043
Laszlo, why did your monster flip
the fuck out and pop Jerry'’s head?
228
00:11:05,216 --> 00:11:08,115
He was just performing
his duties as a protector.
229
00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:12,050
Well, then how do I know that he might
not just flip out one day and pop my head?
230
00:11:12,223 --> 00:11:14,623
- My monster would never do that.
- How could you be so sure?
231
00:11:14,743 --> 00:11:17,573
Look at the mess that
thing has created.
232
00:11:17,746 --> 00:11:22,267
That lumbering, demented donkey of a
creature is clearly capable of anything.
233
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,686
No, no, no. He'’s not. My darling,
my monster would never hurt you.
234
00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:28,515
I didn'’t want you to know,
235
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,069
but the sole objective of
creating him in the first place
236
00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:32,553
was to keep you safe.
237
00:11:33,382 --> 00:11:34,521
What?
238
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,524
My darling, if anything
were to happen to me,
239
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,560
- you would be protected.
- [laughs]
240
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,528
- What?
- When have I ever needed protecting
241
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,736
from anything or anyone?
242
00:11:42,909 --> 00:11:44,393
I knew you'’d react like this.
243
00:11:44,565 --> 00:11:46,084
For the record, my darling,
244
00:11:46,257 --> 00:11:49,225
I was a vampire on
my own for centuries.
245
00:11:49,398 --> 00:11:51,641
Before you came along,
Mr. Cravensworth,
246
00:11:51,814 --> 00:11:56,474
I once ripped an entire pack of
werewolves to shreds with my bare fangs
247
00:11:56,646 --> 00:11:59,649
and then scattered their entrails
on the road like a confetti.
248
00:11:59,822 --> 00:12:03,619
- I'’ve heard this story a thousand...
- Ah! A confetti.
249
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,831
[Laszlo] The skies are clear.
250
00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:10,602
[The Guide] Let'’s try
to get our bearings.
251
00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:13,491
- [Nadja gasps] Look. Look down there.
- [chattering]
252
00:12:13,663 --> 00:12:17,598
Athletes preparing for a
baseball game? At this hour?
253
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,809
They'’re not athletes, you tit.
They'’re the Bronx Bomber vampires.
254
00:12:20,981 --> 00:12:22,569
Well, they'’re looking for us.
255
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,927
Good. Let'’s just take them on
and get this over with. [hisses]
256
00:12:24,951 --> 00:12:26,262
No, we should cross the bridge.
257
00:12:26,435 --> 00:12:28,126
- [Nandor] Okay.
- [Nadja scoffs]
258
00:12:28,299 --> 00:12:29,759
- [Colin] Keep walking.
- [The Guide] They'’re coming up here!
259
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,623
- [Colin] Just keep walking.
- [bats squeaking]
260
00:12:31,681 --> 00:12:33,073
- [Nandor] What now?
- [Laszlo] Shit.
261
00:12:33,097 --> 00:12:36,134
Oh, no. It'’s the Meatpacking
District vampires.
262
00:12:36,307 --> 00:12:38,343
[Laszlo] As deadly as
they are beautiful.
263
00:12:38,516 --> 00:12:40,104
I wouldn'’t mind
having my meat packed.
264
00:12:40,276 --> 00:12:42,451
- This way. To the subway.
- [Nadja] Shut the fuck up.
265
00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:44,902
- [Nandor] Flee! Down here!
- [Laszlo] We must run!
266
00:12:45,074 --> 00:12:47,111
[Laszlo] Come on.
Take cover fast!
267
00:12:47,283 --> 00:12:49,468
- [The Guide] Fuck yeah. I see an entrance.
- [bats squeaking]
268
00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:50,839
[Nadja] Come on. Hurry.
269
00:12:51,011 --> 00:12:52,609
[The Guide] Does the subway
even go to Staten Island?
270
00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:54,680
- [Nandor] Stay close, Blondie.
- [Laszlo] What the fuck?
271
00:12:54,704 --> 00:12:56,824
- [Nandor] Hey. What'’s this shit?
- [The Guide yelps]
272
00:12:56,948 --> 00:12:58,926
- [Nadja] Great. Jumping vampires.
- [Laszlo] All right. Cool down.
273
00:12:58,950 --> 00:13:00,469
[Nadja] Is it hat vampires?
274
00:13:00,641 --> 00:13:02,712
- [Laszlo] Fuck off. Fuck off.
- [Nando] Oh, shit.
275
00:13:02,885 --> 00:13:04,749
[Nadja] No. What are they?
276
00:13:04,922 --> 00:13:06,026
These guys are the, uh...
277
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:07,579
[hissing]
278
00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:10,444
I don'’t actually know what
kind of vampires these are.
279
00:13:10,617 --> 00:13:13,482
- Are they '’80s vampires?
- Breakdance vampires?
280
00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:16,623
No, I think they'’re
Fame the movie vampires,
281
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,143
or Fame the TV show vampires.
282
00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:23,147
And the space suit fella must
represent MTV or something.
283
00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:25,805
Then what'’s with the
riverboat gambler guy?
284
00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:27,657
[Colin] They lost me
there. I have no clue.
285
00:13:27,737 --> 00:13:29,670
You killed Jerry the vampire.
286
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,328
No, no. That was done
by a random monster.
287
00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:33,661
- Shazam!
- [The Guide] Uh-oh.
288
00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:35,815
- Five, six, seven, eight.
- [The Guide] No!
289
00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:37,827
- [♪ "Planet Rock" plays]
- [Nandor] What'’s this shit?
290
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,680
- [The Guide] Ooh!
- [Nadja] Oh! Okay.
291
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,200
They'’re twinkle-toe
vampires. I got this.
292
00:13:43,477 --> 00:13:44,754
[Nadja laughs]
293
00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:46,836
Have you ever seen feet
move at this medium pace?
294
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,700
- [Laszlo] All right.
- [Nandor] That'’s a nice one. Aha!
295
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:50,174
[The Guide] Oh.
296
00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:52,348
- [Laszlo] Fuck off. [hisses]
- [Colin] Wow.
297
00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:54,592
- [The Guide] It'’s really good.
- [Nandor] Not bad.
298
00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:56,387
- Oh...
- [Laszlo] Fuck this shit.
299
00:13:57,215 --> 00:13:59,079
- [vampires grunt]
- [The Guide] What? What?
300
00:13:59,252 --> 00:14:00,840
- [Colin] Okay.
- [Nadja] What the fuck?
301
00:14:01,012 --> 00:14:02,255
- [air hissing]
- [groaning]
302
00:14:02,427 --> 00:14:03,670
[Nadja] Fuck, Laszlo!
303
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,441
[Colin] They really
weren'’t that threatening.
304
00:14:05,465 --> 00:14:06,960
- [Nadja] You idiot.
- [Laszlo giggles]
305
00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:09,227
- [gambler vampire groans]
- [Colin] Well, he'’s dead.
306
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,080
- [Nandor] Full house.
- I was handling it.
307
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:12,196
- Sorry.
- [Nadja groans]
308
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:13,728
Let'’s just keep
moving, all right?
309
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,130
We'’ll get above ground...
310
00:14:15,302 --> 00:14:16,762
- Okay.
- So Guillermo can find us.
311
00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:18,386
- [Nandor] Good idea.
- [Nadja] Whatever.
312
00:14:18,547 --> 00:14:20,747
[Nandor] You know, I really
like it when you take charge.
313
00:14:24,104 --> 00:14:25,737
- [tires squealing]
- [Miguel] No, no, no.
314
00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:27,601
Don'’t worry about the address.
I'’ll text when I get it.
315
00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:30,076
Just gather '’em up. Keep your
phone on, all right? All right.
316
00:14:30,248 --> 00:14:31,905
- [phone beeps]
- Who was that?
317
00:14:32,078 --> 00:14:34,090
- Some friends. In case we need backup.
- [Guillermo] Backup?
318
00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:36,921
You said your friends are gonna get
killed. I don'’t know what'’s gonna happen.
319
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:38,705
- Where are they, man?
- I don'’t know, okay?
320
00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:41,259
Colin lost his location,
so maybe he lost reception.
321
00:14:41,432 --> 00:14:44,297
- I can try calling again. I don'’t know.
- Are these people even real?
322
00:14:44,469 --> 00:14:46,471
Are you kidding me right
now? Yes, they'’re real.
323
00:14:46,644 --> 00:14:49,444
- Why would I be doing this if they'’re not real?
- I just had to check.
324
00:14:49,474 --> 00:14:52,315
- Had to check? They'’re real, okay? Don'’t worry.
- You'’re acting crazy.
325
00:14:52,339 --> 00:14:54,997
They'’re my friends, and they'’re
vampires, so there'’s that.
326
00:14:55,618 --> 00:14:57,338
- Did you just say they'’re vampires?
- Yeah.
327
00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:58,967
Actually, you met one of them.
328
00:14:59,139 --> 00:15:00,969
- What?
- Yeah, but you attacked her.
329
00:15:01,141 --> 00:15:02,291
- [Miguel] The fuck?
- You attacked her.
330
00:15:02,315 --> 00:15:03,799
I would remember
something like that.
331
00:15:03,972 --> 00:15:05,732
How could you? She
hypnotized you.
332
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,025
How you gonna remember, hmm?
333
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:15,373
- You know what? Let'’s just keep driving.
- Yeah, let'’s keep driving.
334
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:16,822
- [phone rings]
- [Guillermo] Oh, it'’s Colin.
335
00:15:16,846 --> 00:15:19,711
Hey, hey. Hi, Colin.
Where are you?
336
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:23,162
[Colin] Okey dokey.
337
00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:26,649
I just got off the
phone with Gizmo
338
00:15:26,822 --> 00:15:29,618
and gave him...
[grunting] ...our locash.
339
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:31,344
You know, Laszlo,
340
00:15:31,516 --> 00:15:34,623
I had those dancing vampire
freaks in the palm of my hands.
341
00:15:34,795 --> 00:15:38,696
I do not need you or your
stupid monster to protect me.
342
00:15:38,868 --> 00:15:40,284
Is that what you think?
343
00:15:41,492 --> 00:15:46,359
My darling, I did not train
my monster to protect you
344
00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:48,948
because I thought you
could not live without me.
345
00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:51,536
I trained that monster
346
00:15:52,227 --> 00:15:54,401
because I cannot
live without you.
347
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:58,198
Laszlo,
348
00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:01,098
I cannot live without you.
349
00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:04,964
But if something was to happen
to you and I was to lose you,
350
00:16:05,136 --> 00:16:07,690
it wouldn'’t be your
protection I would miss.
351
00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:09,347
It would be you.
352
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,833
Your looks, the layers
in your hairs. Your wit.
353
00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:17,010
And the way you use that
extremely large hog.
354
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:19,564
And that cannot be taught.
355
00:16:19,737 --> 00:16:21,370
- [giggling] No, it can'’t.
- [Nadja laughs]
356
00:16:21,394 --> 00:16:22,705
[Laszlo laughs]
357
00:16:22,878 --> 00:16:24,362
Aw. They'’re being sweet again.
358
00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:26,845
- Yes.
- [Nadja] The way that...
359
00:16:26,882 --> 00:16:28,608
Kinda makes you
think, doesn'’t it?
360
00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:31,059
Think about what?
361
00:16:31,818 --> 00:16:33,268
Well, isn'’t it obvious?
362
00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:37,997
I have been searching for
love for so very long,
363
00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:41,172
and it was right
here the whole time.
364
00:16:41,345 --> 00:16:42,967
Right under my nose.
365
00:16:44,624 --> 00:16:46,039
In front of my nose.
366
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:50,009
- Me?
- You.
367
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,564
[groans] Ugh.
368
00:16:53,736 --> 00:16:55,704
- So, I'’ve watched your search for love.
- Mm-hmm.
369
00:16:55,876 --> 00:16:57,878
This one, that one.
370
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,466
- Your dead wife.
- Yes.
371
00:16:59,673 --> 00:17:01,813
- Guillermo'’s boyfriend.
- Freddie.
372
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,783
Gail. I mean, basically, anyone
and everyone who wasn'’t me.
373
00:17:05,955 --> 00:17:08,372
And I'’ve seen after
you won their hearts.
374
00:17:08,544 --> 00:17:10,063
It all falls apart.
375
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,550
Because you'’re all about the
conquest, not the victory.
376
00:17:14,723 --> 00:17:17,864
You'’re a good friend, but
you will never have me.
377
00:17:18,761 --> 00:17:19,761
Ever.
378
00:17:21,385 --> 00:17:23,145
Sorry, could you run
that by me again?
379
00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:24,905
[chuckles] I
completely zoned out.
380
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:28,357
I got ever so lost in those big,
381
00:17:28,495 --> 00:17:30,911
- beautiful blue eyes of yours.
- [hinge creaking]
382
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,155
[The Guide] I said
you'’ll never have me.
383
00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:36,227
I have a little bit of self-respect.
A little... [chuckling] ...bit.
384
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:38,712
- [Nandor] I just feel so ready for love.
- Okay.
385
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,990
- Mmm... Wait a minute. What is that?
- Hey.
386
00:17:41,163 --> 00:17:42,751
- [Nadja] Laszlo.
- [Laszlo] Oh, shit.
387
00:17:42,923 --> 00:17:45,616
- [Nandor] What the fuck?
- [Laszlo] Graveyard vampires.
388
00:17:45,788 --> 00:17:48,250
- [graveyard vampires hissing] -
Well, you hang out in a graveyard,
389
00:17:48,274 --> 00:17:49,758
you can expect spooky
crap like this.
390
00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:51,932
[Nadja] Oh, bloody fuck.
391
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,772
- [Nandor] Should we...
- There'’s too many of them.
392
00:17:53,796 --> 00:17:55,764
- Run while you can.
- Yes, yes. Come on, Laszlo.
393
00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:56,976
- [Nandor] This way.
- Yes.
394
00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:58,260
Come on, you skull
fucks. [shouts]
395
00:17:58,284 --> 00:17:59,285
[snarling]
396
00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:03,047
[Nandor] Here.
Quick! Shit. Shit.
397
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:05,694
- [all hissing and growling] -
[Laszlo] Come on, do your worst.
398
00:18:05,739 --> 00:18:07,845
Fucking hell. Ah!
399
00:18:08,017 --> 00:18:09,916
- [hisses]
- [cameraman] No, no, no! Wait!
400
00:18:10,779 --> 00:18:12,574
No. Fuck off.
401
00:18:12,746 --> 00:18:15,646
[Laszlo] Ah! I see you
know your judo well.
402
00:18:15,818 --> 00:18:18,176
- Laszlo!
- It'’s all right, my darling. I'’ll be right there.
403
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,616
I'’m coming! Hang
your cape on that.
404
00:18:20,789 --> 00:18:22,342
[Laszlo] Get your hands off me.
405
00:18:22,515 --> 00:18:25,104
[grunts] Get out,
you motherfucker!
406
00:18:27,002 --> 00:18:28,482
- [The Guide] Ooh.
- [Nandor stammers]
407
00:18:30,419 --> 00:18:33,008
Nadja! There'’s
some over here too.
408
00:18:33,181 --> 00:18:35,907
[Nadja] All right. Who'’s next?
I can do this all night long.
409
00:18:36,943 --> 00:18:38,324
[Nadja grunts]
410
00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:40,671
- [Nandor groans] Fuck off.
- [The Guide] Oh.
411
00:18:40,843 --> 00:18:42,811
- [Laszlo] Help me up. [grunts]
- [Nandor] Laszlo.
412
00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:46,332
- Where'’s my wife?
- She'’s over there.
413
00:18:46,504 --> 00:18:49,335
- [Nadja] Okay. Very good aim. Wow!
- [Laszlo chuckles]
414
00:18:49,956 --> 00:18:51,820
Look at my gruesome girl go.
415
00:18:51,992 --> 00:18:54,202
It'’s like front row
at a Gallagher show.
416
00:18:54,374 --> 00:18:55,694
[Nandor] I think
maybe he'’s dead?
417
00:18:55,824 --> 00:18:58,413
I will say when he'’s dead.
418
00:18:58,585 --> 00:19:01,519
Very impressive. But I think there
might be more vampires on the way.
419
00:19:01,692 --> 00:19:03,497
- Perhaps we should get out of here.
- In a minute!
420
00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:04,521
Okay.
421
00:19:06,835 --> 00:19:08,630
[sighs] Now we can go.
422
00:19:09,493 --> 00:19:11,150
[Nandor] Great. Let'’s do that.
423
00:19:19,848 --> 00:19:21,229
[Nadja sighs]
424
00:19:21,401 --> 00:19:23,403
- Do you want a straw?
- Nope.
425
00:19:23,576 --> 00:19:26,372
You think that maybe we should
order coffee drinks... thank you...
426
00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:28,039
so we don'’t look like
a bunch of vampires
427
00:19:28,063 --> 00:19:30,065
sat around waiting for
our familiar to save us?
428
00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:33,102
We can all be here without
everyone ordering coffee.
429
00:19:33,275 --> 00:19:35,312
And we can stay at the
table as long as we want.
430
00:19:35,484 --> 00:19:37,590
And when it comes
to the bathrooms,
431
00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:39,730
- legally, it'’s Thunderdome.
- [Guillermo] Hey.
432
00:19:39,902 --> 00:19:41,225
- [The Guide] Guillermo!
- [Nandor] Guillermo.
433
00:19:41,249 --> 00:19:43,078
- [Nadja] Finally.
- [Colin] Hey, Gomez.
434
00:19:43,251 --> 00:19:45,160
- You took your sweet time.
- Nadja, you all right? You have a little...
435
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,289
Yeah, covered, uh, in
brain and blood and guts.
436
00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:49,395
Yes. Thank you for noticing.
437
00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:52,028
So, uh, your vampire friends, they
hang out at coffee shops? [chuckles]
438
00:19:52,052 --> 00:19:54,710
Hey, look, no offense. I
love the costumes, man.
439
00:19:54,883 --> 00:19:57,310
You turn your mom'’s rug into a
dress? That'’s pretty cool. [chuckles]
440
00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:59,214
But, uh, you guys really
think you'’re vampires?
441
00:20:00,647 --> 00:20:02,763
[Guillermo] No, Nandor. Don'’t hurt
him. That'’s my cousin, Miguel.
442
00:20:02,787 --> 00:20:04,789
- [laughs]
- No kidding.
443
00:20:04,962 --> 00:20:07,965
So you are the famous Miguel.
We have heard lots about you.
444
00:20:08,137 --> 00:20:09,725
[breathing shakily]
What the fuck?
445
00:20:09,898 --> 00:20:12,245
Guillermo tells us you'’re
very tough and very cool
446
00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:14,903
and once locked him in a
cupboard for six hours.
447
00:20:15,075 --> 00:20:17,035
- Put it there.
- Don'’t need to fist bump on that.
448
00:20:17,112 --> 00:20:19,390
Sorry about that. Let'’s
straighten that for you.
449
00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:21,289
- You guys kill people?
- No shit, Kojak.
450
00:20:21,461 --> 00:20:23,429
Chillax, Miguel.
451
00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:25,614
'’Cause a member of Guillermo'’s
family is a member of our family.
452
00:20:25,638 --> 00:20:27,018
- Right, guys?
- [Laszlo] Right.
453
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,193
- "Vamilia."
- Nadnor! I have a Nadnor.
454
00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:31,747
Is that for you, Nandor?
455
00:20:31,885 --> 00:20:34,209
No, she is calling someone called Nadnor.
Also, I have not ordered anything, so...
456
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:38,720
- I have one roundhouse kick for a Nandor.
- Yes. I am Nan...
457
00:20:38,892 --> 00:20:40,308
[grunts, hisses]
458
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,069
How quaint. A barista vampire.
459
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,037
We'’re not barista vampires.
We'’re artist and writer vampires
460
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,006
who happen to currently
be working as baristas.
461
00:20:49,178 --> 00:20:51,388
- And graphic designer vampires.
- [hisses]
462
00:20:51,526 --> 00:20:53,252
- Hi. I'’m Cass.
- Hi, Cass.
463
00:20:53,424 --> 00:20:56,496
- Personal essayist vampire Louis here.
- [hisses]
464
00:20:56,669 --> 00:20:58,809
- Got a shot for Nandor.
- Oh, that'’s me. Yes.
465
00:20:59,465 --> 00:21:00,949
- [Laszlo laughs]
- Fucking guy.
466
00:21:01,121 --> 00:21:03,041
My mistake. That was
supposed to be a double shot.
467
00:21:03,089 --> 00:21:04,089
[Miguel growls]
468
00:21:04,159 --> 00:21:06,265
Whoa. Oh, shit.
469
00:21:06,437 --> 00:21:08,208
Oh, I forgot to mention. You have Van
Helsing blood running through you.
470
00:21:08,232 --> 00:21:10,476
- What?
- It'’s a long story. I'’ll tell you later, okay?
471
00:21:10,648 --> 00:21:11,648
[Guillermo grunts]
472
00:21:11,753 --> 00:21:14,687
[all grunts, hissing]
473
00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:15,895
[Laszlo] Bat.
474
00:21:17,793 --> 00:21:20,589
Sorry, I didn'’t mean to do that.
It'’s because I said the word "bat."
475
00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:25,082
- And I'’ve done it again. I meant to say...
- [Guillermo] Miguel.
476
00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:27,940
Should we get involved?
477
00:21:28,977 --> 00:21:31,842
You know, I forgot how
scrappy Gizmo can be
478
00:21:32,014 --> 00:21:33,613
when he gets a bit of
a bee in his bonnet.
479
00:21:33,637 --> 00:21:35,017
[Guillermo] Ooh.
480
00:21:35,190 --> 00:21:36,950
- [Miguel] Steam.
- [screaming]
481
00:21:37,123 --> 00:21:38,124
"Vampuccino."
482
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,505
I will fucking kill you.
483
00:21:43,509 --> 00:21:45,959
Ah! Ooh. Very good.
484
00:21:46,132 --> 00:21:47,132
[Miguel grunts]
485
00:21:47,202 --> 00:21:48,376
[barista vampire groans]
486
00:21:48,548 --> 00:21:50,895
[Colin] Almost there.
Keep reaching, Gizmo.
487
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,966
- [Guillermo grunts]
- [Louis growls, grunts]
488
00:21:53,898 --> 00:21:55,728
- [Guillermo grunts]
- [Laszlo] Nice shot.
489
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,937
- Ooh. Dead. Very good.
- [The Guide] Guillermo.
490
00:21:58,144 --> 00:21:59,352
- We should go.
- [Nadja] Yes.
491
00:21:59,525 --> 00:22:01,399
- [engines roaring]
- [Laszlo] What the fuck is that?
492
00:22:01,423 --> 00:22:03,298
Just some homeys of mine. I called
them in case we were outnumbered.
493
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:07,222
[Miguel] Here they come. Hell
yeah! Donnie brought the Spyder.
494
00:22:07,395 --> 00:22:09,595
- [Laszlo] Fancy a ride, my darling?
- [The Guide] Hello.
495
00:22:09,707 --> 00:22:10,846
[Guillermo] We gotta go.
496
00:22:11,019 --> 00:22:12,400
[Colin] This one?
Hold on, hold on.
497
00:22:12,572 --> 00:22:14,643
- [Miguel] Get in, man.
- [Nadja] Colin Robinson!
498
00:22:14,816 --> 00:22:16,127
Let'’s go. We have to go.
499
00:22:17,681 --> 00:22:19,441
[Nandor] I don'’t want
to get my cape caught.
500
00:22:27,069 --> 00:22:28,347
[Nandor] Ah.
501
00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:29,979
- [Nadja] Oh, home.
- [Laszlo] Oh, yes.
502
00:22:30,003 --> 00:22:31,187
- [Nadja] We'’re home.
- [Colin] Ooh, doggy.
503
00:22:31,211 --> 00:22:33,213
- [Nadja sighs] Baron?
- Well, well, well.
504
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:34,594
[The Guide] You'’re okay!
505
00:22:34,767 --> 00:22:35,906
Look who came home!
506
00:22:36,078 --> 00:22:38,357
Baron, how did you
get back so fast?
507
00:22:38,529 --> 00:22:43,120
Did you know that Staten Island
has an above-ground train?
508
00:22:43,292 --> 00:22:45,252
- It'’s actually quite pleasant.
- [Nandor] Hey...
509
00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:50,265
And it gave me a chance to open up
that Louise Penny I have on audiobook.
510
00:22:50,438 --> 00:22:52,598
- Love her.
- [Baron] She'’s okay. But a quick question.
511
00:22:53,199 --> 00:22:55,132
What the hell were you thinking?
512
00:22:55,304 --> 00:22:57,548
Why did you kill
Jerry the Vampire?
513
00:22:57,686 --> 00:23:01,932
B-Because, Baron, Jerry was a huge
threat to your almighty power.
514
00:23:02,104 --> 00:23:03,243
Yes.
515
00:23:03,899 --> 00:23:06,212
Which is why I wanted
to kill him myself
516
00:23:07,247 --> 00:23:08,904
in front of everyone
517
00:23:09,077 --> 00:23:11,424
to reassert my power.
518
00:23:11,597 --> 00:23:13,599
Do you honestly think
that I did not know
519
00:23:13,771 --> 00:23:15,739
this insipid
gathering was a trap?
520
00:23:15,911 --> 00:23:17,292
- [gasps]
- You knew?
521
00:23:17,465 --> 00:23:19,121
[Baron] Of course I knew.
522
00:23:19,294 --> 00:23:22,297
I didn'’t know Jerry
was the enemy, Baron.
523
00:23:22,470 --> 00:23:25,887
But that is no excuse. I
have dishonored myself.
524
00:23:26,474 --> 00:23:29,718
But even worse, I
have dishonored you.
525
00:23:29,856 --> 00:23:32,307
I will now take my own life.
526
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,137
- No. No!
- [The Guide whimpers] No, let me...
527
00:23:35,310 --> 00:23:37,588
- [Nandor] I will not. [grunts]
- [Colin] Let her.
528
00:23:37,761 --> 00:23:40,557
- Baron, take my life instead.
- [Colin] Do it.
529
00:23:40,764 --> 00:23:43,491
- [Nadja] Huh.
- Hold on here. Are you two a thing?
530
00:23:43,663 --> 00:23:45,734
- No. Not at all.
- It'’s early days.
531
00:23:45,941 --> 00:23:49,061
- Get up. We'’re going to run out of vampires at this rate.
- [monster growling]
532
00:23:49,117 --> 00:23:50,946
- [Laszlo] What the blazes?
- [all scream]
533
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,121
- [monster grunts, growls]
- [Nadja gasps]
534
00:23:53,293 --> 00:23:54,985
- [Nandor mumbles]
- Gift.
535
00:23:55,157 --> 00:23:57,643
[Nadja] Oh. Jerry'’s
crushed head. Thank you.
536
00:23:57,815 --> 00:23:59,645
- Very nice.
- [giggles]
537
00:23:59,817 --> 00:24:01,897
- You can just lay that down there.
- [monster grunts]
538
00:24:01,992 --> 00:24:04,615
I will find somewhere
lovely for it later.
539
00:24:04,753 --> 00:24:06,633
- Now, we all have much organizing...
- Good job.
540
00:24:06,790 --> 00:24:08,412
To do for tomorrow evening.
541
00:24:08,550 --> 00:24:10,759
To set this right.
542
00:24:10,932 --> 00:24:13,348
[Baron] Here we are again.
543
00:24:13,521 --> 00:24:16,524
Jerry tried to tear us apart.
544
00:24:16,696 --> 00:24:19,527
But we, unlike Jerry,
545
00:24:19,699 --> 00:24:22,288
will work as one.
546
00:24:22,426 --> 00:24:24,680
- [Laszlo, Nandor, Nandor] Yes.
- [Baron] For it will take all of us,
547
00:24:24,704 --> 00:24:27,327
all vampires,
548
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:30,365
to bring the humans
of this new world
549
00:24:30,538 --> 00:24:33,506
under our dominion.
550
00:24:33,679 --> 00:24:36,336
- [vampires] Yes!
- Any questions?
551
00:24:36,509 --> 00:24:37,579
[vampires murmuring]
552
00:24:37,786 --> 00:24:39,201
- Ah.
- [monster growling]
553
00:24:39,374 --> 00:24:41,618
[grunts]
554
00:24:41,756 --> 00:24:45,414
[vampires gasping, clamoring]
555
00:24:45,587 --> 00:24:48,383
Okay. Anybody else? Let'’s
see. There was someone...
556
00:24:48,556 --> 00:24:49,626
Ah. You.
557
00:24:49,798 --> 00:24:50,972
[monster growls]
558
00:24:51,110 --> 00:24:52,491
[Baron] Did you have a question?
559
00:24:54,216 --> 00:24:55,908
- Uh, nope.
- [Baron] Are you sure?
560
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,497
Because I thought I
saw your hand go up.
561
00:24:58,669 --> 00:25:00,706
[growls]
562
00:25:00,878 --> 00:25:03,502
I thought I had a... had a question,
but then y-you answered it.
563
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,021
Just as I thought.
564
00:25:06,194 --> 00:25:07,229
[growls]
565
00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:09,784
Vampires dismissed.
566
00:25:09,991 --> 00:25:11,682
- [vampires murmuring]
- [monster snarks]
567
00:25:11,855 --> 00:25:13,270
[Baron] Two nights out in a row.
568
00:25:13,442 --> 00:25:15,583
The Sire'’s never gonna let
me hear the end of this.
569
00:25:15,755 --> 00:25:18,137
[♪ "Nowhere to Run" plays]
570
00:25:18,344 --> 00:25:21,658
♪ Nowhere to run to, baby ♪
571
00:25:21,796 --> 00:25:23,211
♪ Nowhere to hide ♪
572
00:25:24,730 --> 00:25:28,216
♪ I got nowhere
To run to, baby ♪
573
00:25:28,906 --> 00:25:30,943
♪ Nowhere to hide, no ♪
574
00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:34,602
♪ That'’s not love That
I'’m running from ♪
575
00:25:35,292 --> 00:25:37,950
♪ It'’s the heartache
I know will come ♪
576
00:25:38,606 --> 00:25:41,712
- ♪ '’Cause I know You'’re no good
for me ♪ - ♪ You'’re no good ♪
577
00:25:41,919 --> 00:25:44,404
♪ But you'’ve become
A part of me ♪
578
00:25:44,612 --> 00:25:47,891
♪ Everywhere that I
go Your face I see ♪
579
00:25:48,098 --> 00:25:52,481
♪ Every step that I take
You take with me, yeah ♪
580
00:25:52,689 --> 00:25:55,692
♪ Nowhere to run to, baby ♪
581
00:25:55,899 --> 00:25:58,626
♪ Nowhere to hide, no ♪
582
00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:02,664
♪ I got nowhere
To run to, baby ♪
583
00:26:02,871 --> 00:26:04,217
♪ Nowhere to hide ♪
584
00:26:04,424 --> 00:26:05,564
♪ Nowhere to run ♪
585
00:26:05,771 --> 00:26:07,773
♪ No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
586
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:08,980
♪ Ow! ♪
48364
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