All language subtitles for Fart.A.Documentary.2016.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

♪♪

Uh, Dad say,
"No more farts! "

♪♪

♪ When she farts,
it's always funny ♪

♪ Even if it smells

♪ When I fart,
it's only sometimes funny ♪

♪ Depending on
a lot of factors ♪

♪ But when the dog farts,
it can be hilarious ♪

♪ To downright
goddamn dangerous ♪

♪ That air is toxic

♪ Better hold your breath

♪ Dog farts

♪ How unfortunate, oh

♪ Dog farts

♪ Someone open a window

♪ Dog farts

♪ I think
he woke himself up ♪

♪ With that one

I thought, at last!

Somebody's making a film
about farting.

That's been
a long time coming.

I have to say at first when you
said that you were gonna do

a documentary on farting,
and I thought,

- Oh, my. Yeah.
- Who's gonna want to watch that?

The first thing I said was,
"How can I be a part of this?"

♪ Dog farts

♪ How can a creature
so little ♪

- ♪ Dog farts
- ♪ Make a smell so huge?

Because it's-- it's
a very interesting subject

and-- and underexplored,

and it's worthy
of closer attention.

-
-

I'm now going to warm up--
warm up my sphincter myself

with a bit
of classical music.

Man:
My name is--

Do you want
my real name, or both names?

Real name
is Paul Oldfield.

But my alter ego,
because like any superhero

I need an alter ego
when I perform

my superhuman abilities.

Man: Oh!

So I metamorphasize
into Mr. Methane.

Male interviewer:
How-- how do you--

how do you prepare yourself
before you perform?

Um, I've been upstairs
in the dressing room

doing lots of stretches
and warm-ups.

- Okay.
- So, I've been tensing

using abdominals
so we're now fully relaxed.

- Okay, I see.
- So, uh...

They say in Spain and Brazil,
Señor Matano.

Okay, so, uh--
uh, what kind of activity are we gonna see first?

First of all,

I've got a little bit
of fine talcum powder

and I'm going to sprinkle
a little bit on my bottom

so people can actually see
that I am breaking wind.

- Okay, so it's not a fake.
- That's exactly--

Because obviously people
sat at home...

Uh...

- These...
- Yeah.

These-- these--
these people over here,

they've got what we call
"ringside seats."

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

A little bit of talcum
on the bottom.

There we go.

- Like that.
- Okay.

Is it--
I haven't got a rearview mirror.

- Is the, um...
- It looks very nice.

Is it well-covered?

- Okay.
- Yes, it's fantastic.

- Here we go.
- Thank you.

In Australia,
I-- down under,

I hold the record
for the most amount of complaints

to a television show.

From five...
Five,

All:
Four, three, two, one.

All right!
Very good.

♪♪

♪ Can you guess
where this comes from? ♪

♪ Mr. Methane.com

Obviously,
there is a Mr. Methane website out there.

'Cause, if you're not
on the web now, well, that's it.

You're not in business.

So, you know,
I've got a website, Mr. Methane.com

♪ Mr. Methane.com

Male announcer:
The world's windiest website.

Man:
Lovely. Lovely.

My background
field is actually American literature.

But I developed
an interest in American humor.

I run the creative writing
program here.

And I teach a module
on how to write humor.

Farting,
I happen to know,

features throughout
the history of humor.

I mean, I did a project
a few years back where

I went in search
of the oldest joke in the world.

Um, we-- well,
you can't actually find the oldest joke in the world

but the oldest joke
that I could find--

the oldest recorded joke,
in other words,

the oldest one-liner,
if you like,

is actually a fart joke.

Man:
Jim Dawson is my name, and I write books.

I write books on, uh--

mainly non-fiction books.

Well, farting
was, it was--

it was a fairly
unexplored topic

back in 1997 and '98

when I wrote,
"Who Cut The Cheese?"

- Cut it!
- Who cut the cheese?

And when I pitched
it to my agent,

he-- he was extremely
happy to state,

he says, "I think
we can sell this book."

It seems to be,
as far his humorous potential,

it seems to be fair
the ubiquitous, I think,

across cultures
and throughout history.

And so,
the oldest recorded joke

is a fart joke

and fart jokes
are featured in jest books

throughout the ages.

It's about 4,000 years old.

And I'll tell you that joke
if you want to hear it.

Female interviewer:
Yeah, I do. I want to hear it.

It's not...

- Don't expect too much of it.
- No, it's 4,000 years old.

It's all the-- exactly,
and it's the-- like all humor,

it's context dependent,
I suppose.

But it goes,

"Something that's never been
known since time immemorial

is a young lady
who didn't break wind in her husband's embrace."

Now, you're not
laughing, are you? - No.

That's usually
the response I get to that.

Well first of all,
there's the sound of it.

Or the sounds
of the funny little things...

-
- ...that come out of it.

Oh!

Woman:
Yeah, because--

Or it's 'cause that they
produce an embarrassing noise.

-
- Man: Many people...

Woman:
Try to hide.

Ah,
this is awesome!

All right. Here--
here we go. Here we go.

Here.

Woman:
Wow.

When would you like to start
discussing the said subject?

♪ The camptown ladies
sing that song ♪

No, it is not.
You fart anywhere.

You fart anywhere.

In front of everybody.

♪ The camptown racetrack's
five miles long ♪

I should be able to fart
anytime I want.

For God's sake.

♪ Gonna run all night

♪ Gonna run all day

Well, I suppose
you don't expect women to fart, do you?

Of course. We have
the same pipe works as you do.

♪ I'll bet my money
on the bobtail hag ♪

So what about, um,
in the states,

is there a different attitude
to-- to farting?

Woman:
Some of it's gonna come back up.

Woman #2:
...And once it gets to the stomach,

Woman:
It-- from the production

of changing
your food to poop.

Man:
Have you ever heard of anybody

lighting a belch?

Well, that's because
it doesn't-

Seriously,
it's two different gases.

Probably wasn't funny
for the first caveman

that farted on the fire.

I'm just saying.

Steve Baxter:
Anyway, going back to the basis of farting,

it's-- it's a--
a metabolic process.

Quite natural.

So why do people
find it obnoxious?

- Well, the thing is--
- It's rude!

it's a bit
like smoking, isn't it?

When you smoke,
you affect other people.

And when you fart,
you can affect other people.

No, I think it's a problem
of education.

Just people,
society has established

that you don't do this thing
in front of people,

and that's it.

But there are some people
that do it.

Because men like noises.

Or a reaction.

And I have to wa--
I have to wait

to expect--
expect is the word,

I have to expect that my fart
will be a silent one.

So nobody hears it.

That's when your cheeks
start to bulge.

I get really upset
about this. Honestly.

So you want equal rights
for farting. - Exactly-- of course.

♪ This is for my ladies
out there ♪

♪ Who have a problem
with their gas ♪

♪♪

-
- Man: In contrary

to what they would have
you believe...

girls do fart.

Fart is the bodily function

of passing
intestinal gas

also known as flatus
through the anus.

Female interviewer:
Have you heard of Mr. Methane?

- No.
- Gentleman that does the...

I guess you could give
a little...

Male interviewer:
He's a professional farter.

Female interviewer:
Do you know of any professional farters?

Uh, no,
as a matter of fact...

No, but do you know
who might pay him?

He could become one.

Oh, really?
Well, they've been around,

I think,
professional farters, for a--

for a number of years.

Jim Dawson:
Because, you know in France for example,

in the late 19th century

one of the top, uh...

one of the top stars
in Paris

was a guy named
Le Pétomane whose act at the Moulin Rouge

was farting.

Paul Oldfield:
Le Pétomane, um...

Well, Le Pétomane,
whose real name

was Joseph Pujol,
performed at the Pink Windmill

at the Moulin Rouge
in Paris.

And he was--
where the famous can-can dancers perform,

and he was
the highest paid act.

He grossed more than
the pop stars of the day,

which were
the opera singers,

and he performed
a fart show.

Even back in the days,
you know, in Roman days,

there was Le Pétomane
character then.

Beyond that
it's very difficult to get the actual facts.

And he could suck wind
into his anus

and then he could
expel it at will.

And he had such control
over his sphincter

that he could--
that he could imitate

musical instruments,
animals, birds,

and he would often add,
"My mother-in-law."

Oldfield:
See, you get this thing

you don't know
how much he's become...

Hollywood-ized,
if you like...

How much of it it's been
pumped up for the movie.

And--
it's-- it's--

I suppose it's difficult
to know how...

It's difficult to get
to the bottom of it, really.

I would say that's the--
that's the problem.

And for a couple of years,

they would
actually have

medical people
in attendance

because women,
especially with their corsets,

you know, with--
They would go into these hysterics over this guy.

He was so funny
that they would--

they couldn't
catch their breath

and they would be
passing out and--

and-- and so these people
would rush up

and, I guess,
loosen their corsets.

But-- but he
was extremely funny

and-- and-- and,
you know, even today,

there are people who,
you know, are still doing that like

Mr. Methane
over in England.

Oldfield:
I know that I can do it.

So therefore, I know
that Le Pétomane existed,

and I don't think
the tale came out of--

out of nowhere.

It, you know,
there was enough people who actually, um,

recounted this tale
and it's become--

it has become folklore.

Maybe some of his
abilities were a bit,

if you like,
trumped up.

But still, I mean,
even though the French

would laugh
at farting,

you know,
it wasn't something

that was
socially acceptable.

In fact,
I was unable to find any sort of culture

where it was truly accepted
as just, you know,

"Oh, yeah,
yeah, fart,"

you know, "Yeah, sure.
That's okay."

-
-

And Japan even--
you know, even had a guy that did that

and there was a--
a famous scroll

which I talk about
in "Who Cut The Cheese"

and it told a story--
this goes back about maybe,

uh, about 300
or 400 years or so,

and, you know,
even in Japanese society,

you know,
farting was funny.

In some places, like,
there were some African...

uh-- uh, countries
where if you farted

in front
of the wrong person, you could be killed.

Man:
John Wycoff, and the degree is D.O.

Flatulence
in the purest sense

is gas that's made
in the intestines,

usually from
the digestion of food

by various bacteria
and organisms.

I don't know why people
get so embarrassed about farting.

After all,
it's a natural process,

isn't it?

Some people say
that you get some bloating

and distension
in the abdomen

and, uh,
that can be relieved by flatulence.

Sometimes some people--
they try to hold in the flatulence

and that could be, uh,
can cause some discomfort.

You know,
if it's a bodily function, there's cause and effect.

So something causes it.

Something causes
the gas to build up.

Something causes gas
to release, okay?

It's
a chemical reaction.

Nothing serious
is gonna happen by not passing flatus.

Female interviewer:
So it's not bad for you then to hold...?

No, it's more...
It's gonna cause discomfort, but noth-- nothing...

You're not gonna explode
or have any problems like that.

There are a number
of theories of humor,

you know,
and you can theorize

farting relative
to all of them really.

Um...

It's a taboo,
I suppose.

Uh, so Freud would say,
it has comic potential

because it's
one of those things that we repress.

It was difficult to...

Would you just excuse me
a minute?

Oh, excuse me.
I just-- ah.

Uh, it was difficult
to actually--

Ooh, that's a bit..

Actually,
I shouldn't have done that.

- Two, one.
-

Well, farting is--
yeah, we all do it.

Yeah, farting
is something that--

it's a very, very funny,
uh, for young children.

Once you reach
a certain age,

and you're supposed
to grow up

and grow out
of childish humor.

Fart four,
fart five, fart six...

Fart five,
fart 11,

fart 12...

I think that, uh,

the younger generations

tend to be more open
with a lot of things.

than when
I was coming up.

I mean, that's just a totally
different environment.

For them
it's somewhat...

It's-- it's--
everything is about humor.

So, yeah,
it's more accepted

because of the humorous
aspect of it.

You were talking about
the 16-year old

that stays
in the household.

It's about "funny."

Whereas before it was
about where you were at,

and if it was proper
based upon who was around you.

And now,
that's irrelevant.

Dalai Lama:
We are mentally,

emotionally,
intellectually,

we are same.

Man:
A point he rather inadvertently proved

through an unexpected
story about gas.

When in airplane,

sometimes this
gas problem comes.

Then, you see,
difficult to let out.

So, occasionally,
you see, look around

then-- then you
let it out like that.

Female interviewer:
Now, are you the kind of person that laughs

at the general
fart joke?

I laugh at fart jokes
and I laugh at farting.

Right.

I laugh in situations
where people fart.

I mean,
because as I say,

it always has
the potential to be funny.

There are
a variety of reasons

why that's
the case, I think.

Hi, I'm Mr. Safety,
and today I'm gonna teach you

how to hide
your farts in public.

We've got a tennis player
called John Newcombe.

Uh, and it's, um,
it's his birthday today,

so why don't we say,

uh, you celebrate
his great set

of fart
happy birthday

I said, and then
I've got some candles,

we'll put them
on the cake,

and we'll blow
them out.

And, uh,
that was very nice and--

You are still going,
I can hear.

I'm ready, yes.

We're going
to celebrate--

this is for
the people at home,

who may-- and people
in the audience,

who may have a birthday.

We're going to blow
the birthday cake--

- the candles out...
- Okay.

...one at a time.

Ah, just nice and low--
nice and...

Just-- just down there
a little...

- A little down there?
- There we go.

Okay, one...

two...

three...

- Is this the last one?
- Yes.

- Make a wish.
- Okay.

And apparently afterwards,

the switchboard
at Channel 9

it was in meltdown.

I mean, it's
a surprising sound anyway.

But it's surprising
when it comes out of... -

...somewhere you not
expecting it to come out of.

Everybody does it,
yet most people are ashamed to fart.

Most people don't even
like to talk about it.

They think
it's pretty gross.

Here at JokeStrap,
we think farting's pretty hilarious.

Hilarious.

You know what?
It's not just us.

A bunch of my friends
think farts are funny.

Ian Zagaglia:
That's probably 'cause all your friends

are in junior high school.
Both of them.

You know, sometimes
you just gotta let it rip.

And then I get
scared to death

that she's gonna walk
in my office.

I think so.
I mean, I think it's like with any type of, uh,

socially, uh, maybe less
than acceptable symptom.

It's not something that people
readily discuss.

My kids. Yeah.

My husband.

- My husband.
- My Mom.

And my Dad.

Tolerated at home,
but not in public or in...

And not the dinner table.
That was a big thing.

Ian Mills:
I'd have to say eventually, you know,

you learn your boundaries
and other peoples' boundaries.

And then you're,
all right, I'm not...

As soon as
you're done eating,

- it's fair game.
- Female interviewer: Right.

Mills:
'Cause usually, food creates that.

Being a co-worker,
we were at that comfortable level where we would,

uh, fart around each other.

And they would often
make me go back

and hide
in the ATM room to fart

because they were smelly.

They didn't want me
to do it out in--

where the customers
would come in, but...

So, I don't know
what I had did to her,

but ticked her off
somehow.

So we were down
opening a safe

where you had to have
two people.

So she did her part
and then I went down to do my part

and her butt
was right by my head

and she farts
and you can, like,

feel it
on your face.

It was the most disgusting thing
I've ever experienced

in my life.

I never had somebody
actually fart on my head until that point.

Wow.

And I'm hoping
that's the last time, but...

That's not normal
in workplaces,

and it shouldn't be.

♪ You're fast asleep
when I feel one creep ♪

♪ I try to keep it
inside the bed ♪

♪ But like a good wine

♪ That ages with time

♪ Looks rotten
and it's starting to spread ♪

♪ You wake up in fear

♪ That a fire is near

♪ From the smell
of my own Dutch oven... ♪

Female interviewer:
Have you in present or past relationships

farted in front
of your other half?

- Yup.
- Yes.

Oh, my gosh, yes.

But farting
is one of those things

that is a sign
of a good relationship, I think, isn't it?

Our first five years we dated,
he didn't fart at all.

If you can fart
in front of one another...

We got married,
he farted

for a whole frickin' week.

Uh, there's a lovely "homey"
quality to the relationship,

and, uh, you know, it's a
positive thing, isn't it?

Female interviewer:
After five years you changed your mind

and felt good to go.

- No.
- No, okay.

Started
eating her food.

Seriously, no women
aren't supposed to fart.

- Cameraman: Why not?
- Well, I don't know.

It's the way
he was brought up.

Very...

I don't know
who told you that.

Oh, uh...

It maybe bothers
you if a woman...

Because a woman
is more delicate?

- And, uh...
- Ladylike.

Ladylike?
But then we have to put a cork in there.

I have a crazy story
that I don't even know why I'm admitting this.

But I was dating a man

and we were
at a hotel

and I felt
a fart coming on

and I grabbed
the blanket

and I pulled it up
and I stuffed it in

and it was the worst thing
I ever could have done.

I don't know whether
the acceptability of family farting

varies much
from family to family.

I guess it must.
I mean, I'm sure

the Queen
and Prince Philip

don't sit there
watching TV at night,

ripping them off,
do they?

- No.
- I'm sure they do.

So they, "Call the butler
to bring the air freshener in,

will you?"

Maybe they do.
I don't know.

The poor guy got to bed
and he said,

"What're you trying
to do, kill me?"

I couldn't be with somebody
that didn't think

that was the funniest thing
in the whole wide world.

I grew up with my parents
having farting contests.

They would start
at the top of the stairs

and see who could go
down and who could keep farting down the--

- Oh, my gosh.
- That's how I grew up.

People that don't think
it's funny...

Did you have
to eat a special meal before you did that?

Well, the cousins--

We all have special foods
that we would eat

and have farting contests.

Growing up,
it was not something that was easily talked about.

It was kind
of said to be something

that you didn't want
to do in public.

Yeah, the people--
like my best friend in the world

that does not think
that it's funny.

So it's twice
as funny to me.

So I try to, like, lock all
the windows and I'll be like,

"Oh, did you--
Oh, guess what?"

I had the exact
opposite upbringing.

You know, my Dad
was all about farting

and, you know,
just...

He, uh-- we would
drive around in the car-- he's a classic rock fan,

and he would always try
to fart to the tunes.

And when--

uh, "Smoke On The Water"
by Deep Purple was on,

and that's like
his shining moment

when he perfectly
just released a fart to "Smoke On The Water."

It was amazing.

Your story is completely
different from mine growing up.

Because I didn't
fart as a child.

- And-- and my brother--
- What did you do?

I had four brothers
and a sister

and I would--
if they would say, Laura, did you fart today?

I would've said, "No."

Because I was so completely
embarrassed by it.

Really?

I think
it's absolutely hilarious

because usually women
are so prim and proper.

And, you know,
it's not prim and proper

for a lady to cut one.

But, yeah,
I think it's the most hilarious thing

when you see them do it.

It's just that,
you know,

you got to be open
to allow it.

And when women do it,
it's-- it's hilarious.

Because, you know,
it's-- oops.

Yeah, you don't
always expect it.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
That's always the cover-up,

"Oops.
Oh, I'm so sorry."

And, you know,
for guys it's like, "Hey, it happened."

In the most basic
sense it's funny,

but it's not funny
when you're taught by society

that it is something
you shouldn't do.

Especially women.
"You shouldn't do that."

Men can do that in the gym
or in the locker room

or whatever,
but women don't do that--

polite ladies don't do that
at the dinner table....

- Other than your family.
- I know.

My Dad's the same way.
"Oh, it's not gonna smell."

And then releases
the most disgusting fart you've ever heard

and then just keeps
the window up.

It's like, "Come on,
have some respect."

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.
The sulfur from eggs.

We used to do
the whole--

we'd eat my aunt's
broccoli salad, deviled eggs,

and my aunt's
baked beans.

And then we would all go
lock ourselves in...

our "bunk house"
and go to town.

Yeah, my boys,
you know, have fart contests all the time.

Yeah, so there's
a lot of-- lot of gas.

- Lots and lots of gas.
- Yeah.

Well, my 16-year old,
him and his buddy,

we were staying
at, um...

We got a hotel room
and I told them--

because they are horrible,
they smell so raunchy.

I don't even know
what they eat.

My sister is all about
gender equality now.

So, everybody's
allowed to fart, I guess.

They still do that,
but it has to be in jest.

I mean, you can't really
be disgusted by anything

that they do because...
then you're not

in relationship
the way that you should be.

On a first date,
I'm not gonna do it.

Female interviewer:
What if she did?

I would probably
laugh about it.

It's definitely
not a game changer.

- It's not a mood kill?
- No. It could be depending on

what mood you're in.

We were over at the lake
and it was Christmas time,

and my Dad
was being so sweet.

He said,
"Why don't you give me the keys to the car

and I'll go
scrape off your windows,

and I'll warm it up
for you?"

I was like,
"That's so nice."

And so I did.

I gave him the keys
to the car and stuff

and when I went
out there,

he had not only scraped it,
but had turned the heat on high

and had repeatedly farted
in there for a good 20 minutes.

And I smelled that
all the way home.

Well, one time he did
this big adult fart, like...

Female interviewer #2:
Where were you?

Well, we were
just in the car

driving for some...

Driving is a big issue
in our family,

'cause we took
a lot of road trips

and they want you
to hear it and they want you to smell it.

So there's no,
"I'm gonna roll the window down

even if you
can't hear it,"

'cause I'm gonna wait
for you to smell it.

And my sister
was always the one

who would be sleeping
in the backseat

and then all of a sudden
it's like, "Come on!"

You have
to roll the window down. You're waking her up.

Sometimes when
we're in the car... -

Announcer:
America is facing an ongoing energy crisis.

As oil gets scarcer,
gasoline gets more expensive.

And the planet suffers.

Electric cars...

Most of their electricity
comes from coal fired plants

or nuclear reactors.

So, what's the answer?

How about a car
that's good looking, affordable,

and runs on clean,

environmentally
responsible natural gas?

Your natural gas?

There's probably 10 kids

in the back of my friend,
Sara's mother's truck,

and somebody did it.

And we didn't know
who did it.

And it was probably
a 10 minute drive

from the church
to the house.

So the whole way home
it was just the kids

back and forth
and back and forth and back and forth.

And, "It was you.
I know it was you."

And there was a lot
of boys in the car

And everybody
was just arguing

to the point
of getting really angry.

And finally,
her mother said,

"Would you just shut up?
It was me."

And we all
just stopped, like,

"Wait a minute.
That's a Mom."

That wasn't
supposed to happen.

Announcer: Introducing
the Flatula Backfire.

It runs like the wind.

Because it's running--

...on wind.

Here's how it works.

Using state-of-the-art
sanitary technology,

Flatula captures
all your emissions

and efficiently
channels them

directly to a powerful
turbo-charged engine.

It's clean energy--
green energy.

And best of all...

it's renewable.

If something slipped out
at dinner or in the car or something,

I would laugh about it,
and I would probably...

It would make me feel
like they were comfortable enough to do it

and-- you know,
I'm-- I'm not...

gonna never call
somebody again because they farted.

So you wouldn't be
judgmental about it.

Oh, I would judge
the hell out of 'em,

but it's not gonna make me
not wanna see them again.

Announcer:
The Backfire's range is practically unlimited.

But if you should happen
to run low, don't worry.

You're never too far
from a Flatula authorized service center.

where trained,
qualified providers stand ready

to fill your tank
with the gas

that's right
for your driving needs.

Flatula Backfire...

It's not just
a smart car,

it's the fart car.

No, I think
the worst place is a funeral.

No, I think it's fine.
You could do it

with your partner
wherever you're at.

Oh, that would
just ruin it for me.

Well, it's not exactly sexy,
but, I mean...

Not everything about that
encounter is always, is it?

Sometimes it's funny,
so, you know.

TV shows, movies,
you don't really see the women and the fart jokes.

That's-- I guess
"Bridesmaids" had a scene with farting and diarrhea

that was, I thought,
one of the funniest scenes in the movie.

And, I think, playing up
on the social idea

that women are not supposed
to fart makes it funnier.

Female interviewer:
Why is it that men find it funnier than women?

Do they?

It is a man's thing.

and we find it funny
that the women don't like it.

Female interviewer:
Do you think that women laugh at fart jokes

as much as men?

Uh, yes, especially
if it's men doing it.

Or somebody in a very
proper situation.

that you just know
would mortify you to death,

but it's not you
so you get to laugh.

If it's on the other foot,
I've often thought about this.

You know, if a woman
farted, you know,

than it's a massive
turnoff for a guy.

Do you know what I mean?
It's like, "Whoa," you know.

I'm always one that,
if you're gonna do it,

take the credit
for it, you know?

It does not excuse him
for holding the blankets over my head at night.

Yeah, holding
the covers down.

We call that
the "Dutch oven."

My Mom doesn't really
make any farts.

Cameraman #2:
Is she the silent type?

Yep.
And then, um...

And then she, um...

Well, we always say
her farts smell like roses.

'Cause they don't.

Man:
Is that what she tells you to say?

♪ With no one else
to frame ♪

♪ I take the blame

♪ You can't believe
it's been me the whole time ♪

♪ Rotting gas

♪ Whoa ooh whoa oh oh,
ho ooh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Smells like ass

♪ Oh ooo oh oh oh

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ In the bed

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ In the bed

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ In the bed

♪ I think I farted

No, it's social acceptance
and it's a difficult one,

because even I,
as a performing flatulist,

understand that.

People say to me,
"Hey, don't break wind in here."

You know, and like,
well, look, I'm a professional.

You know, I've got
more control than you.

So that's rubbish,
you know.

It's not
dinner table subject

except at our dinner table
some times,

but that's just because
somebody just did it.

We had standards.

You weren't supposed
to just go into church or something

and fart loud
and get a high five for it,

but you know, it--

So you still
had to have respect for your surroundings

and especially
big public places.

And, you know, my parents
would get embarrassed,

or my Mom
moreso than my Dad.

My Dad would give you
the high five, down low,

but, you know,
keep it hidden.

I can't-- I don't know
if there is any one story

people talk about having
flatulence on airplanes,

in job interviews

and the social embarrassment
that goes along with it

associated with that.

Work or having sex
would be the worst.

That is when
it's not acceptable.

I disagree.

Dawson:
It came out and I got more coverage on that

and sold more of that than all
my other books combined.

People,
remember this man

because this man

will be able to tell you
that Mr. Methane

does trump
from his bottom.

Because now,
this gentleman is going to place

his left earlobe
on my anus.

And we're going to fart
in his ear.

Farting was still
fairly, uh...

It was still fairly taboo
in the United States

and, uh, they had all these
morning zoo programs

and they were looking for
any excuse they could find

just to say
the word "fart"

or to play
fart effects on, you know--

you know,
on the air.

So, after the book
came out in February of '99--

for like
the next six months

I was up pretty much
every morning around 4:00

doing all these
morning zoo shows.

Oh man,
it was just--

I was laughing so hard
I was crying,

but I was totally
embarrassed.

It was awful.

Welcome, sir.
Welcome.

- Tommy.
- Tommy.

Welcome, Tommy.
Welcome.

Thanks.
Thanks.

Come and put your left ear
over my anus.

Nice and close.

The left not the right.

It's-- not the right,

- the left.
- The left.

- The left.
- Oh, okay, okay.

This is nothing
gay here.

This is like men bonding
like Vikings, okay?

- Make him close.
- Nice and close.

Okay?

It does not have teeth.
It does not bite.

Even closer, closer.
Here we go.

Okay, five...

All:
Four, three,

two, one.

But that's the worst part,

when you think
you have to fart

and you're
really worried

that it might
not be a fart.

Ah... Doo-doo.

Sammy, Sammy,
I want to thank you...

That-- that--
that was real.

That was-- that was...?

That was definite real.

- I'm serious.
- Woman: True.

You know,
you walk away

and that might
leave a mark.

Oh, God.
Don't do that.

Uh, sorry about
the mess there.

- Man: Mr. Methane?
- You'll have to wash it off.

Doo-doo.

I just said
"doo-doo" again.

We're just setting up
the competition.

I'm just saying.

Female interviewer:
Is that when you go look

for a restroom
at that point?

- Well, it might be too late.
- Too late.

Uh, that was maybe
a fart fret in English.

What do you think?
He tried fart hard.

He tried, yes,
but you've got to make sure

you don't go
all the way.

You know,
it's difficult.

You have to get
the balance right,

'cause you can have
an accident.

Okay.

This is my signature look.

I think I may have
just pooped myself.

Like, there is a girl
that Troy and I work with that came in--

and she came in
and she's kinda higher up,

and she's like,
"Well, I have a question"--

all serious.

And as she opened her mouth
to ask the question,

her butt opened
at the same time,

and she just farted
all the way through this question

and went, "Oops."

I couldn't even focus.

I just kinda...

And I thought,
I'm at work. I can't laugh.

'Cause I--
it's not funny at work.

I mean, it is funny,
but I would never do it at work.

And when she left,
as soon as she--

I knew she got down
to her office--

I couldn't control myself
the rest of the day.

The day was over.
Like, they should have just sent me home.

Like, she just said,
"Oh, whoops."

And then walked out.

Like not even
"excuse me, " but just...

I'm like, you just
opened your mouth and your butt

at the same time.

How can you even
face me ever again?

And being a boy,
you know how it was,

we just, you gotta go,
you gotta go.

Absolutely.

So, it's a natural, human
bodily function anyway, so...

Female interviewer:
But it was seen as rude.

It was seen as rude,
absolutely.

The louder you sing,
the louder I fart.

I do feel in any case,
um, in company,

there's a time and a place
for the farting.

And-- and--
and I don't start to fart

around the dinner table,
you know,

unless I really know
the people there,

and they're
comfortable with it

'cause they understand
that social etiquette.

- I am ready.
- Let's start!

All together now.
Let's do it!

Man:
My name is--

Yes, that's exactly
what my name is.

And today,
I give you the history of the whoopee cushion.

No, but at my wedding

they tried to put a
whoopee cushion on my chair,

and my kid
thought that was--

My uncles are the ones
that brought the darn thing.

Announcer:
Ready, set--

The first known item
that resembled a whoopee cushion

was used by a Roman emperor
by the name of...

Elagabalus.

And he tried
to get me to go sit down

and tried to,
you know, be all nice

and lead me
by my hand

and-- like he was gonna
see his mother and all...

And I saw the thing
underneath my seat cover

and that blew
the whole thing off of him--

all of 'em.
So, I didn't sit on it.

This company
put the word "whoopee"

on-- on-- on--
on this cushion--

whoopee cushion--
and bingo.

Then years later
in the early 1900s,

two factory workers
who were experimenting

with leftover scraps
of rubber...

...discovered
that if they glued two pieces

of rubber together,

they could make them
"farter face."

Man: Go! Go!

It wasn't
the sort of thing that you would put,

have a big advertisement
in the "New Yorker," you know?

But the thing, you know,
caught on and-- and--

uh, and these were like
mail-order companies.

The owner
of Gem Rubber Co.,

the company where
the factory workers worked,

took this new item

to the marketing geniuses
of Samuel Adams

of sneezing powder fame
in the early 1900s,

but he passed
on the product

saying that it was completely
and totally undignified.

You'd see them
in the back of a--

of a-- just a regular
magazine comic book

and order it
and they would send it to your door.

And it became
part of our culture.

The rubber guy then went
to Sam's competitor...

That one was silent.

...the Johnson-Smith
Company.

He sold novelty items
such as fake vomit,

X-ray goggles,
and a buzzing handshaker.

I don't even know
if people use 'em

as whoopee
cushions anymore.

I think they buy 'em
just to have it, you know,

just showing somebody
a whoopee cushion has the effect.

He saw the inherent value
in the whoopee cushion,

and he began marketing
it immediately.

At which point
Samuel Adams then said,

"Hey,
that's a great idea."

And made his own version
of the whoopee cushion

called the
raspberry cushion,

which is what
the English people call farts.

You know, it's like
Pavlov's dog at this point.

All you have to do
is see the thing

and then they laugh.

You know?

Pee-ew!

Go! Go! Go!

Announcer:
Three, two, one.

Oh, hello and welcome
to "Fart by Mail."

You might be
asking yourself,

"What exactly
is 'Fart by Mail'"?

In the back it said,
"Farts just like Dad used to make."

Oh, that should be good.

It's a mail order
fart service

where we send farts
to your friends for you.

Your friends
also get a stunning

professionally printed
high-gloss

full colored
greeting card.

Your custom message,
a heinous odor,

and a hilarious
fart sound.

I peeled something
that said "peel off."

It says,
"Smell here."

I think I would
avoid that at all cost.

It smells
like real poo.

Yeah, I guess
that would be from our son.

Um, I saw a
fart extinguisher which had...

It was an air freshener,

but it was in a little
extinguisher bottle.

It was very-- very clever.
Quite a practical joke.

It would've been a gift
to give you father.

Um...

You saw the Santa
fart doll.

Oh.

Woman:
♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪

♪ My true love
said to me ♪

'Twas the night
before Christmas

and all through
the house,

not a creature
was stirring,

not even a--

Ho ho ho ho!

Santa Claus was saying
"The Night Before Christmas"

and he let it rip
and he'd laugh

and then he'd modify
his story a little bit to include it.

It was a-- yeah,
it's a strange thing.

And all the cookies,
I hold in my cap,

I had just settled down
to take a big--

It's just--

it's beginning to smell
a lot like Christmas!

Here comes Santa Claus.

Radio DJ:
Ooh wee!

Ever notice
how possum taters

and chicken fried antlers
go right through ya?

♪ She'll be comin' around

♪ She'll be comin' around

♪ She'll be coming
round the mountain ♪

♪ When she comes

I think they
normally complain,

but are laughing
on the inside.

No, we complain
about the smell.

That's a whole
'nother thing.

Lots of comedy
in the UK is actually

based around, uh,
farting, isn't it?

Good-- yeah,
I like the idea. Bloody good.

He try--

I think when people
onstage get nervous,

the muscle tenses up,
they're unable to fart

it's very difficult
to come up here and fart.

When my daughter was little,
she'd sit on my lap

and she'd fart
and, "Oh, my God."

Jaken, you're the king
of walking by someone

and farting
and then leaving.

What do we call that?

whispering:
You know, crop dusting.

Crop dusting.

There was a time
and a place though, but my Mom and Dad

when we would go
to the grocery store,

my Dad would, you know,
leave one somewhere

waiting for my Mom
to walk in and it'd be like...

Or you're walking through
the mall or something,

you're like, oh my God,
what is that...?

'Cause you know
it wasn't you.

But somebody left that market
and there is no one there.

It was that bad
that it just kinda sat there for a while.

Never mind.

♪ No matter how hard I pray

♪ My gas won't go away

♪ I'll know
that it's not okay ♪

The foul stench
of flatulence

comes from the bacteria
inside our intestines.

In the process of converting
food into useful nutrients,

the bacteria produces
a smelly byproduct called...

Fart generating
ingredients include...

What's unusual is,
how loud or how stinky.

That's what sets--
that's what sets you apart.

I think
it's different

f you're the donor
or the receiver.

Dr. Wycoff:
You know the odor issue really runs the gamut.

It probably
relates more

to the type of foods
that you had to eat.

So I don't think
odor is something that you can reproducibly

or predictably
use as an indicator.

Certainly
a persistent foul odor

that's maybe
different than the past

and continues maybe
of some significance.

But for the clinician,
it's very hard to use odor

as a gauge
of what's going on.

You know, typically
when you have a loud fart,

it doesn't smell.

Female interviewer:
What's worse, noisy or stinky?

Oh, stinky.

No, it's a smell-noise
thing, isn't it?

No, the smell is terrible,
but if it's not noisy

and you don't know
who's done...

Female interviewer:
Is this true?

Nothing worse
than a silent stinker.

You know, usually
you got the noise maker

- that has no impact.
-

And then those
silent but deadly ones

that kinda
clear the room.

He's both all in one.

We got the best
of both worlds.

Yeah, he's got--
he's both.

I'm a toss-up.
You never know.

You never know.

And then you have--
you come into

which is the most
obnoxious type, is it?

- The silent but violent.
- That's bad.

Or the noisy
but innocent.

Worse, in terms
of producing humor, uh, I think,

noise has more potential
to produce humor.

As far as what might
make me a bit squeamish,

I think
it's the smell.

I don't know
if he held it in for that time or what.

You know,
the noise is funny,

but when it smells
so bad...

- That you can just taste it?
- ...that's just gross.

That's a bonus.

Well, Jaken,
do your farts reek?

No.

They really do.

I mean,
I didn't mind smells

associated with farts
too much

until I learned
that smells are actually

produced by
physical molecules.

And whenever
I remember that--

whenever I think
there's something physical--

from somebody else's...

insides
in my nostrils,

then that tends
to make me a bit queasy.

Female interviewer: Thank you
for teaching me that.

Female interviewer:
Yeah, there's actually particles in the air.

Yeah, we know.
We don't wanna think about it.

Really?

Yeah, you really
are tasting it.

Female narrator:
The "escapee," which takes place

when trying to pee
at the urinal

or forcing a poop.

It's not like
you just pooped on him.

- I mean, it...
- Well, sorta.

- It's in the air.
- I know.

It went down
his throat, right?

Female narrator:
This is almost always followed

by an overwhelming sense
of shame and embarrassment.

If this does take place,
remain calm.

Pretend it did not happen.

If you are in the vicinity
of this happening,

do not acknowledge.
It is uncomfortable for all involved.

Well, children
absolutely adore farting.

Just about every family--

no matter how proper
they are, you know,

has some kind
of little expression

that they use
with the kids.

You know,
because everybody farts

and kids fart,
and kids find farts funny.

So adults
have to deal with it

in one way
or another.

So they would have
all these expressions like,

"Somebody let Fluffy
of the leash."

Uh, "Did somebody
step on a duck?"

And if you've ever
farted in the shower,

you know, facing away
from the shower,

you know that when
you fart it-- it--

it makes a
quacking sound.

You know?

Quack.

When it came time
for this third book,

that just seemed like a--
like a good title.

Boy: Stop!

Mother:
What does your daddy do that stinks?

He farts.

Mother:
Is that funny?

And I'm brilliant
at making children laugh.

If you--
if I want--

if you happen to be
on a long-haul flight,

and there's
a child crying,

then I can--
I can stop them crying.

I can make them laugh.

And I do it
by doing this.

Within seconds,
they're falling about.

Woman:
Ooh!

Ah, there's
just something...

With adults
it doesn't work quite so well.

Woman: Never mind.

With children,
they love it.

There's just something
about that sound.

My kids like my fart app
on my kindle.

Male announcer:
If you need to clear a room fast

or just make someone laugh,
iFart for the iPhone

may be just what
you're looking for.

Select any of the sounds,

but with new features
like sound recorder,

"Fart a Friend"
and many more...

iFart charges everything.

Think of it though.
It's a noise that comes out of your butt.

- Well, in the--
- How is that not funny?

♪ Please don't say goodbye
I know that most girls ♪

♪ Try to keep
their flatulence inside ♪

♪ But I can't lie

♪ I need a man
who knows the past ♪

♪ A lot of gas,
that smells the gas ♪

♪ Is here to last
for infinity to beyond ♪

♪ Rotting gas

♪ I farted

♪ Smells like ass

♪ I definitely farted

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ On a wall

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ In the bed

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ On the TV

♪ I think
I fa a-a-a-a ♪

♪ Rotting gas

♪ I'll be
coming round the mountain ♪

♪ When she comes

♪ I'll be coming
around the mountain when she comes ♪

Uh, one candle is still...

- Oh, one left.
- One left now.

Make a wish.
Make a wish.

My kids can't do it
without announcing it.

They'll do it and of course,
the whole world hears it.

Mom, I farted!

Really?
Yeah, pull my finger.

Gail Hale:
Well, we were-- we were on a cruise ship

and my sisters and--
we were on the elevator...

Oh, the elevator fart.

...and the elevator
door opened

and these people
were getting in and I said,

"You don't
wanna come in here."

Do not go in there.

Female interviewer:
It was him.

- Yeah.
- I don't recall this story.

- It was in Alaska.
- Ah.

♪♪

♪ Dog farts

♪ How unfortunate,
oh, no ♪

♪ Dog farts

♪ Someone open a window...

- Female interviewer: Right.
- Yes.

Female interviewer:
So, what would you say

is your most embarrassing
fart story?

It's embarrassing
for the person that does it, isn't it sometimes?

None of them
are embarrassing for me.

- He just lets it rip.
- When it's time it's time.

I think, yes,
it's obviously

embarrassing
if you're with

complete strangers
or people you've just recently met.

And, uh, I think
in some circumstances

if someone does,
it's followed by silence,

and, um--
awkward silence.

I'm not sure
I get embarrassed about farting.

One time I had this
big fart at Target...

In that sense,
it's not something

that I associate
with, uh--

uh, humor
in my own life really.

I can imagine some
very prim and proper situations

where the one that did it
was probably

terribly embarrassed
or mortified.

But everybody around
'em was just...

Couldn't wait
to get outside to bust out laughing

You know.

Houston:
Okay

Yes, of course,
if it's people you know or family,

then, uh, uh--

somebody
will make a witty...

- Remark?
- Remark. That's right.

If I wanna fart,
I just do.

It's not-- it's not me.
I-- I don't fart.

Cameraman #2:
If you toot, do you blame it

on somebody else?

No.

Kind of no,
not really.

Cameraman #2:
So you take responsibility for your own farts?

Of course I do.

Then how'd you know
it was me?

We knew.

I don't know
what you're hearing, but it's not me.

Uh-uh.
Denial.

You normally don't
raise your hand.

That was me.

Yes, I...

I mean, I don't
announce it, uh, obviously.

That was me.

That was me.

Actually,
sometimes I do announce it.

Uh, but, I mean,
it depends on the company,

I guess.

Sometimes I just--
you know, I sneak them out...

Same as everybody else does.

Female interviewer :
Right. Yeah.

Um, originally,
when I started, obviously,

I discovered this ability
to breathe, um--

with the bottom end.

I'm just gonna
give you one for level.

Yeah?

That was, uh,
that was George Michael, that was.

A careless whisper.

I was introduced
by Kelsey Grammer-- Fraser of Cheers...

Two, one...

...you know,
and he gives a monologue

and then he's
with a lady actress,

um, I think her name
was Brett Butler,

and she says,
"Oh, that farting guy was awful."

You know,
his anecdote is...

it's the first thing
we ever laugh at in life,

and possibly the only thing
we can always laugh at.

I-- I think--
I think you know what's going on here now.

Um, then it becomes
less funny and, uh,

adults who are--

who aspire to be more
sophisticated and cultured

tend to try
and distance themselves from that kind of humor.

Uh, but it's like
any taboo, I suppose,

uh, it always
has the potential to resurface

in humorous ways.

And so,
it always tends to have a-- you know,

a-- a humorous
potential farting.

Um, but, yes,
I mean, it's--

it's more
associated with, uh,

children
and childish humor.

Which is a shame.

Swift, you know,
wrote a lot of things

about people farting

because he saw
that as an expression

of our basic humanity

that we're always
trying to cover up.

And, therefore,
it's always funnier than it really is.

Didn't you say something
about the...

You were in
the underground in London

- with a lot of people.
- Oh, that's right.

- What is it?
- I went to a soccer match--

football match--
many years ago,

and it was

absolutely packed, you--
like sardines...

Woman over P.A.:
This is a Piccadilly line service to Oxbridge.

...and you couldn't move.

Couldn't move.

One of my colleagues
from work had been

drinking beer,
hot dogs, onions--

- the whole lot...
- What a mixture.

Well, anyway,
halfway along the journey, he dropped one.

The moment, um, I...

I tentatively
made this claim,

to be the world's
only performing flatulist.

There were moans and...

You could tell--
you could actually hear it

passing up the coach,
the carriage

I'm not so tentative now,
because I know

there are other flatulists

or other people
who perform my art.

As the complaints
moved up the train,

gosh, and nobody could--
you couldn't escape.

You couldn't walk away.
You couldn't do anything.

It was disgusting.

But to actually go out there
and perform a show

and-- and--
and make a living out of it,

uh, which I do...

...Strangely, I--

I still find it bizarre.

You know, and there's times
when I try and retire.

And it's like a calling,
it pulls me back.

It pulls me back.
It says, "You won't do that.

No. You will
go to Japan, you know,

and you will fart on the
television on Fuji TV.

Okay.
One, two...

For the entertainment value,
of course.

Not-- not lots of times,
but on the few occasions

I've had hostile,
um, sort of reactions

from an audience.

Luckily, it's not
a lot of the time.

And I've had to sort of say,
well, obviously,

it's not for you
and just wind it up.

I think once
was a BMW sales conference.

I am ready.
Is the orchestra ready?

- Are you ready?
- Yes.

Oldfield:
He said, come on the show and we'll sing a duet.

So I came on the show
and we sang a duet of "Da Doo Ron Ron."

♪ I met him on a Monday
and my heart stood still ♪

It was, you know,

it was a piece
of classic television.

♪ And my heart stood still

That was it.
I was never shown on the BBC.

And by today's standards
it's quite mild.

♪ And his name was Bill

But at the time,
it was just, no, no.

I mean, we're going back,
I think it was '90...

'97-- 1997, so, you know,
attitudes were different.

And, really,
when I create something, it's a labor of love.

I just take it
and reform it,

but, you know,
it's still a labor of love.

This is what I do
as a job.

And-- and-- and to me,
that's a work of art.

♪ Da doo ron ron ron

It's just a fart.
You know to me,

all you have to do
is fart over it.

You don't realize
what a lot of hard work

goes into that,
um, farting, really.

You know, I once
recorded a version

of "In The Air Tonight"
by Phil Collins.

♪ I remember

It's a very...

You know, music
is a precious creation.

It's something
they've created.

So they're very--
you like to laugh.

A lot of big artists

like the fact
that I've done

"In The Air Tonight"
by Phil Collins.

You know, but if you
turn around to them and say,

well, could we do one
of your tracks?

Oh, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

So, they like to laugh,

but you-- we mustn't
despoil their work.

All right.

I do understand
that-- that, you know,

when you create something
and it's a work of,

you know, in your eyes
that's a work of art--

it's a labor of love,

and then a guy comes along
and farts all over it.

♪ I remember--

Jim Dawson:
In this country, there's been some big changes

since my book came out.

In 1999,
when "Who Cut The Cheese?"

came out, uh,
of course,

there were a lot
of films by that time

that had farting gags
in 'em.

But the "L.A. Times,"
for example,

would not
use that word.

And then over time,
I saw that--

that they've started
using the word "fart"

in the, you know...

If they were talking
about old people, you know,

he's a, you know,
he's an old fart.

We're so old,
we fart dust.

And then gradually,
they would start--

they would
quote someone

that said something
about fart jokes

because
after a while,

the idea of fart
jokes and films

became sort of like
a big topic out here.

Because every comedy
had at least

one fart joke scene.

You know, and it became
sort of like, you know,

like a, um...

a bad example
of comedy.

You know,
is there, you know,

can there be at least
one comedy film

that doesn't have
a fart joke in it?

But I-- I think
a lot of the--

a lot of sort
of comedy cowboy movies--

Yeah, well,
"Blazing Saddles" is the classic.

Well, if somebody
would make a comment like that,

the "L.A. Times"
would print it.

So, gradually, they would,
you know, they would...

The word "fart"
crept into the, um, newspaper,

and I think
that really expresses

the overall acceptance

that's been going
on for the last, well, let's see,

what, this is,
uh, 2013.

So we're
talking about,

you know,
if it was 14 years ago.

I think generally it's best
for people to get them out.

Ah...

Because...

...there's nothing
worse than a cooked one.

A lot of humor is sho--

shock and shame,
you know, that's--

that's all part
of what's funny.

We're all
on the same road... - Yes.

...with an ultimate goal,

but we're all.
different travelers

And also same
experience of gas.

I don't think
I'll ever forget this day.

Well, it reminds us

that no matter
how high and mighty

we may think we are,

we may think
we're part of the--

we're-- we're--
we're part of the angels or something,

but when it comes
down to it,

we're just like
the dogs and the cats.

You know--

when, you know,
we poop and pee and fart

just like everybody else.

Like all the other
animals out there.

Hey, Randy,
are farts flammable?

Yes, Ian.
Farts are flame-able.

The proper way to light a fart
is to lie on your back

with your legs up.

They're probably
more of what I would call

one of those
Internet wives' tale.

Apparently,
the hydrogen sulfide that's produced in the bowel

had some potential
to ignite...

Here we go.

...but I've never heard
anyone that's done it.

But is it in the realm
of possible?

Um, probably
a good Mythbusters.

Humans fart up to
about a half a gallon a day.

That's about...

Some a whole lot more.

Cameraman:
A human being farts 14 times a day.

Female interviewer:
On average.

Baxter:
14 times a day? Do you know the volume?

Emilia Gortan:
14 times a day?

Cameraman:
They don't have--

No,
I don't think so.

How many cc's
of toxic gas does that...?

Dr. Wycoff:
And the mile-per-hour one is news to me.

Ah, that very
well may be true.

I'm not sure
how you measure that.

The 14-- I've heard anywhere
from an eight to 20

as being the normal range
for most people.

Oftentimes, you know,
flatulence is passed

when you're sleeping
or in a way

that you don't even notice
you're passing it but, uh,

14 is probably right
and seven miles-per-hour, it sounds good to me.

Female interviewer:
Right, yeah,

- I don't know either.
- I don't know how you measure.

- Right.
- Maybe they have a meter.

A flat-o-meter
or something.

Or a slow-motion camera.
I don't know.

Maybe--
maybe that's it.

There's a whole study
of flatalogy.

So, uh, maybe
they've studied it.

Well, that was
laid on me.

You know,
the people said,

"Well, can we call
you a 'fartologist?'"

And I said,
"Well, sure."

And, you know--
and it-- it--

it helps sell books,
I suppose.

Male interviewer:
So, what is the definition of a "fartologist," I guess.

Well, a "fartologist"
is somebody who has been

studying all the--
the-- the, um--

phenomena of farting.

Female narrator:
When forcing a poop...

...sometimes a fart will take place

in a rapid
machine-gun fashion.

Possibly as a result
of drinking too much

- or of feeling sick.
-

When this happens,
keep calm

and wait until
the bathroom is cleared

before planning
your exit.

I don't care anymore.

I used to keep it in or I--
I used to go to the bathroom...

In our family
there was a rating system.

You know,
there were--

there were five of us
including the dog,

and Dad was top,

our daughter
was number two stinky,

then was my son,

then was the dog,
then was me,

because I
made the system.

The sound-- you know,
the fart sound,

I believe,
it's just from the-- the anal opening--

the anal sphincter
skin vibrating

as the gas is expelled
through normal peristalsis,

so your colon
can contract,

and as it contracts,
it pushes things through

including gas.

And it can push it
through at apparently

seven miles-per-hour.

So, um, the passage
of the gas through the anal opening,

the anal verge
produces a sound.

Most British men
my age now should have a beer belly

that I can--
it's that big-- I can rest, you know,

I can rest a tray
of chips and gravy on it

and eat from, you know,
but I haven't.

You know, I keep--
I keep farting fit.

I don't know.
I guess everything that we can--

that we can explore

or that we can
be more honest about

just breaks down
more barriers.

It just, you know,
like you said,

eliminate the shame,
eliminate the judgment.

I mean, if we
can all just agree that it's normal,

then there's not
any reason to have anything

other than laughter,
right?

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ On your cat

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ On my cat

- ♪ I think I farted
- ♪ On a photo of Mitt Romney

♪ I think
I fa a-a-arted ♪

Aw crap!
I just -- my pants.

Final summation:
Farting is always fun.

Farting with others
is more fun.

And making it like
someone else farted,

well, that's just money.

It was my pleasure.

All right,
now I'm gonna go fart.

Now you can
let it all out.

♪ Come on,
everybody. ♪

♪ Let's have a farty

♪♪

I mean, you're
misinterpreting what I do.

You know, you think
I've got a gas problem.

And what I've got
is a control of my gas.

Male interviewer:
What do you guys think about

us doing a documentary
about farting?

I think it's fabulous.
I can't wait to watch it.

I can't wait to buy it
and own it.

Are you gonna
have to buy it?

Are we gonna
have to buy it?

Female interviewer #2:
We'll give you guys copies, yeah.

I'm gonna let it go.

Hey, you're not...?

I don't know
if I wanna touch you.

♪ May the fart
be with you ♪

♪ May the fart
be with you ♪

We're looking
for the reaction.

Yeah, I have,
but it's a manly thing to do.

Especially
if it's a spanker.

♪ May the fart
be with you. ♪