Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,344
Shitty thing.
2
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:11,980
Guillermo-- He doesn't
live here anymore.
3
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,081
How is it? I can't see.
4
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:17,050
Tonight we are attending
a very special event.
5
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,219
Ha!
6
00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,054
Aye, fuck.
7
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:25,560
The Baron is receiving
an eternal lifetime
achievement award.
8
00:00:25,727 --> 00:00:29,998
I have never heard
of such a thing,
but it sounds very cool.
9
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:34,334
[Nadja] It is about time
our Baron got recognized
10
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,337
for all the incredible work
he does in our local community.
11
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,406
-Yeah.
-He has done so much
for all of us,
12
00:00:39,574 --> 00:00:42,309
-both as a leader
and as a reliable lay.
-[Laszlo] Yeah.
13
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,946
Of course I am quite accustomed
to being exalted...
14
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:48,081
-[Sire growling]
-...praised, feared. [laughs]
15
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,752
But this shall be
a night to remember.
16
00:00:50,919 --> 00:00:53,821
Alas, no. The Sire
cannot make it.
17
00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:56,724
Our usual sitter just started
at Northwestern and, well...
18
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,058
-[retches]
-Oh!
19
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,294
You know how hard it is
to find someone new.
20
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,997
-Baron, give us a twirl.
-[chuckling] Oh, no.
21
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,567
-[Nandor] Yes, please, Baron.
-[Nadja] Look at him go. Wow.
22
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,267
-[Nandor] Spin, Baron, spin.
-[Nadja] Wow.
23
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:10,437
Look at you all.
Where are we going?
24
00:01:10,605 --> 00:01:12,974
We are going to an event
to honor the Baron.
25
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:14,709
-Oh.
-[Nandor] And you are not.
26
00:01:14,876 --> 00:01:17,779
-Oh.
-Because you
have made it very clear
27
00:01:17,946 --> 00:01:21,916
that your future lies with
the humans, not the vampires.
28
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,619
-That's not fair.
-[Nandor] Guillermo,
we are a family.
29
00:01:24,786 --> 00:01:26,588
-Right.
-We will always be a family.
30
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,757
-Thank you. [chuckles]
-And you are no longer
part of the family.
31
00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:32,927
-Capisce?
-Because you rejected
your vampire family.
32
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,762
-I didn't--
-Yeah. The "vamily."
33
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,131
Oh. Colin Robinson, no.
34
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,267
-Hell-lo.
-Here he is.
35
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,603
-Shall we saddle up?
-Yes.
36
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,437
Well, why does the monster get
to go and not me?
37
00:01:43,605 --> 00:01:45,372
-"Vamily."
-[Colin] Yeah.
38
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,076
-[Nadja] No, not him as well.
-[Laszlo] Very good. [laughs]
39
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:27,280
Yeah, I'm a little hurt
I'm not going to
the vampire gathering tonight,
40
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:29,917
but it's probably
for the best, you know?
41
00:02:31,753 --> 00:02:34,022
Besides, I already made plans
to hang out with
my cousin Miguel.
42
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:37,525
Actually, Miguel and I
used to be really close
when I was little.
43
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:41,029
But then he kinda became
this, like, jock.
44
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,330
We grew apart,
45
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,834
but our moms are determined
that we be really good friends.
[chuckles]
46
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,139
We're gonna... hang out.
47
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,014
-Miguel! Hey. [chuckling]
-Hey. How you doing?
48
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,215
[laughing] You love it.
49
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,518
-No, I don't.
-Yeah, you do.
50
00:03:03,685 --> 00:03:06,154
No, I don't. [chuckling]
I really don't.
51
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:09,356
We should've done this sooner.
I was working at this job,
you know?
52
00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,527
It was crazy. I had to
get outta there. I was
starting to lose my mind--
53
00:03:12,694 --> 00:03:15,063
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Memo.
I don't need the whole
pinche novella, okay?
54
00:03:15,697 --> 00:03:16,764
Losers first.
55
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:17,765
[Miguel] Go get 'em, slugger.
56
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:19,867
Oh!
57
00:03:20,802 --> 00:03:21,736
Strike one!
58
00:03:21,903 --> 00:03:23,370
Little out of practice
there, Memo?
59
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:25,039
I don't think
I was ever in practice.
60
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,440
What are you talking about?
61
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:28,308
We used to play all the time
when we were little.
62
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:29,711
Ah!
63
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,879
[Miguel] Gotta keep your eyes
on the ball, Memo.
64
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:36,216
[Nandor] There it is.
Every gang in the tristate area
is here. How delightful.
65
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,352
-[hisses]
-[Colin] Yeah. Looks like
everyone came out to play.
66
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,421
-[Nandor] Salutations.
-[Colin] The Warriors.
Walter Hill. 1979.
67
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:42,623
Exciting.
68
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:47,128
-[Laszlo] What a turnout.
-[Nadja] Look up there.
It's the Fly Guys.
69
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:50,464
[Nandor]
Oh, wow. I haven't seen the
Lower East Side Vampire Punks
70
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,266
since one spat on me in 1983.
71
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,903
I was cool with it.
It's what we did back then.
72
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:59,372
-Hello, Hamptons vampires.
-Like, "Hampires."
73
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,542
-Stop it!
-I hate these dipshits.
74
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:05,146
But kinda makes you proud,
you know? Our people.
75
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,583
[chuckling]
So, this is all for me?
76
00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:11,318
-Baron Afanas, there you are.
-[Baron] Ah.
77
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,486
-Hi.
-Hello.
78
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,589
You look lovely tonight.
79
00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:17,257
-[chuckles]
-I mean, you look
lovely every night.
80
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,292
-We all look lovely tonight.
-Ugh.
81
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,829
-You included.
-Thank you.
82
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:24,665
All right. I'm just going
to bring you up to the stage,
83
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,667
-and then Jerry
will introduce you.
-[growls]
84
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,436
-[Nandor] Jerry is here?
-Who Jerry?
85
00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:31,773
Jerry's the one who put on
this whole event.
86
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,842
Look out, Manhattan all-girls
private-school vampires.
87
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:38,478
Vicious, ruthless killers,
both socially and
in a murder sense.
88
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,947
What's up, girlies?
89
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:43,117
-[girls scoff, laugh]
-Ew.
90
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,085
-Hey!
-Told ya.
91
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:47,121
-Check one, check two.
-[Nandor] Cute.
92
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,091
Hello. Hi.
93
00:04:50,258 --> 00:04:52,927
[Nandor] I can't believe
this total zero gets to
introduce the Baron Afanas.
94
00:04:53,094 --> 00:04:54,494
Doesn't seem right.
95
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:57,231
He hasn't even sucked him off,
let alone been nuts deep.
96
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:58,633
-[shushes]
-All right.
97
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,168
-Just be quiet.
-[Laszlo] You be quiet.
98
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,004
Can you count, suckers?
99
00:05:03,171 --> 00:05:06,473
-[vampires cheering]
-[air horn blows]
100
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,475
[Jerry] Look around you.
101
00:05:08,643 --> 00:05:11,145
Look at all
these different vampires,
102
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,114
-all gathered together as one.
-[vampires cheer]
103
00:05:13,281 --> 00:05:15,448
[Jerry] Yes. How about it?
104
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:17,552
We've got our
Coney Island carny vampires...
105
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,086
[vampires cheering, applauding]
106
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,421
[Jerry] ...side by side
with our leatherette vampires.
107
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,659
-We've got
our Rockaway surfers...
-[air horns blow]
108
00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:27,562
...right next to
our JFK TSA vampires.
109
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:32,800
-Thank you for your service!
-This city doesn't bleed
without you all.
110
00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:34,602
[cheering]
111
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:37,104
-[Nandor] Yes!
-That's right!
That's right, Jerry!
112
00:05:37,238 --> 00:05:41,809
Tonight we've gathered to hear
from our esteemed leader...
113
00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:44,879
-[cheering]
-...the great Baron Afanas.
114
00:05:45,046 --> 00:05:49,584
Our supreme commander
in charge of our conquest
of the New World.
115
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,952
[Nandor] Yes, conquest!
116
00:05:53,888 --> 00:05:55,890
At least,
that was the plan, right?
117
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,959
-[cheering stops]
-Wasn't it?
118
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,327
Taking over the New World?
119
00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:02,864
-[vampire 1 clears throat]
-People feeling good about it?
120
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,665
I'm just asking questions.
I don't know.
121
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:08,703
Maybe the Baron
will be able to provide
some of these answers tonight.
122
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:12,472
Maybe there's
a perfectly good explanation
123
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,844
for why we were
sent here 250 years ago
to conquer the continent
124
00:06:17,011 --> 00:06:20,214
and we still find ourselves
cowering in the shadows.
125
00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:25,286
-Do you have an answer
for that? Do you know why?
-[Nandor] What's this shit?
126
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,321
-[vampire 2]
When can we move on?
-Jerry.
127
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:29,523
That introduction
I cannot live up to.
128
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,593
-Thank you, thank you.
-'Cause here's
what I wanna know.
129
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,263
-[Laszlo] What the fuck?
-[Jerry] Does the fault lie
in ourselves?
130
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,430
Does it lie in our stars?
131
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,200
Or...
132
00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:43,403
-does it lie in our leadership?
-[vampires clamoring]
133
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,706
-[vampire 4] He has a point!
-I'm genuinely asking.
I don't know.
134
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,174
-[The Guide] Hey, hey.
-[Laszlo] What is he
talking about?
135
00:06:47,308 --> 00:06:49,277
Move! [grunts]
136
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,713
Gimme that. How dare you
disrespect this man?
137
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,482
-[Laszlo] Hear! Hear!
-This is the great,
138
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:58,451
the beautiful Baron Afanas.
139
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:03,456
[cheering]
140
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:07,427
And this man, this mixer
of boiling hot feces,
141
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,297
he knows not of his place.
142
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:13,100
He's nothing but a sower
of discontent and disrespect.
143
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,936
-[spits]
-[grunts] Let me see that.
144
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,469
-[Nadja] Puttana! No!
-Let me see that.
145
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:17,972
-No. No. Shut up!
-Hold on. Hold on.
146
00:07:18,139 --> 00:07:20,708
-[monster growling]
-No. No, no, don't--
147
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,143
[crowd gasps]
148
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,081
-[whimpers]
-[Laszlo] Ah!
149
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:28,616
[monster groans]
150
00:07:28,783 --> 00:07:31,552
-[Baron] Uh--
-Okay. Uh,
that was not my fault.
151
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,654
-[Nadja chuckles]
-[gasping, murmuring]
152
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,489
-[monster growls]
-[vampire 5] Jerry was killed
by that Frankenstein monster!
153
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,426
-[crowd clamoring]
-It's Cravensworth's monster.
154
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,460
Run! Run!
155
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:43,463
They killed Jerry!
The Staten Island vampires
killed Jerry!
156
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,967
-No, we didn't.
-Kill them!
157
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,768
-[crowd shouting]
-We should get
the fuck out of here!
158
00:07:54,108 --> 00:07:56,944
[vampire 7] Kill them!
159
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,661
Fucking hell.
How many bats are up there?
160
00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:15,830
[Nadja] So flying home
is not an option.
161
00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,332
[Nandor] Where do we go,
what do we do
and how do we do it?
162
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,969
[whimpers] We need to get home.
Which way is home? Is it north?
163
00:08:22,136 --> 00:08:24,538
-I'm certain we are south.
-No. No, we're not.
I'm feeling east.
164
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,173
[Colin] You know
I can't fly, you dicks.
165
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,642
[Nadja] Ah. Colin Robinson,
do you know how to get home?
166
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,811
-No, I have no idea. I...
-[groans]
167
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:34,315
I never thought
I'd ever say this, but I think
we need to call Gizmo.
168
00:08:34,482 --> 00:08:35,950
-[Nadja] Ah! Yes.
-Yes, great idea.
169
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,653
Guillermo!
170
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,423
Not like that,
you fucking idiot.
With the phone that he's doing.
171
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,225
I can also try echolocating.
172
00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:47,595
-[vocalizes]
-Nadja, I'm on the phone!
173
00:08:47,762 --> 00:08:49,530
[Miguel] Come one, man.
That's why you
gotta concentrate.
174
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,232
[Guillermo] I was concentrating.
175
00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:53,502
-[grunts]
-So this new job has
a documentary about it too?
176
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,772
No, it's actually
the same documentary.
177
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,241
It just now follows a guy
who quits his old job
178
00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:02,576
and goes out into
the regular world.
179
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:06,247
Okay, word. So it's like
Sling Blade. But boring.
180
00:09:06,414 --> 00:09:08,517
Know what, Miguel? This is why
I don't hang out with you.
181
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,718
You don't hang out
with any of the familia.
182
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:14,088
I don't because every time I do,
they make me feel guilty
that I'm always busy.
183
00:09:14,255 --> 00:09:16,390
This was a mistake.
I'm sorry. I'm gonna go, okay?
184
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:19,427
Hey, hey. Come on, Memo.
I'm not mad at you, man.
185
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:22,029
We love you.
All right? We were worried.
186
00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:24,331
We never saw you.
You're out there on your own.
187
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:26,200
You never even talked
about having any friends.
188
00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:28,503
Don't worry about me, okay?
I have plenty of friends.
189
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,305
Oh, really? That's great.
Name me one friend.
Like, who's your best friend?
190
00:09:31,472 --> 00:09:34,075
That would be, uh, Nandor.
191
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,544
Nandor?
192
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,711
My-- My boss. My ex-boss.
He's not my boss anymore.
193
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,747
Your best friend
is your former boss?
194
00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,749
-[phone buzzing]
-I know, okay?
It's complicated, but...
195
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:42,716
Wait.
196
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:44,519
Colin?
197
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,220
Wait, slow down. What?
198
00:09:48,523 --> 00:09:51,358
[Miguel] Here we go,
Mr. Drama Queen.
Just like always.
199
00:09:51,526 --> 00:09:54,261
Every time we start to have fun,
you all of a sudden
have an emergency somewhere.
200
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,630
-My friends need help.
They're in danger.
-In danger?
201
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,966
It's gonna sound crazy,
but someone's
trying to kill them.
202
00:09:59,568 --> 00:10:02,136
-What the fuck?
-Just please let me go.
203
00:10:02,303 --> 00:10:04,605
No, no. Fuck that.
I'm going with you,
all right? Let's roll.
204
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,273
You don't even know them.
Why would you wanna come?
205
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,375
I don't need to know them.
206
00:10:08,543 --> 00:10:10,311
You're my familia, all right?
I have to have your back.
Let's go.
207
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:14,815
-Okay.
-An attack on your friends
is an attack on all of us.
208
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,750
Seat belt on.
209
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,053
Wait. You should know
before we go that
my friends, they're...
210
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:19,987
they're not like
211
00:10:21,322 --> 00:10:23,824
the regular people
that you know.
212
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,494
Memo, will you chill out?
I have gay friends, all right?
It's not a big deal. ¡Ándale!
213
00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:30,898
[girls giggling]
214
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:33,000
And remember,
when we find them, I get dibs
215
00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:35,936
-on killing the one with
the really gross man bun.
-[girl 1] So cringe.
216
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,372
[girls laugh]
217
00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,441
-[girl 2]
They're not here. Let's go.
-[girl 1] Okay, let's go.
218
00:10:40,609 --> 00:10:41,942
[rumbling]
219
00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:48,382
-Okay. That was not
supposed to go that way.
-[cat screeches]
220
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:51,785
I cannot believe that Jerry
betrayed the Baron like that.
221
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:54,188
As long as you are all right,
that's all that matters.
222
00:10:54,355 --> 00:10:56,625
-Ugh.
-[The Guide] I have been
serving Jerry for months.
223
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,893
I feel so betrayed.
I'm so sorry.
224
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,795
I hear you, I hear you.
You know, trust is essential--
225
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,798
Um-- We're just gonna
give you guys a minute.
Just give you some...
226
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,767
[Nandor] Sounds like
this Jerry does not get...
227
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:11,005
Laszlo, why did your monster
flip the fuck out
and pop Jerry's head?
228
00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:14,041
He was just performing
his duties as a protector.
229
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:18,012
Well, then how do I know that
he might not just flip out
one day and pop my head?
230
00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:20,515
-My monster would never do that.
-How could you be so sure?
231
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,518
Look at the mess
that thing has created.
232
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:28,189
That lumbering,
demented donkey of a creature
is clearly capable of anything.
233
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:32,661
No, no, no. He's not.
My darling, my monster
would never hurt you.
234
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,461
I didn't want you to know,
235
00:11:34,629 --> 00:11:37,031
but the sole objective
of creating him
in the first place
236
00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:38,533
was to keep you safe.
237
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,467
What?
238
00:11:40,635 --> 00:11:43,470
My darling, if anything were
to happen to me,
239
00:11:43,638 --> 00:11:45,507
-you would be protected.
-[laughs]
240
00:11:45,674 --> 00:11:47,509
-What?
-When have I ever
needed protecting
241
00:11:47,676 --> 00:11:48,709
from anything or anyone?
242
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,377
I knew you'd react like this.
243
00:11:50,545 --> 00:11:52,046
For the record, my darling,
244
00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:55,182
I was a vampire
on my own for centuries.
245
00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:57,586
Before you came along,
Mr. Cravensworth,
246
00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:02,423
I once ripped
an entire pack of werewolves
to shreds with my bare fangs
247
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,594
and then scattered
their entrails on the road
like a confetti.
248
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,598
-I've heard this story
a thousand--
-Ah! A confetti.
249
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,768
[Laszlo] The skies are clear.
250
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,403
[The Guide] Let's try
to get our bearings.
251
00:12:16,571 --> 00:12:19,440
-[Nadja gasps] Look.
Look down there.
-[chattering]
252
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:23,545
Athletes preparing for
a baseball game? At this hour?
253
00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:26,780
They're not athletes,
you tit. They're
the Bronx Bomber vampires.
254
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,516
Well, they're looking for us.
255
00:12:28,683 --> 00:12:30,751
Good. Let's just take them on
and get this over with. [hisses]
256
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,253
No, we should cross the bridge.
257
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,088
-[Nandor] Okay.
-[Nadja scoffs]
258
00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:35,557
-[Colin] Keep walking.
-[The Guide]
They're coming up here!
259
00:12:35,724 --> 00:12:37,458
-[Colin] Just keep walking.
-[bats squeaking]
260
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:38,892
-[Nandor] What now?
-[Laszlo] Shit.
261
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,096
Oh, no. It's the
Meatpacking District vampires.
262
00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:44,298
[Laszlo] As deadly
as they are beautiful.
263
00:12:44,465 --> 00:12:46,066
I wouldn't mind having
my meat packed.
264
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,402
-This way. To the subway.
-[Nadja] Shut the fuck up.
265
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:50,871
-[Nandor] Flee! Down here!
-[Laszlo] We must run!
266
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:53,040
[Laszlo] Come on.
Take cover fast!
267
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,309
-[The Guide] Fuck yeah.
I see an entrance.
-[bats squeaking]
268
00:12:55,476 --> 00:12:56,777
[Nadja] Come on. Hurry.
269
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,412
[The Guide] Does the subway
even go to Staten Island?
270
00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:00,481
-[Nandor] Stay close, Blondie.
-[Laszlo] What the fuck?
271
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,717
-[Nandor] Hey. What's this shit?
-[The Guide yelps]
272
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,753
-[Nadja] Great.
Jumping vampires.
-[Laszlo] All right. Cool down.
273
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,453
[Nadja] Is it hat vampires?
274
00:13:06,621 --> 00:13:08,690
-[Laszlo] Fuck off. Fuck off.
-[Nando] Oh, shit.
275
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,725
[Nadja] No. What are they?
276
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:11,992
These guys are the, uh...
277
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,528
[hissing]
278
00:13:13,695 --> 00:13:16,397
I don't actually know
what kind of vampires these are.
279
00:13:16,564 --> 00:13:19,433
-Are they '80s vampires?
-Breakdance vampires?
280
00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:22,604
No, I think they're
Fame the movie vampires,
281
00:13:22,771 --> 00:13:25,105
or Fame the TV show vampires.
282
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:29,109
And the space suit fella
must represent MTV or something.
283
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,746
Then what's with
the riverboat gambler guy?
284
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,548
[Colin] They lost me there.
I have no clue.
285
00:13:33,715 --> 00:13:35,617
You killed Jerry the vampire.
286
00:13:35,784 --> 00:13:38,285
No, no. That was done
by a random monster.
287
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:39,554
-Shazam!
-[The Guide] Uh-oh.
288
00:13:39,721 --> 00:13:41,756
-Five, six, seven, eight.
-[The Guide] No!
289
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,658
-[♪ "Planet Rock" plays]
-[Nandor] What's this shit?
290
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,627
-[The Guide] Ooh!
-[Nadja] Oh! Okay.
291
00:13:45,794 --> 00:13:48,195
They're twinkle-toe vampires.
I got this.
292
00:13:49,463 --> 00:13:50,699
[Nadja laughs]
293
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,634
Have you ever seen feet move
at this medium pace?
294
00:13:52,801 --> 00:13:54,536
-[Laszlo] All right.
-[Nandor] That's
a nice one. Aha!
295
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,136
[The Guide] Oh.
296
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,305
-[Laszlo] Fuck off. [hisses]
-[Colin] Wow.
297
00:13:58,472 --> 00:14:00,542
-[The Guide] It's really good.
-[Nandor] Not bad.
298
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,376
-Oh...
-[Laszlo] Fuck this shit.
299
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:05,045
-[vampires grunt]
-[The Guide] What? What?
300
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:06,815
-[Colin] Okay.
-[Nadja] What the fuck?
301
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,215
-[air hissing]
-[groaning]
302
00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:09,617
[Nadja] Fuck, Laszlo!
303
00:14:09,784 --> 00:14:11,251
[Colin] They really weren't
that threatening.
304
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,787
-[Nadja] You idiot.
-[Laszlo giggles]
305
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,189
-[gambler vampire groans]
-[Colin] Well, he's dead.
306
00:14:15,356 --> 00:14:16,924
-[Nandor] Full house.
-I was handling it.
307
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:18,158
-Sorry.
-[Nadja groans]
308
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,694
Let's just keep moving,
all right?
309
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,095
We'll get above ground...
310
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,564
-Okay.
-...so Guillermo can find us.
311
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:24,331
-[Nandor] Good idea.
-[Nadja] Whatever.
312
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,500
[Nandor] You know,
I really like it
when you take charge.
313
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,539
-[tires squealing]
-[Miguel] No, no, no.
314
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:33,374
Don't worry about the address.
I'll text when I get it.
315
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:36,043
Just gather 'em up.
Keep your phone on,
all right? All right.
316
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,846
-[phone beeps]
-Who was that?
317
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,880
-Some friends.
In case we need backup.
-[Guillermo] Backup?
318
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,717
You said your friends are gonna
get killed. I don't know
what's gonna happen.
319
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:44,552
-Where are they, man?
-I don't know, okay?
320
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:47,221
Colin lost his location,
so maybe he lost reception.
321
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:50,257
-I can try calling again.
I don't know.
-Are these people even real?
322
00:14:50,424 --> 00:14:52,393
Are you kidding me right now?
Yes, they're real.
323
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,229
-Why would I be doing this
if they're not real?
-I just had to check.
324
00:14:55,396 --> 00:14:58,098
-Had to check?
They're real, okay? Don't worry.
-You're acting crazy.
325
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,968
They're my friends,
and they're vampires,
so there's that.
326
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:03,203
-Did you just say
they're vampires?
-Yeah.
327
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,938
Actually, you met one of them.
328
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:06,940
-What?
-Yeah, but you attacked her.
329
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,108
-[Miguel] The fuck?
-You attacked her.
330
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,778
I would remember
something like that.
331
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,713
How could you?
She hypnotized you.
332
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:12,946
How you gonna remember, hmm?
333
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,188
-You know what?
Let's just keep driving.
-Yeah, let's keep driving.
334
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,624
-[phone rings]
-[Guillermo] Oh, it's Colin.
335
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,693
Hey, hey. Hi, Colin.
Where are you?
336
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,062
[Colin] Okey dokey.
337
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:32,600
I just got off the phone
with Gizmo
338
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:35,603
and gave him...
[grunting] ...our locash.
339
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:37,304
You know, Laszlo,
340
00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:40,575
I had
those dancing vampire freaks
in the palm of my hands.
341
00:15:40,742 --> 00:15:44,679
I do not need you
or your stupid monster
to protect me.
342
00:15:44,846 --> 00:15:46,280
Is that what you think?
343
00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:52,352
My darling, I did not train
my monster to protect you
344
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,923
because I thought
you could not live without me.
345
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,525
I trained that monster
346
00:15:58,192 --> 00:16:00,394
because I cannot live
without you.
347
00:16:02,864 --> 00:16:04,164
Laszlo,
348
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:07,034
I cannot live without you.
349
00:16:07,201 --> 00:16:10,905
But if something
was to happen to you
and I was to lose you,
350
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,675
it wouldn't be your protection
I would miss.
351
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,309
It would be you.
352
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:18,813
Your looks, the layers
in your hairs. Your wit.
353
00:16:19,514 --> 00:16:22,983
And the way you use
that extremely large hog.
354
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,520
And that cannot be taught.
355
00:16:25,687 --> 00:16:27,187
-[giggling] No, it can't.
-[Nadja laughs]
356
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:28,656
[Laszlo laughs]
357
00:16:28,823 --> 00:16:30,357
Aw. They're being sweet again.
358
00:16:31,559 --> 00:16:32,660
-Yes.
-[Nadja] The way that...
359
00:16:32,827 --> 00:16:34,596
Kinda makes you think,
doesn't it?
360
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:37,064
Think about what?
361
00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:39,266
Well, isn't it obvious?
362
00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:43,972
I have been searching for love
for so very long,
363
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,140
and it was right here
the whole time.
364
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,943
Right under my nose.
365
00:16:50,578 --> 00:16:52,045
In front of my nose.
366
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,984
-Me?
-You.
367
00:16:57,785 --> 00:16:59,554
[groans] Ugh.
368
00:16:59,721 --> 00:17:01,689
-So, I've watched
your search for love.
-Mm-hmm.
369
00:17:01,856 --> 00:17:03,858
This one, that one.
370
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,425
-Your dead wife.
-Yes.
371
00:17:05,627 --> 00:17:07,762
-Guillermo's boyfriend.
-Freddie.
372
00:17:07,962 --> 00:17:11,733
Gail. I mean, basically, anyone
and everyone who wasn't me.
373
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,334
And I've seen
after you won their hearts.
374
00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:16,036
It all falls apart.
375
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:20,508
Because you're all about
the conquest, not the victory.
376
00:17:20,675 --> 00:17:23,845
You're a good friend,
but you will never have me.
377
00:17:24,746 --> 00:17:25,547
Ever.
378
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,116
Sorry, could you
run that by me again?
379
00:17:29,283 --> 00:17:30,885
[chuckles]
I completely zoned out.
380
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:34,321
I got ever so lost in those big,
381
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,858
-beautiful blue eyes of yours.
-[hinge creaking]
382
00:17:37,025 --> 00:17:39,092
[The Guide] I said
you'll never have me.
383
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,195
I have a little bit
of self-respect.
A little... [chuckling] ...bit.
384
00:17:42,764 --> 00:17:44,666
-[Nandor] I just feel
so ready for love.
-Okay.
385
00:17:44,799 --> 00:17:46,935
-Mmm... Wait a minute.
What is that?
-Hey.
386
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,703
-[Nadja] Laszlo.
-[Laszlo] Oh, shit.
387
00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:51,573
-[Nandor] What the fuck?
-[Laszlo] Graveyard vampires.
388
00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:54,074
-[graveyard vampires hissing]
-Well, you hang out
in a graveyard,
389
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,743
you can expect
spooky crap like this.
390
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,879
[Nadja] Oh, bloody fuck.
391
00:17:58,046 --> 00:17:59,581
-[Nandor] Should we...
-There's too many of them.
392
00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:01,716
-Run while you can.
-Yes, yes. Come on, Laszlo.
393
00:18:01,883 --> 00:18:02,817
-[Nandor] This way.
-Yes.
394
00:18:02,984 --> 00:18:04,084
Come on,
you skull fucks. [shouts]
395
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,252
[snarling]
396
00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:08,990
[Nandor] Here.
Quick! Shit. Shit.
397
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,559
-[all hissing and growling]
-[Laszlo] Come on,
do your worst.
398
00:18:11,726 --> 00:18:13,795
Fucking hell. Ah!
399
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,897
-[hisses]
-[cameraman] No, no, no! Wait!
400
00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:18,533
No. Fuck off.
401
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:21,603
[Laszlo] Ah! I see you know
your judo well.
402
00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:23,972
-Laszlo!
-It's all right, my darling.
I'll be right there.
403
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,574
I'm coming!
Hang your cape on that.
404
00:18:26,741 --> 00:18:28,308
[Laszlo] Get your hands off me.
405
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:31,079
[grunts] Get out,
you motherfucker!
406
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:34,082
-[The Guide] Ooh.
-[Nandor stammers]
407
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,953
Nadja!
There's some over here too.
408
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,889
[Nadja] All right. Who's next?
I can do this all night long.
409
00:18:42,924 --> 00:18:44,291
[Nadja grunts]
410
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,628
-[Nandor groans] Fuck off.
-[The Guide] Oh.
411
00:18:46,794 --> 00:18:48,796
-[Laszlo] Help me up. [grunts]
-[Nandor] Laszlo.
412
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,265
-Where's my wife?
-She's over there.
413
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,335
-[Nadja] Okay.
Very good aim. Wow!
-[Laszlo chuckles]
414
00:18:55,937 --> 00:18:57,772
Look at my gruesome girl go.
415
00:18:57,939 --> 00:19:00,173
It's like front row
at a Gallagher show.
416
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,609
[Nandor] I think
maybe he's dead?
417
00:19:01,776 --> 00:19:04,344
I will say when he's dead.
418
00:19:04,512 --> 00:19:07,481
Very impressive. But I think
there might be more vampires
on the way.
419
00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:09,316
-Perhaps we should
get out of here.
-In a minute!
420
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:10,317
Okay.
421
00:19:12,787 --> 00:19:14,622
[sighs] Now we can go.
422
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,125
[Nandor] Great. Let's do that.
423
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,200
[Nadja sighs]
424
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,336
-Do you want a straw?
-Nope.
425
00:19:29,504 --> 00:19:32,339
You think that maybe we
should order coffee drinks--
thank you--
426
00:19:32,507 --> 00:19:33,841
so we don't look like
a bunch of vampires
427
00:19:34,008 --> 00:19:36,010
sat around waiting for
our familiar to save us?
428
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,047
We can all be here without
everyone ordering coffee.
429
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,281
And we can stay at the table
as long as we want.
430
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,551
And when it comes
to the bathrooms,
431
00:19:43,718 --> 00:19:45,687
-legally, it's Thunderdome.
-[Guillermo] Hey.
432
00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:47,055
-[The Guide] Guillermo!
-[Nandor] Guillermo.
433
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,023
-[Nadja] Finally.
-[Colin] Hey, Gomez.
434
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,958
-You took your sweet time.
-Nadja, you all right?
You have a little--
435
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:53,260
Yeah, covered, uh,
in brain and blood and guts.
436
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,328
Yes. Thank you for noticing.
437
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,832
So, uh, your vampire friends,
they hang out at coffee shops?
[chuckles]
438
00:19:57,999 --> 00:20:00,635
Hey, look, no offense.
I love the costumes, man.
439
00:20:00,802 --> 00:20:03,137
You turn your mom's rug
into a dress?
That's pretty cool. [chuckles]
440
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,139
But, uh, you guys
really think you're vampires?
441
00:20:06,574 --> 00:20:08,576
[Guillermo] No, Nandor.
Don't hurt him.
That's my cousin, Miguel.
442
00:20:08,743 --> 00:20:10,745
-[laughs]
-No kidding.
443
00:20:10,912 --> 00:20:13,915
So you are the famous Miguel.
We have heard lots about you.
444
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,683
[breathing shakily]
What the fuck?
445
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:18,186
Guillermo tells us
you're very tough and very cool
446
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,855
and once locked him
in a cupboard for six hours.
447
00:20:21,022 --> 00:20:22,890
-Put it there.
-Don't need to fist bump
on that.
448
00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:25,358
Sorry about that.
Let's straighten that for you.
449
00:20:25,526 --> 00:20:27,260
-You guys kill people?
-No shit, Kojak.
450
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,362
Chillax, Miguel.
451
00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:31,431
'Cause a member
of Guillermo's family
is a member of our family.
452
00:20:31,599 --> 00:20:32,967
-Right, guys?
-[Laszlo] Right.
453
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:35,169
-"Vamilia."
-Nadnor! I have a Nadnor.
454
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,672
Is that for you, Nandor?
455
00:20:37,805 --> 00:20:40,007
No, she is calling someone
called Nadnor. Also, I have
not ordered anything, so--
456
00:20:40,174 --> 00:20:44,712
-I have one roundhouse kick
for a Nandor.
-Yes. I am Nan--
457
00:20:44,879 --> 00:20:46,279
[grunts, hisses]
458
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,016
How quaint. A barista vampire.
459
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:51,986
We're not barista vampires.
We're artist and writer vampires
460
00:20:52,186 --> 00:20:54,956
who happen to currently
be working as baristas.
461
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:57,357
-And graphic designer vampires.
-[hisses]
462
00:20:57,491 --> 00:20:59,193
-Hi. I'm Cass.
-Hi, Cass.
463
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,462
-Personal essayist vampire
Louis here.
-[hisses]
464
00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:04,799
-Got a shot for Nandor.
-Oh, that's me. Yes.
465
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,901
-[Laszlo laughs]
-Fucking guy.
466
00:21:07,068 --> 00:21:08,903
My mistake.
That was supposed to be
a double shot.
467
00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:09,971
[Miguel growls]
468
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:12,206
Whoa. Oh, shit.
469
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,041
Oh, I forgot to mention.
You have Van Helsing blood
running through you.
470
00:21:14,175 --> 00:21:16,443
-What?
-It's a long story.
I'll tell you later, okay?
471
00:21:16,611 --> 00:21:17,545
[Guillermo grunts]
472
00:21:17,712 --> 00:21:20,681
[all grunts, hissing]
473
00:21:20,882 --> 00:21:21,883
[Laszlo] Bat.
474
00:21:23,718 --> 00:21:26,587
Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
It's because I said
the word "bat."
475
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,825
-And I've done it again.
I meant to say--
-[Guillermo] Miguel.
476
00:21:32,894 --> 00:21:33,728
Should we get involved?
477
00:21:34,929 --> 00:21:37,799
You know, I forgot
how scrappy Gizmo can be
478
00:21:37,965 --> 00:21:39,432
when he gets a bit of a bee
in his bonnet.
479
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,968
[Guillermo] Ooh.
480
00:21:41,135 --> 00:21:42,937
-[Miguel] Steam.
-[screaming]
481
00:21:43,104 --> 00:21:44,105
"Vampuccino."
482
00:21:44,272 --> 00:21:45,506
I will fucking kill you.
483
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,946
Ah! Ooh. Very good.
484
00:21:52,113 --> 00:21:53,014
[Miguel grunts]
485
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:54,347
[barista vampire groans]
486
00:21:54,515 --> 00:21:56,851
[Colin] Almost there.
Keep reaching, Gizmo.
487
00:21:57,018 --> 00:21:58,953
-[Guillermo grunts]
-[Louis growls, grunts]
488
00:21:59,887 --> 00:22:01,689
-[Guillermo grunts]
-[Laszlo] Nice shot.
489
00:22:01,856 --> 00:22:03,891
-Ooh. Dead. Very good.
-[The Guide] Guillermo.
490
00:22:04,091 --> 00:22:05,293
-We should go.
-[Nadja] Yes.
491
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,195
-[engines roaring]
-[Laszlo] What the fuck is that?
492
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,063
Just some homeys of mine.
I called them in case
we were outnumbered.
493
00:22:09,263 --> 00:22:13,167
[Miguel]
Here they come. Hell yeah!
Donnie brought the Spyder.
494
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,503
-[Laszlo] Fancy a ride,
my darling?
-[The Guide] Hello.
495
00:22:15,670 --> 00:22:16,804
[Guillermo] We gotta go.
496
00:22:16,971 --> 00:22:18,371
[Colin] This one?
Hold on, hold on.
497
00:22:18,539 --> 00:22:20,608
-[Miguel] Get in, man.
-[Nadja] Colin Robinson!
498
00:22:20,775 --> 00:22:22,109
Let's go. We have to go.
499
00:22:23,644 --> 00:22:25,313
[Nandor] I don't want to get
my cape caught.
500
00:22:33,054 --> 00:22:34,322
[Nandor] Ah.
501
00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:35,790
-[Nadja] Oh, home.
-[Laszlo] Oh, yes.
502
00:22:35,957 --> 00:22:36,991
-[Nadja] We're home.
-[Colin] Ooh, doggy.
503
00:22:37,158 --> 00:22:39,193
-[Nadja sighs] Baron?
-Well, well, well.
504
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:40,561
[The Guide] You're okay!
505
00:22:40,728 --> 00:22:41,863
Look who came home!
506
00:22:42,029 --> 00:22:44,298
Baron, how did you
get back so fast?
507
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:49,070
Did you know that Staten Island
has an above-ground train?
508
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,172
-It's actually quite pleasant.
-[Nandor] Hey...
509
00:22:51,339 --> 00:22:56,210
And it gave me a chance
to open up that Louise Penny
I have on audiobook.
510
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,246
-Love her.
-[Baron] She's okay.
But a quick question.
511
00:22:59,180 --> 00:23:01,082
What the hell were you thinking?
512
00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:03,483
Why did you kill
Jerry the Vampire?
513
00:23:03,618 --> 00:23:07,922
B-Because, Baron,
Jerry was a huge threat
to your almighty power.
514
00:23:08,089 --> 00:23:09,223
Yes.
515
00:23:09,857 --> 00:23:12,193
Which is why I wanted
to kill him myself
516
00:23:13,227 --> 00:23:14,862
in front of everyone
517
00:23:15,029 --> 00:23:17,397
to reassert my power.
518
00:23:17,565 --> 00:23:19,567
Do you honestly think
that I did not know
519
00:23:19,734 --> 00:23:21,702
this insipid gathering
was a trap?
520
00:23:21,869 --> 00:23:23,271
-[gasps]
-You knew?
521
00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:25,072
[Baron] Of course I knew.
522
00:23:25,239 --> 00:23:28,242
I didn't know Jerry
was the enemy, Baron.
523
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:31,879
But that is no excuse.
I have dishonored myself.
524
00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:35,683
But even worse,
I have dishonored you.
525
00:23:35,816 --> 00:23:38,252
I will now take my own life.
526
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,122
-No. No!
-[The Guide whimpers]
No, let me--
527
00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:43,557
-[Nandor] I will not. [grunts]
-[Colin] Let her.
528
00:23:43,724 --> 00:23:46,493
-Baron, take my life instead.
-[Colin] Do it.
529
00:23:46,694 --> 00:23:49,462
-[Nadja] Huh.
-Hold on here.
Are you two a thing?
530
00:23:49,630 --> 00:23:51,666
-No. Not at all.
-It's early days.
531
00:23:51,866 --> 00:23:54,902
-Get up. We're going to run out
of vampires at this rate.
-[monster growling]
532
00:23:55,069 --> 00:23:56,904
-[Laszlo] What the blazes?
-[all scream]
533
00:23:57,071 --> 00:23:59,106
-[monster grunts, growls]
-[Nadja gasps]
534
00:23:59,273 --> 00:24:00,942
-[Nandor mumbles]
-Gift.
535
00:24:01,108 --> 00:24:03,611
[Nadja] Oh.
Jerry's crushed head. Thank you.
536
00:24:03,778 --> 00:24:05,579
-Very nice.
-[giggles]
537
00:24:05,746 --> 00:24:07,782
-You can just
lay that down there.
-[monster grunts]
538
00:24:07,949 --> 00:24:10,551
I will find
somewhere lovely for it later.
539
00:24:10,685 --> 00:24:12,586
-Now, we all have
much organizing...
-Good job.
540
00:24:12,753 --> 00:24:14,388
...to do for tomorrow evening.
541
00:24:14,522 --> 00:24:16,724
To set this right.
542
00:24:16,891 --> 00:24:19,327
[Baron] Here we are again.
543
00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:22,495
Jerry tried to tear us apart.
544
00:24:22,663 --> 00:24:25,498
But we, unlike Jerry,
545
00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:28,235
will work as one.
546
00:24:28,369 --> 00:24:30,504
-[Laszlo, Nandor, Nandor] Yes.
-[Baron] For it will
take all of us,
547
00:24:30,671 --> 00:24:33,274
all vampires,
548
00:24:33,441 --> 00:24:36,344
to bring the humans
of this new world
549
00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:39,479
under our dominion.
550
00:24:39,647 --> 00:24:42,316
-[vampires] Yes!
-Any questions?
551
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,551
[vampires murmuring]
552
00:24:43,751 --> 00:24:45,186
-Ah.
-[monster growling]
553
00:24:45,353 --> 00:24:47,588
[grunts]
554
00:24:47,722 --> 00:24:51,359
[vampires gasping, clamoring]
555
00:24:51,525 --> 00:24:54,362
Okay. Anybody else? Let's see.
There was someone...
556
00:24:54,528 --> 00:24:55,596
Ah. You.
557
00:24:55,763 --> 00:24:56,931
[monster growls]
558
00:24:57,064 --> 00:24:58,466
[Baron] Did you have a question?
559
00:25:00,167 --> 00:25:01,869
-Uh, nope.
-[Baron] Are you sure?
560
00:25:02,036 --> 00:25:04,472
Because I thought I saw
your hand go up.
561
00:25:04,638 --> 00:25:06,640
[growls]
562
00:25:06,807 --> 00:25:09,477
I thought I had a--
had a question,
but then y-you answered it.
563
00:25:10,478 --> 00:25:12,013
Just as I thought.
564
00:25:12,179 --> 00:25:13,214
[growls]
565
00:25:14,515 --> 00:25:15,750
Vampires dismissed.
566
00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:17,651
-[vampires murmuring]
-[monster snarks]
567
00:25:17,818 --> 00:25:19,220
[Baron] Two nights out in a row.
568
00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:21,555
The Sire's never gonna
let me hear the end of this.
569
00:25:21,722 --> 00:25:24,091
[♪ "Nowhere to Run" plays]
570
00:25:24,291 --> 00:25:27,628
♪ Nowhere to run to, baby ♪
571
00:25:27,762 --> 00:25:29,196
♪ Nowhere to hide ♪
572
00:25:30,664 --> 00:25:34,201
♪ I got nowhereTo run to, baby ♪
573
00:25:34,869 --> 00:25:36,904
♪ Nowhere to hide, no ♪
574
00:25:37,506 --> 00:25:40,574
♪ That's not loveThat I'm running from ♪
575
00:25:41,242 --> 00:25:43,878
♪ It's the heartacheI know will come ♪
576
00:25:44,513 --> 00:25:47,681
-♪ 'Cause I knowYou're no good for me ♪
-♪ You're no good ♪
577
00:25:47,882 --> 00:25:50,351
♪ But you've becomeA part of me ♪
578
00:25:50,551 --> 00:25:53,854
♪ Everywhere that I goYour face I see ♪
579
00:25:54,055 --> 00:25:58,459
♪ Every step that I takeYou take with me, yeah ♪
580
00:25:58,659 --> 00:26:01,662
♪ Nowhere to run to, baby ♪
581
00:26:01,862 --> 00:26:04,565
♪ Nowhere to hide, no ♪
582
00:26:04,765 --> 00:26:08,636
♪ I got nowhereTo run to, baby ♪
583
00:26:08,836 --> 00:26:10,204
♪ Nowhere to hide ♪
584
00:26:10,404 --> 00:26:11,540
♪ Nowhere to run ♪
585
00:26:11,739 --> 00:26:13,741
♪ No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
586
00:26:13,941 --> 00:26:14,742
♪ Ow! ♪
47570
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof