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1
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[theme music]
2
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,642
- Hey.
- Oh, Zack,
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,545
I've come up with the perfect way
for you to get Kelly back -- a poem!
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,647
- Uh, Screech, I don't think--
- Kelly, you're the girl for me.
5
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,449
Your lips are as red
as cranberry.
6
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:17,284
Your hair is brown and
your teeth are white.
7
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,686
Your feet smell like
a summer's night.
8
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,890
Well, what do you think?
9
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,124
Oh, I'm sorry.
10
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:27,694
I couldn't hear you over the sound of
Robert Frost screaming in his grave.
11
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,663
Fine.
Fine then.
12
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,065
I just won't read you the part
about her nose hair.
13
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,501
Listen, Screech,
thanks for trying,
14
00:00:34,554 --> 00:00:36,212
but I've already come
up with a perfect stunt
15
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:39,339
to get Kelly's mind off of
Professor Lasky and back onto me.
16
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,541
KELLY (OFFSCREEN): Come in.
17
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,210
Hey.
18
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,179
Hey, Zack.
What's going on?
19
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,381
Uh, nothing yet.
20
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:50,918
Oh, wow.
21
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:52,619
Want to see something special?
22
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,291
Oh, that's not special.
23
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,692
That's Pops, the security guard.
24
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,861
He's always got his binoculars
on our window.
25
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,396
No, not him.
26
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:03,797
That.
27
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:12,906
I heart Kelly?
28
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,243
I believe that heart stands
for love, Kelly.
29
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,178
Haven't you ever played
Concentration?
30
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,149
I love Kelly.
How sweet!
31
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,750
Do you realize what this means?
32
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,220
Yup. It means someone
is trying to show you
33
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,955
how much he loves you.
34
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,457
And I'm going to show that
someone how much I love him.
35
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,594
Well, you just go
ahead, show away.
36
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,562
Where you going?
37
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,531
Well, to see Professor Lasky.
38
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:40,033
I mean, he obviously
changed his mind about us
39
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:43,070
and came up with that
adorable way of telling me.
40
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:47,007
Kelly, did I mention you're
the girl for me?
41
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,443
Your lips are as red
as cranberry.
42
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,879
What am I doing?
43
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:58,385
♪ I'm standing
at the edge of tomorrow, ♪
44
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,688
♪ and it's all up to
me how far I go ♪
45
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,658
♪ I'm standing at the
edge of tomorrow ♪
46
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:08,228
♪ I've never seen
such a view before, ♪
47
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,365
♪ a new world before my eyes ♪
48
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,568
♪ So much for me to explore ♪
49
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,937
♪ It's where my future lies ♪
50
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:20,474
♪ Today, I'm standing at
the edge of tomorrow ♪
51
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,243
♪ From here, the future
looks bright for me ♪
52
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:26,647
♪ And it's all up to
me how far I go ♪
53
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,783
♪ It's my time to break away ♪
54
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:33,921
♪ I'm standing at the edge
of tomorrow today ♪
55
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,994
Alex, you'll never guess the
wonderful thing Jeremiah did.
56
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,896
Kelly, Jeremiah didn't do it.
57
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,031
I did.
58
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,165
You?
59
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,301
Zack, why would you do
something so ridiculous?
60
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:48,468
Ridiculous?
61
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,737
When you thought it was Lasky,
you said it was adorable.
62
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,039
Well, that's different!
63
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,473
Whoa, whoa, whoa, time out.
64
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:56,076
Now, you both need to calm down
and take a deep breath.
65
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,145
And fill me in so I
can take a side.
66
00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,880
All right.
67
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,282
Well, I wanted to show
Kelly how I feel about her,
68
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:05,185
so I hired a plane with a
banner that said, "I love Kelly."
69
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,054
Cost 400 bucks.
70
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,823
400 bucks?
71
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,792
Man, that's a lot of feeling.
72
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,594
Are you nuts?
73
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,462
He's not nuts.
He's just romantic.
74
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,030
Take a hint!
75
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,833
Zack, look.
It was a really nice gesture,
76
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,102
but I wish you wouldn't
waste your money on me.
77
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,339
I wish for once you'd waste
your money on me.
78
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,408
Hey, I took you to the Sizzler.
79
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:30,611
Yeah, great.
80
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,779
We had to dress up
like the Golden Girls
81
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,315
so we could get the
senior citizen discount.
82
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:39,653
Well, that didn't stop you
from eating 300 shrimp, did it?
83
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,121
[giggles]
84
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,623
Look, I can't talk
about this now.
85
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,991
I've got to get to the
health center.
86
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:45,525
Yeah, and I've got to get
to wrestling practice.
87
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,260
How come all you do
lately is work?
88
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,363
How come all you do
lately is wrestle?
89
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,365
It takes my mind
off of Jeremiah.
90
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:53,634
Uh, mine too.
91
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,113
Professor Lasky.
92
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,783
I hope you're not drinking
and driving.
93
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,251
You mean all this milk?
94
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,788
No. It's just ever
since that-- that, uh,
95
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,158
thing with Kelly, my
ulcer's been acting up.
96
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:19,459
I'm so sorry.
97
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,395
I wish there was something
I could do.
98
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,630
Listen, can I come by your
office around 3:00?
99
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,865
No!
100
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,100
No females are allowed
in my office.
101
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,503
Well, it's nothing personal.
102
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,772
I just wanted to discuss
the reading assignment.
103
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,740
[sigh]
I'm sorry.
104
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,042
I'm overreacting.
105
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,576
Of course we can meet.
106
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,178
So I'll be at your
office at 3:00?
107
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,880
No. I'll see you
on the football field.
108
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,382
Just you, me, and the
marching band.
109
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:48,021
See that?
That's a sigma alpha tattoo.
110
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,723
All the pledges are
getting them.
111
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:50,724
Really?
112
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,225
Well, I'd like to get one, Bill,
113
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,161
but I've got such
delicate skin.
114
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,763
I have to moisturize twice
a day, you know.
115
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,066
There's a picture.
116
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,434
Look, Screech.
117
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,235
I-- if you don't get
one of those tattoos,
118
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,571
all the guys at the frat are
going to think that you're a wimp.
119
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,373
And if I get one, they'll
think I'm cool?
120
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,809
Well, no.
121
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,079
Will they at least stop hanging
me out the window by my ankles?
122
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,080
Sure.
123
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,414
Except, of course, at parties.
124
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,450
Well, of course at parties.
125
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,821
Alex! Alex.
126
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,289
You'll never believe this,
127
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,826
but that guy is trying to talk
Screech into getting a tattoo.
128
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,561
Tattoos!
129
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,496
That's what we'll do.
130
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,098
What's what we'll do?
131
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:35,435
I'll get a Slater tattoo on me, and
you can get an Alex tattoo on you.
132
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:36,470
Oh.
133
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:40,073
But tattoos are so permanent.
134
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,209
And we're not?
135
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,410
No.
136
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,946
Alex, look.
I'm committed to you,
137
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,382
and I know nothing says love
like a hideous, disfiguring mark,
138
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:53,487
but what do you say we
get ID bracelets instead?
139
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:54,955
Great idea, Slater.
140
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,590
And after that, we
can go to the malt shop
141
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,693
and split a sundae with
Potsie and Ralph Malph.
142
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:13,173
Kelly, I'd like you
to have these.
143
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,842
Zack, these belong to
the patient in 214.
144
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,978
Eh, the guy's in a coma.
145
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,780
Like he can smell them.
146
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,215
Why did you take this
job, anyway?
147
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,684
Well, because I'm devoted to
helping the sick and injured.
148
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:25,852
Well, good.
149
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,822
Then take this bedpan to
Mrs. Johnson in 201.
150
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,158
Right away, ma'am.
151
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:36,129
Well, Mrs. Johnson better not
drink too much coffee.
152
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:40,433
Orderly, would you let the staff
know I'm here for my flu shot?
153
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,068
Oh, Dean McMann.
154
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,603
Oh, Mr. Morris.
155
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,372
What are you doing here?
156
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,207
- I work here.
- Oh, really?
157
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,675
What's your angle?
158
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:53,046
Is there some poor girl in a body
cast you're trying to take advantage of?
159
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,645
Excuse me, ma'am, but I care
deeply for the patients here.
160
00:06:56,691 --> 00:06:57,520
Oh.
161
00:06:57,575 --> 00:06:59,219
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Orderly, I need some help!
162
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,888
Eh, keep your gown on.
I'll be there in a minute.
163
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,592
Nurse Gruen, would you mind
giving Dean McMann here her flu shot?
164
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,594
Uh, in fact, give her two.
165
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:08,929
Come with me.
166
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,263
You're going to give me my shot?
167
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,698
Have you ever done this before?
168
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,066
Once.
169
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,736
Zack, you know, I'm really touched
that you're working at a place
170
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,672
that you hate just
to be close to me.
171
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,007
Well, I'm touched that
you're touched.
172
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,475
And since we're both so touched,
173
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,344
maybe we should both
be touching.
174
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,213
Zack, you never change.
175
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,048
Why? Do you want
me to be different?
176
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,183
No, I didn't say that.
177
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,586
Look, my shift ends
at 8 o'clock.
178
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,787
And then maybe we could--
179
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,189
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Stand back! I've got a sick man here.
180
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,258
- What?
- Oh, Jeremiah!
181
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,993
Well, forget him!
You were saying--
182
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,429
- Jeremiah, I'm here. What's wrong?
- It's my ulcer.
183
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,264
I've had a lot of aggravation
lately.
184
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,599
Because of me?
185
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,033
Oh, no, no, no.
186
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,169
There's hundreds of factors
that led up to--
187
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,671
well, yeah.
Mostly you.
188
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,540
Oh. [laughs] Oh!
189
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,609
Uh, well, what are
your symptoms?
190
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,445
Nausea, intense stomach
cramps, blinding pain.
191
00:07:58,545 --> 00:07:59,813
That's all?
192
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,950
Can you believe this?
193
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,119
Some guys have all the luck.
194
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,132
Oh, is Jeremiah--
195
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,167
I mean, uh, Professor
Lasky all right?
196
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,335
He's doing better.
197
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,271
He just has a bad case
of gastroenteritis.
198
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:25,372
He'll live.
199
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:28,575
So Kelly, you were saying that you
get off at 8:00, and then you and I can--
200
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,210
Is that condition
stress related?
201
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,211
Yes.
202
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:34,014
Which is why it's important you
keep Professor Lasky calm.
203
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,783
No excitement whatsoever, and
he needs plenty of water.
204
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,618
Lots of water.
Got it.
205
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,786
Uh, Kelly.
206
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,588
Maybe I'd better take
the water to Lasky.
207
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,890
Remember, he can't have
any excitement.
208
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,225
I'm not going to excite him.
209
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,293
Oh, Kelly.
210
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:47,694
When you walked past the morgue,
211
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,430
four stiffs sat up and
splashed on Old Spice.
212
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,600
Trust me.
You are going to excite him.
213
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,502
Zack, when I put
on this uniform,
214
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,538
Kelly Kapowski the woman
changes into Kelly Kapowski
215
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:01,207
the trained professional
health care worker.
216
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,077
Besides, I'm head orderly.
217
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,583
- Aah!
- Oh! Oh!
218
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,719
I've got some water for you.
219
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,921
Ice water. Yes.
Thank you very much.
220
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,158
Oh, I'm sorry. Let's get
you out of that wet gown.
221
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,294
Y-you know, that sounds like
a job for a male orderly.
222
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,196
Hello!
223
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,066
One male orderly at
your service.
224
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,734
Oh, don't be silly.
I'm a professional.
225
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,102
I do this sort of thing
all the time.
226
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,904
- Well, you're not doing it this time.
- Zack, don't you--
227
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,506
INTERCOM: I need an orderly
at the front desk, stat.
228
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,175
Zack, you have to
answer that page.
229
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,677
- Ha! Why can't you?
- Because I'm head orderly.
230
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,145
Now go.
231
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,982
(MOCKINGLY) Because
I'm head orderly.
232
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,752
No wonder we need
health care reform.
233
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,420
Ah, what is it?
234
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,357
You have an impeccable
bedside manner.
235
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,926
Who trained you,
Dr. Kevorkian?
236
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,696
Uh, Dean McMann is having a
bad reaction to the flu shot.
237
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,999
Take her to the lab for a
complete blood work up.
238
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,433
[groaning]
239
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:04,437
Well, looking kind
of green, Dean.
240
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,340
Just shut up and push.
241
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,242
KELLY (OFFSCREEN) (GIGGLING):
Jeremiah, that gown is
242
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,011
supposed to be tied in the back.
243
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,512
Uh, excuse me, Dean.
244
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,848
We have a severe case of
overexposure in there.
245
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,117
Don't forget to make a hard
right at the water fountain!
246
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,619
MCMANN (OFFSCREEN) (SCREAMING):
Mr. Morris!
247
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,689
[crashing sounds]
248
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,527
Ooh.
249
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,762
Ow.
250
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,997
Ow, these tattoos really hurt!
251
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:34,134
Screech, I'm using
a felt tipped pen.
252
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,371
I know, but you're
pressing so hard.
253
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,941
There.
All done.
254
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,346
Wow, that looks real.
255
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,914
And I look cool.
256
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,449
Super cool!
257
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,117
Thanks, babe.
258
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,655
Hey, guys.
259
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,392
Notice anything a little
different about me?
260
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:00,760
A tattoo?
261
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,595
Whoa!
Was it painful?
262
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:04,764
Hey, it was even worse than
that time I got my head caught
263
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,033
between the steering
wheel and the club.
264
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,371
But a real man like
me can take it.
265
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,606
What he's saying is
a real man isn't afraid
266
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,209
to show that he's
committed to something,
267
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,978
unlike somebody else I know.
268
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,884
Professor Lasky has
a mild fever.
269
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,586
See to it he gets a sponge bath.
270
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:30,023
- Right away, doctor.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. A sponge bath?
271
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,024
Ha ha!
272
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:33,426
This Dr. Wong does not know
what she's talking about.
273
00:11:33,525 --> 00:11:36,096
I mean, Dr. Lasky could
get a chill, get pneumonia,
274
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,363
and then go into shock.
275
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:40,733
And before you know it, you've got
another sponge bath related fatality.
276
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,369
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Whew.
277
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,605
- Zack, you're nuts.
- Hey, hey, hey.
278
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,907
My uncle Harry died from that.
279
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:49,809
Now, you want that on
your conscience?
280
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:53,179
Zack, your uncle Harry
is in jail in Texas.
281
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,181
Right. Right.
282
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:57,450
Where he's getting sponge
bathed against his will.
283
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:58,952
[buzzer]
284
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,187
That's the dean. You'd
better go see what she wants.
285
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,388
[buzzer]
286
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,425
(GROANING) Hold your horses,
you old battle--
287
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,227
(CHEERFUL) afternoon, Dean!
288
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:11,698
Gerald, I don't care how
kicky the students think it is.
289
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,301
We are going to have a female
homecoming queen.
290
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,405
I have been waiting for hours
for fresh bed linen.
291
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,007
Ah, yes.
Fresh bed linen.
292
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,108
Right.
293
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,044
Gerald, I don't care how
cute he is in a dress.
294
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,447
I want a female!
295
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:30,049
Here you go.
296
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,819
And don't forget, hospital
corners.
297
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,759
Oh, whoa.
I'll take over for you, Kell.
298
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,161
[buzzer]
299
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,829
That non-stop buzz.
300
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,430
Must be Dean McMann again.
301
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,965
[buzzer]
302
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,300
I didn't hear anything.
303
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,504
MCMANN (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Morris,
get your incompetent behind in here!
304
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,542
And she wonders why she
hasn't gotten any get well cards.
305
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,978
Oh, what I'd-- [grunt]
306
00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:00,680
[deep breath]
307
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,517
What is it now, Dean?
308
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:05,852
Bed linen.
309
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,520
I want it changed.
310
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,189
By you.
311
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,124
Listen, please. Can't
you just wait five minutes?
312
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:12,825
I have an emergency
in the next room.
313
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,128
Well, far be it from me to
keep you from brain surgery,
314
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,230
but I've got wrinkles
everywhere.
315
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:20,166
I am an orderly, not
a plastic surgeon!
316
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:25,071
I'm talking about the sheets!
317
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,006
I can't stand wrinkled sheets!
318
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,441
Change them, now!
319
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,343
OK, OK!
320
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,679
- Whoa!
- Whoops.
321
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,782
Dean McMann, are you all right?
322
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,685
No! This, this
miscreant tried to kill me!
323
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,053
I did not!
324
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,622
Oh, uh, Dean McMann, I--
I'm sure it was just an accident.
325
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,390
I don't care if it
was an accident.
326
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,758
I want him fired now.
327
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:47,193
Please.
You can't fire me.
328
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,695
Isn't that right, Dr. Wong?
329
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,231
No, she can't.
But I can.
330
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,799
I'm sorry, Zack.
331
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:54,534
You're really not cut out
for this sort of work.
332
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,702
Oh no, no, wait.
333
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,303
Aren't I entitled to
a second opinion?
334
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,173
Yes. You're incompetent
and annoying. Get out.
335
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,941
I'll take care of Dean McMann.
336
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,911
Kelly, you go finish Professor
Lasky's sponge bath.
337
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,379
Right.
338
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,548
What is it with
this sponge bath?
339
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,217
Why don't you just take him to a
car wash and wheel him through?
340
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,719
Hey, you know what?
341
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,988
I'll even spring for
the carnauba wax.
342
00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,233
Leslie, Leslie.
343
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,402
My tattoo needs another
touch-up, fast.
344
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,871
Screech, this is the
fourth time today.
345
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:34,907
Hey, can I help it if I sweat
like a Bekins moving man?
346
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,143
Hey, Screech, you
want to go see--
347
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:39,112
oh, what's what stuff
on your arm?
348
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:43,650
Nothing. I'm just
having a bad tattoo day.
349
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,219
Hey, look.
It's coming off.
350
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,154
This isn't a real tattoo.
351
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:49,722
It's drawn on. You
guys believe it?
352
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,257
Check it out.
What a geek!
353
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,292
Hey.
354
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,761
If you ask me, Screech is the
only smart guy on the lot.
355
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,129
Yeah, right!
356
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,097
Yeah, what's that supposed
to mean, Mike?
357
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,565
Follow me.
I'll show you.
358
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:00,933
Yeah, right!
359
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,436
Um, Leslie, we're going
to the men's room.
360
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,204
Yeah, right!
361
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,608
Maybe I'll just wait out here.
362
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,276
[laughs]
363
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,679
Alex!
Alex, hold on a second.
364
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,714
I got a little surprise for you.
365
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:15,982
Check this out.
366
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,651
I got your name tattooed
on my ankle.
367
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,019
Huh?
368
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,623
That is my name.
369
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,225
Gee.
Could you get it any smaller?
370
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,528
Who did it?
A Keebler elf?
371
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,464
Well, I don't see your tattoo.
372
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:32,799
Well, I'm going to go get one.
373
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,867
In big bold letters and
where people can see it,
374
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,203
because I am proud of my man.
375
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,740
Well, what happened?
376
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,110
Well, I showed these guys a
tattoo I got when I was in college.
377
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,979
Mike has Big Bird on his butt!
378
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,682
It's not Big Bird.
379
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,451
It's Tweety Bird.
380
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:55,955
Trust me, Mike.
That's a big bird.
381
00:15:57,023 --> 00:16:00,259
OK, so I put on a little
weight since my college days.
382
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,229
Anyway, I just hope you guys
learned something.
383
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,998
I, I think what Mike is
just trying to say is that
384
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:09,802
what seems cool now might not
seem so cool 10 years from now.
385
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,505
Well, that and if
you do get a tattoo,
386
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,841
lay off the Mrs.
Fields cookies.
387
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,144
- Hey, Slater.
- Hey, what's up, man?
388
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:19,679
Aren't you supposed to
be working right now?
389
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:20,747
Yeah.
390
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,181
Yeah, but thanks to Dean McMann,
391
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,716
I don't have a job anymore.
392
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,184
She told the doctors I
tried to kill her.
393
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,552
Do you believe it?
394
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,621
I don't know.
Did you?
395
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,656
Technically, yes.
396
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,692
Now that I'm banned
from the health center,
397
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:35,061
I can't keep an eye on
Lasky and Kelly anymore.
398
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:38,464
You know, it's just too bad
you're so darn healthy.
399
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,667
Yeah.
Too bad.
400
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,671
Dr. Wong, I'm ready
to check out.
401
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:46,773
[groan]
402
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,676
Mr. Morris, you are not
supposed to be here.
403
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,512
You're like the
neighborhood cat --
404
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,447
can't get rid of you.
405
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,383
Zack isn't feeling well.
406
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:59,318
What symptoms are you
experiencing?
407
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:03,523
Oh, well, I've got headaches,
loss of memory.
408
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:07,160
I've been fainting, and I've
got a loss of memory.
409
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,296
There's nothing wrong
with him that a few years
410
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,266
in a maximum security
prison wouldn't fix.
411
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,135
Pretty boy.
412
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:19,639
Dean McMann, Zack's symptoms
could be something serious.
413
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,908
- Orderly?
- Yes?
414
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,310
Screech, you're working here?
415
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:27,413
Well, it wasn't my first choice,
but McDonald's turned me down.
416
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,950
Take Zack to the lab, and we'll
start a complete physical work up.
417
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,852
Wait a minute.
What do you mean by complete?
418
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,588
I don't want you guys touching
anything that doesn't have a tan.
419
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,624
Zack, I know these tests
are unpleasant.
420
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,660
But with your symptoms, we
can't take any chances.
421
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:41,961
[sigh]
422
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,864
Screech, why don't you just
hide me in the linen closet?
423
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,333
I can't do that, Zack.
I need this job.
424
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,569
Besides, I burned my bridges
at McDonald's.
425
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,571
They won't even let
me eat there.
426
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,074
Oh, can I fluff your pillow?
427
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,276
No, no, that's OK.
My pillow's all fluffed out.
428
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:58,544
How about some magazines?
429
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,079
Kelly, can we just talk?
430
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,449
I really appreciate all the little
things you've been doing for me.
431
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,152
Slipping me extra
Jello, reading to me,
432
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:08,855
wiring the TV for
surround sound.
433
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,991
I'm just doing my job.
434
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,559
But you really shouldn't
be this nice to me
435
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:14,760
after the way
I treated you.
436
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,128
You ought to be angry with me.
437
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,164
And it would be good for you
to express that anger.
438
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,032
Jeremiah, don't be silly.
439
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,901
I could never be angry with you.
440
00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:24,136
- [groan]
- Zack!
441
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,471
Are you all right?
442
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,573
No, I feel like I've
been tortured.
443
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,308
You know, if these
doctors were the Germans,
444
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,410
I would've
told them when D-Day was.
445
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:36,282
Oh, well I'll let you rest a little
before we start the next series of tests.
446
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:37,717
More tests?
447
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,418
There's no place left
for them to look.
448
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,454
Oh yes there is.
449
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,825
Please, don't let them
give me anymore tests.
450
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,827
Well, Zack, you need them if
you're not feeling well.
451
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,028
I'm feeling fine.
452
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,897
I just said I was sick to
keep an eye on you.
453
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,298
Well, that's terrible.
454
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,866
I know, Kelly.
I made a mistake.
455
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,468
But I only did it
because of you.
456
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,803
Time for your barium!
457
00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:00,206
No more!
You stay away from me!
458
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:03,376
- Oh.
- But it's cherry flavored!
459
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,646
How could someone be so stupid?
460
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,614
Oh, Kelly, don't be
so hard on him.
461
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,149
I wasn't talking about Zack.
462
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:11,784
I was talking about me.
463
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:12,952
What?
464
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,688
I'm so stupid to have fallen
in love with you.
465
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:22,929
OK, OK, OK.
466
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,130
Why do you feel this way?
467
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,698
Why do I feel this way?
468
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,099
Isn't it obvious?
469
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,835
I mean, Zack is willing to go
through anything for me, and you--
470
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,638
well, we both know what you're
willing to do for me -- nothing!
471
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,574
Good, good.
Kelly, go with your feelings.
472
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,042
I'll give you feelings.
473
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,244
I'm tired of hoping you see
how wonderful I am.
474
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,745
I'm tired of being nice.
475
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,747
And I'm tired of you!
476
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,766
Hey!
How'd it go?
477
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,635
Fine.
Just fine.
478
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,237
Well, can I see the tattoo?
479
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:08,174
Why? You know what
your name looks like.
480
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,742
Oh Alex, come on.
481
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,243
Where is it? Where is it, huh?
482
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,179
All right, all right.
I wanted to get a tattoo.
483
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,847
I really did.
484
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,415
But when I got
to the tattoo place,
485
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,584
there were all these needles.
486
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,553
And the tattoo guy's
name was Rusty.
487
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,522
And I don't know.
Rusty, needles.
488
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,426
I just had to get out of there.
489
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,495
You're not mad, are you?
490
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,063
Of course I'm mad.
491
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,332
I got this dumb, idiotic
tattoo for you.
492
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,701
I'm really sorry.
I'll make it up to you.
493
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,470
What do you want me to do?
494
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,640
I'll tell you what
I want you to do.
495
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,141
You're going to come with me
496
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,977
to the Sylvester Stallone Film
Festival this weekend.
497
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,947
We're going to see every
movie he's ever made.
498
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:50,916
Even "Rocky?"
499
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,352
Yup. One through five.
500
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,622
I'll go get the tattoo!
501
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:01,627
[knock on door]
502
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:03,029
Yeah?
503
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,168
Hey, you feeling any better?
504
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,536
No.
505
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,338
Well, you went
through a lot today.
506
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:14,807
Yeah.
And a lot went through me.
507
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,308
Ha.
508
00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:19,979
Look, I just wanted
to let you know that
509
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:23,616
I'm finally over
Jeremiah, thanks to you.
510
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:27,853
So does that mean there's
a chance for us?
511
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:29,689
Maybe.
512
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:33,059
Why don't we take
things a step at a time,
513
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:34,727
starting with dinner?
514
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:37,029
Oh, I'd love to go to dinner.
515
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:38,631
Tomorrow night.
516
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:41,033
The cherry flavored barium
really filled me up.
517
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,468
[laughs]
518
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:47,039
I must admit, I've never had a
man swallow radioactive fluid for me.
519
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,642
Let me fluff your pillows.
520
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:53,713
Oh, you know, you better
check my pulse, too.
521
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,016
It's really racing.
522
00:21:58,350 --> 00:21:59,785
You're telling me.
523
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:07,460
You know, Zack,
524
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,295
I'm really touched that
you're working at a place
525
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:11,497
that you hate just
to be close to me.
526
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:13,299
Well, I'm touched that
you're touched.
527
00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:15,868
And since we're both so touched,
maybe we should both be, uh--
528
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:17,636
[starts laughing]
529
00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:24,477
Do you know what I-- [laughter]
36058
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