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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,971 ♪♪ 2 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,210 Slater, grow up. 3 00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:12,946 The guy is just a football player. 4 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,482 Hey, Kelly, can you believe this guy? 5 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,519 He wants to get Johnny Walters to autograph his rookie card. 6 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,554 You've got his rookie card? 7 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,090 All I've got is his underwear ad. 8 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,028 What is with you? 9 00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:30,364 I mean, Walters puts on his underwear one leg at a time, 10 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,765 just like the rest of us. 11 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,667 Is that how you guys do it? 12 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:38,105 You know, I really wish I could go to that alumni banquet tomorrow. 13 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:41,608 Yeah, it's not every day Cal U retires a guy's jersey. 14 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:42,676 Uh-huh. 15 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,012 Looks like they've already retired his pants. 16 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,214 [knocking] 17 00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,583 Hey, Mike. What's up? 18 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,019 Your grade in psychology. You got a B. 19 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,520 Oh, that's great. 20 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,855 I owe you one. 21 00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,757 Hey, that's what a teaching assistant's for. 22 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:58,725 Besides, I kind of enjoy helping you. 23 00:00:58,792 --> 00:00:59,760 Oh yeah? 24 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,295 Well, if you thought that was fun, 25 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,330 you're gonna love helping me on my term paper. 26 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,398 It's due next week. 27 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,033 Sure, when do you want to start? 28 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,835 Next week. 29 00:01:09,197 --> 00:01:10,404 What's wrong with right now? 30 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,573 Oh, Mike, come on. It's homecoming weekend. 31 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,808 There's football, parties, parades. 32 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,077 Yep, I'm on the clean-up committee. 33 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,913 I get to walk behind our fraternity's float. 34 00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,882 We have elephants this year. 35 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,719 Well, I'm just gonna study. 36 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,388 Oh, and my buddy, Johnny Walters, is coming by. 37 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,424 Wait, Johnny Walters is coming here? 38 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,092 - Yeah. Yeah. - To the dorm? 39 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:33,694 I'm gonna go change. 40 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:37,064 Just remember, one leg at a time. 41 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,466 Oh, I forgot. 42 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,835 You and Walters played ball together here at Cal U. 43 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,570 Yeah, and on the 49ers. 44 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:44,838 Hey, Mike, will you introduce me? 45 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,373 Oh, please. What is with you? 46 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,408 Come on, Walters is just another jock who thinks 47 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:51,044 just because he gets a million bucks to endorse some sneaker, 48 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,946 his gym socks don't smell. 49 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,849 You make a good point, Zack. 50 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,418 By the way, have you met Johnny Walters? 51 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,421 - Hey. - What's up. 52 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,024 - How are you? - Hey, how are you? 53 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,360 Talk about a quarterback sneak. 54 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:09,463 Why didn't you guys tell me he was standing there? 55 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,303 ♪ I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow, ♪ 56 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,540 ♪ and it's all up to me how far I go ♪ 57 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,676 ♪ I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow ♪ 58 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,146 ♪ I've never seen such a view before, ♪ 59 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:29,182 ♪ a new world before my eyes ♪ 60 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:32,352 ♪ So much for me to explore ♪ 61 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,788 ♪ It's where my future lies ♪ 62 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,091 ♪ Today, I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow ♪ 63 00:02:38,627 --> 00:02:41,150 ♪ From here, the future looks bright for me ♪ 64 00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:44,407 ♪ And it's all up to me how far I go ♪ 65 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,534 ♪ It's my time to break away ♪ 66 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:52,005 ♪ I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow today ♪ 67 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,717 Screech, my parents are gonna be here in 20 minutes. 68 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,953 Do you have to oil your chain in here? 69 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,255 Well, you don't want me to squeak, do you? 70 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:12,147 Last time I rode across campus, squirrels followed me. 71 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:16,363 Leslie, Screech has to be handled in a very special way. 72 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,598 Observe. 73 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,166 - Screech? - Huh? 74 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,268 Get out now. 75 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,669 OK. 76 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,440 Oh, I almost forgot. 77 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,742 The Burkes are arriving for homecoming. 78 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,844 You know, as in Burke Hall. 79 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,947 Oh yeah, and how can we forget Burke Library. 80 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,716 - Oh, yes. - Knock it off, guys. 81 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,684 Ooh, a little tense, are we? 82 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,319 Not the least little bit. 83 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:42,055 (SCREAMING) Use the coaster. Are you crazy? 84 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:47,561 Hey, look at this, an article on Johnny Walters. 85 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,930 Man, I still can't believe you insulted him. 86 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,932 Aw, he's just another jock. 87 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,333 Oh, check this out. 88 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,570 He's also on the board of three major corporations. 89 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,606 On the other hand, he's a human being and I've hurt his feelings. 90 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,275 I'm gonna go apologize. 91 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:05,746 OK, one more time, let it rip. 92 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,414 [squawks]. 93 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,317 I've finally got it right. 94 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,120 You are looking at the next Cal U mascot. 95 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:16,623 Wait, you're actually gonna audition for Freddie Falcon? 96 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:20,794 Oh yeah, and I had to work really hard to find the bird within me. 97 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,230 [squawks] 98 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:25,699 What do you think? 99 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,668 I think you look like a nut. 100 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,103 Well, thank you. 101 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,305 It's very nice of you to make fun of me. 102 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,477 Great going, Slater. 103 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,347 Come on. Alex, I was joking. 104 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,715 Come on. 105 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,993 [knocking] MIKE (OFFSCREEN): Yo. 106 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:56,096 Hey, Mike. I'm here to work on my term-- oh, hi. 107 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,299 I didn't know you had company. 108 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,835 Look, Johnny, I'm-- I'm sorry I insulted you. 109 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,370 Relax, kid. I can take it. 110 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,505 I've been booed by 70,000 football fans. 111 00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,007 Ah, what do they know? 112 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,209 They-- they take off their shirts in freezing weather 113 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,311 and paint, "Hi, Mom" on their beer bellies. 114 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,346 Boy, I miss the game. 115 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,049 You know, I'll never forget that play in the Super Bowl 116 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,051 when you scrambled away from four guys 117 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,686 and hit Simpson in the end zone. 118 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:22,255 Hey, I recovered a fumble to set up that play. 119 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:23,657 Yeah, that's great, Mike. 120 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,992 You won the MVP that year, didn't you? 121 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,728 Yeah, I just got lucky. 122 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,363 That was the year that my Achilles tendon ruptured. 123 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:31,765 No kidding? 124 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,567 What a career. 125 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,936 It is no wonder they're gonna honor you at the banquet tomorrow night. 126 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,637 Oh yeah, that reminds me. 127 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:41,742 Mike, I would sure like it if you did the introduction for me. 128 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:45,712 Nah, I'm not the best, you know-- 129 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:46,947 Speaker? 130 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:48,849 Come on, Mike. 131 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,251 Who knows me better than you? 132 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,520 The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders? 133 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,824 But if you want me to, sure. 134 00:05:57,916 --> 00:05:58,850 Thanks, buddy. 135 00:05:58,904 --> 00:06:00,117 Now, what do you say we grab some lunch? 136 00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:01,164 - Yeah, OK? - My treat. 137 00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:02,740 - You want to come with us, kid? - Sure. 138 00:06:02,789 --> 00:06:05,365 Those girls in the car commercial, are they really as beautiful as they look on TV? 139 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,000 You want to know the truth, kid? 140 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,235 - They're better. - Oh. 141 00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:11,204 You know, I did a commercial for that Clapper thing once. 142 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,607 I got a free one, too. 143 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,480 [squawks]. 144 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,189 I like that pecking thing. 145 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,392 Look, if you're here to make fun again, you can just forget it. 146 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:33,693 I have work to do. 147 00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,128 No, no really. 148 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,697 That was kind of cute, that thing you do with your leg. 149 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,535 - Really? - Yeah. 150 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,870 Maybe, though, instead of doing this, 151 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:47,674 you can kind of tilt your head back and really [squawks]. 152 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,277 [squawks]. 153 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,445 Yeah, I like that. That's good. 154 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,780 But this is no good. 155 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,715 Remember, you're a falcon, so you need bigger wings. 156 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,050 - Oh, OK. - And you need to flap bigger. 157 00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,251 - OK. - Like this. 158 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,387 - [squawks]. - [squawks]. 159 00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,456 Yeah, yeah. 160 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,359 [squawks] 161 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,030 [squawks]. 162 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,700 You know, this always happens. 163 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,602 The minute I learn a new dance, pow, 164 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,337 it' s not hip anymore. 165 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,843 Honey, wouldn't this be better in the closet? 166 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,344 So where's yours? 167 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,146 There's only one, mother. 168 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,114 You share a closet with two other girls? 169 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,584 Walt, she shares a closet with two other girls. 170 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,385 I'll make a call. 171 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,689 No, I'm fine with it, really. 172 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:39,526 Now, you're not really going to wear this dreadful jacket, are you? 173 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,461 No, I am. 174 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,663 That's mine, Mrs. Burke. 175 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,699 Oh, baby. You remember the Emersons? 176 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,301 Their son Todd is going to be calling to take you to the banquet. 177 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:52,105 Oh gee, I'd love to meet him, but you see, I-- 178 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,441 I already have a date. 179 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,709 You have a date? 180 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:56,843 Do we know him? 181 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,779 Now, Edith, I'm sure whoever our girl has chosen will be just fine. 182 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,348 Gotta run, baby. 183 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:02,883 Well, it was so nice to meet you. 184 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,517 And remember, our offer still stands. 185 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,619 Oh, thank you. 186 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,787 I'm sure your chauffeur's son is very nice, 187 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,856 but I can find my own dates. 188 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,392 Goodbye, sweetheart. 189 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,461 - Goodbye. - Bye. 190 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,695 Bye now. 191 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,364 [squawks]. 192 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:25,138 Next year, we get Leslie her own apartment. 193 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,440 I'll make a call. 194 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,877 So who is this great guy you're taking to the banquet? 195 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,279 I wish I knew. 196 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,980 I had to make something up. 197 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,917 I can't stand the way they're always controlling my life. 198 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,652 And mine. 199 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,755 Do you know what I would love to do? 200 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,257 Bring somebody that they would never expect me to date, 201 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,993 somebody that would really freak them out. 202 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:48,595 Hey, guys. 203 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,299 You going to the parade? 204 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,534 You don't want to miss the elephants. 205 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,611 See ya. 206 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,715 Screech, I have something important to ask you. 207 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,083 OK. 208 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,219 Would you be my date for the homecoming banquet? 209 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,956 Let me get this straight. 210 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,291 You're asking me on a date? 211 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,659 Yes. 212 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,895 Let me get this straight. 213 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,031 You're asking me on a date? 214 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,300 Well, kind of. 215 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,502 You see, my parents are going to be at the banquet, 216 00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:30,637 and what I need is-- 217 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,372 You need a geek to shock your parents? 218 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,240 Is that what you're trying to say? 219 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,576 Well, kind of. 220 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,311 Sure, no problem. 221 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,014 You mean you don't mind? 222 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,783 No, not at all. I'm great at scaring parents. 223 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,585 I scare my own all the time. 224 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,793 You know, my dad and I are major fans. 225 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,495 I mean the first game he ever took me to, 226 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,597 you threw four touchdown passes against the Rams. 227 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:58,865 Hey, I remember that game. 228 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,367 I cracked two ribs. 229 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:01,901 That's great, Mike. 230 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,470 So that's Kelly with a Y. 231 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,271 There you go. 232 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,606 Thank you. 233 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:09,009 Johnny, may I ask you something? 234 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,311 - You played at Cal U when? - '78. 235 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,512 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 236 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,281 Am I wrong or was this piece of meatloaf here then? 237 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,017 I like you, kid. 238 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,952 You remind me of me when I was in college. 239 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,353 Remember the time when that real-- 240 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,989 You know, Zack and I have to work on a psychology paper. 241 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,091 Oh yeah, studying's important. 242 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,393 But by the way, 243 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,262 how would you like to be my guest at the banquet tomorrow night 244 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,497 and bring a date? 245 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:31,798 Well, that would be terrific. 246 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,967 Well, I gotta go. I'll see you at the game? 247 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,835 - Yeah. - Right, boom. 248 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,237 Yes. 249 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,338 Do you hear that, Mike? 250 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,573 All the rich alumni are gonna be there at the banquet. 251 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,942 I can make some great business connections tomorrow night. 252 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,412 Zack, don't get your hopes up. 253 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,714 Why? Johnny just said he'd get me in. 254 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,317 He's not the most reliable guy. 255 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:56,289 Mike, now I know I'm not very good at this psychology stuff, 256 00:10:56,389 --> 00:11:00,060 but am I sensing a little jealousy here? 257 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,828 You're right. 258 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:04,431 You're not very good at this psychology stuff. 259 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,069 Hey, Leslie. 260 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,503 I'm going to the banquet tomorrow night. 261 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:11,838 How would you like to go with me? 262 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,640 Sorry, I'm going with Screech. 263 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,175 Leslie, please. 264 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:19,479 If you don't want to go out with me, at least make up a believable excuse. 265 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,649 OK, I'm washing my hair. 266 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,985 Now that I believe. 267 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,621 Slater, I got the part. 268 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:31,291 I'm the school mascot. I'm Freddie the Falcon. 269 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,959 All right. [applause] 270 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:37,530 And, everybody, I could not have done it without the help of this man. 271 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,232 Nah, nah, I didn't do anything. 272 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,633 Oh, sure you did, remember? 273 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,669 You stood on that one leg, and [squawks]. 274 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:43,903 You did that. 275 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,305 No, not-- not here. 276 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,640 You're right. I should save it for the game. 277 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:50,076 So anyway, 278 00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,645 I get to go to the homecoming banquet, 279 00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:55,348 and I can bring a guest. 280 00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,750 And the guest can be a guy. 281 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,454 And, well, you're a guy, 282 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,723 and I was thinking that maybe, you know-- 283 00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,925 Alex, are you asking me to the banquet? 284 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,528 Yes, unless you don't want to go, 285 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,364 in which case you misunderstood me completely. 286 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,100 I'd love to. 287 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:15,735 Great. 288 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,674 [squawks] 289 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,310 [squawks]. 290 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,722 This is gonna be so much fun. 291 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,924 Thanks for asking me, Zack. 292 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:40,793 Hey, who else would I ask? 293 00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,732 Well, we've made our appearance. 294 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,333 I think we can go now. Come on. 295 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,568 Oh, don't be silly. 296 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,004 They want me to pose for pictures and greet the alumni. 297 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,907 Hey, everybody, Freddie the Falcon's here. 298 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,409 [applause] 299 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,947 OK, now, Leslie, is there anything particularly geeky 300 00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:02,382 you'd like me to do tonight? 301 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:05,418 Like, um, I can have a wheezing attack during the main course. 302 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,920 Or-- or you'll love this. 303 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,556 I can choke on some milk and make it come out my nose and ears. 304 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,124 That's always fun. 305 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,393 Just be yourself, Screech. 306 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:17,030 Oh, good, because the milk thing I really can't control. 307 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:20,500 Hi, baby. Sorry we're late. 308 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,135 Hi, Mom. 309 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,504 So which one is the lucky fellow? 310 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,072 Oh, that would be me. 311 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,948 No, seriously. 312 00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,384 Zack Morris, Mel Cochran. 313 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,187 Mel is the chairman of the board of Diodine Computers. 314 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,289 Mel, nice to meet you. 315 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:46,492 I was very impressed to see that you doubled your fourth quarter earnings. 316 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,061 Well, thank you. 317 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,263 Zack is an up and coming finance major, 318 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,099 and I just thought he'd be perfect as our fourth for golf tomorrow. 319 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,968 Really? I'd love to. 320 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,269 Well, I look forward to it, Zack. 321 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,137 - Me too. - See you in a moment. 322 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,441 I have a 15-minute break. Do you want to dance? 323 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,210 Um, I can't dance. 324 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,646 I'm Amish. 325 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:12,485 You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that you're ashamed of me. 326 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,487 Well, of course I'm ashamed. 327 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,356 I'm on a date with Big Bird. 328 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,692 Well, I certainly wouldn't want to embarrass you. 329 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,361 [sobs] 330 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,271 Don't worry about that milk. It won't stain. 331 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,139 Thank you, thank you. 332 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,574 So, uh, Scrunch? 333 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:35,842 Uh, that's Screech. 334 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,611 Scrunch, Screech, who cares? I mean, what do you-- 335 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,681 what do you see yourself doing five years from now? 336 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,951 Well, Mr. Burke, if things go well tonight, 337 00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:48,388 I see myself taking over Burke Industries. 338 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,859 Honey, let me get you your blood pressure medication. 339 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,895 Well, I may be taking over sooner than I thought. 340 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,031 Hey, Mike. 341 00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,632 Excuse me. Guess what? 342 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:03,336 Johnny invited me to play golf with two major corporate players tomorrow. 343 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,904 We're supposed to work on your paper. 344 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,339 Oh, Mike, come on. Forget studying. 345 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,374 We're talking high level networking here. 346 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,543 I can't believe all the cool things this guy's doing for me. 347 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,111 Zack, let me level with you. 348 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,514 This guy is not as cool as he seems. 349 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:15,748 Yeah, right. 350 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,617 And you said he wasn't going to get me into the banquet either. 351 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:21,054 The only reason he invited you here is to feed his own ego. 352 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:24,857 Trust me, Johnny Walters only looks out for Johnny Walters. 353 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,560 Well, you really are jealous. 354 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,162 You know, just because the guy's a superstar, 355 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,030 that gives you no reason to put him down. 356 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,632 Why don't you get over it, Mike? 357 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,812 [sobs] 358 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,180 Alex? 359 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,349 Alex, can I talk to you a moment? 360 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,351 No, I'm not a parrot. 361 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,586 I'm a falcon, and falcons don't talk. 362 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:56,789 We eat really big rats and scratch their eyes out. 363 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,158 Smile. 364 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,764 Um, I want my picture taken with the falcon. 365 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,801 Why? So you can remember the most embarrassing night of your life? 366 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,172 Look, Alex. 367 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,608 You've gotta admit. You're different. 368 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,777 I mean, good different. 369 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,712 That's one of the reasons I like you. 370 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,148 It's just that this kind of different 371 00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,083 takes some getting used to. 372 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,053 Wait a minute. Back up. 373 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,222 You like me? 374 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,125 Well, yeah. 375 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:35,728 And you could accept me just the way that I am? 376 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,866 I don't know. 377 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,168 Will my lips fit inside your beak? 378 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,409 We could try. 379 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,783 Wait till my dad hears I danced with you. 380 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,551 He's never gonna believe it. 381 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,821 Hey, I have to run into the city and do an interview with Bob Costas. 382 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,322 Would you like to come along? 383 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,690 Are you kidding? 384 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,159 Oh, I'd love to. 385 00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,693 Is it OK If I go with Johnny, Zack? 386 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,363 Excuse me, Kelly, but there's a president of a network over there. 387 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,832 I don't think he minds. 388 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,101 Mmm. 389 00:17:15,376 --> 00:17:18,171 Now, of course my dad wanted me to be a surgeon, 390 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:21,240 but there's really not much difference in being a meat cutter, 391 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,943 just a little more room for error. 392 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:28,114 Honey, you know it's really not too late to go to college in France. 393 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,882 I can make a call. 394 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:34,287 Well, I couldn't possibly leave my fiancé. 395 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,057 Fiancé? 396 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,526 Yes, uh, how about a June wedding, my dear? 397 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,428 Dad can carve the meat sculpture. 398 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,264 He makes a beautiful pork swan. 399 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,401 Leslie, could we speak to you alone? 400 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,702 Yes. 401 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,872 Pork swan? Nice touch. 402 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,207 Well. 403 00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:01,714 Honey, you are not marrying this meat boy. 404 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,218 Think about what you're doing. You're a Burke, and he's a-- 405 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:08,888 Screech. 406 00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,823 Look, we're not getting married. 407 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,024 He's not my boyfriend. 408 00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,559 I made up the whole thing. 409 00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:14,994 But why would you do that? 410 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,930 Because I am sick of you always telling me what to wear, 411 00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:20,199 who to date, what school to go to. 412 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,001 I'm 18 years old. 413 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,837 It's time I started making my own decisions. 414 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,907 We only wanted the best for our little girl. 415 00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:32,044 Well, what's best for me is that you stop treating me like a little girl. 416 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,348 Edith, I think we should talk to our therapist about this. 417 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,250 I'll make a call. 418 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:43,122 So, Mom, Dad, I've been thinking about names for the grand kids. 419 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,158 What do you think of Itchy and Scratchy? 420 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,232 Hey there. 421 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,600 Good morning. 422 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,336 So how did Johnny's interview go at the studio last night? 423 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:58,905 Fine. 424 00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,973 Well, that was nice of him to take you. 425 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,876 Oh yeah, really nice. 426 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:05,711 He's a great guy, huh? 427 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,947 Oh yeah, he's a prince. 428 00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,483 So why don't I believe a word you're saying? 429 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,687 You want to know the truth about our hero? 430 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,056 He hit on me in the limo. 431 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,091 And when I said no, 432 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,093 he picked up another girl at the TV station 433 00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:23,362 and told me to take a cab home. 434 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:29,201 Johnny Walters, big hero, big jerk. 435 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,904 I had no idea. 436 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,706 I'm sorry, Kelly. 437 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,408 It's not your fault. 438 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,379 [knocking] 439 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,081 Hey, Zack. You ready? 440 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,749 Yeah, hold on a minute there, Johnny. 441 00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:45,668 What happened with you and Kelly last night? 442 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:48,020 Oh, nothing, man. You win a few, you lose a few. 443 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,589 Come on. The limo's waiting. 444 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,990 Maybe another time. 445 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,224 Another time? 446 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,560 Zack, there won't be another time. 447 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:57,897 Now, these guys can get your career moving before you even graduate. 448 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,999 Think about this, buddy. 449 00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,034 I have. 450 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,804 I'm gonna have to pass. 451 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,510 [knocking] 452 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,449 Hey, Mike. 453 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,484 What happened to your golf game? 454 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,153 Um, not playing. 455 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,255 He stood you up, huh? 456 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,491 Yeah, something like that. 457 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:27,994 I'm sorry, Zack. 458 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,195 Why? 459 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,097 I mean, you warned me about the guy, 460 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,466 and here I was just thinking you were jealous. 461 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,168 Want to know something? 462 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,337 I am jealous. 463 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,573 And why shouldn't I be? 464 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,242 Walters has fame and money. 465 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:45,411 He's a national hero. 466 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:50,449 All I've got are two bad knees and a 13-inch TV. 467 00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,518 It's color. 468 00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,021 Sometimes. 469 00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,558 Do you know what really kills me? 470 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:03,229 He's still playing a game that I would play for nothing. 471 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,464 That must be rough. 472 00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:07,900 My last game, 473 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,936 I couldn't bring myself to take off my uniform 474 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:14,306 because I knew that I would never get to put it back on again. 475 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,810 That scared the heck out of me. 476 00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,980 After the game, 477 00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:26,485 I walked around the field for hours smelling the grass, the dirt. 478 00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,188 I didn't want to let it go, 479 00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,591 but I had to. 480 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,328 The sprinklers came on. 481 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:41,600 Mike, I know this isn't the NFL, 482 00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:43,869 but I'm telling you, the kids here really need you. 483 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,372 And I couldn't have gotten through that test without you. 484 00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:50,109 I know that doesn't sound like much. 485 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,612 It means more than you think. 486 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,386 Whoa. 487 00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:09,462 [laughs] 488 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:18,437 [laughs] 489 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,675 [screams] 490 00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,379 Ta-da. 33113

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