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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Aw, look at that.
2
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Such a good pop-pop.
3
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You want to give her back to me now?
4
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,200
Mm, I can't.
5
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Oh, I know, she's so sweet.
6
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No, no, I...
7
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I can't move my arms or my legs.
8
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Every part of me is asleep.
9
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I've been sitting here for...
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Well, I'd tell you,
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but I can't turn my head
to look at my watch.
12
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You want me to crack your neck?
13
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- No, don't touch me that much...
- I'm just gonna get back here...
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Don't, don't... oh!
15
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Oh! Oh!
16
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Whew! Oh!
17
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Oh, that was okay right there.
18
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Where'd you learn to do that?
19
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TikTok.
20
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I wasn't actually sure
if it would work.
21
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Ooh, wait a min... Okay.
22
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Yeah, I'm starting to feel
a little life in my foot
23
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right there, that's good.
24
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All right.
25
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Well,
26
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Malcolm is outside in the car,
27
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bidding a fond adieu to Museum Girl.
28
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I mean fond, I'm talking...
29
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Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
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Museum Girl.
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Ooh, ooh, Malcolm!
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Ooh!
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Ooh.
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Uh, would you like some time
35
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to be alone with yourself?
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I'd like to be dead.
37
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Okay, so, uh...
38
00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:24,360
who's Museum Girl?
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Oh, it's this new woman
Malcolm's been seeing,
40
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but he's being
super secretive about it.
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He won't even tell us her name.
42
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Yeah. But we do know
he met her at a museum.
43
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Hence the sobriquet.
44
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Uh, say what now?
45
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Moniker.
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Nickname.
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Oh, okay.
48
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Well, if we know Malcolm,
49
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her nickname should be "gone soon."
50
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What does that mean?
51
00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:51,000
Well, you see, Courtney,
52
00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:53,870
whenever Malcolm starts
to date someone seriously,
53
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,570
he always comes up with a reason
to break up with her.
54
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You know, "Dad, she's great,
55
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but... she blinks too much."
56
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,060
There is always a "but."
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Oh, one time,
the "but" was a flat butt.
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Which actually made sense...
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That did make sense,
it made a lot of sense.
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Oh!
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Hi, Malcolm.
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Nice try, Courtney.
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I saw you spying on us.
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I'm sorry.
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If it makes it any better,
I didn't see her face.
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'Cause your mouth was all over it.
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Why are you keeping her
a secret, Malcolm?
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Is she ugly?
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Is she missing a side tooth?
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She is beautiful, damn it, okay?
71
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:41,830
Her name is Angela,
and we get along great.
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She is smart, she is funny...
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But...
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There is no "but."
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Okay, okay, okay, is there a "though"?
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Or a "however," or...
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"having said that"?
78
00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,630
That was the old me.
79
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,810
But I have never dated
anyone like Angela.
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00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,070
She is amazing.
81
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,110
Look, check this out: We just went
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00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,900
to the Goya exhibit
at the Norton Simon,
83
00:03:07,030 --> 00:03:08,860
and she knew more than the tour guide.
84
00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:10,967
Well, that's good, man.
85
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You know what? I'm happy for you.
86
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,470
Thank you, Pop.
87
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,340
Yeah, your mom is going
to be thrilled.
88
00:03:15,430 --> 00:03:17,040
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no. No, no, no, no.
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As soon as she finds out,
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00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:23,106
she'll want to meet her,
she'll make a big fuss.
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She will scare her off.
92
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,766
Yeah, she does tend to go overboard.
93
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Overboard?
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She starts underwater.
95
00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:31,920
Yeah, she can get
a little crazy, right?
96
00:03:32,970 --> 00:03:34,800
Hey, keep my mother's name
out of your mouth!
97
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I don't know who you think you are.
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00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,850
I don't know who you think you are,
99
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but that's a no up in here.
100
00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:40,760
- My bad.
- You don't talk about Tina.
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00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,290
I got to say, Marty,
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00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:52,620
you did a nice job getting
Daphne dressed this morning.
103
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,730
She's even got
the right kind of diaper on.
104
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,250
You may also notice
it is not on backwards.
105
00:03:57,430 --> 00:03:58,780
Or sideways.
106
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,430
I still don't know
how he managed to do that.
107
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,700
Those diapers had
a very counterintuitive design!
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00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:07,650
Hey.
109
00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:10,220
Ooh!
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Divine, simply divine.
111
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- Oh, that's beautiful, babe.
- Yeah, that's the one, Mama.
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I don't know,
it's for Daphne's christening.
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You know, I want something that says,
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"I'm the grandmother, but I can still
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00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,370
read without my glasses."
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But you can't though.
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I know, Calvin, that's why
I want the dress to say it.
118
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- Hey, hey, everybody.
- Oh, hey, Malcolm.
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Amazon for Mama.
120
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Please tell me
that's not more dresses.
121
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No, it's not dresses.
122
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:43,040
It's the baby stuff that
I subscribe to on Amazon.
123
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:45,080
Because Marty doesn't know
what he's doing.
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Like when he bought
the sideways diapers.
125
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,530
Hey, guys.
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00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,570
Oh, hey, Gemma.
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He's mad about the evite.
128
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,710
I'm not mad.
129
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,100
I'm just disappointed.
130
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:08,590
Uh, I didn't get an evite.
131
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,540
Uh, yes, you did get an evite,
you did.
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00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,346
You see, the funny thing
about an evite is
133
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:13,980
it tells you when someone opens it.
134
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And you all opened it.
135
00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:19,006
- Oh, oh, that-that evite.
- Yeah, right.
136
00:05:19,030 --> 00:05:20,550
- That one.
- Yes.
137
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,860
He's very excited for his party,
138
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,250
because it has kombucha
and bocce ball.
139
00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:27,520
Or as we like to call them,
140
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"Booch and Botch."
141
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,150
All right, you know what, Dave?
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We'll come, uh, we'll all come.
143
00:05:33,065 --> 00:05:34,105
- Okay.
- All right?
144
00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:35,480
Ooh!
145
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I say yes to that dress.
146
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:38,750
Oh, I love it.
147
00:05:38,775 --> 00:05:39,905
It's perfect.
148
00:05:40,014 --> 00:05:41,714
Oh, yeah, perf. Totes perf.
149
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,426
No, I-I don't know, don't you think
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00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:46,360
it's a little flashy
for a christening?
151
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Excuse me?
152
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,900
Uh, Gemma, a little help here?
153
00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:00,460
Mm-mm. Don't put me in this.
154
00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,550
Why do you hate it?
155
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,080
Or is it that you hate your mother?
156
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Do you not want me to come?
157
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:06,640
Is this how you disinvite me?!
158
00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,340
Malcolm has a serious girlfriend!
159
00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,300
What?!
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00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:12,950
Oh, wow.
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00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,130
Marty, that's cold.
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We are no longer brothers.
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00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,400
Malcolm, is that true?
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00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,806
Mama, Mama, look,
just calm down, okay?
165
00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:24,270
It's only been a month.
166
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,580
Ooh, let's set up a dinner!
167
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:27,010
What does she like to eat?
168
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:28,320
Does she have any allergies?
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You know what, I can just call her.
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Tina, I got it.
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The Booch and Botch party
tomorrow night.
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00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,150
You know what, Malcolm,
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I'm gonna put you down for a plus-one.
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Oh, perfect!
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00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:38,890
Thank you, Dave.
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This is so exciting. Okay.
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Two more dresses.
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00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,340
- Hey, Marty?
- Yeah?
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00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:49,730
- Run.
- Okay.
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00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:56,080
Ooh, great shot.
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00:06:56,260 --> 00:06:58,830
You know, Dave,
I don't get this kombucha.
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00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,520
There's no alcohol in it?
183
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,610
It-it just tastes bad?
184
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:05,220
Dave, mine is great.
185
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:07,570
Well, I'm glad
some people appreciate it.
186
00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:11,530
I poured mine out. This is pinot.
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00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,230
- Hook a brother up.
- Okay.
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00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,540
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
189
00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:19,720
They just pulled up, and guess what?
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00:07:19,890 --> 00:07:22,410
Angela is really great
at parallel parking.
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00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,420
Hey, everybody.
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00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,525
This is...
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00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:27,720
Angela!
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00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,080
Ooh, oh, my goodness,
I love your outfit.
195
00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:34,340
And your hair and that jewelry.
196
00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:35,820
I just love you.
197
00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:37,560
Aw, that's so nice.
198
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:39,000
Well, that's me. I'm nice.
199
00:07:39,130 --> 00:07:40,210
You're gonna love me.
200
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:42,130
Uh, Pop?
201
00:07:42,260 --> 00:07:43,700
Yeah, I got this. Uh, hey, uh...
202
00:07:43,870 --> 00:07:45,740
Um, nice to meet you.
I'm Malcolm's dad.
203
00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:48,530
Tina, Tina, Tina, come on, babe, we...
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00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,140
we need you to take it down a notch.
205
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,840
Calvin, Marty's about to see
his baby be christened, okay?
206
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:58,410
And I have yet to see either
of my babies married.
207
00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:01,110
Let me speak this into existence.
208
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,760
You're about to speak her
back into the car.
209
00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:07,680
I cannot tell you how excited
210
00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:09,900
I am to finally meet you.
211
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:12,510
Ooh! I know what we can to do.
212
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,470
My other son Marty has
the cutest little baby.
213
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,860
Marty!
214
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,600
Wave to Angela.
215
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,690
Yeah, I don't know
if Malcolm told you,
216
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:27,440
but she's gonna be christened Sunday.
217
00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:29,350
We would love for you to come.
218
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,700
I would love that.
219
00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:32,150
I've never been to a christening.
220
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,220
Oh, it's so fun.
221
00:08:33,350 --> 00:08:34,546
Oh, and you're gonna love my outfit.
222
00:08:34,570 --> 00:08:36,440
It's a little bit of Gayle King,
223
00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:38,270
with a splash of Olivia Pope,
224
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,320
and a hint of "Housewife Reunion."
225
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,100
Atlanta not Potomac.
226
00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:44,890
All right, I'm not familiar.
227
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,590
Oh, you know.
228
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,630
The most stylish Black women on TV.
229
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,070
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
230
00:08:50,095 --> 00:08:51,117
I don't have a TV.
231
00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:52,330
What?
232
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,550
It's such a time suck.
233
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,860
Empty calories for the mind, you know?
234
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:57,340
Oh, well...
235
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,080
I don't watch that much TV anyway.
236
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,276
- I'm really more of a book girl.
- Ooh.
237
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,860
My grandma always called
TV the "idiot box."
238
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,950
I love your top.
239
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,430
Thank you.
240
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,740
I go thrifting, too.
241
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,010
- That's your little one?
- Mm-hmm.
242
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,700
So precious!
243
00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:18,400
Yeah, that's my baby girl.
244
00:09:18,530 --> 00:09:20,400
And in her little princess onesie.
245
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:22,140
Smart, better she know now
246
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:24,190
she'll be living in a
patriarchy her whole life.
247
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,590
Wow, a principal at a private school?
248
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,020
My seventh year.
249
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,810
I hope you don't listen
when people say
250
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:35,200
you're just perpetuating
a two-tiered educational system.
251
00:09:37,330 --> 00:09:39,900
I'm not saying kombucha
doesn't improve gut health.
252
00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:42,990
I'm just asking,
who wants us to believe that?
253
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,640
The people who've made it
their life's work
254
00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:47,730
to study stomach microbiomes?
255
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,430
I'm just saying...
256
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,820
follow the money.
257
00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:56,180
Hey, I hate to interrupt you two,
258
00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:57,480
but I come bearing kombucha.
259
00:09:57,570 --> 00:09:58,920
Thanks.
260
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:01,230
Your friend Dave has been
telling me all about it.
261
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,010
Oh, well, I have come to save you.
262
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,580
Save her?
263
00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:16,500
You sure I can't help you clean up?
264
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:17,810
Oh, no, we got this. Thanks.
265
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:21,200
All right, well, it was
so nice to meet you all.
266
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,290
- Bye-bye.
- Bye, y'all.
267
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,510
Ain't she great?
268
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,740
I love the way she just says
whatever's on her mind.
269
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,570
Her fearlessness is just so inspiring.
270
00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:40,079
Yeah, I see all your teeth, man.
271
00:10:40,104 --> 00:10:41,106
- That's a good sign.
- She's... pretty.
272
00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:42,830
Okay.
273
00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:46,880
You know what? Good for Malcolm.
274
00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,750
You know, not long ago,
275
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,336
he would have been searching for
something wrong with that lady.
276
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,320
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, Angela's great.
277
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:55,450
Yeah. So great.
278
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:56,720
Yeah.
279
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,110
- Really, really great.
- Yeah.
280
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,980
But is she great?
281
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:02,330
Ooh.
282
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:04,110
Uh, guys,
283
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,940
uh...
284
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,250
she sucks.
285
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,030
Dave! Ugh.
286
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,420
Dave.
287
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,340
You shouldn't say that.
You can think that...
288
00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:14,650
I was thinking it...
but you shouldn't say it.
289
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:17,650
Well, it had to be said.
She's a booch hater.
290
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:19,430
And she hates princesses.
291
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,480
She called my school "elitist."
292
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:23,050
- She said that?
- She didn't say it,
293
00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:25,920
she said "people" say it,
but I know she's "people."
294
00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:27,700
Yeah.
295
00:11:27,830 --> 00:11:29,466
I knew there was something
wrong with that girl.
296
00:11:29,490 --> 00:11:31,230
Who doesn't like TV?
297
00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:35,450
You know what? I'm taking
her off the evite list.
298
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:36,840
Yeah. That's it.
299
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,630
Oh, boy.
300
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,460
What did you do?
301
00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:45,550
I invited her to Daphne's christening.
302
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,160
Oh, God, no!
303
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:50,160
I know. What was I thinking?
304
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:52,250
Well,
305
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,640
maybe Angela's not that bad.
306
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:55,850
Maybe she was just nervous.
307
00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:58,210
There's a lot of us and one of her.
308
00:11:58,390 --> 00:12:00,130
Yeah... and, look, and Malcolm's smart.
309
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,780
You know? I'm sure he sees
something that we don't see.
310
00:12:02,870 --> 00:12:05,830
You know, great qualities
underneath all the...
311
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,090
terrible qualities that we've seen.
312
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,400
Yeah. Everybody has good and bad.
313
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,450
With every relationship,
you have to put up
314
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,360
with little annoyances
about your partner.
315
00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:18,230
God knows we have them.
316
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,100
Yeah.
317
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,460
"We..."
318
00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:27,410
meaning "us"?
319
00:12:33,810 --> 00:12:34,990
No.
320
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,600
Okay... what exactly
about me annoys you?
321
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:42,390
I shouldn't have said "annoying."
322
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,690
Uh, but you did.
323
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,560
So, please,
324
00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:47,260
tell me what I do that annoys you.
325
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,220
And be specif.
326
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:52,140
That.
327
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:53,480
What?
328
00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:54,766
Shortening words for no reason.
329
00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:56,570
Just say "specific."
330
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,206
Yeah, but it saves time and it's cool.
331
00:12:58,230 --> 00:12:59,970
You know what?
You're being totes ridic.
332
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,880
Oh.
333
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:05,630
I'm the one who sounds
totally ridiculous?
334
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,110
Oh. Oh, did you see that?
335
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,810
That right there...
that just took forever.
336
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,420
What is up, Calvin and Tina?
337
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:20,690
It is lovely to see you.
338
00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,730
- Oh, come on, Dave.
- Oh.
339
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:25,390
I am surprised that
you do not like this.
340
00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:28,910
Uh, Dave, why are you
talking like that?
341
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,560
Oh, well, it was
brought to my attention
342
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,260
that I am known for truncating words
343
00:13:32,350 --> 00:13:34,920
in a way that Gemma Johnson
344
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:37,090
finds unattractive.
345
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:38,880
Like when you said Daphne
346
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,750
- was "adorbs"?
- Mm.
347
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,530
That is correct.
348
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:45,140
So now I am only using full words
349
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,800
with Gemma Johnson
350
00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:48,800
in the hopes of increasing my odds
351
00:13:48,930 --> 00:13:51,240
of sexual intercourse.
352
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,330
Those odds are plummeting, David.
353
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,510
Hey, hey, everybody.
354
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,200
Oh, this is so nice.
355
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:02,730
Hi, Malcolm. Um...
356
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,600
that's a new look.
357
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,950
Why the hell does my
son have on a purse?
358
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:11,080
I got him a man-bag.
359
00:14:11,170 --> 00:14:13,130
His look needed some updating.
360
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,960
Boy, are your toes out in church?
361
00:14:17,830 --> 00:14:19,830
Uh, yes, Pop.
362
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,180
Angela got me thinking when she asked,
363
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:25,360
"Why are we hiding our feet
from God? He made them."
364
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,770
Well, isn't Angela just
full of good questions?
365
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,840
Yeah, Angela's full of...
366
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:35,060
Uh, Tina... church.
367
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:37,940
Would you listen to them?
368
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:40,030
Makes me glad we're not a couple.
369
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,110
Don't worry,
we would never be a couple.
370
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,470
Boy, you hit that "never" pretty hard.
371
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,170
Why have we not started?
372
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,260
It is three of the clock.
373
00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:00,180
Oh. We should take our seats.
374
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:05,920
We should take our seats.
375
00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:08,156
I mean, how is she
gonna tell us when to sit
376
00:15:08,180 --> 00:15:09,620
at our own grandbaby's christening?
377
00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:12,100
Right? I mean, she got
some nerve, right?
378
00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:14,360
We gonna sit down when we want to sit.
379
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,216
- Ain't nobody gonna tell us...
- When we want to sit is when we sit.
380
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,866
- ...when we sit. Not a word.
- Nobody tell us when to sit.
381
00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:20,210
- We should probably go sit, though.
- Yeah, we should sit.
382
00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:25,900
Welcome, everyone,
to this most blessed occasion.
383
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:29,290
Will the parents of Daphne Luna
Pridgeon-Butler come up,
384
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,990
- along with the godparents?
- All right.
385
00:15:34,170 --> 00:15:35,430
Oh, no.
386
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,820
Where does she think she going?
387
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,040
No... Where does she think she...
388
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,480
Angela.
389
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,610
Hello.
390
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:47,416
- What is Museum Girl doing up here?
- I am not responsible for her.
391
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,416
- She's here with your brother.
- She's just gonna accuse me
392
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,286
- of being part of the patriarchy!
- You better make her leave.
393
00:15:51,310 --> 00:15:53,270
If we may begin?
394
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,670
We may.
395
00:15:56,450 --> 00:15:57,710
Dearly beloved,
396
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,320
we gather today to welcome
397
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,280
a child of God into the fold.
398
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:05,850
This child has been born in baptism,
399
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:08,550
and she is now called a child of God.
400
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,460
And so, indeed she is.
401
00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:12,470
The confirmation...
402
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,340
My dear brothers and sisters,
403
00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:17,300
let us ask our Lord
to look lovingly on this child
404
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:20,690
who is to baptized,
from her parents and godparents
405
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:23,480
and on all the baptized.
406
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,000
We look upon this baby
in wonder and love,
407
00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:29,310
but now I ask you to
look at one another.
408
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,530
Because you all are examples
to this innocent soul.
409
00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:33,010
Yes, we are.
410
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:35,140
This is the best day of my life.
411
00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:37,010
And let her remind us of the joy
412
00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:40,100
we can feel when we look
past our petty differences
413
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,670
and rejoice in Your glory.
414
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:48,150
What?
415
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:00,120
Gemma, I'm so sorry I was a jerk.
416
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:02,520
Life is too short
and it's too precious.
417
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:04,910
Ugh, it's totes presh.
418
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,570
I'm sorry about the "never" thing.
419
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,700
Of all the people I could have
had an illegitimate baby with,
420
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:15,140
I'm glad I did it with you.
421
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:16,880
So am I.
422
00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:20,010
Will all of you assembled
here promise to guide Daphne
423
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:23,750
to the path of righteousness,
purpose and prosperity?
424
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,076
- Oh, yes.
- Yes, sir. Yes, we will.
425
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,280
Hundo P.
426
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,420
Okay, people, if we can
all gather over here?
427
00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:33,630
Oh.
428
00:17:35,940 --> 00:17:37,460
You got her, baby?
429
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:42,160
No. No.
430
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:45,470
Angela cannot be in this photo.
431
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,910
The photo that's gonna be
over our fireplace forever?
432
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,406
All right, let me think, let me think.
433
00:17:50,430 --> 00:17:51,700
Okay, everybody!
434
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:54,090
Tall people in the back.
435
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:56,700
Angela, you stand
to the right over here.
436
00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:58,620
Okay, here we go.
437
00:17:58,750 --> 00:17:59,856
Okay, everyone, look right here.
438
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,620
One, two, three.
439
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:05,100
Looks great.
440
00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:07,450
Okay, we're gonna do another.
Okay, uh, g...
441
00:18:07,475 --> 00:18:08,516
well, hold on, hold on, hold on.
442
00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:09,970
Uh, Angela?
443
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:11,580
- Yeah?
- Why don't we scooch you
444
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,280
- right back here?
- Okay.
445
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,940
Okay. One, two, three.
446
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,340
You have got to be kidding me.
447
00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:27,666
- C-Can you give us a minute?
- Give us, give us a minute.
448
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,340
Just give us a minute.
449
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:32,820
You know what? It is time
to rip the Band-Aid off.
450
00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:34,300
- Yeah.
- Malcolm?
451
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,570
Can I talk to you for
a minute over here?
452
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,100
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, come on.
453
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,220
Hey, sure thing. What's up, Pop?
454
00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:43,140
Hey, look, uh, Malcolm, you know what?
455
00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:46,710
Your mother and I, we are
very, very, very proud of you.
456
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:51,100
You have put in a lot
of good work on yourself,
457
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,280
and it's just great to see you
458
00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:56,060
in a committed relationship, you know?
459
00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:58,810
Oh. Thank you, Pop.
460
00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:01,810
But what the hell are you doing?
461
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,330
Excuse me?
462
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:06,070
Look, I-I don't know how to put this...
463
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,730
there's no other way to say it.
464
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,730
I can't sugarcoat it,
I can't salt-pinch it...
465
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,210
it's just that we don't like Angela.
466
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:14,820
Really?
467
00:19:14,950 --> 00:19:17,260
You... Mm-mm.
468
00:19:18,746 --> 00:19:19,755
Why?
469
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:20,845
I mean, it's just...
470
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:22,260
everything that she says
471
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,960
and-and she does and...
472
00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:26,620
just pretty much her
whole personality.
473
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,710
Wow.
474
00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:31,580
Look, I'm sorry, because I
know this is what you wanted,
475
00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:33,670
that you really, really like her...
476
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,020
No, I don't.
477
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:36,450
I mean, I thought I did at first,
478
00:19:36,580 --> 00:19:38,540
but once I got to know her...
479
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:40,670
Ooh, she is awful.
480
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,420
You know, I just thought it was
me finding excuses again, Pop.
481
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:46,980
I've been trying so hard to mature
482
00:19:47,005 --> 00:19:48,096
and hang in there with Angela,
483
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,120
even though things aren't perfect.
484
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,970
You know, I just want
what you and Mama have.
485
00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:53,950
And you'll have it, son.
486
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,470
With somebody else, though.
487
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,170
Anybody else.
488
00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:02,390
Look... ugh, Malcolm, I'm sorry,
489
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,790
I guess I'm partly responsible
why Angela is here.
490
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,310
Partly?
491
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,100
It's okay, Mama.
492
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:13,530
- I guess I know what I got to do.
- All right?
493
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:16,320
Do it, and then get rid
of that damn scarf
494
00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,320
so we can take this family picture.
495
00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:20,020
I'm on it.
496
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,060
Hey, Angela? Hey.
497
00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:23,510
Can we talk outside for a minute?
498
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:24,940
Please.
499
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:26,980
Smells like mold in here.
500
00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:30,980
Hold this.
501
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:34,210
You know what?
502
00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:35,746
I think I'm gonna go out there, too.
503
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,640
I just need to talk to Angela.
504
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,170
Just some things that I need to say
505
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:40,536
that I can't say in this damn church.
506
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:41,820
No, Tina. No, no, Tina, no.
507
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,610
No, no, no. Tina, don't you try. Hey.
508
00:20:44,690 --> 00:20:46,530
I need a press.
I need a full press right here.
509
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:51,400
Moth...
510
00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:54,310
Ugh, get her.
511
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,360
- Get her!
- Put me down!
512
00:20:56,689 --> 00:21:03,440
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